im gonna tell my grandsons about this song

produced by heylog

lyrics:
stop
(what)
where did we go wrong
like.. it hasn't even been long
i always search for u
but hell, i don't have a clue
i might've made you a song
but
does that even have a cost?
no
well baby it's all that i've got
hoping that we could just stop
listen here u need to know
come closer this is unknown
our love is what i'd die for
i don't bluff so let's explore
(ok)
i love you and no one else
i left u so i'll take the guilt
please don't move and just sit still
please don't go it's me i'll kill

i trusted you, i guess rn ur dead to me
i look at you and every time i grit my teeth
she said we're friends but na ur not friends w me
and i swear u would never get along w me
look
u were the only friend i ever had
but i still have all these cuts along my back
thought i'd never forgive you
never thought you'd be an issue
and i put every bit of my trust in her
now i have a hard time trusting anyone
forget you, i wanna be alone
i hate you, thought you were my bro

spotify

i love you

produced by heylog
guitar by ashen

lyrics:
my minds
dizzy and my head is way too light 
middle of nowhere just i
now i wish u could be here
the plan is to go disappear

no i
wanna leave so bad i sigh
and i'm sick of everything i cry
and i don't if i should be scared
just let me know if you'll be here
cause i'm too used to people leaving
why is it never good timing
and i'm sick apologizing 
when ur the one who should b sorry
i'm sick
i'll pass it over with one kiss
now we're both sharing our dna
too soon for home yea i'll be there late
still see grey

i'm sick
i'll pass it over with one kiss
now we're both sharing our eye's
what is it like sharing lives?
tonight i plan to make u mine
hearts so lost, thinking u could change that
i been through a lot and i lost a couple friend's 
but if i'm being honest i could care less
i don't wanna go through hell again
i need nothing, from u or anyone
i see something in her, i felt like i have won
(won)
translate my words into love
a better me, better evolve
no i
wanna leave so bad i sigh
and i'm sick of everything i cry
and i don't if i should be scared
just let me know if you'll be here
‎ 
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‎ 
‎ 
‎ 


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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 
‎ ‎ ‎ 
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‎ ‎ 
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made this with strep throat yuh

evolve

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i wait patient for karma
butterflies and larva
pain in my sternum
poking me in my heart oh
floating i've risen
fall apart, rebuild it
emptiness, refill it
but i'm out of liquid
i made it far
low on juice, recharge
going through some photos, i feel pain in my heart
(god)
love me or not, do something
don't tease or play w my feelings
wait here in the cold
anger, unfold

you
oh
you
oh
you
oh
oh
you
baby hold me
enough is not enough
i need something
when i fall out of love

listen here u need to know
come closer, this is unknown
our love is what i'd die for
i don't bluff so let's explore
(ok)
i love u and no one else
i left u so i'll take the guilt
please don't move and just sit still
don't let go it's me i'll kill

can't stop coughing
bruising my chest
i make mistakes, keep losing my head
avoiding talk, don't wanna see friends
afraid of toxics i can feel it
you said u was my boy
but i hear the fake in your voice
(so fake)
"WHY DO I NEVER HEAR FROM YOU OR SEE YOU
WHY DO I NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO"
I DON'T FEEL LIKE CONVERSATING
I BOTTLE UP, GIVE IT TIME TILL I BREAK IT
DROWNING AND DROWNING MY SENSE
HOW AM I BLESSED WHEN YOU SAW WHAT I DID
LET OUT MY EMOTION UPSTAIRS IN MY CRIB
PROCRASTINATING AGAIN AND AGAIN

went for something different.
made this with the intention to expand my creativity as an artist
and the hopes to understand myself more as a person.
hope you enjoy :')
prod. @branwenmusic & @rvrhiv 🖤
cover art done by @akanenosketch

~~lyrics~~
(i got these daggers in my spine)
(they come right at me from the skies)
(just tell me why, why)

knowing that you’re safe
could you save me from this bad dream
know it’s kinda late
girl i’m sorry that i’m asking
glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat  
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within
until i meet an end
do you understand?

go into a rage 
when i see you in my sight
everyone the same 
and i always wonder why
tell me what it takes
just for you to stay mine

swear i’m fucking sick
everyone’s a prick 
running fucking swift
don’t ever stop, won’t ever quit
eh i was a mistake
in this world; why do i stay?
no, seriously.
THIS SHIT SUCKS!!!

hush…

glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat 
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within

i’m rotting from within!
i should probably go
there's blood under the snow 
infinity below
i hear the echoes of bellows

aren’t you just happy for me
i wanna be someone else
stuck inside a catacomb
it’s like my own personal hell 
just give me the signal 
and i’ll try to book it outta here
it’s not that i’m terrified
this is just how i look my dear 

i got these daggers in my spine
they started raining from the sky
i didn’t make it home in time
within your arms is where i lie

i rot, everything’s stupid 
i want you, but i’m useless
time’s not real, we are lucid 
i’m just, gonna lose it all


glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat 
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within
until i meet an end 
do you understand?…

infinity below [prod. branwen x rvrhiv]

<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

prod. @deademane

(heylog)
between the glass
is filled with poison
i feel like trash
apply the ointment
just stay back
he needs some time alone
cus through the cracks
is the widows home
don't come inside here
i would bounce
we're not alive here
don't stick around
when ur minds clear
come in the house
cus i'm not safe here
so get me out

don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

(casperrr)
oh she
she is lying thru her teeth
i swear that she wants to kill me
lay with my lifeless body
while staring at the ceiling
her actions are deceiving
she cuts herself she's bleeding
the blood is running and she really
fucking loves to see it

welcome to the widows home
there's cracks and holes in every wall
the emptyness fills all those holes
this place really tourments my soul
but you can't leave neither can i
i'll go into a room and cry
i'll try to just make up my mind
cut my hair lock myself inside

there's nowhere to go to now
there's no1 to save you now

(heylog + casperrr)
don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

casperrr x heylog - there's nothing left here (deademane)

produced by xona, ruevi, & oc

big thank you to all individuals who helped make this song possible <3

@ruevi @prod-oc
@heylog
@hiraethsry
@sleepywater
@sinxi
@caspywaspy
@vilsynth
@valerii
@deadfishh

the lyrics were over 4000 characters and that's the limit for soundcloud ♥

-lyrics-
https://genius.com/Xona-avoid-ii-lyrics

xona

avoid II w/ ruevi, heylog, hiraeth, sleepwater, sinxi, casperrr, vil, valerii & deadfish

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater and leftquiet

lyrics:
ive been to heaven hell and she wanted it
she wanna ham my neck till im on it
switching positions i feel like im in night time
i don't feel the sun no more i dont like sunshine
quicker my heart declines
more that i find myself
shut my windows and blinds
more that i hate myself
i dislike everything
but dislike you the most
my lifes full of sin
cos i dont know where to go

stood outside im seeing flies
im outside you know my time
wait for this im on a climb
fuck my psyche its pain until i die
gaining more likes am i doing something right
its gone up in spikes have i gone up in my life
maybe you should listen to me once in a while
surely you would be different if you werent in denial
EVERY THOUGHT SHES EVER HAD STARTS TO FUCKING PILE
OH I WISH I NEVER HAD SHES FUCKING VILE
depression getting really bad you can crack a smile
you can barely leave your bed stop acting like a child
how did you get rid of your sweat did you run it off
do something w ur life and make it worthwile

heylog:
she's so psychotic, i knew when i saw
speaking so toxic ur just like ur mom
everything i do she gets really pissed
so why does it feel like it's always my fault
god ur chaotic, quit starting a fight
i ain't one to argue, it's a waste of time
she purposely trying to spark up a flame
and now all of this is getting out of line
oh baby
ur so cold
ur making this easy
give more
oh baby
we're off course
she said she want more she said she want more
innocence
don't exist
she'll find ways to get your head
she's offended again
exaggerate things i say
oh my dear
you're in fear
block it out with a few beers
everyone she's ever cursed is in a pile
everyone she's ever hurt calls her vile
and everyone she's done the worst gets away
am i the only one who's learned from her pain
now the whole place burnt down
and i can see it in her eyes she's happy
i hope you know u look like a clown
cus only you would act a little trashy

𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨

pile w/heylog

produced by heylog

lyrics:
when i burn in fire
you gave a hand
i'll try not to let go
she understands
nothing is more beautiful
than your demand
i thank u for being
so delicate

i'll decide ur demeanor to me
no ambition it was never easy
on the highway he finally came clean
how the hell could you do that to me
i thought u were my bestfriend
cus i know that they don't cut ur back
text and i won't answer, get on read
don't play w my emotions i'm so delicate
so delicate

when i burn in fire 
u gave a hand
but i might just let go
and she understands
nothing is more beautiful
than your demand
i hope i treated you
better than him

walking outside notice autumnal leaves
yellow and red and a few orangish trees
the air is fresh when i'm jogging thru this subdivision
my legs hurt.. take breath heavily
run by three deer on my right
they look at me like i'm threatening their life
the parents are guarding their fawn
sometimes i wish family could be us

autumn

produced by heylog

lyrics:
I COULD DISINTEGRATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES
AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHETHER IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE
NOW THEIR EYES WIDEN LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF SURPRISE
I WAS JUST TESTIN TO SEE IF IT CROSSED YOUR MIND

in the eventide it's cold 
as i'm right beside the woods
every bug is now buzzing
in a forest, in a bush
it's that time to hibernate
animals retreat from the north
toward the south to migrate
winter streets get quickly worn
DESCEND INTO YOUR SOUL
BLOOD DRAWING FROM MY SKULL
WOULD YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
YOU REAP WITH WHAT YOU SOW
examining your mind
hope to intertwine
oh everything aligns
beside you feeding me with lies

pokin thru the light and lost all them
being used as your personal vent
if u keep it up i might just dip
cus the words u say leave me in dents
i set my expectations way too high
it kinda sucks but i'll let this one slide
i gotta regroup and resupply
quit tryna fool me i see right through ur eyes

I COULD DISINTEGRATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES
AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHETHER IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE
NOW THEIR EYES WIDEN LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF SURPRISE
I WAS JUST TESTIN TO SEE IF IT CROSSED YOUR MIND
BUT IT DIDN'T 
I SEE YOU'RE TRYNA PRY YOUR WAY INTO MY BUSINESS
YOU'LL NEVER GET IN
EVERY YEAR THE CIRCLE SHRINKS AND IT THICKENS
IT ALWAYS THICKENS

pause

she wonders why i always hangout in the dark
idk bruh just chilling playing guitar
oh it was all my fault
didn't know committing to a girl would be hard
so i should really focus on my bread
there's never a balance, music till i go to bed
baby i'm far too gone
bags under my eyes i didn't sleep until dawn

you'll never get it

disintegrate

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i hate to say i forced myself thinking that you were sweet
but ur a monster, didn't know that you were a freak
lock me out from you and throw away the keys
i won't let you get any closer to me
put my hand on her leg and feel the ridges and scars
i feel afraid you might bury my body under tarp
so dig a grave for 2 people and make sure it is large
you're coming with, i won't die alone or we could restart

i'm not gonna bother you anymore
pulling my collar, pulling out thorns
it was an honor climbing aboard
somebody watch her out on the floor
i'm not gonna bother you ever again
pulling my collar right back where it is
i tried my hardest to help you get fixed
wasn't for long until you relapsed

say does your father know you been out
if i was him you'd have curfew, no doubt
i just want you safe getting back to the house
cause nowadays it's brutal all around
don't hold on 
to my hand
just let go now
find a man
don't look back
not a glance
as i'm crushed by
an avalanche
don't know why you'd say that
you're gonna get pay back
looking at a photo could you possibly get phased at
drinking at a club
i thought you were done
she said, "i stayed away"
but bro it's been a month
i don't wanna hate
i just never drink
you could say i'm boring all you want but i'm not phased
i don't make excuses
i simply do not do it
don't wanna see my life fall into a ruin

i'm not gonna bother you anymore
pulling my collar, pulling out thorns
it was an honor climbing aboard
somebody watch her out on the floor
i'm not gonna bother you ever again
pulling my collar right back where it is
i tried my hardest to help you get fixed
wasn't for long until you relapsed

repeat

@heylog @oc 

// geist
say you’ll change
words are worthless
baby you’re a fake
and i’m not for it
snakes stay in the lake
so go join them
don’t talk to me
i’m not your friend
darling

can’t stand to hate myself
need to fix my health
so i put the bottle down
and hit the gym instead
you gave it all for wealth
how do you face yourself?
you’re so caught up in your media
it’s so unwell

i don’t want to see your face
i swear show up and you will die.
put that bitch back in her place
can’t tell her ego from her pride
love to talk about your problems
but your life is such a lie
you’re not fooling anybody
swear to god i meant goodbye

// heylog
i was not afraid to tell her that she was being delusional
cause all her little friends just encourage her to be a hoe
well it's not hard to find someone who isn't modest
and with that i feel my brain slowly rotting
don't know why you gotta constantly talk over me
i used to let that go, now i say shut up when i speak
it's like you never have respect for anything i say
you try to lead me on, i can't be weak
i can't be weak

weak w/ heylog [oc]

Prod ERXN & heylog

every photo, im not recognised
its always black and white, with some grain inside
you would think that i was tryna hide
im really not i just hate what i see

you wouldnt like it no doubt
ill force my hand over your mouth
youre half the size of me now
bruise on your knees start to sprout

look to my left, im in a forest where im tryna find 
a piece of you that just keeps falling down beside my side
i ran right through the forest path we did a thousand times
im scared that I wont make it back I might of lost my mind 
might of broke down for a minute but its cool 
image distorted in my vision when you call 
i know its just anxiety but if its more 

ima need a Prozac for this 
if you never loved me that's shit 
keep me out of line like im wearing high viz 
keep me outside like im never not in 
if you need me il die il tell you im in 
see me outside come around real quick 
baby I know the way to try and get your hate out 
click it back and put it to my face now

man i wish that she was close
hanging out, youre on the phone
think that i just found a home
hopefully we'll always grow
11 days until i board my flight
i just gotta know if youre worth my time
moving on to better things
she found me, shes in love w me
she always wants to say my name
yeah all she does is say my name
and i love her honesty
you really put my mind at ease
she wants to call me everyday
just so she can say my name

Spotify

BRUISE w/ hiraeth & heylog

take my hand (feat. SINH)

featuring @sewerperson
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
killing all the memories cant get them out my head
do u think you'll remember me what a great way to end
now she's giving me goosebumps, up and down my skin
i don't wanna hurt u, but we were getting tense
i despise u cus i really tried my best
but was there something wrong with anything i did
this fire burns
it's burning out my chest
my hairs developing curls
she run it with her nails

i left her a note but i kept it secret in my head
guess you'll never know what i had wrote or what i said
let me clear the air i don't consider you a friend
oh how we were toxic it was to our benefit
if u truly love her go and say it to her face
but he never will he only spoke it thru the pain
his scars present a symbol she will carry with attain
and she looks at him with disgust and hatred and with vain
she let him slip by but who's the one that holds the blame
she dont care cus she got guys who provide all the needs she craves
cus he could never satisfy her so he solved it on a blade
she acted like she cared but it was nothing but a fake

i don't know how to act right i guess
and u should prolly leave don't want a witness
calling down to the 2 friends i have
but they ain't never here i crave ur love bad
so i don't know how to act right i guess
and u should prolly leave don't want a witness
calling down to the 2 friends i have
but they ain't never here i crave ur love bad
SO I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT RIGHT I GUESS
AND SHE'S MINDLESS TALKING BACK WITH HER EX
BUT HE NEVER LOVED HER, ONLY LOVED THE SEX
I GIVE UP I'M SO DONE WITH THIS

(sewerperson)
thru the wind i smell the blood
it tastes to me like broken heart
i know i feel though my body cold
and hungry reaching out for more
peaceful i could sleep peaceful finally
breaks in the trees in my bed pines needle my heart
im still deep in the rows all despite the fresh start and its killing me
im just not myself for the time being
promise u baby i’ve changed i swear
bodies in the garden behind my stairs
i just woke up with em laying right there
crush crush crush all these bugs in my hair
guess i came back from the dead for a moment
i cannot speak with my mouth sewn shut
broke open
welcome to the end you’ve chosen

kill all the memories can’t get them out my head
do u think you’ll remember me what a great way to end
even if I was what they said 
would you still love me then

i love you

heylog

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