7.17.23 the person i wrote this song about left last night

waking up here again
above all you said we'd be here together
but nothing lasts forever
yeah nothing lasts forever
stuck inside this game of yours
constantly worried that ur bored
bored of me my texts are green
i texted u so patiently
please tell me is it worth it
take oxy my stomachs hurting
throw up outside the curtains
wish i still knew for certain
sweet release
you got me down on my knees
ill do whatever you need

hook

Forever

this is only sped up cus i thought it was too long

in the summer of 2022 thats when i met you
getting vaccines for school ooo
u were so sweet and kind so pretty and devine
i wanted to end my life but you
showed me that skys werent grey
that there was always happy days
turned my heart into clay 
i really miss you babe

to think abt all those months we spent last year
through fall and autumn and winter and summer
we talked and we talked and we had fun alot
and u were always gone but it was fine i didnt care

we were so happy u'd call me on instagram
and we would talk abt our days and id play guitar for you
and u said not to cut my hair cus u liked it long
and then i cut it when u were gone and i wrote this song

"juli says not to cut my hair she says let it grow"
well i will let you know

its hard to look at all the funny moments and the laughter
and the memories right after everything has gone to shit
i think abt the months we spent and then the months before that
and all i can think abt is how i wanna go to florida 

i dont hate u i was hurting i said shit i never meant
i handled the aftermath poorly and thats why you came and went
i know that if i was more mature or if i just used my words instead of screaming and yelling
then you wouldve still have been following my instagram and liking all my stories
we could just be friends and then something

i cant laugh look at the photographs
that shit it makes me sick
i hate it i hate it
i wanna die

now everything reminds me of you
like the nhk poster in my room
but its not too late we can still reconvene-

bugcatcherjuli (komi cant communicate season 2 episode 6)

hey brown eyes youre always walking away
ive got something i wanted to say
i love your face and i love you

hey pretty girl you always make my day
you dont know that on this day
i never could say
i fell for you

i'll wait by the phone
so please tell me when you go
but i'll waste time at home
that way youre never ever alone

do you remember when you picked up my pencil in 11th grade in geometry class?

prod me


I don’t act delicate
As much as I wish I did
I want a gentlemen
That's genuine

I'm lacking so much estrogen
Blocky build and hairy skin
Such a contradicting specimen
God I wish I was feminine
Wish I was a lesbian

I hate my body
My head is throbbing
Illuminati
I wanna be a hottie

I wish I wasn’t 6 feet tall
I wish it didn’t look like I had balls
I wish I didn’t bleach my fucking hair
Cause now it falls out
Fuck me who cares
Fuck me who cares

I wish I wasn’t flat
And I arched my back
I wish I was a pretty cat
And not an ugly little rat
I wish I was born just an average girl
But now I get made fun of by what seems to be the world
I wanna be a girl
I wanna be a girl
I wanna be a girl
I wanna be a girl!

I hate my body
My head is throbbing
Illuminati
I wanna be a hottie
I hate my body
My head is fucking throbbing
Illuminati
I wanna be a hottie

i wanna be a girl cover

are you upset
just tell me how u feel 
ive been unkempt
but maybe i should pick up cigarettes
cus lately ive been feeling so upset

whats the problem lately?
am i the one youre hating?
my mind it keeps on racing
its fine i think im crazy

i'll knock on every damn door in marina del ray
till i find the right one and i can finally say
that i hate you
i hate you

i know im going crazy

never thought id ever fall for someone again
ive always kinda hated romance and all of  that stuff
twitter girl she made my 
heart flutter
and melted my head 
like butter

she posts on twitter everyday
likes its r9k
i really dunno why but i like it anyway
and if she looked my way
i think id pray
that she would stay

never thought id ever fall for someone again
ive always kinda hated romance and all of  that stuff
twitter girl she made my 
heart flutter
and melted my head 
like butter

twitter girl

https://open.spotify.com/track/6ReT2Geigzi2td8QLa3lAC?si=c6e1ff776f6f4f9a

i swear i never cry
you wont beat me in a fight
i wanna get high 
at the smile lands and die

just me alone
why cant you leave alone
just me alone
why wont you leave alone

i miss you ramone 
i fucking miss you ramone

make time to write off
your advice

i want you to know that im not crazy
im just lazy 
a little bit hazy

baby im the one who cried the wolves out tonight
watch me as i watch you cry you wanna get high

just me alone
why cant you leave alone
just me alone
why wont you leave alone

dead girlfriend

(everything prod by me)
ive had this song in my drafts for a reaaallly long time and i was finally able to get it done and im rlly happy with how it turned outt :> im probs gonna make more stuff like this in da future 

lyrics:
think im losing my mind
cuz i was so blind
lovers intertwined 
we were meant to bind 

ill kiss between your scars
and hold you in my arms 
so i can never forget you
stay right beside you
maybe this worlds not so gray
and i will live another day 
holding you close to me
cuz darling youre all i need  

take a piece of my aching heart
and keep it locked 
throw the key in a wishing well 
and let my love forever dwell
can you hear my silent cries
i dont know why i even try
is it so hard to feel something?
or maybe i just meant nothing 

defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)
defect (youre the one)

the angels in the sky
will pick us up and help us fly 
by our sheer destiny 
our love is heavenly 	
ive been living in a dream
but i dont wanna wake up
no i dont wanna wake up
no i dont wanna wake up

take a piece of my aching heart
and keep it locked 
throw the key in a wishing well 
and let my love forever dwell
can you hear my silent cries
i dont know why i even try
is it so hard to feel something?
or maybe i just meant nothing

and so our love prospers

1 Timothy 2-5

I'll Kick Your Ass


Plastic faces, hollow bones
Fools in thrones, feeding on drones
Gold teeth grinning, souls decayed
Empty laughs in a sick parade

Celebrity scum, rot in the light
Glittered filth, dying of spite
Kingless crowns, hollow and vain
Feeding the world your glittered shame

Velvet cages, diamond chains
Cackling through your hollow veins
Step on the crowd, lick the floor
Worshiped fools who deserve no more

Celebrity scum, rot in the light
Glittered filth, dying of spite
Kingless crowns, hollow and vain
Feeding the world your glittered shame

Rot, decay, we see it all
Empire of dust, destined to fall
Scum of the screens, faces so fake
We’ll watch your gilded world break

Fools in mirrors, screaming inside
Your plastic kingdom has nowhere to hide
Celebrity scum, your time is done
Ashes remain, swallowed by none


CELEBRITY SCUM

demos & throwaways (main is @h4rtbrkr)

i delete stuff alot and then spam upload and then reupload said deleted stuff

do you remember when you picked up my pencil in 11th grade in geometry class?

h2rtbrkr