hiraeth

I have more than enough

top 2

<//3

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater
lyrics:

i don't think that i feel it
my stomach can't heal it
my heart i warn you
surround me i turn blue
you doubt me you flew
you drowning in sloot
my heart break in 2
im ready to die
cos i left ur side
i kick back and cry
this where i resite
i laugh at myself
its good for my health (oh no)
whats that on my the shelf (oh no)
i think its yourself (oh no)

ash blonde hair i need you now
carve my life thru the fields im a tree in the ground
i can't feel my fucking heart so why does it go pound pound pound
i sense you wanna dart, so why
 dont u wannaa stay, now

i can sense the fear ik our loves linear now
feeling like a tree thats never gonna grow; help
beat me black and blue with all the words you spew pal
you could save him now but i don't think he wants you now

heylog:

your pretty little words are meshed and i don't feel them
i'm to the point where i just lost every feeling
i still wouldn't feel a thing if i had a million friends
i'm getting closer everyday to ending it
the sun falls and creeps through my window
it's blinding me, now orange is painted on my walls
the same colour i saw when i fell in love
when i see it again i just can't get enough
can someone end my life, i don't wanna be here at all..
i'm past the part where i care at all
that's when i know shits getting bad
and i wonder how long this'll last

tree w/heylog

lyrics:


Gimme the quick revive cause my hearts done
When love is the focal point u bun the outcome
Im surprised to see at this function
Cause last time we were close u left my soul numb

To be honest
She lied for five months for the profit
I was lost for a while but now im on it
How are u I only ask to be the bigger man
What is life if we only live to live again
In ur head im sure ur only seeing static
How u treated me was lessons bout neglecting
So my partner knows I dont need to be managed
How u treated me left wounds more than a bandage could solve

I heal these wounds with plenty of alcohol
And now im sure I wouldn’t miss u at all on me
Until I think about the nights u were all on me
Oh my god
Alone at 3am in my bed I just miss you
The ghost of u can hit hard
If it weren’t for these drugs Id be gone
I hate that This drink give me courage to push on

Red leaves Fall fast
Us two Won’t last
Friction and Kickback
Good things Will Turn bad
No one had checked on me at my lowest point
So I developed on my own that’s why im to the point yea
Bedbug bites were on my thighs and back oh its bad
Plus people tried to put a price right on top my head

To be honest
She lied for five months for the profit
I was lost for a while but now im on it
How are u I only ask to be the bigger man
What is life if we only live to live again
In ur head im sure ur only seeing static
How u treated me was lessons bout neglecting
So my partner knows I dont need to be managed
How u treated me left wounds more than a bandage could solve

tbh (eric godlow)

MY HEART MATCHES THE CONCRETE

produced by chalyre <3 

lyrics:
you make me
incomplete
no escaping
your cold reach

now my throat is sore
from saying your name
i'm not going to go
until you repay
the debt that you owe
its always the same 
for love

let go
of your hold

you say you love me
i would just die
i'll never be worthy
of your divine

you're killing me slowly
but i'll be fine

it's not like i'm better
from seeing the light

careworn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISMFvsAGj38

its not you its you nd me
hidden in the leaves
look at where we are theres not much that you cant see
tell me where to start i don't mean to intervene
im just what you need and not rhetorically
moving accordingly and stacking this bank roll
oh watch me dangle and walk on this cable
join in the light show its better w eyes closed
roll back in my dome and ask how my night go
say its alright tho i knows its concerning
hope that im learning won't end up deserted
properly furnished end up in a nice home
been through them nights long enough we don't like those

its not you, its you and me (isolated) [video in description]

Lyrics

Doc said these will make you better
I don't think I'm getting better
Fuck these pills, my fucking head hurts
I wake up with fucking shivers

Have thoughts bout pulling triggers
I can't get them out my mental
I've got problems that are mental
I don't feel love, not even a little

Wake up, I'm fucking over it
Need to let it out but I keep fucking holding it
Wanna scream and shout into this mic I'm holding
It'll hear me out better than any other person

Don't know how I got here, I don't think that I deserve it
God ain't really out here tryna show me what's my purpose
Sittin' at this screen, still tryna find out if it's worth it
Know that nobody is but still wish I was perfect

I told the doc that I was depressed, he told me back that I was anxious
He pulled a bottle out his vest and he told me that I should take this
I took 'em for a couple months but I was numbed out
I rather feel everything than feel like that my heart out

You wern't there for me, I would do anything for you
You ain't talk to me, I would never just ignore you
I just needed you, you made me feel like I bore you
They won't find a body when the police looking for you

Doc said these will make you better
I don't think I'm getting better
Fuck these pills, my fucking head hurts
I wake up with fucking shivers

Have thoughts bout pulling triggers
I can't get them out my mental
I've got problems that are mental
I don't feel love, not even a little

spotify.

shiver. | Produced by septfree

should have 
should have been my body
should have 
should have been my body

ill never get another chance now
and i dont want it, i just want you back now
i cannot deal with all these faces looking at me
i really think it should have been my body

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

i really thought i tried my best
im putting all my scent across your messsages
just to ruin it again
youre my love and all my medicine

whats stopping me
nobody can stop me now
what is happening 
words barely leaving my mouth
but im lost again
gaps of air barely creep out
im asleep again
i dont mean to let you down

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

should have
should have been my body...

body

i dont really like where youre pulling me now
i thought id do better, but youre barely proud
i dont really like that youre not calming me down
ive got nowhere to run now
nowhere to go now

you thought its best for me
but i dont need anything but you now
i did whats best for me 
and honestly i need you right here in my house
cant let this run on much further
further ill fall down
dont know how much i can cope fore' i hit you and fall back down

on the pavement 
on the pavement

pavement

the winds so much colder this year
and my body heat
my body heats reserved by yours
i cant find no substance like it
no tea or coffee ever clones it
my anxietys so bad
play with my fingers look away when you glance
i try to look bothered 
you dont understand
come off so awkward and less of a man

she owns like everything that i wear
and i keep getting thoughts as if we never left
cause its 0 degrees in both places
so its like nothing even changed but i cant see your face yet

my body cant cope without holding yours i cant face it
even just the little things like smelling on your fragrance
i can barely form a sentence, and i dont talk much
youve got a grip around me, i feel i dont need to hold on

only source of motivation, i dont need to practise
tell me now to break my spine oh love ive already cracked it
cause its 0 degrees, in both places
nothing even changed but love i cannot hold your face yet

say that youre forgetting it 
but how could you just lie to me 
you knew id do anything youd ask of me 
just try and see 
holding your resentment toward me 
isn’t it so tiring
keeping all these thoughts locked inside until I’m spiralling

Out of control 
all on my own 
I’ll take you on 
can’t hide from the truth 
when you know what you’ve (lyre) done

Standing my GROUND
I see them NOW 
All the voices they start to scream OUT

No more of your LIES 
cold look in your EYES
your zero degrees 
know the frost when it bites

degrees ft. chalyre

:) 


Looking half a mile away to see you face the wall
everytime u look at me my feelings burn 
all the things u wanted and I failed them all
Everytime u Talk to me my stomach burns

Don’t notice me
Don’t notice 
Don’t no

Don’t notice me
Don’t notice 
Don’t no

Blood creeping out my window to my yard
All this involvement don’t know who u are 
All this water leaves, falls down where u are 
I don’t seem restless just going too far 
I’ve got no fuel left, you’ve drained all that I have 
Oh I’m anxious as shit, u should look at my arm
Cause I’ve torn it to pieces 
No pieces left
Just a pot that you piss in, now torn to shreds 

this feeling eats me alive guess i messed up my life
i try just to hide that way cant be right
well im just tired, everything is tiring
i stay up all night next day i sleep all the time
dont know what to say so i better stay silent
in my head im with you in fields full of violets

Walk myself to the pier this is life for me 
Pull myself up the wall u can’t carry me 
All this water gets colder crashes into me 
These feelings that I get I must have to leave

pier ft. melon

Black tar around my body weight
Dark circles round ur eyes 
U would think that we where made this way
But
It disappeared when u where mine 
No way u could get over this
There’s no way I could survive 
I’ll pretend that I got over it 
But 
my heart is still so full of spite 

It’s so late 
And it’s so dark out 
Are you home yet ? 
It’s not safe out now
Are you home yet ? 
Can you not let me know?
Did you find somebody else who’s gonna fill my role 

You should lay here beneath me
In a forest, near the wood
And try to imagine 
All the things that we could 
Should

Black tar around my body weight
Dark circles round ur eyes 
U would think that we where made this way
But
It disappeared when u where mine 
No way u could get over this
There’s no way I could survive 
I’ll pretend that I got over it 
But 
my heart is still so full of spite

one listen, before you sleep

Produced by https://soundcloud.com/killedmyself
mixed/mastered by https://soundcloud.com/demxntia
Lyrics:
I feel washed up again on the shore...
Said I wouldn't stray closer to the water
But you keep pushin' me further in
Baby I've never really felt this sure
But it feels I'll wait for you forever
If I hold on it'll hurt even more

I'm standing on my own but is it ok if I hold my chances?
Tell me what's temporary and what stays permanent.
Temporary, permanent we keep on shifting surfaces
So who you tryna fool right now?
If you're not stayin' just leave right now
Can't feel you now, Losing my grip now I'm fading out
Couldn't hear my voice even if I shout
Tell me what's next for us baby
You hear it in my voice, Can you erase me?

I feel washed up again on the shore...
Said I wouldn't stray closer to the water
But you keep pushin' me further in
Baby I've never really felt this sure
But it feels I'll wait for you forever
If I hold on it'll hurt even more

Baby I've been overthinking
See the blood from the thorns on the roses
If I tried could I let you go now
But the memory of you stays permanent...

What Stays Permanent (prod. killedmyself)

Produced by tundrabeats

Lyrics

I thought I moved on, thought I forgave
But the shit that you done still stuck in my way
Tried to ignore and I tried to escape
But I still think about your touch everyday

Still think about what I could of changed
You were the reason my soul got saved
I try to find love but I retreat to the fact
That I know no one else is the same

Maybe that's good that you're one of kind
But I swear on my life you won't get out my mind
I thought I let you out but when I walked away
You were standing on the other side

And I can't lie, if you came back
With all of the knives in mine
I'd still have yours, because I never lied
That you were the love I was dying to find

Will I ever move on?
I can't get you out my head
I think a screws gone
Luna you're my last light

Look what you've done
I know something's not right
Looking for a new one
Chasing at my last high

Fuck it, I'm stressed again
I don't who you been messing with
I thought that you were my medicine
But it don't seem like you heaven sent

But for your love I'm hellbent
I'm so selfish, I want you all to myself
But it don't seem if that's it
So I think I'ma just take you to my little hell

I think my mind gone bad, I'm so sad
You think you leaving me? Not so fast
"Yo shit man, why so rash?"
I guess we all want the shit we ain't have

This ain't aesthetic, it's fucking pathetic
You think it's a trend, you gone fucking regret it
I can burn all of you down to the filter
I say the words of a mouth with no filter

Will I ever move on?
I can't get you out my head
I think a screws gone
Luna you're my last light

Look what you've done
I know something's not right
Looking for a new one
Chasing at my last high (x2)

spotify

pathetic aesthetic

prod. @l1lbiscuit x @gualabeatz

lyrics
--------
hey you
why you mad at me?
i've been falin' backwards runnin' barefoot through the leaves
i could bite my tongue until i really gotta leave
if the issue isn't settled why you settlin' for me?
hey you
whatchu wanna be?
i remember back when i was sleeping with no sheets
back when we were struggling off 89 a week
when the habits i possessed was partially possessing me
when the root of all my problems disappeared inside the green
and i was acting like i gave a fuck but no one fucked with me
when the busses to the 6 were all i had just to be free
i got a passport for that bitch but but now i travel overseas

yeah it's been a couple years but honestly it's all i see
when i close my eyes & reminisce this shit is just a dream
guess i really overcame a lot & now i've come to see
all the work i've put into it paying off by 23
thought i'd never live to tell but now i'm tellin how it be
when you overcome the obstacles & turn into a g
you could a. run for cover are you ready for the heat?
self destruct until i feel like anyone but me
you could be anything that you desire whatchu seek?
i've been plotting on this shit for years since i was seventeen
never felt like i could do it the depression come in sweeps
i put my headphones on & spit some shit until i fall asleep

back in 2017 i plotted out my death 
tied a noose inside my closet drew a target on my chest
if you think this shits a gimmick you can put it to the test
check my browser history for all the answers be my guest
googled "how to kill myself" but every option involved pain
every forum full of isolated kids that feel the same
saying they would end their lives in hopes of ridding all the shame
it's much easier to talk about when no one knows your name 
it's hilarious how motherfuckers profit off an act
you ain't ever put the blade against your skin and that's a fact
you're bewildered by the concept of a struggle so you cap
yeah my eyes are fixed upon you & i'm ready to attack
guess this is a wrap
fuck you & your homies all the shit you do is whack
this ain't no specific diss it's simply a smack
in the face of all these influencers actin like they sad