B I P O L A R 2

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Evidence

Lyrics

I'm stuck inside of my thoughts again
Faded away and I lost a friend
I crossed a line and I'll cross again
Heart full of hate and a lot of sin

Don't say you love me, don't know what that means
"No one above me", so why did you leave?
I know that I'm not a person you need
That's all that I ever wanted to be

I'll never be good enough for your love
I can't go on
All that I wanted was us but that's gone
I got no one

Hurts that you're happy without me
I still think 'bout you, do you think about me?

Don't go, stay close, I can't let go
Oh no I'm so cold, I don't wanna ever feel my soul

"Ken, how you been?" Downbad
Years that I spent tryna' mend, I can't
Music is only as good as I'm sad
Happy is good and I would but I can't

I think maybe I needa grow up
I don't think my time gone show up
I'm sick of life, I just might throw up
Rain pour down, I pour up

Headphones, mic on, I make sad songs
I'm no angel, I ain't ever seen no fuckin' halo

Stuck in all of my fuckin' feelings of nothing
Wanna feel something new
What is all of this loving? I don't feel nothing
I don't know what to do
Rusted on what's still pumping shouldn't of trusted
On what I thought of you
You showed me all your colors
I'll never fall for another

Your eyes pitch black, give my heart back
I fell so fast, you left as fast

spotify.

rxsecxlxr. | Produced by Fantom

prod hiraeth
just trying things, sorry if not best

is this as bad as before?
laid out on the floor
how can you claim you wanna know
with all my messages ignored

i don’t think you really understand
i told you alr we wont last
told me where i cut it’s getting bad
but i don’t care,
you wish i never had

fucked up got my head in my hands
i won’t love, you get it all on-demand
no thoughts, running dry like the sand
don’t leave ur all i have

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

leave me alone
i don’t wanna try but ur arguing
i have anxiety
they’re watching me
I’m tryna quit
you don’t really know me
feel like im nothing but misery
I’m tryna find a way to block out what you did to me
you can call me useless
least i had a fucking ounce of trust
let go of everyone
I’m struggling to give you up
you don’t really want me
i had everything and fucked it up
is this a sign that i should stop pretending how to love

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

start of the end

yuno

lyrics:
i’ll paint this picture of you and i, i know love suicide, i’m not afraid to die 
fall i love with you i see me in your eyes, you try to run from it but i live in your mind 

but you can never from from all that lives inside, i know you hate but it’s true 

and you can try to run from all that lives inside, i swear that i’ll come after you 

i’ll grab you by your wrist and take you everywhere i go 

i know you’re feeling scared so come find safety in your home 

you say you wanna die, well i’m the only one who know, hand inside my hand right by side you wanna go, i won’t let you leave alone no just to let you know. just a couple empty corpses parading in the snow 

say you wanna die? me too, you’re my darling baby, kiss of death in the icu, seems you been reflecting lately in the mirror i see you 

if there’s voices in my head it should be yours, if theres voice in my head, it should be yours 

my pretty little demon, i promise u that i’m not leaving you know i’m obsessive, possessive and lately i’m feening, ion have no heart baby i threw that shit away so here’s my soul to take so please don’t run away 

if that boy try to touch you i’ll kill him, my glock go both ways, get it drawn from the hip and my bullets gon feel (and fill) him, 
i decapitate him i feel like a villain. 

i open up you know the real me, i was scared of the love and shit but i’m wanting this, don’t care it kill me, you know i can help you with healing  

it’s been so long, would you like it if i wrote you a song? treat it like a love letter would you read it along?

Kiss Of Death

in hell, i ate an angel.

seraph

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

Lyrics

Substance at my bedside, I can't get away from it
I like how it makes my head right but I know can't live like this
I'm a fucking addict, this connection parasitic
But I just gotta have it, it hurts so good every time I'm with it

"I'll be good when I'm older"
Say that over and over
If I don't drop this dead ass weight
Then this wall I won't get over

Then this cave I won't escape
Then this pain won't be replaced
By the things that I know are better
Than the tears all on my sweater

Do you see me?
Can you save me?
God I'm callin'
But you don't hear me

Still waitin'
For you to free me
Still craving
Shit I'm not needing

Life's a puzzle and I can't find any peace
I just wither in the rubble, I can hardly even breath
I been stuck inside this bubble of my own fucked up beliefs
That I don't ever have what I need, That I won't ever amount to the person I wanna be

I don't wanna be strong no more, I just wanna leave
Tried so hard to belong to someone but now I see
That the only one on this piece of fucking rock that cares
Is the one making all these fucking songs I share

And that's not me, no it's not Ken
It's the energy that he always held in
When he felt bad every time he got pissed
Till it turned into whatever turned to this

Substance at my bedside
Like how it makes my head right
I'm a fucking addict
I just gotta have it

sitic! | Produced by ERLAX

prod me :)

lyrics:

i could tell you what i've seen 
know you've heard it all before
wouldn't change a thing baby
nothing to report
treat me like i'm dirt
i guess that i am nothing more
my mind is in your bed
but i'm passed out on the porch

aching in my gut, it won't go away
there's a sickness in my blood i can't alleviate
every time we touch i feel myself decay
bearer of a curse i don't wanna break

break
break
break
break

should've left it in the past love
i don't wanna feel this way another day
you said that you wanna see me, should've never came
every time we touch i feel myself decay
bearer of a curse i don't wanna break


leave me in the gutter 
leave it all behind
i see you in the mirror
see you all the time
you say i'll never make it
say i never try
maybe i'm the one to blame
don't have a lucky side

bearer of the curse

run from me (interlude)

lyrics -
hard to think there's no way, incredible
you had him take my place
then one of you
tried to drag my name so i wanna know
what part u had to play cos' i'm sick of u

and it's funny cos' i think you've gone and lost it
got your hand on the button saying 'watch this'
and my hand's under the table as i hear you
staring as i came into the room but i don't see you

why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?
why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?

S.O.S i caved
but i'm still alive barely
tried to beat the struggle but got lost along the way
went too far alone, no rest 
and took it on myself to prove the dark would coat the day
hard to show love most days
no compassion from my friends
but i love that i pulled through
never know for certain
but i'm glad that i'll be home soon

scared to death of life i'll
battle through the pain and kick it off so
don't you ever worry i'm okay, love
cos' i don't really care no not at all though
stick a sword straight through me, watch me bleed out
i won't say a word i'll make you feel that
this moment that we're in will never end
a new life for us will grow
begin

freeze baby, put your hands to your head
'this is love?' she said
i don't get this or the conversation
i ain't good with stress
i can't clean the mess you left
great now it's complicated
just put the gun away, love
there's no time to fight me, we'll figure you out
take my hand and slowly we'll figure this out

i could steal my heart right back
give me fuckin credit cos' i'm loving all that
trauma that you're giving when you're thinking too fast
take another pill i'm sure it'll slow u down

~ fear

Produced by @leftquiet and me :) 
Out on Spotify :P

who are we 
to some degree
everything I touch Will break 

These things I think 
I shouldn't blink 
Death might be the only way 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain

CRAWL

Lyrics

If I fell would you catch me?
I want love, you won't let me
Why do I still fight for dreams?
You only exist when I'm sleep

I wanna feel your love, you wanna watch me die
I wanna build up trust, you wanna make me cry
I would of gave it all up just to give us a try
You were just out getting fucked when I wasn't by your side

Why in the fuck did I think I could make you mine?
Everything you say lies
I'ma make songs about you until I make bank
You gonna watch me rise
Thought what we had was something real but it was so fake
You were just in disguise
I used to feel so much love for you, now it's all hate
All of my feelings collide

I don't feel like myself no more
Are you safe for my health? Not sure
I don't like the way I'm not yours
I don't get what this is all for

If I fell would you catch me?
I want love, you won't let me
Why do I still fight for dreams?
You only exist when I'm sleep

If I fell would you catch me?
I want love, you won't let me
Why do I still fight for dreams?
You only exist in my sleep

Why in the fuck did I think I could make you mine?
Everything you say lies
I'ma make songs about you until I make bank
You gonna watch me rise
Thought what we had was something real but it was so fake
You were just in disguise
I used to feel so much love for you, now it's all hate
All of my feelings collide

I don't feel like myself no more
Are you safe for my health? Not sure
I don't like the way I'm not yours
I don't get what this is all for

disguise. | Produced by yeezo x slaying ibis

prod me <3

stream: https://open.spotify.com/track/7obgzeiYwBxPB6m9Nt7hVq?si=83fed387c7074e01

lyrics:

guess i'm just a little bit too overwhelmed
maybe things are different, i can never tell
think i just might hide in another shell
make a new mistake, what a waste

never take my advice i mean, look at where it got me
nothing in my eyes, i'm no different than a zombie
start another fight
you're the stars within my sky
and the spark that i let die
is something that always haunts me

got me second guessing
can't help but think i was meant for more
on the bedroom floor, i'm stressin
like i was when you went through the door
think i learned a lesson
least i should've
wish i could've
don't know what i expected, just dejected and wanting a little more

this isn't something that i think that you'll want
i don't condone the typa shit that i been on
use my veins as something to trace along
i play a game with no winners

you're so cold
don't let go
bring you home
if you let me
if you let me

second guessing

self prod
guitar by hiraeth
<3


in ur own ways
tell me where u stand
no. its not 2 faced
dont understand? :)
is all that you take
left the way u found it? 
now this i cant shake
not this, i doubt it

Maybe on a different day
You’d have been nice to me
Maybe in some different ways
U formed apologies
If the weather was a different type 
Would u still be with me?
Cloudy, with seafret in sight 
Does that mean anything?
its the way that you are
i thought you loved that i hated myself, not to mention
my critiques are poor
theres nothing left in this hollow, ashen and hes tarnished
to
no ones support
i probably could do more
baby watch me fumble, every chance i get in love
im
cutting down my line
is that what you planned for my life ?
its clearly out of spite, youve done it 3 or 4 more times

shake w/ hiraeth

lil bit of a harder one, hope u enjoy :)

prod: softscars
mastered: tnvr

LYRICS: 

Are we all the same?
Are we all insane?
Watch me fall and feel no pain
Hear you call, don’t hear my name

Don’t hear you calling out to me
Don’t hear your voice, don’t hear you scream
What’s the point in anything?
What’s the point in anything?
I don’t see the point of talking to you right now
I don’t see a point of even hearing you out
You could make a change but we ain’t on the same page
You could change your face but baby, I don’t care what you say
Can’t stop this game
Can’t end my rage
Can’t break these chains
Can’t shake the shame
You could pull me apart and pick at my brain
Just to find out that we are all insane

Are we all the same?
Are we all insane?
Watch me fall and feel no pain
Hear you call, don’t hear my name

we are all insane

@tnvr555

// geist 
take me home
i’m surrounded by ghosts
i’ve been haunted by my past too long
carry on

there’s no coming back
it’s what i had sworn
and then i saw your face
oh how i adored my
who you were
but you’re not anymore
sire me
make me yours
push me back to the floor
oh

if blood is what you need
you can take it from my veins
cause you know i would die for you
any fucking day
so take all that you want
oh baby, spit in my face
cause you know i’d give all for you
but you won’t do the 
same

// rik 
walking on my grave
there’s not much here we could save, save
cast your hex go on your way, way
woah woah
there’s not much here we could save, save
cast your hex go on your way, way

blood stains on the carpet once again
everyday is just another nightmare
some days i can see your ghost
it’s like i’m not always alone
this whole things like a fever dream
don’t wake me up when the bloods still clean
close your eyes
watch a madman disappear
it’s like you're mesmerized
i know everything you fear
super natural
that hungry look in your eyes
you're so beautiful
i’d kill to have you as mine 

// geist and rik 
if blood is what you need
you can take it from my veins
cause you know i would die for you
any fucking day
so take all that you want
oh baby, spit in my face
cause you know i’d give all for you
but you won’t do the 
same

walking on my grave
there’s not much here we could save, save
cast your hex go on your way, way
woah woah
there’s not much here we could save, save
cast your hex go on your way, way 

WALKING ON MY GRAVE 
THERE'S NOT MUCH WE COULD SAVE 
CAST YOUR HEX GO ON YOUR WAY 
WALKING ON MY GRAVE 
THERE'S NOT MUCH WE COULD SAVE 
CAST YOUR HEX GO ON YOUR WAY

walking on my grave

spotify

walking on my grave w/ revengeinkyoto [tnvr]

prod. blank
lyrics: aren't we all a little terrified?
judging through a blinded eye
i seen what you saw but it wont suffice
it was in my head
but i seen your rose on the cliff edge
gravity would be proud
gravity would be proud
as it locks me in
and pulls me down
my decision was all mine
talk me out? you know im fine
this is what i wanted
this is where the plot ends
bury my bones all thats left
found my home here in the sand.

rose.mp3

Production: me :)
Vocals: @lilxlotus
art: https://twitter.com/lexijohnstonx
Lyrics

I don't think that i'll be fine and I can't do this
It's a struggle every night just to get through it

Look me straight in the eye, am I just wasting my time?
You had me waiting for hours and promised this wasn't good bye
And i'm not feeling alright, but you swear i'll be fine
It makes me sick to my stomach, I can't get you out of my mind
I cant get you out of my mind
My mind
My mind
It makes me sick to my stomach, I cant get you out of my mind

Look me straight in the eye (I don't think that i'll be fine and I cant do this), am I just wasting my time?
You had me waiting for hours (Its a struggle every night just to get through it) and promised this wasn't good bye
And i'm not feeling alright (I don't think that i'll be fine and I cant do this), but you swear i'll be fine
It makes me sick to my stomach (Its a struggle every night just to get through it) I cant get you out of mind
I cant get you out of mind

(look me straight in the eye, am I just wasting my time?)
My mind
(You had me waiting for hours and promised this wasn't good bye)
My mind, makes me sick to my stomach I cant get you out of my mind

And i'm not feeling alright, but you swear i'll be fine
It makes me sick to my stomach, I cant get you out of my mind
I cant get you out of my mind
My mind
My mind
My mind
It makes me sick to my stomach, I cant get you out of my mind

Out Of My Mind (ft. Lil Lotus)

Lyrics

Hard to know what I feel when I'm out my mind now
I can't tell if it's real, I might just be blind now
Broken heart, cold as steel, life don't feel like mine now
I don't even wanna live, runnin out of time now

I don't know what did so bad to deserve this
I wish I could let you in but I get so nervous
Turned into a mess again, I wish I was perfect
Scrollin' through our messages when my life was perfect

God show me what to do now
Please hold me, I have stooped down
Lower than I ever even knew how
Failed so many times, now I just loose count

Screaming at my laptop, stupid fucking backdrop
I'm a fucking dropout, should of never slacked off
My teacher told me I would be nothing
But a statistic, honestly fuck this

That didn't help me, you didn't scare me
On to the right path, I just grew weary
Now I'm exactly what you said I'd be
I never got why people don't like me

I don't how to get out of my head
Pain is all I know now, I'll be good when I'm dead
Feel it getting close now, breathing down on my neck
Hands around my throat now, suffocating

You can't make me feel what I don't
Don't say that you'll save me, I know that you won't
Fuck up on the daily, you already know
They be tryna take me for my fucking soul

download

dropout! | Produced by IOF

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

second guessing

Yokai Dreams