This giving me some older kanashi vibes, mixed wit that new new, hitting 💯💯🖤

produced by heylee manzeron

artwork by annalyceart

kill breanna's soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/killbreanna

Lyrics:

(HeyLee Manzeron)

If I knew what I was, would I feel it in myself?
Would I feel it align with the curves inside my spine?
Well, I feel like it’s benign to try and only find the things that align this way.

I don’t think you understand
I don’t feel like I’m part of this
Binary space inside of my mind
I’ve been forced to survive on silence

I know nobody is perfect
Some days it doesn’t feel worth it
I feel like I’m just a burden
And in my heart, it don’t feel right
I think that I don’t deserve it
And, everything has a purpose
Maybe one day I’ll be heard, and
Things will be okay in the end

And I don’t wanna know if you know and I don’t 
Cause I never wanna know the ways that you kept me sane 
And I don’t wanna know if you know and I don’t
Cause I never wanna know the ways that you kept me sane

(kill breanna)

You kept me fine when no one else did
No one cared to check up on me
Said “who you are?”, I dunno
Least I sleep at night, unlike you
You stay up and contemplate everything that i’m made of
In my head i feel like a nuisance
I know nobody’s perfect but you’re far from the least
You’re like black and white, when you’re perceiving me
I think you don’t wanna see my side of it, I know nobody is


(HeyLee Manzeron)

And in my heart, it don’t feel right
I think that I don’t deserve it
And, everything has a purpose
Maybe one day I’ll be heard, and
Things will be okay in the end

And I don’t wanna know if you know and I don’t 
Cause I never wanna know the ways that you kept me sane 
And I don’t wanna know if you know and I don’t
Cause I never wanna know the ways that you kept me sane

Binary Place (ft. kill breanna)

its less than a month till i leave my home
its one year over due so its time to get gone

bad memories run thru my head
i dont wanna talk about what i said
i dont wanna talk around all the important shit
i dont wanna fight cus baby we are more than this
i see ghosts in my room
and they look almost like you

how am i gonna do what i really need to? i dont know
and how do you expect me to be fine with my circumstances?
i see ghosts in my room
and they almost look like you
black and white is all i see if its not love its anarchy
you could say like anything i promise i wont leave you
i use to go MIA for like two weeks and i still do
but atleast the reason why i do now's cause i love you
ill make it better for you
ill find a way to change hue
i feel like alien
and i just want to relate
got me going

bad memories run thru my head
i dont wanna talk about what i said
i dont wanna talk around all the important shit
i dont wanna fight cus baby we are more than this
i see ghosts in my room
and they look almost like you

how am i gonna do what i really need to? i dont know
and how do you expect me to be fine with my circumstances?
i see ghosts in my room
and they almost look like you
black and white is all i see if its not love its anarchy
you could say like anything i promise i wont leave you
i use to go MIA for like two weeks and i still do
but atleast the reason why i do now's cause i love you

if we're talking about time i wanna cut it down
if its gonna make the wait longer then fuck it all
you're in my mind right now
and i just wanna get to you so i can shut the fuck up
got me going
dont fall down
SINGING EVERYTHING FROM MY HEAD!
its generic
but im simple
when you speak to me you make my legs tremble
i see ghosts in my room
i see ghosts in my room

how am i gonna do what i really need to? i dont know
and how do you expect me to be fine with my circumstances?
i see ghosts in my room
and they almost look like you
black and white is all i see if its not love its anarchy
you could say like anything i promise i wont leave you
i use to go MIA for like two weeks and i still do
but atleast the reason why i do now's cause i love you

its less than a month till i leave my home
its one year over due so its time to get gone
im so fucking sick of waiting for my life
im accepting the fact nothing happens over night

GHOSTS (Scottysplash)

Produced by @irby314 & @jolst
Mixed by @decksmusic
Additional vocals by @prodhorosha
Mastered by Bryan Shortell @shordeli

LYRICS
Wounded at a young age
Had nobody I could turn to
It’s sickening the things you did
And how I learned through
The example you set
I thought I was a black sheep
Turns out I’m just like the rest

Of my family tree
Rotting from the inside
Branches devoid of leaves
So please
Don’t ever idolize me
These eyes have seen more pain than you would believe

I’ve got a damaged brain
There’s not much can be done
After all I’m just a product
I’m my father’s son
I can’t cope with this all on my own
I kill myself slow
Insisting all the while I’m not suicidal
It’s hard to match expectations I put on myself
I took a step
I took two steps back
How will I know when it’s bad enough to need help
I thought I was a black sheep
Turns out I’m just like

My dear old dad
He was the man of the house
He wasn't often around
Guess what that makes me now
As if the world’s against me
I only rely on myself
Turns out I’m somebody else

Listen on Spotify!

Black Sheep (Prod. irby & Jolst)

a mutual sickness report

LYRICS:

You've been on my mind
And I been losing time
Last thing you told me was goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

All my friends are junkies and I'm scared of growing older
It's like every time we talk you end up crying on my shoulder
Could you tell me why we do this? I don't know what the use is
I guess I'll stay in my room, because I'm tired of feeling useless
So braindead, can't eat, can't sleep
I been out my mind, locked in all week
Just hear me out, I'm on my knees
But you don't like to listen to me

You've been on my mind
And I been losing time
Last thing you told me was goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You've been a waste of my time and I don't want this fight
What good is love when you can't see things from someone's side?
Let me just show you tonight, before we say goodbye
Let's go give into our pride, we can't go back inside
What's it gonna take for you to go get the message?
Save me all the evidence, and heartbreak along with it

You've been on my mind
And I been losing time
Last thing you told me was goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

GOODBYE w/ Sinxi

Sorry for my inactivity recently. been finding it hard to put my thoughts into writing. thank you for 2k on your loss with @caspywaspy, thank you for my first 5k, and most importantly thanks for sticking by me. Ill be back fully asap.

Lyrics

man fuck why does nothin ever last
Wonder what that means for the people that i have
Will they miss me like ill miss them?
if they dont then what does that say about my worth 
Uhh , will 
I be okay?
usually i can sleep off all the pain
I tell myself the same every night 
Tomorrow ill be feelin alright

ill be fine when i wake up
Hate when they treat me like something im not 
trying my best to suppress the depression but im so damn close to just giving me up
Fuck
Sorry mum
I wish that i could be the son that you want
A credit to you but im useless as fuck
I should kill myself i wish i was enough
(I wasnt enough)

not doin enough
promise im trying my best to keep up
with all of my friends and my family my loved 
but this shits so hard with my mind in the mud

ill never be who i wanna be
Just a fat piece of shit with a brick for a mind
How did people ever like me?
What do you see in this excuse of a guy
Why do you all stick by me?
i did nothing to deserve that
shit would be best if i died, see?
Spilling my blood in the cold bath

ill be fine when i wake up
Hate when they treat me like something im not 
trying my best to suppress the depression but im so damn close to just giving me up
Fuck
Sorry mum
I wish that i could be the son that you want
A credit to you but im useless as fuck
I should kill myself i wish i was enough
(I wasnt enough)

enough (autrioly)

prod iof and me
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/kanashi/i-dont-think-itll-ever-be-okay-3
lyrics:
im like, dadadada, like dadadadada

i dont think that ill ever be okay
i just sit inside and overthink
like everyday...
every single day
and its kinda gettin old to me
and the older that i get 
the more that i regret everything
everything that ive ever done
all the times that i had to collect my things and run...away
from ppl that dont mean the things that they say
they say...
they dont mean the thing that they say

and i know that ill never feel
the same as i did
way back when i was 
a stupid naive kid...(so stupid)
cuz oh my god i wish i could go back
with what i know now...
im followed by these black clouds
and life never seems to slow down
thats why i rely on drugs now
thats why i sit at home and make these sounds
i dont think that itll ever be okay again...

i dont think itll ever be okay
and it feels like im runnin out of things to say
and im feelin' worse like every single day
and i dont know why i even try anymore
its like the thoughts inside my brain
and my heart are at war...

Spotify Pre-Save

i don't think it'll ever be okay...

lyrics
rn im so fucked up hope i make it to my bed
its one of those rare moments where i come to accept rest
n i pray u can accept me for who i really am
n ill show u all the thoughts n all the scars inside my head

but sipping this ciroc make me feel better
n im fucked up rn so i cant call u im sorry
im bottle deep im just throwing up in this party
i wish u were here so u could calm me
she wanna kno how to kill me i been tryna find out too
n when u stabbed my back was my last memory of u
n  i wanna die rn dont worry bout me
dont worry bout me girl im so sorry

new mistrust from the misuse
after everything im just still confused
i do drugs when i miss u
but i wont let it become an issue
but when im not high my thoughts try to kill me
when i sing u a song hope u forgive me
black tar on my lungs no healing
i dont need love no but it wont kill me
oh but it wont kill me
im writing this song rn n im sad as fuck im hoping u feel me
i still got pain from all my battles scars need u to heal me
im self destructive in my inner thoughts so i conceal me
n i see faces on the drive home
hit me on the iphone
girl just know i love u
im tryna right my wrongs
everything i do is for u dont leave me all alone
i can feel the pressure cracking down on my bones

but sipping this ciroc make me feel better
n im fucked up rn so i cant call u im sorry
im bottle deep im just throwing up in this party
i wish u were here so u could calm me
she wanna kno how to kill me i been tryna find out too
n when u stabbed my back was my last memory of u
n  i wanna die rn dont worry bout me
dont worry bout me girl im so sorry

ciroc [prod. branwen]

i forget who made the beat :(

Lyrics:

yea i'm sleeping on the wheel on a thousand mile drive
where the fuck are all the cars at 
i see no sign of life
and i think i'm seeing ghosts so i'm sure i'm gonna die
and i don't even have a place i'm ending up at in mind

she keeps telling me shit like a week ago i'd buy
now i don't think that i'd believe you if i saw it with my eyes
yea she's going to parties
while i sit here writing lines
it's like a shitty fuckin movie
where she's fucking other guys

but "please don't fuckin cry"
god i can't fucking take it
your heart ain't even mine
baby there's no fucking space 
so how can you still say it's vacant
that shit was just a lie
walking on some eggshells so i don't hit a mine

eggshells

Vocals by me @denverkell and VITO @vito2300
Beat by @splashgvng
Mix by VITO @vito2300

Yung Kell X VITO X splashgvng - cut my losses

self prod 
Check out @b_murph
Thanks to @sinxi for helping with the production of Murph's verse! 

LYRICS

If I could rip my own heart out my chest
I`d make the best life for myself
I`d take what I can
I never want to mix our mistakes
Feel like a cunt
But I dont want to lose all our love
I know that its gone
And I know all the healing is done
She don't even like my feelings for us
Rip my heart out when your feasting for blood
Cuz I know you need a hunt

Happens to myself Nobody exists
I share these planets to myself
So nobody is near
I hate these feelings man I swear
My hearts to closed to cope
My hearts been close to you
And if I wake up
Would it really ever change
Or would we break up
Would these feelings change our ways
Or would I stay tough
I dont like to fucking stay around
For you

I could restart my whole life
But would you let it go
Would you let it go
ima send him home
break down my life, check whats inside
would you break all of the promises you set to cause
I never go back
all these feelings when they go home
Never had it when you love back

Let me go
But now I’m all alone, it’s not that hard to phone
She looks me in the eyes
And takes a sip of wine
She says that I’ll be fine
It feels like it’s a lie
She takes another sip
And my stress multiplies
I cannot trust this bitch
It could mean my demise
So I
Leave while I can, I cannot watch this
Go by
Feet in the sand, my minds a mosh pit

I could restart my whole life
But would you let it go
Would you let it go
ima send him home
break down my life, check whats inside
would you break all of the promises you set to cause
I never go back
all these feelings when they go home
Never had it when you love back

i don't think it'll ever be okay...

Kanashī

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