Fighting The Urge [+ shrpnss]

self-prod

Crush my hands into some particles, 
But I still hold, 
To the pieces of you stopping me, 
From being cold. 
I just wanna know you love me baby, 
I don't control, 
The feelings that I'm feeling lately, 
It's getting old. 
Could you love me like you did, 
In December?
Cold winter winds on our skin, 
We're growing thinner. 
Walking through the snow, 
But our skin tends to simmer. 
Warmth beneath our hearts, 
Gives a feeling I remember. 
You had black and red hair, 
And mine was in my face, 
Now yours is turning brown, 
And I guess I haven't changed. 
I still feel as cold as I did, 
Inside that fucking cave. 
And if I fall behind, 
I hope this winter you escape. 
You created me, 
You saved me like a hero. 
Can't relate me to your passion, 
Baby I'm a fuckin zero. 
I just wanna be the one you call when you're alone. 
I'm sorry baby girl I know I never get the phone.

december

self-prod

Praying that it's temporary, 
I don't want obituary, 
But this life is hella scary, 
I been cold since february. 
Can't you see im hailing Mary?
I don't want this shit to tear me, 
I been hanging on but barely, 
I don't see this life too fairly. 
Uh, 
I had to grow up,
Without a damn figure. 
Yeah we look good, 
But that shit is a picture, 
Real life is different, 
You'd know if you lived her. 
I'm hanging on by the skin of my blister. 
The cysts are not worth it, 
Wondering how I deserve it, 
I was just born to curse and, 
I'm only a person. 
This shit just like Donda to me, 
There was no father to me. 
And no he ain't dead, 
But he act like it something to be. 
If I had the courage, 
I'd smack him so hard that he's losing his teeth, 
But it wouldn't be worth it he's already hurting, 
And he can't afford surgery. 

If I had to spit on this shit everyday of the week, 
Then I know that I'd do it. 
I always feel useless like ripping the tulips, 
Inside of a garden when I knew I grew it. 
But I keep it moving like something is proving, 
When it's time consuming I'm fearing the doom of the fact that I knew it I'm clueless and the bruise is excusing the things that I'm doing. 
The things that I'm doing. 

But shit I'm still back, 
I cannot relax, 
Making three albums, 
A month and it's sad. 
It never works, 
And it only gets worse, 
And I'm fixing the mixing, 
It ruins the verse. 
Look at my past, 
And just like my dad, 
I'll never change it, 
I'm feeling too bad. 
Stuck in the dirt, 
I'm ignoring your words, 
And I cover my ears, 
Cause the things that I heard. 
I gotta go now, 
I cannot slow down. 
No time for thinking, 
I work way too much, 
Just to put it on soundcloud. 
Live like a ghost town, 
Alone with a whole crowd. 
I'm never lonely, 
But all on my only, 
I swear that I'm locked out. 

Is this what you wanted, 
I keep it a hunnid, 
The truth is I'm nothing, 
But wannabe something, 
But I end up running, 
Off cliff and I'm jumping, 
To hell without thinking, 
I feel like I'm cutting,
Off all of my socials, 
People I'm close to, 
I don't want loneliness, 
I wanna hold you, 
But look I just told you, 
All that I wrote you, 
Is deeper than love, 
It's the person I mold to.

Temporary

ill make it up to you if you give me a chance
i dont know if i'll ever be okay again
these wounds you gave they left scars unseen
and i don't think that i'll ever be okay with this
it's atrocious what you did
my whole heart's been broke from this
fight back i tried but i can't take it
you're an expert when you fake it
even though the love's been gone there's still traces

she dont love me anymore
at least thats what i think
cuz i'm not the same anymore
idk if she's okay with this

you say what i did is atrocious i don't remember a thing
i wonder if one day we can start it all over again

oh girl u know i'd like it if you could give me a chance
but i don't care
i'm good on my own
i need me some time to work on myself

gimme the face
or gimme a hug
i just need a fix i don't really need u
i don't got no feels
i'll jump down the hill
but before i'll see if you can get back with me

J'ressens pas grand chose mais c'est sympa d'être à tes côtés
(I don't feel much but its good being by your side)
Me demande pas c'que j'pense certaines questions seront sautées
(don't ask me what i think, some questions won't get answers)

ill make it up to you if you give me a chance
i dont know if i'll ever be okay again
these wounds you gave they left scars unseen
and i don't think that i'll ever be okay with this
it's atrocious what you did
my whole heart's been broke from this
fight back i tried but i can't take it
you're an expert when you fake it
even though the love's been gone there's still traces

give me a chance ft. noxiousnights (mackk)

self-prod

ibleedicare - https://soundcloud.com/slaughter-tone-records
epitome - https://soundcloud.com/failure404
xipz - https://soundcloud.com/xipz_sad

Encore w/ IBleedicare, epitomeoffailure & lil XipZ

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘪𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭-𝘦𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘷𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥. 

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘯𝘰𝘸.

 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 - 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘪𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.

twenty eight degrees

@screwyounick
forgot 2 upload on soundcloud mb yall luv u

im hard2luv
lyrics: 

because i'm hard to love
i'm always feeling like im not enough
yeah not enough

yeah where were you when i lost my mind?
i tried to call you like a thousand times
and nothing ever works
everything just makes it worse
now i'll never feel okay
until i'm lying in a hearse

i don't think i'll ever be okay
who am i kidding
i've always been this way
and i only ever seem to fall down
i can't ever get back up
seems like all i ever do is fuck shit up
they toss me aside cause i'm not enough

i just wish i could be enough
and i just wish that i wasn't so damn

hard to love
i'm always feeling like i am not enough
yeah not enough

yeah where were you when i lost my mind
i tried to call you like a thousand times
yeah nothing ever works
everything just makes it worse
now i'll never feel okay
until i'm lying in a hearse

hard2luv [+dercept]

grief

grief ft. Teddyboi (branwen)

Big thanks to @carlby for being on this one. Mixing this was hard, because no matter what I did, everything I did to my mix made it sound worse. It got to a point where I basically just said "screw it, it's never gonna be good enough, I'm gonna drop it just how it is" so I hope you guys enjoy my suffering xD

Like A Forest Fire(Feat. Carlby) | Prod. HeyRick

self-prod

Look at the problem it's you, 
Girl you know that it is true, 
Got all these bands and they blue. 
That's also what I have been too. 
Big money, 
Big heart, 
Big depression, 
Restart. 
Sip shit, 
Go hard. 
I broke, 
My start. 
Crashing the car, 
And the whip got a limp. 
Bumps on my back, 
I got acne on skin. 
He better than me, 
I got nothing on him. 
But shit imma flex, 
Either way I been lit. 
Big cups, 
Chase it with regret. 
40 fucking ounce, 
Take it to my head. 

I been going crazy, 
I been going hard, 
I been fucking bitches, 
But I know I'm not a star. 
I been getting big cheques, 
I can't drive a car. 
I been going crazy in the back, 
I'm going hard. (x2)

Tell me she hate me, 
Don't doubt it, 
I'm crowded, 
By mouths, 
That be saying I'm drowning, 
In clout, 
I don't need nothing else, 
Here around. 
I just need me, 
And the sound. 
Voices can rattle, 
Belittle, 
And I'm in the middle, 
Of argument, 
I cannot pick, 
Who's in the right, 
Who's in the wrong, 
Really don't know all that shit. 
I just want dividends, 
Splits and a cheque. 
I just got water on me, 
Check my neck. 
Fucking these bitches, 
And I get em wet. 
Only one girl, 
But the others want it. 
Ain't chase a drink, 
So I won't chase a bitch.
Only chasing dreams, 
That shit is real, 
Get off my dick.

I been going crazy, 
I been going hard, 
I been fucking bitches, 
But I know I'm not a star. 
I been getting big cheques, 
I can't drive a car. 
I been going crazy in the back, 
I'm going hard.

Pull up on me, 
Let it buss. 
Pull up on me, 
Bitch you suck. 
You better duck, 
I keep it tucked, 
Spraying you bitches, 
I been number one. 
Ten rounds in this blicky. 
I been blowing up, 
Bitch im fucking playboi crizzy. 
This is my world, 
This is my life, 
This is my girl, 
Sipping on sprite, 
Pussy real tight, 
Fuck every night, 
She want it hard, 
I'm saying alright. 
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, 
I got the money on me. 
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, 
You acting funny to me. 
Now I been doing my thing, 
Now I pull on your bitch. 
She asking you for a ring, 
It shine when she stroking my dick. 
You say you ain't fuck with the kid, 
Still you been bumping my shit. 
I'm better than every clique, 
Trust me you ain't getting in. 

I been going crazy, 
I been going hard, 
I been fucking bitches, 
But I know I'm not a star. 
I been getting big cheques, 
I can't drive a car. 
I been going crazy in the back, 
I'm going hard. (x2)

Going Hard

featuring @skrxwd
produced by @afterlife66 & @jolst
engineered by @marcdoesmusic

LYRICS
say my name
(only say I love you, when nobody's around you)
when you can
(wish I didn't want you, even though I want to)
say my name
when you feel me in your veins
say my name
(only say baby I love you when nobody's around you)

there's something missing without you
the sunlight's missing from my room
I stay up late with the blood moon
the notes I kept smell just like you
I lost the way, wasn't just you I was heading down this road anyway
I still replay, every memory just like you'd play me green day

say my name
(only say I love you, when nobody's around you)
when you can
(wish I didn't want you, even though I want to)
say my name
when you feel me in your veins
say my name
(only say baby I love you when nobody's around you)

I can't even front, I fucking miss you
telling everyone you're scared I might diss you
still upset but I just wanna kiss you
hit my line, anytime, not an issue
you don't even care
whether I'm here or there
I'll never be what you want, yeah I'm aware
everything feels like a chore, watch the rain pour
why'd you have to even up the score?

say my name
(only say I love you, when nobody's around you)
when you can
(wish I didn't want you, even though I want to)
say my name
when you feel me in your veins
say my name
(only say baby I love you when nobody's around you)

Temporary

Crizzy White