Rap Battles

Two Texas Outlaws. Billy the Kid battles against John Wayne!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JOHN WAYNE
VERSUS
BILLY  THE KID
BEGIN

Billy the Kid:
This Texas outlaw is gonna show this punk some tricks from the Wild West,
But first you gotta understand the rules son, and that is Billy is the best
What in tarnation?! Your films are lasso three decades ago,
I actually shoot up people, you're faking it, just for show
Just read the New York Sun , you'll get a list of my deeds
No one cares about you, when you talk, all we see is tumbleweed.
I'm a Legend, a folk hero, and all you are is a pathetic actor.
You plus rhyming? Well I ain't no genius, but I bet that equals disaster
John Wayne:
That first verse was like your life Bill, a massive fail!
This is gonna be worse than the Lincoln County War, leaving a big trail,
of your blood, you ain't no gunman,you're a rodeo clown,
You better run away kid, so quickly find your horse and mount
because I'll claim the bounty on your head, I'm the new sheriff in town,
It's what happens when you mess with the best gunslinger around.
I've got Academy awards, while you're just shooting blanks,
You never even robbed a bank, this little Kid is gonna get spanked
Billy the Kid:
As I predicted my rhymes are too hard for you to take,
You're looking tired old man, do you need to sit down and have a break?
You need to speak up, Quiet Man, I can barely hear a word you're sayin',
So draw! This ain't just a wild west flick, this is the real deal, no more playin'
I've taken on Dracula, an old man'll surely be no trouble,
I'll shoot you up, and add more to my kill count on the double
Now you've witnessed that Billy the Kid is the guy with the most flow!
You're done John, you got lyrically killed, call me stomach cancer 2.0
John Wayne:
Shut up child, you winning versus this American icon is highly unlikely,
It's not just because you're weak, but also because I'm High and Mighty
Well you sure are some kind of cancer, I mean just look at your face,
It's more uglier than anything I've ever seen, you're a sickening disgrace
This duel was a ease, it just proves again you can't beat a man with class,
Suck my shotgun Billy, and you can stick this Golden Globe up your ass!
You're a cow, boy, now I'll round up the end of this battle,
Now mosie on down and join the rest of my cattle

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

John Wayne vs Billy the Kid. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 22.

The Creepy Pasta Battle Royale.

Cast:
Justin Buckner - Slender Man 
RLYoshi - Jeff the Killer
Nathan Provost - Hoody
Froggy - Masky
LazySundayPaper - Eyeless Jack
WoodenHornets - Smile Dog
Kyenza - SCP-173
DarkLink4749 - BEN
RLYoshi - MissingNO
VideoGameRapBattles - Zalgo


EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
SLENDER MAN
VERSUS
JEFF THE KILLER 
BEGIN!

Slender Man:
Prepare for "The Arrival" of the faceless king of horror
I'll knock you harder then when you fell on the bathroom floor
You're just a prepubescent child who has no meaning of fright
I scare all who happen to spot me in the night
Nothing can match my length, I spit deminishing and dark
I've got swarms of arms coming at you, prepared to leave a mark
Emo hair and white hoodie? No class to be found
Were your talents scarred as well? Because your rhymes are profound!

Jeff the Killer:
You're a pedophile, chasing little kids through town.
Legend says you kill, but I'm the best killer around.
What's with those tentacles? You're like a living hentai
A photobomb whose only popularity comes from PewDiePie
You're known from fake document, just look at Marble Hornets.
Driving people crazy, no wonder you've never had a duet.
You may be called a man, but I'm more killer than you.
As for your face; I'll bleach it, ignite it, and give it a redo.

Slender Man:
They call me Slender Man because I get all them bitches
See, I'm a man, you're a kid who can't write any disses
You're rip off of Dahmer, and he's more effective.
You ass got burnt, bitch, you're literally defective
How the hell are you considered scary? Your balls haven't dropped
And the most action you've ever had was at a bus stop
I don't need to try against you, you wouldn't last in my maze
You must be getting claustrophobic, now taste my static haze.

Jeff the Killer:
I can see right through you, you're not scary at all.
You may be slender, but I'm the one who's standing tall
I'll choke you with your black tie, no lie,
Then beat your faceless ass until you finally die
You won't put up a fight, I'll make you need Hospice
Come at me, and I'll rip right off your Slender dick.
Don't give me your crap, bitch, you're done! You're old news
How sad! They made a Teletubby scarier than you!

Hoody (talking):
Now hold on a second....
Hoody (rapping):
It's Hoody and Masky! We bring horror you won't believe
Masky:
Ain't no cameras here, so that means you better leave
Hoody:
We'll rip up your pages, then leave you in flames.
Masky:
You both have no family, and now it's your turn to get maimed
Hoody:
You've got long arms, and you've got no eyelids
Masky:
and both of you freaks always go after kids!
Hoody:
What a lame excuse, no eyes. You can still see.
Masky:
That we'll kill you just like your whole family.

Eyeless Jack:
It's Eyeless Jack here, so get ready for your doom!
You know your death is ready when i sneak into your room
Rip out your liver, you won't be needing this in your grave.
Walking around the woods at night, you think you're so brave
Slender Man, you don't scare me, Jeff, you're just a bitch,
I'll make Hoody and Masky my death slaves like my buddy Mitch
I'm the creepypasta king, you feel a loss to the Boss
And I don't even need eyes just to see that you've lost

Smile Dog:
Spread the word, you bitches lost to this number one dog
you pussies are only scary because you hide in the fog
Meanwhile, I'll restyle you hostile pedophiles to jump miles!
Get ready, cause you assholes are gonna see a hell of a smile
I can't understand how you pussies are considered horror.
A twig, a child, pathetic twins and a sightless explorer.
You can't beat me. I'm more badass than you all combined.
All five of you could never handle this demonic canine

Intercom: SCP-173 HAS ESCAPED, WE'RE PUTTING THE FOUNDATION ON LOCKDOWN.

SCP-173
You D-Class losers, wipe away that smile
I'm SCP-173, animate and hostile
I'm a class Keter threat; you're all Euclid at best
Special Victory Procedures: beating you all to death
No use Containing or Protecting your insecurities
Blink once and you're dead, I'm like an angel that weeps
Neck snap, get back; I'm having too much fun
Soon as I'm in the arena, you'll all be [DATA EXPUNGED]!

BEN:
You shouldn't have done that. It's time to give you a frown
I'm back for good bitches! And this time I won't drown
I go by the name of Ben, I'm every one's thriller
I've come to this battle to destroy you pathetic excuses for killers
You all will suffer and I'll make sure the media will see
I'll record your deaths, then upload it as a .wmv
Half of you are just pussies who can't handle a face revealing
Now let me conclude this battle with the Song of Unhealing

MissingNO:
Back from the island, it's Missingno. here to fight!
I'm the bitchin' glitchin' witch who will show you TRUE FRIGHT!
I'll crunch you, prisoner! 128 times!
And Smile, I'll crush your floppy disk with my glitching rhymes
Hoody, Masky, and Slendy? I can't make your stories worse.
And Jack and Jeff? Ha! Sounds like a Mother Goose verse.
You all need to watch out, for when M truly arrives
You'll be destroyed like a Marowak as I CORRUPT YOUR LIVES

Zalgo:
Enough with your petty rhymes it's time for you all to suffer
My presence is so purely evil, the thought of my rhymes makes you shudder
You're always hiding in your forest so nobody sees you cry
And you, I'll spit bleach at and burn your insides
Hoody and Masky, you two are just assholes
Dressing up like little faggots as I steal your souls
And Jacky Boy, I think it's time for you to see
That nobody gives a shit about your crappy story
Smile Dog, you're a puppy! I'm the mad dog of madness
you bring suicidal thoughts, but I'll bring YOU to sadness
And SCP? Nobody knows what you are
Some experiment covered in feces and scars
BEN, you shouldn't have done that! I'll diss you to death
You're a statue of Link who won't take another breath
Hell no, MissingNo; you're just a little bitch
Call yourself the master of corruption, but you're nothing but a glitch
9 Lives Taken at my demonic laughter
You're in my realm bow down to, ZALGO, YOUR MASTER

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Slender Man vs Jeff the Killer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 23.

ANIMEME RAP BATTLES Insanity wolf vs Courage Wolf

Psy Vs Kim Jong UN: ARB

CAST:

Squidward's Suicide - VideoGameRapBattles
Dead Bart - Mat4yo
Sonic.exe - UberFictionBattles
Tails Doll - MCGamingFTW
Happy Appy - RLYoshi
Cupcakes - Katie Glasco
BRVR - Justin Buckner
Uboa - B-Lo Lorbes
The Villager - SuperThingsOnCups
Suicidemouse.avi - WoodenHornets

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS
SQUIDWARD'S SUICIDE
VERSUS
DEAD BART
BEGIN!

Dead Bart:
You're dead, squid, like your music career,
I guess you can't hear you suck cause you don't have ears
You got a watermelon brain, and a dick for a nose
I'm gonna stomp you flat, like all your music notes
I bet the only reason they found you on the bed
is that you never had a bitch to blow your clarinet
You can't come back cause you're already dead,
and in the end i'll leave your easter island head beheaded

Squidward's Suicide:
I would practice for my concert than challenge a brat a brawl,
I can break a window from a plane so you can fall.
Nobody cares if you're dead, with your bloody corpse,
With the stretching and blurring making it look deformed.
I committed suicide because i can't stand your shit,
And Homer made a joke because he doesn't care about you bitch
The drawing hyper realistic looks fucking lame
Why do you have to fucking mess around on the fucking plane?!

Dead Bart:
The way you play your clarinet, it sounds like people dying 
And the crowd from the concert had red realistic eyes.
You can't rap at me cause you make no sound,
But you can show 5 frames of dead kids found.
I would tell you to kill yourself, but you beat me to it
Your chance of winning aint your clarinet but you still blew it 
Don't you dare stare at me for fucking 3 seconds,
And I might've died from a fall, but your shot was more wrecking!

Squidward's Suicide:
Your mystery was found because of fucking stalking,
And a black screen with a download link, I won't be installing
When you died, the homes were fucking abandoned,
You were just laying in the casket, when your corpse was stranded.
Your family was staring at you like "THANK GOD!"
The tombstones in the ending had the deaths written on
The credits were silent and handwritten bullshit,
And the dead dates were on the same date as the episode said it!

Sonic.exe:
Ready for round two? Hehehe, let's go
I'll show you two shitpastas that you're just my hoes
Dicknose, you aren't scary, suicide's not exciting
Just play my game if you wanna see frightening
Bart, you're a disappointment dying without style,
Motherfucker, I'll leave your wrecked ass like Kyle
You two are comedies, your freak factor is flawed,
Do I have to repeat? I AM GOD

Tails Doll:
Hahaha...
You'll feel trapped and dead when you enter your bed
I'll be taking your head, all the blood will be spread
I'm the Tails doll, and sonic.exe you will be damned,
You unlocked me friend, and I'm coming back again
Squidward's Suicide, please kill yourself real quick,
And Dead Bart, I hope you get pierced on a stick
I'll be pushing these faggots, with my plushy penetration,
I hope I just made clear, this is your final destination.
I'm as cursed as can be, I'm a haunted lord
I'll snap your back, or I'll slice you with a sword
Knuckles, and Sonic R, dead by now
What you can do to make me calm, is fucking bow
Two stupid cartoons, with a little change.
Like hollow eyelids, or little bites out of his face.
And one stupid hedgehog, from a not scary game, ha
I'll kill you like I killed those kids, Gill and Noah

Happy Appy:
Time to watch some TV, what would you like to watch?
A dubbed over Blue's Clues? Or a show that got banned when it got launched?
I will take you to my van and get this episode unreleased,
Allow me to finish off this battle leaving you tortured and deceased.
Let me make kids entertained with my deadly smile,
My episodes were found, now you all are the missing files
I'm the king of the killing, all of you will be dead,
But don't be scared, death's a cycle, that's natural children.

Cupcakes:
This is your time to pay, this is your Judgement Day
I have my knife sharp, are you ready to play?
Squidward, you're a loner, you can't make a smile,
Dead Bart, you can eat my shorts cause yours are vile.
Sonic.exe, you are too slow,
Tails Doll, you're my dolly, time to add a little bow.
Happy Appy, you don't look happy, no need to cry,
Time to make some cupcakes, so you all better get ready to DIE!

BRVR:
You think you're scary shit? You're taking it a step too far
For you can't grasp the true form of me, BRVR
I'll tear all your precious souls and simulate the same Hell
that I went through, yet I'm not crying like your pussy-selves
My master's deep inside my heart, no matter what, 
it makes me write my darkest thoughts, crafted by all of your blood
I'm going to leave and hope for good rappers among us
Even if it means I'm staying here alone...in the darkness

UBOA:
Time to turn out the lights, so you can't see me killing you,
Oh, you all wanted to win? Well BOO-FUCKING-HOO
Welcome to Hell, would you like to have a bike?
Nah... who cares? You wouldn't even dare to like it
Get ready to be trapped, I am Poniko's true form,
This is my revenge, go and flash it some more.
I'm in many other games, like Me, and .flow, ah!
Guess who the winner is, the answer is UBOA!

The Villager:
Hello Neighbor! how are you? i am really fine,
i got a letter saying it's time to for you to die.
I need to get my axe, but it needs to be cleaned,
from all the villagers that i have ever meet.
I'm the animal crosser, you all are just ripoffs,
I will bury you all, if you will just stop.
I'm the best selling Nintendo game and your winner for now,
you all better evacuate cause the villager came to town!

Suicidemouse.avi:
Hello everybody! It's me Mickey Mouse,
And no one will top me, get out of my clubhouse!
Squidward's Suicide, go back to your concert,
Dead Bart, you know breaking plane windows are hazards
sonic.exe and Tails Doll are gay mates,
Apple and Horse, surrender for God's sakes.
BRVR and UBOA, what a fucking joke,
Suicidemouse.avi, the creepypasta of the most!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!

Squidward's Suicide vs Dead Bart. Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons 20

TRICK OR TREAT! :) Early just for you fans! Video coming out Halloween Night hopefully!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
FREDDY KRUEGER 
VERSUS
JASON VOORHEES
BEGIN!

Jason Voorhees:
So, Krueger, we meet again. Remember the last time we were seen?
It's when I kicked your ass, in front of millions, on the big screen
I'm the king of all the killers! You'll remember the name Jason
I've been to hell and back! Do you know who you're facin?
It's Friday, Freddy, time to die, as you struggle to see and hear
that no one's truly scared of you, but I'm the true face of fear
I'd love to listen to you die, but you're truly too shitty
I hope you love the bloody taste of my favorite machete.

Freddy Krueger:
It's time to educate you lyrically, you better be ready
No more drowning, you pussy! You're at the hands of Freddy
You're a machete-wielding pussy hiding behind a hockey mask
It took 10 fucking parts to tell the tale of your zombie ass!
I'll burn you more than how my own town burned me
You against me? I killed the director of my own movie!
Kid, you're so weak. I'll haunt your dreams if you cheat
You do dirty work for your mother, I killed the kids on Elm Street!

Michael Myers:
Trick or treat, pricks, you're boutta get slit
I killed my sister, my niece, you're next on my list
Not even a mental facility could forbid what I wish
You shouldn't have started this, cause it's the season of the witch
You wannabes can't touch this, ran this game since age six
and your worst weapons are Wolverine claws and hockey sticks
So if I were you, I'd leave before you both lose your dicks
You've felt the wrath of Michael Myers, it's Halloween, bitch
*chainsaw noises*

Leatherface:
Now the battle's truly started! Leatherface has arrived
And I'm hungry, coming after you, you better hide!
I take pride in the masks I create, I'm the true winner
I'll take you three and bake my family a Thanksgiving dinner
Before that I must skin you all to my victory
I'm the cannibal of history! Buffalo Bill wishes he was me!
I'll take the dreams of Freddy and act like nothing has occurred
Then slice you all up, call it a Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

*phone rings*

Voice:
Do you like scary movies? Because this next verse is going to make you scream!

Ghostface (Scream):
You four better be afraid as Ghostface takes his true place
Do you like scary movies? This won't be of your taste
Before the end, you'll learn my certain rules to survive
As I film you disgraceful phonies getting buried alive
How the hell could you not have guessed that I'd kill to win the crown?
I inspired a generation of murders in my own damn town
I spit shit so mesmerizing, it's like one of Freddy's dreams
My seven identities have collided and I've made you all scream

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!


Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 27.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
LINK!
VERSUS!
DOVAHKIIN!
BEGIN!

Dovahkiin
There is only one they fear, and it's not the Hero of Time
Just stop right there, green-clad scum, you must pay for your crimes
So "Hey Listen" you little fairy punk, put away your tiny Master Sword
The Elder Scrolls told of the return of the one who will leave you floored
Like Aludin, I'll blast your battalion, be slaying your stallion, take your medallions
I really don't need a companion because I'm known all around as being so valiant
I'll kill you with my bare hands, you and your little horse
You better be feeling nervous when I approach with my weapon drawn
Blast your ass back to the Lost Woods with my mighty FUS RO DAH!

Link
You think just screaming words is enough to take me down?
Why don't you suck my Spiritual Stone instead of stealing from those towns?
Take this red potion, Dovah, while I Z-Target your chest
And slash you vertically to death for resisting arrest
I won't need Din's Fire to burn you like Arniel's Convection
You're looking lost there, Dragonborn; just check the Dungeon Map section
I don't want to believe that you even exist, you're so bad
So take your little bent-horn helmet and shove it up your ass!

Dovahkiin
Hah! You think MY fashion sense is something to laugh about?
You're wearing an elf hat and a skirt; what gives YOU the right to stand proud?
All you eat and drink is milk and Magic Beans; can't even kill a chicken
I've got horker, cabbage, venison, weightless carrots, that's good eatin'!
You may have slayed Ganondorf, but now you're facing Dragonborn
I'll be the next to kidnap Zelda, show her my Biggoron's Sword
My magic's brilliantly better, so watch me blast and shout it loud
And sit and watch this Song of Storms bring the mighty thunder clouds!

Link
It's dangerous to go against me alone, you criminal scum
Your victory is like the fourth Triforce piece ñ there isn't one
I know you have bugs left and right in your trashy little game
But that doesn't mean you gotta scream, giving those dragons headaches!
I've got Ice Arrows as my Chillrend and the Sun's Song as my Dawnbreaker
Your game's only known for memes; of heroes, I'm the top taker
This isn't Skyrim, little scrub; you're in Hyrule, this is my land
So watch your step out in the fields, or you'll get Gannon-Banned!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

Dovahkiin vs Link. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 28.

Two fan bases battle to see who's show held up better. Magic vs Space.

Cast:
Justin Buckner: Brony 1
RLYoshi: Brony 2
SuperThingsOnCups: Brony 3
HarryPotter2875: Brony 4
Nathan Provost: Trekkie 1
WoodenHornets: Trekkie 2
Kevin Krust: Trekkie 3
LazySundayPaper: Trekkie 4

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
BRONIES
VERSUS
TREKIES
BEGIN

Bronies:
(#1):
Once upon a time in the land of Equestria
This fandom arose, ready to make a mess of ya

(#2):
We're going Strong on this bitch, having a Ball
Just answer this Q: What makes you a threat at all?

(#3):
We're wreaking Discord in a musical Cadence
The next big thing, while your fame has faded

(#4):
We have more class than DJ Pon-3 and Octavia
But call us Fluttershy, as we'll be the ones to tame ya

Trekkies:
(#1):
You joined the big league, so you now you'll pay the Enterprise,
You were stupid enough to battle us, but that ain't no real surprise.

(#2):
We won't act like Flutterbitch, we'll be real diabolical.
You're gonna win? Just like Spock says "That's very illogical."

(#3):
We could rap in Klingon, and still have better flow,
I mean at least we don't clop to a fucking kids show!

(#4):
You'll be gone The Next Generation, and Star Trek will still go strong!
You're too immature to be here, the playground's where you belong

Bronies:

(#3):
We can buck you faster than ten seconds flat

(#1)
And with our rhymes, we're fiercer than Rarity's cat

(#2):
Feuding with you guys? Easier than a Magic Duel

(#4):
You should visit Cheerilee, cause you're about to get schooled

(#2):
Star Trek? We can get more entertainment from playing Pong

(#1):
You guys are probably people that judge shows by their theme song

(#3):
You're all heading Into Darkness, time to prepare for your doom

(All):
Because you're all getting slammed by this Sonic RapBoom!

Trekkies:
(#2):
If people hate on the show you go nuts, you're all hypocrites

(#4):
So it seems "love and tolerance" is just a bunch of bullshit!

(#1):
Beam us up Scotty, these bronies are about to go BOOM,
Now we will boldly go where no brony has gone before, 

(All):
A GIRLS BEDROOM!

(#3):
Bronies don't show the love of the show, they just make shitty OC's.

(#2):
And also, watching that show doesn't give you an actual crony

(#1):
We travel through the entire universe and discover new worlds,

(#4):
while your story has been made for prepubescent girls.

Bronies:
(All):
We'll snap your fucking necks, like Fluttershy killed a bear

(#2):
We may support friendship, 

(#1):
but we don't always share and care

(#4):
Just lay off us already, you lazy little slacker

(#2):
Or we'll go Big Mac on you; Sweet Apple Massacre

(#3):
We're producing more scared than the Luna Game

(#1):
While you're just producing unoriginal fan names

(#2):
So go back to your crappy Enterprise, you little headaches
And hurry...we're getting hungry for Cupcakes!

Trekkies:
(#1):
We're actually talented, 

(#4):
rapping even better than Zecora,

(#2):
We would be nice, 

(#3):
if you were actually sane we'd ignore ya

(#1):
But you're not, so we'll show you really how stupid you all are,

(#4):
Even Derpy can see, that in life you won't go far!

(#2):
It's pretty obvious that My Little Pony has the worst fans

(#1):
Exhibit A: little girl, 

(#2):
Exhibit B: old horny man

(#3):
This battle is over, we won with our superior minds and our awesome tech,

(All):
Remember from now on little faggots, never mess with Star Trek!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Bronies vs Trekkies. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 29.

Bet you didn't see this one coming...

Cast:
Target: Supercoolguyjoe
Walmart: Justin Buckner
K-Mart: Nathan Provost
GameStop: RLYoshi
Toys R' Us: LazySundayPaper
Sam's Club: A good friend 
Walgreen's: MCGamingFTW
Kroger: WoodenHornets
Costco: HarryPotter2875
Mall: Mat4yo



EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WALMART
VERSUS
TARGET
BEGIN

Target Employee:
I expected more from your shitty corporation
But I payed less, you have no high expectations
Always low prices? Bullshit, you know that's a lie
when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie
Wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star
Your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar
Get ready, Wal-Mart, I'm gonna stomp you into a flea market
I'll pull out my bow, because you are my next Target

Wal-Mart Employee:
Talk about pay less when your economy is high
Saying "Here pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie!"
You sell expired food, and you're calling me a fraud?
I'm the true superstore, scrap that, supergod
Save money and live better when I kick your ass, I'm lovin' it
Serving you frying rhymes with a Big Mac
I've got prices that go down lower than your mother
I expected more from you, stay on target, you bugger

K-mart Employee:
Attention, Kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie
The ass-kicking of Target and Wal-Mart for half price, limited time only
My cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants
With these big gas savings, you'll be left in a trance
I got a gas station, a car wash, and a café!
This shit ain't about the price tags, yeah, listen to Jessie J
Discount your lines from this battle, Kmart's the one who'll win,
My raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin

GameStop Employee:
GameStop it already, you so-called corporations
Before I Bioshock you, Super Smash you like a PlayStation
You think you're superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced?
Have a five-dollar coupon and a Wii Points Card; buy yourself a life
My shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names
Micromania, MovieStop, Babbage's, EB Games
I've got an Impulse to tell you all that I'm the greatest retailer
So prepare to get crushed when I bring power to the players

Toys R' Us Employee:
KKKKKKK, yeah, shut the heck up and park it
Go back to your clan, and step out of the black market
I only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in,
You break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning
You close your shop at 11 to have a break, I'm open all night,
 The only time I'd be a customer is to tell you I'm always right
I may be Toys R Us, but this battle belongs to me!
Screw Target and the 'marts, I make little kids happy!

Sam's Club Employee:
You can call me Sam's Club, bitch, I got the ultimate deals
Crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals
I'll put your ass on blast, you two marts and shit, selling everything on clearance just to market it
I'll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherfuckers should know never to come at this
And GameStop, get real, what's with your shitty ass trades?
I'm attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days
And what's your giraffe ass gonna do? Splash me with a water gun?
You're just a Toys R' Us Bitch, insert pedophile pun

Walgreen's Employee:
Alright motherfuckers, welcome to Walgreen's
I'm the dopest pharmacy store, that you've done ever seen
I have a hell load of customers, but enough time to fuck you up.
I'll diss every aspect of you, from Wal-Fart to Gay-Stop
What would you guys be without me? Just one pile of shit
My service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it
We bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors
I'll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty-five dollars


Kroger Employee:
You cheesy crappy supermarkets ain't seen nothing yet
I've got better products than all of you, we don't even need to bet
What the hell is a Sam's Club? Man, just merge yourself with BJ's
You faggots, you literally proved that stores can be gays
You think you can outnumber me? Ha, you're really out of luck
If you're not satisfied with the product, I don't give a fuck
Toys R Us likes little kids? Huh, what a perv
This final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served

Costco Employee:
Clear your shelves, I'll shut you down, I'll be the number one retailer
 I'd say the same for you, but you're all just failures
These rhymes are just a sample of what I can do to you
I'll cream you punks and turn you into quality food
We're VIP, only the best deserve to enter
You drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a Dementor
You can't win, it's impossible; I'm afraid you've lost yo
So drop like my prices and bow down to Costco

Mall Security:
The greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call?
If you think you won't fall, then suck this mall's balls
I've been around for ages, yet you call yourself history?
When I was built, all you faggots wanted to come inside of me
Where else can you get a video game and a meal?
A mall is filled with everything, it's pretty much the best deal and
Without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live,
SO be thankful, otherwise I've got no K's to give
Wal-Mart, I got Paul Blart, Target, you're not God.
You aren't o-K-mart and GameStop's just got COD
Step into my food court, you won't be acquitted
Cause you're Walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you're all bitches just admit it
Isn't it a gimmick when you're pinning down the king
You're just little prick thrift shops, who think you can win it
Well it's time to lock up for the night, your shift's done
I've put you all out of business, and there are no refunds

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Walmart vs Target. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 30.

SuperThingsOnCups as Herobrine
WoodenHornets as Tails Doll

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
TAILS DOLL!
VS!
HEROBRINE!
BEGIN!

Herobrine:
You won’t be seeing the sunshine anymore after this battle is done,
Herobrine has connected to kick your ass and remove your stuff.
I will make you 404‘d, and i’ll stab you in the the crotch,
how can you mess with me when I messed with a game by Notch?
I will kill you slowly while you are thinking I’m a cow,
you’ll see me then you’ll realize why and how?
Tails Doll? oh! such a scary name!
you were made in one of the most shittiest Sonic games. 

Tails Doll:
They call me tails doll, bout to murder your soul,
I'm incontrolable, I'll leave you with a pixelated hole.
But really, your shitty creepypasta is really rare,
I'm a cursed creepy doll, YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!
Dumb Herobrine, haha, why the long face? 
Call me sonic because I'm winning fast in this race.
you're a hollowed out mod, who will never see remorse,
I will crush you with this piston since there's nothing to live for.

Herobrine:
Sonic R was the biggest piece of fucking crap,
get out of this world, cause this is Minecraft!
I will stab you with this diamond axe, you will be taunted,
you better be scared cause i am always watching.

Tails Doll:
I killed Noah and Gill who bought me from EB Games,
this is bullshit, you and the zombie are the fucking same.
You’re gonna kill me with a diamond axe? you took it too far,
It won’t be Sonic R, it will now be TAILS DOLL R!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC. RAP. BATTLES. OF CREEPYPASTA!

Tails Doll vs Herobrine. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Battle of the talk show hosts. Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich.

RLYoshi as Jerry Springer
Nathan Provost as Maury Povich
Justin Buckner as Dr. Phil

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JERRY SPRINGER
VERSUS
MAURY POVICH
BEGIN!

Maury Povich:
Now would everyone sit down, I'll tell you a story
"Maury Eviscerates Jerry", warning: it's slightly gory
You're a ripoff of Oprah Winfrey, you're a dead ringer
Serious pain is what I'll bring, you're going down, Jerry Springer
On your show, everyone's fighting, it's like glorified MMA
Here's a Shocking Sex Secret: you're gay!
I'm crushing you, this moment's being Caught on Tape
But you just keep sliding down that stripper pole, you skank

Jerry Springer:
It's time to reveal a piece of baggage, this won't be a shock
Maury is having A Current Affair with Rupert Murdoch!
You hosted a rigged quiz show, congratulations, bro
Well let me take the fact you blow and shove it in your face for show
You've got episodes and episodes about transsexuality
Now who are you to judge, ho? Just let it be
You're trying to act all serious by talking about gangs and shit
Well Maury Povich this is it, I recommend you just quit!

Maury Povich:
Just because Wilkos was security, you shouldn't act tough
You're a musician? Yeesh! Isn't your talk show bad enough?
All you do is sit in a chair and watch people wrestle
Your dad owned a shoe shop? Well wasn't your family successful!
You're looking stressed, why don't you take a breather
Don't wanna watch your own show? Gee, me neither!
You can't be fixed, loony, why do I even bother?
You've fucked up, Springer, and you ARE the father!

Jerry Springer:
Yeah, I have a kid, but he's legitimate, asshole
Just like one of those teenage girls you're out of control!
Time for the hard truth, Maury, you have no reason to live
And your rhymes are even worse than the advice you give!
I'm a true entertainer, take some lessons from me
I'll knock you right off the air and end your trash TV
You need to calm your ass down, man, you're getting too pissed
You're a psychologist if you take out the -logist

Dr. Phil:
Okay, you've had your glory, now you can give it all to me
I'm Dr Phil, and you need some help with your psychology
Now I'm not the kind of guy to say "Let's talk about your mother"
But as of last night, I guess you could say I'm her lover
Rumors spread like wildfire, but this one ain't bullshit
I know that you two are having a gay relationship
You two are so crazy it should be considered heresy
My lines will make you depressed you'll need my therapy
Your faces I will shatter and your ashes I will scatter
I just wanted to let you guys know, that you don't matter
I went in for the kill, since I can do things you can't fulfill
Problem solved, my new book, Defeated Fools by Dr. Phil

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 32.

SORRY FOR UPLOADING AUDIO LATE!

SuperThingsOnCups as MARIO
RLYoshi as Sonic.exe

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
SONIC.EXE!
VS!
MARIO!
BEGIN!

Mario:
It’sa me Mario, that’s the name of the game,
Tom got scared of you? HA! what a fucking shame!
I’ll make your eyes not able to be found,
and play hide and seek, to not play the second round
This is my point of advice, you are gonna fucking lose,
Tails, Knuckles, and Eggman is more scarier than you.
There’s no way out of here, so you can’t fly away,
Go ahead and find me, I’ll just make this face.

Sonic.exe:
It must be a sunny afternoon, feel the heat?
the jpeg was weak, so I’mma unleash the beast.
You 2 foot tall round plumber, I’m better than you,
so suck my weiner, A.K.A. SMW.
-M-A-R-I-O- you’re a joke, bro, you blow,
I am about to crunch you like Yoshi’s binary code.
I'll rip off your mustache and stick it it up your ass
you're too slow bitch, I'll murder you fucking too fast

Mario:
Letsa go! I’m gonna stomp you hard like a goomba,
your game is boring while mine is truly super!
Just face the fact that I’m better than you,
atleast my fucking story was actually true!
Welcome to the yellow switch trail! you’ll never get out fast,
I can make 1,000 disses when I play in the grass!
It might be Mario’s Suicide, but you’re still gonna die,
you think you’ll win? but is there anything I can do to change your mind?

Sonic.exe:
Those bitches and me in the same sentence? WHAT A RIOT!
I see you're looking for a win here, JUST FUCKING TRY IT!
Nobody in our realm can out spook me,
All your friends will be dead on the quick count of three.
I see your life's a strife, but I don't need no knife,
I'm comin' in fast, better hold on tight.
I’ll find you, then I’ll rip you up with my claws,
and rip off your head and say I AM GOD!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC. RAP. BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Sonic.exe vs MARIO. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

diablo453 as Jane the Killer
RLYoshi as Jeff the Killer

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
JANE THE KILLER!
VS!
JEFF THE KILLER!
BEGIN!

Jane:
I'm very flaming hot, so prepare to feel a second burn
Looks like I finally found you Jeff, now prepare for your worst
You got beaten up by bullies, HA! what a laugh
Your skin matches your white hoodie, and you look like crap!
This battle will end faster than the birthday party
I'll make you suffer for what you did to me, so you better say you're sorry
I will rip out your guts like how you did to me at the doctor
And I can’t not wait for you to meet my sharp ass chopper

Jeff:
I am Jeff the Killer, I’m better than Jack the Ripper
I don't understand why I'm battling against a stripper
Don’t be so grumpy and put a smile on your face
You’re a rip-off of me, that is why you’re a disgrace
Your black eyes make you look like Void of Vision
Now why don’t you shut the fuck up and get back in the kitchen
You’re coming for me till the end? bitch please! I killed my parents
I'll kill you twice, remember when I jumped over the fence?

Jane:
If you are reading this, then prepare to make a frown
I’ll make you drown, and push you on the wall to go down
You punched a teen in the heart? and then you got hurt?
My disses are like the birthday party, YOU JUST GOT BURNED!
I'm glad you got no eyelids, cause look at how bad you're looking
Time to burn some rotten flesh, guess who I'm cooking?
Dont go to sleep cause you wont wake up, you're in for a thriller
I’m coming for you, sleep well, Signed: Jane the Killer

Jeff:
Not satisfied on the little makeover I gave you?
HAHA you're just a women! Whats the worst you can do?
You can't even kill anyone cause you fucking suck
Jeff is the real killer in these parts so good luck
I hear you're crushing on me Jane, just give in already
I’ll rip you up and turn you into fucking birthday confetti
This battle has just ended, and I've finally had enough
Now how about you go to sleep... so you'll never wake up

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Jeff the Killer vs Jane the Killer. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Nathan Provost as Hoody
Froggy7771 as Masky

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
HOODY!
VS!
MASKY!
BEGIN!

Hoody:
You're crappy Masky, you ain't having much luck
Your face is so fucking ugly, you need a mask to cover it up
When you could use a bag under your fucking shitty ass head
You're lucky to be alive but I wish you were dead
I will kill you when you are trying to sleep in a car
You couldn't take it seriously, but I've took it too far
Oh! you're a human while I'm a proxy? That doesn't mean you're good
Try to mess with me Masky, I'm from the hood

Masky:
I murdered my friend, that means I'm tough to take on you
Oh, you shot Alex? There's no need to be rude
I'm ripping through you, dude! You were born shit
And I'm bout to lyrically kick you in your marble hornets!
Those red eyes will match your body when I'm done with you
I'm disappearing, you're a queer, and i'll kick your ass, dude
Am I Tim? You'll never know! You could NEVER unmask me
But, now you're bout to have to pay the price of facing Masky

Hoody:
Your rhymes are so fucking boring, they make me cough
Your life is like my rhymes, 'cause it's about to drop
You can't match Hoody, you asshole-masked excuse for a buddy
In this next found footage, you'll be ripped, torn and bloody

Masky:
You can't handle my mask, so just step back
I'm cracking your code, bitch, in this vicious rap attack
When i snap your neck, I'll make those big-ass eyes flinch
Just know you can never mess with Tribe Twelve, bitch!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Hoody vs Masky. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TOM ANDERSON
VS
MARK ZUCKERBERG
BEGIN!

Mark:
Hello Tom Anderson, it's time you take a look
Nobody uses MySpace, we all use Facebook.
I'd look at your profile but where the hell do I go?
That update you made, it like, seriously blows
I'll take that whiteboard and smash your face through it.
When they bury you I'll write, here lies a bitch.
You got the empty space inspriation from where you like to jerk.
I think it's time that I show you the better Social Network.

Tom:
Aren't you colorblind? That's why Facebook is blue?
That explains why you can't see that I'm better than you
My update sucks? Look at your timeline
At least my website didn't cause a bunch of suicides.
I have 200,000,000 friends, you can only have 5,000
I'll make my site return, then I'll throw you over the mountain.
You dropped out of Harvard just to shit around the Internet
I'll send your girl Priscilla Chan my personal friend request 

Mark:
Listen here "Lord Flathead", you don't know how to hack
A decent and usable server is something you lack
Your website caused more deaths than the Holocaust
MySpace is a website that is more lonely than the island on L.O.S.T.
I can gather my friends like sheep in a herd,
all your stupid friends just "forgot" their password!
You changed MySpace from black to blue?
Hell, even Google + has more users than you.



Tom:
Your website became cancerous, just ask the swagfags (OBEY)
I'd play that dumbass Farmville but all it does is lag.
Bitch, this isn't tumblr, take off those "inspirational quotes"
You erase the funny jokes, but keep the dead baby POSTS?!?!?! (1 like, 1 prayer...)
You can't even play music on your damn profile.
Your whole damn site is a magnet for pedophiles.
I made plenty of money, so suck my dick.
Your ass got beat? Ha, Tom Anderson likes this!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES.

Tom Anderson VS Mark Zuckerberg. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 6.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
SLENDERMAN
VS
ENDERMAN
BEGIN!

I see you've joined my server, so get ready for pain
Your white face and black suit have gone and picked the wrong game
I'd have it with you, Slendy; stop, don't talk
Watch me tear your woods apart, block by block!
I'll take Steve's diamond sword and chop off your arms
You're just a staticy mess, who doesn't cause harm!
My land is infinite, there's just a forest in your world
Stop placing your eight pages and come lick my Ender Pearls!

Slender:
You fruity glowing faggot, lemme show you the ropes
Come find me in my lair, grab my pages, wish for hope
That you wont get buttraped by my flailing tentacles
I will crush you into pieces, turn you into minerals
I'm making boys and girls piss themselves in fear
All you can do is move a block over here
I won't lick your Ender Pearls, I'll just rip them straight off
You don't even need to exist, you damn ripoff.

Enderman:
You're just dancing in your forest in formal attire
Want to see real fear? Come step on this tripwire
 I'll take you down a Notch, don't tread on my biome
I'll remove you like Herobrine, cause this is MY home
I've got zombies and Creepers and dragons in my band
You think you're tough as a diamond, but I'll dig through you like sand
Stop acting so brave, there's no need to pretend
You messed with me, now welcome to The End

Slender:
Water and rain, really that's your biggest fear?
No need to run, I can teleport, anywhere near
Your suit is just black latex, mixed with fabric
If you get in my face again, watch your screen static.
I am as tough as a diamond, you're just a dust particle
I will stand and watch you sleep, from a very far mile
Take your little block of things, you're getting kicked out.
I will Linda Blaire your ass. Show you what scary's all about


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Slender Man vs Enderman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 10

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
JACK THE RIPPER!
VERSUS!
JEFF THE KILLER!
BEGIN!

Jack the Ripper
Dear Jeff, I keep on hearing that you think you can beat me
You're just a kid; I'm the greatest killer in all of history
I have laughed when you talk about putting me to rest
I'd mutilate you, but I've only killed people who've had sex!
Oh! Do you feel that burn, like vodka and bleach?
Now I'll let you join your family among the tortured and deceased
Break your Elizabeth stride when I snap your legs in half
Followed by your arms; it's a Double Event of my wrath!

Jeff the Killer
(evil giggle) You lied to me
You told me that you'd win, but unblinking I see
That you only killed five back in 1888
So it's time for Leather Apron to meet my lovely leather face!
Nobody knows who you are, can't even decide on a name
But who am I? I'm some guy achieving Internet fame
You won't be writing letters anymore once I'm released
I'll turn the R-I-P in Ripper into Rest In Peace!

Jack the Ripper
You're a Joker ripoff, right down to the smile
Went insane and left in flames on the bathroom floor tile
Nobody ever caught me; you're all bark and no bite
A creepypasta pedo hunting kids throughout the night!
While you're busy getting children, I'm sticking my blade in women
I'll drink your blood like ginger beer before it has time to thicken
They call me Saucy Jacky, I'm sure to be the winner
So good luck defeating me; yours truly, Jack the Ripper!

Jeff the Killer
You're one to talk about ripoffs; you've spawned millions
And yet nobody could prove that you even exist
You're a hoax; a British media publicity stunt
Your knife's so nice and sharp, but I'll be cruel and blunt!
Want to come to a party? It'll be so fun
Whether at the bus stop or backyard, I'll have this battle won
I'm the white hoodie From Hell, here to make you weep
Now lie back, relax...and go to sleep...

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jack the Ripper vs Jeff the Killer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 12

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
EMINEM 
VS
MACKLEMORE
BEGIN

Macklemore:
This battle will leave you crying like that guy, you know, Stan?
I mean, you should be imprisoned, you killed your number one fan.
Can’t spell your own name, that’s why your E’s backwards
And my recognition grew faster than your dick, you bastard.
You got beaten by your papa, that's what all your songs are about
You should try to make something original other than anger and pout
Say "I'm not afraid" one more time, I know your wrong
Shit it was 99 cents and still no body bought your songs

Eminem:
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Marshall Mathers
the greatest rapper of all time, unlike this swagger-jacker
I'm not afraid to beat your ass , bring you hell till I collapse
I've made myself a great life despite my painful past
All you got is your thrift shoppers who want their money back
I'm the world's greatest rapper and I ain't even black
I grew up in the streets bitch, and i spit a verbal flood
I'll  take that 20 dollars and cover your fur coat with blood
Macklemore:
I’ll steal your grandpa’s style and walk away smilin
Now when IM gone I don’t wanna see you crying
Show me the "Proof" that you even had a friend
Just like your D12 group, they need to come to an end.
You're mother almost died while giving birth? I wouldn't blame her.
And she even tried to sue you, mother of the year, right there!
The only thing this faggot can do is get de-homed,
theres only so many ways i can say you got owned!
Slim Shady:
Now that the real Slim Shady has finally stood up
I'm gonna tell Ben Faggerty to just shut the fuck up
You Cinderella Man, dressing up in your mom's fur coat.
You base all your songs on a retarded kids quote
My name is Slim shady dont forget it macklemore
Cause owning over and over is becoming a chore!
I'm the rap battle king, haven't you seen 8 mile? Sheesh!
Your raps stink more than R Kelly's Piss sheets
Andy Milonakis:
I rock peas on my head, but don't call me a peahead
it's time to show these swaggy-faggies that they truly inbred
I had my own show on MTV, all you had was lawsuits
You should be in a basket, because your raps are like fruits
That means you're little homosexuals that whine and cry
and write raps about your lifestory and how you want to die
Humor is a great defense mechanism
My raps will grow unlike my congential hormone syndrome.
Macklemore, more like Macklewhore, what's up with that?
Did Ryan Lewis touch your cold ass honkey, in your pants you went ka-splat?
I would rather eat a bag of Skittles than acknowledge Eminem
I will brutally stab you, throw you in a trunk like Kim
If you're a  dumb, spitting, wigger you're not the king of rap
Emimore, you're about get conjoined with a bitch slap
You're never gonna diss the Schmandy Schmilishmokas
Because it's my show, I'm Andy Milonakis

Eyedea:
I'm back from the dead, the monster inside has been released
By the end even eninem won't dream, you'll be deseased
I'm the God of freestyle your reading scripts to try and diss
You bring out my purest digust, you and your writers get me pissed
I'm the best kind, teach you a lesson We ain't fessin
Miss by a mile, blindly firin' well my rhymes are the best medicine
I've got abilities on my side so big Macklemore, try not to cry
I'd say I'm sorry to you homies but rockstars don't apologize
Slim Shady's just another joke, nobody knows the real him
And what the hell's a Milonakis, never heard of ya' double chin  
You have sinned against your savior hope the lord’s willing to free ya '
Just remember you can kill the man, but not the Eyedea.
Mac Miller:
Yo, hold on K.I.D.S , Mac Mill in the build
"Life Ain't Easy" when you're rapping against me
It's a good evening to walk the walk
with these Nikes on my feet
My raps are iller, you can call me Mac Miller
You can call me Mac Miller
M. Jackson, I'm so thriller
rhymes so sick
you’ll be “under the weather”
when it comes to rap 
it's got my name
“Diamond and gold” 
I got the fortune and fame
I'm running this rap game
I slap the Language out your mouth
You need “English lane”
“ONE MORE THING”
Funny thing is your ass is worse than LIL WAYNE
All of yall, I'm putting your name to fucking shame
Kid Rock:
ROOOOCK ON!! Kid Rock's here to kick some ass!
Just like my guitars, I put my raps on full blast
I'm Born Free, Rock and Rolling with Jesus
But before I do it again, I'll leave you re-habbers defeated.
Macklemore, you're just a boy talking about a gay bar
I can make a better song with a broken guitar
And marshall mathers or slim shady? Either way I'll teach you a lesson, 
Why don't you quit trying to rap and take some anti depressants?
Mr. Milonakis, you ain't packing heat you're packing pork,
 Why don't you get off your lazy ass and maybe put down the fork?
I've got an Eyedea, how 'bout I hang you by the throat, 
Everyone knows your not gonna die of a rap overdose.
Tupac:
The king has entered, so All Eyez on Me
I'm a hardcore legend, unlike these cracker pussies
I'll take all you punks at once, So lets see what you got, 
I'll own your asses faster than my black ass got shot]
Got a pack three times my name, ya'll are lame
you're a bunch of silly ass white rappers gaining cheap fame
So badass I was in jail before I was even born.
I'm a shining serpent with rhymes that don't get worn.
Ching ching, broke bitches, it's Check Out Time
And then time to sit yo asses down for a lesson in rhyme
Your raps are criminal, have fun with the fuzz
I'll snort and smoke you so harder than Snoop Dogg does
Keep ya head up, everybody, cause these fools going down
Shit's going down , the thug OG runs this town
They took me out in 96, but I'm still on stage, with B.I.G.
and the world will always remember me as the real MC
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES


Eminem vs Macklemore. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 14

Nathan as Nathan
Justin as Justin

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES PARODIES
NATHAN PROVOST
VS
JUSTIN BUCKNER
BEGIN!

Justin:
Looks like I'm Justin time to lay down the hurt
You call yourself a rapper but all I see is pure dirt
You can't get real girls, I'm a pimp can't you see?
Stop with the google girlfriends instead, 
SuperThingsOnCups:
JOIN EHARMONY!!
Justin:
Let me tell you about All the Stories on how I've kicked your ass
You're just a White Kid thinking that he can rap really fast
My editing was bad? You forgot to zoom in the backgrounds
on Mozart vs Skrillex when the characters moved around
Nathan, just listen, you always procrasti-NATE
You never film your parts in time, THEY ALWAYS COME IN LATE
You say you are obsessed with ERB, but 
Yet from what I can see, you're a rip off of DAMNTV!

Nathan: 
Otay, who's  this dickwad? The creator of this show?
Your rapping's way worse than when you played as Al Capone
This guy named Justin is way past his prime,
I'll put the W E in W/E into Winning Everytime!
When you dressed up in a suit, you weren't very Slender
Even Mr. Skrillex says "go make music with a blender."
I am ashamed the fact that you take all the crediting
The first and third battles were hated because your awful editing
Don't try to diss me, you won't even win
You think you're better because you're older?, you look like you're ten
You think you're great, all I see is a kid in a gay ass shirt.
You're not a rapper, You're just a Buckner who's butthurt

Justin:
Oh you almost have a thousand subs, congratu-freakin-lations
You got the worst accusations, just stop it already Nathan
With your lack of education and my rhymes in combination
It'll cause health complications that require medication
Just because you have green screen lighting and an expensive microphone
You think you're a pro musician but you aren't that well known
I won this battle now, look at the judge's panel
Go back to making unfunny videos on your gaming channel


Nathan:
JB are your initials, and you're like Justin Bieber
He's not cool, everyone hates him and nobody likes YOU either
You have 30,000 YouTube channels, just pick one for god's sake
Not to mention a ghost hunting channel,  I'm sure the evidence was fake
You freak out everytime your video gets a dislike
And you raged when your cover got a copyright strike
The truth is bro, in life you'll never succeed
So just leave ERBParodies, you make everyone's ears bleed.


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Nathan Provost vs Justin Buckner. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 16

Lyrics: 

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD
VERSUS
IRATE GAMER
BEGIN!


Irate Gamer:
Cowabunga! Time to beat this ugly dork from the past,
The ultimate duel of angry gamers has finally come at last!
You say I'm a copier of your show? Well, that's just damn absurd,
You are just an angry retard, you're not even really a nerd!
Your show is as lame as it gets! atleast mine has special effects
Ill take down this geek like G.I Joe took down the jets
I reviewed the worst games dude, your videos are simply a bore,
You have entered the Game Lab, now lemme give you a tour!
AVGN? doesnt even compare to the I.G
cuz this O.G is gonna make this has ben R.I.P
ET was something I reviewed before it was known,
I'll show you my robot Rob, He's as cool as a drone!
You wana duel with me? Ill make you my bitch in defeat!
since all you seem to talk about is the importance of skeet!
I'll Super Smash your hot wife, because you have all of my hate,
In other words, you little shit, YOU MAKE ME IRATE!
Angry Video Game Nerd:
YA know whats bullshiiit? Copy fuck farts like you,
Who think they can re create my show, and claim its something new!
Forget you man, lookin at your face makes me wanna hurl,
Just like Nintendo Power, You have the rap level of a girl!
Screw you, you're an anal bead covered in spit,
To make reviews of games you need to at least have some wit!
You need way more emotion to actually gain fans,
I have been making movies before you even had hands!
Bitch I'm a legend, I'll  cinemassacre your family,
you're just a troll-magnet, while i get all the flattery
Quit sittin around, jerking your Qbert on your NES
What kind of 25 year old fatass has never touched a girls' breasts?!?!
I'mma finish your ass like Legend of Zelda 2,
You are a solo douchebag trying to mess with my crew!
Angry Video Game Nerd don't forget it, I know you'll lose,
Because you love kissing my ass, just for a couple thousand views!
Irate Gamer:
Again, I don't copy you, how many times do I have to say it!?
I'll beat your ass and upload it, Hell, I'll even create a play list
Killing  you quick with wits, 
I don't need my fists, 
Whenever your name is said it just gets me pissed,
 you wanna battle with this? 
Just try and blits, 
I'll show this nerd some serious shit
I spit an aurora of hate bitch! I'll verbally rip off your balls,
Fuck your show man, once I'm famous I'll never give you any calls
So just shut the fuck up you twit, you will never beat me 
Your shitty rhymes were more repetitive than Ninja Turtles Three. 
Angry Video Game Nerd:
Here we go, it's time to take you back to the past,
to play the shitty games, like you, they probably suck ass
Your whole series should have ended before it even was thought of,
I'll shove my fist down your throat with my Nintendo Power glove,
Rolling rock your pets brains out, make you regret, and pout!
Hell if you even had a girlfriend, I would give her a shout
How can anyone give credit to a dude who steals original ideas
I would rather get shit on by a buffalo drenched in diarrhea.

Nostalgia Critic:
Prepare to get crushed by Channel Awesome
You're nothing but a Demo Reel, so proceed with caution
That Guy With The Glasses is here to kick both your asses
Shoot you piss holes with my pistol, abomination of assness
Here's a top eleven of why you suck with aplomb
Number one: you two SERIOUSLY overdrop the f-bomb
You've Doug your own grave, and now I Walker all over you
I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Rap Battles

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