Zavodila With Lyrics - By Juno Songs

-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fHLoH6F13c

The Kevin Bennett as Pico
RecD as Blitzo
Fightmarker as Boyfriend (CAMEO)

Pico:
Way back in 1999, was breaking new grounds
Now in 2022, still breaking Newgrounds
I’ve graduated and you’ve just entered the school grounds
You think you’re Tricky, but I’m the one killing you, clown (look)
You better can it, fool, you’re lookin’ like Cassandra junior
I’ll blam and school ya with my gang of shooters
When I make that A.K. pop, ain’t no motherfucker stanning Loona
There go at least 90% of all the fans that viewed ya
I see a goth kid, turn off the business shtick
And I’m dropping sicker shit than your daughter’s syphilis
Tell that dog to listen, sit, shake a paw, then send a hit
To her jaw and split the bitch like her pa’s relationships
Now I’ve just gotta burn some lead to get the crowd Funkin’
This man’s known for turnin’ heads - so quit the owl fucking
My trauma ain’t half as bad as what’s in that head of yours
I thought I saw a real opponent - that’s Blitzophrenia

Blitzo:
Okay, first of all, it’s Blitz, pipsqueak, don’t fuckin’ try it
Like the viewers when this bitch speaks, the “O” is silent
Now, I may be a demon, but your creator is fucked
What kind of freak thinks “Hmm, Columbine’s not racist enough!”
You fucking edge lord, that shit’s like a razor blade
And then when Funkin’ blew up, you were too risque to play
Until ninjamuffin said “fuck it, let’s just make him gay”
Your story, your preference - man, not even your As are straight
Aww, you think I’d feel bad and comfort you through this?
Bitch, you are an ass-ass-in, I don’t give two shits
You used to be badass, quit pandering to kids
Adding thousands of oblivious toddlers to lists
Now I see why your father - didn’t want ya - took the fast lane
I fucked your daddy - then I’m outtie - that’s a Flash bang
You’re the virgin version to the chad Piconjo, it’s true
I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but you probably do
Although you’re not who I pegged to try to top me
Like Millie with a strap-on in bed, that takes Moxxie, kid
So if things don’t work out as the officer of your hood school
I’d like to hire you - as my personal footstool

Pico:
Take on this kid from Columbine, I’ll stand you all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
A MAC-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
And that’s your whole group of furries shot up all at one time, ‘cuz I’m

Pico & Boyfriend:
(PICO!) 
The one and only
You’re a cheap clone of me, like Fizzaroli
You left him behind and ran away from the sideshow
Now you’re second fiddle to Hazbin Hotel, still in the side show
Sister in rehab, Stolas left divorced and depressed
And with your job, I’m losing count of all the homes that you’ve wrecked
Everybody that you mistreated has now scorned you and left
And when you’re killed, not a single soul will be mourning your death


Blitzo:
Oh, go cry to your Kickstarter, you precious nerd
I’m shocked you didn’t add a stretch goal for that second verse
You should kill yourself now! You cringe ass Nene baby
Like Darnell, I’m spitting fire, don’t Play games with me
Ever since Tankman invaded, your site has tanked, man
Nowadays you’re just some nostalgic hipster’s spank bank
Dipshit, you wasted my time, I hope you had fun
I’d damn your ginger soul to hell, if you had one

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Beat prod. by FLOCKABOI
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb
Coverart Artwork by Valonide
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal & Sebb

Blitzo vs Pico - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. II)

Freshy Kanal - Frodo Baggins Vs. Ancient Egyptians Rap Battle Ft. Freeced, LittleFlecks & More

Since Jake always posts his songs' vocals and instrumental individually, I thought I'd play with it and make my own edited version of it (added couple harmonies and sound effects), and I'm pretty proud of it so I'm sharing it with the rest of the fandom. AMAZING song!
NOTE: This song is NOT mine, I just (kind of) remixed it. All credit goes to TeamNeutron.

Only One Way | Jakeneutron | (My Edited Fan-Version)

AAAHHH BIG AHHH REMIX FEATURING BIG AHH PEEPS!!!

Into the Pit (FNAF Remix/Cover) [feat: longestsoloever & KryFuZe]

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
Mei Xin Bierzynski as Yuri
garbageGothic as Susie
JustGamer as Ralsei

Yuri:
Eh...? A guest..?
Well, I better make some tea...
So that I can spill it when you're stepping up to me!
Ah-
I didn't mean it!
I just... can't steady my heart...
It's just when i rap, my body gets incrediblyyyyyyyy hëÂŨĐ±ŒđĨËLĸĀñȔĨtÕÌü¾Œ×ŦÙȚß
To find who has the better ink, I will lead
Fighting a writer, but I don't even think you can read
Lizard with the ripped jeans and a raccoon on her head
I'm guessing by your dress, you don't get a lot of bread
Who cares about this brat?
I don't even want to look at you
Drop you like a manual from Ralsei, throw the book at you!
Drop you like a card king, have you folding in this fight
Drop you in the Dark World, call that Ghost Under The Light

Susie:
When I cared to tune into your rap, I was impressed
Didn't think you'd have a verse more padded than your chest
But you know that I'll take no L's against a sissy goth
Quiet people pissing over poems really piss me off!
Heh, maybe I misinterpreted what a face off was
You don't got bite in your lines
Dumbass, I ate the chalk
Like, come on!
Only thing you do with pens is–
Wait, she WHAT?!
Dang, i just might be on Natsuki's side:
I may throw up!
Face it, punk, I took the beat and ate it up, and I'm still hungry
I'll rob you of your chocolates
Not that I'm worried you might see
You're such a dummy, Ralsei's songs have done more to excite me
So treat this battle like I cut my finger; freakin' bite me!

Yuri:
Hhhh... You should have kept those bangs over your eyes...
It doesn't take a third eye to see your demise...
You're a pussy
In an alley... not much you have to eat...
Why don't you go off looking for quarters with Natsuki?

Susie:
That third eye calling must be garbage noise, cause that was trash
Also, you only have two eyes
Dumbass!
I'm out here finding worlds, I'm in the goddamn prophecy
You're just the kind of nerd that I shove into lockers, I'm a beast!
I could swallow a box of chalk and I'll feel like Susiezilla
I will Markov your Portrait when your face is chewed and spit up
Disarm you like C. Round
That's a checkmate, so stop it
Cause I'm sure I'm doing better things than you are in the closet

Yuri:
I've had it with your accusations and sickening attitude
You can brag what that ax can do after I'm done stabbing you
If my heart stops, it'll be the one heart attack here that succeeds
Indulge in your dark, roaring fantasies, lets see where that will lead
He couldn't take the edge of my blade...
So you can't handle me
Expendable as Yoshi to your friend
Hope they command you eat so many apples that you fucking die from all the rancid seeds
And then you turn to dust and fade away like a sandy beach
You stand deceased, Lancer and your family
Your fantasies, a cancer in your soul
A soul that's God, a God's abandoned tree
A tree sprouting ideas
A confession, an eye yet to see
A thought composed of clocks composed of gears composed of memories
An ember made of negative degrees
A snake that wants to eat a snake that wants to feed
A shaking hand, a hand that wants to breathe
A reaching set of times collide from empty seas of red
A being breaking and remaking time and space
A deep regret, a wheel, a wheel that breathes
A breathing zombie's bleeding thought forgot to breathe
A breathing father's beeping monitor
A bleeding somber sleep
A God that breathes, a breathing watch
A beating heart, a watching beat
A breathing verse, a bleeding lyric
YOU'LL SEE EVERYBODY BLEEDS!

Susie vs. Yuri. DGPRB.

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
Mr. Tibbs as The Neighbor
GamingPlush64 as Wally Darling

The Neighbor:
Get off my lawn, kid. I think you mistook me
Be it browsers or the scouts, I'm not interested in cookies
Don't ask me for a cup of sugar, you little poser
I'll choke you out like cinnamon; stick your grin up on simming posters
Rip you open; have you swimming with the fishes on the second floor
Get your corpse, and then trash you like Oscar
Scummy muppet, I'll be blunt, I will not be less hostile
Just because the net's bananas for your fruity ass roster
I see a home invader. There's tomatoеs, glue and bear traps at their feet
You'd invitе 'em in and use 'em just to stare at, like a creep! (Urghh)
Theres only one track that's fit for Wally
And it's wrapping 'round my house; strap him in the patch of my trolly!
I don't care about your show, and I don't care how your paintings look
I know your episodes ain't running, but I think you maybe should
I'm no Mr Rogers, I'll off you if you're in Raven Brooks
Get back in your home and get the fuck outta my neighbourhood

Wally Darling:
Hello Neighbor
How are you today?
Have you finally ceased from your screaming fit?
Well, here's the sitch
I've had this on lock before you even clicked
Don't even need to part my lips and...
I eat the beat up quick
Believe me, Mr. Peterson, I know who I am dealing with;
A clown who's house looks like it was ripped out of Dr. Seuss...
Or was it Edith Finch?
Ha, ha... I forgot the words...
Maybe that's why we're paired; everyone forgot who we were
Your angry barking's almost as funny as Barnaby
But it went down hill like your Betas; the numbers are hard to read
I think someone's just upset their games ain't getting them views
Or you're jealous that I dress as a better devil than you (Ooh)
I'm the host! I'm the most! I'm the Goat! Like I'm Baphomet!
My guestbook's at its limits. Say, are you enjoyed by MatPat yet?
Not so beautiful dreamer. Deluded to think you stay giant
Just close your eyes, and next time you see me?
Stay quiet

The Neighbor:
I'd get my keys and my BB gun locked and loaded
Spritz your index down like windex, leaving all your windows broken
Hit you with my car, smoke you like your cigarette packets
But all it takes to crash your page is internet traffic!
Your Build is Tiny when compared to my contract
Lemme get a shovel; give you more than eye contact
No restoration project's gonna aid Pinnochio
When you're six feet under my property
How's that for "so below"?

Wally Darling:
You just kept adding stories. A new one every time we blink
Yet the highest praise you get was: "that's good... I think..."
Maybe stay away from cars: last time you drove, your wife was slaughtered
And then, like our own fallen star, your son pushed down your daughter! (Oh!)
I've got friends at every end; you've no one left to love you
Even if you think I'm garbage, it still means I rise above you
This AI tried adapting, but again, he got outsmarted
Homie, your house just ain't hard enough
Home is where the heart is!

Hello Neighbor vs. Welcome Home. DGPRB.

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
OtterBoyVA as Rambley the Raccoon
Adult Male #3, American English (truvoice) as Kinito

Rambley the Raccoon:
Wait a minute! I don't have you in my database
I assumed that you were Kirby with your pink and basic face
And on the mic, I know you'll "suck". You don't write flames
While I'll kill it on the track! ...cause I like trains
Building bots and bikes and bears for your buds is tedious
So slow and robotic, it makes sense your voice is TTS
KinitoPET? More like Ki-need-to PET-tle away
Cause I'm already in your "best friend's" FPS games
Since my first chapter, the internet says I'm a hit
Raccoons like trash, sure, but you're for the recycle bin
Indi-going nuts with flow, I got this in the bag
Evеn the way that you deal with bodies is a drag
You rеally wanna brag but your accomplishments are nothing
Oh, you have a second monitor? I got 'em in the dozens!
So make like a door and shut it 'cause you're bound to get it wrong
We all know this ends with me having the better song

Kinito:
Nice to meet you, I'm KinitoPET. I'd love to be your friend
But I detect I'm expected to be mean instead
This is so free, it's like your code is open source
What's a "kingdom's faithful devotee" to a Trojan Horse?
I drop more than hot singles when you step onto my webpage
I'm opening terminals while you need help to open gates
Here's what your address says: 20 Ballpoint Avenue
Anaheim, California, and that isn't all I have on you
Look at your reflection, I can turn on cams
And like every theme park, you're full of off-brands
You'll never be Disneyland with your structures all crumbling
While all you need to get me "up and running" is double-click
I can make it really hurt, no cure for my virus
When I let off steam, I get off Steam, and leave people silenced
Mu-mu-murder your friends, and then kill you for good
I'm not gonna do it... Just know that I could

Rambley the Raccoon:
Yeesh, lyin' mascots never stop with ranting, do they?
I make every "diss count" like a Rambley Tuesday!
You're so co-dependent with your need for bonding, Bonzi
But you don't address it, instead you just attempt to dox me
But the park has open arms to any friend that'd want to visit!
There's even a space for you: Finley would find you delicious
It's ironic, in this battle, you have no legs to stand on
I will make you see MDs, not talking command prompts

Kinito:
Don't talk smack to the axolotl that has the admin access
I spit raw and off the top like Mollie Macaw: have you crashing
Popped out of an egg, now I'm scrambling Rambley
Mess him up until he fits in with his shambling family
Your chapter falls flat because my stories got soul
No one to console you... I open the console
Click the X, close the tab, get the battle done
And with him out of the way... Let's have everlasting fun...

Rambley the Raccoon vs. Kinito. DGPRB.

FNAF SL - I Can't Fix You [Metal Ver.] - The Living Tombstone (Cover By Caleb Hyles)

Urban Legend Rap Battles is a side series hosted on Eddie's Rap Channel featuring characters of modern and ancient folklore alike. Characters from Creepypasta, Cryptozoology, the SCP Foundation, Folklore, Gaming Mythos and more are all permitted.

(This battle went from conception to release in almost exactly one week. It's just a little bonus to celebrate the new year. We all want to forget 2020 ever happened and move forward, and these characters symbolize that feeling perfectly.)

GamingPlush64 as Goner Kid
Snakebite126 as Bloody GIR

Goner Kid:
Have you ever thought about a world in which you don’t exist?
A world where Jhonen didn’t probe this gorey picture to show to kids?
A world where he didn’t throw a fit and stick you into episodes of Zim?
A world where you shone on Nick and weren’t forced to shill for Netflix?
A world where your show went from cult classic to legendary
A world where your execs weren’t forced to scrap it for ratings 
It terrifies me… but that timeline is now gone, and well,
When it comes to your cash flow… It’s Raining Somewhere Else
An easter egg in the background with opacity all the way down will not make viewers squeal
And it’s certainly pertinent that your entire cult fanbase can’t even agree when you’re real
So best check your Fun Value ‘cuz I think your show is a bore and Nick’s golden boy does it way better
You’ve got no umbrella to cover your shame on the mic under my reign, so let’s just forget this

Bloody GIR:
You’re weird. (hmmm) in dire need of some self esteem
‘Cuz your bars just keep missing - call you MC number seventeen
You’re already so pale, guess this kid’s lightweight
Well, I’ll turn you Bloody too ‘cuz you’re In my way.
No Undyne to save you - my rhymes with scathe you
While you hide away and lie in wait to
Occupy a day you find a human to whine and complain to
‘Bout how your timeline hates you - while I just make do
You can find my face by brightening frames and I’m gracing who I’m opaque to
And on a beat I spit
Your burns are just taking the piss - Gonorrhea Kid
It’s Bloody GIR - I be thuggin’ runnin’ a clean verse
I gave my show a claim to fame - you just muddied yours

Goner Kid:
I told you to forget me… I do not want to face you...
Please get this battle’s editor to digitally replace you...
Your Followers have moved on… you’re no longer their CORE...
Make like your fanbase and don’t think about this anymore...

Bloody GIR:
Don’t like my appearance? Well, check the other fourteen
I take the dub, you’re taking after W. D.
Your talent must’ve been what Gaster Dark, Darker, Yet Darker Harvested
You sucked so hard they should rename you to Hyper Goner Kid

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Coverart by Rabi
Mixed and Mastered by adroitwhiz
Illustrated by BMB
Beat prod. by Ihaksi