something a lil sleep token/ brakencey/ sinxi/ deadfishy inspired
obviously


i hear a little whisper between silence on the phone
you say you really miss me, god i hope you really dont
the feelings shattered across somewhere, between the ash and gold
i feel a bit uncomfortable, pretend i really dont

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

i hear a little breath between the distance of our call
maybe im just paranoid, can tell youre getting bored
ive been consumed by everything, the feelings getting cold
a half drunk glass of tea on the windowsil of our home

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction


im sure youve heard this song before in every genre
always ranting about something and nobodys bothered
i could try be clever write a double entendre
just for you to listen and not read the lyrics
or maybe i’ll produce something spend ages working on it

-------------just to be compared to every artist that you know ----------------             
                     ===================================
or maybe it’s your fault for listening to everyone and nobody at all
i guess i could be wrong
i guess ill never know
everything’s generic so im reaping what they sow

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

radio silence, now nothing is active
ill hold my misfortune and judge all your actions
i find you unworthy of every practise
and sentence a life without no interaction

i hear a little breath between the distance of our call
maybe im just paranoid, can tell youre getting bored
ive been consumed by everything, the feelings getting cold
a half drunk glass of tea on the windowsil of our home

radio silence

prod by icantsleeplol & hvci
mixed and mastered by icantsleeplol & hvci

thank u @hvci for helping me with some of the layers to help my vocals more impactful ♡ 

and ofc w/ @xav0id

(i’m experimenting with my vocals and my voice in general to see what it’s capable of. i don’t wanna be limited to one genre. i wanna push past my comfort zone and explore different sounds with my voice)

enjoy:)

lyrics:

@icantsleeplol -
they asked me to smile
so i did
now i can’t tell when i actually mean it

i learned to read the room too well
picked up their moods, and forgot myself
said the lines they’d rather hear
kept my truth in second gear

they liked me better watered down
so i kept my head and voice low-bound
never asked them what they meant
just played the part and paid the rent

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
they never wanted all of me
just the version they could keep clean
so i edited my every thought
to fit inside the mold they bought

@icantsleeplol -
empty tent, the lights still burn
but no one waits for my return
they loved the laugh, not the cost
they clapped so loud, i got lost

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci -
empty tent, applause fades quick
left alone with what won't fix
i give and give, then disappear
while no one even shifts their ear

@icantsleeplol -
i swallowed pride and played polite
convinced myself it felt alright
but every nod, every demand
left another thing i couldn't stand

i tried to slow the spinning down
but silence just became more loud
i gave too much and asked too little
and broke apart right down the middle

@icantsleeplol w/ @hvci
they smiled, so i assumed it worked
but underneath, it always hurt
and though i tried to keep it smooth
the pressure cracked the parts i moved
 
@xav0id -
empty tent, still looks the same
but i don’t walk out how i came
they called it charm, called it grace
but missed the tremble in my face

empty tent, the echo's mean
i’m still stuck on what they’ve seen
if this was love, or just a guess
why did i fall apart to impress?

@icantsleeplol w/ @xav0id
i’ve memorized what pleases them
but not what brings me back again
i dance around their fragile moods
and call it kindness as i lose

they say i’m calm, they say i’m nice
but only when i pay the price
and every time i try to breathe
i wonder what they’d let me keep

@xav0id - 
empty tent, lights flicker slow
no one left to tell me “go”
but i still bow, still play it cool
still scared of not fitting the rule

empty tent, just me and air
i gave too much, and no one cared
the quiet hits a little late...
but louder than the love they faked

i’m still here
they just forgot
and that’s the part
that hurts the most

empty tent w/ xav0id & hvci

prod ilyl1ght

lyrics:
Oh haven't seen your face
And the sky is turning grey
sucks you dont think about me daily 
It must be nice to think your not going crazy 
staying home all day don’t wanna go out anymore 
sleeping in all day have fun being a whore 
I wonder what is like having people that care
I wonder what it’s like having somebody there
I wish that I was no longer here
Now the plan is just to go disappear

Oh haven't seen your face
And the sky is turning grey
sucks you dont think about me daily 
It must be nice to think your not going crazy 
Oh haven't seen your face
And the sky is turning grey
want you to go but I want you to stay here because I’m in love
You should probably go cause I’m building up anger that’s not good for us
Why is everybody pointing out on my flaws?
sucks to think that we’re all human but you don’t give a fuck
sucks to think that we’re all human but you don’t give a

sorry

i might be over it

her patterns are much prettier than mine
evolves down her hair to her spine
but ive been waiting all this time
how could i compare it to any of mine

is it safe love
you dont lie?
cause i cant help but not feel your type
and youre waiting, but i dont mind
if im honestly not what you like

so call me
call me back home
im poorly 
poorly and cold
so tell me 
tell me im enough
hate me
hate me all you want

i hate to remember 
its haunting me now
im used like a puppet youre dragging me round
im viewed like a peasant, im serving you well
but what is my purpose i really cant tell

i changed, is that enough for you ?
and ill wait, contort my body to be
whatever you want
whatever you want
whatever you want
whatever you want

i cant make this worth your time
run right past me i wont mind 
far behind everyone in life
cut my skin, reveal my spite
tore my biceps, fuel my eyes
still cant see past all ive tried
now its nearly the end, but ive hardly begin
my finish line is closer
youve got further to run

patterns

always involved
theres no room for you here
vultures wrap round me
my deaths imminent
but what should i fear

everyones leaving but they know my place
and i 
hope they come back to me to tell me bout their day
and how all this times passed and nothing much has changed
oh let it resume, ignorance in your face

honestly, yeah honestly its honestly pathetic
so count me out of everything my life line wont mend it
if this is how its meant to be, im sure that god planned it
by taking every part of me and leaving me stranded
with no one
now theres no one
fall apart and
pick myself up
its not the same
molded to change
eyes laying heavy tried keeping yours safe

see you in my dreams
holding close to me
this the closest the closest well ever be
dont take that away
god dont do it please
saw him yesterday
all the same to me

IF THATS ALL ILL GET
ILL NEVER COMPLAIN
IF HE SAW ME NOW
WOULD HE FEEL THE SAME ?
THOUGH ILL NEVER KNOW
KINDA LIKE IT THAT WAY
SOMETIMES FEEL AS THOUGH 
HE WOULD BE ASHAMED

vultures

produced by @prod-dash
thank you for being here.
be as well as you can be
x

sat in the frozen
tundra of olden
letting it go, but
it want me stolen
fevered yet cold
don't see me walk in
somehow they saw me through the door

it ain't that funny
how's it the people i once put above
amass into nothing
so wrong, to think they could help
subconsciously knew they ain't know me that well
to compel every notion that i've ever felt
enough to be something

thirty minutes is the best i can do
now i'm back with a dome full of hate
can't wait on a sky that'll pass up the day
gotta make this borderless brain unrestrained
i don't sound the same; know if i could i would
put out a piece that could wipe out the rain
shambled in vain
this ain't a life for the vivid
guised in a coat, low is gold for the wicked
i get exposed and the core creates distance
the water is calm, you just gotta listen
gouging the doubt with a sleight word of mouth
from the kid who was taught to bestow this forgiveness

but i'm hittin licks, just a young hypocrite
false bliss to the lip;
ain't trip, won't fold
i'm in my room with the gloom i consume
with a tune that restore all of which that i know

i ain't felt trust like i do,
the ghost of her presence can soothe
forced into wrath, yet was taken aback
apparitions that witness the horror in view
crude to the vision, although to begin with
a soul wouldn't visit this misaligned tomb

won't sleep a wink
'cause the potion i breathe's
about all that i need to replace with a snooze

unamusing that the news is
always brewing something stupid
i rebuke this, got me puking
lacking prudence where the truth is

i couldn't be your anything
i couldn't be your anything
my temper, enamored
and plastered, in glamour
dismembered and shattered
he's scattered in laughter
the after won't seem to take him,
this plothole's been forsakened,
left stagnant and stuck waiting
burnt charcoals for the basin

bites
getting bit up in the night
anomalies pleading "arise"
indifferent to those who recline, i
know we coulda been so good
now i'm kneeling deep into soot
sight aligned where she had stood
idealism misunderstood

rainbreaker (dash)

produced by me (dawsin)
written by me (dawsin)
everything by me (dawsin) :o

lyrics:
just a figment
of my
imagination
of me

RID OF ME
RID OF ME
MY OTHER PERSONALITY
HE'S NOT A FRIEND TO ME
HATE MYSELF
FAMILY STILL SCARED OF ME
.45 TO MY TEMPLE
I'M READY TO GET
RID OF ME

don't want no one
but I left these flowers 
here for you
baebaebaebae
babe it's true
baebaebaebae
that I wanna blow my head out
so I feel like a drop out
(in life)
so you'll walk in my room and ask me why I did this
ain't been the same, since I regained my pulse

let me leave
let me leave
let me leave 
this horrible dream

I might've said that "I was fine"
but-
ahaa
it's quite the opposite
i-
I don't even know how to feel anymore

remember the first time I said "hey"?
well this the last time I say "bye"
you're so fake
anxiety got me covering my arms in stripes
(our journey together, ends here.)

I'm disappointed in my self
cause 
I still have the ring on
I still haven't taken it off
AND I BET YOU THINK THATS IT'S PITIFUL
BUT I MISS YOUR EARFULS
I MISS WHEN WE TALKED ALOT
AND NOW ITS ALL GONE-

bipolarity

im bad for you
my love, am i bad for you?
id die, if you asked me to
without ever being mad at you
id kill for us
my love, am i bad for us ?
held down, i could pull you up
paranoid that im not enough

take what you want and leave me by the road
im always involved but im always alone
pull me from hell, pull me outta my hole
im taking it back, this delusion i stole
my familys big but nobody is home
this music means nothing cause nobody knows
theyd only downplay it and rip it to bones
i thought youd be proud of me, how would i know ?
held by my feelings and losing my hope
all that i wanted, destroyed all i know 
it feels like im chasing but being left behind
imposing this talent, its nothing of mine

texture of your skins so lovely
its nothing as rough as mine
if i cant be enough on the surface
how could i be all you like ?
i cant make decisions, dont worry
im on the fence this time
gods holding his hand out just for me
and blinded both my eyes

imposter

prod by stezzyxl
w/ hvci
w/ xav0id

enjoy

lyrics:
every step i take
every song i made
was never close enough to heal the stains around my name
every lie i made
with every smile i faked
was never close enough to heal the wounds inside my veins

i open up, but they just always shut the door
i never speak to anyone like anymore
i lost my friends, and then my heart along the floor
i sweared to myself not to end up like before

3 am in the morning
i can barely sleep tonight
my body is giving me warnings
day by day, my chest is tight
i’ve been though it
i’ll be fine
swear to god i’ll be alright
ive been though it
i’m alright
swear to god ill be all fine

the air so thick
it grabs my throat
and i cannot breathe
something don’t click
brushing off my shoulders
i’ve been here, i do admit
looking at my options
have no choice, but too destroy
melancholy love
melancholy love
i try to avoid

(xavoid - )
quiet glass
worn thin
city hum
low and dim
lines shift under low light
hours fold into night
cold rain on empty streets
shapes dissolve where walls meet
breath slows in vacant air
holding onto something rare

names drift past like quiet streams
tracing edges of my dreams
your voice lingers in the hush
like the last page of a rush
windows hold a silver stain
footsteps fade but leave the pain
each moment bends into a line
folded under time’s design

(hvci - )
i like your style
but it’s a crooked mile
tears stitch awhile
beneath the exile
i like your style
but it’s a crooked mile
tears stitch awhile
beneath the exile

patterns

hiraeth

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