dpressed nghts rn

broken and beating my head

produced by @killedmyself

cold autumn // dead winter

four fifteen

beautiful love song <3 (written by fishy tha god)

u have my heart💕(prod. HK)

xxxtentacion - depression & obsession flip

ep is coming along, really taking my time on it. 

also thanks for 13k! here's a little something for you guys in the meantime <3

https://twitter.com/_vowlmusic

<a href='https://theartistunion.com/tracks/c2e86f'>download free</a>

on spotify

depression & obsession

produced by @anobodyreally

cover art by TrapSirC https://twitter.com/TrapSirC

lyrics:

alot of things make me fucking nervous
alot of things get me really scared
i do not fuck with like none of these people
im smelling the fake in the air

sneak bitches they fake and the phony
sneak disses bout me like they know me
u'd fuck me up if u knew bout the shit that i do
when ur girl call me lonely

i smoke a blunt now snoring
still fill a cup with the porridge
that would be problems for old me
i dont give a fuck now so lets get it going

i got the fade for like 40
vodka but chase is a 40
they talkin like damn i go hard
but frankly this party is boring

i smoke a blunt now snoring
still fill a cup with the porridge
bad bitch from new orleans
she call me daddy like maury

i aint a father no maury
but im gonna son u like morty
ur girl just told u she was sleeping 
but im in her house like im cory

i think yo girlie my mistress
she run the dome like a beep test
i let her grip it like viscous
she want me to spray like im windex

ruby stay hot like a furnace
all this success cause i earned it
this shit is not bout the earnings
its me excersizing my purpose

you know this
im focused
this beat i just hit and i owned this

the shadows
im cloaked in
allow the emotion to soak in

the words all
have meaning
think bout the shit that im screaming
even if you got to see it
it'd be such a reach to believe it

garbage
fucking garbage
i pick and destroy every target
sometimes i dont think im an artist 
most of my ideas come out sounding fucking garbage

garbage
fucking garbage
i pick and destroy every target
sometimes i dont think im an artist 
most of my ideas come out sounding fucking garbage

garbage
fucking garbage
i pick and destroy every target
sometimes i dont think im an artist 
most of my ideas come out sounding fucking garbage

alot of things make me fucking nervous
alot of things get me really scared
i do not fuck with like none of these people
im smelling the fake in the air

sneak bitches they fake and the phony
sneak disses bout me like they know me
u'd fuck me up if u knew bout the shit that i do
when ur girl call me lonely

i smoke a blunt now snoring
still fill a cup with the porridge
that would be problems for old me
i dont give a fuck now so lets get it going

so much garbage (prod. ʎpoqou)

prod. @blacklunged

these days waking up is getting hard now
i knock the jack back
i pick up what i put down
bad habits comin round like theyre ancient
its no surprise that im gunna need a rain check
not goin out like i dont make anymore plans
sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling fan
wait, whos your mans?
guess i forgot to ask that
you haunt my dreams, i can see you in my flashbacks
i fill my brain with whatever i can find
im self defeating
always wasting all my time
got a 9 to my head, but i swear im fine
im unattached from the little that i call mine

im unnatentive to these bitches like i go to class
reach for the holster, load it up, and then i cock back
up to my dome, running frantic like my last lap
fill the spaces with distractions
cuz you know im bouta snap
like the led on my pencil when i try and write
i smoke a blunt, then im sleepin for the whole night
i didnt answer cuz im busy talkin to the knife
throwin shade like we forgot about the sun light
sometimes its hard to fight back
wake up around noon
stuck in bed while i smoke the sack
black fingernails creeping down to your body
always fucking up like its way more than a hobby
fiendin for some love, so ill take what i can get
nothings ev-er enough, death would be the safest bet
got ashes on my clothes cuz everything about me’s gross
you said i always did the least but bitch i always do the most

people fade away like ghosts, i guess its for the better
loving at what cost? feel closer with the reaper
when i see her its like all time stops
cuz im asleep while the fucking rain drops

smoking packs while im alone
i write these songs and hate myself
this alcohol straight to my dome
and i dont pace myself
fuck a chaser
all i chase are these illusions 
happiness, a fallacy
ive come to the conclusion

these days waking up is getting hard now
i knock the jack back
i pick up what i put down
bad habits comin round like theyre ancient
its no surprise that im gunna need a rain check
i fill my brain with whatever i can find
im self defeating
always wasting all my time
got a 9 to my head, but i swear im fine
im unattached from the little that i call mine

Follow me <3

while the rain drops (prod. blacklunged)

beat prod. by Vessels & TMK Beats
guccihighwaters: https://soundcloud.com/guccihighwaters

______________________________________

I can't feel my face, think I've gone insane
I can't see the light since it always rains
I've been falling down, falling down baby
Gotta save me from this ghost town baby
I know you hate that I'm not sober
Take a shot to the face, I'm a soldier
If she gets closer I might just have to ghost her
If anything happens got my gun in the holster

I'm still alive. I haven't died
I'll be alright. Yeah, I'll be fine
'Cause I'm a soldier
Gucci already told yuh
Yeah, I'ma ghost her
Leave her with no closure

She don't love me no more
That's why my heart's gone cold
I might send her, in the mail, suicidal notes (yeah)
Try to drown my sorrow
Take another pill and I'll faze out 'till tomorrow

New day, new mistakes to be made
New day, new people to betray
New day, new horrors to be tamed
New day, just send me to the grave

I don't want to try, but they tell me that I'll be fine
I'ma drink away my life. Staying up until the sunrise
Popping shit I don't know the name of
Makes me feel all bubbly 'cause I'm empty on the inside

I can't feel my face, think I've gone insane
I can't see the light since it always rains
I've been falling down, falling down baby
Gotta save me from this ghost town baby
I know you hate that I'm not sober
Take a shot to the face, I'm a soldier
If she gets closer I might just have to ghost her
If anything happens got my gun in the holster

Spotify <3

i'm not sober w/ guccihighwaters (prod. Vessels & TMK Beats)

beat prod. by Yusei
guccihighwaters: https://soundcloud.com/guccihighwaters
_________________________________________
I know I hurt you and I'm sorry
Can't control myself, it makes me worried
All this shit you do for me
 I really don't deserve it
I want to see you happy
Before I just see the hearse bitch

Whoa
I'm feeling low
I don't know
Where I'm supposed to go

I don't want to go out
Not like that
But my brain just want's to slow down
Get lost in the past
and I...
I feel as though my mind's been tethered
I just wish I could've done you better
To make you happy is my last endeavor
And after that I'll just be gone forever
I don't mean it
Baby, I don't mean it
Or maybe I do
I don't know my own feelings
I don't mean it
Baby, I don't mean it
Or maybe I do
I don't fuck with my own feelings

I don't mean it
Why you tell me how you feel when you been leaving?
Why you act like this is real when you don't need me?
Why you act like this is real when you don't need me?
I know I hurt you and I'm sorry
Can't control myself, it makes me worried
All this shit you do for me
 I really don't deserve it
I want to see you happy
Before I just see the hearse bitch

It's obvious
It don't come easily
It don't come easily

i'm sorry w/ guccihighwaters (prod. Yusei)

beat. prod by Nicholas Allen

______________________________________________

I've been bleeding
You were my flower
Until you left me
Now I'm colder than December
I've been screaming
I'll find someone better
Wait, no I won't
My heart is permanently shattered
I've been hiding in an over-sized sweater
I'm afraid of the world
I like the indoors better
I'm deader than I was last September
My head hurts
Sadboisonly member
I wish I never met her
When loyal is severed
I'll see you again never
That goodbye is forever
Can't keep myself together

Tea and music makes me sad
She's watching me behind my back
I thought I heard some voices in my head
Don't be scared. It's nothing bad
She and her friends think they're so damn cool
I cannot stand them
That's kinda why I hate school
Now I have no friends
Just listen to my words, even though nobody listens
I guess I'm dumb, so I'll just leave then

I've been bleeding
You were my flower
Until you left me
Now I'm colder than December
I've been screaming
I'll find someone better
Wait, no I won't
My heart is permanently shattered
I've been hiding in an over-sized sweater
I'm afraid of the world
I like the indoors better
I'm deader than I was last September
My head hurts. 
Sadboisonly member
I wish I never met her

colderthandecember pt. 1 w/ heylog

@lilmoonlet <3

hello?

you call in the night why you tryin to fight me
i don't get the issue i'm sorry i'm trying
i just can't relate to your problems
how you expect me to solve them, i hope you don't think i'll resolve them

sometimes its just not that easy
(not that easy)
sometimes its just not that easy
(i wish that it could be)
your vices control you you're not seeing clearly
(i wish you could see what you're doing to me)
your vices control you you're not seeing clearly
(i need you to be, all that you can be, i'm sorry)

you call in the night why you tryin to fight me
i don't get the issue i'm sorry i'm trying
i just can't relate to your problems
how you expect me to solve them

i am only human, how do you expect me to react when you're abusive
i get that you're hurting but i'm not deserving of being your way out 
if i'm such a burden then why don't you leave
hoping you'll stay but its hard to foresee, if you will ever be happy with me
i can't keep doing this every week, i'm growing too weak, 
i think this relationship has reached its peak, i'm growing to weak
so sad its bleak

you call in the night why you tryin to fight me
i don't get the issue i'm sorry i'm trying
i just can't relate to your problems
how you expect me to solve them

problems w/ moonlet (prod.hkfiftyone)

beat produced by XANAX PROD

_________________________________
probably shouldn't pop shit
kept my heart from stopping
but it left me feelings nauseous
left a boy no options

if you fucking with me shawty
then you're fucking with my clique
wait, i ain't got one
they done left me like a bitch
they don't fuck with me no more
'cause i'm just a kid
trying to chase his dreams
and really make it big

but it ain't going to happen
all i feel is sadness
and i wish i didn't feel this
wish i had no feelings
shawty doesn't love me
and it makes me want to end it

xans don't love me
bands don't love me
someone help
i'm sufficating

nauseous

beat produced by ALONEATHOME

__________________________________
i need you
you need me
together we're so happy
i want you
i need you
everybody has their issues
i need you 
don't need me
that's fine. at least you're happy
i scream out
i'm bleeding
nobody wants to help me

i like the cold 'cause it slows my heartbeat
i feel so old but i'm still in my teens
i always feel like i'm never needed
you took my heart. you can go ahead and keep it

'cause i don't need it
i don't need you
wait, never mind. come back
'cause i really do
i don't want to
but i still want you
i wish i didn't, but i do

just a waste of space like the air in my lungs
don't waste your time trying to pick me up
'cause it's too late for me
yeah, it's too late
life is too hard for me
this is my fate

darkness taking over my brain
please don't hurt me. i hate the pain

someone help me
please help me
i'm tired of always crying
someone help me
god, help me
i swear i'm fucking dying

i like the cold 'cause it slows my heartbeat (prod. ALONEATHOME)

Lyrics: 
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends

wipe my tears cause I gotta get the cash now
no more fears but I feel it when the lights out 
world so cold it’s like I’m living in the arctic
so unknown sometimes I feel like I’m arson
tell me that you hate me tell me that you loathe me
tell me that I ain’t shit tell me that I’m nothing
heart filled with emotions can't share em with no one
yeah that's why I numb the pain with all these drugs and potions 
tell me that you hate me tell me that you loathe me
tell me that I ain’t shit tell me that I’m nothing
heart filled with emotions can't share em with no one
yeah that's why I numb the pain with all these drugs and potions

I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends

all the shit I done and all the things I seen
made me build a wall to block my memories
yeah, these drugs they got me falling like some leaves
need some novocaine but it ain’t for my teeth
I been fighting all these demons in my sleep
yeah, I’m faded yeah, I’m faded off the lean
don't give a fuck if I don't wake up from this dream
pass me a rope so I can leave reality

I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends
I been crying I been crying on my own
I don't need no one don't need no one at all
cause I never ever ever had a friend
loneliness is like the pain that never ends

The Pain That Never Ends

✦ VIDEO OUT NOW

MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGYyo9hQP70

@blacklunged

one of these days
i hope to be okay
im fixing the things
that felt right out of place
im an addict at best
you can take anything
as long as you stay
babe youll be my everything

i dont wanna bother you
stop hittin me up, were through
im takin it day by day
i dont even know what to say
im just tryna better myself
these bottles right up on the shelf
spent nights with the thoughts in my head
spent days wishin all this would end

no i dont need a friend
just need you to save my life
tried endin it twice
a blunts in my right
im thinkin wouldnt it be nice
to fade to the pavement?
these words on my grave are meant
to drive one last statement
right into the back of your neck

no i wont say sorry
i just want you by me
drive my car to your house
just to die in your arms
by myself

i'd die for you (prod. blacklunged)

no sample.
@qawikamri
about a girl that sucks

B A C K G R O U N D  S T O R Y
I flew over for a girl and turns out she was taken and didn't tell me about it, but the date was kinda fucked up cos she was on her phone all the time so i'm not actually missing a lot.

(Qawi Kamri)
dont leave me i fall apart without you
dont leave me im sorry that scarred you
second chance thats all i ask from you
second chance hope you thought this through (x3)

i just want to fix our problems
we can take time to solve them
i don't want to hit rock bottom
i hate the feel of feeling numb

i just want to wrap you in my arms
and tell you everything is fine
i just want you by my side
a feeling i get all the time
i know that you're scared right now
cos we are moving quite too fast
and you said you're not used to that
but i promise i wont break your heart

dont leave me i fall apart without you
dont leave me im sorry that scarred you
second chance thats all i ask from you
second chance hope you thought this through (2x)

she got looks but a shitty personality
maybe its my fault i let her inside of me
now its too late, im stuck, i cant fucking leave
stole my heart, fell in love with a heaven's thief

she got a pretty face
so i flew to her place
thought you were a bless
all you give me is stress

always on your phone
you don't want to talk at all
wow... its nice to be ignored
please put my head on a sword

i do believe in second chances
what do you say? do you want to fix this?

(cause I still want to)
wrap you in my arms
and tell you everything is fine
i just want you by my side
a feeling i get all the time
i know that you're scared right now
cos we are moving quite too fast
and you said you're not used to that
but i promise i wont break your heart

dont leave me i fall apart without you
dont leave me im sorry that scarred you
second chance thats all i ask from you
second chance hope you thought this through (3x)

want to wrap you in my arms
and tell you everything is fine
i just want you by my side
a feeling i get all the time
i know that you're scared right now
cos we are moving quite too fast
and you said you're not used to that
but i promise i wont break your heart

SPOTIFY

Second Chance

yesterday's souncloud: https://soundcloud.com/cpt_sad

_____________________________
i know you think you get me
but you can’t see what i see
i always feel so empty
baby, i’ve been dying slowly
don’t ghost me. i’m so lonely
if you leave i’ll have nobody
i’m dying. i can’t breath
feels like i’m suffocating

don’t call me back, that’s fine
i’ll really be alright
wait never mind, i lied
i think i’m dead inside

i think i’m losing patience
i just feel so isolated
don’t think anyone will save me
it feels like the whole world hates me lately

maybe i’m just crazy
it feels like i’m suffocating
know that’s already been stated

but really i’ve been drowning
there’s no savior, there’s no fountain
with no hope spouting around it
so i don’t know how i’m coping
i just feel so fucking hopeless

my life is going downhill
like a motherfucking slope, bitch
and it’s getting hard to focus
i don’t think i have a purpose
and that’s probably why i’m hurting
yah that’s probably why i’m hurting

fuck all this shit
 i just feel like a burden

and don’t you ever say i didn’t love you
gave you everything i had
but everything fell flat again
i hope that new boy has your back like i did
laying flat in my bed
rolling up the same way i did
calling back whenever you fled
feeling empty, wishing we were dead, okay

hollow hearts just make an empty pit
so take it back to when i never meant shit
come to think
bring me back to when you left me
never meant a damn thing
i never meant a thing to you

asphyxia w/ yesterday (prod. reaper)

benedixhion