Beauty

womp

[ P2P7R3 ] [ I ]

*(っ˘ω˘ς )*

bad timing! ✨


(luvknshi)

run away , cause i can’t feel the pain tonight ,

and i just want you out of my brain ,

and i don’t wanna sit and wait for you in the rain ,

and i’m just tired of hoping that you feel the fucking same



(nova)

you told me its-

bad timing

thought u loved me but i guess that u were lying

fuck u, bitch

no

im not crying

thought u loved me but i guess it was bad timing



(luvknshi)

play with me like i’m a charm , baby you’re the worst ,

i can’t tell you how much i despise you it just fuckin hurts ,

so won’t you tell me why i’m dying inside ,

you just wanna hurt me , i won’t fuckin lie ,



cause you running out of time ,

and i’m tired of goodbyes ,

i’m just hoping that you’ll lay with me before i fuckin die ,

so just wipe those tears , i don’t wanna see you cry ,

cause you broke my heart , so i’m turning to the lines



(luvknshi & nova)

cause i’m so sick of this ,

i got your name tatted on my wrist , oh lord ,

won’t you write back ,

cause i already know the fucking risks , i’m torn



maybe i’ll cry , cause it’s only the beginning ,

watching me now , and it hurts to see i’m winning ,

patience grew strong , but it’s slowly fucking thinning ,

but she don’t like her friends , that’s why i’m slowly going missing ,



(nova)

it was never the same

i offered love until the end

now you sayin that we're just better off friends

how u really finna say that u dont love me?

bitch u know i'll kiss u on the gang

dont tempt me



im empty-

every fucking day

pls end me

i just gotta say

i love u

i'll never go away



im finna stay till this shit stops being so-



bad timing

thought u loved me but i guess that u were lying

fuck u, bitch

no

im not crying

thought u loved me but i guess it was bad timing

bad timing! + luvknshi

bad timing! + luvknshi (prod. number48)

estrogen and the doldrums (demo)

sorrow w/ kaido

prod @recyclexbin

@ihatebixby
i know i talk a lot
i'll give u the time
just know im not enough
ur so out of line
look at the stars tonight
i'm falling apart
i know it's all a lie

@1endie 
i know by the way you move
and understood how could i be such a fool
she's not over him like she said she was
you dont have a clue
love is hard to find would you open your eyes
i know that i might
fall all over again
one more step me and roan hit the dance floor
all of my exs they tryina say hello
fuck it say goodbye to all my ops
im leavin in 40 i leave on the dot on the clock
so what are you waiting for
i dip out the function they say that its boring
fuck it too many text i ignore it
i take your girl then skrt off in a foreign

@whoisroan
i know we talked last night and we argued a lot 
and girl i hate to fight but sometimes it can’t be helped 
and girl you know i try to fix what we have 
cause i don’t wanna go back to the way it was
girl i keep trying but it’s hard, what u said made me feel apart
and ive been in my bed all day and i’m just hoping that u stay
and if u need to take a break i’ll try and give u all the space that u need because ur everything to me girl

throw ur life away w/ endie & roan (recycleBin)

produced by LARUE MADE IT

ig www.instagram.com/4javan/

you killin' my heart
but you look divine when you do it
it took some time when i turn around
you did me dirty but i aint hear a sound

havent seen u in 500 days baby
would you still believe me
its been bout 500 days baby
just wondering if you love me

now
were talking bout now and forever
i still smell my scent on your sweater 
i know you know 
you know that i am better

sending me messages 
wondering where i been
send in my location 
so you can stop all this
all these thoughts in my head
thought about the things you said
following my old footsteps

now
were talking bout now and forever
i still smell my scent on your sweater 
i know you know 
you know that i am better

you killin' my heart
but you look divine when you do it
it took some time when i turn around
you did me dirty but i aint hear a sound

(no oh oh oh oh oh)

divine

@prodbyjoshwa

said ur coming back but i won't lie
u dont wna act try to fool me twice
heart trapped in the moment
i see it untapped looking in ur eyes

cuz u dont wna fall
on and off baby
slow
breaking my own heart lately
it's hard for me to breathe im
comparing endlessly

fucked up the memory
know what u said to me
wasting all my time
cant afford to let u see
take all thts mine </3

endlessly (joshwa)

@1spoder
https://www.instagram.com/1spoder/

produced by @prodbyjoshwa
www.instagram.com/prodbyjoshwa/

[lyrics]

(spoder)
you drunk back at 4 am
this shit ain't that easy
tryna find a purpose hoping someone gonna need me
i got a ring, "hello?"
get to the guap, gotta go
i move the pack and i'm gone (bye)
i knew for a fact you were wrong

and my world keeps spinning
can't remember if i'm winning
i'll see you later
she only care about paper
remind me it's not ever fair
for once, felt like a cool a hunnid bucks
she told me i was not enough
i wish that you knew you were wrong
and my world keeps spinning
can't remember if i'm winning
i'll see you later
she only care about paper
remind me it's not ever fair
for once, felt like a cool a hunnid bucks
she told me i was not enough
i wish that you knew you were wrong

(javan)
something doesn't feel right
feel like i'm dancing with the devil
for like half my life
our love ain't that stable
i been looking for a change
hoping you would do the same
can you tell
this love ain't right for me
lying on the floor 
i been thinking if i'm being used
actin if she cared (cared, cared)
i'm like so confused
why you acting so recluse
i mean it's up to you
you been acting such a fool
i'll just head out soon

(something doesn't feel right
feel like i'm dancing with the devil
for like half my life
our love ain't that stable
i been looking for a change
hoping you would do the same
can you tell
this love ain't right for me)

woke up from the floor
i wanted something more
i'm the one you should adore
(dore, dore, dore)
woke up from the floor
i wanted something more
i'm the one you should adore
(dore, dore, dore)
oooohhhh

(spoder)
and my world keeps spinning
can't remember if i'm winning
i'll see you later
she only care about paper
remind me it's not ever fair
for once, felt like a cool a hunnid bucks
she told me i was not enough
i wish that you knew you were wrong
and my world keeps spinning
can't remember if i'm winning
i'll see you later
she only care about paper
remind me it's not ever fair
for once, felt like a cool a hunnid bucks
she told me i was not enough
i wish that you knew you were wrong

exploit w/ spoder (joshwa)

source: https://www.youtube.com/c/nothingnowherearchive

nothing,nowhere. - LUV ME (prod. by Jay Vee)

prod me

To be honest with you
I don’t know if I am really alright 
Love in disguise
I’ll be just fine 

Ooohh
Just say what you bout to say 
I’m just 1 mile away 
Ooohh
Just say what you bout to say 
I’m just 1 mile away 

She said alladin why you so different
Trust me i change every season 
You know i gotta keep my distance
But now im feelin so different
(You, you, you) 
Calling you my bluff (uh huh)
One I can trust (uh huh)
One who I love (uh huh)

To be honest with you
I don’t know if I am really alright 
Love in disguise
I’ll be just fine 

Ooohh
Just say what you bout to say 
I’m just 1 mile away 
Ooohh
Just say what you bout to say 
I’m just 1 mile away

isolated

u suck & i h8 u (prod. love matt & chris marek)

how
how come i'm never enough?
my friends- keep on telling me it's just bad luck
im in a bit of a rut
misfortune of feelings i mistook for love

and you keep on texting me lately
don't understand why you're calling me "baby"
this isn't temporary, this is for real
you never would listen to how i would feel.

but now-
ur on the edge of the earth, my dear
now
u want us to run and just disappear

but you...

SUCK
YOU NEVER GAVE ANY FUCKS
TIRED OF HEARING THAT IT'S JUST BAD LUCK
I SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
THE VOICES REMIND ME THAT YOU-

SUCK
YOU NEVER GAVE ANY FUCKS
TIRED OF HEARING THAT IT'S JUST BAD LUCK
I SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
THE VOICES REMIND ME THAT YOU-

(you really do fuckin blow. and i know i'm too emotional but you?)
[so why are you calling me "baby"? 
the shit that you said, it made me feel like i'm going crazy]

YEA YOU SUCK.

you really- you really suck

YEA YOU SUCK
YOU NEVER GAVE ANY FUCKS
TIRED OF HEARING THAT IT'S JUST BAD LUCK
I SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
THE VOICES REMIND ME THAT YOU-

SUCK
YOU NEVER GAVE ANY FUCKS
TIRED OF HEARING THAT IT'S JUST BAD LUCK
I SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
THE VOICES REMIND ME THAT YOU-

suck.

[so why are you calling me "baby"? 
the shit that you said, it made me feel like i'm going crazy]

(you're a piece of shit, fuck you!)

yea, you suck.
yea, you.

u suck & i h8 u (prod. love matt & chris marek)

trying something out of my comfort zone <3
vocals and production by me



<3 lyrics: 
the best is wat you get
its what you sell yourself for
out partying, unwinding
yourself
the string lights in your room
are not so bright, as the ones
that you keep inside my.. head

and i got fooled with
I-L-YOUS and
manditory 
self, gloating
and im not sorry
that you're not alone..

room

rosemary ft. kiyana

I’m getting sick of this town… finally

mybadnevermind

Lyrics 

Twentymissedcalls
Bloodsplatter across the dining room table
Ghost walking down the street 
Do not ask for my help cause Im not stable 
Bad dreams gripping the sheets 
Ive been in LA but you know I've been round 
You changed your number nobody to call now 
Ill change my name go ghost like Danny phantom 
Ive been in LA but you know I've been round

Angelsflight
And take a minute too
To find a part in you
I dont know why 
im all alone 
Baby I think we should call it this time 
All we can do is stop and realize 
Beating my chest 
Cut my heart out with knives 
Wrote on a paper you hope that I die 
Bitch I don't owe you no more of my life 

My frustrations 2x

Twentymissedcalls 
And I wanna tell you 
And I see right thru you 
And I think that were done 
And I wanna tell you 

Sit on the beach in the sand watch the sun 
It turns to stars now my night has begun 

Now you're stuck here sending texts in the rain 
Calling you Courtney you killed me Cobain
Know you're stuck in cemetery's so deep 
Thinking of you brings me right to my knees 
Laying own the asphalt 
Smoking cigerettes watching ash fall 
Laying own the asphalt 
Smoking cigerettes watching ash fall

Bloodsplatter across the dining room table   2x
Ghost walking down the street 
Do not ask for my help cause Im not stable 
Bad dreams gripping the sheets 
Ive been in LA but you know I've been round 
You changed your number nobody to call now 
Ill change my name go ghost like Danny phantom 
Ive been in LA but you know I've been round

UNSTABLE ft. ANGELSFLIGHT (lavendertxwn)

Some1 like me

produced by wetgropes
mixed by me
written by me 

im getting sick of the way, you hate everything
you need to make up your mind, ill give you some time to think

you think you're in love
you dont know what it means
so ima write all these songs
to hide the blood on my sleeves
oh yeaaa

ima show them what im made offff
you bottle up your feeling thats what im afraid of
yeaaa

ive been trying 
ive been screaming out your name
but it wont ever feel the same
theres not a way to make you change

hating you isnt enough for me
i wanna sit there and watch you bleed
hating you isnt enough for me
i wanna make you screammmm

ima superstar
with a stupid heart
im fucking sick of all these lies
fuck this shit do another line

tell mee what ur afraid of 
ill make it go away
ill take you somewhere safe
we're going far away

hating you isnt enough for me

made april 17th, 2021

i can't fathom the things that you said
i wouldn't do it if i didn't have to
you think i'm better off dead
fuck all your friends man i didn't need you
man all of you see-through
man i cannot believe you
through all our differences man i saw you grow
finding your place and finding your damn home
i catch it then fumble the bag
i wish i was wise like my dad
i did before man i'll do it again
but this time i ain't confident
i ain't be doing this if i ain't had to
aching inside of me i'm on my last screw
no matter what happens i'll be here
increasingly hard this time of year

words (april 17th, 2021)

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0IHbekaueGek7nFPKpZpbD?si=89260079818e4242
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/desideratum

produced by 8een & arcane
additional production by me
mixed written performed by me
+ thank you eve for mixing advice

frick north york
thank you for listening, i hope you enjoy <3

///
the more that I try, more that I hide
the more that I try, more that I hide

the past few months I felt like I would die
before I did anything that I loved, oh my
I'll stay strong
eighteen round the corner, how'd I (make it!)
this long
all the pressure makes my head hurt
give it time and it'll get better
and if you hate it well then, know I put in effort :/
I do my best, how dare you say that I don't
still get nervous when there's lumps in my throat

I'm aware no one said it'd be easy
spoke to the teller now everything's clear, see
it all
pretty girl
girl

and if I don't wake up
tell every single person I love
that I put all my heart in
I will be an artist
there'll be people that care and I'll build something honest

go!
don't hide
do you even know who you are?
go!
how'd you even call that shit art? (desideratum)
go back pull your hair out, restart

I can't focus well my darling
got a stutter when I'm talking
you broke the news as I was walking
news when I was promised

desideratum

James Fauntleroy - Fertilizer [2014 Free Download]

[MV] ELUPHANT( 대（      SimSim( Ъ떖 좊븣留  (Feat. SoYou( 뚯쑀) Of SISTAR( ⑥뒪 ))

Lyrics:

Lovemark, yeah love scars
can't go far with my heart
when you come in my car
all i do is go fast

but how long will it last
i still hang in the past
i still want what you have
am i all? do you care?
(do you care)

Hiding my pain
there's poison in my veins
going insane
the lack of You is driving me crazy

don't know what i'm saying
there's nothing there that you're saving
and you know that i'm praying 
i can't feel the rain

Pop another "X" pill
always aim for the kill
i don't know what i feel
am i dreaming or real?

Up for you to decide
am i dead or alive?
wanna come for the ride?
i little pain on the side

Lovemark, yeah love scars
can't go far with my heart
when you come in my car
all i do is go fast

but how long will it last
i still hang in the past
i still want what you have
am i all? do you care?

I still really want what we both had
writing all our stories in my note pad
had you in my sights but i missed it
i'm an odd number i'm a misfit

I wan't some real friends that don't stab my back
getting sick of fakes and the heart attacks
my life, always filled with hurt
why do i always get what i don't deserve

i've been acting up on my mood swings
aint feeling shit no toothaches
you're my weakness like fruitcake
i might dip this place to a new state

keep on eating fast food it feels like i'm starving
lately i've been messed up, I don't feel my heart beat
you said i don't try but try, my heart
left an indent like a sharkbite mark

when you coming back? 
'cause i need you
slowly i'm desolving
like i'm see through

Lovemark, yeah love scars
can't go far with my heart
when you come in my car
all i do is go fast

but how long will it last
i still hang in the past
i still want what you have
am i all? do you care?

Lovemark (feat. Powfu)

Nice lil song 2 start off your February :)
Ty to @jimmydagum for his vocals and  @recyclexbin for the beat!
Mixed & Mastered by me

My IG: https://www.instagram.com/hidingthehurt._/
My Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1ZEMLFeC3e4J8Y9exK3dKp?si=u887QpU3TJ-iS1EQZjhZLA
My Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_oLYjSSrRP3yqqQsXUDO4Q

lyrics below:
(st jimmy)
meet me at the station, I know
meet me in the car at the back of the road
I don't wanna fold but u making me think twice
so we can watch the sunrise and let it unfold

shoutout my exes
im sick of texting 
u grab my mind and u twist and infect it

u apply pressure
I stand by and let shit
stir in my head and it gets all infested

(hidingthehurt)
meet at the station
meet at the road
my heart is empty 
hers made of gold

I really love her
she is the one
bet you ill take all that back in a month

ooh ooh oh
ooh ooh oh 
I think people know when she's wearing all my clothes
that were together
that we are happy 
just a facade 
hope my music is catchy yeah yeah

out my hometown I really wanna move
to my haters I really wanna prove 
but your love I dont ever wanna lose
sad forever this aint the sunday blues

(st jimmy)
meet me at the station, I know
meet me in the car at the back of the road
I don't wanna fold but u making me think twice
so we can watch the sunrise and let it unfold

shoutout my exes
im sick of texting 
u grab my mind and u twist and infect it

u apply pressure
I stand by and let shit
stir in my head and it gets all infested

The Station

The Station w/ st jimmy (recycleBin)

@jaydes
@lei
@1yr
@gostupidcj
@venexxi
@ninetyniiine