Yoooo this is 🔥🔥🔥🔥 more people in relationships need to hear this I'm glad I have all the steps down

This is really good advice, but do you really think he is going to listen to this???

Advice for my ex the next time he falls in love:

1) Take her places. I know that you've worked hard to get to where you are in life, but please remember that it is okay to slow down once in a while - that it is okay to breathe easily and to take a stroll instead of a jog. Staying in one place gets boring, and though you may be moving places, be sure to take her with you.

2) Kiss her. Hold her. Touch her. Do all of this as often as you both want. Be gentle with her. Be rough with her. Be goofy with her. Just don't be stiff with her. Don't ignore her. Let her know just how much of your world she inhabits. Don't ever let her forget it.

3) She will get sad about things that do not have to do with you. She will get sad about things that do. She will get sad. She is only human. When she is sad, know that you may not be able to fix it. Know that that's okay. Know that sometimes, there is no magic emergency kit filled with butterfly closures and gauze and medical tape. Know that although you may feel helpless, sometimes a kiss truly is all that is needed for instant relief.

4) Make time for her. Whether it is the two seconds it takes to send a text saying she's on your mind or it is the hour and a half conversation on the phone after a trying day at work, she will smile for hours knowing that she is blessed with being an important part of your life.

5) Tell her your life's story. Spare none of the details. Watch her face as it all sinks in. Accept whatever her reaction may be, whether it is silence or a botched attempt at words to the effect of, "I had no idea," because she knows that you don't want pity, but she can't seem to find the words to tell you just how much she admires how far you've come from what you could have been, how she adores the man you've grown into, despite what you've gone through. Let her communicate this through a tight hug.

6) If you fear that she is becoming more of a friend than a lover, my God, do something about it. Friendship does not signal the end of a relationship: it is vital to the success of one. Do not fear this. Friendship is healthy. Don't be frightened. You are allowed to love someone in more ways than one. Please don't run away this time.

7) Love her in such a way that she realizes every day just how lucky she is to have you to love her.

8) Learn her body differently than you learned mine. Please don't remember mine when you are in bed with her.

9) Let her talk to your grandma, or if she'd rather write a letter, encourage her to do so. We all only have so much time here, and I want her to know that you are in good hands.

10) Love her. Always love her in the way I know you are more than able to.

-things I wanted to say months ago that may be useful now

June 17, 2014

~MRM~

Advice For My Ex The Next Time He Falls In Love

We live on a blue planet that follows a path around a ball of fire.
Every year you age means you have traversed 
So many millions of miles even if it doesn’t feel like you’ve moved a single step
the place you live has carried you around this vastness, this star.
You may not look in the mirror and see yourself for what you are
but believe me when I say that you are made of the same things 
that you look up into the sky and admire on the nights when you wish
that you weren’t alone – you are not alone – you are someone’s sun,
someone’s daughter, someone’s son, you are a star in somebody else’s sky,
and together, all of us humans… all of us living things, what could we be? 
Who could we be? What could we become if only we would cease warring against
each other – what could we be? 
We could be like the galaxies. 
We could be colour.
Creation. 
We could be the very concept of imagination
if only we stopped fighting each other and fighting ourselves,
there has been too much bloodshed. 
I know how much it hurts to wage a war you know you cannot win.
I have been there.
A twenty year old veteran, a child soldier, we have all been there.
We have all seen more than we should ever have had to see
and yet we have not seen nearly enough.
We are all one in the same. 
I don’t know how that’s such a difficult concept to understand
But your blood
and my blood 
show very little difference or discrepancy. All that differs is the blonde of your hair
And the black of mine, your blue eyes and my brown ones,
the colour of our skin – the amount of melanin we have inherited from our mothers and fathers
and they from theirs, and they from theirs. 
When it comes to hearts, and lungs and stomachs and hands
we are the same. We breathe the same air. We are made of the same things. How 
is it possible to say that one person has more of a right to life
over anyone else? That some are not entitled to feel the grass
beneath our bare feet or the speckling of clean water on our skin –
One in nine people do not have safe water to drink.   
Who are we to not be entitled to see the sun rise every morning
or watch it set – there are people in Beijing that haven’t seen the sun
unblemished through the smog since 2013, 
but we are not the sum of our mistakes: we can only learn from them. 
We can only change the future – and not the past. 
We get so caught up in the lessons we haven’t learned 
we forget to learn the ones that are laid out before us:
We are all stars. And you must remember and understand that even 
stars fall and die – and when they do they reassemble themselves from what they have left. 
Their lives aren’t theirs to change: all they know is that 
they must play the game of life with the life that they are given. 
There are so many things beyond our control that we tie ourselves up in knots with, 
weigh ourselves down with, hang ourselves in nooses with, 
but let me tell you it’s not worth it.
You are a star, and you and your family and your friends and everyone you know
are all suns and planets and meteors caught inside of each other’s orbit 
with tails of ice and fire, and together we 
are a collective of beautiful and extraordinary things. 
But just picture this:
throughout your entire life you will never see your face
the way anybody else sees it. 
You only see it encaged in picture frames or inside mirrors or 
plasma screens - 
you never see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you.
And stars never see themselves.
It is easy then, to see how much we have in common with the heavens,
though we live on earth.
Picture this: before the Big Bang ever began
inside the palms of God’s hands, there was a single grain
of heavenly sand, and that grain became the sun.
You are a grain of sand. And maybe you are a just a single atom 
born into the vast colour of a nebula, but love, that is where 
all stars are born. One day, you will become a sun, 
but only you can decide whether or not
you become a galaxy. 

Advice For My Ex The Next Time He Falls In Love

fearlesslywritten

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