Metalfire predicted Cloud in SSB4 confirmed

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of annoying companions; Navi from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time vs Clippy, forgotten assistant of Microsoft Office. Enjoy!

garbageGothic as Navi
Commander Jacob as Clippy
Written and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Prod. by Lucy Beatz

-LYRICS-

Navi:
Hey! Wake up! To believe you're better, you must've been asleep forever
It’s funny how this paper clip can’t get his sheet together
Microsoft thought “he’s the best solution for confusion”
Then they moved on to Cortana; Combat THAT Evolution
I mean, which sounds more useful: tips for using a longsword
Or popping up to pester about using the wrong “your?”
You’d think your googly eyes would help you see me sparkling
I’m locking on to this lost kid: Z-list targeting
When it comes to navigators, you’re not topping Navi, honey
Can’t even swing in the same tree as BonziBuddy
Look, listen when I'm dissin', I'll leave The Fucking Clown in heaven
In rap, you have no XP like it's 2007

Clippy:
Clippy’s blicky’s getting clicky when I appear and disrupt her
Seems you need lesson in basic lyrical structure
So stop all the bottled up blabbering when we're battling
Your whole role needed that red squiggle; my bad for Tatl-ing
Run from me like I'm Ganon and see that you're way beyond errant
Clippy Turner gonna wish away this Fairly Odd Parent
Catch me with a hyperlink and you're sent to a rad place
You got a hyper Link? He’s belting at grass blades (HYAAAH!)
Your only purpose was to sit on top the kid’s dome
By the Time you hit the Temple, that and you flew out the window
I mean, he can search the woods, but he don't really got time
But he might find more trees for you to worship and watch die

Navi vs Clippy | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to the 13th episode of AORB! Today we got the alien mutants from the game Among Us, the Imposters, going against one of the Afton's from FNAF, the Purple Guy! Who'll win, and who'll sabotage the battle first? You decide!

Lyrics/credits:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eFtBWyu_f15mJsjVZR3XRzzW5nl4JiQOdopYUO9mno4/edit?usp=drivesdk

The Imposters vs Purple Guy - Acting Out Rap Battles

(Note: This is a remastered version of the original battle, available to watch on YouTube right now - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFdz0OuHuhU&t=117s)

The legendary original Pokémon master Red wants to battle with the master dragon trainer Hiccup from How to Train your Dragon. Which lifelong companion to fire-breathing dragons will reign supreme?

Raichous as Red
RaccoonBroVA as Hiccup
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell

Hiccup (0:07):
This is Berk, your resting place! Hey, don't you mind showing your face?
The only edgy one here should be Stormfly, not some little kid who abandoned his race 
Me and my gang are protecting the dragons, you like to make yours fight to the death 
My bond to Toothless, unprecedented; constant abuse is your form of respect?!


Red (0:23):
So, a social reject wants to get my team wrecked when he left his weak pet
Wallowing in neglect ‘cause he was depressed? Well, Red’s gonna diss your disrespect:
You claim your bond to Toothless is a strong one, tell me how he still ended up brainwashed?
I'm spitting Fire Blasts to take your other leg, go warn the people of Berk of your great loss! 
Serving this Haddock Horrendously lifeless, you ought to run from this battle and give up 
I guess your father was right in the first place, your very being was naught but a Hiccup
I'm used to blasting Team Rocket away, your Night Fury knows that he did the same 
I see why you thought that the dragons weren't safe, when you witnessed yours murder Stoick that day! 
(Ohhh!) What good are you as a leader if it seems your friends can do much better
(Yeah) This senior’s meager when measured to me; like an Ice-type, you crack under pressure
You tamed a monster at 15? I tamed 150 at 10!
I wouldn’t need the schemes of a fiend to bring this trainer to end


Hiccup (1:09):
Oh, no, this isn't the end for me yet; still got a tribe and a secret to guard
Your games are more of a sellout to me than what you buy at a Poké Mart
You went on a journey to become the very best, but you never experienced pain
I lost a leg and my father and Toothless, while in Super Smash Bros, you lost your name!
I got a family, with me and Astrid
You went and ditched your mom just like her husband did! 
Pulling no punches, I'm savage like Bludvist
My rhymes are Ghost-type, you cannot touch this!
The only thing you're gonna catch are these hands 
You'll end up deceased like a Cubone’s mother
With all your Max Potions, you still will not last 
You're getting bullied by Gary? Oh, brother...
Can we just talk about this for a minute? Cap face down but his ego up
Thinks being silent is because he's powerful, but in reality he's just a cub
Looking at the Smash 4 roster - heck, man
You’re getting cut like the National Dex, and
All of your Fire, Red, douse it with flow
And I’m running you over like Pokemon Go!

Red (1:55):
I'd rather remain nameless than be known as a chief of Hooligans 
A master revered for Generations, do you truly know who you're dueling with?
You're calling me out for alleged abuse when you shot down and crippled your best bud
My mother raised me with compassion, yours abandoned you when you were young! 
I birthed a franchise of legendary games
Your games are the plot of your franchise: tame
Like a Garbardor, you bet I'm trashing your rhymes
Verses so hot, I'm burning Berk a second time!
Thinking I’m getting the silver? Look at the sword that’s within your possession
My legacy will be echoed for ages, nobody’s giving your series attention!

Red vs Hiccup. SIR Rap Battles (ft. Raichous and RaccoonBroVA)

(Note: This is a remastered version of the original battle, available to watch on YouTube right now - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUOkX_l1siU&t=28s)

Two protagonists who fight for justice, one a vigilante and the other a steadfast lawyer, duke it out in a battle of raps!

AdamSandlerDRB as Phoenix Wright
RaccoonBroVA as Joker
Written by Special Inquisitor Rayyan, Jofinity and YLFEthan
Mixed by Zagranis
Beat by Anywaywell
Cover art by M!CAH

Phoenix (0:15):
10 years with this job; was a rough journey
But here I don’t even need to bluff dirty
The Phantom Thief leader just isn’t worthy
‘Cause he’s stuck in the shadow of the Ace Attorney
The defence is ready to present, no relent, he's on the offensive, you can't steal this win
The length of your game is a crime, running over more than the one who hit Sumire’s twin!
Sojiro's got heavy burdens if you think you're looking cool
Can I take you seriously when Royal launched on April Fools?
I've had coffee on my face, still more pleasant than your coffees
And I'm dropping thieves harder than Dustin Prince's body 
Got tasered once before, but not as shocking as your plot 
Man, you dropped that bar like the Crow did when his shadow shot 
You're fighting two opponents, seasoned lawyer and obesity 
That burger challenge took some big guts to complete, huh?
The mic, I HOLD IT! Your honor, I've got a point I want to press...
You don't get caught dating your teacher, pharmacist and committing theft?
The Spirit of Justice doesn't really apply For All with the battles you fought
Knowing you saved the world and still got imprisoned, like it was for naught

Ren (1:02): 
Huh, I really did stoop down low, fighting against a washed-up con artist 
I don’t even need to perform my duty when you’re already heartless
I may be branded as criminal, Wright; in the eyes of the law I’m scorned
But the crimes I'm accused of aren't as violent as your bond with Delia Hawthorne!
Forged evidence, Phoenix? And I thought Mia had the brain tumor
Then again, you did get whacked in the head worse than your wacky humour
The future, I’ve risen to fight for it - you're wallowing in the past
I mean being a virgin at your age? No wonder you couldn't bring Mia to Smash!
Over 10 games in and you're growing stale fast
I see that five o' clock, another shadow to unmask
I'll leave you like the voice in my head, left a murmur
Mark it this second time that I've been accused of murder
Fell into a death river but you don’t have any flow
I must be going fishing ‘cause I’m reeling in the dough
You cannot level up to me, I've reached the crescendo 
Dug yourself a hole so deep, it belongs in Mementos!

Phoenix (1:50):
OBJECTION! The testimony you gave contradicts the evidence 
You stated I dug myself a ditch when in Smash you ditched your own friends?
Your win got snubbed at the Game Awards to another silent protagonist
Wendy’s Oldbags are in your face, it’s anything but an accident!
You were made to be a cash cow, always getting milked dry by Atlus
The people are stepping all over you like you're Shibuya’s mattress
Better fix that glove upon your hand, you're worthless in a game of sleight 
I’ll do you like Goro Akechi did, basically I snuff out your light!

Ren (2:21):
Back off, Nicky Boy - you shouldn't mess with a thief’s love 
Repeating your claims like you gave your theme a redux
Running a failing firm, you’re better in Detroit
Surely with that spiky hair, you would've gone to the point 
You'd feed Maya for years with the filler in your story
Don't need to diss your bar, the judge already did it for me 
I'm better at contracts, so let's strike up a truce, see:
I'll Goho-M if you stop lying to Trucy!

Phoenix Wright vs Joker. SIR Rap Battles (ft. AdamDRB and RaccoonBroVA)

Mixed by: Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Thumbnail by: Special Inquisitor Rayyan
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvvFhD8vewjIfLVcJs9xNsA

Seems I’m on a discount cypher, but here I’m not your pal
‘Cause all I see a bunch of noobs like a Battle Royale
So mad I might yell, and leave some impostors popped, suggest ya stop
Eric inaudible, blew up like Whitty, still can’t pop off

Psytube make you whine when I rhyme, you should try it
Turned FRB to Ferb, the way I left a Brit silent
Rayyan gets what I’m sayin’, I’m sprayin’, you best start prayin’
Oliver? More like Olive Garden, getting served on a plate

Dunno half of your names, still takin’ em, piece of cake
Serena ay, see this a trash mix, hope she’s ok
Leo hey, please don’t say your name’s more abhorrent
Way I see it, you’re only “Midget” ‘cause you’re comin’ up short

Make this our fight marker, this where the mic drops, or
It would be if there weren’t so many of you hype droppers
Rabi’s got rabies the way he’s goin’ insane
Spidey Fam you alright man? What ya sayin’ isn’t stayin’

Jade, be more e-Xhack-t which of these fools I should whack
‘Cause I got the comebacks, yell at you like you’re TRAKKED
And Mason, I really thought nobody could get any lamer
But lo and behold… Nevermind, it’s just Gamer

Feel like Mario, I’m a Super Star unloading
While Shimario’s a loser, he should start uploading
Wait… is that the one and only Flooshy in this Arena?
Uhm… I gotta go guys, bye now. Cya!

Jofinity FRB Royale Fanmade Verse

JustGamer as Mr. Game & Watch 
Spidey Fam as Henry Stickmin
Written by JustGamer, Sculpture, YLFEthan
Beat by Kustom
Mixed and Mastered by Glitch

Mr. Game & Watch:
Watch me grapple your cheap road gimmick and then have it unraveled
You're not breaking any NewGrounds so take the path less traveled
Constantly getting saved by Ellie and then you go and cause more fuss? 
Prepare yourself for this fire rap track, or you’ll crash and burn like Charles does
You take a half-finished plot and throw other people’s properties in between 
But you can’t see your constant referencing, with your winking at the screen
Then you got blind sided by Among Us distracting all your players
Just think of this as Youtubers reacting to another of your failures

Henry Stickmin:
You know, you and I are not that different, we’re cut from a similar cloth 
But your raps are so boring you must be channeling your Innersloth 
Parachute from my airship before you make like a f-air hit and bomb that 
You'll fall flat, cause I'm used to battling foes that talk in all cap
The legendary thief, Henry Stickmin
Will easily be able to steal the win
Against the scrappy average hack
Laying in the handheld console bargain bin
Even riding solo, this hero remains fearless
While you always remain so low on the tierlists
Nowadays, your fame has faded away
Cause Nintendo gave Wario your whole schtick

Mr. Game & Watch:
Took one look at making something unique before Fleeing the Complex
Your slapstick sense of humor makes it easy to guess what comes next
Been losing traction since you dropped on Steam
Applying “Random equals funny” in every scene  
And it seems that your greed is so extreme
Won't even share the blame for the death of your team!

Henry Stickmin:
You’ll never be bringing the beef, even with your neutral B
Being replaced on modern releases, this novelty can’t topple me
Been in prison before, I know about bars and how to make them 
After this fail, you’ll see trying to battle me is where you were mistaken

Henry Stickmin vs. Mr Game & Watch - Smash Bros vs. Anything

Thumbnail created by: Fightmarker
Mixed by: Serena

Jofinity:
Yo it’s Jo you know, like a 812
Finally in a battle rap, ‘gainst Ray, debut
Thought you’d plagiarize my bars, like ya pirate your views
But your lines put me to sleep, like ya game reviews
You can’t top the charts ‘cause you got no flows tho
While I’m securin’ top 10, just watch my mojo
Sound like JaySavage all the slurrin’ that you’re sayin’
When I arrive at my destination, I’m gonna kill Rayyan
Production value increased but your quality fell
Brushing off stealing beats like “anyway, well…”
Super Star of the show while you’re stuck as the editor
Maybe cut yourself, fill in a better competitor

Rayyan:
For a guy called Hamilton, I thought that you’d be good at rapping
Now you’re trying to surpass me? There’s no room for it to happen!
For the sake of gaining traction, you drop quality to vomit vids
Crunch your crew with that appalling work ethic? Enough of this!
You couldn’t mask your lack of flow with those horrendous covers, Jo
You better stick to blowing though, like many of your videos
Only won Top 10 ‘cause May was lacking competition
Repetition in your disses, always missing with your rhythm
Thinking you're impatient; decision-making? You're worse
Can't compare to the content I'm making, should learn 
How to fucking edit for a change, so worthless, it hurts
LEAVE JOFINITY SHUT DOWN LIKE NINTENDO SHUT DOWN MIIVERSE

Jofinity:
This Brit’s got less wit than Psytube, dismissin’ all your rhymes, dude
Try to as you might, can’t measure up to my views
It’s time to face the facts, my dude, you can’t comeback
My path is Raichous, your mixing sounds like it’s from BandLab
It’s bad RNG that you are battlin’ me
You got drawn out raps like ANIMATION VS ANYTHING
Sound like Jeff the Killer with Goku screamin’
Always pulling all nighters like GO TO SLEEP BRIT

Rayyan:
JOIN THE DISCORD through your vids, yet it's only full of kids
All your hot takes are just shit, better cool down with some mint
It’s no wonder you wear glasses ‘cause you can’t fucking spell
Bitch, I carry your own battles, check Mewtwo vs Cell
I’m pulling all-nighters ‘cause you keep forcing me to
Bonus-style editing’s your plan for a reboot?
Just look at your icon, I snapped and you’re reduced 
I’d spit heat to burn you out but it seems I don’t need to

Rayyan vs. Jofinity

Tomura Shigaraki: Tony Rigatoni
Yoshikage Kira: RNG
Mixing: Zagranis
Writing: Jofinity and Special Inquisitor Rayyan @rayyan-izz
Thumbnail: Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Lyrics:

Shigaraki: (0:21)

What do we have here? Another wannabe villain?
Who thinks chillin’ and killin’ in a small town means he is winnin’?
I’m pinnin’ you to the wall, as my fingers start to crawl
For all your personalities, I got disses; One for All… (laugh)

I get real, turn you to dust, assertive power? That’s a must
Got my League, you can’t hurt us with your creepy hand fetish lust
Bet my power makes you aroused, but I’m poundin’ you to the ground
More annoying than Roundabout, but I’m out, see you around

Strike out like a bowling pin, can’t match the dough I’m rolling in
Controlling from the shadows, what hit you? You’re not knowing it
Wallowing in the sorrow, you’ll never live to tomorrow
‘Cause after you Bite the Dust, no second chance for you will follow

Kira: (1:07)

It seems I’ve been found out; my name is Yoshikage Kira
If All For One does all the work for you, how could I ever fear ya?
Syria, you go boom, you’re stitched together, Nomu
You’ll know doom when I show you, only blow up when I explode you

Getting beaten; who’s your daddy? Suited pro, you’re not classy
Flashy when I’m attacking, can’t catch me when I’m blasting
I’m suited well, you hide your lack of class behind bars like your mentor
Snapped and turned people to dust, but I say Thanos did it better

Shigaraki: (1:48)

I’m the mastermind behind my ragtag team
With that disguise, you’re just a bad drag queen
At your last demise, you can’t out rap me
You got bested by a dramatic teen

Firing shots like a polaroid, killed your father; that, you can’t avoid
I can’t [STAND] your child nudity, MJ here just bathes with boys
Rohan wrote you in his Death Note when he sent you to Heaven’s Door
I’d call an ambulance for you, but it would just kill you once more

Kira: (2:09)

Given all your past traumas, you’ve got issues with your trust
Right hand to your master, but you let your left get crushed
More of a runt than Shigechi, I’m the one, don’t you get me?
On the run, you can’t best me, All for One couldn’t affect me

Wanna talk about nudity? Friend, that’s not how this works
With all your sexualized minors, I’m sure your author has his quirks
You’re a Stain on humanity, but still not a hero killer
My jars of nails and the long details couldn’t stack up to your filler

To assure my victory, I’d deploy Sheer Heart Attack
But it would end up backfiring, it’d go after my fire raps
No point in using Stray Cat, there’s already a hole in your heart
From when you finally lost your mind and tore your family apart

(REMIX)Yoshikage Kira vs Tomura Shigaraki(feat. Tony Rigatoni and RNG). Super Star Rap Battle!



King Mewtwo as Postman Pat

RaccoonBroVA As the Unabomber

Beat by: Dansonn

Written by: RNG
Help from: King Mewtwo and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by: Zagranis



Pat: (0:22)
It's not a great day in Greendale with Theodore John Kazynski 
I’m the master of the mail I’ll be delivering disses see?
I got a black and white cat, you're just a black sheep
The UNA-BUM of the Freedom Club can't best me
Your brain got twisted by 3 years of torture
When you got sick as a kid it messed you up even more so
If being sick was the cause of all your bombing murder sprees
What makes you think trying to spit sick won't also bomb verbally?
I run my rounds on this beat it's not my tires that are poppin
Cause on the microphone i'm a Greendale Rocket
With a diss on flow 
there's an L through your door, and this one wont blow 

Ted: (0:55)
Wait, who is this, some british bitch made for kids?
Theres nothing fucking to him how am i supposed to diss
Oh well i guess for killing a beat i'll take another guilty plea
Cause for a postman you have terrible delivery
You embody the thing that I hate the most Pat
Mindless nothing of a children's show Pat
Tech filled entertainment taking meaning from life
With fake “education” slowly melting away minds
Then you were made worse when you became CGI    
I'm not surprised computers took away any of your life
Yet it seems you’re out of date most people leave you forgot
Even I’ve been alive years after your show’s motion stopped

Pat: (1:28)
Ted that wasn't very nice, but I’m not talking about your crimes
When You’ve not had 16 lines but you bombed 16 times
I'm doing my dream job while you just dropped from yours
I provide for my family while you leeched off of yours
I teach kids lessons in being kind and growing up
You teach people horrid lessons by blowing them up
I diss sharp on a track that i run like my van
Movement ended by your brother, should be used to backstabs

Ted: (1:50)
A Clifftons loss usually upsets me but not when
you clowned with Ted like you had to make cash for your execs 
You talk of my family and how "backstabbing brought my end"
But you gave a ginger kid to one of your blonde friends
And you wish to diss my methods of saving humanity 
When you do nothing for the world mindlessly sitting there happily
Watching an episode of yours is an insanity plea
But we’re done here i want back in my cell for some peace



The Unabomber vs Postman Pat - RNG Rap Battle

Spiderman vs Mr. Rogers:
Battle of the friendly neighbors

All In Rap Battles, or AIRB, is a fanmade rap battle series run by MaviKartal2003. This is the first battle to get an audio.

Snakebite126 as Spiderman
RNG as Mr. Rogers
Mixed by Glitchdude
Thumbnail by Oofie the Rap Dude
Beat by Printscream Records

SM:
With great power comes great responsibility
For the kids you have the power of affability
But having the bite for the mic is what you lack 
And Doc Ock can confirm, I stop foes on their track

I’m putting bad guys behind bars in a daily basis
Just check out the headline, my photoshoots are hits
While Far From Home, you struggle to land on your feet
So this Spectacular Spiderverse ensures your defeat

MR:
I like the way you are, but here is the issue
You got too much variation for me to diss you
So general material is what I’m preferring to use
While stomping this spider after changing my shoes

Swinging around might be fun but it can cause thee pain
When your radioactive features claim the life of Mary Jane
Leaving your heart broken like the neck of Gwen
Another tragedy that eats you up like Uncle Ben

SM:
What a sleep inducing verse, I should call you the Sandman
You’re not good at stealing thunder like Max Dillon can
You should leave line delivery to Mr. Mcfeely
Or the Owl won’t be the only X in the vicinity

Considering our status, beating you isn’t fulfilling
That’s like comparing TV House to Empire State Building
Spider Sense never tingled, this sweater wearer’s no threat
So the resident of Queens is taking the crown, no sweat

MR:
Unlucky today aren’t we, let's talk about that
Maybe you should stop hanging out with the Black Cat
Web shooters on your wrist is good for transportation
But using world wide web only leaves my heart Frozen

A puppet in Disneyland of Make Believe with a symbiote
That turns relations venomous, hard for you to stay afloat
With all the reboots you recieve, for first time in my neighborhood
I’ll hear “Mr. Rogers, I don’t feel so good”

Spiderman vs Mr. Rogers - AIRB

Welcome to another Epic Rap Battles of ??? here we have Cloud vs Shulk enjoy

Shulk: [REDACTED]

Cloud Strife: [REDACTED]

Lyrics:

Shulk: (0:14)
I don’t need to use Lord Rikis power to foresee your defeat
Ask Metal Face and Bionis I’m impossible to beat
Everyone in Colony 9 knows I’m a third degree rap god
Like Vincent Valentine you’re nothing, but flawed 
You’ll always be the lonely kid who can never get a friend
When I bring the arts of Monado to place it will be your end
With a Stream Edge I’ll bust you up bigger then Tifa
How can I be scared, when you got your ass kicked by Sora!

Cloud Strife: (0:40)
The Mercenary is storming in to lyrically Omnislash this annoyance
When you fight the limitless SOLDIER you never have a chance
Packing more power than Shinra and more energy than the Life Stream
I never fail a job so you winning here is in your dreams 
I’ll drop rhymes faster and bury you harder then an AVALANCHE 
When I strike you with my Buster Sword It’ll leave you in a trance
I don’t even have to use my advanced tactics to win
Looks like this will be the second battle that you’ve died in!!

Shulk: (1:08)
Wow! That verse was like your graphics, but lower quality
The disses I spit will burn worse than your mommy!!
I’ll Super Smash you so hard not even your white mage can save you
I’ve got a Battle soul so you can’t touch me and my crew
My Shadow Eye can see your chances are lower than your temper
When representing Square, even Lightning would do better
I mean c’mon atleast I’m not the one who wore a bow and dress
Your rapping is a bigger tragedy than the death of Aeris!!
 
Cloud Strife:(1:33)
I’VE BROKEN MY LIMIT, I’VE SURPASSED LEVEL 99
I’M A MAN OF PRIDE AND STRENGTH WHILE YOU JUST WHINE
WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS GIVE’S UP GODSHIP, ARE YOU SERIOUS
SPITTING RHYMES FASTER THAN BARRET, WILL LEAVE YOU DELIRIOUS 
MY FLOW WILL CRUSH YOU EVEN HARDER THAN A METEOR 
IT DOESN’T REQUIRE ANY STRIFE TO SCHOOL THIS EYE SORE
I HATE YOUR RAPS EVEN MORE THEN YOU  HATE VEGGIES
We’ll have to retitle this rap battle to “Shulks Final Fantasy”

Epic Rap Battles of ??? #4: Cloud Strife vs Shulk

my rap battles are sicker than yo grandma

she/her

Epic Rap Battles of ??? #4: Cloud Strife vs Shulk

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