“why the fuck do I exist” GOSH DAMN THAT HITS LIKE A TRAIN 🚊🔥🔥🔥

set me far apart
i don't wanna be near you now
fucking up my life yeah thats all i can do
drugs in my mental yeah whats fucking new

everything i live for dies
on my wills written down lies
suicide note left on the door
i can't take this pain do i exist

was i really that worthless
cut me off at any fucking instance
tearing my skin off
why the fuck do i exist

emptying this bottle man its all i have left
you left me in this liquor filled manifest
manifesto written ima blow my fucking brains out
youll see nothing left of me
my friends remember no time of me

im so worthless

im in my room staring at the ceiling
thinking about what youve done without me
it happens every fucking time
nothing new to me, i guess im used to it

its all my fault,
its all my fault,
all my fault
all my fault

fuck myself up
loneliness drives me away
why do i never change (never fucking change)
crying in bed, yeah, im so dead

(roscoe)
she wanna see me hurt again
its just the life we live
id adjust to what you want
cause me and you are never apart

im sick of drowning my emotions in this bottle
all these thoughts want to see me hurt

i fucked it up im not surprised
everytime yeah fuck this shit
i cant keep crying for help
cause no ones gonna be there

hurt (+ polaven)

realization

derrick jay: https://soundcloud.com/derrickjvy/tracks

prod. lava

let me rot w/ derrick jay

been walking down this road
looking for the closest rope
i cant love myself
im stuck in a broken shell
don't you look so pretty
i learned you wont give me anything

(why did you leave me)

always left by myself

numb w/ keta

im not real

bewarb!!!!

i just want you back
did you get my text?
with your rose tinted paragraphs
and you're heartbreaking texts

stop, if im being honest
cant, even think about you
and you cover your scars 
like art in the wind

and i cant stop myself from loving you
i cut myself, from everything and
everything breaks and i dont know why
and you're my saving grace, can't you save me now?

gone, i hate myself (hate)
till my days break
it just seems too fine to not mess it up
i mess up everything, you know

spotify

save me

as i remember
coldest nights of december
as the nights get cold
feeling helpless, i don't
i stopped caring, would you care

as i fall in two (fall in two)
call out to you (calling out)
winter nights, i dont find any hope now
bear my loneliness
heart destructiveness

blow the smoke away
as i lay in bed in dismay
i dont love anyone
feeling like im half way done
drinking so much my heart is numb
why the fuck do i lie
you wont (will) forget me
thats all i have left

as i fall in two (fall in two)
call out to you (calling out)
winter nights, i dont find any hope now
bear my loneliness
heart destructiveness

self destruct (prod. anticon)

help me please ☟︎☜︎☹︎🏱︎ ❍︎♏︎ 🏱︎●︎☜︎✌︎💧︎☜︎

prod. whitecxffin x lava

lyrics:

just want to escape this fucking pain
just want someone to show an ounce of change
nothing ever seems to go my way
fight it in this bottle of endless drink
failing everything, cant you see that?
fill my cup until i can see black

EVERYTHING HURTING ME NOW
OCD RUNS SO DEEP IN ME CANT YOU FUCKING SEE?
CUT MYSELF JUST TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT ME
DROWN MY SORROWS IN THIS BOTTLE 
JUST WANTED TO FEEL ALRIGHT
YOU WENT SO FAR
LETHARGIC EMBELLISHED OBJECTS
I PUT MY SOUL IN THIS
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU

im so worthless

lava

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