from the inside

I wonder what we’d talk about
If you had come around years ago
I wonder what I’d sing about 
And what we’d feel if you hadn’t gone
I wonder if you meant what you said 
And you got what you meant to gain
I walked the lonely road to you long ago
And you did the same

So what gives you the right to say you and I 
Won’t be again
And what makes you the king of everything
We won’t ever feel again

I wonder what we’d fight about 
If I had stayed a while 
I wonder what we’d eat tonight
If we’d just font down the aisle 
If we never had to hide ourselves like crash
Just what we’d say if the date would last 


(2021)

life boat

First off we decided
We expect you to be excited
We rely on you to call a ride 
And however you divide it
We’ll follow right beside and
Remind you when it’s time to
Cross the line like a recital
And the main show is on Friday

In the dark I have been blinded
Since the first day I arrived
And it wasn’t right
It wasn’t quite my time to 
Run 26 miles

And I’m still ambushed by how your eyes look at mine
I had no choice but to decline
Wondering if you also died
When we aligned

So hi!
Signing on to nothing when you have been so timely
Wondering if you also happened to die
We still respectfully declined

(2021)

recital

Call me what you will
A bird who won’t fly
But this is my house
They’re stepping on my things (inside)
Eggshells in the rain
I’m looking up to get to 
The other side 

And the wolves
They try
They cry
Howl at night 
And the moon smiles
Casting light
I’m looking up
In the rain
To get to the other side

(2021)

mcfly

My mom told me my music sucks
She doesn’t know it really does
You can’t uninvite a vegetarian
From thanksgiving 

I got six cats and some drinking problems
I think one more cat oughtta solve em
You call me self absorbed 
That one… may have been called for

But you miss all the shots you never take
So let’s throw em back one two three four
You email me from your private lake shore
But I don’t want to be you anymore

 I love you mom
Don’t get me wrong
But I’m not the boring one
Let’s think about it
Let’s drink about it

My mom told me my music sucks
She doesn’t know it really does
I’ve got more cats than friends
Let’s throw them back I guess 
One two three 
You know what comes next
Four 

(2021)

thanksgiving

Every thought in your mind
Is real every time
What else would it be
Unless you’re imaginary

Convince the world you make a sound
Without any thought there is no self
Is this a joke or is it just a leap year

Every saint and every sinner
Everyone has died here
Last breaths caught in the atmosphere
Waiting for the sign that it’s all clear
Dissolve into the planetary sphere
Is it love or is it just a bad deal 

(2021)

every saint and every sinner

lonely road

A cheeky mix of a song which will not appear on the final "studio" album; "Nowhere to go now".

Taken from last year's demo sessions at Dungeon Studios, Lancaster, and mixed into shape by legendary producer @user-36337209 - better known as 8Moon this piece is an exclusive for our @SoundCloud army!

Nowhere to go now (DEMO) Dungeon Studios REMIXED BY 8Moon

you made me count how many people would be there when I died
and I think that's shit
I want you to count how many will be there with you when you decide to live
And this ain't no pissing contest but we both know that I drink more
We may not be together but I'm sure as hell I'd go back in time 
to be sure WE NEVER MET

You love all your angles bc all you do is triangulate against me
And it's not the flex you think to make women call me names

There's a high road
but you don't smoke
and you can't drive
So I'll take it
And I know a good joke
but I just blocked you
so I guess I don't (anymore!)

(written 2023)

this album is not called fearless

jokes

you do a really good job of telling the truth
so that when you do lie I don't know that you do
and I'm caught up in this cycle 
like every single night so far

saying horrible things at the top of your lungs
and you really do think you're the hero among us
I'm begging you to stop but you're already drunk
on making me cry when I wake up

the verbal attacks don't make you cool
it's a literal tirade if I don't follow your rules
which are different for me than they are for you
typical you to be unspeakably cruel

yea you rule
yea you rule

you rule

I might
Think I'm winning the fight
Because you're running away
And I'm the holding the knife
..On the wrong side
The blood on my hands
Is actually mine

Because I'm a killer
A stone cold villain yeah
Run you down
Thinking I'm winning

You might have all my pieces
I sacrifice them for the win
This ain't black and white though
Because I'm the one bleeding

killer

You moved on
While I was moving so fast, love
And I stayed young
And you grew old, older with her

I said I'll catch up with you
In the next lap, though
You were through and you went home
And I was still on the track

And again I'm nineteen
And I can't find myself home
Because I crashed every car I own into a wall

And suddenly
Suddenly we are 30 and I am still lost
It's all relative until they decide you're not
It's all relative until you're not

I was moving fast
And I fell apart when it couldn't last
Driving back into an everlong
You grew older while I stayed young

it's all relative

the amount of times you've hung up on me
I would say you're hung up on me
but let's not go down that street
it's always one-way
I always use metaphors because I don't really have the words
so I will use theirs but I'll never take yours
I will never take your word

I Hate You More
it's off my chest now get off of my porch
back down the steps that you wore down
every time that you left then came back around
I Hate You More
I'm not losing this one, bet
I'm kicking you outta of my head
you never paid your rent, you're no victim
you're just evicted

they say the 3rd time's a charm
but you got strikes instead
tell me what the fuck is up with that
the gall that you must have
to still come back swinging -
you're out of your mind
now get out of mine!
you got the last word for the last time
and now we're out of breath
so I'll use my last

I Hate You More

right now around 5 it gets dark outside
who can we thank for saving time
looking around everything is dark
and I can't remember where we parked
hold my hand until we get to the car please

sometimes when I move through the night
there's a spotlight on everybody but me
it's alright I can learn to dance in the dark
('til everybody's watching)
somehow when the sun goes down
and the lights go out
everybody leaves now
I can't let you go, no I can't let you go
but I can let you down

and do you want to dance with me
even when it means no one can see

it's after the movie we came to see at 3
and I would usually ask you to have a bite with me
but I know you're going to ask me to drop you off at home
and for the first time I'm going to drive home alone

I can let you down

I'm breaking dishes
in absentee negligence
and it's hurting my finances
I guess it's paper plates and Dixie cups now
'til I get out

been talking nonsense
and losing all my confidence
I can't keep fighting this
I just gotta figure it out

and they say you can't just run away
and by the way go break your leg
Rome wasn't built in a day
(and you light up the stage)
and they say you can't just run away
and by the way go break your leg
you still got bills to pay
sounds like they want me to stay

I'm losing my friends again
like I've been losing all my bets
can't keep up with the half of them
I'm too dumb to play what they play

boxes packed with everything
I didn't break but it just seems
like I've got the half of me left
if walls could talk then they'd pray

breaking dishes

I've got a heart made of reds
and a head full of blues
I can probably sing all of your favorite tunes
I can talk a big game and walk just the same
I can run a thousand miles and then run them again

I can tell you the plot
before the film has been shot
teaching you the lessons
all before you forgot them
I can jump from the sky
and I'll always be fine
I can tell you the time
but I can't tell you why

I can never ever ever have you
you have me, so why oh why can't I too?
I'm at the gate, I'm never late so why are you?
I have to wait, but why do I have to?

I've got a heart made of reds 
but not the kind that you smoke
got a head full of blues
but that's just what you took
I can sing your favorite tunes if you had any taste at all
I'm moving in but you have no fucking room

big game, bigger than you
a thousand miles to run away from you

(written 2023)

I can never have you

we're joking and laughing and you're keeping track 
of the time that I talk and it pulls me apart
and sometimes you're all I have
you call me weak for that

the conversion must fit within
unreasonable hidden constraints that you have
and I go through the motions like paying your tax
and I hope that you know that you never give back

and we're joking and we're laughing for hours on end
I'm feeling warm again
we're back on track
and we're safely colliding
safely confiding
really we're trying
and then you're lying
I'm crying I'm lying
and inside you're over it
and I'm feeing worn again
you're filming reactions to your mean distractions
and showing them off to your friends

you make me feel like a Bad Friend

(written 2024)

Bad Friend

indie pop specialist
here to ruin your day™️

DEMO EP'S 4 U:

“even the birds are gone”
___
"this album is not called fearless"
___
“vulnerable”
___
“sing shit into an unplugged mic”
___
"11:11"
___
“ask me how I know”
___
"i deserved better"
___
“invisible monsters”
___
“from the inside”
___
“you know it was fun”
___
"stories"
___
"moves"
___
"fluorescent green"
___
"demo"
___
"unnamed"
___
“2021”
___
“icarus”
___
"mountains"
___
"midnight snack"
___
"back on my bullshit"
___
"next up"
___
“fire”
___
“songs to build cars to”
___
"EMPIRE"

just a few demo EP’s to bump
by
janyewest productions;

okbye

every saint and every sinner

mercury

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