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The Upload

The Upload 52

haunt

prod heydium <3

lyrics: 

yeah i struggle a lot with myself
i spend a lot of time stuck in this hell
caught up between realities
i try not to become another victim of mentality
but i tell you what..
this life is slowly killin me

da da da da
this shits too much
da da da da 
like i rlly give af?

how do i make this something real?
i fuck with the aesthetic
i just dont get the appeal...
and its kinda fuckin me up
hardly livin wit the liquor and the drugs
this life has never been enough
i hate myself and it fuckin sucks
yeah its been so long man, stuck in this rut
i could die tomorrow
yeah, nobody give af 

yeah nobody give af...
nobody give af...

NOBODY GIVE AF

Spotify

nobody give af [+heydium]

sumn a lil diff ^_^
prod. BackLake

follow @whywewish

lyrics: shes like "choke me harder"
im like "im only gettin started"
she said shes kind of scared but
she kind of likes it
yeah your feeding off my intentions
bite me on the lips leave an indention
drippin from the coke nose
yeah shes bleedin'
shes bleedin' 

said shes living for the moment 
baby can you cure my boredom?
these demons in my head lay dormant
if you wake em up we gon' need reinforcements
im so fuckin tired of living
feelings in my head are so unforgiving

little goth shawty take the pain away
sawed of shotgun make my brain spray x3


[whywewish]
i got bad intentions, i'ma carry em out 
ima pull up, then pull out n bust in her mouth
they say "wish u go hard" go 'head ask me how 
i'll answer in a sec, ya bitty askin' me out 

said "i like the way u spit" 
u gon like the way i hit 
hop up on the tip, take it for a trip 
real shit,  bounce quick 
yea, like a bunny 
i'ma fuck u like a whore but i'ma call u honey <3 

she's like "choke me harder" 
i'm like "lets take this farther" 
she call me daddy, look, i'm not ur father 
she a lil psycho, think she like it when i harm her 
ur ex mans wack, he don't do it like i do
tell me his snap, send him vids of me inside u

bleedin' w/whywewish [+BackLake]

prod. @sorrow_bringer 🖤


~~lyrics~~
fuck where’s the trust
leading lust, between us 
heating up, on the cusp 
self-destruct, blowing up
into dust
i wanna fall
(don't wanna fall)
into my own hellish spiral

fuck, gotta suffocate
just another day where i can’t breathe
out my airways
but, that’s what it takes
drowning in the sound of yourself
tryna climb the stairways

fate isn’t funny i could be dead
blow my brains out my fucking head
was it worth every second bled?
are you happy with yourself again?

co-depend, don’t forget
that i’m fucked up in the head
leavings cuts cause i’m not enough
and you won’t believe a single thing i said

i got too much on my plate
so i just puke it up & regurgitate
i do not fuck with the fate
pushing away the people
that would try to relate

trust my spirit
(where is the trust?!)
do you hear it now?
(i’m not enough)
it hurts falling down
just let me drown

fuck, gotta suffocate
just another day where i can’t breathe
out my airways
but, that’s what it takes
drowning in the sound of yourself
tryna climb the stairways

fate isn’t funny i could be dead
blew my brains out my fucking head
was it worth every second bled?
are you happy with yourself again?

i know what i’m doing, i know what i did
what i would give to go back to a kid
selfishness underneath my skin
to begin again, i would have to end
i’m a letdown, fight it off
hellbound, so fucking lost
count down, until i’m gone
ultimately i’m not what you want

(3x)
not what you want
(yeah…)

hellish spirals [prod. sorrowbringer]

all plats

nothing's working w/ ninewaters [prod. zupehr]

@noxious-nights - 1st
@navyxower - 2nd
@yoimn3ver - 3rd
@soulfadexo - 4th
@emptychest - 5th

(noxiousnights)
I lost it all 
But I act like i'm okay
Even life is dying
So how am I still there ?
I take control
I can't put up with that shit
I'll be doing my best
Lately that's how I live
If you believe what i say then you got it all wrong
Only truth that i talk is written in those damn songs
She's been coughing like she's dying when she hits the bong
I'm playing with her hair and i help her staying strong
No, I promise saying how i fucking feel never helped me at all
I have this burning pain so i'm never feelin cold
I gotta move up North, all year long i wanna be in the snow
my body's gonna rot, will my story be told?

(NAVYXOWER)
blatantly, suffering, daily
WAKING UP, TO DREAMS THAT FUCKIN SCARE ME
holding on to you can fuckin save me
MAKING UP UR MIND, I NEED SOME HELP PLEASE!

i just wanna do, somethin right in my life
dont want no broken dreams, just keep my memories in line!
CONTEMPLATING LIFE
MY VISIONS GONNA DIE
DONT LET GO OF MY HEART
DYING RIGHT INSIDE

(teddyboi)
i got scars on my arms, i got scars on my thighs
people call it a nightmare, i call it my life
ptsd and substances, they coincide
i met the devil, he told me go inside
he put me in a chair, and said "this fuckers gotta die"

im not good at answering texts
tell me you love me, i leave you on read
plug tells me these are strong
tell me when i should care
id rather be high & dead
than comprehend that you were there
its all abt the music
aint nobody care

(soulfade)
Snow White ate a poison apple
Losing all at a downfall
Not fair for losing control
Might be just a “be all, end all”
Like lost babes in the woods
Pale wolves come rushing on in
I know what could’ve gone worse
Time is strange, but I know it’ll last

(emptychest)
what else is there 2 say? 
im okay
u still stalk my stories every damn day
ay taking hits
take a hint, take a hint
youre acidic
i love the way the smoke burns in my throat
i love the way it hurts and the way i ignore it, ignore it 
do you like how i hurt? do you like how i hurt? yeah.
does he like how i try? does he like how i try? no..

Shattered Dreams w/ noxiousnights, NAVYXOWER, teddyboi, soulfade & emptychest [+ sogimura]

lyrics

i been smoking stem thru the day
barely feel it im a heavy weight
and i dont drink water wanna feel it in my brain
im a dehydrated bitch 
what u got some shit to say
im not healthy and i know that
im not healthy and i love that
liqour pouring and i felt that
done a lot of t breaks and i failed em

i been on my shit on my drink
i been fucking up these cups
im a lot im a cunt
why the fuck u acting tough
its enough its enough its enough enough enough 
im smoking stem in this bitch and im feeling awful rough 

Yuh huh I'm a wizard with these mixers
I make several drinks in a night I'm feeling shitfaced
Hopping on a beat from my bro I call em brethren 
Hit me for a sesh and I send that cash and it's no question

I got fuck all followers 
But prods still offer me beats
I get on these beats 
And turn into a beast
I'm all up in these sheets
And blood all up on these sheets
She gon punch me in the face and it gon make me cream

Maybe it's fueled by the substance
Who really gives a fuck
Know that I'm in my shit
Know that I'm going hard
Disrespect my name
And run it thru the dirt
I don't give a shit
Just know u fucked me first
Hold up hold up
Rum gonna fuel this hold up
Roll up roll out
Transformers shit we all out
im smoking on gas out the bag now
she wanna fuck i say not now
she press against my pants and i take a shower to go and calm down

i get sick of people easily
but i dont mind ur company
wont u stay the night with me
take it to the level that u want to 
if im being honest i just really wanna please u

enough. (viera x jolst)

im too fucked
im too tired
i dont care
but i care..
too far gone to even show no signs
thinking of you keeps me up all night
x2
i need somebody to depend on
i cant do this shit all alone
im tryna find love online
i dont got shit to do tonight
so call me up tonight
spend some time together
get to know eachother
right..?
cus ion got time to waste 
cus ive felt
all the sadness that i wanna feel
its been too long
fighting w myself
every other night is dealin w somebody else
every other night is fuckin w somebody else
i just need somebody just to mend my broken heart,
like.

I care. (despairintoashes)

i feel like lately in life
nobody can understand 
i hide my pain in my music 
that’s what we do when we men

i do not show how i feel 
i fake it you’d think i was fine 
honestly it’s getting hard
finding my way in this life 

my girl left in the past week and it kills me not to see her 
my heart breaks cause the damn shame when it’s my fault and i need her 
i loved you
and i told you 
you believe me 
but you still leave 
now i’m tryna stay but it’s so hard i’m holding on so i don’t bleed  

i’m writing songs till i feel alright 
and i’m 10 in but i’m not okay  
i’m looking back on them old days 
that i spent w you 
for you ran away 
for you go and change 
leave me all alone 
i don’t know to feel  
how am i to cope 
when the pills are gone  
and you not at home 
when i wanna die where am i to go
Tryna look forward in life 
But it’s hard since you left I been feelin alone
It’s you that’s been stuck on my mind 
Do shit out of spite 
It’s hard doin shit on my own 
Reluctant to listen to those who help 
But looking back now Shit I wish I had known 
Blinded by thoughts of the future I never saw all of the colors of you that was shown 

A smile is only a mask
Just Trying to cover my past 
Did you ever feel wrong for your lies
If you wanted to leave shoulda asked 

Shit at least did you ever regret
All those misleading things that you said
When you claimed you’d be better off dead
Overthinking just fucked up my head 

Bitch you never tried 
Can’t run from these problems there’s nowhere to hide
I’d Swallow a pill for I swallow my pride 
These Demons they talk in the back of mind 
I keep reaching out while you leave me behind 
Drown in my thoughts I don’t care to survive 
I rememeber you’re gone when I look to my side yea
Yea 
I know that you’re gone am I still on your mind

Waiting (feat. Maiza)

Little Games (Prod. Holyvexy)

[+] there's a mirror in my living room...
* featuring @pinkcig + @emofruits * produced by @jolst*

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: www.discord.gg/DRfW7Q4Bmu

reflections

reflections (feat. pink cig + emo fruits) [prod. jolst]

Lil soundcloud exclusive cause I realized the beat wasn't available for purchase after I made the song so enjoy this one on sc only

timeloop (Prod. Matthew May)

BEAUTIFUL DISASTER 💖

i wake up everyday with a severe urge 2 fucking dissipate (feat. rahk gee)

@notmorgn <333

lyrics:

I don't need no friends that fake expressions just for fun
how you say i started when i ain't even begun
every lie you stack up on me hurts unless you're done
every day i suffer in my room well just because

everyday i wake up in a nightmare its a curse
every night i try to change then wake up felling worse
thoughts and hollow memories but still no lessons learned
broken glass for feelings but nobody act concerned

i can't hold my happiness for not even a day
people poppin xannys and they wanna hide the pain
i don't think they understand that life isn't a game
look inside yourself and you might find someone to blame

medicate anxiety no remedy to pain
medicate society so they all go insane
medicate my brain, medicate my brain (x2)

i can hear your whispers as they echo through my mind
pitch black border painted all around your eyes
i don't feel a thing i swear i've never been this high
i don't need to try
i don't wanna stay here
wanna take my life

i don't think i'll every try to make it through the night
who wants to feel alive
am i right
wanna die in your eyes

medicate anxiety no remedy to pain
medicate society so they all go insane
medicate my brain, medicate my brain (x2)

dying in ur eyes (prod.notmorgn)

Mix/Master: @qawikamri
Cover: @collidingwithmars
I really hope you all enjoy this song! go show some love to the song i just dropped with @qawikamri over on his page as well!!! I truly love you all, thank you for everything you have done for me! Make sure to check out @prod-trash as well, he is amazing <3

Lyrics-

yung van:
I can see the storm in your eyes
When you're about to cry I know why
I can feel the pain in your tears
all of your secrets and fears
Let it fall
Let the rain run down your face 
feel it all
As your mind disintegrates

I'm only 19
You all know nothing bout me
You only know that sad
I don't even live with dad
But when you cry it's storm
You feel your body get warm
I see your eyes their all red
I know you wish you were dead

I know you wish you were dead x4

I can see the storm in your eyes
When you're about to cry I know why
I can feel the pain in your tears
all of your secrets and fears
Let it fall
Let the rain run down your face 
feel it all
As your mind disintegrates

qawi kamri:
bloodshot eyes from you crying
you don't want to wake up in the morning 
when you see my calls you ignore it
but i can truly see that you're trying
i can see the pain in your eyes
when you said that you're fine
i know that you lied
i know that you lied

yung van & qawi kamri:
Let it fall
Let the rain run down your face 
feel it all
As your mind disintegrates

qawi kamri:
I know you wish you were dead
I know you wish you were dead
i know you wish we were done
I know you wish you were dead

yung van:
I know you wish you were dead x4

yung van & qawi kamri:
I can see the storm in your eyes
When you're about to cry I know why
I can feel the pain in your tears
all of your secrets and fears

when you cry, it's a storm w/ Qawi Kamri (Prod. TRA$H)

@guccihighwaters

Lyrics

| unknxwn. |

Everyone's so damn depressed, everyone's so fucking sad
Everyone's scared of the future, everyone's stuck in the past
Me, I just wanna get better, I can't be like this forever
Call me a loverboy when I'm with you
You're my sun when I'm under the weather

It's late as hell and I'm up
Recording a song cause I feel so fucked
Volcanic emotion getting ready to erupt
Now I'm all on my own, just hope no luck

I been stuck in the past like I'm McFly
And I'm so full of shit like a pigsty
I can be good or bad depends on whos eye
Everyone that I loved I was used by
Now I'm broken, still hoping
I can breathe in your love without choking
That I won't regret what I've spoken
Hope the pain that I felt won't soak in

Lately I been feeling like shit, fuck this
I ain't never really had felt much bliss
Her lips, death stained kiss
I reside in my mind's dark abyss

Write songs just to cope with the pain
Broad day, still stuck in the rain
Different day, shit still feel the same
It's been a while and I still hear your name
It's been a while and I still see your face
It's been a while and I still can't erase
All the times that I used to embrace
I know you can't so don't say that you relate

I don't wanna start over again
Guess I'll cry about it, scream into my pillow again
Bleed more than I do when I'm using a pen
You know where to find me if you wanna see me again

Everyone's so damn depressed, everyone's so fucking sad
Everyone's scared of the future, everyone's stuck in the past

It's late as hell but I'm up
Recording this song cause I feel so fucked
Volcanic emotion getting ready to erupt
Now I'm all on my own, just hope no luck

| guccihighwaters |

Am I worth it, is it perfect
Do you feel the same as I do
Worthless, so cursed, with a mind like this
Do you mind if I die for a bit

To keep it honest, I would die for you bitch, yeah
Say fuck life, wristcry for you bitch
Never wanna make you sad, it kills me
Intoxicated every night from feelings
I got regrets in my head (x4)

unknxwn. - regret

regret.

spotify.

regret. (feat. guccihighwaters) | Produced by brokn

@qawikamri
@guardinmusic
Sample from: https://soundcloud.com/guardinmusic/sunshine

LYRICS:-
Guardin 
baby where you lately
i think im going fucking crazy
baby where you lately
i think im going fucking crazy

Qawi Kamri
tell me what is right or wrong
you've been gone for too long
ive been feeling so alone
when was the last time you sang my song? 

i fell with the tears on my face
lately ive been feeling so out of place
call out and i scream your name
baby can you please just stay

is it too late to save me
is it too late to heal me
is it too late, is it too late?

Guardin & Qawi
baby where you lately
i think im going fucking crazy
baby where you lately
i think im going fucking crazy

Qawi
is it too late to save me
is it too late to heal me
is it too late, is it too late?

I Don't Know Who I Am (w guardin)

<3

Lyrics

-

Ive been running, Ive been keepin bout the same pace
A billion miles an hour, yet it feels like im the fake
Im bout to run into a wall, already at the stage
when I can feel my body drowning right before I'll break

No I don't wanna call my mother back, cuz I'm in pain
I wouldn't wanna make her worry over my mistakes

[Hook]
Oh how it is such a fucked up world, I miss
when not a problem in the world
could make me fall into the dirt

Oh how it is such a fucked up world, i wished
my life would never turn to be this sad
and watch it burn

Finally when I'm an adult ima make a change
Or so I thought but im the same as i was in 2008
I'll go insane if I dont know how it happened
But I'll get through this write my shadows away
Should keep on doing this, my beats always slappin
Another way for me of tellin I ain't gonna break

[Bridge & Pre-Chorus]
I fuckin love what I do and I'm tryna change
Im gonna live it out Imm gonna take my place
But not a soul than mine that I will make it chase
This life, it just ain't fair for anyone to face

I wanna know will I ever try to move on
Keep it up, and I don't think that ima last long
I get these questions, never know what to respond
It's kinda messed up, I don't know where I belong

I need somebody that my heart and mind can lean on
and Im a liar if I say this is my last song
I met my homies not a day that I regret this
My way of livin will improve if I stop actin

[Hook]
Oh how it is such a fucked up world, I miss
when not a problem in the world
could make me fall into the dirt

Oh how it is such a fucked up world, i wished
my life would never turn to be this sad
and watch it burn

where do i belong

forget me (prod. sketchmyname + vaegud)

vans with the stripes on. them shits cool. especially when you beat them to death. same with airforce too🖤❤️🖤

old skool vans (Lil Biscuit)

Lil Lotus- Nothing Left (feat. Scum) (prod. 5head)

@paineko

Lyrics

Lost what I had and I can't get it back
Cause I'm stuck in a mind that just always attacks
Every hope that I have, every thought that ain't bad
It just turns it around till my heart turns to black

So I feel like a body with no life inside
My favorite hobby is hoping to die
This hate inside me is waiting to fly
So I'll sit back and wait for the day that you lie

My only purpose is wondering why
Everyone that is happy could never be I
You wanna save me but don't even try
Cause I'll just fuck it up I'm not worth any time

Drag me to Hell that's where I belong
You prolly can't tell, I'm not really strong
I just do not give a fuck about life
I can't see any light I must be fucking blind

Fuck feelin' love that shit too hard to find
Lately my life ain't been feelin' like mine
I'm always upset but it's honestly fine
I'm just using excuses to go and get high

I like having reasons to not even care
I hate that I'm breathing so smoke is my air
Pumping my lungs full of poison
It's bad and I know it, the rush that it gives, I enjoy it

God if you hear me just fucking delete me
Stuck in a world that I know doesnt need me
I need it neither, I need the reaper
Don't get too close I might blow up like creeper

Fuck ups are my craft, how you been? I'm sad
Why am I here? I might dip out like my dad
Don't wanna fight back, I'ma give up
I made my life bad, I've had enough

Leave me alone cause I'm not what you need
There for you something I never will be
Happiness something I never will see
I'm broke as fuck, got a 10, buy a g

I might go MIA
You wouldn't care anyway
I'm all that's in my way
I pray for death everyday

(Backgroud)
Leave me alone
I wanna go
I cannot take this life anymore
My heart is sore
Brains I might blow
I might just end up dead on the floor