uh okay so uh basically i had a dream where i saw rowan atkinson at a party and played him bean vs chaplin which is why i used that beat but the announcer just said jim henson vs bowser jr so here we are happy april fools

Mr. Tibbs as Jim Henson/Kermit the Frog
Snakebite126 as Bowser Jr./Shadow Mario
Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by InsaneBeatz

-LYRICS-

Jim:
Yo! My army’s more than a frog for this lizard
Origami King? I’m the Fraggle rock to your scissors 
You’re like Oscar the Grouch’s house, because you’re trash
Kermit:
Walking ‘round tryna kill a dude with a mustache 
I run this Sesame Street, but got those underground bars
Kermit:
With those goofy rhymes, makes sense that you ride a clown car
Spit Dark like a Crystal. I’m second to no other
Kermit:
Mario? You need Maury, bro.
Jim:
Peach is not the mother!

Bowser Jr.:
This is Boswer Jr.’s Fury, so don’t bother running up
Cuz I Shine on the mic and I burn like the Sun. You’re done!
Check that ugly mug, my paintbrush couldn’t touch it up
So make like your Muppets and shove it up in your fucking butt
Those rhymes were cancer. Did they come out your damn throat?
I make shadows puppets
Shadow Mario:
you just live your puppet’s shadow
After always snatching F.L.U.D.D., I’m used to taking flows away
Bowser Jr.:
I’ll drop the brush, I just painted you more red than Elmo’s face

Jim Henson vs Bowser Jr. | Half-Ass Rap Battles

VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqhS4X0ddOM

TicciSparks como Scott Pilgrim
GASU como Ramona Flowers

lightsøut como Boyfriend
Pandah como Girlfriend

Escrito por CyanCoat, TheBauestPerson, Cloud17 y TheSoul

Instrumental por CyanCoat

Lyrics (translated, not adapted) to English:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fyT1elZ536HsSyKYehtAM970e_yMIWygrV_B1vL6ZWA/edit?usp=sharing

Kim Pine:
(Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro!)

Anunciador:
GUERRAS DE RAP

Scott Pilgrim contra Boyfriend!

Girlfriend:
(Tres, Dos, Uno, Va!)

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Juegos de ritmo? los gano, amigo mío!
(Si no, ve lo que hicimos contra el idiota de Gideon!)
Venceré en un Flash al pastiche de NewGrounds
Esta vez sin ayuda de Knives! (Parappa dirá Chau!)

Boyfriend:
Oh dios, qué haces aquí Scott? No salgas con más niños!
Tú y tu basura hipster vuélvanse para el 2005!
Tan blando como un Muffin, hoy soy tu nega-ninja!
Vas a ser el Ex Ocho, después de esta paliza!

Scott Pilgrim:
No lo creo, en este duelo voy a ser como tu suegro!
Tu deseo es tener Sexo y mis Bob-Ombas lo han des-hecho!

Boyfriend:
No hables de mi relación, tu novia es peor que Taylor Swift! (Ooh!)
Fuckboys pixelados no acaban bien contra mi! (Yeah!)

Scott Pilgrim:
¿Soy un Fuck Boy porque me dan lo que a ti no?
Mejor dime "Puck-Man", todas quieren darme el "Fuck"!

Boyfriend:
Mejor dicho "Cuck-Man", cuando llega el G-Man
Suelta el bajo que con Neil ya te van a reemplazar!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Derroté a ambos capitanes, América y Marvel!
(Mientras tú estás rapeando contra dos niños en disfraces!)
Pero enano vocaloid, sólo regurgitas flows...
YA BASTA! Pagarás tu crimen contra el hip hop!

Boyfriend:
Tus bandas son un crímen contra lo Sónico (& Knuckles)
Ellas se desmoronan cuando yo rockeo el Mic-hael
Cera debes tener, si crees que suenan bien
Como tu película, un fracaso van a ser!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Te supero en cualquier medio, hasta en los videojuegos!
Es normal cuando recaes en mods para hacerlo bueno...
(El subespacio en tu cabeza de seguro está vaciado...)
Si pensabas que tu moda vencería a mi legado!

Boyfriend:
¿Te refieres al legado de haber arruinado,,,
...A toda una generación, pedófilo fracasado?
Encima tardas seis tomos en tratar de ser mejor
Porque no quiere afrontar que es sólo un puto perdedor!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Luché por la chica en mis sueños! Poder de Entendimiento!
(Con cualquier nota en falso tu novia abandona el juego...)
Viví con Wallace, oye, no discrimino!
Así que al menos te queda ir a darte picos con Pico...

Boyfriend y Girlfriend:
¿Quieres hablar de homosexuales?... tienes tres ex-novias:
Volviste a dos de ellas lesbianas, y la otra te odia!
Ya no te escondas tras Ramona, maldito cobarde!
Te vencí por mi cuenta (Así es cómo se hace!) Ja!

Scott Pilgrim vs Boyfriend

MetalFireVA as Tankman
Fightmarker as The Soldier
Writing: Fightmarker and Trakked
Beat by ObieDaz
Mixed by Fight

Tankman (0:23) 
Ugh
Look what we have here, this cunt best put his guard up
Cause wow, just the sight of you is killing my hard-on 
Why should I be scared of you, isn’t your ass named Jane?
Getting fucked so hard; that’s what we call a Flash-Bang (flashbang sound effect)
Ain’t gonna keep calm, yeah, I’m dropping fucking bombs
Keep playing with taunts, I’ll launch my rocket in your mom
And your daddy too, your attitude is fucked up to the max
Don't matter if you’re red or blue, I’ll still beat this hack's ass
Ain't got range in your vocals or your arms; you just miss shit
I'm willing to bet this loner just wants his Valve twisted
Are those clothes the ones you really wanna die in, shit
Bruh, your fucking helmet looks like the tip of my dick

The Soldier
Step back maggot, it's time I show you the ropes
You best be retreating when I get you in my scope
I killed nazis on my own, and your crew's not much better
When your team's having a Titanic watch party together 
As a veteran, I'm better than this; take it like a man
Have a show not written for pre-teens and that is a command
There’s no way out of Domination, I’ll leave your corpse rotten
Cause I got the best view of your death, I called Shotgun!
I'll advance in your quarters and leave this manchild cornered
Best listen to my orders, you fucking commie conformer
You went through an apocalypse while I alone am more deadly
Shown your face as a disgrace, so drop down and give me 20

Tankman
Huh TFU2, could you repeat that last verse, dear?
I knew you were rapping about something, I just didn’t really care 
And you're fighting robots too? You can suck my nuts and bolts
Hey, Steve! Leave this dumbass with a bunch of holes!
Newgrounds be getting bread, and ours isn’t injected
How did every branch of the military have your ass rejected? 
You’ve Captured The White Flag, you sure resisted quick
So now rocket jump on this dick or rocket jump off a cliff (bitch)

The Soldier
Unlike you, I know honor, Mr. Prissypants, step down.
Cemented your legacy as Newgrounds' biggest letdown 
I made my own fame, how you got yours is quite a shame
I respawn everyday, you got resurrected from a rhythm game 
Couldn't Rumble with the top tiers, so now you're on the sidelines
Waited for your punchlines longer than your time in the limelight
Took you off the high ground, you’re not what you claim to be
If God wanted you to live, he would have not created me!
(*RADICAL INTENSE SOLDIER SCREAM AAAAAAGH*)

Tankman vs The Soldier. rap battle. by fightmarker.

LAR80s / Fightmarker as Michael Myers
Vladimyr P. as Sam

WELCOME TO A SINISTER RAP BATTLE
MICHAEL MYERS
AGAINST
SAM
BEGIN

Michael Myers:
Coming hard on this Mike, I bring the fuel to ignite
This Myers spitting fire cross the pyers to incite a fright
Your pumpkin pie can’t ever stand up to my skills with this knife
Bleeding seeds and spilling guts; losing your Saturday Night Life
Don’t call me Austin Powers, I won’t answer to Wayne
The only schwing you’ll hear from me is my blade bringing the pain
You’re the Picard to my Kirk a Hallow-eenie mini me
Your Jack o’lanterns all smirk without any comedy
I couldn’t give a Shatner about your weak and bleak portrayal
When I feast on Samhain the preparation will be fatal
Just like Geoffrey Giraffe, you don’t want to grow up
And your film’s a Blockbuster; bankrupt.

Sam:
I’ll analyze your thoughts, you’re not as psycho as you seem
Bates Motel was scarier even without the shower scene
The blood I spill Covers-all, so zip it, and grab your mop
I’m the megamall of Horror while you’re just a Little Shop
You’ll mourn when the Thorn is torn, I ad-myer the forewarn
But you have the mind of a kid so join the Children of the Corn
So grab your kettle, pop it up, the show’s ‘bout to begin
You’ll bear true witness to the terror for I am the pumkin-gpin

Michael Myers:
Your Burlap Sack raps are wack, what’s hiding in your stash?
No Chocolate Bars, you’re lolly-gagging, since you couldn’t light a match
Box office zero, direct to blue-ray show, it’s such a pity
I’m filling seats at AMC; you’re on clearance at Party City
You’ll be Dead by Daylight once I nail you to the fence
Carpenter’s hammering nails will leave you hanging in suspense
I’m your creator but I’ll still cut you like my sister
You’re never scene in theaters; forever a d-lister

Sam:
If you’re wanting some suspense, then I guess I’ll take the lead
That chocolate covered pocket verse was worse than Halloween 3
That movie’s subtitle was Season of the Witch
But If you’d have been the star they’d call it Season of the Bitch
The Zombies Robbing of your win, in Grave danger of what’s within
You got no Spirit-Halloween, so I will cleanse you of your sins
Loomis calls you pure evil, but I think it’s just clickbait
Have a glass of H20, because you need some to rehydrate!
The Pumpkin Patch is open, come and pick your harvest boon
Just Stop clowning around, and IT will all be over soon
You’re a disgrace to the night of October 31st
Trick ‘R Treating’s my bag, so you’ll leave this battle cursed

WHO MURDERED THE MIC?
COMMENT THE WAIVER BELOW
RETURN TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL
FOR ANOTHER
SINISTER RAP BATTLE

Writers: Vlad and John P.
Beat Producer: Dansonn
Mixer / Effects: Vlad
Cover Art Made by Vlad

Michael Myers (Halloween) vs Sam (Trick ‘R Treat). Sinister Rap Battles

since I wanted to go ahead and have this out and also due to a lot of good slots being taken for the schedule I figured I'd drop this as a little surprise. happy early halloween everyone. :) thank you to everyone who was involved in the making of this!
stay spooky!!

Casting:
Dani as El Chupacabra
Alex as the Mothman

Written & Mixed by Alex
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob

Lyrics:

The Mothman:
Terrorizing from Buffalo long ways to Mason
Who said the Point’s meant to be Pleasant?
Tell me, what is your defense, peasant?
This is what my Prophecy destined!
I expected shivers
I’m cackling, you look so withered
And I must admit I’m a bit disappointed my foe is an unkempt lizard
So don’t step on the hills of the Farmlands
Don’t dwell on the hills as a Farmhand
In the night sky descending upon your gardens
You’ll witness eyes glaring, wings darkened
El Diablo hackneyed backwards crackhead, I’m bored by your story so listless
I am vile and wiry, handle my business, you can’t keep your facts consistent
Or your potential whereabouts, or your powers, or your appearance
So pardon my weariness, you mangy bitch, if I fail to see you as anything even close to vicious
Agh, you’re dry as the desert you come from
I tower like where I originate from
Let’s dance in the dim lighting
So c’mere Vampire, how’s about you bite me?

El Chupacabra:
This knock-off fallen angel is a mockery yet still hell-bound
I’ll waltz into West Virginia, find the tourists, tell the crowds
How El Chupacabra spread terror across continents, so tell me how’s it
That you claim to be the fiercer entity scaring hillbillies up in the mountains?
This cryptid’s cryptic, my cipher’s dire
You’re a half-baked antique Creepypasta
Mired in tropes like you came from a first grade writer
Step off of that bridge, I’ll extract your insides
I would’ve expected you of all demons to be...a bit more fly
You’re face-to-face with a real beast
Real creatures would laugh at you
With all the museums and statues
You’re a novelty attraction, they cash grab from you
Douse you in raps like it’s goats blood
From the victims I carve up
Your time’s done
When I kick into High Gere, your hope’s fucked

The Mothman:
I’m not surprised you lack backbone, that spine’s atrocious
Proportions more broken than this morbid hoax is
All bark, no bite
Your claws can’t catch me in the skies, you’d fail
Paling in comparison
It seems your scales aren’t up to scale

El Chupacabra:
You’re looking pretty grey and desaturated
Heh, someone’s a bit miffed their relevance has faded
Makes sense, that’s what an offhand joke does 
Being from the “TNT Areas” about the only time you can say you’ve blown up!

The Mothman:
I incite fear, I’m not some half-baked Satanic ritual
Rip the canines out of this canid who’s ‘power stance’ is pitiful
I Tracked the Chupacabra; and you were hopeless from the moment I landed
I’m linked to UFOS because my flow is not from this planet

El Chupacabra:
Is crumbling part of your plan in rap? I really doubt you will last
When your own presence made your own fucking bridge collapse
My teeth alone could clip you down a level, Winged Man...
I’m hungry, hijo de puta
Seems I flipped the switch on this Moth’s lamp

El Chupacabra vs. the Mothman // Alex's Rap Battles #8 ((Halloween Special 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 ))

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1qwRu6ZbBSI23S6UX_y7b24pC6OxeTit-bKVsnsvZln4/edit
Snakebite126 as Little Mac
Alex M. as Izuku Midoriya
MetaMachine as Doc Louis (cameo)
Written by MetaMachine, Raichous, Kamren the Person, GamingPlush64, FyxFynn and Adam.
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Thumbnail by Rabi
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Self-Reflections"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

Little Mac vs. Izuku Midoriya

Thank you Paige!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Video drops Dec. 25th

Evan as Spike Spiegel
Snakebite126 as Vash the Stampede

Kuroneko as herself (Cameo)

Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Written by: Dani Frias
Mixed by: Dani Frias
Flow Test by: Dani Frias

Lyrics:

Spike:
You seem like a bounty that I wouldn't really get
One with beliefs that I could be hearing out of hippie Jet
So I'll stay chilling in space compared to your desert and fungus 
'cause last time you flew in a ship, your family played Among Us
Bang, messed in the head like Pierrot Le Fou
Clear that you'll lose; to me it ain't new, while I can't say the same for you
While I'm beating up about twenty bounties all the way through
You're on your first, down on your knees, talkin' 'bout "what would mommy do"
And I know your show gets sad and you can't bounce back
But maybe not put all the death scenes next to my soundtrack 
But I won't drag this like it's you with a car
So whatever happens, happens, I'll be exposing who you really are

Vash:
Thou shall not kill, but I can't promise you that
Don't assume that, I'll lose matches once we see where you at
I get shot at several times and I'm still up here spitting lines
But when you're swung at for your crimes, they made this man end up like Knives
They call me Stampede 'cause I stomp on you, ain't that right
I came first, you came worse, and now we're here to fight
I won't be spitting as lackluster as your show could
Tried way too hard to be mine so bad, they made a series off Wolfwood 
Call me a gun, 'cause I'm banging your ex-girl
Taking shrooms again, so just move on to the next world
As Vash is so brash when he's past dissing trash
So I'll give you some cash so you can have cigarettes furl

Spike:
Have at it, Humanoid Typhoon, think you run a tycoon?
Remember that they need my show so they can go like you
But still, you thought it in your head to go and push me
Glad I got a pair, 'cause you'd do anything for pussy

Vash:
And you'd do anything to clear up memories of crime life
They wouldn't like it when they now see a cop in the limelight 
So stand up and fight right, you Snapchat filter phony 
I would've been more scared of Spike from My Little Pony

Spike:
You look like a broom but can't sweep up ends
You did it good when you were killing all your friends
I may have a fake eye, it surprised all the masses
But I'd do anything not to wear those ugly-ass glasses
Rapping is a talent that you lack
Messed up that verse like it's a town or your back
Guess I got the 60 bill from crying donut man
Go and get Legato to fix up the next speech that you plan 

Vash:
Put down your weapon, you think you could spit it hot? Please
I'll call you Faye; I'm lying here like "you sing offkey"
I already dealt with Sax boys shooting when they met us
So I'll leave you drinking hardly that Frank Marlon would get jealous 
Takin' moves from Bruce Lee? You'll lose, see, I don't mean no harm
But what's martial arts gonna have up against my other arm
Got canceled like Big Shot, I know your fanbase would be pleased
See you, space cowboy. Back to pursuing love and peace

Spike Spiegel vs. Vash the Stampede - #8

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of sentient pastries; one good, one evil: The Pillsbury Doughboy vs The Gingerdead Man Enjoy, and happy holidays!

-LYRICS-

Pillsbury:
Yo. I’m Poppin’ Fresh out the oven. (hoo hoo) better show some respect
Cuz I’ve haven’t seen such a weak little so-called “threat “ (since when?) since your cousin from Shrek
You bring half-baked raps when you’re up on a mic. (yeh) Not even Brick would wanna stomach your lines
Looking like what Chucky eats for lunch in my eyes. There’s not a single crumb of Passion in your Crusty design. 
You fought a bong with a lighter; but ain’t as high as your writers, now you’re boutta be the buddy that is getting smoked, boy
Getting the guns ready and raining the Funfetti; so don’t you ever question why they call me Doughboy
I could watch Paula Deen on TV for an hour 15: it’d be a more scary movie
Only Got Milked for a couple sequels, and this cookie-cutter chump couldn’t bag Gary Busey

Gingerdead:
You can take that whole verse and shove it up your croissant. Kid, you’re… dead
Your whole company and personality’s soulless, and that's coming from a ginger... bread
(Ugh) You’re the yeast of my problems. (HAHA!) So now you got my anger rising
Wanna piece of me? (huh?) Start biting. You got such wack raps, call you Vanilla Icing
I’ll cut! Cut! Cut as fast as I can! Better Run! Run! Run, baby Marshmallow Man
I’ll smack the fuck! Fuck! Fuck outta you, man! And watch your gut! Gut! Gut get poked from the knife in my hand
So don’t fuck with Findlemeyer, It’ll feel like an oven when I’m spit this fire
I’ll tarnish you worse than some mother Smuckers could. Lyrical evil never tasted so good (HAHAHAHAHA!!!)

Freshy Kanal as Pillsbury Doughboy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNLjRiychUaaCU0uJTYDUYA
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/610WQgwSmLL0U2wQzZdrqY?si=gufrrndCQbywBKzCoGadCA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FreshyKanal

Michael Stark as Gingerdead Man 
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfULalNLwszljsyNj3Qt28Q
Twitter: https://twitter.com/The_Stark_Media
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/stark-media

Written by Commander Jacob and Michael Stark (w/ help from Razzy)
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by Dansonn

The Pillsbury Doughboy vs The Gingerdead Man | Half-Ass Rap Battles

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M-gsC6isIYNxxabUcg8zmu-VX4wjvOrQpOTVcaLUA7c/edit?usp=sharing

URBoF

Razputin vs Lucas 2 - URBoF #15

Adam as Peter Griffin / the Duck
Mancha as Homer Simpson / the Chicken

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a5TPEoBJ57l2yjX5csDmht1f4-07hkrIzV4xT4NSOIc/edit?usp=sharing

Peter Griffin vs Homer Simpson. Mega Hyper Rap Battles #6

Video release: February 20th

MaviKartal2003 as Tommy Wiseau (video)
Adam as Tommy Wiseau (audio)
Pixel Chris as Leonardo DiCaprio (video)
WritingJoeBattles as Leonardo DiCaprio (audio)
RNG as Announcer 

Written by Oofie, MaviKartal2003, RNG, CCRB, WalkAwesomeMovies, WDRB (one line) and Pixel Chris
Mixed by Ken-Chan
Beat produced by Allrounda
Flow test by Oofie
Cover art by Oofie
Produced by Oofie

Tommy Wiseau (0:11):
I did not hit her, it’s not true, it’s bullshit! I did not hit her, I did nahhht!
Oh hi Leo!
Nice to meet you, I’m Wiseau, and you’re DiCaprio
I’m not talking bottles when I’m putting caps in folks 
Getting more money than you from sales of DVDs
You’re no artist, yes Leonardo, no da Vinci
Unmask the iron truth off your head, oh Danny boy, Danny Boy
In all your movies, you end up dead, oh Danny boy, Danny boy 
In this battle you’re falling harder than you did as Jack 
You’ll only flow when it’s Gatsby’s pool murder on the track (hahaha) 
I did so much for “The Room”, couldn’t stand to my mastermind brain
Everyone knows me, and I’m not even sipping champagne 
You sue over dick pics? Hah! What's wrong little Leo?
I spit raps stronger than your Titanic ego! (hahaha)

Leonardo DiCaprio (0:52):
Let me be Franco, I'm tearing apart this mess
Screaming dreams from roofs like "my parents aren't incestuous!”
Just ‘cause it’s an award, Razzies’ don't equal a high bar
I’m not talking Sestero when I’m seeing high marks
You’re fucking a bellybutton, dick’s as small as your list of hits
A pistol’s not the only thing fired, I’d assume that you’re used to it
I'm a wolf: Wall Street; you’re a chicken: CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP
Now Gregory ain’t the only one that's going up a shit Creek!
I’m a shining film star, you’re only shining when you Polish floors
Even I got more Oscars than your Golden Globe Awards
Chillin’ in my mansion, you’re living off of your pensions
With your s-s-stammer, you couldn’t finish a sentence!

Tommy Wiseau (1:24):
But your roles couldn’t get me on board with Titanic
Even Cameron switched to blue people for a bigger flick
You’re as thin as Glass, which I will break into shards 
You could call me Lisa, ‘cause I’m tearing you apart!

Leonardo DiCaprio (1:34):
Complain about the Titanic? Film’s got me covered in ice!
But you’re clowning even worse than your attempts at playing Joker right
Your career’s pushing daisies, or in this case, Roses
No Inception, time is over! The dream’s come to a close, kid!

Tommy Wiseau vs Leonardo DiCaprio - Rap Clash!

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.