patterns

spotify ^w^

katamari +blackwinterwells prod. blossom

[@sanriorose]
[@tgwog]

u came for free i hate it
give and take i trade it
i could never replay it
n u cud never repay it
oh my god im so faded
n i dont think i cud make it
bleeding out u can take it <3
im laying down on the pavement

i cant ignore it, falling for it
ur sitting dormant, i cant afford it
fall for me again i know it
im srry i cant control it :c

oh no u left me alone again
oh no i hope i didnt lose a friend
oh woah but thats the way it goes i guess
solo its just another cold regret ;-;

i wanna be different from u
i feel like im spitting in two
i wish i knew how to tell u
everything i wish i didnt do

oh no u left me alone again
oh no i think i rlly lost a friend
oh woah but thats the way it goes i guess
solo i promise that i wont forget :(((((

thats the way it goes i guess prod. dolly & tgwog

@prodpitfall
prod me + @kojowav

[pitfall]
red and blue pills
like its 3d
copy what i do 
like a cd
take another 2
it aint easy 
yeah they follow what i do they wanna b me 

really i dont pay attention
can u please get the fuck up out my mentions 
h&k it got extentions
on the top of the roof with intervention

[emo]
go, go away
i dont feel okay ;~;
i wont do what u say
cant wait, theres no delay..

we're falling out
i tried 2 calm u down
its just me left now :c
im slowly bleeding out :c

u always wore me down :(
its so dark n its storming out
hollow eyes watching snow fall down o__o
its no surprise that i dont know how ._. 

[pitfall]
its just me vs. me
walk in n i spend about 3
cant decide who to be
ill stick around but i cant guarantee

shout out uly thats my bro, forever
she say that we dont talk alot, i think its for the better
i just wish i could forget her
yeah i think im lucky walkin round i got horseshoes on my sweater

i feel like im sg, can u blame me?
i dont keep a xd, im the same me 
and if u wanna feature gotta pay me
yeah im past all that shit I know u hate me

i dont feel okay +pitfall prod. emorave & kojo

@kggn @litothedon

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

im falling 4 it
i cant feel,, ignore it
where do i store it
i rlly wanna die but i cant afford it

nothings real i cant sleep uhhuh
no one hears what i speak uhhuh
i dnt care just delete oh well
life i cannot complete oh well

i cant run away cuz its selfish
ik its not healthy, ur not helping
im not ready for the fire that hell brings
im tired, im aching, i cant make it

so go and take it
all those smiles, i faked it
i thought ur love was sacred
i just sat there and waited

idk what u want
1 conflict im gone
i can barely walk
i dnt wanna talk, will u stop
i didnt think id make it this long

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

falling 4 it prod. kuru & litothedon

prod @twikipedia

i think its over but i dont know
everyones staring i wanna go
something is broken inside my soul
leave me outside within the cold

i cant make it to the weekend
i cant swim n im in the deep end
will u save me well it depends
crack u open like a keygen

i feel like throwing up
i cant rid of this feeling so i think im giving up
who am i kidding everyone knows im not worth saving
no im not gon listen when u tell me that im the bitter one 
im stuck with this sickness inside of me i feel like throwing up

ahaa but at least we going up
ahaa i fed u lies but u dont know at all
ahaa but idc it doesnt matter now
ahaa u r the last thing i wud think about

keep me inside
keep me online
myself i cant find
but i been waiting in line

i got infinite time
u pushed me aside
now is now im alive
im never letting me die

its everything
im panicking
im serious
im paranoid

lemme hear ur voice
ive been destroyed
cut me open
fill the void

deep end prod. twikipedia

prod me and @delto
ft @mental

[lyrics]
it depends,,, didnt do it right but thats okay ill try again.. i dont rlly wanna fall asleep, ill lay in bed,,,,.,.., guess ill lay awake and think about my life instead. i cant run away cuz ur just stuck inside my head

i dont get the point cuz everyone will all be dead,, dont think ill forget about everything that u said,,,,,,,every week i get myself into another mess.. but its all the same, loss and gain, more or less

you cant fool me twice, i control it!ice frozen, idk ur motive,, i got shit to do but i cant focus. idk him so hes getting ghosted....talk, talk, talk, do u ever stop posting? you have no thoughts of ur own stop posing.. you must think i like you, i was joking,, i cant stop idk where im going,,

hollow +mental prod. emorave & delto

ft @swagtastic666 @xxsyris
prod me

[swag]
bring the drugs in the club lemme chop it
off a xan im a zombie like richtofen
ive been smokin way too loud you hear me coughin
and i've been hangin out with emo so we locked in

and i've been hangin out with scene girls, mean girls, the meanest
i can't tell you how it feels but i know that i need it
shordy snortin way too much her nose just started bleeding
shordy snortin way too much while perkies double teamin

she said wow i like your eyeliner, thank you very much
i get shy around them pretty girls, you see it when i blush
got them thighs on with stripes on, give a little touch
give a side eye, i like him, but i think too much

yeah i'm thinkin way too
yeah i'm thinkin way too
yeah i'm thinkin way too
much 

[emorave]
can u kiss my lips again so i know im still alive
at the club with swag and katie yea we do this every night
u wont get my preset cuz i mix it different every time
pull up to the rave with like 6 guys yea its just my life

im on haight st with wastey
famous like im eighty
u think im a clone yea idc like lazy
get another check i stack it up it doesnt phase me
nothing matters in the end cuz all they do is praise me

yea they praise me
yea they love me
look up in the sky and what always sits above me
all i see is nothing
please just give me something
dont know what to do im so scared of what is coming

ill be fine, if ur always mine
dont look at the time, just stare into my eyes
breath in all the light, take away my life
never leave my side, i dont wanna die

[syris]
take a fuckin knife, slit my throat
i dont wanna be here
plz dont tell me that you lied
you already know my fears
yah they can watch us
but they cant get near
this love so replacable
i drop a tearr
hahaha tell me is it true now:/
blahblahblahblah wat u wanna do now
i dont care about this shit aymore
take my gun nd ill fukcin meet u at the door
bby im just playing maybe im not tho
i know that you hate me
but ur still my wife ho
takin over blowin up i get so emotional
i know i said id take you but you gotta go

fuck this +swag & syris

@cdgrl

[lyrics]
let me inside, angel wings white, you make me cry
back road, no street lights, cover your sight, telling you lies
dark night bleached eyes, make my teeth white, i cant see right
cut ties, blood covered ice, bring me to life, heaven's too bright

guess i can forget if i want to
bless me when i'm dead, i want you
dread, i'm scared, no breath, upset
confess my sins ill rest what haunts you

put me to sleep, down on my knees
roll up my sleeve, make myself bleed
keep myself real, make the time freeze
count while i breathe, keep me safe please

keep me safe please, wanna be real
make this time freeze
keep me safe please
keep me safe please
can we stay real?
can i stay here?
can i stay please?

i see right through it, look at nothing no music
sleep life i'm lucid, watch days go by its fluid

evil structures around me
slipping, black ice, i'm drowning
scary dreamlike surroundings
subaru, lights off, recounting

nosebleed, drowsy, u left without me, cant live without it
cold hands, slow dance, open doors, i'm broken

-

can you believe it?

lucid prod. cdgirl

track 7/7
prod me
ft @xxsyris

-
[emo:]
whered u go wheres my phone i dont wanna know
i feel slow i cant think take a adderall
count it 1 2 3 i cant count it all
u want smth from me? i dont care at all :p

im with wellsy taking care of business
get it out my system dont think i can fix this
its sold out? idc im on the guest list
dont look at my dms cuz im giving shawty kisses

spazz spazz kitty cat!
in the club im doing that
spazz, shawty in my lap!
poser ur a fuckin drag

spazz spazz kitty cat!
fly to sfo and back!
spazz, aww u look sad
lonely with no fuckin cash!

[syris:]
fuck ur girl she a mutt in the nightclub
cry a lot cause u want me I don't give a fuck
love it when u throw up
watch me hit my glow up
gotta skinny bitch who gon suck me till i blow up

ya ya i hit my dance in my white tee
hate on me bby what u need you cant top me
steal all of my swag what they say oh ya that's copied
stepped into the scene so obscene you cant mock me

im the fashion queen rocking the moncler kicks
see me in the party serving girls
we got hella bricks
rip out ur heart and eat it i don't give a shit
lied when i said i need it
ur a silly bitch

syris watch ur fame ur so popular popular
step into the street see the crowd full of photographers
do u luv me now spazzzkityy new pornographer
we can overdose nd watch the stars life philosopher

spazzkitty ft. syris

track 7/7
prod me

-
[emo:]
i dont give a fuck go ahead and make fun of me
im a silly bitch in the club going crazy
they see that my music doing better so they hate me
i dont really care though i think its kinda funny

thank god for the money in my bank account woah
annoying fans in my dms i could do without those!
me n wellsy at margiela spending fuckin bands woah
emo shawty wanna fuck me i said come and dance hoe

at the function like they dont know im emorave
shawty asked me for the addy sorry i cant say
hit the party then we going to another place
she said imma piece of shit i told her OK

he asked if i could feature i said no way
I used to think that i Wouldnt see another day
with the bros smoking darts out in heavy rain
my entire life is fantasy its evergrace

pull up in a cute dress yea they jealous
free quinn nah im not talking kellin
she asked me whats in my bag but im not tellin
tall n skinny live forever bitch im elven

now we going out doors at eleven
we're not going back home till its seven
money longer yea my rax never ending
youd think im biden all these billions that im spending

im so glad im not broke
in new york, do a show
at a cafe with the bros
spend a thousand on a coat

emo bitch she on coke
she keep playin with her nose
they keep stealing my flows
all u do is scroll and post

i cant do it wrong every day i make a hit
made her favorite songs at the party getting lit
getting tired now, add some addy in the mix
on the dance floor shawty spin until she get sick

at the function like they dont know im emorave
shawty asked me for the addy sorry i cant say
hit the party then we going to another place
she said imma piece of shit i told her OK

he asked if i could feature i said no way
I used to think that i Wouldnt see another day
with the bros smoking darts out in heavy rain
my entire life is fantasy its evergrace

evergrace

prod me & @taylor

-
did it wrong
smoking fags in philly
i put u on
new pack im dizzy
keep me locked
in a different city
im super gone
doin lines of kitty

i wasnt sposed to keep trying
you fucked me over stop lying
cant stand the sound of you crying
took another dose now i'm flying

laying on the floor, feel like dying
goodbyes im gathering my things
feel nauseous, pain in my stomach
too fucked, cant read what im typing

give up, im giving
no hunger, wont eat
u cant control me
im always performing

last time swear to god
how im feeling feel lost
while you cut, cut me up
while i turn, turn it off

run me around
when i come down
cant be without
high in the clouds
cant hear a sound
i miss you now
bring me back down
bring me back down

dizzy prod. taylor morgan & emorave

prod us

-
im stuck inside of it, wont get out
xanax fill a cup with it, im barred out
ur fake when u fuck with it, no trust now
tonight im done with it, im safe now

we sip blue not mud
everfresh in my cup
hella snakes in cut
off the k now im up

spend a check just for fun
oh my god
chems in my blood
make it stop
fall asleep on her keyboard
good enough
i got blood on my sneakers
still i walk

everfresh ft. raithes

produced by me

-
wait for it
20 deep in the forest
gotta smoke a gram before recording
we gon leave if ur boring
true story
bought a gram for like 40
chill w bricks like a quarry
they gon scream my name they adore me

need a doctor
i been stuck in pain cant recover
feelings go away when i call her
please, i cant wait any longer

i dont act the same around people
cash american, bag illegal
i be chasing bread like a seagull
stuck in 2012 smoking diesel

can u teach me how cuz i cant get it down
hope its laced so i just feel my face on the ground
ud think that nobody would stay by now
move quiet, careful, don't make a sound

ill be gone
ill make sure u wont wait for long
huh, i'm ur dog
i hope u dont hate this song

i wudnt put it past me
look what u did are u happy
smoke gas down in cali
fuck fashion dress tacky

spent 50
taking lines till im dizzy
another pill could fix me
tell me i look pretty

i cant stay another day it'll break me
guess no one cares for my safety
if i tried to go, would you even chase me
take a pill, it's all i do lately

sour diesel

prod @yumenikki n @prodsoma

-
smoke chronic
im toxic
i promise
i want it

im lost bitch
im helpless
you hate me
im so selfish

i got what
i wanted
i want you
to love me

so foreign
but its taunting
im haunted
but i profit

i cry out
i miss you
im nothing
not with you

i wanted
to kiss you
smoke solvents
crush crystals

so simple
superficial
im elusive
in the middle

team helix
we fiscal
i nod off
in new york
-

inspired by chelsea

pull/toxic prod. freger & soma

@kiryano @taylor @sshinju

i dont wanna go
leave my home
did this on my own
need u no

i feel so alone
call my phone
prolly just decline
thats just how it goes  

idk
i change what i do
i change what i feel
i change me for you
im bulletproof

i took way too much
wna fuckin puke
throw the ball i run
wanna be with you

i dont wanna do it anymore
im in last place i dont keep score
off too much fallin imma hit the floor
im love with the pills i adore

u broke me to my core
i want it i want more
i watch you leave it hurts
i cant be ignored

thats just how it goes... ft. kiryano (tmo + shinju)

prod. @yumenikki @fleafriends

i dont wanna fix any problems
i dont have the power to solve them
stick it in the back of my headspace
everytime i get up i fall down

fall down, we dont really text we dont call now
call now, i dont really ball but i spazz out
spazz out, hell yea shawty got her ass out
ass out, all the pain i felt is in the past now

past now, paypal imma fuckin cash out
cash out, im so fuckin geeked up i passed out,
pass out, imma throw my heart in the trash now
trash out, only feel alive when im blacked out

blacked out windows imma hit the gas now
gassed up crabs in a bucket but i crawled out
crawl down, soft steps when i move at all now
all down, everything i know tear it all down

lonely, i feel like the only one here right now
breath so slowly im one with the ground
only feel present in walls made of sound
finders keepers i kept what i found

i just do what i know how to do

trash prod. freger & fleafriends

prod me & @cdgrl

i stay locked in
i hate writing
cant accomplish
what imtrying

im not lying
only to myself
i be crying
wanna kill myself

early well
is it early still
only love my pills
cashapp only real

stuck standing still
dont like bein real
dont wanna stop be real
i dont wanna feel

i feel bad enough i dont need yours too
itd be catastrophic if it fell through
i dont wanna lie dont wanna tell you
i dont wanna try, know i cant help you

hate the feeling you dont trust me
hate this feeling, do you love me
youre my favorite, so cut me
dreaming every night about you

i cant live without you
do i care about you
what do i amount to
id be dead if i aint found u

i cant say a single thing of value
i cant stop feel so bad without you
hold my breath u choose what to count to
want the fucking pills im not allowed to

        breathe when im sposed to
u can sleep on me but im gon wake you
nothing special bout me i cant save you
im so fucked scared im gonna break you

spotify

locked prod. emorave & cdgirl

uh huh  
im gone
i passed out
blacked out

wanna break out, leave me alone
first time
full dose

uh huh
im god
i cant stay long
i forgot

take another, it dont last long
please stop
im lost

uh huh
drippin blood
thats enough
on the run

cut urself
go on walks
gotta help
we can talk

never leave the block
always bad luck
i got bad blood
i cant choose love

i dont love shit
dont wanna be this
i cant focus
opiate fix

im so broken
i cant be fixed
treat me like shit
unsafe what i mix

different color pills
who cares what i feel
i dont wanna live
who cares if im real

chasing prod. jolst & cutspace

prod @kojowav and @5vexe

fuckin pipe down
molly roll make me bite down
soma pill turn to miltown
ur a bitch jus like millhouse

im addicted to pills now
really think ur a bitch now
i took more so im blissed out
ur so fake u got kicked out

illegal shit in my back pack
milligrams in my system
dirty money in my cashapp
when i speak they wan listen

molly rolling like a kickflip
mix a couple downers now im limpin
nodding off   tryna write this
shotgun foil smoke i like kissing

im light headed
cant take back what you said
take more till im almost dead
ur just like all the rest

take bars so i forget
im way too high feel blessed
im way too stuck in bed
you think im more, im less

ill take any pill i can get
i cant leave my house without some meds
real oxy it take my breath
off to much i feel nothing in my head

millhouse prod. kojo & 5v

prod @yumenikki

this song is from summer 2024 during a very difficult period in my life. i am doing much better now. thank you for listening!

lyrics:

i cant stay awake
perc got me delayed
racing cars down interstate
money in my paypal
i dont wanna wait
u make me feel safe
i can never leave this place
nothing left to say now

u dont really get me
like u never met me
want you to forget me
why would you not let me
i just wanna let go
numb my head wit benzos
i thought we were friends tho
u thought wed be friends no

i stare at the wall now
i forget my thoughts now
i do what i want now
i just wanna fall down
i just wanna lay down
want you at my place now
in the bed im facedown
want u in my face now

nod off in the greyhound
in another place now
i dont wanna go back
i hate to be home now
girl i want you here now
didnt wanna leave you
i just wanna see you
i just wanna feel u

i just dont fuck with this
i smoke gas in the crib
she dont like how i live
ill put u on the list
jus popped it out the blister
i dont want to be fixed
u were my favorite kiss
so why do i feel different

i stay up i dont know my limits
crushing pills up i wan feel it instant
yuh, way too fucked up i cant listen
put the black tar on foil, lighter, flick it

it had me fucked up but i miss it
i was living with you it was prison
you were doing it with me, decision
i didnt wan be in love so i fixed it

come get me prod. freger

prod @kggn & @1awliet

i stay lonely
bitch dont call me
i smoke plastic
you smoke broccoli
die soon prolly
roll like trolley
we gon tax him
i like money

ur not like me
i smoke oxy
pharma, pricy
u jus copy
tails like furry
get it so cheap
girl dont worry
i jus love sleep

i dont like you
i cant trust you
you dont know me
i cant love you
give her nose bleeds
im so pretty
schedule 1 bitch
keep it on me

hoes jus want me
ex dont block me
dont reply much
she jus hurt me
dont control me
high like always
i like cashapp
try to stop me

smoked too much now im a zombie
ilove downers so ur all above me
once its not cap they all judge me
i fucked up but try to trust me
got to deep now she dont love me
drag the razor hope it cut me
free drugs cuz they all wanna fuck me
stayed alive isnt it lovely

keep a cutter closely
she go down, below me
they dont really know me
stay up late i dont sleep
i stay gone im ghostly
shawty push up on me
fuck ur girl im sorry
she jus rly want me

i stay down in philly
bitch i feel like f1lthy
she like sober 4 weeks
i dont care not really
it wont ever kill me
i stay high i still geek
fallin thru the building
i dont leave the city

trolley prod. kuru & lawliet

prod @kggn @ginsengxx

leave me alone
just like everyone else does
i cant feel my bones
i dont really care if i overdose

i dont feel home
wanna throw up its too much
but i cant go
ill look half dead when i show up

i dont wanna grow up
i just wanna die you keep me alive
i dont wanna fly home
really fucking hate saying goodbye

really dont hate me
i was sure i saw it in your eyes
really cant blame you
sorry im so hard to trust

ill let myself out
dont try to help me
want to erase you
want to erase me
cant se my feelings
nothing has meaning
love to stop breathing
high on the ceiling

push ill stop pulling
im gone im going
im always lower
theres nothing growing
whats wrong with knowing
but when the phone rings
and i see ur name
everythings glowing

half dead prod. kuru & ginseng

im on too much oh my god
roll like truck ya only molly rock
im in pain ya so i nod off
sellin pills off fuck the law

so addicted i cant stop
u dont listen got it wrong
i roll pressure so im gone
i mix downers till i fall

im like so up off dis adderall
i dont move shit i just make the call
ur bitch love me treat me like a dog
stay euphoric, cant take a day off

im so stuck like i cant move at all
i got tolly so im off a lot
i take more cuz its always not enough
it went wrong cuz im finally outta luck

adderall prod. kuru & ivvys

go
cut
i cant be in love
trust
i cant take enough
stuck
i do not belong
fuck
where did we go wrong

wear the same clothes every single day
stop talking theres nothing left to say
dont wanna stop i just wanna be okay
im sorry ill never really change

go outside, walk for miles, im awake
im in lastplace dont care if im late
fall asleep cuz i really wanna stay
always thinkin bout u i cant stay away

you dont really care what i do
just as long as youre not there to see it
how the fuck else can i prove
that i really miss you i mean it

bleeding from my head to my shoes
makes me think of you so i keep it
dont u have the sense imma lose
this just makes me wanna keep secrets

where did i go wrong prod. 5v

it just don't cut it to hate it u gotta love it
explain it until its nothing u love it when ur the subject
pull us into your stomach and throw up into the bucket
in cover when ur in public u love to feel so above it

pull us into your nothing
sorry we saw it coming
sorry they saw it coming
you'll never get to stop running
u think you're so fucking cunning
flexing your victim budget
wait for ur friends to cut it
destroy yourself oh i love it

watch you keep up the cycle
all u wan be is viral
oh im so suicidal
look at my perfect smile
you act like a fucking child
cant pull me into your spiral
i know ur not in denial

wake up
ur so fucking stuck
im so fucking cut
hate your fucking guts
tell me loosen up
oh ur all i have
shut the fuck up
i gave you all i had
told me that id be dead
"if u don't come with us"
u make no fucking sense
act like ur 21
bitch ur like 28
grow the fuck up
ill say it to your face
dare u to show up

bridge burner / nothing learner

prod @rubbishrubbish

this 
again
go home
i know you know

its me
again
broke up 
my soul

no please
dont go
i need u
i know you know

i cant eat
decompose
so im free
from the pain

couldnt breath
on them beans
shoulda knew me
when i was clean

new me
emmie
is it me
is there me

oh god
its not enough
you cant save me ill break you down

what now
wake up
sunrise
new day

same pain
im still the same
im stuck in chains
cant get away

chains prod. rubbish

prod @rubbishrubbish

i jus dropped a pill in the drink i cant walk right
nodded off to much lost my breath i cant talk right
i cant let go wanna die but im terrified
i love you so much but we cant get the time right

see u tonight  
come close when the moods right
sleep holding u its too nice
scared to fuck it up i wanna do it right

i can never do it right
fuck my life up but it feels nice
orange oc 40 railed two lines
how u gon relapse over two lines

i dont feel so good about goodbyes
seconds i would live in for lifetimes
i dont wanna live by the guidelines
spend my fucking life in the sidelines

waste my time
try to act fine
shawty so fine
always ride with a crime
skye capture all our good times

20 milligrams imma sleep skip a whole day
ketamine in my leg got me flyin no way
i jus showed her my whole stash she like no way
i dont fuck with that sprayed shit i smoke propane

say it straight im not tryna play ur fkin mind games
i wake up take my pills try to have a good day
routine episodes dont waste ur energy
hate how much i love how i feel on amphetamines

its okay sometimes i feel okay
its okay shawty ull be okay
its okay we all gon be okay
when i hold u close i feel okay

we gon be okay
promise me youll stay
something in the way
i cant see my face
i just run away
but this time ill stay
time with you cant waste
i belong in places

different every day
wanna keep you safe
please dont walk away
need to see your face
i wont get in your way
all work and no play
i work just to stay
keep my head in place

fuck saying goodbye i want to live forever prod. rubbish

every day i be on the same shit
every day u be on some lame shit
how u gon split and not say shit
switches not no glocks im talkin faces
i think u was racist
tired of these bitches who think all this shit a game bitch
i jus pop lil pills n wake up in new places
i dont pop real shit all them xannies fake bitch

i need payment
u need pavement
u cant say shit
cuz then ill say shit
just the way it is
just the way it went
fuck with another girl u gon hit the pavement

i could make a call n get u bent yuh
never take another breath yuh
shawty fw my scent duh
how u gon smoke fent yuh
how u cant pay rent yuh
ion wanna see ur face again yuh
all ur bitches pillfriends yuh

how u gon have pills and pillfriends n still lose them yuh
u been down bad had so many chances how u still fucked them up
i jus wasnt gon be there n watch you fuck yo whole life up
how u let me do heroin just cuz u scared of me bein sad yuh
not a fuckin thing i could do to make u make good choices
u was always hearin voices
i know that shit hard but how u gon destroy me
know i had them warnings
but i was too young fried off them fuckin bars i was so avoidant
i be stuck inside my head be stressin bout the future
terrified im gon lose her
I wish I could just be with u when I want but I cant be a commuter
crush a pill up im a user
i was always so sure shit wud be okay thought i knew the future

crazy girls prod. rubbish

prod @rubbishrubbish

dont wake in the night
just dont leave ill show you im alright
gotta change my whole entire life
tired, i dont care, do this or you'll die
i dont wanna die

all i have is life
nobody can save me
distant, out of sight
fix it by my lonely
wake up called in bed
so i get up
dont know what comes next
it never let up

woah, woah
got a poem on my wall, yeah it let me know
got some friends, told me what i need to know
got some friends, they like ketamine i know
only hang with junkies, yeah i know
i think deep down it was getting old
i think deep down i already know
gotta hold on, stop letting go

stop, i cant think wrong
recognize think i hear the same song
paranoid think i hear something wrong
reminisce how didnt i see wrong
hear some kid tapping at the windows
see nothing when i turn my head tho
hear a noise coming from the kitchen
no ones downstairs in the kitchen

so i listen
lock my doors, curl up and i listen
i dont whats real and whats figments
used to be the one who could listen
used to be someone you could live with

now im stuck, lonely, cuz i give in
wake up sick sorry im just like this
wake up sick sorry gotta take this
didnt relapse yet im still winning
i can still feel im still living
feel my heart make sure its still beating
how can i show that im better
have some blind trust even if its fleeting

so depressed when i saw you leaving
pull apart, stessed, start seeing things
i talk way too fast i dont listen
i want you to know why it hurts now
show you why im at my worst now
i need eyes on all my worst hours
took away the pain it hurts now
watch me crash and burn i cry out

fleeting/leaving prod. rubbish

prod @rubbishrubbish

lost time ill never get that back
heart stopped when you looked at me like that
felt like ive never even been looked at
thought i lost you all but i got you back

i used to take it like i deserved that
after a bad day i deserve that
after some pain it felt like i earned that
but nobody ever fuckin deserves that

nobody ever really deserves shit
put on this planet get taken off it
all this behavior somehow i learned it
now somehow i gotta learn stop it

wake up and check my door i locked it
wake up and break my only promise
why did i think it would be instant
why dont i ever trust the process

why cant i ever just be honest
stupid girl, i wake feelin nauseous
stupid world, everything is garbage
stupid girl, you knew you were toxic

everything is stupid little bargains
do i do good or do i feel good
so i take paths of least resistance
end up in places full of sickness

stop that
step back
dont let back
i had to hear that

feel like i feel like im different
feel like i feel like i did it
didnt i, i just wan be in it
if im kidding ill end it all with quickness

if im kidding ill end it all with swiftness
i cant be present cuz then ill wreck it
demon i demon feel it hiding
why cant i cant express it

stupid world prod. rubbish

prod @rubbishrubbish

i dont wanna be alone again
i always end up like this
its always my fault
i lost control
let it all go
let it all go
i am poisonous stay away
legs restless so i stay awake
im used to this pain
useless, insane
always afraid
always afraid

instant attachment its dog life
redid the flow now its godlike
i can buy you anything u want like
i dont wanna die
hours i cried
sad so i roll and fuckin spark up
hate it when im wrong im fucking stuck up
if i dont know you shut the fuck up
i got bad luck
i do bad stuff

all this shit i do is really fucked up
i cant fuckin stop self destructing
such a bad habit that its part of me
please im dying
just need one thing
lie to you again i feel disgusting
how can i expect you to trust me
hold me fucking once and i start crushing
but you dont love me
you think im lusting

you assume i dont have real feelings
that i just play with u to feel things
you know nothing bout the pain that i deal with
i feel real shit
it just hit quick
mixin up the molly like some bisquick
feels like nothings ever gonna fix it
so much trauma i cant even list it
i dont fit in
not realistic

emorave

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