Written by Senzu, Lxst Boy 
Produced by Heydium
Mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy

Lyrics

Senzu
[Verse]
she was girl from july,
the type with light blue eyes,
the type that drew you close, and made you love her 
like the most
im so sorry i left
if i could do it again
id probably stay, but then id leave cus
the good things fade away

[Hook]
i, went through so many sleepless nights
just to make sure that you're alright, just to make sure
that you'd stay mine
i, did everything i tried
just to say you weren't defined,
by the lies i told to you

Lxst Boy
[Verse]
i told so many lies in the past, yeah
i dont wanna fight, wanna make it all right, yeah
everytime i speak, realize its bad timing
feel im drowning, these sleepless nights
got a hold of me again
lxst my future, lxst my friend
i wont ever sleep again
when i shut my eyes i see you with him

Sleepless Nights Ft Lxst Boy [Heydium]

Powfu x Sleep.ing - Alienated

Star

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

feature: matego // produced by: caps ctrl & xsus

my last goodbye w/ matego (Caps Ctrl & Xsus)

love u @seem_bng
Mixed, Mastered & Produced by: @areyoumatthias
Vocals Mixed by: @kayostarri

lyrics:

im starting to think im worthless
cause my lifes a fucking mess
im just going through these curses
please know im trying my best

you're saying its not as bad as it seems
but i know you'll learn to regret me
i wanna learn to love myself
but im just so fucking ugly, yeah

dropping out, disappointing everyone
try my best to make it up to my mom
do my best, that's what you use to always say
now im falling apart on the brightest day

now im bitchin' 'bout how life ain't fair
got me doubled-down, on my knees, tearing out my hair
got one big, happy family, but im never there
cause no one ever gave a shit, no one ever cared

x2

i want to love myself, but im sO F*CKING UGLY DUDE

i ripped out the pages that reminded me of her
i know that i hate myself don’t need to see the words
i remember i had blamed myself for every time she hurt herself
it happened with the first but with the second it was worse
the deeper cut 
my feet are stuck and sink into the earth
i’ll never be good enough that’s something i have learned
crazy how the coldest person left me with these burns
and then in my time to heal it’s like there’s people taking turns
just to slow down my progress
i convinced myself that everybody is dishonest
i am no exception 
broken hearts and broken promises
follow me
traumatic memories are always haunting me
don’t pick up the blame to pour it onto me
like i always do
i’m not mad at you
because i been moving on and showing gratitude
i been smoking tryna fix my shitty attitude
numbing any feeling in my body through and through
and my memories are lacking any detail so i know that it’s working
i got a woman that i love and treats me better for certain
but the anticipation of finding what’s under the surface
it fucking kills me
but more because she doesn’t deserve it

so love me
tell me that i’m pretty know i’m needy but i need it cause i feel so god damn ugly
i hate the attention
then as soon as it is gone i feel like not a single person cares about me
i fucking hate the way that i ruin everything
cause i can’t control my anxiety
i’m selfish but i’d do anything that you need me to oh the irony

oh the irony
oh the irony
oh the irony i wanna live with you
but will you die with me
i spend this time with you and if it’s wasted
then that’s fine with me
i wanna cherish it
i wanted you to know that you can cry to me
and i hope you stay for a little while take your time to leave
oh the irony i wanna live with you
but will you die with me
(will you die with me)
i spend this time with you and if it’s wasted
then that’s fine with me
(that's fine with me)
i wanna cherish it
i wanted you to know that you can cry to me
and i hope you stay for a little while take your time to leave

so love me
tell me that i’m pretty know i’m needy but i need it cause i feel so god damn ugly
i hate the attention
then as soon as it is gone i feel like not a single person cares about me
i fucking hate the way that i ruin everything
cause i can’t control my anxiety
i’m selfish but i’d do anything that you need me to oh the irony

please love me, i’m trying my hardest (prod. 4lexf)

Rxseboy - Not Alright

Feat @cavasoul
Prod. @boyfifty
Art by @fairenofficial

Don't Cry (Feat. Cavasoul)(Prod. Boyfifty)

written and performed by: @futoh
mix and mastered by: @futoh
produced by: heydium and @jang0x
------------------------------------------------
surprise release :D
hope yall enjoy<3
------------------------------------------------
lyrics:
(verse)
always one to worry bout futures,
used to be chill, till i lost all my humor,
caught in revenge, huh, call me lex luthor,
i just regret that we didnt end sooner,
never stationed, always moving
always dreaming, never lucid,
i got plans so call me stupid,
but dont get mad when im suited
ill be at the top when nobody cared,
i was at the bottom all of them just stared,
so dont be suprised when im closing up,
i dont got an audience, ill make one up,
all ill get, ill get it by myself,
so dont even try to help,
none of yall ever worry bout my health,
til i start talking bout future wealth

[bridge]

(chorus)
look me up and down,
couldn't be bothered
your mans,
cause hes selfish and hes ignorant,
and never making plans,
he can never get involved,
like whats up with that,
yea, i would blow up your phone,
till you answered that,

(verse)
like baby girl, wya now?
you lost everything that you had now,
you did this yourself, dont be throwing fits,
but i wont lie, i do miss
all those nights, yea watching netlfix,
never decide on the show,
like we never decide where to go,
im glad that its over cause now im at home,
watching a movie alone on the couch,
there seems to be comfort in that,
cause every time, yea, i just fall flat,
but now it's too easy, got my life intact,
i always wonder how you doing, but im never checking up,
if you wanted that luxury,  should've been open to talk,
but you always giving up,

[bridge]

(chorus extended)
look me up and down,
couldn't be bothered
your mans,
cause hes selfish and hes ignorant,
and never making plans,
he can never get involved,
like whats up with that,
yea, i would blow up your phone,
till you answered that,
got a list of all the reasons why im never coming back,
you were ignorant and selfish so much times that ive lost track,
you could never get involved,
like whats up with that,
i guess youre perfect for eachother,
and im fine with that,

couldn't be bothered (prod. heydium & jang0)

I Hate Myself With Everything I Am [prod. BadKid]

miserygarden collective
“🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈” safe space <3
===================
archive page - @beruthiel-music

i want to love myself, but im sO F*CKING UGLY DUDE

kobayami

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