stop the play

prod hiraeth
just trying things, sorry if not best

is this as bad as before?
laid out on the floor
how can you claim you wanna know
with all my messages ignored

i don’t think you really understand
i told you alr we wont last
told me where i cut it’s getting bad
but i don’t care,
you wish i never had

fucked up got my head in my hands
i won’t love, you get it all on-demand
no thoughts, running dry like the sand
don’t leave ur all i have

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

leave me alone
i don’t wanna try but ur arguing
i have anxiety
they’re watching me
I’m tryna quit
you don’t really know me
feel like im nothing but misery
I’m tryna find a way to block out what you did to me
you can call me useless
least i had a fucking ounce of trust
let go of everyone
I’m struggling to give you up
you don’t really want me
i had everything and fucked it up
is this a sign that i should stop pretending how to love

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

start of the end

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

lyrics -
hard to think there's no way, incredible
you had him take my place
then one of you
tried to drag my name so i wanna know
what part u had to play cos' i'm sick of u

and it's funny cos' i think you've gone and lost it
got your hand on the button saying 'watch this'
and my hand's under the table as i hear you
staring as i came into the room but i don't see you

why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?
why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?

S.O.S i caved
but i'm still alive barely
tried to beat the struggle but got lost along the way
went too far alone, no rest 
and took it on myself to prove the dark would coat the day
hard to show love most days
no compassion from my friends
but i love that i pulled through
never know for certain
but i'm glad that i'll be home soon

scared to death of life i'll
battle through the pain and kick it off so
don't you ever worry i'm okay, love
cos' i don't really care no not at all though
stick a sword straight through me, watch me bleed out
i won't say a word i'll make you feel that
this moment that we're in will never end
a new life for us will grow
begin

freeze baby, put your hands to your head
'this is love?' she said
i don't get this or the conversation
i ain't good with stress
i can't clean the mess you left
great now it's complicated
just put the gun away, love
there's no time to fight me, we'll figure you out
take my hand and slowly we'll figure this out

i could steal my heart right back
give me fuckin credit cos' i'm loving all that
trauma that you're giving when you're thinking too fast
take another pill i'm sure it'll slow u down

~ fear

Produced by @leftquiet and me :) 
Out on Spotify :P

who are we 
to some degree
everything I touch Will break 

These things I think 
I shouldn't blink 
Death might be the only way 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain

CRAWL

self prod
guitar by hiraeth
<3


in ur own ways
tell me where u stand
no. its not 2 faced
dont understand? :)
is all that you take
left the way u found it? 
now this i cant shake
not this, i doubt it

Maybe on a different day
You’d have been nice to me
Maybe in some different ways
U formed apologies
If the weather was a different type 
Would u still be with me?
Cloudy, with seafret in sight 
Does that mean anything?
its the way that you are
i thought you loved that i hated myself, not to mention
my critiques are poor
theres nothing left in this hollow, ashen and hes tarnished
to
no ones support
i probably could do more
baby watch me fumble, every chance i get in love
im
cutting down my line
is that what you planned for my life ?
its clearly out of spite, youve done it 3 or 4 more times

shake w/ hiraeth

prod me:)

lyrics:

stay right there i promise that i know just how it feels
have an issue being honest
having issues with the real you
isn't what you wanted but i guess you have to deal
every part of you they covet
keep on giving til it kills you

oh my god
i guess i've really done it
turned the people that i love
to people who don't fuck w me
call me what you want
but know that i tried
i know that i
am something i don't wanna be
oh woah
set me free
no
this isn't me
oh woah
look into the mirror and it's something i don't ever wanna see

tried to open up my arms to you
tried to open up your heart but it was glued shut
all i wanted was to help
i thought you knew but
let's call it a truce
i guess we're both confused, love

oh my god
i guess i've really done it
turned the people that i love
to people who don't fuck w me
call me what you want
but know that i tried
i know that i
am something i don't wanna be
oh woah
set me free
no
this isn't me
oh woah
look into the mirror and it's something i don't ever wanna see

covet

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

covet

Yokai Dreams