dead inside

prod by me and soundcloud.com/cay2o

shoutout to soundcloud.com/heylog , soundcloud.com/nothomex , and soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt for hoppin on this with me they're all goated and rly cool ppl show love to them if u arent already

hope u all enjoy :)

lyrics:

me:
i dont think I can keep on livin like shit
close my eyes, feel the tension 
im stressin bout it 
cause no ones the same, and I cant feel nothin 
im feelin strange, but I cant care cus its nothin 

please dont leave yet, I can see you frown when im bleedin.
please ima be there, anytime u need me ill be close so u can see me 

heylog:
everyday i'm feelin awful
6 feet, horizontal
i recommend u give me space
cause i'm close to hostile
she compliment me on my eyes
said, "i love the way they sparkle"
i'm lookin like some trash
while she's looking like a model
i want you
ur irish changes from green to blue
i love you
but why u gotta leave so soon

not home. :
they told me im too gone 
green packed in a new bong
I told her put her bra on, I wont be here too long 
left your thraxx in a baggy
bad bitch ripped jeans, cincinnati 
im your boy so call me shaggy
at the house now her lips speakin nasty

skele:
go ahead and just leave now
won't be here when i break down
keep cutting me i wont feel it
but i love when you bring the knife out
n babe i think that u ruin me 
not numb but god how i wanna be
look in my eyes if you want i feel the blood in the back of my tongue
say love, 
i really think you're a bad one
i think you like how my hearts gone
i think you just wanna have fun 
play around till it kills me 
till i hang from my ceiling 
getting close to no feeling
will u stay here if im willing

ima be there

spotify

ima be there w/heylog, residential, & skele

Featuring @kaiyko
Produced by @horoshavibes & @splashgvng

LYRICS
I know I fucked up real bad and I can't win you back now
I look straight ahead but I don't see a way out of this
Turns out the vow that we made
Didn't mean anything to you anyway

Now everything just seems meaningless to me
I meant it when I said 'til death so let me rest in peace
I know I fucked up
Blame it on my bad luck
There no more bad blood
It's only love

So when you look back do you do so with tenderness
Or am I just another memory that you repress

(Kaiyko)
I wait for you to come around to say
The things I've already heard before
So tell me what's new
Got a broken heart and nothin left to lose
I know 
You're doin okay
But I am always
Thinkin' of ways to
Get right back to you
But it's too late too late
Gotta get back home to our places
Not sure if I can make it
But I will tell you I would take it all for you
If we could take it all back too
Even if it's all even if it's all for you

Listen on Spotify!

I Meant It When I Said ‘Til Death, so Let Me Rest in Peace w/ Kaiyko (Prod. Horosha & splashgvng)

produced by tsurreal x jkei 

i rock my at2020 like all night
i got bags on my eyes but I'm alright
and my wrist baby you know its all ice
yeah i could make 100 songs
but would they sound good?
no they wouldn't
my recordings aint consistent like my woods is
roll it back
make a new friend everyday, what love is that?
you say you aint got friends, baby thats a-
go to an event with 200 people
and you always go places
man you're really fuckin gifted
yeah you're gifted, your parents gives you gifts, and-
yet you always sit around and complain about the small things
woah woah woah
just hit that shit one more time
you're addicted anyway
your health is going down the
going, going
down the drain
theres not much left to say
i guess you got your way
are you ever gonna realize
the weight
of your actions?
are you happy now..?
are you happy now..
are you happy now..?
tell me
tell me.

u got ur way

wasn't originally gonna post this but whatever

produced by emptychest

completely non profit

lyrics

love letters
she's a real "go get her"
that momento lost forever 
guessing that u burnt my sweater
all the Polaroids she took 
are on my shelf and bound in leather
it's been almost two years 
and I'm not getting any better

hold on baby 
thought u said that ud be back now
the mountains cold 
but u don't notice when ur black out
I thought that maybe
u would like me better Rollin' up loud
but oh god
I've been drinking every night now

I used to always show up early
if I'm late i wasn't gonna come
I like to say I'm always busy
truth is I was busy lighting up 
so tell me what's the plan tonight
I think that I might stay inside
I think I'll write another line
I might just do this till I die
I spend my weekends getting high
and every morning fuck my life
but I look sober in my eyes
so everybody thinks I'm doing fine
it always seems to ease my mind
so honestly it not a waste of time
cus I've got things I try to hide
things u don't want in ur life

love letters
she's a real "go get her"
that momento lost forever
guessing that u burnt my sweater
all the Polaroids she took 
are on my shelf and bound in leather
it's been almost 2 years 
and I'm not getting any better

hold on baby 
thought u said that ud be back now
the mountains cold 
but u don't notice when ur black out
I thought that maybe, 
u would like me better Rollin' up loud
but oh god, 
i've been drinking every night now


bound in leather (emptychest)

(casperrr)
look at the place im in 
notice the pain i feel 
sometimes i wish u were here
so i could have u close 2 me 

look at the way i live
notice the way i bleed
i hide my scars under   sleeves
but i always have blades close 2 me

(self harming i'm addicted to pain
blood flowing down the drain 
u fucked up my whole brain 
cause i still want u to have my last name)~

(skele)
what does it feel like to wake up with closure
drinking alone i've been drunk since october
hoping for change told my mom i'd get sober
blood from my veins ill bleed till it's over
and im so scared that i cant fix the breaks u made
and it's not fair cause i'd be fine if u just stayed
sometimes i wish u were just so i could get sum fucking sleep
sometimes i wish u were baby you are everything i need

(casperrr)
look at the place im in 
notice the pain i feel 
sometimes i wish u were here
so i could have u close 2 me 

look at the way i live
notice the way i bleed
i hide my scars under   sleeves
but i always have blades close 2 me (2x)

look at the place i'm in w/skele (pekarot)

produced by jolst + splashgvng
featuring skele 

sendflowrs:

(it’s so frustrating 
the way u say that 
u know what u want
and u still do not want me)

now it’s the winter
and it’s so cold
she told me she always felt safe
wearing my coat 
i’m still a loser 
always alone ): 
and those big brown eyes 
they always freeze up all my bones 
she shows a smile
and says “come home”
i think the day that i die
i’ll finally grow 

i’m still here
and you’re still right there
and you told me 
“shitll never be the same”
you’re a tumour, but i’m clear 
now you’re somebody else’s 
tidal wave 

(skele)

but i’m here 
and you’re there 
washing out blood dried up in ur hair 
baby don’t keep calling me i don’t care 
going out bad 
like so sad
hurting me till i crash
you’re a tumor 
need to cut you out 
but i’m here 
n you’re there 
n you tell me that it’ll be okay 

(skele & sendflowrs)
i don’t care 

(sendflowrs) 

i’m still here
and you’re still right there
and you told me 
“shitll never be the same”
you’re a tumour, but i’m clear 
now you’re somebody else’s 
tidal wave

tumour, pt 2 (w/ skele) (jolst x splashgvng)

i was never the same

prod: michael harrison, aidan han, and max vossberg
master: @onlyfriendyeah

you said my eyes looked pretty
and wiped the tears from my face 
you told me that you're leaving
but it'll all be okay
and i was never the same
you didn't have to go 
why'd you leave me alone

i bet you're sick of playing innocent
aren't you?
you were happy tearing ligaments
weren't you?
i was always the participant 
for you to see just how bad it gets

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

and really baby you're a monster
i was in love with that

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs
you look so good in white
we do this every time
so baby let me go
i'll see you after i die
the last light
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

and really baby you're a monster
and when i saw you by the water
i should've known i was a goner
but i took everything you offered

you were on me fucking every night
sweating through the signs 
you look so good in white
we do this every time
let me go
i'll see you after i die 
the last light 
will fucking let me know 
i wasted my whole life

i saw you by the water

conclusion; the end of an era
produced by @idlyblare
<3

lyrics:
sing me a song and tell me everything is normal
its been months since i had felt at all, im tryna keep it formal with the
things that i say to those who don’t quite get the most of me
its harder to find out when
they’re leaving

find me a stone & write my name in tiny letters
if u throw it far enough then you and i are stuck together for the
rest of our years or just as long as you put up with me
i know that it has to end
you’re leaving

so if i go
no complaints
we’ll take it slow
until we break

i shop the windows of this breezy inner city
hoping for some inspiration, maybe i’ll find something pretty in the
regurgitation of my life in front of you
i put myself for sale, just wondering
if you still want me too

i break the habits of my past, im nothin better than a
old pair of shoes that no one wears until they gotta
but its
nothing personal
something terminal

i saw the rain
reflecting off your windowsill
i took the pain i gathered
turned it into chlorophyll
who knows the way
we’ll fall back into open arms
i tried to find it comforting
here i am with battle scars

learning to lose

chlorophyll [idly blare]

spotify & apple music!

look what you've done to me

prod. acey
master: @vito2300

sometimes i don't know who i am
look in the mirror
i don't see me there
that's a monster
and he looks somber
but he just killed a man

well lesson learned
i won't get my hopes up
i won't care if you show up
show up
won't be here when the sun comes
the sun comes out

sobered up
missing the way out
locked in
i need to calm down
i can't calm down
in a cold house
i hear every sound

if i was perfect why were you fucking him
tell me what he had i couldn't do better than
n i saw it
you're sobbing
i put the knife in him

i'm numb to the bloodshed
good at destroying
and i'm home when
i'm hearing voices
and in the morning
i'll be what you need
look what you've done to me
look what you've done to me
look what you've done to me

i've had enough for now

home

home (prod. acey)

Playing Dead

safety (secre x heyrick)

just like you promised 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/youngburial https://soundcloud.com/anxietyattackss
master: @vito2300

put me through the pain 
just keep talking to me 
just like you promised 
i wanna watch while you leave 
put me through the shame 
all this crying to me 
won’t make you honest 
i can’t be what you need 

every night it’s silence 
i always dream i’m dying 
i wake up before the knife hits 
you used to hold me till my tears quit 
now you’re there watching as my skin rips 
helping hide the evidence 
cleaning up so elegant 
like it’s so lovely how your day went 

look in my eyes, for once 
i want you to tell me i’m never enough 
throw me on the bed so rough 
bite through my neck till i’m covered in blood 
want you to hold me down 
cover my mouth till i can’t make a sound 
want you to hold me tight 
and give me some scars to remember you by 

just keep talking to me 
just like you promised 
(just like you promised, you promised)
all this crying to me 
won’t make you honest
(you promised, you promised)

put me through the pain 
just keep talking to me 
just like you promised 
i wanna watch while you leave 
put me through the shame 
all this crying to me 
won’t make you honest 
i can’t be what you need

pain

pain (prod. fats'e & anxiety attacks!)

self produced, (dawsin)
mix and mastered by me (dawsin)
written by me (dawsin)

[FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE PLS WEAR HEADPHONES <3]

lyrics ♡:
(hush)

is it sad that i think that your right?
that im ugly? and that you hate the sight
of me, i can promise that its alright
its okay cause i get it all the time

you dont wanna live the same as my youth
i get stares as soon i walk in the room
i get anxious when i wake up and i see the moon
im a human and im not perfect too

i will never forget the pain that Yahiko suffered.
And now...
this world shall know pain. 
ALMIGHTY PUSH!"

cause if you think your my homie you might die
cause everytime i ask you why you just lie 
and if u wanna duke it out then we'll fight 
ill knock u off and pass you by with a sigh

cause if you think your my homie you might die
cause everytime i ask you why you just lie 
and if u wanna duke it out then we'll fight 
ill knock u off and pass you by with a sigh

im trapped 
in the walls
im not so sure what to do about it
pls help me
e-e-e-e-e-e-e
me

why do i feel this way?
why do i feel so much hate?
why dont you come lay my grave
and we will all be safe

I SAID WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?
*way*
WHY DO I FEEL SO MUCH HATE?
WHY DONT YOU COME LAY MY GRAVE
AND WE WILL ALL BE SAFE

S-A-A-A-FE
S-A-A-A-FE
SAFE

*hush*
-
-
-
𝕟𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣

hate

ｔｈａｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｇｕａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｓｈａｄｏｗｓ　ｍｅ

produced by dash vv
https://www.youtube.com/@dash8518

love y'all so much.
thank you for listening.
thank you for being here
more to come, in hopes

realistically wasting my time, and
don't claim you understand
you'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
we'll never last this
i wanna know myself 'fore i should take my life

the other side's so inviting

why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
i can see through the white lies
fuck a check, i ain't switch sides
matter of fact, think i'll own mine
call it wraps, called her 5 times
colon cramps, body's prolly fine
i been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
what the fuck

i hardly get any rest
when i lay me some ground
all my dreams make me sweat
well, honestly what'd i expect, i'm a tremor
who's born to make course with a crest
and since you've got room to assume,
i'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
but i'll say it once to conclude
it's only to falter youth

sending it down through my face to my gut
fireworks sound while i've waited enough
i ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
after effect of it damage and lunges
kicking and punching
wonder and covet
smoke in this oven i claim to be nothing
under the covers, i wake into sunder
and panic, then start to malfunction
these eyes are so indecisive
catching the sights that are so uninvited
well, anything but ultraviolet
going outside, my anxiety heightens
so i'll stay inside and be silent
minus the music and all of the crying
don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

she told me that i'm smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can start to feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

no one
to lend a hand
through the sawdust
in this foreign land
is this all that you want?
forever we run, even if we're not
indefinite rot
smoldered lungs while i talk

and no it ain't from the green
from birth i've been clean
but i kinda wanna be, to escape reality
no way this life was meant for me
never will i come to be fine with low expectancies
i'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
a frozen-hearted entity
thaw the guard that shadows me
too intolerant to speak
cut my lips and break my teeth
numb my limbs, but make it brief
i've got nowhere else to be
but miss the way it used to be
did you feel the same for me?

my eyes cry with the help of high life
can't you tell i repel with a fat lie
any sort of love will numb me;
numb enough to pass life
i sense two decisions
one's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

it was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
i ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
a couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
this not a game, fuck a charade
pressin the keys until i feel okay
throughout the day
'till i collapse and wake up on my face
block out the sound with a video game
or something to drink
lemon and sugar remind me of fate
it's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
sweet by the grain, ay

she told me i was smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

by the grain [prod. dash]

there's no love in those eyes of yours

prod: acey & @vito2300
master: @vito2300 & https://soundcloud.com/diskrypt

can we talk for a second 
i can't breathe when i'm next to you
stop for a second 
reassess what's gotten into you
tell me why i'm looking at a monster
a monster
i feel like a lamb sent to the slaughter 
the slaughter 

i suppose it's unavoidable
you were sent to kill me off 
so make it horrible
want you to cut around my neck 
like i'm deplorable
and i'll sit pretty for you 
rotting under soil 
oh i just give it up right 
i'm so easy don't lie
there's no love in those eyes of yours
oh i'm just wasting my life 
and it's just about time 
i'm just waiting to die
for sure

don't wanna tell you that i like it 
all the blood's got me excited
and if you wanna put me down 
i wouldn't mind it
you can treat me like a dog 
i love the violence
you can tell me what to say 
and i'll recite it 

if i'm the puppet 
you're the hand 
so pull the strings up
do you what you want 
i'll understand 
you're such a demon
(x2)

if i'm the puppet
you're the hand 
so pull the strings up 
do what you want 
i'll understand
you're such a demon
it's so hard for me to talk 
i can't speak up
if i don't see you at the end 
i love you so much

home (prod. acey)

skele

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