The power of mean girls flows through you.

bblackroses as Sasha Waybright
garbageGothic as Susie
King Mewtwo as Grime

Written by Quizzique and Alchemyking
Beat Arrangement by SIR Rap Battles
Mixed and Mastered by GlitchDude
Beat prod. by Anywaywell
Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Kamren

Sasha (0:13)
Well, this is disappointing, another lizard I’m tasked to destroy? That’s
Annoying, but this appointed rebel leader will still enjoy it
Draw it out in chalk, this match will be like your concept, an apparent steal
I’m spearheading revolutions, you revolve around Holiday spirit while riding on a Ferris wheel

Your ’fun gang’s just a glorified school club, while I rallied an army
How do you manage to flub your rhymes AND your classes despite looking like Barney?
I’ve just got a couple notes for what your game could improve and how
‘Cause like War of the Warlocks, it’s another fantasy that I’m tuning out

Susie (0:41)
Hey, Kris, where the FUCK did we just get dropped?
I guess we’ve got something in common, we both just got swamped
Well, I’ll gladly stomp you with my blade if you wanna throw swords
Haven’t seen a pink gem this manipulative since Rose Quartz

It’s fitting you’re a cheerleader, with how you’re raising RED FLAGS
You step on daggers with Grime? I’ll disarm you like his LEFT HAND
You call your friends the Sharps, but your bonds with them all FELL FLAT
The true Calamity is that all THREE of you got BACKSTABBED

Put Anne’s friends in danger, and you handled Wartwood miserably
When talking cliff-hangers, heh, you would take that too literally
Think your parents splitting apart caused you grief? Ha, just watch
I’ll slice through you! But after Anne, you must be used to getting cut off

Sasha & Grime(1:22)
Grime:
Sasha, are you gonna just sit there and let this beast try to devour us?

Sasha:
Grimesy, please, all she eats is garbage, but I’m glad she’s spitting it out again
I flew through space, while you run around beating up puzzle pieces? You’re powerless
Spent so much time inside that closet, maybe you should try coming out of it

Tension’s present with Noelle, but you’re still wrapping/rapping awfully
Honestly, you’re just a softie, couldn’t even hit Lancer properly!
And you’re chatting’ bout Grime? Well, you’re one to talk, aren’t you?
With your two lackluster chapters, did Darcy slice Toby’s arm, too?

Twitter and Berdly simp for you, those blue nerds are nothing, dude
Compared to my heron blade: now that’s three birds crushing you
And cliff-hangers? Like your tail, that insult serves no function
Because I could timeskip, and your game would still be in production

Even with my PhD, I just can’t comprehend your following
Can’t think outside the box, fitting you dressed as one for Halloween
Got signs of being psychopathic with your edgy aggression
But since you’re in my demographic, we can schedule a session


Susie (2:17)
Like your prison food, that verse was grueling; it’s like I’m the one chained in bars
You were hardly electrifying, guess that’s why you’re scared of taking charge
Everyone around you has played a part in attempting to conceal the truth
Your prophecy’s outlined with chalk, but now I’ll be the one to deal the runes

Even Rouxls Kaard has sharper schemes - you lead troops to their doom with your bad plans
Man, forget rooting in the barn, she’s about to go and join Rudinn in the trash can
You had camaraderie with Braddock and Percy, but hammered it away out of impulse
Whether socially or as a sign to stop, like LA traffic you can’t pick up signals

We’re not so different in a way, we’ve both been made to use others
But at the end of the day, everyone shows their True Colors
It’s truly ironic that Waybright’s who this Lightner’s snuffing out
You’ve suffered a crushing defeat, it’s the end of discussion now

Sasha Waybright Vs Susie | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #6(ft. bblackroses and garbageGothic)

Boom Boom vs. Papyrus - Mario vs. Anything!


Snakebite126 As Papyrus 


RaccoonBroVA As Boom Boom


WAN As Kamek


Art by WAN


Mixed by Jort


Chiselled by Raisu Battle


Written by King Ducky


Research assistance from King Wallace & We Think company

Cover Art by Danger


Beat prod. Anywaywell & Glitchdude


Papyrus:

I'm known as the great Papyrus, not afraid to get straight to violence !!! 

Skeletons don't have brains inside us, yet you're the one who's insane and mindless !!!

Those limbs won't stay, they'll fly off! The way that you’re swaying exciting your arms when you charge,

Dizzily maiming and fighting with walls, makes sense that he's not invited to Mario Kart !!!


You're a disgrace of a brute, you grab your tongue have it taped to my shoe

This headache should be used to the taste of a boot! (Nyhehehehehee!)

This inane goof is way overused, devs are too lazy to make something new

So they stay with the same gameplay loop, and gamers stray away by playing a flute !!!


Because of this awesomest brawn that I got Undyne knows I've a shot at the Royal Guard !!! 

But my chances will not top all of the stomps you call “plots” that been foiled are

So better get Kamek for backup his magic will hand you the chance of 

Not napping in battle when you get all tired out madly attempting to land an attack on !!!


Boom Boom:

As those doors crashed open and ya began rattling off dad jokes

I can now understand why in Smash-Bros, only Sans shows

Ya stand so tall yet ya trapped in that fat jokes shadow

Must be tampering with ya eyes, you can't see past it like a lamp post!


And those puzzles put me to rest n’ yet I still get something from them lesser quests

If I put my foot up at your head ya eyes should be xs when I step on em! 

His schemes are literally a walk in the park, all would know that id drop him easy

Sans and you must be the rotting-up corpses of Wario and Waluigi! 


IIIIM BOOM BOOM BOOM B-BOOM B-BOOM BOOM Like how ya traps blow up in ya face!

THE HUGE NUKE OF THE KOOPA TROOP Meanwhiiiiile ya got nothing to say!

Skinny bones ain't no meaty opponent one shitty throw could leave him beat and broken

The utmost weakest joke in Snowdin holding pity votes as a means of coping!


Papyrus:

Pissed off? I would be too if I only exist cuz of a pit stop

Which rots at the center of worlds: This mid boss is a mid boss (Nyeh-heh-heh!)

Now comes my secret move which defeats a goon in 3 in tune hits

It would leave you confused and seeing stars but it seems you beat me to it !!! 


WHAT, These stupid dogs have ruined it all, including both you and this new sup one

Whos useless boss has been used so much, won't needa beat ya to know you fell off !!!

Your putrid plot is moving left and right, at best can fly, SANS, THE PESTICIDE !!!

He spent his life endlessly obsessed with guys who tend to best his efforts every time !!!  


Kamek:

Once upon a time a boneless sidekick had his hopes to fight and

Be Royal guard but was regarded as too barebones and kind

He thought humankind as slow n spineless cuz they had chosen violence 

But then Frisk came along…


Boom Boom:

Could say that they left ya open minded! (Kamek: OHHHHH!!!)


Gonna be honest ready? it's easy to know what pastas from your awful recipe

If one chomp and there's vomit on his top already then it's gotta be Paps spaghetti!

Ya blue hearts been botchin’ any shot it gets yet he still pretends to be all optimistic

So I'd call it fittin that you're the skeleton here your love lifes nonexistent!

Boom Boom vs. Papyrus - Mario vs. Anything!

Lyrics / Beat / Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1h6OcvFVeWh4NNBTc3uFJIyWyT9eOeyG59r7QRNtI2TI/edit?usp=sharing
Quizzique as Redd
Mancha as Spamton
Written by MetaMachine and GamingPlush64
Mixing by ENNWAY
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by 2Deep
Hint for next battle: "Absented minded knuckleheads"

Spamton vs. Redd

I simply did this for fun, don't ask.

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man - Rap Off!

Shadow: Titanium1208
Muscle Man: CornCob7178 
Beat produced by: Lezter
Written by: CreeperPasta, CornCob7178 and box
Thumbnail by: CreeperPasta 
Art by: Tompuffs
Mixed by: box

Shadow:
You gotta be serious. This is my challenge? You gotta remember the monsters I've dismembered
The villains I've beaten... Green Eggs And Ham; your lifespan is about to be as short as your temper
I’ve seen better pranksters on YouTube. You and your crew knew I don’t fuck around with trolls
So stop the cap or I'll pop a cap on your tail before you start to rap. Heads gonna roll
Outrace me with a golf cart? (Ha!) This slobs dire…
Watch your entire front yard turn to a bonfire!
High-Five’s missing a finger, now thats in poor taste
You’re pals cause neither can even live up to your names
I’ve got more weapons than a war general
Got more green than that DAMN 4th chaos emerald
You live like a pig and behave like an asshole
Rigby changed his name, but you’re the real Trashboat
Speaking of such, what’s up with Starla? Big the Cat is smaller than her in comparison
You’re both alike, squealing and whinning like babies when you don’t get each others attention
It's not the first time a game boss leaves you smoked
Even if you try to win with your repetitive joke
The second your mom is dissed, you start to fit
Like The Hammer’s leg, Mitch should just drop the bit

Muscle Man: 
Yo Rigby! I think I found your emo cousin!
I tell you to make some sense/cents, but with so many ends in your game, this hogs worth nothing
You say I'm dirty, have you seen your fandom lately?
They're scaring away all the ladies!
But I'm not worried, I've got my Starla
Who do you have? Your own shoulder to cry on?
Oh no bro, watchu think you doin' with that strap? Take that away and don't bring it back
I can hear Linkin Park in the background. Tried to stay underground but that shit's wack
You're too slow, bro! Like a Pokémon I do not catch. Gun smoked that Maria pack. 
You low budget Mewtwo. Go back to Gerald to cry in your puny lab! Rat! 

Shadow:
Naming my lost ones? Careful or it might fire back. Ask Muscle Dad
At least that fraud died to a bear, you almost died chugging hot dogs, man
You don’t want this smoke, last time you shot fires you got skinned in the woods
So if you take it there, I’m taking it further- psssst, that’s something you don’t wanna do

Muscle Man:
I remember you was conflicted, but you went through a few changes, haven't you?
I'm not talking about super. You know who else got hoed by IDW?
You know who else has amnesia but can't forget the mistakes they have done?
You know who else says “Nothing personel, kid” and lets their friends die? My mom! 

Shadow:
No bars left? I'll shoot opps next. I don't need guns
Drop a bead on Pop's head? That's a bit fucked
Your pop's dead and your mom's next. That is real, son
Four punchlines full of lead, that's a Fist Pump
Like your family tree, this won't get beautiful
I hope you know a guy who can arrange your funeral
If I hear any more edgy jokes, I promise
I'll do you way worse than what you did to Thomas

Muscle Man:
You’re so ungrateful. If it wasn’t for the fans you wouldn’t be here today
You were created to save a life. Mariah would be ashamed of those you took away
Riding alone with your regrets, every chance he gets more repressed, and what for, brother?!
This ultimate waste of life form just got buried by a gardener 

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man-Rap Off! (ft. Titanium1208 & CornCob7178)

This is the last time I do anything for that fuck shimario

BobcatXtreme as J. Jonah Jameson
TaigaTonic as Benson
Writing by Alchemyking
Additional help by JoJoVo
Art by Teimunity
Beat by kulture.
Mixing by Jort
Cover art by Kamren the Person
Special thanks: Matt Raichous, WoodenHornets, MetaStarVA, J.G. Quintel, & Shimario

JJJ:
HOFFMAN! Get this gumball machine out my office!
Against the Jameson, he can’t recoup his losses
Ego so big, your head is bigger than Pops’ is
But I’ll show you who the boss is!

Let me get my pen and print a headline:
“Jameson Hits Deadline, Makes Moron Choke Because His Bars Are Eggcelent!”
In comparison, he’s stretched more thin than the Spider-Menace’s webbing is
So I’ll put my two cents in, then dispense of him!

Think you’re some kind of master at handling your temperament?
It’s obvious that Benson flips the second that some slackers leave him upstaged
PARKER! Snap some pictures of his red face
Then you’ll get paid, and I’ll put it on the front page

Such a cowardly hothead, you’d prolly get some chicken wings to eat
And down it all with some Mississippi Queen
And then you steal employees’ lunch when they’re already tired?
Sit down, please. …You’re fired.

Benson
Mordecai, Rigby! Don’t slack on the beat
I know that you hate picking up trash from the scene
But you’ll get a raise if you make like the vigilante he seethes at
And kick this dirtbag from the streets!

It’s plain as day, the way you slave your place is brutal
It just takes whistleblowers to shut down the Daily Bugle
Think they’re making stacks, then you drop stacks of files on ‘em
With that mug, you look like you’d go “Sieg Heil!” on ‘em

You’re losing this bout
Cause this time, it’s the gum that’s chewing you out
Your seed in the Big Apple is rotten, I’d say it’s rather obvious
You stretch people’s hands in your offices like Doctor Octopus

You’re the real villain, keeping teens hobblin’
And withholding pay so Peter keeps jobbin’
Your profits only go to your nicotine hobby
Yet you ended up smoked by a different Green Goblin

JJJ
I’m not Susan, but don’t mind if I copy 
‘Cause your own mug ain’t even fit to hold my coffee!
Spent your past playing hockey games and hitting on drums
It fits you turned from a badass to a stick in the mud

That dome head won’t protect you, even if your residence blasted off
Either way, I’d still be sonning this astronaut
And speaking of domes, you went nuts when you were shut in
So you have no right to snap when people push your buttons

Benson
I’m used to irregular shows, but it’s out of the ordinary
How a man with no heart can still suffer a coronary
Maybe it’s ‘cause you added to Spider-Man’s foes in the ring?
Honest, the way you treated Scorpion stings

You got me pissed off, banking off of fear and pain
I’ll go ballistic on you, leave a smear campaign
You wanna say my mug’s ugly? Your plans were for nothing
‘Cause it’s abundantly clear your wife can’t handle a mugging

J. Jonah Jameson vs. Benson - AK Rap Battles

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMTAEX_K_ME

(0:10) Cr1TiKaL Verse 1:
There’s not many things as barren as this pile of bones
Yet this dude makes Burger King look like my sloppy fat chode
If you don’t know what I mean, here I… I’ll play a clip
(plays clip of dry bones dying) …what a bitch…
The ice age got nothing to what this meaty boy can bring
I spit so fucking cold, I’ll make your whole species extinct
I’ve covered a lot of snakes, they’re nothing to how you race
Yeah, fuck your kart games, I got something you cannot tank

(0:34) Dry Bones Verse 1:
You think your puny slap will leave me hurt? (nope!)
Bring your hot peppers, I won’t feel any burns *evil laugh!*
Funny this lite Jesus Christ is really trying to fight
Cause between you and I, it’s clear who can truly revive
Don’t need a pair of parawings to know I’m fly
Dry Bone drip’s tight, Charlies only repping White
Bro, don’t try and fight, I know what you’re all about
You’d be frightened by someone pulling their cockroach out!
Pumping out nothing but your constant talking
It is like you set a speedrun bounty on your content
Quality nosedived since you got your start on QWOP (heh!)
Guess you’re just another case of Penguinz falling off

(1:06) Cr1TiKaL Verse 2:
All of that was so untrue, it hurts (yeah…)
I’ve seen less horseshit come from poopy unicorns *gets hit in the balls and yells in pain*
You get no pussy, now all this guy’s shown
Is that this bitch’s getting pegged, now that’s a Dry Bone

(Hey Charlie) Go and bone me 
(Hey Charlie) Like all your gimmicks
(Hey Charlie) Take notes from Moby 
(yeah..) I’m topping this dick 

(Gay Charlie) You’re only ridden by the Mario Bros.
So yeah, plugging you into the moist meter… uh yeah, that’s pretty low
He’s dry to the bone although if you wanna cop a date
See my dude Nikocado because you lack that water weight
Thought you’d kill in back and forths, but you’re nothing to my harsh lines
Because this is the greatest rap verse of All Time! (WOOOOOOOO!!!!)

(1:39) Dry Bones Verse 2:
Really, that’s all you got to say?
I dropped dead and still had more points to make (yep…)
Cause you cover drama often, but add nothing to the topic
My side-scrollers got more depth than any of your content
You profit off of others but what I find most surprising
Compared to me, your personality is way more lifeless
Went from Hunger Games actor to just another reactor
Now you’re far from solid, put you bottom of the liquid ladder

------------------------------------

Cr1TiKaL (audio) - Ego (Chandler)
Cr1TiKaL (video) - TaigaTonic
Dry Bones - ENNWAY

Charlie 1: Pixel Chris
Charlie 2: Nooby
Charlie 3: JustGamer
Charlie 4: Danii
Drew Gooden: Joosh

Written by Dan
Additional help by TaigaTonic, Dilly, and ENNWAY
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat produced by Dansonn Beats
Dry Bones art by Nooby

Cr1TiKaL vs Dry Bones (Powerofdan Rap Battles)

Watch the battle on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-AS7ppwvFvA

► CREDITS:

Theme Park Avenue as Slope Dude

Luke Reardon as The Abominable Snowman

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Slope Dude Art by Valonide

Abominable Snowman Art by BMB

Beat Prod. by Diamond Style

Mixed by Nikki

Thumbnail by LimJJ

Slope Dude Vs The Abominable Snowman. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have musical entities that cause stress to those who come across them; Mad Piano from Big Boo’s Haunt in Super Mario 64 versus Bop It, 90’s audio toy sensation. Enjoy!

TheMonarchy as Mad Piano
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMonarchyVA / https://www.youtube.com/@OliTheMonarchy / https://www.youtube.com/@monarchybattleraps
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/olithemonarchy
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/oli-the-monarchy

Eric the Audible as Bop It
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@EricTheAudible
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/erictheaudible
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/central-rap-battles  

-LYRICS-

Mad Piano (0:09)
Yo! Looking for eight coins? There’s one to your left!
But it’s not the only thing I have covered in red
I’ll bop you ‘til you shatter! Make your circuitry bleed sparks
Plus you’ll find the key of my teeth… B#
See this chair? Sit down, take the polite road
Soprano C, you’re gonna scream out on a high note
I'm not settling, I demolish a score
I keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging!
It’s like this Dizaster got me paying homage to Cort
See these coffins falling? Next thing you know, you’re falling in yours
On the topic of court; for being lame, you've stood accused
I'm not judging when these shelves start throwing books at you
Had a little fad and just kept extending that
It's like Simon Said "instead of memory, test their attention span"
Between the cash grabs and narrators so obnoxious
I got a command for you!... stop it.

Bop It (0:54)
Did I rattle your cage, dude? You’re Mad cuz I’m way smooth
Piano should stay tuned! I’m naturally playin’ you!
Wanting red? I’ll leave you spinning. You gotta be kidding
Thinking you’re the grand type... You’re more MIDI
You move so slow, I circle you with no running
If you hear boos around you, It’s not your ghost buddies
Haven’t you realized I’m twisted yet?
Fitnessgram shit; I'll make sure Suicide Drills in your head
You’re the least scary thing in your “sCaRy oLd hOuSe”
Walking wobbly like you hopped off the merry-go-round
Wait, yeah, you belong in that kinda room
There's been a remake and a port: this piano’s on loop (c’mon!)
More per minute, you’re getting b-b-beaten
You couldn’t hit me in Smash R-R-Remix
Save the jumpscare, you won’t pull it with me
After your little lullaby, I’m going to sleep!

-CREDITS-

Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by 2Deep
Beat purchased by Fightmarker

Feedback by TheMonarchy, Fightmarker, Syroquise, and the spaceship
Shoutout to RacconBroVA, Dilly, TaigaTonic, Dani, Sculpture_, and the Smash Remix team

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Bop It vs Mad Piano | Rap Battle (HARB)

► CREDITS:

Belle Beniko as Larry the Lobster

Eric the Audible as Mr. Poolcheck

Luke Reardon as Spongebob Squarepants

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Larry Art by 3ple

Poolcheck Art by Valonide

Beat by Khwezi

Beat Arranged by Theme Park Avenue

Mixed by Serena

Thumbnail by LimJJ

Special thanks to Chaotic Rap Battles, JoJoVo, RaccoonBroVA, Alchemyking


►LYRICS:

Larry Verse 1
“Larry! We’ve got a guy who’s drowning in tears!”
I’ll handle this, I haven’t seen good lifeguard action in years

“Be careful, Larry, this guy looks pretty shredded!” Oh yeah, I’m with you
But dude, he’s so uptight, I bet his pants are ripped too

And his face is even redder than mine, that’s pretty troubling
Excuse me, sir, you really need to put on sunscreen

And please don’t pass emotional burdens to little kids
If you want to lift the weight off your shoulders, then hit my gym


Poolcheck Verse 1
Hmm, you’re shallow, you treat this job like free time
You’re not fit for the deep end, you’re more fit to be deep fried

If you applied to be my assistant, I’d have you kicked out
Since you’re the only lifeguard who almost let a fish drown!

You insolent fool! 
You need to show some more respect to the municipal pool and her magnificent rules

You have no character, and based on the pH level I tasted
You’re throwing off the balance of this place ‘cause you’re so basic

In Gravity Falls, we face a lot of great threats
What with the Gobblewonker, zombies, talking nacho, and Jeff

And yet the pool’s the only one who left a scar on a man
So if you think my job’s a joke, then you can talk to the hand!


Larry Verse 2
Whoaaa, that’s gnarly! But I’m not dumb enough to lose a claw like that
And even if I somehow were, then I’d just grow it back

Ha! So clearly I have the best physical features
Your body’s living off bleach, my body’s lifting the bleachers

And my beach is always bustling with the best guests
They love me ‘cause I’m tough yet laid-back, like a bench press

You’re only getting bad press because of how you yell at folks and leave them scarred
The city pool is dying thanks to you, you need to see PR

And save your breath, man, your swimming skills are nada
In the water, you’d be one more filter-feeder at the bottom 

I’ve destroyed you like your skimmer, now I’m off to hit some waves
But I’m gonna have to wait for an hour, ‘cause I just ate


Poolcheck Verse 2
Enough! I’ll give you props for using SPF 100
You have the lifeguard look, but you really like to rub it in 

I think you use the white stuff for the wrong kind of exposure
And you like to flex your muscles ‘cause you’re nothing but a poser! 

You don’t care about the job, when you wanted a tan, you left your station
A lifeguard needs to be dedicated, not desiccated!

You puff yourself up as devoted,
But you should hang the whistle up, you don’t have the drive to be a blowfish

Sasha Waybright Vs Susie | QUIZZICAL QUARRELS #6(ft. bblackroses and garbageGothic)

hazelmoth