self-prod

Praying that it's temporary, 
I don't want obituary, 
But this life is hella scary, 
I been cold since february. 
Can't you see im hailing Mary?
I don't want this shit to tear me, 
I been hanging on but barely, 
I don't see this life too fairly. 
Uh, 
I had to grow up,
Without a damn figure. 
Yeah we look good, 
But that shit is a picture, 
Real life is different, 
You'd know if you lived her. 
I'm hanging on by the skin of my blister. 
The cysts are not worth it, 
Wondering how I deserve it, 
I was just born to curse and, 
I'm only a person. 
This shit just like Donda to me, 
There was no father to me. 
And no he ain't dead, 
But he act like it something to be. 
If I had the courage, 
I'd smack him so hard that he's losing his teeth, 
But it wouldn't be worth it he's already hurting, 
And he can't afford surgery. 

If I had to spit on this shit everyday of the week, 
Then I know that I'd do it. 
I always feel useless like ripping the tulips, 
Inside of a garden when I knew I grew it. 
But I keep it moving like something is proving, 
When it's time consuming I'm fearing the doom of the fact that I knew it I'm clueless and the bruise is excusing the things that I'm doing. 
The things that I'm doing. 

But shit I'm still back, 
I cannot relax, 
Making three albums, 
A month and it's sad. 
It never works, 
And it only gets worse, 
And I'm fixing the mixing, 
It ruins the verse. 
Look at my past, 
And just like my dad, 
I'll never change it, 
I'm feeling too bad. 
Stuck in the dirt, 
I'm ignoring your words, 
And I cover my ears, 
Cause the things that I heard. 
I gotta go now, 
I cannot slow down. 
No time for thinking, 
I work way too much, 
Just to put it on soundcloud. 
Live like a ghost town, 
Alone with a whole crowd. 
I'm never lonely, 
But all on my only, 
I swear that I'm locked out. 

Is this what you wanted, 
I keep it a hunnid, 
The truth is I'm nothing, 
But wannabe something, 
But I end up running, 
Off cliff and I'm jumping, 
To hell without thinking, 
I feel like I'm cutting,
Off all of my socials, 
People I'm close to, 
I don't want loneliness, 
I wanna hold you, 
But look I just told you, 
All that I wrote you, 
Is deeper than love, 
It's the person I mold to.

Temporary

giving my all still wasnt enough,
-+- mix & master, lyrics by me
prod. idly blare -+-
(lyrics)
i been lost again
these thoughts theyre freezing my brain
and the mirror is a portal to take me away
are you gone again?
always when i need you the most
can i call a friend?
or will they all be gone now

what did it really mean?
when you left here from my life,
why is this happening?
tearing me from the inside.
can we restart again?
oh how ive messed up this time
was that my final chance?
i guess youre gone for good now.

and now youre gone for good,
always thought that i am the worst
and its been killing me,
when you speak bad to your friends
i am sorry,
i was never the best
i was trying hard,
i really gave you my all.

made 7/7/2022

what did it really mean anyway (idly blare)

self-prod

ibleedicare - https://soundcloud.com/slaughter-tone-records
epitome - https://soundcloud.com/failure404
xipz - https://soundcloud.com/xipz_sad

Encore w/ IBleedicare, epitomeoffailure & lil XipZ

prod. moneo (bro literally creates the worlds best torva beats loveu <3)

im haunted
Im walking away
don’t want this
I want you to stay

maybe its something I read
maybe I better off dead
you don’t understand what I meant
it can’t be portrayed over text
we always fight never mend
But you still end up in my bed
it’s always something that I said
there’s still a lie to be fed

she said hold my light
I said hold my soul
in this winter night
but I’m never cold
I feel quite alright
now I’m turning old
and I’m losing sight
feeling death alone

turn the lights off 
i don’t ever wanna be seen
we’re the same but
your just better than me

where’s our connection it’s suddenly lost
I’ll always help out no matter the cost
I don’t believe she would ever do wrong
every mistake is a nail in the coffin

maybe its something I read
maybe I better off dead
you don’t understand what I meant
it can’t be portrayed over text
we always fight never mend
But you still end up in my bed
it’s always something that I said
there’s still a lie to be fed

tough luck

revenge. (shxrkz)

grief

grief ft. Teddyboi (branwen)

new purpose ft. epitomeoffailure

You, 
You don't need a friend. 
You don't need a helping hand. 
You, 
You don't need anyone at all. 
So why am I so cold in the Fall?

Shelter me, 
From any little thing you could think of. 
Cause I don't have a friend, 
And I need one. 
I'm lucky if I even think to be one. 
And I'm sorry but I haven't been myself. 
And I'm sorry but I know it doesn't to help. 
I could worry for my presence in your life. 
Or I could try to go and make it right. 

I don't know how to help you, 
But I want to. 
Cause everything I need, 
Everything I need, 
Lives inside you. 
And I treat you like you're nothing, 
But you're everything. 
I hope that I afford you a wedding ring. 
I'm broke, 
And dumb, 
And messing up. 
Catching up, 
I can tell, 
That you really don't need me. 

Here's a necklace to make up. 
Here's another year face up. 
But I'm laying face down on the ground. 
Wonder why you let me take up. 
Half of your time, 
Half of your life. 
Half of the things that I say, 
They ain't right. 
Half of the things, 
That I take, 
They ain't mine. 
But every single day, 
You rewind. 
I'm really not perfect, 
And you know it. 
Give me one shot, 
Imma blow it. 
When you crashed your car, 
I couldn't tow it. 
I'm really not great, 
If you noticed. 
Shelter me, 
From any little thing you could think of. 
Cause I don't have a friend, 
And I need one. 
I'm lucky if I even think to be one. 

I don't know how to help you, 
But I want to. 
Cause everything I need, 
Everything I need, 
Lives inside you. 
And I treat you like you're nothing, 
But you're everything. 
I hope that I afford you a wedding ring. 
I'm broke, 
And dumb, 
And messing up. 
Catching up, 
I can tell, 
That you really don't need me. 

You, 
You don't need a friend. 
You don't need a helping hand. 
You, 
You don't need anyone at all. 
So why am I so cold in the Fall?

i need you, you don't need me

Main Artist: lil XipZ
Production: lil XipZ
Mixing: lil XipZ
Master: lil XipZ
Cover Art: lil XipZ
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM
@xipz_sad.am
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
LYRICS:

[Chorus]
she dressed in all black for my funeral, girl imma die real soon
yeah burry me with my switchblade, see the reaper behind you
yeah burry me with black roses
all my money so you dont blow it
hope you know youre dyin alone bitch
youre mine in the afterlife, i hope you know it

[Verse]
yea shawty be dyin a widow
ill be waiting for her in limbo
see my ghost in the back of the limo
blowin smoke out of the window
yea that bitch know that she mine
she trynna leave then she wastin her time
cuz she not leaving without any fights
then she'll get over it by fuckin me twice
not scared of death, i aint got no fear
so enjoy me while im here bitch
she asked why im not optimistic
bitch im just bein realistic
ill be the first to make it out of this town
even when nobody here beleived in me
eat my dick when i make it out
and ill ignore everything that they say to me

[Chorus]
she dressed in all black for my funeral, girl imma die real soon
yeah burry me with my switchblade, see the reaper behind you
yeah burry me with black roses
all my money so you dont blow it
hope you know youre dyin alone bitch
youre mine in the afterlife, i hope you know it

You'llBeMineInTheAfterlife

your best is all you can do, keep trying

produced by eeryskies

cover art by Kensy Rose

LYRICS:
my words have never meant as much
as when i didn’t say them
swallowed comfort to abstain my thoughts when crying bout your heritage 
west virginia’s been a prison
locked between the maples and the
option to embrace forgiveness
from the ones you wish to love

i saw the signs, early on
tired of your monthly visits from the ghosts within the sticks
and darling
i know you’re exhausted and know time keeps moving on
from every time you heard your younger self in those old songs

and she said heal
try your best i know it’s hard
she said heal
it’s time for you to move along

every scene you acted out
i sat in the audience
watching youthful tragedy
translated to indifference
if my shaky hands could be the vessel for your soul
i’d never shake again to keep your spirit from the cold

so baby heal
no matter where you are
try to heal
remember who you are

heal [prod. eeryskies]

ok chill ik i messed up ;(

❤ IV
˅˅ i destroyed myself to repair you, ˅˅
official bizzies archive.
some songs ive put a lot of effort into, others i have not. you'll find them here