she does what you never did
you don't know how hard it is
to wake up alone
if it's over it's funny it still makes you cold
when you know

that you couldn't step away
in hopes that a memory
of something you need, would ignite from the first thing
that i thought was real but it's not

and i said i'd wait for you
in silence and in solitude
if it can't get better
there's darkness ahead
but it's safer together
i'm gone

shake at the thought of you
i still think a lot of you
of things that you said
feel at home with the worst things i keep for myself

and the life you were dealt's not a thing that you wanted
and i wasn't either and you made it obvious
so i don't trust a fucking thing
the nicest face could do the same
i think about it everyday
i wish i never let you in

make it quick i'm still here waiting
lost my mind way back in Salem 
all at once you've only been all i want

and the life you were dealt's not a thing that you wanted
and i wasn't either and you made it obvious
wait for the day that your body decays
just to hear that they love you
cause they never will

Snow Cabin

hold the applause
produced by @prodbybrody
featuring @sewerperson
mixed by nine to 5 and sewerperson

lyrics:
both:
so won't you hold the applause
cause its all that i got
i know its not a lot, but it feeds me the strength that i would need to move on

nine to 5:
I did all the things that i said i would
Try to push me to the side but you never could no
I’m breaking through the walls it’s competitive
Now im taking to the bottle like a sedative woah

After all of this time and i still get it wrong
I won’t tell you what you wanted hear no more
Yeah you played me a game tryna get up the score
But i aint finished yet i’m still coming for more

So won’t you hold the applause
Cuz its all that i got
You tore it apart
It was doomed from the start
Fallin for your mirage 

Falling from nothing
But oh its so exciting
To go
To these places i aint been before
You took hold my body sunk it into the floor

going insane, my body is sore
i feel a lot different than i did before
seasons have changed, i'm closing these doors
i'm burning these bridges can't take anymore
so take all i am, i'll do what i can
but nothing will satisfy you in the end
but i understand, it's all gone as planned
you fucked up my head but i'll take what i can

sewerperson:
Seventeen nights in the grip of cold hands
Baby i try do u right while u just doing what u can
Wails heard thru the night from somewhere deep inside the branch
Toss out a flare we can light up the world
Ash floats thru the air as this fire unfurls
Tell me how this shit compare to a night better spent
Watch The banshee touch down on to the charring grasslands

Won’t you hold the applause
Cause its all that I got
I know its not a lot but it feeds me the strength I would need to move on
With her taste on my tongue
And my hand on my heart
I cant be what u need but I swear on my life I will be what u want
With the grace of a wisp
She comes right around and attaches to my hip
She whispers are u scared and I said maybe just a bit
U know I cant lie when u look at me like this
When u look me in my eyes
I know u could see into my soul into my mind
U know I know I could never get away with lying
That’s why its the truth that without u id rather die

listen on spotify!

nine to 5 - hold the applause ft. sewerperson (prod. brody)

produced by 🦠 homesick x jolst 

uh, i feel it x 6262662

she say slow down
goin too fast
for my liking
please don’t do that
she can’t take it 
got a new man
ima break him 

she don’t want no fun or want no drama
she got eyes just like her mama 
and a rage and vile temper just like hades 

she say she say baby please don’t do that
friends all hate her, rushi sunak
drop 2 bills on a half a set, and now im shakin

haven’t popped a pill or sipped a litre
since last year, im livin cleaner
got a baby on the way, and now i’m chasin 

chasin the bag
fell off last year, how tf i do that
had this whole shit in the palm of my hand
i got too lazy, took eyes off the plan 
let u boys win now i’m finally back
scene wants some drama, sendflowrs ur man
indirect tweets go and work on your jab 
fuckin cokeheads go and put down the bag
i hit the gym, smoke a blunt and i’m grand :)
dropped out of uni, got tired of that 
quit my old job, i got tired of that
listening to bullshit, got tired of that
jolst and homesick, on the beat make it slap

uh x 5262662

hades (jolst + homesick)

prod: @jolst

i just wish you were here
holding me
cause my thoughts hurt less
when you lay next to me
but u don’t care at all
blame it on the alcohol
is there something there that i can’t see
how the fuck am i supposed to breathe
like oh
it’s okay if you wanna let go
i know you probably need a little more
i just miss when you were close
i know how this shit go
fall apart when it gets cold
n i start to get feel real low
know you’ll leave me when it snows

when it snows
iced out had to put on a coat
neck cold but my hearts on froze
fucked up i can’t do this alone
baby why u gotta do me like that
n still ask why my songs so sad
everyday gotta put on a mask
happy eyes with a knife in my back

i say i love you
“i love you too”
most days i can’t get enough of u
when you leave i feel it
it’s hard to deal with
the crushing weight of this lonely feeling
rain it trickles
cry a little
nothings real
it’s so artificial
“you’re too brittle”
how i am supposed to feel when you speak in riddles

i know i’m cold sometimes
but i could never lie to you
i always say i’m fine
i really don’t know what to do
i need you a little too much
i’m scared that i’m never enough
when you get distant it feels like i probably fucked up
get a little too scared i don’t mean much



snow (slowed and reverbed)

prod fats'e 

lyrics: 

hit me with the combo then
grieving while it's burning and
madness piles up again
bracing for a triple up
hiding for another month
running from the mourning dove
your paintings hanging on my wall
remembering when i was young
wish i could've said farewell
bracing for a triple up
hiding for another month
running from the mourning dove

i've been searching for the remedy
stuck inside my memories 
stuck inside for weeks 
i'm in my room just pacing endlessly
thought that i'd get wiser but i still feel like i'm 23
my eyes have gotten drier 
now i think i'm numb to everything
colors bleed right off the tapestry
embrace another tragedy 
circling above there's hidden messages i'm yet to see
embrace the raven calling me and pull me close 'till i can't breathe
losing you is proof that maybe i'm not numb to everything

mourning dove

i hear cracks from the mirrors inside
glitter n light in front of my eyes
with it coming too close into sight
scared of what might be coming alive
i left notes about taking my life
and the scenes that unfold in my mind
give me reasons for why i should hide
now that i’ve seen their hollow disguise

my sudden demise
they’d cope
but i can’t lie
they’d know
that i had died with hope
lost

i feel my heart turn cold
pick up a moss clad stone
sneaking along cold floors
now

then i see it
turn of the corner
i hear heavy breathing
running for cover
the terror is seething
at this point there’s no god to believe in

oxygen low, bone dry
sucking out all my life
clenching my fists, ready to fight
checking again if i’m dead or alive

the daylight vanished before i could catch it (dash)

Lyrics:

Hey
What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
My heart's been sewn up a couple times
My cars been totaled a couple times
What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
Your phones been blown up a couple times
Like who am I to you
Like who am I to you 

I feel like an asshole half of the time
'Cause I don't want to be brushed aside
I just want to be recognized
For how hard I always try
Talking to the ghosts up in my mind
They kind of look like you I'm not gon' lie
We kiss and it tastes like formaldehyde
When you're gone I close my eyes
'Cause it's a place to hide
But why can't I just be there for myself
If I love me then I don't need nobody else
I like to think that I'd choose heaven over hell
This life is purgatorial that's how I feel

Hey
What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
My heart's been sewn up a couple times
My cars been totaled a couple times
What if I was dead
Would I be up in your head
What would be all the stuff you said
That's what's going through my head
But I shouldn't have to die
To know I'm something in your eyes
Your phones been blown up a couple times
Like who am I to you
Like who am I to you

what if I was dead

showing up for someone doesn’t have to be complicated. sometimes just being there is enough.

lyrics:
if you had a bad day we can talk about it
or we can forget and just do something else
i don't want you feeling like it's overwhelming
as long as i'm alive you won't be by yourself
[x2]

wanna be with you, i don't wanna wait
cause when i'm with you i feel i'm okay
i know you feel like no one understands you
i'm here to help you however i can
you're not alone, girl, you know that i'm here for you
i'm here for you
i know i already told you
you're not alone in the shit that you go through
i'll always be here to hold you

if you had a bad day we can talk about it
or we can forget and just do something else
i don't want you feeling like it's overwhelming
as long as i'm alive you won't be by yourself
[x2]

(i'm here for you)

bad day [flower]

Mardi Gras Love

fading away

Lil P3r$ies - Graffiti

my album ‘in the woods’ is coming this halloween

what if I was dead

foreign forest