Derek Savage:
I’ve heard lies saying you tower over me, which I don’t see
So today I’m going to show our differences, I mean, just look at me:
You’re just an author; I’m an actor, director and a cool guy
Make like a child from a ‘no breathing’ class, just keel over and die
Wouldn’t You Like to Know how your creativity’s gone down the spout?
You were a good presenter, but now your career’s unable to Sprout
I Hate Everything about you, and although I don’t like him, I gotta say
If he reviewed your crappy performances, he’d be giving me praise
This bitch could use some Self-Defense, can’t survive my Second Coming
No wonder the BBC kicked you out, all your work’s dull and boring
You’ve a whole book on sins you’ve committed, your flaws are quite large
I mean, you did want an anti-imperialist Marxist to be in charge

Michael Rosen:
Thought he’d sit there like a lemon, but Derek. What does Derek do?
He spits rhymes showing he’s less of a Cool Guy, more of a Fool
Diss the Milk And Sugar King, and you’ll get more than heat
At least I can go without throwing a fit when people make fun of me
Promoting x-rated work on your own website is far from Christian 
And with all of the illegal stuff you’ve done, you’d fit right in with school prison
Could write an entire poem detailing how Horrible you are
But you’d probably Copyright Strike me before I get the chance
Recycled footage, bad editing, portraying fat people as broke schmucks
Topped off with phoned in performances; to put it bluntly, Your Movies Suck!
No longer taken seriously, even the cameraman’s out shadowing you 
I see you’re looking shaky and sorry, gonna cut out this cameo too?

Cool Cat:
You’re really really mean! Seems some kid still thinks bullying is fun
Everyone should stay away from you like you were a deadly gun

Derek Savage:
You rapped once, so what? That doesn’t make you an emcee
Better call you the toothbrush, cause we’ll break you into pieces

Cool Cat:
Bringing Sweeter Revenge than some muddy twig could ever do (haha!)

Derek Savage:
I’m bad with copyright? You almost took down every YouTube Poop of you!

Cool Cat:
While your new books are flopping, me and my Dad will go to Hollywood

Both:
Now it’s time to ‘close up’ this battle so you can make another Sad Book

Michael Rosen:
(Michael’s Verse, Part 2.)
You and this failed mascot must be having a Crazy Dream
I’d argue Solomon would do better than this infringement on Warner Bros’ property
Once you eat this diss like a sandwich, I shall give you to the ducks!
Might as well make another channel called “iMovie Sucks”
Now your son passed away, and I know the pain of losing a child
But using him as an excuse for stupidity? Now that makes me really wild
Like when you impersonated that law firm, your attempts to win have fallen through
So now I don’t suppose you’ll want to battle me again, will you?

[REDACTED] as Derek Savage
@user-938839005 as Cool Cat
King Mewtwo as Michael Rosen
Beat by Kustom
Written by King Mewtwo and Dani Frias
Mixed by Light
Cover Art by Fightmarker

Michael Rosen vs Derek Savage. King Mewtwo Rap Battles

Freshy Kanal as Doctor Eggman
Adam as Mojo Jojo

Eggman
They’re making me fight this simian? I wanna beat Winston!
But focus on your diction, your bouts of repetition
My series reboots werent as much of a let down
Chim-pansy’s more of a Blossom? That checks out!
Hey Mo-jo, your brain’s ex-posed!
I can see how small it is when I’m up close!
It proves you’re under me in IQ and when I’m through
You’ll just wish for the Sonic Forces to be with you

Mojo Jojo
Mojo will be the victor, the winner will be me!
All those machines yet animals still leave you beat?
The city of Townsville’s all aware of my fame
Half the time I don’t know if I’m calling you the right name
You're playing Chaos Bejeweled while I'm polishing my verses
Flip the script tomake you the one screaming “CURSES!”
Useless twitter announcements? By now I should expect it 
I'm already used to frying eggs like you for breakfast!

Battle Bytes

Doctor Eggman vs Mojo Jojo. Battle Bytes #29

Mancha as King Candy
Dusk as Phantom Virus

King Candy 
I’ve dismissed glitches before, this time I won’t be the one losing 
While you failed to be spooky, Snickering through your whole movie 
Leading with Zombie Island and then this is the kinda crap you do?
I'd rather throw hands with both Flim Flam and Scrappy Doo!
Slapdash mishaps at hiding Snax in boardwalk attractions
Is that repulsive laugh a stab to walk all your critic's reactions?
Inject and infect your game like I was your players’ PEDs
But I won’t strike out to Sword Art Online direct-to-DVD 

Virus
Let’s play ball! No rain delay but I’ll still keep it short
You could ask Cars and learn NASCAR’s barely even a real sport
Brush your teeth, your candy bars left you deteriorating
You can’t handle the Ruth that I’m Babe, you’re Baby
Aint too hard to rip off Candy Crush and Mario Kart
Went for Sweet Tooth but got sucrose and yet so far
You’ll get your just desserts when we unmask this hack
And I go Turbo to make sure both your kart and game crash

King Candy vs Phantom Virus. Battle Bytes #30

Mancha as Count Olaf
Hippie Rat as Pennywise

Count Olaf:
So you’re the being stalking the night,
Shifting form through the greatest frights?
I must say, that’s some pretty weak lore,
I’ve heard It occur several times before!
You claim to know exactly what makes my blood curdle,
At least I’m not scared of a giant space turtle!
I’ll severely damage you.
A phrase which here means “have Its ass handed to.”
Then by the time that the next generation
finds a way to get to knowing ya,
We've gone and lost the larger portion 
Of all the waning xenophobia
And as I Carrey this song you'll forfeit on account
of the unfortunate events brought on by the Count
So when the public fear that remains is down,
You can find me fine dining at The Anxious Clown

Pennywise:
I can't tell if that verse was supposed to be a joke
Mycelia, I've got a good one to make you choke!
What did the playwright say to the clown in the first act?
Sorry Olaf, but that's a rap! Wa-HA! 
People ask why the adults underwhelm
and refuse to give these kids some help
It's 'cause in your world, they're stupid
But in Derry's where they're scared as hell!
So who's that who's slippin while dissin' omnipotent
Villainous, Farcical, Dimwitted idots
stuck to being ambiguous like The Thing
It's the Count! It's the Count! He should kneel before the king!
You haven’t any Very Fire Diss in your arsenal,
I bring a whole new meaning to “Carnivorous Carnival.”
I can turn into the Wolfman, Mummy, Nosferatu,
You’re out shopping for a dollar store costume

Olaf:
Rooted in bitterness, horseradish horseshit
Reeks of the eighties, no matter how "in" It is
And I guess that’s why you were so easy to mess with,
I’ve seen Stranger Things trending on Netflix!
It thrusts Its fists! (Fists!) But It lands no hits! (Hits!)
Your story’s kitsch! (Kitsch!) And I’m not scared of It!
Look away, look away, I've no patience for games!
There’s a will, there’s a way! It will die today!

Pennywise:
You promise others their greatest desires, then
burn them with fire, you lie through your teeth
Think fear’s mediocre? The words of The Joker:
"Get a load of me!"
You're afraid of failure, your schemes losin' dominance
most of all of adults with a modicum of competence
Quake at the gaze of your formidible ghoul!
I may be a clown, but don't take me for a fool
You're no mastermind, just a minor annoyance
The leeches won't mind who they find most bouyant
Villain Flees Death, but by how it's wrote
in the prose that's not how the story goes

Count Olaf vs Pennywise. Battle Bytes #31

VinnyO as Light
Freshy Kanal as Eggman
Extra Instruments by VinnyO and Freshy Kanal
Mix by Freshy Kanal

Light:
Take a look at yourself - you're a rotten apple, both in and out you're just revolting
Building machines that instantly get destroyed - leaving Eggman nuts and bolting
I’m one for cancelling announcements, I see with no need for shinigami eyes that
For an Eggman with a so-called master plan, you're more of a walrus with a short lifespan
My plans fell into place like your rip-off of Tetris 
I'm a king, I’m a god, you're a schmuck, don't you get this?
You build bots since you're more friendless than Memphis 
I smite every chump whose name's writ on my checklist
Is it Ivo Robotnik, Kobintor, or Eggman? PICK ONE ALREADY! What the hell do I write?
Close your eyes, in the sequel it seems that you won’t be seeing the Light
  
Eggman:
Snooping as usual ? You fool! You will never know my name!
You’re only a god of the Lost World, but I’ve Advanced on the track, so this is no game
Your pad and pen tricked you to demonize, 
and you’re left obsessed with your demon eyes
Live action films were your deemed demise 
But they franchised mine as my dreams arised
How blinded have you gotten--it’s clear your shinigami is da foe
I thought that it would be clear only a psychopath would dare to use Light mode
Go run back to your Amy Rose, no queen can check this game to close
I have a -- Death Note to make: You have to grim reap what you sow!

Light Yagami vs Doctor Eggman. Battle Bytes #34

The two most popular peaceful games go head to head in this Central Rap Battle!

Written By: Vladimyr P. and Eric The Audible
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minecraft - Vladimyr P.
Animal Crossing - Eric The Audible
Mixed by: Vladimyr P. 
Beat: Kustom

LYRICS: 
Minecraft :
Taking you outta the wild, but this’ll get intense (in tents)
Need a totem or a potion for this gold I’ll dispense
Pushing pressure to the plate droppin’ rhymes from my hotbar
Only building homes, yeah homie you are not hard

You’ve been pandering to pansies, toddlers and their grannies
That Camp’s making a grand robbing every Nook and Cranny
I’m a classic, savage, ravager spitting illager
Dishing out this emerald to deal with another villager

We’ve got the ingenuity to broaden our horizons
Survive in an endless world, you’re confined to a tiny island
Imagination’s my build limit, thought you Switched the game up (well..)
Pick another save cause Nintendo’s lameness came up

All time best seller, that title ring any bell-ers,
Knock your block off to the Nether, got you falling - no feather (oooh)
Since 2011 our fame’s remained standing
It’s easy to fan this flame cause the game is enchanting

Minecraft : 
This battle’s a flint and steel, I’ll burn you down to sender, man
Had a good run, bud, but I will be your Enderman
Squash you like a bug in Mojang’s next patch
I got efficiency in giving lesser games the axe (thwack!)


I’m the TNT emcee, who blew up beyond PC

But kids hate your games P.E. more than they hate PE
I got this win in the bucket, 
well I wouldn’t be so sure, 
huh, Why not? 
Cause this beat’s about to Turnip

Animal Crossing :

While you’re researching, stressing out for resources 
I'm that water source, check this drip that I'm scoring 
You slave away on your builds, wasting the sun like
"What's the redstone tutorial for having some fun, guys?”

We’re copping fossils, players dig on my style
Just keep on building with cobble, and we can chill on my isle
Then you can squabble with players, fight and kill for the crown
I’ll be hangin’ with my neighbors and upgrading our town

Laying lazy on a sunday, relax in my villa
Minecraft is like a Ssundae; bland when vanilla
Just a mole digging holes, as you victimize your citizens
Thought your flow was molten, but you’re watered down: obsidian

Can't let that K.K. Slide, you spit those lame tunes 
We bested your cube game back when we had the gamecube
I would diss your story mode, but nobody played that
Your game is filled with creepers, peaceful mode can't escape that

Minecraft:
I’d be crafting recipes for your disaster
But your blathers on that rap verse did it faster
I get the appeal, sakurai must have as well
Only mission that you’re sticking with is smashing Isabelle

Animal Crossing:
Fans have tackled every cavern, yeah I wouldn’t want to be ‘em
Your charm is practically an artifact get back in the museum
The First Persson had a burden, left you burnin’ with your base
“Notch left to swim in money, then the game withered away”

Central Rap Battles: Minecraft vs. Animal Crossing

Mancha as Taako
Hippie Rat as Guy Fieri / Announcer

It’s time to Sizzle It Up on the quest to find the best Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! Wash your hands! Preheat your ovens! Rev up those fryers! It’s Taako vs Guy Fieri in...The Rap Battle Zone!

Guy Fieri:
The prophecy said you’d be saved, by the man who’s wreathed in flames,
But this is one Fiery Guy who won’t be doing the same!
I’m a burly sirloin, you’re built like a wet noodle
I advocate the working man, you’re more chaotic neutral.
So here's a Plane of Thought you can season with Worst-erch-ire
Alice Through the Frying Pan; you fell into the fire
Can't even make your namesake, stuck with a d6 of health
Never thought I'd see you calling for Genji to heal yourself!
You went to Garfield, done paid for one case of the Mondays
Won an all-you-can eat plate for the whole Jimmy Buffet!
“The garlic really complements the arsenic,” they said.
And then they graded you a Z, or should I...say zed!

Taako:
Taako’s good out here! I think you’ll enjoy the view
Let me work my magic [beat] Abraca-fuck-you!
You’re barbaric and garish! My Guy, what are you wearing?
You look like Smash Mouth went and gone all Super Saiyan!
It’s tragic, your diss’ll miss, I spit accurate Magic Missiles
But when you erratically spit arrhythmatic, you’ll fizzle
Don’t try to chew me out like you’re snacking on slabs of gristle
It’s apparent on your shirt I turned my clapbacks up to “sizzle”
And so now I debase myself, appearing here amid this meme
Who’s loading up on carbohydrates like a Food Pyramid scheme
Drive-ins, Dives, and Diners?! Ha! I hardly know her!
Oh and, Guy, your Donkey Sauce tastes like Go-Gurt.

Guy Fieri:
The true worth of man are the values that they’re driven by.
I made a great tendie tienda, but you’re the true Chicken Guy!
You may think it's swell to get your Taco Loaded in hell
Bro, you sold your own soul out... Animus Taako Bell!
I would spit it like Minute to Win It, hit it and rip into your tunic
But I should limit this minigame skit before you’re squished by an air conditioning unit.
What’s your “Kiss the Cook” apron to the flame decals I’m rocking on?
For a token gay you’d think you’d get your token in the gashapon

Taako:
Fuck yeah, Guy’s Grocery Gay plays loud and proud, hombre! 
You serve me a plate, I’m rolling constitution saves!
While Taako conjures up a lunch like “I wanna munch!” (Squad!)
Even my Grand Relic is the tastiest of the bunch!
I’d say maybe Ren’s the only being that can outdo me,
But we’ll keep that between You, Me, AND DUPREE!!!
You and I got a date with Death -- like your food, we’re heart stopping!
Taako’s Supreme! Call me sour cream, cuz I’m topping!

The Rap Battle Zone

Taako vs Guy Fieri. The Rap Battle Zone #1

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wDrBfxrK-k4o0ziJW2EAolhCJu9Wgilx1_utOxrJKUg/edit
Eric the Audible as TV Man
MetaMachine as Florida Man
Written by MetaMachine
Mixed by Dani Frias
Beat by Kustom
Thumbnail and art by underscores
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Green Underdogs"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

TV Man vs. Florida Man

FyxFynn as Tomura Shigaraki 
Malina Rose as Cinder Fall

Shigaraki (0:14):
I’ll be the one to make Fall fall, the world’s at the tip of my hands and you’re
A moody little karen out on a quest to speak with Salem’s manager
Don’t need a scythe to break you like your trust
I'm not the first villain to leave you cucked
Even your fanbase agrees that you sucked
Up until Volume 4 when you finally shut up!
Topping Shigaraki? No child could stop me
My ideals speak volumes, you’re at the bottom, pleading
For a chance to make up for your crapfest in Atlas, you’ll always exist as a way to mock Disney
I haven’t seen a Stain as annoying as you since that damn blood lusting coward
‘Cept you? You’re just boring, with motives so basic they can be summed up with “Grrr, I want power”
Your faction is falling, I could do this later, no craters so I’ll do you like your creator
Potential is wasted, erased from the paper of this traitor who frightens me less than Eraser
I’ll slay her! her powers were Maiden China, no wonder she got clapped by a bird
Use that good eye well, the last thing it’ll see is my thumb; any last words?

Cinder (1:01):
You sure know how to use that quirk, all I heard were decayed bars in your whole verse
Sit back as I turn this track to ashes, I’ll laugh as you scratch your neck till it burns 
The lesser successor would be better off giving his power to me, don’t need two eyes to see it
You’re Torchwick minus the looks, even have the same destiny as him, I believe in it
Plots so idiotic, you’re mocking yourself, think Japan’s gonna fear you? Stop it!
You try to subside every hero and ended up becoming one for Hot Topic!
Pathetic, I’d make your league fall for fun. this battle’s All for One; and it’s Fall, not Tom
Your father pulled a Notre Dame on you, now you’d get killed by a stick of lip balm!
Pouty little incel, so desperate for attention you constantly play pretend
Destroyed a whole city, everybody still looked at you and just said “..who are you again?”
You’ll meet a fate worse than the end of a knife, I’ll tell you how this’ll end; with you getting iced
Still think we’re playing games? Alright then, consider me the final boss. I just took your last life

Written by FyxFynn
Mixed by DeegleNV
Cover art by Fightmarker
Beat by 2Deep

(BONUS) Tomura Shigaraki vs Cinder Fall // Rap Battle

Oh yeah we going to space for this one
Mancha as Sinistar
King Mewtwo as Ego the Living Planet
Beat produced by Tristan on the Track
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Dani Frias 
Written by Trakked, Kamren, ColeDaCole and WDRB

Battle:

Sinistar:
Beware coward, this small villain will fall victim to my hunger 
I’ll throw Sini-bombs at this planetoid; lightyears asunder!
You better Run Run Run! Not even your Alter-Ego can stop me
For my Eternal power shall destroy this puny planet's Galaxy 
It’s a travesty that such a being couldn’t be a strong foe
Beat by a space pirate? That’s what I’d call a fragile Ego
You're a sick minded fraud, went out a Boomer like your status
Not even glitches could rebirth since you've already turned to ashes

Ego:
Tried to scare in the 80’s, yet even with that, computer,
You’re the “star” of a forgotten game; an unoriginal space shooter
If a spacecraft can beat you, then you’ll revel to my power,
Decimated into decimals, never played beyond an hour

Sinistar:
Beware, I live!; And you claim my game is infamous?
I may be the metal boss, but you’re sure picking up rust!
I’ll bust into your core, before you dare fathom to wreck this,
How come you try to take risks when I eat planets for breakfast? 

Ego:
You're just an underpowered entity, a frail-minded Galactus
So I'll trash this scrap metal; I could destroy you with magnets!
Barely shoddy, with my Anti-Bodies swarming 'round this virus,
Deleting all weak-shelled copies of this pathetic bot who’s mindless
Your claim to fame's only a game, while my legacy evolves
No glitches can save you, watch you while all of your lives dissolve
A win trapped in Imaginationland; this pathetic feud is over
And it concludes with me having this star meet a supernova

Sinistar vs Ego - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #12

Welcome, weary travelers, to the first installment of Ciphers Of The Unknown. Today we have two anomalies of the Minecraft universe going pixel-to-pixel in this rap battle. Who won? Who's next? Well, I guess you'll find out in the next Ciphers Of The Unknown!

Production:
Raichous as Herobrine
Snakebite126 as Shitass


Cover Art by Michael Stark
Written by: Michael Stark
With additional help from: MetaMachine, GamingPlush64, and SimplyRazzy
Beat produced by Tristan
Mixed by GamingPlush64

LYRICS:
ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Ciphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Herobrine
Versus
Shitass
Commence!

Herobrine (0:13 - 0:53):
Stepping from the sHadows, Herobrine has come to spit a rhyme
Just step to my shrine, and then you’ll find who is STILL in their prime
It’s time to speedrun this verse, please tell me, I’m baffled:
Hey Shitass... wanna see how a true cryptid rap battle’s?
Coming out of the mineshafts, you’re bound to die fast; come at me, you’ll end up worse and
You can check the signs that I’m fully fledged out while you look like you’re stuck in the first draft
So just go to your corner and whine, brat; you’re just a shitty memE with a smile cracked
While, bitch, I’ll give you a mind blast; I’m ownin’ the game, call it Brine-craft!
Herobrine! Just hearing my name makes players piss their pants!
Your gimmick’s only played for laughs, you’re just an insignificant ant
Just peer amidst the trees, you’ll find my pyramids with ease
I’ll be jammin’ to disc 11 with all my victims BOWING on their knees

Shitass (0:53 - 1:21):
Was that your whole verse? Man, that was the worst
You’re about to end up like your stupid memes... heckin’ cursed
You just teleport like the Enderman, a copy of a copy
My powers you can’t comprehend,  I make your cheesy shit look sloppy
You call yourself scary? Well, Error 404, this Entity’s not found
Stick your victory in your 2x2’s, in the catacombs buried deep underground
This bug’s gettin’ patched out, no more child-like schemes
Just Look through all my videos, you’ll see I’m the expert at crushing Dreams

Herobrine (1:21 - 1:48):
I’m the sole reason you even stand (stand), I’m trapping your soul in the sand (sand)
You’re digging a hole straight through the ground with how shittily your disses land (land)
You’re delusional, you don’t bed-rock, I’m putting you in a deadlock
Capture ya, body ya, disPerse your pixels, and outline you with red chalk
You could never amount to my fame, even your name proves you’ve got no class
Just look at ya: shit design, zero lore, and not to mention rhymes that’re absolute ass
Don't bother to try and come back, your fame ended with TikTok, didn’t you know?
(Laughs) There’s no Surviving this Hardcore Mode

Shitass (1:48 - 2:28):
You’re tunneling for disses, but still ended up empty-handed (Ooh!)
The true Unsolved Mystery is how you survived when your relevance crash-landed (Ha!)
Now it’s time for my Meat harvest, turning you into a carcass
Tried to amount to the creator’s brother, but it seems you missed the Mark-us
You need to update your rhymes old man, because those lines were dated as hell
You’re stuck in an open beta, clickbaiting children, anyone can tell
I’ll post your defeat online, get that clout, with these Reddit Gold-en Apple bars
You may have started a horror genre, but I’m the one shootin’ for the stars
Can’t remove my blocks, “Hero-whine”, so why you gotta griEve, man?
When all it takes is two pixels and boom! You’re back to Steve! (Damn!)
You may have started off as a joke, but now I’m the one who’s laughin’
Now without you in the picture, it’ll be my win they’ll be photographin’

ANNOUNCER
Who won this blocky battle?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Ciphers of The Unknown

Doctor Eggman vs Mojo Jojo. Battle Bytes #29

Battle Bytes | UBERocity