you look a lot like me.
i still don't recognize you. 
i don't think i want to. 

i should want to. 

i'm confused. 
i want to be confused,
but i shouldn't want to be. 

avoidance starts me at square one, yet i persist.
what's it called when insanity begins to mean something?

this is unhealthy. i say that's fine.
i'm lying.

breaking the momentum is so hard.
everyone tells me i can do it.
i wonder if i'm crazy. i know i'm impure.

i tell myself that's okay.
i'm lying.

but why?

from dreams of stillbirth

what...created you?

i'm aster. i'm a black american experimental electronic producer of...sorts.

this is my audio diary / aural component to the "astroblur" project, established 2012.

music is life
💕 i want to live as much of it as i can 💕