i’ve been feeling different lately
tryna make sense of the mind that hates me
i follow the orders i’m creating
can’t ruin the flow or my body starts breaking

in the night it’ll catch me up and swallow me away
and i can't fight it off so i let it consume me easily
i wake up and cannot breathe
i’m shaking like i might freeze
there’s no control anxiety
it’s the one controlling me

i tried everything i learned and nothing seems to give me peace
it’s so cruel to happen when there’s no one there to help me
wish that i could live my life without this dumb anxiety
but it’s found me now, it’s what i know only

it’s a nightmare
this phobia is eating me alive
and i can’t fight it
don’t call me just emotional since i did not decide this
and don’t remind me
the trigger’s hiding
i know it’s my head
so don’t keep talking whilst i'm dying

i tried everything i learned and nothing seems to give me peace
it’s so cruel to happen when there’s no one there to help me
wish that i could live my life without this dumb anxiety
but it’s found me now, it’s what i know only

phobia [hollowprpl]

lyrics


when i woke up 
i saw ur body in that box
uve made ur decision 
while i sit here and rot
i keep tryna push off these blessings that i got
tell me would you still be there when the frost forms
im so damn greedy oh we couldve got more
i reject the meaning should i sit and watch more
i was never real so i bought more 
oh i bleed in bad forms

not what i want
disbelief in what i saw
is it all good now
as it all burns down

bullshit on my phone
i had to cut it off
tell me am i prone
to losing what i got
sometimes u jus have
to let it run its course
i pour up this liquor 
and my fate restored

when i woke up 
i saw ur body in that box
uve made ur decision 
while i sit here and rot
i keep tryna push off these blessings that i got
tell me wuld you still be there when the frost forms
im so damn greedy oh we couldve got more
i reject the meaning should i sit and watch more
i was never real so i bought more 
oh i bleed in bad forms

made of ice (sorrowbringer)

im bad for you
my love, am i bad for you?
id die, if you asked me to
without ever being mad at you
id kill for us
my love, am i bad for us ?
held down, i could pull you up
paranoid that im not enough

take what you want and leave me by the road
im always involved but im always alone
pull me from hell, pull me outta my hole
im taking it back, this delusion i stole
my familys big but nobody is home
this music means nothing cause nobody knows
theyd only downplay it and rip it to bones
i thought youd be proud of me, how would i know ?
held by my feelings and losing my hope
all that i wanted, destroyed all i know 
it feels like im chasing but being left behind
imposing this talent, its nothing of mine

texture of your skins so lovely
its nothing as rough as mine
if i cant be enough on the surface
how could i be all you like ?
i cant make decisions, dont worry
im on the fence this time
gods holding his hand out just for me
and blinded both my eyes

imposter

prod me:)
hope u enjoy !

stream here: https://share.amuse.io/UOwtADVEOSum

cover art by https://soundcloud.com/melmige

lyrics:

i guess u caught me off guard
my head in the sand
a scar on my arm
a knife in my back
a noose on my neck i'm barely holding on to
so exhausted
so exhausted
trust me love, don't think you'd understand
the depth of my lack of trust in other plans
the best that i am i'm barely holding on to
so dishonest
so dishonest

just a moment of respite
is that too much to ask?
i fear they made me broken
am i only a replicant of man?
terrified of my flawed emotions
what a shame
i'll place blame
on my brain
see your face
and lose my focus
i evade, to dodge fate is hopeless
go unnoticed that lately i've been

tongue tied
wish i could speak my mind when i'm not high
wish that you could see me in the right mind
say you're terrified, baby so am i
guess that i just need a way to unwind
when it's late at night do i come to mind?
wish that you could know that you've been on mine
wouldn't lie this time
tell me would you mind if i resided by your side?

i try to breathe but i can't
i think i'm choking up
i need you more than you understand
like very much
i won't deceive you again
i know my words aren't enough
to reconcile with the part of me you'll never trust
take the burdens i carry and i'll desert em
but i know i'll continue to feel like i deserve em
i try to make it right
i fear i've made it worse
i'd die to sing a verse
but lately i've been

tongue tied
wish i could speak my mind when i'm not high
wish that you could see me in the right mind
say you're terrified, baby so am i
guess that i just need a way to unwind
when it's late at night do i come to mind?
wish that you could know that you've been on mine
wouldn't lie this time
tell me would you mind if i resided by your side?

keep it up, it's hard to keep the right course
keep me locked away behind a closed door
i reject the thought that i could ever be enough
what is there to be afraid of?

scared of how i'll b received if i put my heart out on these louis v sleeves
scared that you'll grab all ur things and just leave in the night when i've fallen asleep
i cannot tell u my secrets
i don't believe u can keep them
i'll bury myself in the coffin it's self preservation to get some relief

tongue tied

prod. me

https://share.amuse.io/track/wyfy-coward

(these walls weren't built with stones)
(i'm amazed they stayed so cold)
(you said you got no place to go)
(please don't worry, just come home)
(please don't worry, just come home)
(home)
(please don't worry just come home)

you were so narcissistic
oh everyone could see it
yelling loud would never make you the voice of reason
you made me wanna harm myself
i'd think for hours
i'd probably end myself too if i wasn't such a coward

(such a coward, wasn't such a coward)
(you made me wanna harm myself)
(i'd think for hours)
(i'd probably end myself too if i wasn't such a coward)

oh i got blood all on my face
try to wipe off, left a stain
upon my hands and everything
it feels like you're turning on me
(on me, on me, on me, on me)
i got my white shirt hanging off
of the corner of my door
holding my breath
to not gasp
from the pain leakin on my floor
(on my)

you got me choking on disgust
it's pathetic
it's myself that i can't trust
any time i think i've got it
i don't feel satisfied
you're saying it's "enough"
but i just can't let it slide
i've got this ache deep in my bones
tell myself it's just a habit
can't let nobody close know
they'll see me different if they have it
my shirt is soaking up my tears and i'm beating on my wall
i am barely getting air in
just waiting for their call

it all hurts so much
i just wanna let go
no struggle each breath
i just wanna be alone
i can't keep this up
i'm sinking in the mud
forcing every move
thought you were someone i could love
i could love
thought you were someone i could love
i could love
thought you were someone i could love

coward

saturn (notenvy)

had this one in the vault for a while and am really happy to finally show it to u guys, hope u enjoy:)

Produced, Mixed and Mastered by Tnvr

Stream here! : 
https://share.amuse.io/cV4oHhs2Q-a1

lyrics:

well i hate
that i needed you this much
didn't know til it was too late
now you're out there falling in love
guess i didn't say enough
now you're burning up our polaroids
you're sick of seeing us
i'll pick up the pieces til i finally have them all
could you keep me like a secret, will you answer when i call you?

you should know that it was all for you
that it was all for you
that it was all for you

is it me? is it him?
is it someone else entirely?
i love you in entirety
i haven't cut you off but i should
if i could
if i could but you know that i never ever would
try to breathe, take it slow
know you said you'd never lie to me
hang me like a tire swing
i'll leave you in my memory for good
as i should
as i should
i don't think that i ever really could

guess that you can call me when you want
yeah you make me feel like
i'm the only one
stepping on landmines
i never told you how i love you every damn time
write another sad line, maybe you'll hear it
is it me that you need, or did you find a different tune?
did you find a better rhyme, or did you find something to lose?
well

you should know that it was all for you
that it was all for you
that it was all for you

is it me? is it him?
is it someone else entirely?
i love you in entirety
i haven't cut you off but i should
if i could
if i could but you know that i never ever would
try to breathe, take it slow
know you said you'd never lie to me
hang me like a tire swing
i'll leave you in my memory for good
as i should
as i should
i don't think that i ever really could

Tire Swing (tnvr)

prod by stezzyxl
w/ hvci
w/ xav0id

enjoy

lyrics:
every step i take
every song i made
was never close enough to heal the stains around my name
every lie i made
with every smile i faked
was never close enough to heal the wounds inside my veins

i open up, but they just always shut the door
i never speak to anyone like anymore
i lost my friends, and then my heart along the floor
i sweared to myself not to end up like before

3 am in the morning
i can barely sleep tonight
my body is giving me warnings
day by day, my chest is tight
i’ve been though it
i’ll be fine
swear to god i’ll be alright
ive been though it
i’m alright
swear to god ill be all fine

the air so thick
it grabs my throat
and i cannot breathe
something don’t click
brushing off my shoulders
i’ve been here, i do admit
looking at my options
have no choice, but too destroy
melancholy love
melancholy love
i try to avoid

(xavoid - )
quiet glass
worn thin
city hum
low and dim
lines shift under low light
hours fold into night
cold rain on empty streets
shapes dissolve where walls meet
breath slows in vacant air
holding onto something rare

names drift past like quiet streams
tracing edges of my dreams
your voice lingers in the hush
like the last page of a rush
windows hold a silver stain
footsteps fade but leave the pain
each moment bends into a line
folded under time’s design

(hvci - )
i like your style
but it’s a crooked mile
tears stitch awhile
beneath the exile
i like your style
but it’s a crooked mile
tears stitch awhile
beneath the exile

melancholy w/ xav0id & hvci

lyrics ⬇️ 


i like your lips my love but you dont talk
wont work at all i know im far from you
but please dont insult me
id rather you ghost me as you do
and its a shame that i cant trust a single thing you say

a dusty brain i can’t explain all of the stuff that i went thru
dropped from a crane
cant word this pain but i promise you its nothin new 
want me to blink
wake up to drink
i slowly sink i see its true
no saving grace thats all i’ll say
i cant escape when you dont prove
I know ill lose
theres no excuse 
cuz i cant shake this grave today

say it to my face
or ill be in your way for awhile girl
you dont want that for sure
yea you dont text back for hours at a time
lowkey it massacres my heart when you say that but never why

never wanna know how i feel i keep it in the back of my mind
runnin out cuz i know know that you think i wouldn’t see
but you don’t got a clue cuz you dont know me
Know i wish you could
i had all the time in the world

Dont cover your eyes
i wanna see them in the light
just once jus once
just one “more” time
i never expected you to feel like i was always what you want
know i never was know i never was
well i wish that you could see what i saw

as you do (everest)

focus

enough

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

Tire Swing (tnvr)

Yokai Dreams