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Epic Rap Battles

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Rap Battles

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Season 2

Favorites

My favourite rap battles by ERBparodies. Jeff vs Slender is my #1 Favourite, going to Nikolai Belinski, my #10 favourite.

Favourite ERBparodies

The Creepy Pasta Battle Royale.

Cast:
Justin Buckner - Slender Man 
RLYoshi - Jeff the Killer
Nathan Provost - Hoody
Froggy - Masky
LazySundayPaper - Eyeless Jack
WoodenHornets - Smile Dog
Kyenza - SCP-173
DarkLink4749 - BEN
RLYoshi - MissingNO
VideoGameRapBattles - Zalgo


EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
SLENDER MAN
VERSUS
JEFF THE KILLER 
BEGIN!

Slender Man:
Prepare for "The Arrival" of the faceless king of horror
I'll knock you harder then when you fell on the bathroom floor
You're just a prepubescent child who has no meaning of fright
I scare all who happen to spot me in the night
Nothing can match my length, I spit deminishing and dark
I've got swarms of arms coming at you, prepared to leave a mark
Emo hair and white hoodie? No class to be found
Were your talents scarred as well? Because your rhymes are profound!

Jeff the Killer:
You're a pedophile, chasing little kids through town.
Legend says you kill, but I'm the best killer around.
What's with those tentacles? You're like a living hentai
A photobomb whose only popularity comes from PewDiePie
You're known from fake document, just look at Marble Hornets.
Driving people crazy, no wonder you've never had a duet.
You may be called a man, but I'm more killer than you.
As for your face; I'll bleach it, ignite it, and give it a redo.

Slender Man:
They call me Slender Man because I get all them bitches
See, I'm a man, you're a kid who can't write any disses
You're rip off of Dahmer, and he's more effective.
You ass got burnt, bitch, you're literally defective
How the hell are you considered scary? Your balls haven't dropped
And the most action you've ever had was at a bus stop
I don't need to try against you, you wouldn't last in my maze
You must be getting claustrophobic, now taste my static haze.

Jeff the Killer:
I can see right through you, you're not scary at all.
You may be slender, but I'm the one who's standing tall
I'll choke you with your black tie, no lie,
Then beat your faceless ass until you finally die
You won't put up a fight, I'll make you need Hospice
Come at me, and I'll rip right off your Slender dick.
Don't give me your crap, bitch, you're done! You're old news
How sad! They made a Teletubby scarier than you!

Hoody (talking):
Now hold on a second....
Hoody (rapping):
It's Hoody and Masky! We bring horror you won't believe
Masky:
Ain't no cameras here, so that means you better leave
Hoody:
We'll rip up your pages, then leave you in flames.
Masky:
You both have no family, and now it's your turn to get maimed
Hoody:
You've got long arms, and you've got no eyelids
Masky:
and both of you freaks always go after kids!
Hoody:
What a lame excuse, no eyes. You can still see.
Masky:
That we'll kill you just like your whole family.

Eyeless Jack:
It's Eyeless Jack here, so get ready for your doom!
You know your death is ready when i sneak into your room
Rip out your liver, you won't be needing this in your grave.
Walking around the woods at night, you think you're so brave
Slender Man, you don't scare me, Jeff, you're just a bitch,
I'll make Hoody and Masky my death slaves like my buddy Mitch
I'm the creepypasta king, you feel a loss to the Boss
And I don't even need eyes just to see that you've lost

Smile Dog:
Spread the word, you bitches lost to this number one dog
you pussies are only scary because you hide in the fog
Meanwhile, I'll restyle you hostile pedophiles to jump miles!
Get ready, cause you assholes are gonna see a hell of a smile
I can't understand how you pussies are considered horror.
A twig, a child, pathetic twins and a sightless explorer.
You can't beat me. I'm more badass than you all combined.
All five of you could never handle this demonic canine

Intercom: SCP-173 HAS ESCAPED, WE'RE PUTTING THE FOUNDATION ON LOCKDOWN.

SCP-173
You D-Class losers, wipe away that smile
I'm SCP-173, animate and hostile
I'm a class Keter threat; you're all Euclid at best
Special Victory Procedures: beating you all to death
No use Containing or Protecting your insecurities
Blink once and you're dead, I'm like an angel that weeps
Neck snap, get back; I'm having too much fun
Soon as I'm in the arena, you'll all be [DATA EXPUNGED]!

BEN:
You shouldn't have done that. It's time to give you a frown
I'm back for good bitches! And this time I won't drown
I go by the name of Ben, I'm every one's thriller
I've come to this battle to destroy you pathetic excuses for killers
You all will suffer and I'll make sure the media will see
I'll record your deaths, then upload it as a .wmv
Half of you are just pussies who can't handle a face revealing
Now let me conclude this battle with the Song of Unhealing

MissingNO:
Back from the island, it's Missingno. here to fight!
I'm the bitchin' glitchin' witch who will show you TRUE FRIGHT!
I'll crunch you, prisoner! 128 times!
And Smile, I'll crush your floppy disk with my glitching rhymes
Hoody, Masky, and Slendy? I can't make your stories worse.
And Jack and Jeff? Ha! Sounds like a Mother Goose verse.
You all need to watch out, for when M truly arrives
You'll be destroyed like a Marowak as I CORRUPT YOUR LIVES

Zalgo:
Enough with your petty rhymes it's time for you all to suffer
My presence is so purely evil, the thought of my rhymes makes you shudder
You're always hiding in your forest so nobody sees you cry
And you, I'll spit bleach at and burn your insides
Hoody and Masky, you two are just assholes
Dressing up like little faggots as I steal your souls
And Jacky Boy, I think it's time for you to see
That nobody gives a shit about your crappy story
Smile Dog, you're a puppy! I'm the mad dog of madness
you bring suicidal thoughts, but I'll bring YOU to sadness
And SCP? Nobody knows what you are
Some experiment covered in feces and scars
BEN, you shouldn't have done that! I'll diss you to death
You're a statue of Link who won't take another breath
Hell no, MissingNo; you're just a little bitch
Call yourself the master of corruption, but you're nothing but a glitch
9 Lives Taken at my demonic laughter
You're in my realm bow down to, ZALGO, YOUR MASTER

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Slender Man vs Jeff the Killer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 23.

Psy Vs Kim Jong UN: ARB

Creator of Family Guy Seth MacFarlane rap battles creator of the Simpsons Matt Groening to see who holds the crown of animating.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
MATT GROENING 
VERSUS
SETH MACFARLANE
BEGIN!

Seth MacFarlane:
It seems today, we've both come to finally end this feud
Though I see no competition, just a wrinkly washed-up dude
You're just an old, dirty bastard who can't fork out one donation!
And has the inability to make any of his characters Caucasian!
I can't aboard my plane on 9/11, cause unfortunately, you see,
I'm busy winning Grammy's, could you take my flight for me?
My rhymes butcher like MacBeth, you won't take another breath
You should've thought twice before facing almighty animator Seth!

Matt Groening:
You've used all your humor, got no material to work with
You're as much as a little bitch as your abomination, Steve Smith
You aren't funny in the least! All of my work is cherished
And your jokes at the Oscars made your audience embarrassed
Your shit's so low-budget, you voice half the characters!
While I had 23 seasons with actual voice actors
You were desperate for the fame, now look at the results
You create cartoons where pets are smarter than adults

Seth MacFarlane:
I'm spitting my comedy - My rhymes are the bomb-diggity
Nobody will ever QuagADMIRE you! Giggity Giggity Giggty!
Your yellow skinned bitches can't compare to Family Guy's
If you were that into asians, you should've went with hentai
You're a sub-par creator, I'm who your fans are now adoring
Your name says groan in it, that explains why your show's so boring
I'm a Family Guy, bitch! Got shit funnier than Ted,
Now my audience will laugh as I flatten this Matt like Bread

Matt Groening:
I'm getting massive steamage, and I'm gonna cause some creamage,
To this amateur who gets horny off of Cleveland's cartoon cleavage
You're running out ideas, so I best not hear your bitchin'
Nobody cares to sit through five minutes of Peter vs Chicken
I'm not gonna stay for new episodes, there's nothing I'm missing
You can't keep a sucessful series, and you can't keep all the Griffins
I'm telling you Macfarlane, you won't make it much further
I'll keep first place in the comedy race, you'll be screaming bloody murder

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES


Matt Groening vs Seth MacFarlane. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 25.

Bet you didn't see this one coming...

Cast:
Target: Supercoolguyjoe
Walmart: Justin Buckner
K-Mart: Nathan Provost
GameStop: RLYoshi
Toys R' Us: LazySundayPaper
Sam's Club: A good friend 
Walgreen's: MCGamingFTW
Kroger: WoodenHornets
Costco: HarryPotter2875
Mall: Mat4yo



EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WALMART
VERSUS
TARGET
BEGIN

Target Employee:
I expected more from your shitty corporation
But I payed less, you have no high expectations
Always low prices? Bullshit, you know that's a lie
when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie
Wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star
Your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar
Get ready, Wal-Mart, I'm gonna stomp you into a flea market
I'll pull out my bow, because you are my next Target

Wal-Mart Employee:
Talk about pay less when your economy is high
Saying "Here pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie!"
You sell expired food, and you're calling me a fraud?
I'm the true superstore, scrap that, supergod
Save money and live better when I kick your ass, I'm lovin' it
Serving you frying rhymes with a Big Mac
I've got prices that go down lower than your mother
I expected more from you, stay on target, you bugger

K-mart Employee:
Attention, Kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie
The ass-kicking of Target and Wal-Mart for half price, limited time only
My cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants
With these big gas savings, you'll be left in a trance
I got a gas station, a car wash, and a café!
This shit ain't about the price tags, yeah, listen to Jessie J
Discount your lines from this battle, Kmart's the one who'll win,
My raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin

GameStop Employee:
GameStop it already, you so-called corporations
Before I Bioshock you, Super Smash you like a PlayStation
You think you're superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced?
Have a five-dollar coupon and a Wii Points Card; buy yourself a life
My shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names
Micromania, MovieStop, Babbage's, EB Games
I've got an Impulse to tell you all that I'm the greatest retailer
So prepare to get crushed when I bring power to the players

Toys R' Us Employee:
KKKKKKK, yeah, shut the heck up and park it
Go back to your clan, and step out of the black market
I only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in,
You break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning
You close your shop at 11 to have a break, I'm open all night,
 The only time I'd be a customer is to tell you I'm always right
I may be Toys R Us, but this battle belongs to me!
Screw Target and the 'marts, I make little kids happy!

Sam's Club Employee:
You can call me Sam's Club, bitch, I got the ultimate deals
Crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals
I'll put your ass on blast, you two marts and shit, selling everything on clearance just to market it
I'll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherfuckers should know never to come at this
And GameStop, get real, what's with your shitty ass trades?
I'm attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days
And what's your giraffe ass gonna do? Splash me with a water gun?
You're just a Toys R' Us Bitch, insert pedophile pun

Walgreen's Employee:
Alright motherfuckers, welcome to Walgreen's
I'm the dopest pharmacy store, that you've done ever seen
I have a hell load of customers, but enough time to fuck you up.
I'll diss every aspect of you, from Wal-Fart to Gay-Stop
What would you guys be without me? Just one pile of shit
My service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it
We bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors
I'll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty-five dollars


Kroger Employee:
You cheesy crappy supermarkets ain't seen nothing yet
I've got better products than all of you, we don't even need to bet
What the hell is a Sam's Club? Man, just merge yourself with BJ's
You faggots, you literally proved that stores can be gays
You think you can outnumber me? Ha, you're really out of luck
If you're not satisfied with the product, I don't give a fuck
Toys R Us likes little kids? Huh, what a perv
This final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served

Costco Employee:
Clear your shelves, I'll shut you down, I'll be the number one retailer
 I'd say the same for you, but you're all just failures
These rhymes are just a sample of what I can do to you
I'll cream you punks and turn you into quality food
We're VIP, only the best deserve to enter
You drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a Dementor
You can't win, it's impossible; I'm afraid you've lost yo
So drop like my prices and bow down to Costco

Mall Security:
The greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call?
If you think you won't fall, then suck this mall's balls
I've been around for ages, yet you call yourself history?
When I was built, all you faggots wanted to come inside of me
Where else can you get a video game and a meal?
A mall is filled with everything, it's pretty much the best deal and
Without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live,
SO be thankful, otherwise I've got no K's to give
Wal-Mart, I got Paul Blart, Target, you're not God.
You aren't o-K-mart and GameStop's just got COD
Step into my food court, you won't be acquitted
Cause you're Walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you're all bitches just admit it
Isn't it a gimmick when you're pinning down the king
You're just little prick thrift shops, who think you can win it
Well it's time to lock up for the night, your shift's done
I've put you all out of business, and there are no refunds

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Walmart vs Target. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 30.

RLYoshi as Terry Fox
LazySundayPaper as Sidney Crosby

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
TERRY FOX!
VERSUS!
SIDNEY CROSBY!
BEGIN!

Sidney Crosby
Oh Fantastic Mr. Fox, I don’t mean to pull your leg
But this battle will end like your run at Thunder Bay
You can’t beat me; might as well give up hope of trying
At least when I achieved fame, I wasn’t sick and dying
I’m the centre position, greatest player of all time
And I’ll cost you an arm and a leg when I school you in rhyme
I use a hockey stick to play, you need one just to walk
Limp away now, Terrance; the puck’s about to drop!

Terry Fox
I don’t need a real leg just to kick your ass
Pour some water to mark the defeat of this geek from Halifax
I’m a true and honest man, so I have to be precise
You’ll be The Next One to go down, dropped beneath the ice
Be quiet, Sid the Kid; what’re you crying about?
I’ll make sure that once again your teeth get knocked out
You’re taking the game by storm? There’s no need to be cocky
You couldn’t even score a goal in a game of pond hockey!

Sidney Crosby
This coming from the man who failed at basketball?
NH-Hell, is it even possible for you to run a lap without a fall?
Take one more step closer, I’ll amputate you with rhyme
So break a leg, buddy; we’re going into overtime
Let us not tarry in this Marathon of Pain
I’ve achieved more than you and I’m not even in the Hall of Fame
This hurting will never stop, so you better leg it
The whole country supported you and you still couldn’t make it!

Terry Fox
I’m a cross-country runner while you’re still on Mile 0
Just a dime-a-dozen hockey player while I’m a real hero
Give it up, Cindy Crosby; try a real sport instead
Got another concussion? You’re just not right in the head
It’s true that I failed, but that doesn’t mean I lost
I died because of cancer, but my message got across
I wasn’t defeated by misfortune, I triumphed over adversity
You may have won the Stanley Cup, but you’ll never stop my legacy!

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Terry Fox vs Sidney Crosby. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 31.

Battle of the talk show hosts. Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich.

RLYoshi as Jerry Springer
Nathan Provost as Maury Povich
Justin Buckner as Dr. Phil

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JERRY SPRINGER
VERSUS
MAURY POVICH
BEGIN!

Maury Povich:
Now would everyone sit down, I'll tell you a story
"Maury Eviscerates Jerry", warning: it's slightly gory
You're a ripoff of Oprah Winfrey, you're a dead ringer
Serious pain is what I'll bring, you're going down, Jerry Springer
On your show, everyone's fighting, it's like glorified MMA
Here's a Shocking Sex Secret: you're gay!
I'm crushing you, this moment's being Caught on Tape
But you just keep sliding down that stripper pole, you skank

Jerry Springer:
It's time to reveal a piece of baggage, this won't be a shock
Maury is having A Current Affair with Rupert Murdoch!
You hosted a rigged quiz show, congratulations, bro
Well let me take the fact you blow and shove it in your face for show
You've got episodes and episodes about transsexuality
Now who are you to judge, ho? Just let it be
You're trying to act all serious by talking about gangs and shit
Well Maury Povich this is it, I recommend you just quit!

Maury Povich:
Just because Wilkos was security, you shouldn't act tough
You're a musician? Yeesh! Isn't your talk show bad enough?
All you do is sit in a chair and watch people wrestle
Your dad owned a shoe shop? Well wasn't your family successful!
You're looking stressed, why don't you take a breather
Don't wanna watch your own show? Gee, me neither!
You can't be fixed, loony, why do I even bother?
You've fucked up, Springer, and you ARE the father!

Jerry Springer:
Yeah, I have a kid, but he's legitimate, asshole
Just like one of those teenage girls you're out of control!
Time for the hard truth, Maury, you have no reason to live
And your rhymes are even worse than the advice you give!
I'm a true entertainer, take some lessons from me
I'll knock you right off the air and end your trash TV
You need to calm your ass down, man, you're getting too pissed
You're a psychologist if you take out the -logist

Dr. Phil:
Okay, you've had your glory, now you can give it all to me
I'm Dr Phil, and you need some help with your psychology
Now I'm not the kind of guy to say "Let's talk about your mother"
But as of last night, I guess you could say I'm her lover
Rumors spread like wildfire, but this one ain't bullshit
I know that you two are having a gay relationship
You two are so crazy it should be considered heresy
My lines will make you depressed you'll need my therapy
Your faces I will shatter and your ashes I will scatter
I just wanted to let you guys know, that you don't matter
I went in for the kill, since I can do things you can't fulfill
Problem solved, my new book, Defeated Fools by Dr. Phil

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 32.

Angry Chef vs Angry Judge

Nathan Provost as Gordon Ramsay
VideoGameRapBattles as Simon Cowell

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
GORDON RAMSAY!
VERSUS!
SIMON COWELL!
BEGIN!

Simon Cowell:
Time to spit rhymes so fiery, you'll be letting out a howl
Cause this pissy chef is about to get some one-on-one time with Simon Cowell!
You can't cook shit, even if it's literally a big steaming pile of turds
You're from Shakespeare's hometown, but you're terrible with words!
I'm rich and influential, you can't buy me, calm your racket
Why are you yelling at chefs when you couldn't even win a black jacket?
I fucking hate you and all your shows because it's just an act, your
Rhymes suck, but I got what it takes, I guess you could say I have the X Factor!

Gordon Ramsay:
JP, open Hell's Kitchen, it's time to smash in this asshole's jaw
What the fuck are you doing, Syco? Your rhymes are fucking raw!
Oh, I've seen your shows, you're not a judge, you're a first-class whiner
Get your act together, dick-face, this isn't a fucking fast food diner!
I've written tons of books and been on shit-tons of shows
Red or black? Pfft, it's not like I'd expect you to fucking know
You married a make-up artist? What the fuck is wrong with your face?
Evidently, Britain's got talent, just not in your case!

Simon Cowell:
What in the bloody hell was that? That was dreadful, my god!
Not to mention you go apeshit over one raw piece of cod!
I don't mean to be rude, but your rhymes are utter trash
Calm your ass, you don't need to yell 24/7, you'll still earn cash
Shut up, Whore-don Ramsay, and for God's sake, quit your bitchin'
Quit trying to rap, just grab a tampon and get back to the kitchen!
Your restaurants don't have such great reviews, uh-oh
And your raps are just so damn awful, even Paula would say no!

Gordon Ramsay:
Me, awful? You can't even tell if someone can't sing
If I can fall off a cliff and live, your rhymes won't do a fucking thing
By the end, you'll be ill, no Divo, understood?
Go back to banging fat Susan with your little piece of wood
You say you're better than me but I must make a correction
How can anyone speak positively of you? You created One Direction!
Now that you have been defeated by the one and only Gordon Ramsay
PISS OFF, GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU'RE DONE, OKAY?

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Simon Cowell vs Gordon Ramsay. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 33.

SORRY FOR UPLOADING AUDIO LATE!

SuperThingsOnCups as MARIO
RLYoshi as Sonic.exe

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
SONIC.EXE!
VS!
MARIO!
BEGIN!

Mario:
It’sa me Mario, that’s the name of the game,
Tom got scared of you? HA! what a fucking shame!
I’ll make your eyes not able to be found,
and play hide and seek, to not play the second round
This is my point of advice, you are gonna fucking lose,
Tails, Knuckles, and Eggman is more scarier than you.
There’s no way out of here, so you can’t fly away,
Go ahead and find me, I’ll just make this face.

Sonic.exe:
It must be a sunny afternoon, feel the heat?
the jpeg was weak, so I’mma unleash the beast.
You 2 foot tall round plumber, I’m better than you,
so suck my weiner, A.K.A. SMW.
-M-A-R-I-O- you’re a joke, bro, you blow,
I am about to crunch you like Yoshi’s binary code.
I'll rip off your mustache and stick it it up your ass
you're too slow bitch, I'll murder you fucking too fast

Mario:
Letsa go! I’m gonna stomp you hard like a goomba,
your game is boring while mine is truly super!
Just face the fact that I’m better than you,
atleast my fucking story was actually true!
Welcome to the yellow switch trail! you’ll never get out fast,
I can make 1,000 disses when I play in the grass!
It might be Mario’s Suicide, but you’re still gonna die,
you think you’ll win? but is there anything I can do to change your mind?

Sonic.exe:
Those bitches and me in the same sentence? WHAT A RIOT!
I see you're looking for a win here, JUST FUCKING TRY IT!
Nobody in our realm can out spook me,
All your friends will be dead on the quick count of three.
I see your life's a strife, but I don't need no knife,
I'm comin' in fast, better hold on tight.
I’ll find you, then I’ll rip you up with my claws,
and rip off your head and say I AM GOD!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC. RAP. BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Sonic.exe vs MARIO. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Nathan Provost as Father Time
Stephanie (Nathan's Girlfriend) as Mother Nature

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
MOTHER NATURE
VERSUS
FATHER TIME
BEGIN!

Mother Nature:
Mother Nature has arrived here to show this dude some facts,
I've got flows like the wind, while you make people unable to relax,
By somehow making time seem faster, and you don't know what's in store,
Everyone must pay his debt to Mother Nature, so pay yours,
Sorry there big boy, didn't mean for you to get played
It's not my fault, that I had to Rain on your parade
It's in my Nature to win, I make rainstorms and fertilize farms,
Hurry up and realize that you're more annoying than an wake up alarm

Father Time:
Time goes by slowly when rapping against such a bore as Mother Nature,
Be nice for once and make good weather, you call it summer, I call it failure
You'll fall, like a tree in the forest, without a sound
I'm like the axis of life, I make the whole world go round!
You're ill-natured woman, all your lines are plain wrong, Mother,
I can see you're a girl, you can nag like no other.
It's over, Mother Failure, I've left you destroyed and depressed,
I would explain how much of a mess you are, but there's not much time left!

Mother Nature:
You're old and weak, stop playing with clocks!
To hell with the L, you like playing with cocks!
I'll take a storm and break through your face of glass
Oh, you'll bring the pain? Well I'll make it rain on your ass!
I expel weather, you can't mess with this angry chick
Come at me, dude, your beard's longer than your dick!
I guess it's just wrong timing , for you have just lost
It shows that Mother Nature's path is one you shouldn't cross.

Father Time:
This'll be a long battle for you
Cause time only flies when you're having fun, haha, I thought you knew!
Ignoring your disses is how I pass the time,
After your done PMS'ing, I dare you to spit a rhyme!
Poison Ivy, stop giving every man's crotch an itch
To quote from everybody, Mother Nature is a BITCH!
You've pissed me off for the last Time, so here's my last rhyme:
You fucked up my World, yes that's right bitch, it's mine!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Mother Nature vs Father Time. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 34.

Nathan Provost as Hoody
Froggy7771 as Masky

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
HOODY!
VS!
MASKY!
BEGIN!

Hoody:
You're crappy Masky, you ain't having much luck
Your face is so fucking ugly, you need a mask to cover it up
When you could use a bag under your fucking shitty ass head
You're lucky to be alive but I wish you were dead
I will kill you when you are trying to sleep in a car
You couldn't take it seriously, but I've took it too far
Oh! you're a human while I'm a proxy? That doesn't mean you're good
Try to mess with me Masky, I'm from the hood

Masky:
I murdered my friend, that means I'm tough to take on you
Oh, you shot Alex? There's no need to be rude
I'm ripping through you, dude! You were born shit
And I'm bout to lyrically kick you in your marble hornets!
Those red eyes will match your body when I'm done with you
I'm disappearing, you're a queer, and i'll kick your ass, dude
Am I Tim? You'll never know! You could NEVER unmask me
But, now you're bout to have to pay the price of facing Masky

Hoody:
Your rhymes are so fucking boring, they make me cough
Your life is like my rhymes, 'cause it's about to drop
You can't match Hoody, you asshole-masked excuse for a buddy
In this next found footage, you'll be ripped, torn and bloody

Masky:
You can't handle my mask, so just step back
I'm cracking your code, bitch, in this vicious rap attack
When i snap your neck, I'll make those big-ass eyes flinch
Just know you can never mess with Tribe Twelve, bitch!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Hoody vs Masky. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

from the movie Transformers: Dark of the Moon

A Thousand Suns (Bonus Edition)

Iridescent

The first single from the upcoming album, LIVING THINGS, out 06.26.12. Get an instant download when you pre-order the album at http://livingthings.linkinpark.com. Also available at iTunes- http://smarturl.it/lpsingle. 

BURN IT DOWN

Listen to the full track here: http://youtu.be/KpsUsP2lIzU

MNM Party 2012-2

Scream

from the album, A Thousand Suns, available now

Waiting for the End

Download LIVING THINGS now on iTunes http://smarturl.it/lp2012

LYRICS:
You were that / foundation
Never gonna be another one no
I followed / so taken
So conditioned I could never let go
Then sorrow / then sickness
Then the shock when you flip it on me
So hollow / so vicious
So afraid I couldn't let myself see
That I could never be held
Back or up no / I hold myself
Check the rep / yep you know mine well
Forget the rest / let them know my hell
There and back / yet my soul ain't sell
Kept respect up / the best they fell
Let the rest be the tale they tell
That I was there saying . . .

In these promises broken / deep below
Each word gets lost in the echo
So one last lie / I can see through
This time I finally let you
Go

Test my will / test my heart
Let me tell you how the odds gonna stack up
Ya'll go hard / I go smart
How's that working out for y'all in the back, huh?
I've seen that frustration
Been crossed and lost and told no
And I've come back / unshaken
Let down and lived and let go
So you can let it be known
I don't hold back I hold my own
I can't be mapped / I can't be cloned
I can't C-flat / it ain't my tone
I can't fall back I came too far
Hold myself up and love my scars
Let the bells ring wherever they are
'Cause I was there saying. . .

NO / YOU CAN TELL 'EM ALL NOW
I DON'T BACK UP / I DON'T BACK DOWN
I DON'T FOLD UP AND I DON'T BOW
I DON'T ROLL OVER / DON'T KNOW HOW
I DON'T CARE WHERE THE ENEMIES ARE
CAN'T BE STOPPED / ALL I KNOW / GO HARD
WON'T FORGET HOW I GOT THIS FAR
FOR EVERY TIME SAYING

In these promises broken / deep below
Each word gets lost in the echo
So one last lie / I can see through
This time I finally let you
Go

LIVING THINGS: Acapellas and Instrumentals

LOST IN THE ECHO (Instrumental)

Hello, this is our first rap battle. It features Fallout icon Vault Boy versing the main character from L.A. Noire, Cole Phelps! Expect more of these to come soon (Every other Sunday)

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY!
VS!
COLE PHELPS!
BEGIN!

Cole Phelps:
Hey Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass.
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little bitch, no wonder daddy ran away.
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, I'm from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are.
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
to unlock the door, but instead you use a lockpick and a cord.
Ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the bowl, eat irradiated bread!
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Megaton.
You're a villified vilian, I'mma take you in.
Have you freakin' question by my partner Herschel Biggs.

Vault Boy:

My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner.
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar.
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying prescence.
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers.
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of shit.
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz.
All my companions make everything easy.
And guess what, none of them hate me.
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk.
Nuka Cola, Sarsapirilla, drinking Victory.
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree.
I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
Stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm.

Cole Phelps:
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise.
Doing what I do makes me *chi ching*
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*

Vault Boy:
Oh please, you got washed out your ass
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps, BITCH.
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal.
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, well guess what, I did, now go squeal.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!!!


Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 1.

Two composers go at it in a rap battle. Wolfgang Amadaues Mozart and Skrillex.
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
MOZART
VS
SKRILLEX
BEGIN

Mozart:
Mr. Skrillex
Sonny John Moore
What else can I say?
Your music is a bore.
Artist of the year?
More like the yearly queer
You're not a musician.
You're a student that can't afford his tuition
What are those noises?
Robot sex?
That's unbelievable.
Wow, Skrillex.
My ass makes better music
So go ahead and chew it
Maybe learn something from it
If not, then go suck it.

I'm the king of composing, BITCH, Can't you hear?
I will Bangarang your Ellie on the First of the Year
You're a Gypsyhooker, you like it in the ear
Cut some of that damn hair off, use it for a beard!


Skrillex:
*evil laugh*
You think your a better composer?
More like a Beethoven poser
Better get off your lazy ass
and stop making music with a toaster!
My name is Skrillex.
Don't forget.
You bitch,

You're just an animal that can't make music worth shit
Take that ink pen and feather and shove them in your dick.

Because you can't compose
Or get any hoes.
I got plenty of cash to give
So suck my big load.

You think your little instruments can take me for a stand?
I will break into your home, smash and kidnap Constanze.
Oh, I'm sorry, by policy, I can't get with a man.
Millions are at my concerts, have fun with only one fan

Mozart:
Any guy named Skrillex.......probably sucks dick
My burns cause "Fire and Ice"....so go and Lick it.
You sit on your lazy ass and make music with a blender.
Your hairstyle's kinda stupid...it goes to what gender?

Skrillex:
With a Wub Wub here and a Wub Wub there.
My Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites, will chase you outta my lair
You think a 18th century faggot could take on the 
*ECHO* "All mighty Skrillex!!!!*
I'll sit with all my money in the studio, have fun playing with stones and sticks

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

E-E-E-EEPPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!


Mozart vs Skrillex. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 2.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
JOHN MARSTON!
VS
NIKO BELLIC!
BEGIN!

Niko:
I am the baddest of the bad in the Liberty City
You're a drunken cowboy, whose cousin doesn't like titties.
I can ride my motorcycles and my mega sports car
Massacring hospitals, you can only shoot up bars.
When you get home, your wife smacks you in the face
I can get a million girlfriends with my online dates.
*ring ring ring*
Hello?

Roman:
 Cousin, let's go bowling!!!!!

Niko:
For the last time, I don't want to go bowling!!

John:
Go back to Europe, you foreign prick
Or I will mess up your life, like I did Van Der Line's
I will stomp you with my boots, like I did with a cockroach
Go back in your little taxis, I'll relax on the stagecoach.
The Tw@ cafe, is the only twat you'll ever get
So here's one dollar, go ahead in...
You can't drive a car, or even a bicycle
Let alone four horses on a wagon, doing a pull.


Niko:
Cluckin Bell, Burger Shot, why don't you have both?
When the church bell rang, you got shot, what a joke
For god sakes you can't swim, what the hell man?
Your son Jack's a little pussy, can't even skin a damn elk.
Nobody likes you, you got betrayed.
Don't open the barn door, you'll get sprayed

John:
Stand over there, let's have a duel
You can't handle a gun bro, go back to school.
And your Roman Bellic? He is a damn retard.
24/7 he's always in the titty bar.
Doesn't matter though, I won this battle
Continue being poor, I'll ride my Saddler.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EEEEPIIIICCCCCCC RAAAAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!!

John Marston vs Niko Bellic. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 3.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

PUFF-PUFF 
VS
STEVE SMITH

BEGIN!

Puff-Puff:
Hello, little bitch, Steve Smith, I'mma show you who can
be the better red jacket, glasses wearer, you little faggot.
You alien-smugger, I will make you drink your Orphan Tears
After I kill your mom and dad from getting White Boy Wasted, queer.
Good morning U.S.A.? Bitch, I live on Jupiter.
Grandma got a facebook, poking you, it makes  you look stupider.
I Fight to Win, bitch, I'm Stalking Your Mom
You are extremely poor, bro, write a Bartender Song.

Steve Smith:
I'll show you the better red jacket with my Hogwart's spells.
I'll take your Tig Ol' Bitties, make your life a living Hell.
You're not my Favorite Martian, you're like a Kelly Clarkson.
You got what I need? Bitch, My Balls are the stars man.
Runaway planet? Yes, it ran from your stupid ass.
I'll Boom Headshot on your Grandma's face, it will be a blast.
Don't get your fans excited for an album, you stupid prick
You tried to go all Hollywood, and look how it ended.

Puff-Puff:
You searched for 8 years for a girl to bone
You can't get none, bro, you're left in the Friend Zone.
Your mom looks like sex. She'll always Text Me Back.
But the Bitch got a penis, and she's also Dookie Fresh.

Steve Smith:
Puff-Puff Humbert, I love the way you lie
My raps will TAKE OVER THE WORLD, so go ahead and die.
Nobody likes your shit, you lasted forty three songs
Sorry Puff-puff...your band, it didn't last long.


WHO WON 

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Puff Puff vs Steve Smith. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 4.

Special Guest appearance by WoodenHornets!

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

HARRY STYLES

VS

PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!!!!!!


BEGIN!

Harry:
Let's all walk one direction, To break this dude's complexion
I bet you when you see us , you get a massive erection.
The Beatles are old news. I'll stomp you with my Old Brown shoes.
So get your asses back in your Yellow Submarine cruise.
I killed John Lennon with my beautiful voice
Your audience is just a bunch of thirteen year teenage boys
 We will never go in your direction, so get off our route,
 we will rock and roll all your wives brains out!

Paul:
Where do five gay guys walk? One Direction
When your fangirls see me, they all get erections.
You sound like a 12 year old boy trying to figure out autotune
Even Taylor Swift tells me I have more British meat than you
No need to hide the fact you are gay, just Let It Be,
Nothing makes you beautiful you "swaggy" prepubescent baby!
Crawl your ass back to the X Factor and admit your defeat.
Here, let's rock at my concert instead, take a seat.

Harry:
Who the hell are Ringo Starr and George Harrison?
You and those bitches against 1D? No comparison
Screw off, old gieser! Your time is done.
 Quit making music and let us "Live while we're young"


Paul:
Your whole band is a joke, just a rehash Harry,
everybody knows you were influenced by me!
Yeah, Live while you're young, start screaming YOLO
But nothing will stop you guys from being extremely homo.

WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE.

Paul McCartney vs Harry Styles - Epic Rap Battle Parodies 5

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TOM ANDERSON
VS
MARK ZUCKERBERG
BEGIN!

Mark:
Hello Tom Anderson, it's time you take a look
Nobody uses MySpace, we all use Facebook.
I'd look at your profile but where the hell do I go?
That update you made, it like, seriously blows
I'll take that whiteboard and smash your face through it.
When they bury you I'll write, here lies a bitch.
You got the empty space inspriation from where you like to jerk.
I think it's time that I show you the better Social Network.

Tom:
Aren't you colorblind? That's why Facebook is blue?
That explains why you can't see that I'm better than you
My update sucks? Look at your timeline
At least my website didn't cause a bunch of suicides.
I have 200,000,000 friends, you can only have 5,000
I'll make my site return, then I'll throw you over the mountain.
You dropped out of Harvard just to shit around the Internet
I'll send your girl Priscilla Chan my personal friend request 

Mark:
Listen here "Lord Flathead", you don't know how to hack
A decent and usable server is something you lack
Your website caused more deaths than the Holocaust
MySpace is a website that is more lonely than the island on L.O.S.T.
I can gather my friends like sheep in a herd,
all your stupid friends just "forgot" their password!
You changed MySpace from black to blue?
Hell, even Google + has more users than you.



Tom:
Your website became cancerous, just ask the swagfags (OBEY)
I'd play that dumbass Farmville but all it does is lag.
Bitch, this isn't tumblr, take off those "inspirational quotes"
You erase the funny jokes, but keep the dead baby POSTS?!?!?! (1 like, 1 prayer...)
You can't even play music on your damn profile.
Your whole damn site is a magnet for pedophiles.
I made plenty of money, so suck my dick.
Your ass got beat? Ha, Tom Anderson likes this!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES.

Tom Anderson VS Mark Zuckerberg. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 6.

Son of Poseaiden rap battles Quidditch member Harry Potter to see who the king of magic is.

LYRICS:


<<< EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
HARRY POTTER!
VERSUS!
PERCY JACKSON!
BEGIN!

Percy:
I am a brave spirited,natural leader, willing to risk my life for friends
I'd say the same for you, but you don't have parents
I'm the Hero of Olympus, you're just a Half-Blood Bitch
Hermoine took my magic wand and gave it a lick 
Are you and Ron together? That's very gay
You got some great stories. HA! J.K.
Abra kadabra Alakazam,
I'll lock you with some shackles in the Prison of Azkaban.

Harry:
Bloody Hell, we got an emo fag, who thinks that
he is all the best with his Uncle Zeus and his major Dyslexia.
You're just a little swaggot from the 2000s decade
You didn't know those Greek gods, big talk wont get you laid.
Very funny that you say that Ron and I are together
But you got a goat boy, you can't do better.
I got Hermoine Granger, she's right next my face.
Did I tell you that my wand rocked your girlfriend Annabethe Chase?

Grover:
You sick bastard. Why do you diss my best friend?
I think somebody's jealous because their magic stick don't stand.
It took you seven books  just to kill a bad guy
And the one you trusted the most, haha, he had to die.
Seriously, grow up. Stop using fake card tricks
Your magic wand is probably 100 times bigger than  your dick.
I have to say that ginger friend of yours is indeed gay
So you two listen up, the closet is that-a-way!

Ron:
Thanks for pointing to the place where you and Percy pucker up
Even Luke has better looks than you two, so good luck
So you're a "demigod", Percy? That sounds a bit made up
Are you sick ducks  the reason there's skeet in Hufflepuff's Cup?
My basilisk just happened to Slytherin to Annabeth's Chamber of Secrets
Harry, shall we Avada Kedavra these phonies?

Harry:
Yes, let's

Ron:
Before we kill you and be done with this, we just want to remind ya
The light from this spell will permanently blind ya!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!



Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 8

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
SLENDERMAN
VS
ENDERMAN
BEGIN!

I see you've joined my server, so get ready for pain
Your white face and black suit have gone and picked the wrong game
I'd have it with you, Slendy; stop, don't talk
Watch me tear your woods apart, block by block!
I'll take Steve's diamond sword and chop off your arms
You're just a staticy mess, who doesn't cause harm!
My land is infinite, there's just a forest in your world
Stop placing your eight pages and come lick my Ender Pearls!

Slender:
You fruity glowing faggot, lemme show you the ropes
Come find me in my lair, grab my pages, wish for hope
That you wont get buttraped by my flailing tentacles
I will crush you into pieces, turn you into minerals
I'm making boys and girls piss themselves in fear
All you can do is move a block over here
I won't lick your Ender Pearls, I'll just rip them straight off
You don't even need to exist, you damn ripoff.

Enderman:
You're just dancing in your forest in formal attire
Want to see real fear? Come step on this tripwire
 I'll take you down a Notch, don't tread on my biome
I'll remove you like Herobrine, cause this is MY home
I've got zombies and Creepers and dragons in my band
You think you're tough as a diamond, but I'll dig through you like sand
Stop acting so brave, there's no need to pretend
You messed with me, now welcome to The End

Slender:
Water and rain, really that's your biggest fear?
No need to run, I can teleport, anywhere near
Your suit is just black latex, mixed with fabric
If you get in my face again, watch your screen static.
I am as tough as a diamond, you're just a dust particle
I will stand and watch you sleep, from a very far mile
Take your little block of things, you're getting kicked out.
I will Linda Blaire your ass. Show you what scary's all about


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Slender Man vs Enderman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 10

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TONY MONTANA
VS
AL CAPONE
BEGIN
Capone:
It's time to leave a scar on your face when I Ca-pwn your ass
You're sent to a refugee camp while I chill on Alcatraz
I'm the Godfather, what are you political prisoner?
I'd tell you where the money is,  but you're not a good listener
Despite my possible illegitimate occupation
You're the guy who collects balls on your game for the PlayStation
Put your hands up, feel the wrath of Tommy gun
The World is Mine, you're my bitch. Have fun.

Montana:
You massacred on Valentines Day Mr. Al Capone
The reason why? You were probably forever alone
You ragequitted school, then you starting doing drugs
What's the matter bitch? Never got a mommy hug?
Watch out Capone I'm completely insane, 
don't turn around there's a chance you'll get gang banged
 You ended up with syphillis, I banged your wife Mae
Get on your knees for mercy, that will make my day.

Capone:

Despite committing murder and other crimes for years
You're the one that's on his knees crying in tears
Your wife Elvira really put her Han on my rock
Take those green cards and shove them in your piss slot


Montana:
You're the one in tears after that ghost encounter
You're the Robin Hood of gangsters, I'm the original founder
You're a dumb son of a bitch, this battle will now end
Before I leave "Say hello to my little friend"

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Tony Montana vs Al Capone. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 11

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
JACK THE RIPPER!
VERSUS!
JEFF THE KILLER!
BEGIN!

Jack the Ripper
Dear Jeff, I keep on hearing that you think you can beat me
You're just a kid; I'm the greatest killer in all of history
I have laughed when you talk about putting me to rest
I'd mutilate you, but I've only killed people who've had sex!
Oh! Do you feel that burn, like vodka and bleach?
Now I'll let you join your family among the tortured and deceased
Break your Elizabeth stride when I snap your legs in half
Followed by your arms; it's a Double Event of my wrath!

Jeff the Killer
(evil giggle) You lied to me
You told me that you'd win, but unblinking I see
That you only killed five back in 1888
So it's time for Leather Apron to meet my lovely leather face!
Nobody knows who you are, can't even decide on a name
But who am I? I'm some guy achieving Internet fame
You won't be writing letters anymore once I'm released
I'll turn the R-I-P in Ripper into Rest In Peace!

Jack the Ripper
You're a Joker ripoff, right down to the smile
Went insane and left in flames on the bathroom floor tile
Nobody ever caught me; you're all bark and no bite
A creepypasta pedo hunting kids throughout the night!
While you're busy getting children, I'm sticking my blade in women
I'll drink your blood like ginger beer before it has time to thicken
They call me Saucy Jacky, I'm sure to be the winner
So good luck defeating me; yours truly, Jack the Ripper!

Jeff the Killer
You're one to talk about ripoffs; you've spawned millions
And yet nobody could prove that you even exist
You're a hoax; a British media publicity stunt
Your knife's so nice and sharp, but I'll be cruel and blunt!
Want to come to a party? It'll be so fun
Whether at the bus stop or backyard, I'll have this battle won
I'm the white hoodie From Hell, here to make you weep
Now lie back, relax...and go to sleep...

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jack the Ripper vs Jeff the Killer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 12

It’s Time EP

It's Time

Nathan as Nathan
Justin as Justin

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES PARODIES
NATHAN PROVOST
VS
JUSTIN BUCKNER
BEGIN!

Justin:
Looks like I'm Justin time to lay down the hurt
You call yourself a rapper but all I see is pure dirt
You can't get real girls, I'm a pimp can't you see?
Stop with the google girlfriends instead, 
SuperThingsOnCups:
JOIN EHARMONY!!
Justin:
Let me tell you about All the Stories on how I've kicked your ass
You're just a White Kid thinking that he can rap really fast
My editing was bad? You forgot to zoom in the backgrounds
on Mozart vs Skrillex when the characters moved around
Nathan, just listen, you always procrasti-NATE
You never film your parts in time, THEY ALWAYS COME IN LATE
You say you are obsessed with ERB, but 
Yet from what I can see, you're a rip off of DAMNTV!

Nathan: 
Otay, who's  this dickwad? The creator of this show?
Your rapping's way worse than when you played as Al Capone
This guy named Justin is way past his prime,
I'll put the W E in W/E into Winning Everytime!
When you dressed up in a suit, you weren't very Slender
Even Mr. Skrillex says "go make music with a blender."
I am ashamed the fact that you take all the crediting
The first and third battles were hated because your awful editing
Don't try to diss me, you won't even win
You think you're better because you're older?, you look like you're ten
You think you're great, all I see is a kid in a gay ass shirt.
You're not a rapper, You're just a Buckner who's butthurt

Justin:
Oh you almost have a thousand subs, congratu-freakin-lations
You got the worst accusations, just stop it already Nathan
With your lack of education and my rhymes in combination
It'll cause health complications that require medication
Just because you have green screen lighting and an expensive microphone
You think you're a pro musician but you aren't that well known
I won this battle now, look at the judge's panel
Go back to making unfunny videos on your gaming channel


Nathan:
JB are your initials, and you're like Justin Bieber
He's not cool, everyone hates him and nobody likes YOU either
You have 30,000 YouTube channels, just pick one for god's sake
Not to mention a ghost hunting channel,  I'm sure the evidence was fake
You freak out everytime your video gets a dislike
And you raged when your cover got a copyright strike
The truth is bro, in life you'll never succeed
So just leave ERBParodies, you make everyone's ears bleed.


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Nathan Provost vs Justin Buckner. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 16

Lyrics: 

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD
VERSUS
IRATE GAMER
BEGIN!


Irate Gamer:
Cowabunga! Time to beat this ugly dork from the past,
The ultimate duel of angry gamers has finally come at last!
You say I'm a copier of your show? Well, that's just damn absurd,
You are just an angry retard, you're not even really a nerd!
Your show is as lame as it gets! atleast mine has special effects
Ill take down this geek like G.I Joe took down the jets
I reviewed the worst games dude, your videos are simply a bore,
You have entered the Game Lab, now lemme give you a tour!
AVGN? doesnt even compare to the I.G
cuz this O.G is gonna make this has ben R.I.P
ET was something I reviewed before it was known,
I'll show you my robot Rob, He's as cool as a drone!
You wana duel with me? Ill make you my bitch in defeat!
since all you seem to talk about is the importance of skeet!
I'll Super Smash your hot wife, because you have all of my hate,
In other words, you little shit, YOU MAKE ME IRATE!
Angry Video Game Nerd:
YA know whats bullshiiit? Copy fuck farts like you,
Who think they can re create my show, and claim its something new!
Forget you man, lookin at your face makes me wanna hurl,
Just like Nintendo Power, You have the rap level of a girl!
Screw you, you're an anal bead covered in spit,
To make reviews of games you need to at least have some wit!
You need way more emotion to actually gain fans,
I have been making movies before you even had hands!
Bitch I'm a legend, I'll  cinemassacre your family,
you're just a troll-magnet, while i get all the flattery
Quit sittin around, jerking your Qbert on your NES
What kind of 25 year old fatass has never touched a girls' breasts?!?!
I'mma finish your ass like Legend of Zelda 2,
You are a solo douchebag trying to mess with my crew!
Angry Video Game Nerd don't forget it, I know you'll lose,
Because you love kissing my ass, just for a couple thousand views!
Irate Gamer:
Again, I don't copy you, how many times do I have to say it!?
I'll beat your ass and upload it, Hell, I'll even create a play list
Killing  you quick with wits, 
I don't need my fists, 
Whenever your name is said it just gets me pissed,
 you wanna battle with this? 
Just try and blits, 
I'll show this nerd some serious shit
I spit an aurora of hate bitch! I'll verbally rip off your balls,
Fuck your show man, once I'm famous I'll never give you any calls
So just shut the fuck up you twit, you will never beat me 
Your shitty rhymes were more repetitive than Ninja Turtles Three. 
Angry Video Game Nerd:
Here we go, it's time to take you back to the past,
to play the shitty games, like you, they probably suck ass
Your whole series should have ended before it even was thought of,
I'll shove my fist down your throat with my Nintendo Power glove,
Rolling rock your pets brains out, make you regret, and pout!
Hell if you even had a girlfriend, I would give her a shout
How can anyone give credit to a dude who steals original ideas
I would rather get shit on by a buffalo drenched in diarrhea.

Nostalgia Critic:
Prepare to get crushed by Channel Awesome
You're nothing but a Demo Reel, so proceed with caution
That Guy With The Glasses is here to kick both your asses
Shoot you piss holes with my pistol, abomination of assness
Here's a top eleven of why you suck with aplomb
Number one: you two SERIOUSLY overdrop the f-bomb
You've Doug your own grave, and now I Walker all over you
I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Angry Video Game Nerd vs The Irate Gamer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 17

Battle of the pokemon trainers!

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
ASH KETCHUM
VS
GARY OAK
BEGIN:

Gary:
I'm the true Pokemon master, all you do is play with balls 
Just take a seat, Ash, I'll teach you how to catch them all.
I'm a prodigy in Pallet Town, you're just in Special Ed
And it takes more than a generation to see Misty in your bed
I'mma cap your ass like a Ratatat, flame on like a Vulpix
I'll send out Hitmonlee to give your ass a million kicks
What's the matter Ashy-boy? You want healing from Nurse Joy
Ass Ketchup, mess with my Pokémon, you're sure to get destroyed
I'll serve you a handheld defeat that will fit in your pocket
Don't let your ego blast off even more than Team Rocket
My pops is a professor, so I've got all the knowledge I need
I'll be rising up while you're smoking Bulbasaur weed
Ash:
I'm the very best, I'm banging on my chest
Like a Ferrow going Apeshit, it's time for the real test
I'm Majestic Like Ho-oh, I spit it hot and gold
I'm like a Blastoise, because I have a lyrical water flow
I'mma beat you hard, you won't be using a healing berry
I mean you're as much homosexual as a dancing Clefairy.
You're forgetting that the entire anime revolves around me
Soon as we went to Sinnoh, that's the last you were ever seen 
Gary:
Stop being so gloom, you're acting like a Slowbro
You're a rip off of Yugi, Hell, maybe even more homo
My disses just evolved, teach you to mess with my crew,
And you wonder who the real master is? I DON'T choose you?
You're indentified as a wannabe champion in my Pokédex,
You've been surrounded by girls, yet you still have no sex
Now listen here Ash, time for the ultimate burn
Magikarp is the name that you deserve to earn
Ash:
I'm kicking it Old School, black and white to red and blue
I got an army of leaders, come fight me and my crew
Trap you with my rhymes like a Master Ball; feel the hate?
That's cause you're too busy substituting 'ball' with 'bate'
Don't be hating on my love life, here, I'll make yours just darken
I bet when you whipped out your Metapod, it didn't use harden
That's the end of it; let's roll the credits theme song
Gotta catch em all, gotta kick your ass,  POKEMON!
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Ash Ketchum vs Gary Oak. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 18

Two badass World War II vets, Nikolai Belinski, zombie slayer from Call of Duty and Ryan from famous movie Saving Private Ryan.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
NIKOLAI 
VERSUS
PRIVATE RYAN
BEGIN

Nikolai:
I'm drinking vodka tonight, after I knifed you to pieces
I'm shooting zombies, you're shooting prayers, jesus..
You're not a soldier, James, you fucked up for your whole team
I'm a Russian, you're a private with too much self asteem!
I will John H. Mill you into pieces, demon spawn.
Trust me, you'll be dead before the break of dawn.
You guys won the war, well I don't give a crap.
No vodka for you, but I give you free bitch slap.

Ryan:
Calm your russian ass down, I ain't a zombie, you know
I'm private Ryan, Belinski, and I'm here to steal the show.
You're a stupid alcoholic, so you better run and hustle
At least I have friends to get saved by, you've been chosen for your muscles.
I killed more Jerries in one day, than you've killed zombies in a year
When the zombie dogs come 'round, your black heart gets filled with fear.
I'm not an ordinary private, nick, all your money got stolen.
You're a Russian prick, with a small dick, gettin' down with Richtofen!

Nikolai:
Tell me, does it hurt when I punch you in the belly button?
Just like my first wife, I shall kill you with my shotgun.
This is what I call goulash, all the blood and gore.
You look scared Francis, never seen a real man before?
You were married to one woman? Pfff I've had nine.
Normally I'd drink vodka, but not this time!
You would taste so much worse than a quick revive
Just like any private, you'll never make it out alive.

Ryan:
Hear that Nikolai, the beat's slowing down.
Cuz I don't need no sound to kick your ass outta town!
Man, you're so cool, killing all your wives...
I was a hero, who got unlucky while saving millions of lives.
We'll set you up, like we did to the half-track of the germans
I can bet my family, all your wives looked like  cindy sherman
You just lost this battle, like you lost every game
I'll give you such a hard beating, you'll never forget my name.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Private Ryan vs Nikolai Belinski. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 19.

For being patient with the 19th battle, here is #20 :)

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY
VERSUS
COLE PHELPS
BEGIN!

Cole Phelps:
They call me the Dark Shadow, but I am still very bright,
but you, not so much, challenging me to another fight.
Quit pointing your thumb at me! Stick it up your own ass.
You comic book biobastard! This case will be over fast
You are just a puppet to Vault-Tec, Bobbling your head to what they say
I'll once again shoot you up, make the Bloody Mess spray
My disses are so cold, yet they'll leave you in flames,
My win is more certain than you having a sucky game!
I’ll hack you, and then I’llI decode all of your codes.
You're just a waste (land) of space, so just go walk the Lonesome Road,
I don't want to hear a pip from you, boy, so no tricks
Don't make me send your adolescent ass back to the "House of Sticks"!
My disses are cold, they hit you harder than a nuke,
You're skilled in hand to hand combat? Then put up your dukes
I'll interrogate you, then I'll Use and Abuse,
I always catch the criminal, you've not been wrongly accused


Vault Boy:
Get ready, Here And Now, I'mma take you to class,
after that, bitch, I will pop a bottle - Cap in yo ass
You left your best friends in World War Two.
Now you are a lonely little man with nothing to do
I am a great leader, haven't you seen all my companions?
After you've had  buttsex, your ass is like the Wreckage of the Canyon
You're a Holmes wanna-be, that wastes the night and day
My flows are like radiation, so you better use some Rad Away
You'll need your Luck Skill on 100, to even cause harm to me
You're just jealous because my game was one of the best at E3
Have you solved the case? I have, you're getting ready to lose.
Vault Boy always wins, bitch, you know that's true
Not the slightest of detective work could EVER stop me!
Watch out, you biohazard bitch! I'm on a killing spree
Come on in and have a very shitty day
Welcome to New Vegas, hope you enjoy your stay

Cole Phelps:
Here's the Truth, you're the reason Fallout was a flop
I'm also Doubting the fact you can beat this badass cop
I have evidence to support this accusation, you're a lying sack of shit
You're not the greatest rapper ever, you're just a kid who thinks he can spit
Listen Vault Cunt, you're really pissing me off, lad
I can write better rhymes than you when I scribble on my notepad
I'm solving a mystery here, all of the clues come together
You’ll just continue to walk alone forever and ever.
I'm coming in fast,
You'll need a cast,
Stop treating the players like lab rats,
I'm entering the Vault and what do I see?
a yellow haired idiot, who looks about three!
I'm taking you down,
I wear the crown,
Let's take it downtown,
Gonna make you frown
When I take you down
You dumbass clown
You look like a depressed fat Charlie Brown!

I'm the cause of the apocalypse, I'm a Hardcore Rockstar,
There's no way that you can hide from me in this L.A. Noire
My investigations conclude that you're just a silly cartoon,
You've no shelter from my bombshell lines which'll come down, KABOOM.


Vault Boy:
I'll burn you like coal, Phelps, and then light your ass on fire,
how can you battle me if you can't even find out if someone's a liar?
LA stands for “Licking Ass” in your Case
You won’t beat me if you can’t even keep up a chase
You’re just a detective who can’t beat me when he lags
How about you get a very big taste of my, Doctors Bag
If you really think you’ll win, then bitch, you’ve had it
Because I am the one who has the biggest Stim-Package
Calling yourself a cop, it doesn’t hide your sins
I’m just like The House, because I Always Win
Looks like your Weapon Condition is pretty low
Just call me Vault Man from now on, Mr. Cole!
I'll be winning big in the casino, while you're solving pointless cases,
My rhymes are Platinum, I'll chip your skull, get the hell out of Vegas
My rhymes have so much flow, like the water you got killed in,
Well goodbye indeed Phelps, Vault Boy just achieved another win.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!




Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps 2. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 20.

Detective with OCD Adrian Monk battles 8-Bit Lawyer Phoenix Wright!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
PHOENIX WRIGHT!
VERSUS!
ADRIAN MONK!
BEGIN!

Adrian Monk
Here's the thing; I'm all set to kick this sorry man's rear
I've solved over a hundred cases since I started my career
You yell everything, you should've been fired on the spot
Unless I'm wrong about all this; which, you know, I'm not
Your messy porcupine hair could poke out someone's eye
Just stay in your little office; it's a jungle outside
When it comes to lawyers, Garrett Price was far more effective
Here's what happened, Mr. Wright; you crossed the wrong detective

Phoenix Wright
HOLD IT! Your statement is clearly faulty, Monk
Your show stunk; I bring justice for all to leave you sunk
You can't handle smudges on the wall or any number other than ten
Meanwhile, I got a crossover with Professor Layton
Solved fifteen-year-old cases, beat undefeated prosecutors
With only two or three days to investigate these murders
In this battle, I've clearly got an Edgeworth the victory
Go ahead, give me your testimony, however contradictory!

Adrian Monk
Here's what happened – I mean, here's what REALLY happened
You came after me, Nick, thinking you could beat me at rapping
But you forgot about a crucial piece of evidence
That crossover isn’t released in North America, when announced back in 2010
You made your debut on the DS; a piece of BS
My show was on ABC and ran for eight whole seasons
You were disbarred from practicing law because of a forged letter
Yet my job continues, so give up now; you'll thank me later

Phoenix Wright
OBJECTION! Witness, there is a clear contradiction in your testimony!
It's time for Turnabout Asswhoop for this piece of lonely
Trash; yes, the very same trash you're afraid to touch
I'll press the witness now, feel the adrenaline rush
ABC? The only letters you know are OCD
And I'll bet Dr. Kroger died because he couldn't handle giving you therapy
I'll blow you up like Trudy; clean you up, you're so filthy
The judge declares your rhymes OVERRULED and finds you GUILTY!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Phoenix Wright vs Adrian Monk. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 21.

Epic Rap Battle Parodies