Thinkin'

Hey everyone! We are back with a long awaited rap battle that I've been hinting at for ages. Today we have space smuggler and pilot of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo, against the first man to set foot on another celestial body, Neil Armstrong. Enjoy!

CAST
Zawesome as Han Solo
Mancala as Neil Armstrong

LYRICS:
Han:
I’ve got a bad feeling about your attempt, like the ninth
I’ll tell you the odds: week-lings need not apply
Your twin missions were a bust, like the Cloud City raid
I won’t take it from a guy who wore a tampon to space
You’re a bigger hunk of junk than my transport for fleeing
Hell, even Jabba’s a more decent human being
While the glorified photographer’s here to do his worst
The fans deserve to know that Han shot first

Neil:
Houston, we have a problem, and it sucks quite violently
Flash Gordon got ripped off and took up vacuum piracy
You’re on needles and pins trying to thread that space cruiser
Looks like you need some schooling; let me show you my maneuvers
Gals complain of sub-parsecs with your rocky relations
Because you’re looking for love in Alderaan places
I’ll have you whipped into shape and you’ll scream bloody murder
You stuck up, half-witted, bad-at-rapping Nerf-herder!

Han:
You should be more concerned about landing that Stormtrooper credo
Don’t Leia hand on me, or you’ll end up like Greedo
You’re on MY stomping ground, so your plan is getting soiled
You’ll need another round of quarantine after we’ve been embroiled
Hop back to the door, so you can let the other boys out
Slap that patch on your sash like an old, faded Boy Scout
You’re the First Man to make a space flick without life
Go climb your launch tower and take a giant leap for mankind

Neil:
Ladies and gentlemen, the rapper has landed!
And like a game of sabacc, man, your ass is getting handed
‘Cause your style, like the atmosphere around me, is quite thin
Just calm down, hon; take it on the chin
Your rhymes can’t be more wooden if you were still a carpenter
You’ll be flagged as a doormat by this driven orbiter
I’ll cut out, ‘cause the middle man, best pilot in the galaxy
Tried to give me the shaft; guess it runs in the family

Beat By: Epistra
Mixed By: Freshy Kanal
Cover By: Commander Jacob
Art By: Cyancoat Enzo

Han Solo Vs Neil Armstrong| GridLine Rap Battles Season 2

LYRICS 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IFxWiWDrXj3XxGluxvStjCPF8Z-rqinNu9JTOK-NYsU/edit?usp=sharing

CREDITS

Vladimyr P. as Red
https://soundcloud.com/vladimyr-p
Lexi M. as Charizard
https://soundcloud.com/user-650786333-593076861
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZUTOJL1qAbDorCjlhGYQ
Light as Venasaur
https://soundcloud.com/ducky808
Raichous as Blastoise
https://soundcloud.com/kingraichous

Rabi As Kris
garbageGothic as Susie
https://soundcloud.com/garbagegothic
Tuna as Ralsei
https://soundcloud.com/tunattic
GamingPlush64 as Lancer
https://soundcloud.com/gamingplush64
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWX7jJ5lodM_poQuXMTqjQ

Written by Rabi, B O R K, & GamingPlush64
https://soundcloud.com/borkrulesok
Mixed by Light
Beat by Dansonn
Thumbnail by Rabi

Red vs. Kris - Rap Battle

Derek Savage:
I’ve heard lies saying you tower over me, which I don’t see
So today I’m going to show our differences, I mean, just look at me:
You’re just an author; I’m an actor, director and a cool guy
Make like a child from a ‘no breathing’ class, just keel over and die
Wouldn’t You Like to Know how your creativity’s gone down the spout?
You were a good presenter, but now your career’s unable to Sprout
I Hate Everything about you, and although I don’t like him, I gotta say
If he reviewed your crappy performances, he’d be giving me praise
This bitch could use some Self-Defense, can’t survive my Second Coming
No wonder the BBC kicked you out, all your work’s dull and boring
You’ve a whole book on sins you’ve committed, your flaws are quite large
I mean, you did want an anti-imperialist Marxist to be in charge

Michael Rosen:
Thought he’d sit there like a lemon, but Derek. What does Derek do?
He spits rhymes showing he’s less of a Cool Guy, more of a Fool
Diss the Milk And Sugar King, and you’ll get more than heat
At least I can go without throwing a fit when people make fun of me
Promoting x-rated work on your own website is far from Christian 
And with all of the illegal stuff you’ve done, you’d fit right in with school prison
Could write an entire poem detailing how Horrible you are
But you’d probably Copyright Strike me before I get the chance
Recycled footage, bad editing, portraying fat people as broke schmucks
Topped off with phoned in performances; to put it bluntly, Your Movies Suck!
No longer taken seriously, even the cameraman’s out shadowing you 
I see you’re looking shaky and sorry, gonna cut out this cameo too?

Cool Cat:
You’re really really mean! Seems some kid still thinks bullying is fun
Everyone should stay away from you like you were a deadly gun

Derek Savage:
You rapped once, so what? That doesn’t make you an emcee
Better call you the toothbrush, cause we’ll break you into pieces

Cool Cat:
Bringing Sweeter Revenge than some muddy twig could ever do (haha!)

Derek Savage:
I’m bad with copyright? You almost took down every YouTube Poop of you!

Cool Cat:
While your new books are flopping, me and my Dad will go to Hollywood

Both:
Now it’s time to ‘close up’ this battle so you can make another Sad Book

Michael Rosen:
(Michael’s Verse, Part 2.)
You and this failed mascot must be having a Crazy Dream
I’d argue Solomon would do better than this infringement on Warner Bros’ property
Once you eat this diss like a sandwich, I shall give you to the ducks!
Might as well make another channel called “iMovie Sucks”
Now your son passed away, and I know the pain of losing a child
But using him as an excuse for stupidity? Now that makes me really wild
Like when you impersonated that law firm, your attempts to win have fallen through
So now I don’t suppose you’ll want to battle me again, will you?

[REDACTED] as Derek Savage
@user-938839005 as Cool Cat
King Mewtwo as Michael Rosen
Beat by Kustom
Written by King Mewtwo and Dani Frias
Mixed by Light
Cover Art by Fightmarker

Michael Rosen vs Derek Savage. King Mewtwo Rap Battles

Freshy Kanal as Doctor Eggman
Adam as Mojo Jojo

Eggman
They’re making me fight this simian? I wanna beat Winston!
But focus on your diction, your bouts of repetition
My series reboots werent as much of a let down
Chim-pansy’s more of a Blossom? That checks out!
Hey Mo-jo, your brain’s ex-posed!
I can see how small it is when I’m up close!
It proves you’re under me in IQ and when I’m through
You’ll just wish for the Sonic Forces to be with you

Mojo Jojo
Mojo will be the victor, the winner will be me!
All those machines yet animals still leave you beat?
The city of Townsville’s all aware of my fame
Half the time I don’t know if I’m calling you the right name
You're playing Chaos Bejeweled while I'm polishing my verses
Flip the script tomake you the one screaming “CURSES!”
Useless twitter announcements? By now I should expect it 
I'm already used to frying eggs like you for breakfast!

Battle Bytes

Doctor Eggman vs Mojo Jojo. Battle Bytes #29

Mancha as King Candy
Dusk as Phantom Virus

King Candy 
I’ve dismissed glitches before, this time I won’t be the one losing 
While you failed to be spooky, Snickering through your whole movie 
Leading with Zombie Island and then this is the kinda crap you do?
I'd rather throw hands with both Flim Flam and Scrappy Doo!
Slapdash mishaps at hiding Snax in boardwalk attractions
Is that repulsive laugh a stab to walk all your critic's reactions?
Inject and infect your game like I was your players’ PEDs
But I won’t strike out to Sword Art Online direct-to-DVD 

Virus
Let’s play ball! No rain delay but I’ll still keep it short
You could ask Cars and learn NASCAR’s barely even a real sport
Brush your teeth, your candy bars left you deteriorating
You can’t handle the Ruth that I’m Babe, you’re Baby
Aint too hard to rip off Candy Crush and Mario Kart
Went for Sweet Tooth but got sucrose and yet so far
You’ll get your just desserts when we unmask this hack
And I go Turbo to make sure both your kart and game crash

King Candy vs Phantom Virus. Battle Bytes #30

Mancha as Count Olaf
Hippie Rat as Pennywise

Count Olaf:
So you’re the being stalking the night,
Shifting form through the greatest frights?
I must say, that’s some pretty weak lore,
I’ve heard It occur several times before!
You claim to know exactly what makes my blood curdle,
At least I’m not scared of a giant space turtle!
I’ll severely damage you.
A phrase which here means “have Its ass handed to.”
Then by the time that the next generation
finds a way to get to knowing ya,
We've gone and lost the larger portion 
Of all the waning xenophobia
And as I Carrey this song you'll forfeit on account
of the unfortunate events brought on by the Count
So when the public fear that remains is down,
You can find me fine dining at The Anxious Clown

Pennywise:
I can't tell if that verse was supposed to be a joke
Mycelia, I've got a good one to make you choke!
What did the playwright say to the clown in the first act?
Sorry Olaf, but that's a rap! Wa-HA! 
People ask why the adults underwhelm
and refuse to give these kids some help
It's 'cause in your world, they're stupid
But in Derry's where they're scared as hell!
So who's that who's slippin while dissin' omnipotent
Villainous, Farcical, Dimwitted idots
stuck to being ambiguous like The Thing
It's the Count! It's the Count! He should kneel before the king!
You haven’t any Very Fire Diss in your arsenal,
I bring a whole new meaning to “Carnivorous Carnival.”
I can turn into the Wolfman, Mummy, Nosferatu,
You’re out shopping for a dollar store costume

Olaf:
Rooted in bitterness, horseradish horseshit
Reeks of the eighties, no matter how "in" It is
And I guess that’s why you were so easy to mess with,
I’ve seen Stranger Things trending on Netflix!
It thrusts Its fists! (Fists!) But It lands no hits! (Hits!)
Your story’s kitsch! (Kitsch!) And I’m not scared of It!
Look away, look away, I've no patience for games!
There’s a will, there’s a way! It will die today!

Pennywise:
You promise others their greatest desires, then
burn them with fire, you lie through your teeth
Think fear’s mediocre? The words of The Joker:
"Get a load of me!"
You're afraid of failure, your schemes losin' dominance
most of all of adults with a modicum of competence
Quake at the gaze of your formidible ghoul!
I may be a clown, but don't take me for a fool
You're no mastermind, just a minor annoyance
The leeches won't mind who they find most bouyant
Villain Flees Death, but by how it's wrote
in the prose that's not how the story goes

Count Olaf vs Pennywise. Battle Bytes #31

Mancha as Phantom Virus
Titanium1208 as King Ghidorah

Virus:
Silence! Grab three face masks before you catch this virus
Your interest ran out of mileage, ditch the dumb head, that’s my pitch!
I’m just vibin’, here to conquer, but your franchise lets me prosper
Cuz it just takes a Verse to Destroy All Monsters!
I step up to the plate respected 
Can’t wash your hands; you’ll get infected
If the lines you spit from the trifecta of heads
Is expected I’d rather just end up ejected
Got no crown, you're no King, Ghidorah
Your only love’s from neckbeards in fedoras
Get your origin straight or you’ll meet your fate
I bring the hertz with my shocking aura

Ghidorah:
Keep your distance! Though I’m vicious you’re rasping like you’re Trojan hoarse!
I Inspect electric Elements to destroy code from its source
You’re jacking up on cheat codes desperate for a chance to surpass, so
I guess this battle’s Astro-Monster versus Houston Astros!
Confined inside a floppy disk, your work never saw the light of day
Charge the mound all you want, you’re only good enough for Single A 
You struck out with your game and friends you know you’ve got no chance sir
Prancing around magnets so often you’re just a pole dancer

Phantom Virus vs King Ghidorah. Battle Bytes #35

LYRICS

Bill Cipher:
(...Woah, now, lemme just cut you off there)
I thought Battle Bytes ended this, why am I back here, producer?!
I see why SoundCloud makers suck; you made me versus THIS loser!
So I’ll leave you trashed and replaced like my bout with Freddy
But I guess you’d be used to that, just checkin’ out your dev team!
I mean, lookin' at these lyrics, and reading your dialogue,
for the con sub of Subcon, you're no arsonist with fire logs!
But I'm used to smokin' pine trees! Conjure your best lines, please
‘Cuz I’ll give ‘ya two and a half minutes ‘fore your soul is mine, G!
I'm an icon! You're sold for nostalgia, the classics!
You’ve got kids kicking your ass, hctib! I could even slash Hat Kid!
Your schtick is sick -- a twisted rapper ripped from Twilight Zone
Turn Thousand Year Door chests to stone and place them atop my highest throne!

Snatcher:
FOOL! Activated my trap card-
Leave you paved in the graveyard, if you wanna throw wack bars
But we’ve got a deal to seal -- just sign now and you’ll find
that you haven’t paid the price and whoop! Your soul’s mine!
Awww, you can break the fourth wall, too?
...is that all, dude? Hit me up when those jokes grow overused
then I’ll freeze you in your tracks if you wanna test the best, ‘cuz
after this, you’ll end like Queen Vanessa!
And while you’re messing around in mindscapes
I’m dealin’ in the courtyard, raking high stakes
You make time breaks, but on my watch, you’d best read the fine print
Either sign the line, kid or be left lifeless!

Bill Cipher:
Booooriiiiiiing! That filler wasn't even worth the wait
Who would expect less from a slurry Jade role, in hindsight?
I mean, I'd be a hermit too if I had THAT kind of face
But it'd look better inside; let's take a look in your mind’s plight!
...Wooooaaaah, dude, I've got a really stupid end!
My own wife murdered me just 'cause I spoke to some lady friend!
Now I cry alone in the woods, useless, without peers,
'cause the only ones who ever cared about me have been dead for years!

Snatcher:
...Did you just try to possess me during your own verse?!
God, even your cliché powers have grown worse...
Mocking my death? Right, remind me how you came to "win."
Oh yes! You got screwed by the Mr. Krabs twins!
You really ARE a fool! And I thought *I* was the trickster!
But Gravity's drop won't be PG! Drop a warning for these tri-ggers!
And to mock my forest? It's no secret that you're Tourist
-Trapped in Oregon's organs, reignin' foggier than Portland
I know you don't mean to bore us, but you do with every chorus
'Cuz while I'm spittin' up torrents, you're just spewin' like the Toilet!

Bill Cipher:
I'm trying to search for literally just ONE decent rap
But it's invisible! ...What, do I need a Dweller Mask?!
I'd love to shake on it, but I don't want 'ya on my palm, you're
stretchy, purple, slimy? You're just the snot behind the slaughter! 
Ghoul's EXACTLY What He Seems, flat like his form in the first run
You steal souls and beats from Dustin? I storm REALITIES for fun!

Snatcher:
You can tri from any angle, but it just comes out scalene
When against a-cute Euclid-ian, I'm more Keter in scaling
the worst Bill since Clinton, but I know how to make this fight fair:
Welcome to this lucid dream, pet; have fun in eternal nightma-

CREDITS

ENNWAY As Bill Cipher
https://soundcloud.com/indiegamerapbattles
Nekomancer Jade as Snatcher
https://soundcloud.com/neko-nekomancer

Beat by Kustom
Demo by Nekomancer Jade
Written by Rabi and Nekomancer Jade
Mixed by DeegleNV
https://soundcloud.com/deeglenv
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby and KCToons
https://www.youtube.com/c/KyleCelezte1350/about
https://soundcloud.com/user-465943028

Bill Cipher vs. Snatcher - Rap Battle

Mancha as Taako
Hippie Rat as Guy Fieri / Announcer

It’s time to Sizzle It Up on the quest to find the best Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives! Wash your hands! Preheat your ovens! Rev up those fryers! It’s Taako vs Guy Fieri in...The Rap Battle Zone!

Guy Fieri:
The prophecy said you’d be saved, by the man who’s wreathed in flames,
But this is one Fiery Guy who won’t be doing the same!
I’m a burly sirloin, you’re built like a wet noodle
I advocate the working man, you’re more chaotic neutral.
So here's a Plane of Thought you can season with Worst-erch-ire
Alice Through the Frying Pan; you fell into the fire
Can't even make your namesake, stuck with a d6 of health
Never thought I'd see you calling for Genji to heal yourself!
You went to Garfield, done paid for one case of the Mondays
Won an all-you-can eat plate for the whole Jimmy Buffet!
“The garlic really complements the arsenic,” they said.
And then they graded you a Z, or should I...say zed!

Taako:
Taako’s good out here! I think you’ll enjoy the view
Let me work my magic [beat] Abraca-fuck-you!
You’re barbaric and garish! My Guy, what are you wearing?
You look like Smash Mouth went and gone all Super Saiyan!
It’s tragic, your diss’ll miss, I spit accurate Magic Missiles
But when you erratically spit arrhythmatic, you’ll fizzle
Don’t try to chew me out like you’re snacking on slabs of gristle
It’s apparent on your shirt I turned my clapbacks up to “sizzle”
And so now I debase myself, appearing here amid this meme
Who’s loading up on carbohydrates like a Food Pyramid scheme
Drive-ins, Dives, and Diners?! Ha! I hardly know her!
Oh and, Guy, your Donkey Sauce tastes like Go-Gurt.

Guy Fieri:
The true worth of man are the values that they’re driven by.
I made a great tendie tienda, but you’re the true Chicken Guy!
You may think it's swell to get your Taco Loaded in hell
Bro, you sold your own soul out... Animus Taako Bell!
I would spit it like Minute to Win It, hit it and rip into your tunic
But I should limit this minigame skit before you’re squished by an air conditioning unit.
What’s your “Kiss the Cook” apron to the flame decals I’m rocking on?
For a token gay you’d think you’d get your token in the gashapon

Taako:
Fuck yeah, Guy’s Grocery Gay plays loud and proud, hombre! 
You serve me a plate, I’m rolling constitution saves!
While Taako conjures up a lunch like “I wanna munch!” (Squad!)
Even my Grand Relic is the tastiest of the bunch!
I’d say maybe Ren’s the only being that can outdo me,
But we’ll keep that between You, Me, AND DUPREE!!!
You and I got a date with Death -- like your food, we’re heart stopping!
Taako’s Supreme! Call me sour cream, cuz I’m topping!

The Rap Battle Zone

Taako vs Guy Fieri. The Rap Battle Zone #1

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wDrBfxrK-k4o0ziJW2EAolhCJu9Wgilx1_utOxrJKUg/edit
Eric the Audible as TV Man
MetaMachine as Florida Man
Written by MetaMachine
Mixed by Dani Frias
Beat by Kustom
Thumbnail and art by underscores
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Green Underdogs"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

Doctor Eggman vs Mojo Jojo. Battle Bytes #29

Battle Bytes | UBERocity