Seeking refuge in the rain
Melt me down, I feel the pain
And you're calling me insane
I question everything
Is this even real?
Am I really okay?

I can't understand how you feel
I can't understand how I feel
Everything around feels surreal
Everything around me is sealed

Pen to the paper I'm writing
All of the words that I never got out
Hooked at the mouth
Wasted, just sitting around 
I realize this now

Call it a foul
Screaming "I'm lost" till I'm found
Empty echos are rattling the crowd
Empty eyes as I fall to the ground
No one around to save me
Is this really a "fate" thing
Born to this world with the same creed
Get me out
Get me out
No one around to save me

Can someone please
Explain to me
How it's really meant to be
Can someone please
Explain to me
How it's really meant to be

Can't get away from me
Cycling endlessly
Swirling with memories
How would I change
People surrounding me
Thinking the best of me
Put up a front
Cause It's not for your hate

Silently judging me
Never could follow me
Say I can run but I'm losing the chase
Say I'm a waste
Closing the case
Cause I am seeking

Seeking refuge in the rain
Melt me down, I feel the pain
And you're calling me insane
I question everything
Is this even real?
Am I really okay?

But I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
To face my fears again
But I'll try, I'll try, I'll try
To face it all again

refuge in the rain [prod. smokerose]

I need some clarity
These thoughts are closing in
No, I need some clarity
To see inside my head

Everything I cared for
Stood for, is here
Clouded by
The minds eye, I fear
I'll lose control again

I can't lose you again
I'm running out of time
I won't hold it over me
I just need some clarity

Is it all worth fighting for?
I just need some clarity
and I feel it to my core

I just need some clarity
I Need some parity
I need a life worth living for
Started gettin scared of me
Or what I could be
A monster a knocking at your door

Say that I will fall at night
Sometimes I close my eyes
Thoughts of endings, 
Thoughts of torn

And then I think of a
passaged time
Where I had the right person 
beside me through the dark

I need some clarity
These thoughts are closing in
No, I need some clarity
To see inside my head

Everything I cared for
Stood for, is here

Clarity [Prod. IOF]

Do you ever feel like you're struggling?
Do you ever feel like there's nothing left?
Like there's nothing left
Nothing to gain or get
Like there's nothing here

Do you feel you're struggling?
As you're walking through a crowd you feel a loneliness?
Can you feel how I feel, groups of heartless
Like a darkness, 
shadowing over till it's consumsed us
Cause I feel like I'm struggling

Toxic traits are following
Gain my happiness from others now
Feel it fade, and slip away
As soon as I'm all by myself

Do you think of suicide?
Cause It's been here a while
Scared to hurt around you
Not scared to hurt yourself..
Swear I'm not alone now
So why does it feel this way

Why does it feel this way?
Lost in this world, blank space
Holding on, I'm holding on
I hope you're holding with me too


Do you ever feel like you're struggling?
Do you ever feel like there's nothing left?
Like theres nothing left
Nothing to gain or get
Like there's nothing here

Do you feel you're struggling?
As you're walking through a crowd you feel a loneliness?
Can you feel how I feel, groups of heartless
Like a darkness, 
shadowing over till it's consumsed us
Cause I feel like I'm struggling
(struggling, struggling, struggling, Cause I feel like I'm struggling)
(struggling, struggling, struggling, Cause I feel like I'm struggling)

i hope you're okay, when you are by yourself [prod. sketchmyname]

So long
It's been so long
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being
What I wanted
Innocence 
Is never growing
It's always taken
Calling of the fallen
Never stayed here

Never stayed here
Never lived here
Surrounded by myself
And all the tears here
Never wanted
To be forgotten
But here I am, here I am
With a lost stare

It just pulls you down
To the underground
Drags you round n round
Till it wears you out
Taking in the fallout
Till you're frail around
The centers out
Can't get out of bed now
Lost the drive to feel now
It just takes you out, it just takes you down

Takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know
When it
Takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know

Can't get up to fight
Can't get down at night
Swear it's bout that time
To start another life,
Run at quarter time
Takes so much to try
Running out of time
Running out of hope,
For another life

Another life
So long
So long
So long for another life
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being

When it takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know
When it
Takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know

(So long
It's been so long
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being
What I wanted
Innocence 
Is never growing
It's always taken
Calling of the fallen
Never stayed here)

So long
It's been so long
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being
What I wanted
Innocence 
Is never growing
It's always taken
Calling of the fallen
Never stayed here

take me down [prod. Isak C]

Forget it all
Can't keep up, not new enough
No one knew, its not your fault
Cannot sleep, I'm staying up
No energy to live at all

Forget it all
Can't keep up, not new enough
No one knew, its not your fault
Cannot sleep, I'm staying up
No energy to live at all

Can't stop failing
So fucked, waiting
For my dreams to come true
For the noose to cut loose
Can't I think

I can make it?
Exposed, im naked
You all know about me,
But I dont know about you
I guess thats my fate.

I'm emjaay, im 22
I've been living my life with you
You know more secrets than I do
Cause I've been writing for you.

Whats my sound now? Grown
Slowly getting outta lows
Knockin four crows 
Off the shoulders, left a note
It aint wrong
Falling up, never listen, never not told
I come off cold, I come off low
And its all in my head
But I still struggle to get out of bed
Find peace in silence, I'd rather be dead
Please piece it together, inside my head

Forget it all
Can't keep up, not new enough
No one knew, its not your fault
Cannot sleep, I'm staying up
No energy to live at all

Forget it all
Can't keep up, not new enough
No one knew, its not your fault
Cannot sleep, I'm staying up
No energy to live at all

cannot sleep, im staying up [prod. HXRXKILLER]

we're going nowhere [prod. IVYPROD]

"As we go on, and we try hard
Will it all be worth it in the end?
As we split paths, and we move on
Will it all just work out in the end?
When we die young, say its too short
Will we remember or forget
I think its beautiful, how the time past us
That we're all gonna forget"

As we go on.. [prod. jewelryboy]

Ay, ay
Don't go
Ay, ay 
Stay home
ay, ay
Don't know - 
I've just held my tounge, now im really letting go

Ay, ay
Rough start
I'mma tell you bout my past the current and future
Ay, ay
First page, imma take it slow and set the scene
For the first take

Condense it all, put it all up on the plate
I've falling out this story but I'll try to set it straight
I've been struggling to write, so whats it better than my fate?

On this day,
Was a fault
Wired up to think Im wrong
Went alone, faked my own
2 were close, one was lost

Fell apart, single road
Couple years I started up
Writing music for my own, put it out to help me grow

Now one of two killed his way to bar the scene (bar the scene)
And two of two is slowly moving on like me, like me
I say thats all, and I never wanted more
That's a lie, 
deny anxiety
deny anxiety 

Ay, ay
Don't go
Ay, ay 
Stay home
ay, ay
Don't know - 
I've just held my tounge, now im really letting go

Ay, ay
Next path
I'mma tell you bout the recent and what affected me the most
Ay, ay
Flip the page, imma take it slow and set the scene
For the second take

Slowly, felt the need to isolate
Something hurts its torturing
Took some time, I'm not the same
Changed me and they noticed it

Save me
I can't lose sight, out of mind
Save me
I'm holding..
I fall away..

ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay [prod. irby]

How the fuck am I supposed to live, I've been struggling
Aint no heaven coming, I've always sinned, and its weighing in
Alone and in my mind again, I've never fit
Into a crowd, a stranger itch

Smirking behind me, I feel all your eyes on me
Know that im different, thats nothing to single me out

Not a single word, hearing it loud
Laugh at me then, laugh at me now
Jaw locked
Eyes shot
Quit it you're fooling around

Nothing to change your fate
Already closed the gate
Engrained in my brain again
Only the words you say,
so why'd it stay?
so why'd it stay?

I cant control all thats inside
Doesn't mean I havent tried
Put my life at risk too many,
too many times

Blacked out from drugs,
Tryna feel something I want
So close.
Tryna find some place thats home
Everybody tries to

Bring you down just a notch
Want to see you fall,
Slowly I've just learnt
That you hold your own
You can find peace on your own, 
Wasted so many years scared of myself
And what I thought was here
And what I thought was here

Somebody is following me,
And I feel all the shadowing beings
It's scaring me
What if it's all in my mind and imaginary
What if I'm slowly just losing my sanity
Hold up,
I'm scared of it honestly, 
Self and the enemy
Was it all just to myself 
from the start of things?
Something I've known
No

Was me?
Was It always me...?

How the fuck am I supposed to live, I've been struggling
Aint no heaven coming, I've always sinned, and its weighing in
Alone and in my mind again, I've never fit
Into a crowd, a stranger itch

Smirking behind me, I feel all your eyes on me
Know that im different, thats nothing to single me out

Not a single word, hearing it loud
Laugh at me then, laugh at me now
Jaw locked
Eyes shot
Quit it you're fooling around

Nothing to change your fate
Already closed the gate
Engrained in my brain again
Only the words you say,
so why'd it stay?
so why'd it stay?

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE? [prod. Kubsy]

I've been so torn, and I'm so worn
I can't give it, when it's needed
Emotionless
Through the feelings
I'm so sorry
That I can't feel at all

That I can't feel at all
Like theres blanks through my soul
Like I'm looking right through you,
No, It's not that at all

Wishing I could've known
How to break down it all
Processing, and showing
That I'm feeling it too.

Start the light
Now steady guide me right
I know I'll fail you time and a time and again
That's not a lie

Started moonlight
Where I'd lose my mind
You'd be there to sweep up the pieces
Just to put them right.

Take the pieces, tape them tight.
Felt it all, I lost the time
I lost myself I lost my life
Guessing where I'd hope for mine
Anxiety is on your mind
I never thought it at the time
I put you through it all the time
Still here and showing sides

I won't lie

I can't feel it
I can't feel it
It's destinctive, like its seeping
I can't help it
I can't help this
And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

I realize I can though,
It just needs to be through here
And I realize that I dont
Understand it all fully
And it's probably frustrating
It's the only thing I keep
And I know now it's truthful
That these things that I'm writing
Don't fault.

That I can't feel at all
Like theres blanks through my soul
Like I'm looking right through you,
No, It's not that at all

Wishing I could've known
How to break down it all
Processing, and showing
That I'm feeling it too.

I can't feel it.. [prod. moonlight]

Hold me me down
Lost around
Where's the sound
It's deadly loud
Fall, the ground
Aint strong enough for me

And I look in the mirror
And I say to myself

My own life aint nothin but plastic
Wrapped around in layers full of fake shit
You dont think I see through those eyes bitch
You dont know me cause i aint shown shit

Falling further, another statistic
Another number to chart for these dipshits
Nothin changing, I see it all daily
Fuck it all, it aint worth shit

Fuck, how the fuck are we supposed to go on?
How are we sustaining relationships & love?
All these toxins coming through my lungs
I'm throwing up

Tough luck
Tough luck
Tough luck
Tough luck

Aint nowhere for someone to go
Who's feeling down and really alone
I know it too well I've been there myself
And now I'm so stuck through limbo of health

How the fuck you gonna go?
Under life terms and suffer alone?
Flipping up the cross its evil I know
Worst inside that I had 
its taken me to a low

Fuck, how the fuck are we supposed to go on?
How are we sustaining relationships & love?
All these toxins coming through my lungs
I'm throwing up

Tough luck
Tough luck
Tough luck
Tough luck
FUCK
Tough luck
Tough luck
Tough luck
Tough luck

TOUGH LUCK! [prod. TECHNOLOGY]

Wish I could feel again
I know it's inside my head
I know I should forget
But I've been hating the reflection in the mirror 
more and more again
more and more again

Wish I could feel again
I know it's inside my head
I know I should forget
But I've been hating the reflection in the mirror 
more and more again
more and more again

Swear I've been trying
Not succeeding
Abuse emotions
Lay in seedings
Leech while bleeding
Heavy breathing
Take a step back
When I'm lonely

When I'm lonely
It sinks in slowly
Realize it all
Is a phony
Happiness 
Is just a smoke screen
Keeps me hazy 
Till I see through
Wish I could

Wish I could feel again
I know it's inside my head
I know I should forget
But I've been hating the reflection in the mirror 
more and more again
more and more again

Wish I could feel again
I know it's inside my head
I know I should forget
But I've been hating the reflection in the mirror 
more and more again
more and more again

wish I could feel again.. [prod. toolate]

Space Princess [softheart cover]

Both sides, staring from the outside
Catch you on the port side,
I dont wanna retry
I dont want my "out" back
I just wanna keep track
Struggling to post that
Know you wanna hear that again

Jaw locked,
Calling for a saving of my own mind
Falling into pieces by the lost time
Turning into silence through the grapevines.

Pick it up, and again
Take a fall, out of breath
All alone in my den
For a soul I can have

Still im sat all alone, 
with some truth to my soul
If I fall out of line
Will you take it to hold?

Will you take it to hold?
Will you take it to hold?
Will take me to home, will you show me to love?
With a faith, imitate everything I have known
Can you save me from death, or from being alone?

Slowly lose my life
Stay here, like for like
Keep on slowing time
I see you,
Staring from the outside.

FROM THE OUTSIDE [prod. dercept]

Blank face staring back thru the mirror
Wish I knew where to find another picture
Cold frost lurks through the other window
Damn, I'll never understand how to end up

Try to crash memories but they're all gone
Try to live through the pain but im so lost
Say I cant come back, but ive come up?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say now?

TAKE MY SOUL
TAKE MY ALL,
TAKE MY ALL, NOW
TIME TO FALL
NOTHER GHOST
IN MY OWN HOUSE

BROKEN MENTAL, IN THE ZONE
IN MY SAFE SPACE -
TRANSFORM, CODE NEVER LEFT ME
NOTHA TASTE FROM THE ORG TRYNA PLACE ME
TIME I GET A FORWARD ON MY OWN PACE

STAY ALONE, ALL THE TIME
DOES IT HELP ME?
FORGOT WHATS ITS LIKE
TO FEEL AGAIN.
TO FEEL AGAIN.
UGH, EY

Blank face staring back thru the mirror
Wish I knew where to find another picture
Cold frost lurks through the other window
Damn, I'll never understand how to end up

Try to crash memories but they're all gone
Try to live through the pain but im so lost
Say I cant come back, but ive come up?
What ya say, what ya say, what ya say now?

I've dug through my pockets, and come up empty...

IDLEGLANCE

I've dug through my pockets, and come up empty... [prod. purc]

ＴＲＡＳＨ 新 ドラゴン

WASTE TIME!

When I lied, it was all for you
When I tried, gave it all to you
Jaded eyes, can I make it through
The faded highs, the silent nights

When I lied, it was all for you
When I tried, gave it all to you
Jaded eyes, can I make it through
The faded highs, the silent nights

No, oh

Cause when I fall asleep
Everything just start to seem
Like a tunnel closing at the seams 
(At the seams)

But I've made my mind up now
Feeling up when I'm feeling down
It's time to shine
The time is mine
Gonna grind it till I hit the
Ground
Listen to my sound
Still feeling like I've, drowned
Still play it when I'm frowned

no, oh
no, oh
no, oh
no, oh

When I fall asleep 
And my chest feels deep
I keep trailing down the darkest road
Trailing down the path I chose

Hating now, the things I see	
Breaking out the chains are free
Waiting for the time to show
I'll never give up, never let go

Can I not fall again
Can I not follow it
Can I not fall away
(Fall away)
I wanna show you how
I will just take you down
The darkest road
The hollow shows, no
Wait
I'll be at the gate
Showing up at 8'
Platform 5, just missed the train
Just missed the train

When I lied, it was all for you
When I tried, gave it all to you
Jaded eyes, can I make it through
The faded highs, the silent nights

Spotify

when i fall asleep [prod. VITALS]

Time bomb
Let my light start
Looking at the stars
Look how bright they are

I see future
In these sudden dreams
Then I wake up
To reality

Time bomb
Let my light start
Looking at the stars
Look how bright they are

I see future
In these sudden dreams
Then I wake up
To reality
 
Running in circles my mind prison
The key to the exit, is hidden within him 
I know where I'm going but end in beginnings
Is there truth in the lies if I knew where you hid them

I'm falling away and I'm out of this time
It comes from within and its eating inside
The memories I had are all lost in this mind
The memories I had are all lost in this mind

Cause I can't help myself no more
I'm burning up, it's in my core
These dreams I have, they're wanting more
And I'm fading away

Time bomb blow me away
To a space where there's no pain
Longer life means longer fate
Shut the door and close the gates

Time bomb
Let my light start
Looking at the stars
Look how bright they are

I see future
In these sudden dreams
Then I wake up
To reality

Time bomb
Let my light start
Looking at the stars
Look how bright they are

I see future
In these sudden dreams
Then I wake up
To reality

time bomb [prod. sketchmyname & vaegud]

Another one lost to dark
Please stop, please stop
This ones enough
I cant keep sane with all I've done

(With all I've done, with all I've done)

Another one lost to the plague
It rots the mind and leaves you slave
Take all these drugs, you'll be okay

(Cause I see)

Hopelessness is in your eyes
Will you run, or will you fight?
Are you lost, are you alright?
All these questions, in your mind 
Do you feel the dark like me?
Can you feel it in your being?
 
Ones like us
Holding on  
Out of trust
Lock the doors
The parasite
Is at our feet
Infected thoughts
What can you see?

Ones like us
Holding on  
Out of trust
Lock the doors
The parasite
Is at our feet
Infected thoughts
And I can see

Another one has lost their mind
Nobody helped, they're out of time
Will you remember when they're gone?

(Cause I see)

Hopelessness is in your eyes
Will you run, or will you fight?
Are you lost, are you alright?
All these questions, in your mind 
Do you feel the dark like me?
Can you feel it in your being?

Hopelessness is in your eyes
Will you run, or will you fight?
Are you lost, are you alright?
All these questions, in your mind 
Do you feel the dark like me?
Can you feel it in your being?

No, no.

hopeless [prod. sketchmyname & vaegud]

Hold me, down again
I've lost it, I've lost a friend
I'm stuck in, this mindset
I'm stuck in, my own debt

Cause we're falling, we're falling away  
And I called it, from a mile away
Warnings show, it overflows
Should've known, cause we're

Doomed
Slowly fate is
Doomed
And I feel like we're
Doomed
Cause I feel like we're doomed
Cause I feel like we're doomed
We're doomed

When stars collide, hold me tight
Into the darkness, we will glide
Close the story, It's the end
Are we sorry?
Do we regret?

All our choices and our mistakes
Once our moment, left in vain
What a waste of a life, what a waste of our time

Future of sorrow, can we repair?
Don't leave till tomorrow, today is still here
I know its been harder, but we cant give up
We cant give up, cause we are

Doomed
Slowly fate is
Doomed
And I feel like we're
Doomed
Cause I feel like we're doomed
Cause I feel like we're doomed
We're doomed

doomed [prod. Raspo]

Remember when, you came in?
Remember when, the phone rang?
It's 3:00AM, it's okay
Here comes Ma, I'm hurting

The on man the phone
I said was a joke
"He's suicidal" no, ma its not true

Are you okay son
Said "Yes Ma, I am"
I lie through my teeth
Just to keep my light sane

She burst down in tears
I held myself back
Give reassurance?
I lay down instead..

"I'm doing just fine Ma, was just a mistake"
"The people online, they're just giving me hate"

It's just a mistake
It's just a mistake
(I feel like dying alone)
It's just a mistake

When my thoughts were my own
It was just a mistake
And I felt torn in two
My soul feeling blank
I really wanna live
My mind giving hate
(It was just a mistake, It was just a mistake..)

I just kept plodding
My head kept on nodding
The darkness behind me
Was ready to feast

Don't care to look back now
Just want out this deep hell
The thoughts of some pills
Getting closer to me

But you could see
That I was hurting
And you could be
The saving grace
I'll tell you what Ma
The man was right
The man on the phone
I needed that night..

The on man the phone
I said was a joke
"He's suicidal" no, Ma its not true

Are you okay son
Said "yes Ma, I am"
I lie through my teeth
Just to keep my light sane

She burst down in tears
I held myself back
Give reassurance?
I lay down instead..

"I'm doing just fine Ma, was just a mistake"
"The people online, they're just giving me hate"

It's just a mistake
It's just a mistake
(I feel like dying alone)
It's just a mistake

3:00AM [prod. K A F K A]

[prod. Fantom]
[mixed and mastered. doski]
Locked down
Every single feeling that I have for you is locked down
Tryna find myself through the mist but I am lost now
I cant be myself, till the chain is broken
Locked down
Maybe with a little help, I'm able to 

I'm locked down
Every single promise that I break is getting wrote down
Slowly losing feeling from the parabolic thoughts now
I wish that you could understand
I wish that you could understand

Cause I'm out for the last time
Fought up but he's one line, ahead of me now
Nobody helped but, its too late, good luck
It's up to me now

Know many millions
Who've fallen before me,
Takes a strong force to break me down
To break me down

Will you remember
Not just me but all of these soldiers
I hope that you've taken these as lessons, so you can help others
And when I'm gone then I hope that these lyrics, will leave me with honour 
Cause I dont wanna be remembered as the one that surrendered

Cause I feel
I've let you down
But I hope
That you'll forgive me now
I left a note
I know
I'm in a better place

Locked down
Every single feeling that I have for you is locked down
Tryna find myself through the mist but I am lost now
I cant be myself, till the chain is broken
Locked down
Maybe with a little help, I'm able to 

I'm locked down
Every single promise that I break is getting wrote down
Slowly losing feeling from the parabolic thoughts now
I wish that you could understand
I wish that you could understand

Locked down
Every single feeling that was locked down
Tryna find myself but I am lost now
I can't be myself cause I am locked down  
I'm locked down

Locked down
Every single promise that I wrote down
Slowly losing feeling from my thoughts now
I wish that you could understand
I wish that you could understand

locked down [prod. Fantom]

Meaningless lyrics, did this to experiment and have fun.
Outside of my normal style, but I hope you guys enjoy :)

so take it slow
just ripped the soul
just let me go
the center folds
it takes it toll
nowhere to go
you say its cold
you're staying low
you're breaking bones
empty soul the grave is all
you've ever known

taking 2 steps you're backing
i see your footsteps im tracking
I see emotion you're lacking
I see you fall away

drawing blood with a knife
I'll start by taking your life
gripping to death in the night
I see you fall away

Come snapping bones I can show that
low blow to the chest I can strike back
pull up to the show with a full pack
you dont know when I blow you'll be stabbed back
say you reap what you sown but
I can see that you aint going nowhere
make like a fool when you run back
sliping down in a pool of your blood, ha

gripping the grasp of a soul
you better know, 
I'll be taking it all
hit a new low
this path that I chose
it aint for me anymore

slippery slope
down to the floor
im taking it all
with me to fall
you aint anymore
ayy 

so take it slow
just ripped the soul
just let me go
the centre folds
it takes it toll
nowhere to go
you say its cold
you're staying low
you're breaking bones
empty soul the grave is all
you've ever known

Grasp of a soul [prod. goodwill]

I hope I did this great song justice, had a bit of fun making it.

Thanks for all the support as always guys ❤

You're Somebody Else [flora cash cover]

Toxic memories
Following me
Can't get rid of them
Stuck inside my dreams
I got a thousand thoughts
No answers appear to be
What it seems
What it seems
Push the seam, what could it be?

Toxic memories
Following me
Can't get rid of them
Stuck inside my dreams
I got a thousand thoughts
No answers appear to be
What it seems
What it seems
Push the seam, what could it be?

Question -
Everything I'm seeing, is it all apart of me?
Something calling me, it's tearing all the paths for me
I don't know whether to go for it
Tighten my throat and I'm choking it
Stop me from falling to early
I feel like its lurking
The shadows surrounding me
Saying that nothing is worth it, no

Let me fall
Rip my soul
Cut the noose
Just let me go
To another world
Lonely
I'm in the cold
Dug the hole
Take it deeper
I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Why do I feel like I make these mistakes
Wake up in daylight end up in pain
Take all these meds and you'll just feel okay
Try to hide it, It resides in
Toxic memories

Yeah, Still it follows me
Like a shadow in the street
Can't get up, I'm dragging feet
It's all in my head
Can't get out of bed
Another day I fear
Close my eyes, in despair
What's the motive
To be here
Where's the moment
To be here
What's the hopeless that I feel
I don't wanna take it early
But is recently it appeared
Go through phases, I can take it
Till the day It wins me over
Sorry to the people that I let down
I don't want to hurt them now

Toxic memories
Following me
Can't get rid of them
Stuck inside my dreams
I got a thousand thoughts
No answers appear to be
What it seems
What it seems
Push the seam, what could it be?

Toxic memories [prod. doski]

Take me to a wonderland
Keep me from falling into hell
Save me from myself again
Lately I've been giving in

Taking all of these pills again
Doctor tells me its illusions, they're all in my head
Something tells me the walls are slowly caving in
Vivid memories of a time where I would love this end

Slowly making paths
Dark halls lead to bright lands
Chained to beings in
Voided memories
 
Calls to 
All of the people that doubted me now
Yours true
emjaay is back and he's making it loud
Your fault?
Bitch I would place all the blame on myself 
I know
That I wouldn't make it without all this crowd

Sitting awake
Flashes of all of the takes
Dreams that don't fade
Won't go away
Won't go away

Stay in my lane
Myself that I pray
The future I wanted
With effort is made
With effort is made
Don't want it fade
Want it fade

Was a slap to the face
Put me back, put me back to the place
That I feared most
That I tried most
To stay away from, 
And you know its true 

Always stayed awake
Till the sunlight breaks
4:00am turned work to sleep
broke the chains I'm free
Wish it called to me
A void so empty
As I see I'm falling

I can feel it fall away
I can feel it fall away
Can it get out of the way
I can feel another day
I can feel another day
Going to waste
Let a dream fly away
Young jaay seal your fate
Think its time to face
Challenges made
Make it a pace
Make it to wonderland

Make it to wonderland
Make it to wonderland

Take me to a wonderland
Keep me from falling into hell
Save me from myself again
Lately I've been giving in

Wonderland [prod. smokerose]

[emjaay]
You suddenly
Wanna fall away
Spite the love you gave
Suffering
All these years I've been
Wanting what you never gave
Wondering, what it could've been
All these years without you
Cause it seems
Like you'll never be
Whats in my memories

You wouldn't see
The blinding light
That's calling me
Like movie scenes
They're on repeat
I can't break free
They're haunting me
They're haunting me

[Rivilin]
Yeah I'm the absent background kid in school
Thinking bout how I'm gonna tell you How I'm gonna break through
Get used, pushed around easily
You grabbed me by the collar and drag me out

To where the valleys and the oceans meet
A place beyond the pines where you love to look at me
Paint me perfect, a portrait and cut out my flaws
I can feel the sweat crawling down my pores

Yeah I'm always having conversations with myself
Its the stress, anxiety, depression it's never mentioned
Of what it feels like to go through this unless you have it
I don't wanna understand it, I wanna be normal

So don't call me I won't answer
Left the dial tones, and repeat you're a cancer
That Lights me up like it's 4th of July
I guess I always knew that my life was a lie

[emjaay]
You suddenly, you suddenly, you suddenly
You suddenly
Wanna fall away
Spite the love you gave
Suffering
All these years I've been
Wanting what you never gave
Wondering, what it could've been
All these years without you
Cause it seems
Like you'll never be
Whats in my memories

You wouldn't see
The blinding light
That's calling me
Like movie scenes
They're on repeat
I can't break free
They're haunting me
They're haunting me

Wondering what it could've been ft. Rivilin [prod. BLADE901]

Stuck at a crossroads
Not easy to find where the path goes 
Hearing the voices of past ghosts
They lie to me now, what would I know?

Flicking the light bulb
The darkness consumes all that I know
Said I was stuck in a cycle
Took longer to realize but I know now

It's not easy to find it
So lost in, 
Dreams that I'm finding
Why do I feel so confided
I burnt the page
I cannot see where to love again

So easy to hide it
Shadows I've left, they're behind me
Look back I feel my heart sink in to nothingness
I cannot see where to bury pain

Cold in here
But I'm so damn done
With all this harm
Made a fool again
With my mistakes
So it's all my fault
Pointing the finger
It's right in my face
Such a disgrace  
Pointing the finger
It's right in my face
Such a disgrace

Drift into ether, cause I'm a believer
That souls can be deeper, starting to feel it
The pain getting steeper, till I leave forever

Why do they say that, pain is so temporary
When its all that I've known
So fucked, its affecting me

It's not easy to find it
So lost in, 
Dreams that I'm finding
Why do I feel so confided
I burnt the page
I cannot see where to love again

So easy to hide it
Shadows I've left, they're behind me
Look back I feel my heart sink in to nothingness
I cannot see where to bury pain

Crossroads [prod. APT.102]

What is real?
What you feel?
What you see?
Do you think,
About your past
And where you've been?

Visualize
The broken times
In your sleep
Call it back
To broken nights
Inside your dreams

Cause I've thinking a lot
Regretting the choices that broke all the trust around me
Snapping pencils in class
The sadness and anger was pushing the absent cracked seams
Want the living to last
Feel it get harder, my soul drifting further from me
Want this nightmare to end
Feel like I'm fine till I'm sitting alone with the trees

Burn in the breeze
While you're staring at me
Watch as the world comes down
Crashing on me

Suffocating the life from me
Scattered ashes in seas
Because I'll fucking leave my mark before I fall away
Causing things that you feel
And it carries the pain
In all the things that I'm saying
This is my effigy

(This is my effigy)

Encapsulate the memories
Twisted thoughts, use them as you experiments
Never really thought of trauma that's impairing me
Looking back, never thought of all the mental things

It's getting cold you say
Glow on your face as I fall away
Wake with a smile and it fades away
Photos of pasts seem to call to me
Call to me

Calling to something
In past was in love in
The music's emotion
Breaks over this ocean  
The pains in this life
Seem to take over night
Broken thoughts in the mind
Of the helpless tonight

I think the future is something you seal
I think a calling is something you feel
I think the pain is a lash that you heal
Alone in the trees, all these voices I hear
As I burn

Burn in the breeze
While you're staring at me
Watch as the world comes down
Crashing on me

Suffocating the life from me
Scattered ashes in seas
Because I'll fucking leave my mark before I fall away
Causing things that you feel
And it carries the pain
In all the things that I'm saying
This is my effigy

Alone in the trees [prod. APT.102]

Video: https://youtu.be/NO4V1Q39VEE

Broken Frost
Broken Frost
Broken Frost
Broken Frost

I tried, 
I tried to save you 
(But I failed)
I tried, I tried
I tried to save you..
(But I failed)
 
I see, that you struggled to sleep
I feel, all confusion in dreams
So lost, in the world that you see
I'm so lost..

Never happened to me
Holding at seams
It's all in my mind again
The pain that I see
I won't forget the way you looked at me
Hurt inside, fuck the life we live
Fuck the life we live

Last message left unread
Broken frost is left unsaid
Never left you from my head
Never left you from my head

Broken frost
I'll hold my tongue 
I can't forgive in you now..
For what you've done

Pushed too far away now
Too late to be saved now
I wish I could've seen you one last time.
One last time.

Broken Frost
Broken Frost
Broken Frost
Broken Frost

I tried, 
I tried to save you 
(But I failed)
I tried, I tried
I tried to save you..
(But I failed)

broken [prod. Wraith Nîr]

Remake of one of my first ever songs from the ASTRAL EP.

Did this for fun, bought back some good memories.

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