Maybe Tomorrow - Numb (feat. Caspr)

my second full length album, dearly departing

fully produced and mastered by @jolst
artwork by @/ashleydhe on instagram

featuring:
@cherryrizla
@betweentheveinsandi
@ejcarrmusic

additional production by:
@irby314
@user-757072975
@taylor
@sainttomorrow
@pekarot_161

thank you all for everything. i hope you enjoy <3

lyrics:
i press pause & rewind
it all feels like a movie
maybe thats how i kill time
i swear its amusing
i make a victim of myself
& im crying to no one
its a cycle of nature,
and i live in darkness,
no moon & no sun 

i hope this reads like a letter
whenever you hear it
nothing would make me feel better
than knowing u feel it too
this island it paints me blue
sincerely, it’s cause of u
the way the leaves they hold me
it almost feels like u got to know me 

[evan]
wave after wave 
and i’ve been drowning in a sea of my own thoughts
a clear image of everything i’m not 
hold on and hope it’s not a lot

i know this too well 
here reading the same old story 
i’m stuck in this cycle 
all i can do is wonder if 

are you coming to save me 
i’m empty 
pull me out of the shit that’s preventing me
is it too late to get out of this 
draw my name in the sand are you coming to save me 

are you coming to save me 
am i coming to save me
i put it all line 
draw my name in the sand 
are you coming to save me

stream everywhere!

VIII. sincerely (ft. evan carr) [jolst x pekarot]

SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN

enjoy <3 love you

spin (prod. swaine)

04 [bonus]

th_unkown ends up becoming all u kno.

lyrics

picturing the silence in the shallow nights
every time u take a breath antother candle lights
i didnt thin id be here looking at the world this way 
this fragile skin is all what holds this tainted mind x3

/

i carry bagange 
but listen understand this
its not easy always lifting when u dont now what the plan is 

/

i hope i manage 
but heavy hitting damage 
can hit at any moment 
its not all hopefless if I vanish

/

20 fucking years ive hid inside this mud
ive lived this way
i love the way i get told the things that help me fucking hate
the way ive molded taken shape i had a place where I belonged
u look at me like its familiar 
but u wont know this pain

/

the next time i look in the mirror i will shred my fucking face
and i will do the world a favour. someone’ll take my place
and make the most of what they have 
this a toast to all those sad
stuck in the past
a sinking boat
where waters vast

/

just sink the glass
the pressure building i cant push it back
ill leave you behind a pact
trust my words and they will last

soul shredder

soul-shredder [bonus track] (stillvanishing)

Vocals by Crizzy White, Carlby, Horosha
Produced by Crizzy White
Mixed by Crizzy White, Horosha
Mastered by Crizzy White

Carlby - https://soundcloud.com/carlby
Horosha - https://soundcloud.com/horoshavibes

Verse 1 (Crizzy White):
In your absence 
I was swept in
Tide calm, low water 
But it crept in
I can feel my breath leave as I fall deep
Whisper sweet nothings 'till my brain sleeps
It was never truly fair, I'm asking why you'd ever care 
I'm asking why you have to leave 
When I'm drowning in my sleep
It was never truly fair, I wonder why you're never there 
I'm asking what you did to me
Now I drown in all my dreams

Now I drown in all my dreams
Now I drown to go to sleep
Now I drown in all my dreams 
Now I drown to go to sleep
Now I drown in all my dreams 
Now I drown to go to sleep
Now I drown in all my dreams 
Now I drown to go to sleep 

Hook (Crizzy White)
I'm drowning but I like this 
Haunted by the silence 
Try my best just to hide this 
But the waves feed me violence 
Now I'm dying but I like this 
Now I'm flying like the highest 
She told me not to fight this 
But I couldn't my close my eyelids 

Verse 2 (Carlby)
Now I'm sinking
But I like it
How it fills me with such excitement
Ever deeper
To the bottom
I say bottoms up
Won't someone fill my cup

You're so cruel to me
But at least you make me feel something
This sinking feeling that I get
So hold my head

(Carlby, Crizzy White, Horosha)
Underneath 'til I can't breathe
No matter what I do
I cannot please you
Face down in a shallow pool
The water fills my lungs
As my lips turn blue

Verse 3 (Crizzy White)
When it comes to her there's no talking back 
I got a target on my back and it make her laugh 
Push me off into the water where my head will crash 
If the lake was frozen over it would probably crack 
And I would fall too deep 
I would fall six feet 
I would land into the water with my breath empty 
There's no bubbles at the top but I'm still screaming 
Why'd you hurt me like this 
Is this your fucking sick dream

Hook (Crizzy White)
I'm drowning but I like this 
Haunted by the silence 
Try my best just to hide this 
But the waves feed me violence 
Now I'm dying but I like this 
Now I'm flying like the highest 
She told me not to fight this 
But I couldn't my close my eyelids

Drowning w/ Carlby

Lyrics:
I cant even lie im kind of delusional
I was really thinking that I would be with you
i was believing lies thinking they were the truth
I was being deceived and i aint have a clue 

Hook:
There you go again leaving me again 
telling me you love me to leave me in the end 
telling me that you wanna be more than just friends 
I don't get the bullshit I don't understand
There you go again leaving me again 
telling me you love me to leave me in the end 
I was so stupid had no common sense
I thought that you were different you're no different than them

NOKERB: 
you're not different than them
i was tryna talk to you
but you just talk to my friends
girl you know i saw right through
through your lies and your glance
it's just something you
you should've known in advance

mind shut down as im bout to hit the bare ground
found me out guess i've drowned into these stares now
i don't know where the silence even bears now
and i just thought you should know 

ozzy: 
im so sick of it 
all the shit youre telling me 
had me in a chokehold livin in a fantasy 
had me going back to you like a CD on repeat
how we go from good friends to now being dead to me 
and fuck your new man fucking hope he goes and cheats
hoping that he leaves you to leave you out there struggling 
hope he leaves you crying crying till you fucking bleed
Ive been on my eddie brock
praying that youre lonely

There U Go Again w/ NOKERB (prod. Greyrock)

Stream "Julia" on all platforms:
https://open.spotify.com/track/5DQhKI2XR8ezLYKSLBP15u?si=4c627046914441e3

Julia prod. tiedforsilver & EPHRAIM

huge shout out to ambreezy for correcting my grammar, it's "an" not "a" :)

Spotify

ohsobrkn ~ i'm an introverted mess

lyrics: https://genius.com/Softheart-bad-kid-toy-orchestra-lyrics

drums performed by noah walker

Bad Kid (Toy Orchestra)

Stream on Spotify - out on February 11th, 2021:
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/doublemydose/far-from-perfect
 <3 Hope you enjoy something.
Vocals/lyrics, mixing and mastering by me. Additional background vocals by @darya-naumenko. Guitar and beat by @sorrow_bringer, additional production by me.
LYRICS:
[verse]
Nights pass by too fast 
Within four walls I stay trapped
I’ve tried to drink away the past
But that shit always came back ya
Feelings I don’t show no 
Don’t want them to be known 
Where the fuck can I call home?
I guess this is the life I chose
[chorus]
I don't even understand
Why I continue to treat you this way (this way)
I swore that I'd change (I'll change)
I'll take all the blame
I don't even understand
Why this always happens to me (I don't get it)
I'm so incomplete (so incomplete)
It's you that I need (so beautiful)
[bridge]
Too beautiful for me
 Just leave me as history
Always say what I don’t mean
I’ve cut you slow and watched you bleed
[chorus]
I don't even understand
Why I continue to treat you this way (this way)
I swore that I'd change (I'll change)
I'll take all the blame
I don't even understand
Why this always happens to me (I don't get it)
I'm so incomplete (so incomplete)
It's you that I need
You're so beautiful
[outro]
So beautiful (beautiful to me)
Too beautiful for me…

far from perfect - single

too beautiful for me

STREAM SPOTIFY

too beautiful (with sorrow bringer)

Produced by Scryer x Lulow

YOU'RE JUST A MEMORY THAT ONLY MY MIND CAN SEE

Lyrics:

[Chorus]
you're just a memory 
that only my mind can see
tear me apart
you don't care what you did to me
you burned me to pieces
what was the reason
you played with my feelings
im talking to my demons

you're just a memory 
that only my mind can see
tear me apart
you don't care what you did to me
you burned me to pieces
what was the reason
you played with my feelings
im talking to my demons

[Bridge]
all you ever did, was talk about the same shit
but i don't wanna argue, it makes my fucking heart split
yeah it makes my fucking heart split
cus you're just a memory
inside of my mind
i don't know why you hated me
you just wasted my time

[Chorus]
you're just a memory 
that only my mind can see
tear me apart
you don't care what you did to me
you burned me to pieces
what was the reason
you played with my feelings
im talking to my demons

you're just a memory 
that only my mind can see
tear me apart
you don't care what you did to me
you burned me to pieces
what was the reason
you played with my feelings
im talking to my demons

memory (prod. Scryer x Lulow)

iluvtora

Recent comments

brontosaurus \ü/

Teo.mp1.lol

danxcl

prexh

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