this is a album i threw together with songs that didnt fit other projects enjoy <3 

shoutout jerbear for the art

shout all the prods - eric godlow, irby hollowprpl, dash, sorrowbringer, p4ra, neerdowell, & ryan kelly,

most of all of this is non profit I will lease beats  and post a ep on spotify next year.

i'm okay, everythings fine

produced by the wonderful @iamaneerdowell

lyrics;
i say i try my best
but i
never try my best x2

gods always putting me thru tests
and all my friends are pushing me to the ledge
im still waiting for a text from my ex
my dr switched my meds
i think theyre working
its hard to fix something when ur always hurting
and nothings ever fucking working

is this shit always in my fuckedup head
i get tired of waking up and wanting to be dead
idk how much energy i got left
so leave me alone

if i do not answer the phone dont call me again
i dont wanna talk to you, you always got a plan
you use me for attention than go back to your man
ik i was apart of the plan
its okay you win

i say i try my best
but i
never try my best x2

try my best

produced by dash & sorrow bringer 

clip pt2

lyrics;

put the gun to my head
pull the trigger
did u mean any of those words you said
how the fuck did we end up here
put the gun to my head
unload the clip

im better off dead
what you felt about me is dead
theres nothing left 
how much more has to be said
im getting tired of this game of pretend
im just so tired just let it all end
i swear i was trying my best
  
no drug can fix me girl
im way too fucked up
i knew i was never enough
i knew i wasn't the one
i was just taking my turn
this could never work
talk to me like im human
i hope you meant something to me
but those days over its time to set me free
just go just leave
but before you go

did u mean any of those words you said
how the fuck did we end up here
put the gun to my head
unload the clip
blood on everything
there goes all my memories

im on this shit cuz i popped it
bitch i didnt want this
im numbing my pain
because all you can spew is non sense
you cant even stay on topic
you made it about you
when it was about me too
idk how u can love one minute than forget it
i thought we forged it
i know i did some fucked shit
but im not him that wasnt me
i was on drugs when i lost it
but its not a excuse i got a problem
i had everything i wanted
than i lost it
before u walk out

please put the gun to my head
pull the trigger
did u mean any of those fucking words 
that you said
how the fuck did we end up here
put the gun to my head
unload the clip
there goes all my memories


pull the trigger

produced by sorrow bringer

lyrics;
i like to listen to your bones break
take his body and chop it up throw you in the lake
you wont find the remains
everything is gone without a trace
my moral compass is destroyed 
how can we live in a world so opaque

yk this isn't what he thought you would do tonight?
no struggling you do wont help
but isn't that how fate works right?
you dont have anymore lies to tell
i like to watch his flesh melt
oh the misery you must of felt
i already knew i was going to hell
atleast im bringing you down with me
i tried to be friendly
you faked being a friend to me
now your just a trophy i left under lock n key
you know my soul was always empty

i like to listen to your bones break
take his body and chop it up throw you in the lake
you wont find the remains
everything is gone without a trace
my moral compass is destroyed 
how can we live in a world so opaque

bitch im not superman i dont wear a cape
switch up for him n now we are estranged
you think i wanted todo that to him?
i cant even hear your name
because every single fucking time i get rage
i try to forget and it gets brought up again
i cant fucking escape
its 2025 bitch i dont think ill make it to 2028
im losing everything daily
i wont have anything worth living for at this rate
and look at everything i destroyed to get here
look at all this bullshit on my plate
no matter what i fucking do 
all i feel is the same
and your the one to blame


i like to listen to your bones break
take his body and chop it up throw you in the lake
you wont find the remains
everything is gone without a trace
my moral compass is destroyed 
how can we live in a world so opaque


bones break

produced by hollowprpl x tiedforsilver

you dont seem to care at all
you sat there built me up just to watch me fall
u cant even pick up the phone and answer my fucking call
so why should i care at all
you sat there built me up just to fall
u told everyone i changed
that may be true but i dont care at all

ur the reason i dont wanna live at all
we will never be close again
i got these thoughts trapped in my head
you wouldn't even care if i was dead
and i wouldn't care if u where too
i dont wanna hate you 
but i dont have any choice left
i have dreams of me drowning than i wake up in this pool of sweat
waste my time
like how u gonna have a heart intact if u always break mine
im barely getting by
burning everything down
and bottle my feelings up inside 

than everyone will see why
stuck in my head
i take these drugs to avoid it
but this shit isn't fun
i dont even know what i was mixing up
i think im gonna throw up
my visions going blurry im way to fucked up




care at all

produced by sorrow bringer x luffysome
sample from bmw

lyrics:
time flies by and now im just a memory
i knew things where gonna be temporary
but i cant help but feel this way
u where supposed to be here in February
that didn't happen
and now im filled with jealousy
time goes by now 
and im living life contemporary 
while we are living life separately 
do you even mention me?

all those drugs are tempting
but thats a side of me i started mending
it takes time
im actually doing better now, instead of pretending
say im fake as fuck 
but you switched up on me for ur own benefit
lately these thoughts been collecting
and now that i actually payed attention
so many things started connecting
like when you told me you left him
or how i used to get texts when you where out drinking
and how i stayed up all night over thinking
i used to care but now my armors weakened
now every once in awhile i get a call
not even 3 months ago they where frequent 
if u didn't care 
than why did it take you so long to leave than
u can waste time
its not like im running on borrowed time
everything i tried todo wasn't to lie
i just wanted things to be alright
but instead i still lied
and now things aren't fine
i cant focus on that
i cant get you back
it doesnt mattered this time
oh fuck i been getting high like every night
and i know baby its kill me
im alright just go ill be fine

time flies by and now im just a memory
i knew things where gonna be temporary
but i cant help but feel this way
u where supposed to be here in February
that didn't happen
and now im filled with jealousy
time goes by now 
and im living life contemporary 
while we are living life separately 
do you even mention me?

february

non profit

letter p.3
produced by irby

lyrics;
i wanna write this letter
but i dont know where to start
well im sad all the time
and i blame it on the shitty weather
im losing my grip on reality
its almost December
a year without you
i wanna write this letter
but these words are hard to get out
i wanna do better
but i pretend now
i try to be happy
but im back in hell now
its the end of October
and im writing this letter again
but ill put it in the folder
never open it again
its starting to get colder
i wanna write this letter
i wanna get it over with now
but i cant figure it out
i wanna write this letter
im falling apart now
my worlds falling apart
its getting hard to pretend now
if you ever cared
why aren't we even friends now
i barely feel okay now
i wanna write this letter
i wanna write this fucking letter
its been so long
im not holding together
do you even remember
i wanna write this letter
i wanna write this letter
i wanna get better
i cant hold it together
i wrote you this letter
i just want send it ever

this letter - interlude

produced by hollowprpl
soulbound pt2

lyrics;
i opened up the book of my life
its time to turn the page
didn't get any sleep last night
so i jus get another drink
i got memories im trying to erase
im working so hard
but i need a fucking break
im in the studio popping shit just so i can fucking think

theres this feeling inside
its inside me and its killing me
theres something trying to rip me apart
its trying so hard to breakfree
but without this inside of me
ill be fucking empty
theres a hole where there used to be a heart


sick of living
i let everyone down
im gonna drown
i have words
but i cant say them outloud
i had friends
but where are they now
i was trying to find my way
but somehow ended up homebound
tried to move on
but somehow im soul bound
and I dont know what todo now
im so high now im up on the cloud
im so high now my feet cant even reach the ground
im 23 and im barely able to feel a thing now

i haven't been feeling like myself lately
i been avoiding everyone
i bet they all hate me
im sinking in deeper
im losing myself
i think im sick, i got a fever

im falling down
im falling so fast now
i look in the mirror and im like who the fuck are you
im dreaming of nights alone now
but at the end im still falling to my doom 
and i dont even see the ground

fuck everyone
fuck everything 
i damaged my vessel
no one can help me
no one can help you
how can i ever be enough??
how can i ever feel good 
how can i ever feel good enough?
im falling deeper

yeah i got a fever
im falling deeper
i lost myself the day i decided to not get sober
how could i ever keep up??
how could i ever be here

im falling down
im falling so fast now
i look in the mirror and im like who the fuck are you
im dreaming of nights alone now
but at the end im still falling to my doom 
and i dont even see the ground

book of my life

produced by eric godlow

i wasted my time online i have no social skills at all

M.I.A

produced by sorrow bringer

lyrics;
ruthless, thats why its called fate
1 hit thats all it takes
fuck it now im 2 fifths in, and i hate being this way
god i hate being awake
1 wish, i wish i could quit
come quick, b4 lose it 
clueless, i was jus a kid
stupid, how could i lose this

my footprints in the snow and mud
23 almost 24
and im addicted to these drugs
jus a little love
thats all i want
but im so drugged up i forgot
im jus like my mom and i hate it 
why do i gotta be so basic
23 325 5'6 and my heart still vacant
taking pills to fill it
drinking again jus to fix it
grandma found me when my lips were blue 
am i doomed to die in this room
i haven't eaten in days
i dont even enjoy the taste of the food
feeling the warmth of heat
puking up blood i got blood all over my sheets
i feel like im losing my self
most days i barely breath
is there a way out
i dont know but i wanna believe there is

take a pill than pass out
do anything to escape
im haunted by my past now
i have friends
but how long will that last now
its been 15 hours since my last breakdown
but these days im barely awake now
i hate these emotions i fake now

ruthless, thats why its called fate
1 hit thats all it takes
fuck it now im 2 fifths in, and i hate being this way
god i hate being awake
1 wish, i wish i could quit
come quick, b4 lose it 
clueless, i was jus a kid
stupid, how could i lose this

ruthless

made this on 8gs of shrooms 

prod hollowprpl x ryankelly

lyrics;
she added me back yesterday
oh boy what could it be
why do u think ill play ur game
nothings changed
your still the same, im the same
smoking all night
this shit my novocaine
i feel it in my veins

i cant feel my face
all the shit im 
jus numb the pain
3 pills to the brain
im still the same
said id change
but thats far way
i lost my path
i lost my way
maybe im the one playing my own sick game
maybe i should take the blame
but thats why life is ruthless
call it fate
2025 i hate everything i make 
2026 ill try my best 
but everythings the same
im slowly fading away

she added me back yesterday
oh boy what could it be
why do u think ill play ur game
nothings changed
your still the same, im the same
smoking all night
this shit my novocaine
i feel it in my veins

i jus faced 2 blunts
while i got liquor in my cup
im slumped as fuck
it feels like yesterday
but i lost track of time
and its already Friday
i started Wednesday 
i lost my self for the past week
it might not seem that deep
but all that lost time
what was i doing
wasting away to nothing 

she added me back yesterday
oh boy what could it be
why do u think ill play ur game
nothings changed
your still the same, im the same
smoking all night
this shit my novocaine
i feel it in my veins

i'm okay, everythings fine

marsmal