you put ur hands all on me now im leaving
you tell me that you love me, do you mean it ?
mean it 
mean it
dont you ever mean it ?
how could i mean everything you keep me as a secret

i put the switchblade to my arm
you left in the pain now its all gone wrong
you left me in vein now youre all i want
i dont gotta stay but shes all i want

like keep me as a secret
you mean it ? you wont leave ?
tell me that you miss him im griping upon ur sleeve
and even in the end i wont matter i wont breathe
im sick of always wanting the best and its not me

sleepwater
keep me from what you been selling please
pushing straight down make it hard to breath
i'm not okay now find it to hard breath !
dont know who to chase now, guess it wasn't me
rolling with my
guess ill just roll on my own i guess ill just roll on my own

i put the switchblade to my arm
you left in the pain now its all gone wrong
you left me in vein now youre all i want
i dont gotta stay but shes all i want

like keep me as a secret
you mean it ? you wont leave ?
tell me that you miss him im griping upon ur sleeve
and even in the end i wont matter i wont breathe
im sick of always wanting the best and its not me

roll on my own (feat. sleepwater)(prod. unlucky)

lyrics

if theres a light she gon snuff it out
if theres a heart she gon rip it out
brick walls and a mattress on the basement floor
the worst part is i bet she didnt even think at all
think to call
think to care
would u even care
u got skeletons theyre hiding underneath the stairs
she got patience for everyone but me
im just stating facts
we wasnt meant to last

if theres a light she gon snuff it out
if theres a heart she gon rip it out
and im just cold waiting for the sound
dont hmu if ur back in town

1000 miles from ur house thats up the mountains
we say our parts and the tears come like a fountain
broken hearts keep a list cus she been counting 
my head is sore could u try and keep it down
i been moving on
think im going strong
but the damage has been done
and it was fucking wrong
ay i put i on faith
u wont recognize my face
too much has fucking changed
and i dont look the same anymore

and if theres a light she gon snuff it out
if theres a heart she gon rip it out
im just cold waiting for the sound
dont hmu if ur back in town

i dont look the same anymore (pekarot)

prod me :)

lyrics:

it takes a lot to understand
and a lot just to forgive
i got a song stuck in my head
and the words just make me sick
because it makes me think of you
and that's the last thin i wanna do
we were kissing til we can't 
making angels in the snow
now i've got an empty hand 
and a lump within my throat
and i just can't seem to renew
because there's no one else like you

i
don't wanna cry
so leave me inside
where i'm without harm
lie
i hate when i lie
i'm feeling like ice
i'd like to be warm

so
where u been at, where u been at?
cold
i'm used to that, i'm used to bein
alone
will you be back before i turn to stone?

no
i don't think that you'll make it even close
and god i wish i didn't have to know
i didn't have to know

i don't wanna go
but i don't wanna stay
cuz everywhere i look i see your face
i don't wanna go
i guess i'll stay the same
i've never felt like more of a disgrace


I GUESS I'M TALKING TO MYSELF, LOVE
HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH A GHOST
I SWEAR THE THOUGHT OF YOU'S A PARASITE
AND I'M A VERY WILLING HOST
I'D GIVE IT ALL TO SEE YOU BACK HERE
BUT I DON'T HAVE A LOT TO LOSE
I GUESS I'M TALKING TO MYSELF, DEAR
BECAUSE IT CLEARLY ISN'T YOU

Echo 419

i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 

w/ @heylog

prod: https://soundcloud.com/eric-godlow
master: https://soundcloud.com/ezraspandora 

looking back baby,
i already was hollow
toss it back 
way too fast 
till i get through the bottle
i don't wanna leave this club
i just wanna drink 
until i throw it all up
(lock me up)
want you to squeeze until i'm leaking out blood
i wanna see just how it feels to go numb
i wanna feel it on the tip of my tongue
let's fuck it up until we're going out bad 
let's break it all apart until there's nothing fucking left
cause i want you to see me like i'm nothing more than flesh 
and i want you to tell me i'm a waste of fucking breath
oh i'm terrible 
i'm the reason you're falling 
unbearable 
i'm the bones in your closet
i still just wanna see you get out 
there's nothing left for me to be now

damn it all 
pray for what 
there's nobody there
(i'm too far gone)
tell me why 
i wanted you then 
i want you now

heylog:
i'm chillin at a party, why'd i decide to go out
wish i just stayed home but i been stuck inside my house
i don't even care, i'd much rather be sober
she hung around the bottles and i could tell it broke her
i'm glad i can't relate cause i've never had that problem
you told me i'm rude for that but hey, i'm being honest
i would never lie to you, just want you to stop it
i could up and go, i've got plenty of options
quit talking, ur just holding me back
it's safe to say, tonight ur getting trashed
take a second to breathe, ik ur sad
you don't have to drink it away, could you relax
she phones her girls for a ride at 3am
can't even walk to her room, she needs a hand
throwing up all the time, she's used to it
friday night rolls around and repeat it

tip of my tongue (w/ heylog) (prod. eric godlow)

prod me :)

lyrics:

can we just breathe?
i'm underground
i'm underwater in my doubt
i'm lost at sea and there's no way out
i grit my teeth and i scream out loud
hurt me deeply forevermore
our love encased within the metaphor
and i can't wrap my head around
the fact that i've been kept as a last resort

cuz baby there's nothing inside me
at least that i am comfortable with sharing
the wind has blown her hair and i'm staring
she causing tidal waves i better change my bearing
baby you do something to me
that i couldn't explain if i wanted
i keep a photograph of you in my wallet
and i stay up at night with thoughts of you in my head
cuz i can sleep when i'm dead

When I'm Dead

@lilskeleskrrt
@prodjpjp

// geist
don’t look at me and tell me no hard feelings
blood was lost, it’s dripping through the ceiling
i saw this coming from a mile away
the knife was left in my chest for a reason
but i wish you the best forever, you win
i don’t want to fall in love with hate

i just wanted to dance
when your hand’s in my hand i feel my heart is racing
lost in a trance
but now i’m alone and i rot in this basement
there’s blood on my hands
and i paint the walls red when given a chance
oh don’t give me that glance
your eyes tell me secrets my heart cannot stand

oh
the knife was left for a reason :/
oh
wish you the best forever you win...

// skele
cut me right thru
baby you don’t need a panic
watch it pour out
darling isn’t it romantic
it’s like paradise
fading out
only you and i
somebody call the surgeon
tell him that it’s urgent
on the table stained red
i told you
i think that it was worth it
this is perfect
if you hold me as i go
i’ll wait up there for certain

and you
are
the reason
that i lay awake
staying up
i’ve been stuck here for days
hold my heart
in ur hand till breaks

don’t keep telling me to let go
screaming out
i stop to listen to the echo
not enough
fucking tearing up my throat
i’ll keep going
till the blood
makes me choke
what you know
baby tell me where you go at night
empty out this bed
i’m still not feeling right
staring at my meds
i’m on the borderline
walk along the edge
i don’t feel alive

spotify

paradise w/ skele [jpjp]

awake for too long [I S O L A T E D]

lyrics

Lord knows theres not a lot left for me
so ill just move along
i know you like to watch me hurt
but jokes on you i cant feel at all
i cant trust my mind
with these fucking with drawals
but i dont need anybodys help with this
your fingers on my lips
your face in my hands
we talk early morning
write your name in the sand
want this feeling to last forever, i know
she asked do i want to live forever, i dont
said im way too much for you
but im not that much at all

lets say this was all a lie
wake up in the sunrise
would you come and find me
said youd meet me in another life
i wish i had some extra hours at the end of the day
cuz lately i dont even got not time to cry
wish i could make something that sounded right
wish i could help you live a happy life

if i was living forever the goal is my shelter 
shielding me out from everything that ive lost 
if your goal was forever we messed it up early 
on in the span of what could have been 
oh in the span of the time that ive spent 
lamenting the thoughts of another night in 
wish i could wake up in the evening like we did too many times back then 
but you don’t have to think like that 
that’s where I think it all began then we 
separate like the tide and the sand 
locked in another memory of regret and shame 
cant forget when i first spoke your name 
id rather not

lets say this was all a lie
wake up in the sunrise
would you come and find me
said youd meet me in another life
i wish i had some extra hours at the end of the day
cuz lately i dont even got not time to cry
wish i could make something that sounded right

another life w/ lil booj (p. king theta)

when the grub in the mud loses grip, will it beg to be dug up?
coreless, they deject.
"let it writhe 'till it's gone," nothing less.

choking up on my tears
it's not very kind here
patience wouldn't make it, so i guess i'm living lightyears
nature couldn't shake the foreign waste and counterweight of tainted goods
haven wallowed in a rain of thought,
have i become a flood?

it's not terrifying if struck by the lightning 'fore you should come to hear it
i'm cowering, yet fearless
prone to eject, so what should i expect if they follow me back one day?

who'd know i wasn't here?
for the sake of appeal, cover up any scent that should emit from the kiln
cut the burden in twine, make a lavender pie
though may it taste of refinement, you are eating my life

when i don't wanna feel, it make me feel some more
quiet mind is bloodshot, figures striking horror
try you may to heal, though should it turn to gore
it's futile to recall of what is all that i deplore

choking up on my tears
it's not very kind here
patience wouldn't make it, so i guess i'm living lightyears
nature couldn't shake the foreign waste and counterweight of tainted goods
haven wallowed in a rain of thought,
have i become a flood?

it's raining, it's pouring
importance is snoring
so write me a story of you, and i
where this evisceration replies with elation
and guts every morsel of spite

(why do i try)

the flood

thank you for liking strangers again, here’s part 2…

thank you evergarden 


my heads a wreck i think i miss you
even after everything we went through
this takes a lot for me to say
but i wish that i stayed with you

your face is in my dreams
i need you to help me sleep
do you still remember how to fall in love with me?
i keep every photograph 
because i like looking back

though our love was a tragedy

we both had broken minds
can we leave it all behind
the time we've spent apart has consumed my mind
all the toxicity
that wasn't meant to be
what was it like to fall out of love with me 

you'd say often i think too much
overthinking, what can't be undone
do it to myself and it takes everything

i need closure
it's been in the way
guess the picture painted
doesn't always fit the frame
complicated
doesn't feel the same
and the time i wasted
won't be getting back again

would it hurt you so much just to try
fell in love with the sparkle of your eyes

guess it's time i make a change
all for nothing 
such a shame

back to strangers just like that 

we both had broken minds
can we leave it all behind
the time we've spent apart has consumed my mind
all the toxicity
that wasn't meant to be
what was it like to fall out of love with me

back to strangers (ft. evergarden) [acey]

prod. neverforever x weepings

I watch days march on by
See my friends live their lives
while I'm frozen in place
My passion's left no trace
~
I was once filled with life  
A glimmer in my eyes
But that boy has died
and I've no where to hide

(Do you know how tiny you are?)

I must find myself; but don't know where to look
I followed my heart; but I swallowed the hook

Now I'm being pulled in like every direction I can't make a choice
I been so damn quiet these days I fear that I'm losing my voice
I don't have a purpose; I don't have a path to break through the noise
Now all of the things that used to bring joy have left me devoid

smthn hella different

apathy [prod. neverforever]

i'm stuck in the past but you don't have to be

@ninenineteencollective

dm or email me for fts, mixes, whatever :)

Email: yokaidreams30@gmail.com

When I'm Dead

Yokai Dreams