Question: Female Age 23. 

I have a huge problem, 

I have been married to my husband for almost 4 years, but it seems like all we do is argue. I usually get mad about small things and it will cause a huge fight and we say hurtful things. I don't know what to do or why I get mad so easily. I love my husband very much and I believe with all my heart he loves me but I am afraid that all the arguing is starting to take its toll on our relationship. I don't want to lose him.  I just don't know why I get angry so easily. How can I change that?

Angellica Waters Advice: Living in a constant state of conflict is not good for anyone, let alone for a relationship. 

Eventually your arguments will cause marriage problems if they have not already. Try thinking of it from your husband's perspective. Would you want for him to always react with anger towards you? Would you enjoy living in a house where your spouse was angry all of the time? I don't think anyone would enjoy that, even if they did love their spouse very much. 

Eventually it would get to be too much and they would have to get out of the situation. This is and will be a deal breaker in any relationship. 

Because of this, you really have to find out why you are so angry and do something about the way you are handling your anger. 

First try to figure out why you are angry in general. Have you always been this way? Is it just that you don't know how to react any other way or is it a more recent issue? The good news if it's more recent is that the habits you have now in regard to dealing with your anger will be broken more easily if you try very hard to do so. 

Try not to react immediately or talk with your husband when you are feeling angry. If you are in the same room as your husband, tell him you love him, but you need a few moments to collect yourself and calm down before talking with him and then leave the room. 

While in another room, take a seat, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Try to calm down first. Then think about what is making you angry and figure out why it's making you so angry. If it's just a small thing, then you are giving something insignificant power over your emotions. Why would you want to give anything or anyone so much power over you?

You are a strong person and you can control how you feel. Try to think of a solution to the problem that is making you angry. You are strong and in control, you can handle it! 
After doing this, try to think of something positive to counteract the negative feelings. 

Think of the sweet and wonderful things your husband/family do for you or say to you. 
Once you feel calm and can speak to your husband in a loving and kind way, go talk to him about the issue that you are having (if it is with him) and always keep in mind that the next argument you instigate could be the one that pushes him away and ends your marriage and that is the last thing you want. Treat him with love and respect and always try to communicate with him only when the anger has left you and you can do so with love and respect. 

Life should be joyful and marriage should be something that makes both you and your husband happy. Do something nice for him, do something nice for you as well and even when you don't feel like smiling, do it anyway while thinking of the sweetest things in your life, because even if you are not happy, you are powerful enough to change your emotions and make yourself happy. A positive attitude is one of the most attractive qualities someone can have and the easiest way to change your quality of life.

You have complete control over your life, your happiness and your emotions. If something doesn't make you happy, change your attitude and change what isn't making you happy. Having a positive attitude is essential and the more positivity you have the more positivity you will attract.

Testimonial for this advice: Thanks so much Angellica, what you said really made a lot of sense. 
I think I started being angry as a child because I was abused by a family member, then I was used by guys in my teens.
I think I just have anger toward men in general because of what has happened but I think what you said will help! 

Angellica Waters - Relationship Love Dating Advice - Anger Issues Over Things He Does

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Angellica Waters - Relationship Love Dating Advice - Anger Issues Over Things He Does

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