Feelers

home alone

track #2 from the BLACK JAZZ EP by RLK WATKINS


RLK WATKINS - THE BEAST HAS ARRIVED

Diving

I wish that I was dead to you
and I wish that I could move on too
make it easier for me to leave
won't it hurt more if I see you again

the past few years ain't what I bargained for
looks are deceiving when you're down on the floor
now I'm getting way too old for this
living inside my bubble suits me best; I guess

why is your face the first thing I see
when I close my eyes and take one final breath
hold your hand on sight and hope for the best
tell me do you understand my dreams

I was weakened at the knees with a look
I couldn't even try to speak if I spoke
what is wrong with my mentality
twenty years sure took its toll on me

James Nee's Album

Bubble

with my back pressed up on a wall
I realize I'm nothing but talk
with the way that I hide my reaction
like it's nothing at all

need to grab my own hand and take action
make reality my very own bastion
I'm ashamed of what I've become
or am I jealous of everyone young

my polemical writings about you
were to justify my own lack of heart
I don't have a good reason to tell you
how my mind was so stuck in the dark

I hope I've grown into someone you could
forgive me for trying too hard
the front that I put up was strong
I was focusing on everything wrong

Polemics

you never told me
I'd die out slowly
i'll never have an 
impact so worldly
if I learned one thing
over and over
faking your jubilation 
feels homely

I want to rest my
head on your lap but
when did that become 
such a harassment 
to see the skyline
be parallel with
the silhouette of your 
legs on the park bench

If I've lost something
that i've regretted;
my inner sense of
how to be happy
my mind is blank when
you enter my frame
don't even know when
the hell is my birthday

i write my name down
to not forget it
can't pay the bills yet
I'm way too artistic
the rhythm in my 
life feels outdated
missing a beat like
i'm too syncopated

Blank

you're the flower, I'm the frame
but my definitions not the
same as it once was
what a shame now that I'm lost
I'm taking it step by step;
watered down delusions at their
best, i've got to take it
no time to rest, i better fake it

I'm blinded by the burden
the apotheosis of confusion
I wish I was born with
a set of woman's intuition

cold blood running down from my head
can't get distracted by the aesthetics and principles 
free myself from all attachments 
end of summer and I'm stuck in a routine
variations of the same old thing
can you inspire me to believe
it's not so dire

when fighting half your demons
there's no reason you shouldn't be laughing
in the face of uncertainty
a pragmatic stance solves everything

Polemics

james nee