rare haunts, pt. i

everything you say sound like a lie
everything you say and i know why
'cause you say it with your mouth and not your eyes
and i cant tell if you even realize
this is not the slow dance you fantasized
it never was

i am not the person in your head
but i was still created for a test
the variables tell me how to act
and sing and dance
and cry and scream
and laugh
to be a human in your arms, at that
is that so bad?

and when you see me on the big screen
on the TV
are you looking at me?
watching
looking closely
pay attention
i'm your favorite movie
when you know the script like
it's your own life
you can mouth the words
and when you say you love me
do you mean it?
'cause you sound so unsure lately
lately
all the ratings
they've been falling
'cause the acting's getting lazy
unrealistic
'cause the actor is distracted

i am not against a change of faith
but i know that you know that i'm too weak
to do it all again
this stupid song
and coordinated nation sweeping dance
at the very least i had a chance
can we stay friends

and when you see me on the big screen
on the TV
are you looking at me?
watching
looking closely
pay attention
i'm your favorite movie
when you know the script like
it's your own life
you can mouth the words
and when you say you love me
do you mean it?
'cause you sound so unsure lately
lately
all the ratings
they've been falling
'cause the acting's getting lazy
unrealistic
'cause the actor is distracted

tell me
do you want me?
do you think i'm worth your time?
oh please just tell me
maybe someday isn't as far away as it seems
or maybe it lives in my dreams

tell me
do you want me?
do you think i'm worth your time?
oh please just tell me
maybe someday isn't as far away as it seems
or maybe it lives in my dreams

tell me
do you love me?
if you mean it
live your life
and if that means that you're not a soulmate
you're a best friend
i guess that's alright with me
but god
my heart hurts as it beats
oh

and when you see me on the big screen
on the TV
are you looking at me?
watching
looking closely
pay attention
i'm your favorite movie
when you know the script like
it's your own life
you can mouth the words
and when you say you love me
do you mean it?
'cause you sound so unsure lately
lately
all the ratings
they've been falling
'cause the acting's getting lazy
unrealistic
'cause the actor is addicted

the actor

I'd go through my motions
She'd roll up a joint
Something didn't click, I'd be feeling blue
She told me that I'm useless
Said, "Baby, what's the point?"
How can I still trust that she's something new?

Words don't scratch the surface
Pain's stuck on my tongue
My scars need time for healing
The smoke still coats my lungs
You still have an ego
And I'm still just a bitch
I'm still just a bitch

I feel that things are worsening
My blood, it boils, it's curdling
Feelings so deep are surfacing
I lurch, my stomach's turning

Think of the past, I'm circling
Of all the love and worshiping
I'm drowning, I'm gurgling
It can't get worse from here

They're not the same (they're not the same)
They're not the same as you, it can't be true (it can't be true)
They're not the same (they're not the same)
They're not the same (they're not the same)
So why's my brain stuck?

If you saw me (saw me)
You didn't (you didn't)
I'm different (different)
Persistent (I am)
I'm driven (vroom)
And not about to look back

The gears and the pistons
Are grinding, just listen
My heart is saying stop
(Heart is saying stop)

I'd go through my motions
She'd roll up a joint
Something didn't click, I'd be feeling blue
She told me that I'm useless
Said, "Baby, what's the point?"
How can I still trust that she's something new?

Words don't scratch the surface
Pain's stuck on my tongue
My scars need time for healing
The smoke still coats my lungs
You still have an ego
And I'm still just a bitch
I'm still just a bitch

So, as I was saying
54320
I wonder just how high this plane can go
Until the pressure makes it explode
Hello, hello, hello

I feel things are worsening
Hold you back from breaking things
You know I don't wanna be your guard dog
But I gotta be
Fuck, I gotta talk myself out of this crush
Think I might have been in love with you

Crushing daisies in my hands
To ignite them in my head
Yeah, I think my soul is growing up
But now my heart is dead
Yeah, I saw you in my dreams
But I'd bet I'm imagining you

It's not your fault
It's not your fault
It's not your fault
It's not your fault

I know you saw
How I fell apart
And I won't fall for you

54320 (feat. DJ Re:Code)

lovely aka fire away (feat. Jedwill)

8 months in my head (feat. goji!)

brand new rainbow

[LYRICS]:

Wake up every morning and I hope that they not attacking me
Do you really like me or is it just an act of blasphemy?
Worry about my numbers, didn't see that you were past me
If I had a therapist, they probably would laugh at me

N-N-N-N-No friends, no heart
No friends, no heart
I'm right back at the start
I don't try, shit's too hard
Wishing, shooting star
It won't happen anyway
Didn't think I'd get this far
They won't notice anyway

Everybody eating, where's my plate?
I'm on a different level, different landscape
And I get discouraged so easily
There's no denying that there's something wrong with me
Jealousy is a disease and I'm dying slowly
And I won't feel it anyway, don't bother trying to hold me
Nobody ask if I'm ok cause you know the answer
(Why when I call you don't answer?)

Another new sad song every other week
Nobody wanna listen except me
They want me for my beats but they don't want me
All I want is for people to accept me
All I want is for people to look at me
And not think of that song from last week
Talk too much again, delete my messages before you can see

Wake up every morning and I hope that they not attacking me
Do you really like me or is it just an act of blasphemy?
Worry about my numbers, didn't see that you were past me
If I had a therapist, they probably would laugh at me

No friends, no heart
No friends, no heart
I'm right back at the start
I don't try, shit's too hard
Wishing, shooting star
It won't happen anyway
Didn't think I'd get this far
They won't notice anyway

No friends, no heart
No friends, no heart
I'm right back at the start
I don't try, shit's too hard
Wishing, shooting star
It won't happen anyway
Didn't think I'd get this far
They won't notice anyway

DAMnn #bRUuv what U DanCin for??? w @breakchild

sewn together by a thousand threads
a project by angel jelly

1. didn't mean				(june 2022)
2. enemy					(august 2022)
3. too deep				(december 2022)
4. coffin					(october 2023)
5. no one will want you		(february 2023)
6. still love my baby		(june 2023)

"too deep" features additional vocals from donttrustlando
"coffin" features live bass performed by america loves me
cover arts and photography by america loves me

12.31.23

didn't mean

prod me // art halo

blood seeps through my eyes
cutting holes in my disguise
damn like who am I 
feeling numb from all the crying
I still want my heart
hear it when it beats I can't
seem to hold it back
blood falls from my chest my hands

falls my chest my hands
blood fall from my chest my my my
falls my chest my hands
falls my chest my
falls my chest my hands
blood fall from my chest my my my
falls my chest my hands
falls my chest my

blood seeps through my eyes
cutting holes in my disguise
damn like who am I 
feeling numb from all the crying
I still want my heart
hear it when it beats I can't- 
seem to hold it back
blood falls from my chest my hands

I can't breathe here now
I'll try to 
find you
hold my chest open
you hold it
hold me 
tear me open hold me
say you won't stop till it's gone
it seeps outward I feel
you take it all from me

falls my chest my hands
blood fall from my chest my my my
falls my chest my hands
falls my chest my
falls my chest my hands
blood fall from my chest my my my
falls my chest my hands
falls my chest my

blood seeps through my eyes
cutting holes in my disguise
damn like who am I 
feeling numb from all the crying
I still want my heart
hear it when it beats I can't
seem to hold it back
blood falls from my chest my hands

spotify

cutter

[ARTIST DESCRIPTION]

Decided to try a couple new things out for this track, including recording vocals for the first time in a while!!!

[LYRICS]

don't ever call my phone
i just wanna be alone
alone, i just wanna be alone
alone, alone
so don't ever call my phone (my phone)

flash backward, when i was a teen
got my first number, it came with a screen (hey yo)
feelin so alive, or so it seemed
little did i know that shit would ruin everything (oh no)
turns out, the number was old though
got a couple texts, like "kathrine, where did you go?"
please, you got the wrong one, but they just keep on
callin me, textin me, botherin me, and i'm so fucking done

i'm not pickin up that phone
just tryna get some sleep and now you won't leave me alone (oh no)
walkin through my room, like where'd it go?
hangin up before i could decline you on my own (oh no)
i don't wanna pick it up
not another spam call, i'm like what the fuck, oh no
answerin machine like, hey what's up?
stumblin my words, nah i think i'll just hang up, the

phone, my phone
no don't ever call my phone,
my phone, my phone
i just wanna be alone
alone, alone
i'm not even that well-known
well-known, alone
so DON'T EVER CALL MY PHONE!

i'm not pickin up that phone
even when i need to, i get scared of dial tone (oh no)
i just get too worried on my own
parents make appointments for me, yeah it's sad i know
i don't wanna pick it up
i get fuckin anxious when i talk, yeah i get stuck
AuDHD, i'm outta luck
damn i'm just not built for this so i never pick up, my

phone, my phone
no don't ever call my phone,
my phone, my phone
i just wanna be alone
alone, alone
i'm not even that well-known
well-known, alone
so don't ever call my phone

jish! - DON'T CALL MY PHONE

https://soundcloud.com/starrynn/serious
https://soundcloud.com/starrynn
https://soundcloud.com/trustt
https://soundcloud.com/zeromandia30414
https://soundcloud.com/idks3lfish

starry w/ trustt - serious [wone flip]

PostDatPic

100 racks

doona [prod. satuko]

Stream/Download: https://DogShowRecords.ffm.to/None 

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Spencer Adventure 2

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8 months in my head (feat. goji!)

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