emo r

i hope you feel that back

prod: @jolst @afterlife66

i'm in a house made of cards
and it's falling
n i just break down 
seeing stars when i'm off it
don't say you'll come back
it's all the same 
i don't want it
cause i'll just bleed out
leaving stains on the carpet

don't bother calling
too busy balling
don't say you need those things you said you never wanted
i'm tryna be someone
i'm making moves, i'm gone
i had to go out to la so i could play that part
i hope you're doing better without me 
i hope you're telling your friends i was never making you happy
i hope you wake up sad
i hope you break down bad 
cause in the end you never cared,
i hope you feel that back

n you know just what to do 
move on to something new
i know you're good at that 
don't feel a thing i'm glad
cause for a minute i was thinking you would come right back

but you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent

house of cards (prod. jolst & afterlife)

prod @taurs and @jolst

I need to call her again and get my head straight,
scrape my face on pavement when she drag me cus im dead weight,
I can smoke a pound easy babe they call me sensei 
I dont post on gram, hate my face and thats on everything, everything 
x2

is this true love 
gonna throw up
if u repeat that phrase
those 3 words make me go numb 
need to get up
been laying here all month
and this weight it holds me down
but the weed help me get up 

and thats ur man, is it?
hes kinda handsome,
well compared to me ur a muhfuckin damsel
think I got 2 greedy follow bread like im Hansel 
I fuckin hate this place and ur friends I cant stand
i can’t stand em 
x2

I need to call her again and get my head straight,
scrape my face on pavement when she drag me cus im dead weight,
I can smoke a pound easy lil bitch they call me sensei 
I dont post on gram, hate my face and thats on everything, everything 
x2

dead weight (taurs x jolst)

amv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LT7FyConbo
thank you all for the amazing support just in general.
love you all. take care
featuring my extremely talented friend @sleepywater 💙
prod. @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~
[autumn]
you ok?..

so i tell myself
don't die on me
don't lie to me

i lie here, ask how i'm doing
words out my mouth 
is it trash that i'm spewing?
i deserve hell for every wrongdoing
you sewed up my heart
just after i skewed it

hate when anybody talk to me
there's not a lot to me
i'm just distraught and weak
there's so much to do in the day (day)
what do i have to do to make you stay (stay)

how does this world expect me to keep going
when all that i have are depleting emotions
and all that i am is pathetic and hopeless
and all that i ask, and all that i ask is to leave

i'm begging please
i'm falling down
whenever you leave
don't make a sound
don't even breathe
i finished counting all my steps
a cliff they lead

[sleepwater]
i'll be ready, drowning
heart beat too fast; anxiety
in my hollow frame
lost cause, puppet brain

spewing my heart 
over a fire; got dark
will you be my ember 
stuck in a cauldron
do you remember when i was holding
your achy arms i was all upon it
you got my clothes but 
you could of stopped it
sorry for the vacancy i wish i locked
it was a fucking job to you 
i wish i stopped it

[autumn]
lawless; aching doesn't stop
isn't this what i wanted from you
i'm so awful

[sleepwater]
don't make a sound, don't make a scene
filling my lungs with nicotine 
oh damn ur the one that i'll ever need
damn ur the one that just let me be

[autumn]
(let me be)
don't really know why you like me
are you just starving
for someone's pysche?
i can hear the hounds
yeah they're howling in the darkness
wonder what they found
either molly or a carcass

[sleepwater]
im prowling in the twilight
everything you say now its a delight
maybe ur an angel in disguise 
fucking up my psyche, cutting all my ties

[autumn]
i cannot talk for long
there's somewhere i gotta be
the green of the forest it calls
yeah i got a date with the-
i got a date with the trees

tell me who i am
and who i'm supposed to be
won't be here for long
bitemarks made with teeth
the frostwalker it crawls
arriving at your feet
let it rest beneath...

puppet brain w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

shoutout to everyone in this song ily all :) <3
prod. sorrow bringer (goat)
mix: epitome, kanashi, autumn, casperrr
master: epitome

EPITOME:

if you look into my blackened soul 
you’ll see i’ve begun to decompose 
and with nothing but a rope around my neck
i’ll hang in the gallows dead
hold back the tears you’ll shed
leave all the words unsaid
i was hanging on by a thread
it’s better off instead 
that i’m 6 feet deep beneath the surface
i’ve said this once i know i’m worthless
i fall short of being perfect 
can you show me that i’m worth it
am i worth saving?
my body’s decaying
my flesh is rotting 
i feel like a zombie
i think the ends approaching
i feel it upon me
now i know i’m not worth saving 
i’m trying but it doesn’t seem to be enough
no one gives a fuck
i don’t even know what i’ve become
(can you tell me what i’ve become i give in too easy oh the end has just begun)

KANASHI:

Ion even know what I’ve become 
shits got me so fucked up…
And pls don’t wake me 
I’m busy taking a break from life
Ion wanna be a part of this anymore 
One foot in and the other out the door 
Cuz nothing lasts forever 
So just toss me like a wrapper on the floor…

AUTUMN:

i can't tell tonight apart from all them in the past
i can speak, i can breathe, but my brain is gonna gache
if you feed off of me, hope you like consuming trash
waking up inside this bed 
is something i'd rather not have
i'm tearing at my skin
could it get much worse than this
that's the only thing i'd ask
besides when you'll text me back

CASPERRR:

don't you text me back 
please i don't wanna relapse
feel this agonizing pressure on my chest
i can't breathe,i can't eat i can't get no rest  

fucked up, over what u told me
u left and now i'm lonely 
got 5gs and smoked that whole shit, holy-moly
u really said i was ur only
that guy was just a homie 
and now im dyin slowly, lonely

epitomeoffailure x kanashi x autumndropsdead x casperrr - blackened soul (sorrow bringer)

produced by: jolst + homesick 
vocals, mixing & mastering by me 

lyrics: 


felt the whole room change when she stepped in
she got fire in her blood she electric
he would kill for her if she would let him 
but she holds his hand tight to prevent it “whered u stay? whered u go? whered u check in?”
it’s a little bit too much
but he expects it 
and it’s more than his face shes obsessed with
she wants his blood
oh i bet tastes expensive 

and in the moonlight of his death
she’ll lay her hands upon her chest and rest
for a while
until this city summons her again,
look down at this place and she can’t help
but crack a smile 
she collects and carries souls from these men
those pretty words she says fu-fu- fuck with my head 
a soft spoken queen til he lays in her bed 
in the morning 
and when it’s time my love will you please heed me with a warning 

and these doors are locked shut, so just bleed
she can’t see anything 
through her mask full of greed
just breathe
bury me 
in the leaves 
by the trees
curse the lips that got me here 
and she ice, so i freeze 
shes a spirit; baby turn my skin white promise i wont leave 
everybody want her but don’t want those punctures from her teeth
i thought vampires were stories
eyes turned black, i couldn’t believe 
on this night this wooden floor is the only thing under me 

my eyes open finally to 6 feet 
of mud
throat is dry, and my hands feel numb 
last thing i remember was the slow slow cut 
i can smell the copper on my clothes
i’m covered in blood
so i push, i pray, i cry, i hope that i get out this rut
she laughs, and i can hear her, though it’s muffled and i’m stuck 
she told me “boy you shoulda turned around when i asked u what’s up”
and then she smile, put a dress on, to the next party she struts 

felt the whole room change when she stepped in
she got fire in her blood she electric
he would kill for her if she would let him 
but she holds his hand tight to prevent it “whered u stay? whered u go? whered u check in?”
it’s a little bit too much
but he expects it 
and it’s more than his face shes obsessed with
she wants his blood
oh i bet tastes expensive

souleater (jolst + homesick)

produced by taurs

and it’s cold here
so grab your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

and my head spins
when we are together 
you never show me love, 
despite that, you’re so special to me 
got ugly eyes, im not the guy you fell for
but i could try my best 
if you give me a chance and don’t leave 

callin, callin callin again
why the fuck are you still stalling?
those texts you left unread 
i can’t avoid the hole, i fall in
fall in to the abyss 
my chest caves in when you call me 
the one that you regret 
i’m so tired of ur shit

and it’s cold here
so bring your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

you were the cruel type
i know you hate me you didn’t have to say it two times ): 
i can’t stay here anymore
my veins are blue, i
guess i’ll just lay here in the snow and watch the moon rise

ugly eyes (taurs)

I'm Not Myself

VOID ETERNAL

ANX13TY

CHR0MAKILL3R

F0RTUNE_TELLER (feat. STATIC DRESS)

lyrics ⬇️
let me in your heart once again
i never thought that i would make some sense of this
but broken promises will never change if they dont listen

gimme just another minute i dont really know what even going on

and i hate to see that you act like youre so conflicted i know that youre gona run

make me think that itll last so long
but it wont even last a week more
now im sleepin out on my wood floor

change out my other clothes for some new ones so that they dont know
i would rock anything you bought me
so that i could show
my love
but, now i wanna burn it on a stove
gave up
On us
everything turn to hatred 
turned to stone

(booj)

It’s like you placed me down below and I’ve got nothing left to show 
Well the thorns scratched deep but I couldn’t let you know 
The brightness in the air covered up all the soulless glare 
I know it when I see it now
I don’t think you would care 
I’m just your person for a moment yet somehow you grieved me 
My heart still beats and I know it’s not sweet anymore 
Just fingertips of stone and languish for a home 
And all that’s left, is to confide 
I’ll sit alone until I’m casted out that’s my kind 
And reconciliation like a curse you place upon me
Now my only thoughts I wish they could just be fondly thought of

(halfhearted)

world on my back, blood on my chin
hate it when the world meets my eyes
didnt mean to fold, it was too cold
told me be bold when i cried
im sorry that iv hardly been the man that you want
im falling and im burning 
like the urn of our love
they say im full of purpose 
but im worthless whwre im from
im sorry im burden,
i was perfect to you once
i wrote a laundry list of how i hate who iv become
im sick of clinching fists and hoping that ill be enough.

turn burgandy
match the color on my tee
cut my heart and let it bleed
watch it run right out of me 
guess ill try to get some sleep
because ppl talk and they percieve

turned to stone w/ lil booj & halfhearted (yunnygoldz)

lyrics ⬇️

i walk away from everything i know
let me be
where i wanna go
drifting away in my sleep

broken lamp but the light still on
everything i do i feel is wrong
tell me to try and then i end up seeming dumb
yea my anxiety riddles my tongue

i cannot speak without feeling numb
and i feel at home when im all alone
weak in the knees when i see em run
i know that theyre against all of the stuff ive done

Crawl out of the basement find another when were out of touch

find someone to share the love from up avove
i dont hate the pressure but i fold when it gets way to much
yea outta luck
yea outta trust

i saw my demise when i saw you do that lil shoulder shrug
yea now u hate my guts; no longer think im a stud
yea i thought it was over with the first time that you left me off
wrong all along
turn my body off

(skele)

skele -
i won’t let you go 
but we won’t make it till the morning 
colder than the snow 
but i still need someone to hold me 
start to lose control 
i hold it down
inside it’s storming 
hear it in my voice 
it start to shake 
when i’m recording 

going numb 
off this bottle 
poured up 
nobody left 
no more light 
no love 
fool me once 
gave my life 
for what 
all i want 
in my eyes 
was us 

nobody there for me to cry for
breaking down 
to you i’m looking like an eye sore 
breaking down 
to you
you’re someone i would die for 
triple digits on the dash 
hit a high score 

i thought maybe i was someone you could try for 
i thought maybe i was someone you would like more 
i thought maybe i was someone you could fall for 
i can’t feel it 
i can’t feel it 
i can’t anymore

spite w/ skele & static (blocktane x nate2timez)

Music Video: https://youtu.be/gy1_Xbg7wq0?si=j4dq071r1s_XjyjH

Recorded November 2024 

speak of what u hate
yeah, i don't wanna know
everything u say, i can feel it in the room 
flocking with the birds and i don't know where to go 
pressure in my body, feel it's presence burning through

lost my only life and i feel it to an extent
everything's a memory of something i wish happened 
time blew by and i know it never happened
no, no

Tired Eyes
Living a disconnected life
Rain soaks through me, distant lights
Lost on the highway, feeling fine 
Feeling fine
And I'm feeling fine 

Speak of what u hate
Yeah, I don't wanna know
Miss U in the Autumn and you don't wanna talk
Years in a blur, passing time before you know
I guess I'm just hoping there's a better world for us 
Ask me to cut my edge off, I'd rather walk alone
I don't wanna drain my life and live a false one for you
Tired of this chore, feel like there's nothing I could do
I don't feel anything I'd like
I don't see you when I speak to you

I'm Not Myself

HKFIFTYONE

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