finna smoke again but i prolly shoudnt 
finna kms fr but i prolly shouldnt
told myself tht id get better but i knew i wouldnt
told myself tht id get clean i just couldnt do it
happy mommas getting clean
wishin i could do it
cant let go because im weak n im fuckin stupid

happy mommas getting clean 
wishin i could do it
told myself tht id get clean i just couldnt do it
told myself tht id get better but i knew i wouldnt
(told myself tht id get better but i knew i wouldnt)

finna smoke again but i prolly shoudnt 
finna kms fr but i prolly shouldnt
told myself tht id get better but i knew i wouldnt
told myself tht id get clean i just couldnt do it
happy mommas getting clean
wishin i could do it
cant let go because im weak n im fuckin stupid
cant let go because im weak n im fuckin stupid
cant let go because im weak n im fuckin stupid

wish i could do it / kms +chrxme

giving my all still wasnt enough,
-+- mix & master, lyrics by me
prod. idly blare -+-
(lyrics)
i been lost again
these thoughts theyre freezing my brain
and the mirror is a portal to take me away
are you gone again?
always when i need you the most
can i call a friend?
or will they all be gone now

what did it really mean?
when you left here from my life,
why is this happening?
tearing me from the inside.
can we restart again?
oh how ive messed up this time
was that my final chance?
i guess youre gone for good now.

and now youre gone for good,
always thought that i am the worst
and its been killing me,
when you speak bad to your friends
i am sorry,
i was never the best
i was trying hard,
i really gave you my all.

made 7/7/2022

what did it really mean anyway (idly blare)

ill make it up to you if you give me a chance
i dont know if i'll ever be okay again
these wounds you gave they left scars unseen
and i don't think that i'll ever be okay with this
it's atrocious what you did
my whole heart's been broke from this
fight back i tried but i can't take it
you're an expert when you fake it
even though the love's been gone there's still traces

she dont love me anymore
at least thats what i think
cuz i'm not the same anymore
idk if she's okay with this

you say what i did is atrocious i don't remember a thing
i wonder if one day we can start it all over again

oh girl u know i'd like it if you could give me a chance
but i don't care
i'm good on my own
i need me some time to work on myself

gimme the face
or gimme a hug
i just need a fix i don't really need u
i don't got no feels
i'll jump down the hill
but before i'll see if you can get back with me

J'ressens pas grand chose mais c'est sympa d'être à tes côtés
(I don't feel much but its good being by your side)
Me demande pas c'que j'pense certaines questions seront sautées
(don't ask me what i think, some questions won't get answers)

ill make it up to you if you give me a chance
i dont know if i'll ever be okay again
these wounds you gave they left scars unseen
and i don't think that i'll ever be okay with this
it's atrocious what you did
my whole heart's been broke from this
fight back i tried but i can't take it
you're an expert when you fake it
even though the love's been gone there's still traces

give me a chance ft. noxiousnights (mackk)

mastered by @wokely
Lyrics:

[chorus] 

scratching at my dry eyes for the last time
i know, that you despise, when i cry 
so i, try my best to, try my best to lie
so you don’t hate me for the last time

[verse]

slumped on my desk hoping that somebody wakes me up
this ain’t what u want, but that’s okay I always mess it up
haven’t slept for over 5 hours, in 5 years 
maybe it would be better if i could see clear

i been hurting myself for a while
throwing up every single day before a shower
what a disaster, i feel myself losing all of my power
headaches every day cuz i want music louder

hate going in my living room, cuz everybody thinks i wont be living soon
hate my voice so i try my best to cover it up in autotune
hate myself, i hate to loom, when that’s all i know how to do
i hate the way i think, so i hate my attitude 

[verse 2]

going down i know, that you probably hate me
i don’t blame u either, cuz i also hate me
everything i make is garbage and ez
that’s why nobody likes it lately

i been going crazy, i don’t even want to do this anymore it hurts me
yeah, it hurts me, i don’t even want to do this anymore 
it makes me feel weak 
and i can’t even stand this for one more week

it’s really hurting deep
my soul is not cheap, but right now it might be
i really hate this feeling
so can you take it please, can you take it please

[chorus]

scratching at my dry eyes for the last time
i know, that you despise, when i cry 
so i, try my best to, try my best to lie
so you don’t hate me for the last time

dry i's (killedmyself)

hello

she seems so nice
but the devils inside her eyes
imma pay my price
maybe all I need is this device

cause we ain’t in harmony 
we’re by ourselves 
these words drain out of me
like bullet shells
need to stock my armory
I’m living hell
say you need all of me
I’ll wish you well

when the sun sets
but the nights gone
I need you here
in my arms
I’m a toxin
I’m an addict
where’d my friends go
I have had it

I wake up
and never feel the same
it’s tough luck
but your the one to blame
red cuffs 
a devil in dismay
float up
im drowning in the pain

cause we ain’t in harmony 
we’re by ourselves 
these words drain out of me
like bullet shells
need to stock my armory
I’m living hell
say you need all of me
I’ll wish you well

armory (splashgvng)

@screwyounick
forgot 2 upload on soundcloud mb yall luv u

im hard2luv
lyrics: 

because i'm hard to love
i'm always feeling like im not enough
yeah not enough

yeah where were you when i lost my mind?
i tried to call you like a thousand times
and nothing ever works
everything just makes it worse
now i'll never feel okay
until i'm lying in a hearse

i don't think i'll ever be okay
who am i kidding
i've always been this way
and i only ever seem to fall down
i can't ever get back up
seems like all i ever do is fuck shit up
they toss me aside cause i'm not enough

i just wish i could be enough
and i just wish that i wasn't so damn

hard to love
i'm always feeling like i am not enough
yeah not enough

yeah where were you when i lost my mind
i tried to call you like a thousand times
yeah nothing ever works
everything just makes it worse
now i'll never feel okay
until i'm lying in a hearse

hard2luv [+dercept]

Prod @horoshavibes & @kingtheta
Featuring @1endie
Mastered by Bryan Shortell @shordeli

LYRICS
I'm a recluse
I've been spending too much time inside my bedroom
Ask me and I'll say I'm fine but that is not true
I'm staying quarantined from everyone who cares for me
 
'Cause they could never really get it
I'm not shy
I'm just staying independent
I have trouble letting people in
Ask me what's my problem
Where do I begin
 
I'm a recluse
I've been spending too much time inside my bedroom
Ask me and I'll say I'm fine but that is not true
I won't even try to hide that I don't want to socialize
'Cause I'm a wreck
I'm a recluse
 
Three days in the same shirt
What's the point of waking up if I don't gotta work
Check my phone
No missed calls
At this point I'm convinced
No one'd miss me at all
 
(Endie)
I love and hate my youth for someone like you
And you know that I don't write
My feelings for you in a notebook
A journal
Trying not to fall for
Someone like you
‘Cause you’re all I know
And you're all I want

Listen on Spotify!

Recluse w/ Endie (Prod. Horosha & King Theta)

u look tired, is everything okay?
𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖,
(lyrics)
had enough,
this isnt fun anymore
you dont talk to me at all
-
had enough
youre leaving more
words dont last
im feeling horrible

repeating words
all ive ever heard
its in my veins
never doing great

i find myself
drifting to the end
of all ive ever known
lonely is a word when used to describe my home
but love is such a waste when they are not the one
and im easy to replace, lets face the facts im nothing special
this game of life, is just an unbeatable level
i always think about whats called "have i lost you?"
well i have,
we'll never get it back again

back again
ive lost you
and now youre gone
gone
i miss you
i am nothing,
i never was

made 11/16/22

Ephemeral

drained of color (24/7) [prod. wisssery]

Dark Place

Tragedy (prod by GSC X Neverforever)

❤ IV
˅˅ i destroyed myself to repair you, ˅˅
official bizzies archive.
some songs ive put a lot of effort into, others i have not. you'll find them here