thank you to everyone that had a hand in this and for everyone who has been listening and showing support. I didnt know what to put for the genre since its a bunch of different ones so i chose pop idffk lol.

spotify:
apple:

i hate myself & i hate that i hate myself

spotify

i hate myself & i hate that i hate myself [p. back2thapast+sor]

original song
https://soundcloud.com/heylog/oblivious

lyrics:
still oblivious to what u like
took my head cut away for life
hoping you'll see, maybe notice the time
ur wasting, face it, i wanna make u mine
still oblivious to what u like
took my head cut away for life
hoping you'll see, maybe notice the time
ur wasting, face it, i wanna make u mine

fiending for love, don't know if i'll get it
my heart is growing numb, i can never feel it
and if u are the one, doubt i would know it
cause i'm too dumb to know what ur feelin
REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ME
WERE YOU JUST SAYING THAT CAUSE I TOOK IT HONESTLY
NO POINT IN FEELING BAD I'M JUST HAPPY YOU COULD SEE
HOW HARD I'M BOUTTA CRASH AND YOU SAY YOU'RE HERE FOR ME

still healing to be whole
don't know what's inside
guess i could explore
the sun sets west as i pedal on my bike
the rain falls best in a vertical line
still fallin inna hole
let's see what i find
cus i need somethin more
the sun sets west if the horizons behind
the rain falls best in a vertical line

fiending for love
don't know if i'll get
my heart is growing numb
i can never feel it
n if you are the one
doubt i would know it
cause i'm too dumb
to know what ur feelin
remember when u said u would like to see me
were u just saying that cause i took it honestly
no point in feeling bad im just happy u could see
how hard i'm boutta crash

THE THUNDER IS APPROACHING FROM MY HOME TO YOU
CAUSE EVERYTIME I DROVE BACK THE SKY WAS NEVER BLUE
AND THAT HAD TO MEAN SOMETHING BABE
CAUSE IT HAPPENED EVERYTIME I LEFT YOUR PLACE
NOW EVERYTIME IT RAINS I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU
CAUSE WE COULD BE KISSING, DANCING UNDER THE MOON
NOW I WONDER IF YOU THINK THE SAME THINGS
I DOUBT IT, PROBABLY JUST ME
SO KILL ME NOW CAUSE I KNOW I'M LOSING YOU
IT'S SO HARD TO BREATH IF WE'LL NEVER UNDO
I STILL LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING
IT'S BEEN A WHILE LAYING EYES ON YOUR FACE
I'M WRITING THESE SONGS N BABY THEY'RE ALL FOR YOU
HOPING THAT YOU SEE AND COME IN TO PURSUE
SO BABY TELL ME WE'RE OK
IS THIS LIFE? CAUSE I'M HOPING IT'S A PHASE

heylog - oblivious (slowed)

pick up the fuckin phone
yeh yeh yeh
ya we turned him 2 a painting
no one does wat i do so i paid him
fuc naw i didnt do jack shit
i learned dis on my own now i dont owe shit
im damn near the best
ya we turned him 2 a painting
no one does wat i do so i paid him
fuc naw i didnt do jack shit
learned dis on my own now i dont owe shit

high tide get me an my soul fried
i dont wana good night
i jst wanna stay up and contemplate my whole liii-
huh :p
boy thot he was nice he was runnin up a dub
uh
bitch im 2 high to ever give a fuck!
ur nothin special 
eck >:(
ur just a test wound
it was alright
BLAH!
till it wasnt!
yeh
im a zombie
bae!
do u copy?
word.
do u see me in tha cemetary late at night
walking round tryna find some fuckin spite 
i dont wanna kill u but i gotta jst to make it right
try to act cool but u know u got Formaldehyde
poisin x_x
its pointless shit u know ull cry for quite a while
but dont do shit about it
pull up in a brand new whip
gtr4s or a corvette
yep
ill whoop u in like any game, call it life
yep
enough of all the talk shit
lets just fuckin talk shit

im a monolithic mommy 
corrupting the thoughts above me 
and i cant get away from this
why u try to love me man?
why u try and hate me
why u try to say the words that cant help but tame me
i cant write the story
but i can on my face
ill put ur name on my hand
and make it somethin like "grace"
four eyed motherfuckin fuck up
four eyed motherfuckin fuck up

aries

follow guda

aries (guda x baz309)

I don't know myself
What if I choose the wrong path in life
Putting on my belt
Got to keep moving
Losings alright
Despite everything I did
I am just a fucking kid
Trying to find my place
In this hell we call life
Don't get it twisted I'm no bitch
I got problems, rather ditch
Still I must face them at the end of the night

At the end of a knife
Blood drips down from my eyes
As I stare out the window
Questioning why
Always felt like the weirdo
Drop my disguise
Now my vision is clearer and the mirror I like

I don't know myself
What if I choose the wrong path in life
Putting on my belt
Got to keep moving
Losings alright
Despite everything I did
I am just a fucking kid
Trying to find my place
In this hell we call life
Don't get it twisted I'm no bitch
I got problems, rather ditch
Still I must face them at the end of the night

End of the night
End of
Problems; Problems
Still I must face them at the end of the night
End of the night
End of
Problems; Problems
Still I must face them at the end of the night

IDK Myself

i keep searching round for some ways to find some freedom
i dont wanna sit all alone without a reason
even if you saw me passed out on the floor
would you grab my hand
dependency is wicked you can see i gotta grasp
grabbing on your soul like im grabbing on ur ass
its a whole other world in my dreams understand

gotta dream so large
i been through so much
i been through it all

holding on to the memories we got
even thought its nothing, it feels like its alot
dependent cycles running in
gotta grin on ur face when you cut me when you tried to get away
seriously its sickening that look thats on your face
i only seen it through a screen till i was in
till i was waiting in the car for your call
your at a dinner with your friends and now your singin all my songs
it feels like a distant memory but at times i still wake up
saying hey good morning love, whats good whats going on
do you wanna link, make up, and make love
i dont wanna sing bout us going wrong
i gave you all my trust now im really so in love with you

i keep searching round for some ways to find some freedom
i dont wanna sit all alone without a reason
even if you saw me passed out on the floor
would you grab my hand
dependency is wicked you can see i gotta grasp
grabbing on your soul like im grabbing on ur ass
its a whole other world in my dreams understand

dependency (prod. dash)

https://linktr.ee/lovejai
new song every thursday lyrics below
prod. jolst

huh ok im off this
you done lost ur mind or ur conscious
huh oh u dont want this
well neither do i atleast im honest
you think im insatiable i know
idk where it all went wrong
been on this road for far too long
so fuck the feedback
you can keep every piece of my heart cause ion need that
its always urs for the taking
u know i dont mind waiting
ooo girl especially for u
feel like it all going down the drown baby
emotional im feeling all the pain lately
and ik life is all about change
cause every where i go nothing ever stays the same
only thing thats set in stone is ur n my last name
bae i got a wedding ring lets get married n not tell a soul
you think im insatiable
i think im jus cynical
but whenever im wit ya bb its like im
huh
ready to go x9

READY TO GO [p. jolst]

when the highway ends i hope that you’ll remember me
no life but a bottle of memories
cant die cuz you drive by me constantly 
flooded mind with your broken apologies 

rough times when id go gome and ik that ur not there
dumb crimes got me thinkin that nobody aware
well trust me im aware
trust me im aware

aware of the things that ive done
Nobody can hide under the sun
gimme closure so that i dont wanna run
i need you to say that i wasnt the one

fun times used to lay back 
dumb lies made me back track
cold eyes all that you had
when i
 really fell back

wanted life to feel like an adventure 
come back I apologize for my temper
one job and i really put it in the blender
no wood for the fire in the winter

somehow life goes on
drive home with the windows down
find out what tbeyre talking about
eyes focused on the shapes of the clouds

when the highway ends i hope that you’ll remember me
no life but a bottle of memories
cant die cuz you drive by me constantly 
flooded mind with my broken apologies 

no chance
broekn heart in advance
green vans no belt for my pants no glam
they all so judgy nowdays its like a scam
got no drip got no fans got no chance

thats cap
ima run it up and run it back
yea ima get my money up and get some fans
might catch me in a bentley truck in japan

no matter what it takes
if your hearts at the bottom of the lake
dont stay cuz i promise theres a way
dont cave cuz i know you wanna say
what you never thought youd ever get to say
take a run if you been outta shape
Thats love if you push through the pain
no drugs could ever maintain
the love that you couldn’t bring 

enough with all of the things
stuck up inside of my head
time to push them down the drain
and finally get me some rest

when the highway ends i hope that we could somhow be friends
i wonder if ur listening
to everything that’s happening 

but if you are then you know that i been wrong
wrongly torn apart 
so i wrote another song
you said that wed go far
maybe thats just what i want
Life isn’t too hard if you just look up to god

tell me that i could do better tban this
you look at my heart and say better than that
i dont know what the best medicine is

look up and you will find that

heartbreak on the highway (cxrter x yunnygoldz)

@baltic-sea-records

lyrics

If you want to pretend
Guess it's ok if we’re friends
Could you try love me?
Could you love me again?
One last chance

Know you said this was the end
This is the message I’ll send
To get you and I back

I’m here for your doubts
I’m here when you frown
I’ll answer all of your calls
My energy is your mound

You're the talk of the town
I know you’ll come around
But when you’re moping like that
I wanna leave this shit town

It’s hard for me, I know it's hard for you
Gotta overwork the brain to repair all these wounds
But it’s not always easy when you live a life in constant blue
Sometimes I don’t fucking know why I get this attitude

Hold me down for the last time
I’ll still pull a runner in the limelight
20 greys, 50 shades, I’ll still love you in this place
But could you let me love you when the time's right

If you want to pretend
Guess it's ok if we’re friends
Could you try love me?
Could you love me again?
One last chance

Know you said this was the end
This is the message I’ll send
To get you and I back

I’m here for your doubts
I’m here when you frown
I’ll answer all of your calls
My energy is your mound

You're the talk of the town
I know you’ll come around
But when you’re moping like that
I wanna leave this shit town

pretend

pretend (shxdy)

produced by @waystalkerr and @ihatesamara
featuring @laindotcom

#surrounded

i love dat bitch
its beyond crush
hoe got sum problems 
thats beyond us
and this bih cant see my love
sippin lean this aint no crush
kno this glick i keep it tucked 
yeah js got a milli
thats sum bucks
said she love me 
she gon let me fuck
kick the hoe out
yeah she ran out of luck

startin to feel like this aint fun
im sick of placing #1
ill take it then ill run
i start replacing 
then its done
and now this shawty want my kids huh
i js hit that shi for fun
yeah u better watch out for ur kinfolk
better watch who can trust

yeah i keep a 4 in my pants
walk around town 
kno the 4 doesnt jam up
yea the 4 doesnt jam
nigga walk to me 
the 4 make him blast off
yeah im w @waystalkerr
im w @ihatesamara
makin this song
yeah its makin u dance hah
better write to yo manz
this could be ur last chance 
ik thats yo last band
yea yo songs belong in trash cans
and dis shawty like my accent 
i dont have a accent 
yea im seeing it through 
yea shawty come and show me
what u need me to do
ah hauh~

LAST CHANCE w/ laindotcom @waystalker @samara

my blood sweat and tears put into audio. my soul put into music.

difference

pre-save this song on spotify! it helps a ton ! <3 https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kanashi/gtf-away-from-me-feat-onlyfriend

@onlyfriendyeah
prod. metlast

(kanashi)
i been down bad, bad
a panic attack away from living out a backpack
yes, im high af you aint even gotta ask that
ppl say they love me but i know they be lying
brain explodes every time you fuckin imply it
and i dont wanna hear that shit
no no, i never had a truthful friend
and thats the end of it

yeah i dig myself to the depths again
question my very existence
and this pain up in my head
it paints my thoughts a shade of red

this existence, yeah you know its fuckin narcissistic 
cuz i only exist to hurt
a trail of dead bodies left in the dirt

and i leave pain in my wake
every single word that leaves my brain...
so full of vindication...pushing them away...

(onlyfriend)
feels like i been this way from the start
just keep your distance as i fall apart
get it off of my chest
hard to breathe through this stress
every word that they say
platitudes and charades

because hell is other people, if not myself
i don't wanna fuck with anyone else
and there's nothing you can say to change it

aries (guda x baz309)

emptychest