BEST OF THE MOOSE

SPANDEX MOOSE IN THE VPC

Choose Your Own Adventure Challenge Criteria:

4 minute maximum length

Team must pick from one of the provided Genres and Screens to inspire their song.

Vocalist must liberally utilize one of the following: doubletime, singing, alliteration

Producer must utilize one of the following: chiptune, no snares, odd time signature

The song must include a Cutscene (15 second minimum length)

The song must loop seamlessly. 

Artwork Challenge (for fun):
Design the cover to your game!

VPC7 Round Two - Choose Your Own Adventure

VPC7 R2: TOP TO BOTTOM

Spandex Moose

VPC7 ALL TRACKS

Fandom: Lord of the Rings 
Character: Bill the Pony

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY

I started from the bottom then one day four hobbits came
They said let's get poppin' and we went to weather top n hey
I've got a brave heart like William Wallace, honest
But when those wraiths got on us I ran like they were coppers

But then I drank from the well in rivendell
now I'm unbeatable strap on your seat-a-belts
cos i got those buffs like gandalf right after he fell
and I'm oh so furry just like beast and belle

you'll only ever be half of me
they named the prancing pony after me
(that's not canon) mmmm shut up!
I'm the valiant stallion you're as soft as butter

I'm like if rainbow dash n lil sebastian
had a passion for smashin' call me lil lil sebastian
just imagine! i'm magic
I'm such a Star they be callin me Patrick

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY
BILLNBILLNBILLN
YOU FINNA KNOW ME

Let me introduce you to my fellowship it's hella sick
We'll be BFFs forever man we'll never split
Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, damn!
Boromir, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam!

Fording rivers, crossing plains, climbin mountains day on day
Did you think I'm quittin on this mission? Neigh!
We're at the lake, chillin' by the gate
can't get inside , gandalf's in a rage

wha wha wha what's Elvish for friend?
"Mellon" and this is how it ends?
my protestations falling on to hollow ears
man ya'll a bunch of Boromirs!

enjoy your bloody trip to mordor orcs are 
round every corner sorta hope you fall in water
n get slaughtered n quartered cos it gotcha
I'm off ya'll enjoy "THE WATCHER!"


my teas gone cold I'm wonderin why
I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
but I can't see at all
and even if I could it would all be grey
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

Dear mister horses aren't allowed inside the mines
I ate your lembas bread good luck i'm sure you'll be just fine
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it
I was your mane man now you carry the pots and pans you pervert

Frodo don't know you like I know you Sam, no one does!
They don't know what it was like as Shire lower class
Hey Sam I just blazed ya westfarthing! Dare me to ride?
You know that song by Bombadill where nothing happens
and everyones confused, that's kinda how this is
you could've pulled me off the floor
anyway I gotta stop now cos I'm a little horse.

VPC 7 Round 1

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Bill The Pony

Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

Play Sullivan Family Values - the playable RPG to go with this track at https://yngsllvn.com

Measure up -- not enough
Ruin everything I touch
heart is ash, blood is dust
Every beat a cover up
I got debt to settle up
Medical, vendettical
Throw me on the bonfire:
Skeptical heretical
Every time I level up
I put it on that rogue shit:
Double talk, weaponry
Knowledges, lockpicks
Every bar is bouta to hit
Like bitter mana potions
You can catch these hands
Like I'm throwin out explosives
I'm caustic, I'm basic
I'm awesome, I ain't shit
I fucked most my life up
And I can't escape it
No skills, depravèd
Degenerate wasted
Chasin off payments


AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
to your mama
to your sister 
to your father 
To your friends and to your daughter
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To your doctor 
to your preacher 
to your toddler
And to your boss and to your dog
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
to the neighbor 
Who maintains he fuckin hates ya
To your teacher gradin papers yo
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To the senators who say they represent you
But their morals are for rent well
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS


Ketamine coma in the classroom
Y'all aghast, and I'm like:
Did I fuckin ask you?
Y'all the same fools 
who'd throw me in the trash
Cause I ain't go no degree and 
I refuse to kiss your ass
I'm done with the pretension
That I fuck with your pretension
You can crawl up in my mentions
Bawlin sobbin so upset and
I'll be sippin on Electric Kool
This the acid test
Contemplate my next move
This a game of chess
What's the point of buildin up
When the waters set to rise
And the minters of the money
Got their bunkers prepped to hide
That's a problem for the future
I got problems right now
I can solve em cuz
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS


to your mama
to your sister 
to your father 
To your friends and to your daughter
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To your doctor 
to your preacher 
to your toddler
And to your boss and to your dog
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To the PTA, the HOA, the NSA
The IRA and Dave Coulier
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To every person in your shitty little town
They're coppin on the lowdown
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS

VPC 7 Round 2

YNG SLLVN [LLYZZ, YNGSLLVN] - At Least

(VERSE - J)
I'm on a mission to rid of the rules,
Lyrical freedom is critical
Gonna get rid of the fools
How can take on the mediums forcing obedience
Now you controlling our bpms 
VPC will not use us as a tool
We ain’t subsident


Finally approaching the end of the line
Fully equipped and divine
Gathered my summons in ruins
 And items that are hard to find
VPC League want our minds
Make us believe we inclined
To create under a structure
 And never beyond what’s defined 
I wanna take back what’s mines! 
(I’m takin back what’s mine!)
Shout as I jumped through the light
Portaled to Czarina Castle 
And asshole judges are in sight
Thinkin' of all of the friends that I lost 
Wit no fear in my eyes
The judges just line up and smile



(VERSE - J)
RJ and Navi attack me
Took my blade aimed for his fade 
For he real live tried to trap me,
I swear I can make a way
Gauge filling up while I’m fighting Navi,
Dodgin RJ,
(RJ: Come here!)
Smash B
Body flare up with flames,
I glow with the light of friends and fire!


(ALLITERATION SPELL - J)
Breaking oblivious bastards
While bringing them blizzards and beams!
Blinding the bitches I’m beating the beast
And I’m beating them breme
Blasts and I’m breaking their base
And blasting the bastards they break
Bated embracing the basis to
Bravely break the best brain BOW


Running and jumping the stairs
Hungry to run the next pair
Potion in motion
And floating companion makes sure I’m prepared
Jump on 1-Up, I ain’t scared!
Looked at me like don’t you dare 
(1-Up: Heh, don’t you dare!)


Swinging on walls then he hit me so hard
That my new health bar blared 
Shrubz and Bill dropped from the ceiling
And made an eruption of lava
And caught me while healing and everything around me just started to droppin 
I jump away gliding and riding
The flame waves of their unspoken drama 
And dive in attacking them all 
with no option and glow up with Blizzaga


(ALLITERATION SPELL - J)
Breaking oblivious bastards while bringing them blizzards and beams
Blinding the bitches I’m beating the beast and I’m beating them breme
Blasts and I’m breaking their base
And blasting the bastards they break
Bated embracing the basis to
Bravely break the best brain BOW


(CUTSCENE)
CZARINA:
Hahahahaha! 
I’m impressed you made it this far.
How cute!


CREATELADYJ: 
This isn’t funny, Czarina! People are afraid to do anything outside of your order, it isn’t right!


CZARINA: 
Ohhh please...we brought the best out of everyone...and you know it!


CREATELADYJ:
It isn't right...


CZARINA:
What’s wrong J? Were the rules too much for you?


CREATELADYJ: 
GRRRR fuck you...


(VERSE - J)
Czarina, she goes to attack
I block then I swivel back
Crash she put me on my ass
I didn’t see what she attacked
Teleport she moving fast
Ignore I slash her back
Bam, hit, then I fuckin crash
Meteor and they’re moving fast
Bam, hit, and I fuckin crash
She stands and fuckin laugh
I’m pissed so I go attack
Bam, hit, then I fuckin crash
Sick of your fuckin ass 
(I’m sick of you!)
You bitch ima fire back 
(you bitch!)
charging up my attack
I don’t think I’m gonna last 
(I’m not gonna last)


(ALLITERATION FAILED; J STAMMERS)
Breaking these bitches with blizzards and beams
Blinding the bastards and beasts..
Beating...
Bated embraces..
I’m Breaking.. the basis..


(CAM3 JOINS THE PARTY)


(VERSE - CAM)
No thinking of dying on my watch,
That's not in the contract!
Rise and let's shine on these niggas
With vigor and bombast
Power of friendship is boring?
Let em sleep
We gon shake em awake
When I lend you my energy


[TEAM ALLITERATION]

Vessels of Light [CreateLadyJ, Cam3] - The Final Judgement

Genre - Role Playing Game!
Screen - The Final Encounter!
Vocalist - Doubletime! [ Zolt Energy Serum ]
Producer - NO SNARES! [ The Bear Hammock 29-F; 0 innovated and pitched down a timbale hit, which was then heavily EQ'd; followed by a layer of distortion! ]

SKILL CHECK! Screams of an Angel's Unwritten Destiny!
By The Storytellers [The Paladxn, 0]


Cutscene 

[laughter]
Four freestyle rap heroes, called forth to embrace arcane dangers in a world not their own, at last face off against an eldritch abomination before their way home closes for good… Wait a second, is this game real?!


Verse 1

Right I wanna get it Underway, 
Multiplayer Gameplay Isekai Anime Roleplay,
Storydriven, live a little - hidden in the code, hey,
What’s a little AI when you’re in the know, eh?
5th player GM, now in the mem’ray
Tabulating scores with the lightning in the core
Game used to be a Tabletop, now it’s on a PC
Freestyle Rap D&D, that Steam Heat
Breeze past details, straight into the action,
Got new players into rap with a passion
Blast through con after con interaction
Formed new family to fight with, faction
Bicker in the group, entertaining, an attraction
MIC made of magic when a demon wanna cash in
FIGHT with the power from the Spectral Realm
Rap well: it’s only you, ‘gainst the powers of Hell!


Chorus 1

CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
THERE’S MAGIC IN THE MIC
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
FREESTYLE TO SURVIVE
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE


Verse 2

Now that you know what the Game is, watch as the Fates flip
Upside down to believe it; seen with incredulous eye
As every rap in the mind
Becomes a reason that your crew still breathing
Use an at-home mic, 
And watch an enemy life
Be taken down like the bars you full of,
You scream and you laugh as you snatch the wool off
Each Bardic (every well-timed hook) you pull off,
All you've done in the campaign to date
They on the run, why they old false gods awaked
We wouldn't let em have their way with the plane, we stayed,
And that's the difference between time that you find and make
But as a skyscraper sized wooden demon delivered,
Every sizzling sinner's nightmare they had in a pillory
We nipped the sitch and the stitching pretty, desynchronizing his milly
Synergy higher than ever Amp Check and bam we're in bizzy


Chorus 2

CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
THERE’S MAGIC IN THE MIC
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
FREESTYLE TO SURVIVE
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
[laughter]


Solo                
 

Chorus 3

CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
THERE’S MAGIC IN THE MIC
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
FREESTYLE TO SURVIVE
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE

[NOTE: The CUTSCENE, as a creative choice, has been married in form to the looping challenge; 15+ seconds in length.]

The Storytellers [The Paladxn, 0] - SKILL CHECK! Screams of an Angel's Unwritten Destiny!

"S.K.o.L."  final encounter bgm from the hit dating simulator-
Very Pretty CartoonsVII   

*Let me just re equip my quintuple A amulet here aaand there we go....  
Ladies Love Leisure suit Larry
Is that a dating sim?
Did we win?*


(V1-00:14)
This is it,
Login with a Loggins reference
Pay to play, or pay to win
I'd pay some cents to sense the difference
Spent hours days weeks months
Shit I've got years invested
Been at this game since beta
Your mothers approve, 
these kids been tested
I GET MY KIX ON THIS SHIT
its everyday I
Rectify relationships with rudimentary AI
Macintosh Macdaddy 
Original digital playa
Apps asking permissions like we playin Mother  May I
Hey Yah! 
Now shake them Jpeg pictures
Getcha gatcha game up 
Give the gold to get them girls the gift shop
Now we're doused in Drip Drop
What up Nerdcore Hip Hop?
I'm sorting out these ranks like half Quartet's hat at the tiptop 
Dont be flip flops

(Hook-00:55)
It's the boss battle bitches
Bring about your bestest bars 
Let's butt heads in these trenches
Takes alot of time to temper truth and foster friendships
Find  phony fake and fabricated fallacies fermented as fuck
It's the boss battle bitches
Bust a bunch of bars and beats out
Level up the kinships
Cultivate connections
Choosing choices thats the challenge
The titties are the holy grail
I'm tryna lick the chalice

(V2-1:22)
Very Pretty Hitomi
An anime girl dont know me
The final encounter, choose your adventure, and bring ya homie
Perky titties hope she show she me
Feel her fondness for me growin
another round or four and she'll be devourin our bologna
                        
This pack of pickled peter piper poets should prolly pick a proper profession prior to provoking poltergeist ghost pepper nappa possession 



(Bridge-2:17)
Whooooooaaaaa!!!!
Dont you wanna see these cartoon titties
Marry kill or fuuuck?
Dont you wanna feel some kind of loooove?
Dont you wanna see these cartoon titties?
Dont you wanna plaaaay?
Dont you wanna feel some type of way?

(V3-2:44)
Wait 
Wait wait
Wait wait hold up
In a zeptosecond zing a zap of zolt up in my cola
She got rocket ship titties and explosive aerola
I'ma committed calm cool collected  cornucopiopa 
Containing collages of cutscenes 
 A Coitus Casanova
If ya choking ya chicken, churn up a fappiapioca
That's some happy tapioca if ya flickin ya bean
Clickin ya cookie continuosly crackin ya screen
The juxtaposition of judging jabronies is jarring 
  just joshin i'm joking around jerkin muh jollies
Boobies beautiful baby boo 
 all of em are 
Gamification of intimacy?
 competitive forum?
The demons herd the nerds 
And I'm reppin the henchman
Unleash legions of semen 
cmon ladies toss  yo eggs in
Non binaries welcome every preference we can fit in.
And if we ain't seen them titties we'll loop that shit again fam

(Hook-3:12)
It's the boss battle bitches
Bring about yo bestest bars let's butt heads in these trenches
Takes alot of time to temper truth and foster friendships
Find  phony fake and fabricated fallacies fermented as fuck
It's the boss battle bitches
Bust a bunch of bars and beats out
Level up the kinships
Cultivate connections
Choosing choices thats the challenge
The titties are the holy grail
I'm tryna lick the chalice

*metaphorically*

The Southern Demon Nerd [Smokee B, Taco Supreme] - S.K.o.L.

Super Mario Match Maker

Welcome one and all to the mushroom kingdom
Gettin' in mah groove I assume ya thinkin'
it's all PG, keep it honest like Lincoln
But they're tryna keep it hush dude just like Clinton

Baby Mario, Luigi, Baby Daisy, Peach
there's gotta some freakin' going on beneath the sheets
Bowser Jnr, Baby Rosalina, so freaky
women always gettin wet and wild with waluigi

wahhhhhh I'm not a shy guy
maaaan I was surprised to find
Princess Peach is out pimpin' peeps and
Birdo's doin' blowies on the cheep cheep beach

No more Paper Mario now we're usin' rubbers
On Toad's rockin' chode not tryna make mothers
and we're not even gettin' to the milestone yet
Cos your slipslide ride make my dry bones wet

You can pick and choose down at Big Boo's Haunt
the keys are in the bowls and it's on like Kong
There's gonna be jungle hijinxs witcha neighbour
we're making mistakes at mario's match maker

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong


We're down in the basement lookin for DUCKHUNT (da cunt)
We're on an odyssey that's a homer run
If you know your Greek epics that's a sneaky pun
I'm also down here doin' cheeky cums

You know Wario's always playin' by himself
It's a good thing too cos the dude truly smells
Myself man I've got an abundance of wealth
I'll trade you 100 coins n I'll give you one up wahh

I don't want diddy kong baby gimme daddy kong
big balls like tanuki bringin' that daddy dong
whip it down my warp pipe pappa don't fear
I pinkie promise there's no piranha plant here

Treat me like Yoshi I'll be swallowing ya aggs
But once you've finished I'll be packin' my bags
I've gotta leave sweetie, not far to go
it's not you it's a me, Mario!

You can pick and choose down at Big Boo's Haunt
the keys are in the bowls and it's on like Kong
There's gonna be jungle hijinxs witcha neighbour
we're making mistakes at mario's match maker

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Mario Match Maker

Challenge: 
First Person Shooter - End Credits 
Ph'th'kuh's Throat Balm (signing)
The Bear Hammock 29-F (no snares)

heh Fight then
Hell I know you're scared
and I know you don't believe in yourself
But if we don't stand up right here
Then none of it meant anything

It came overnight there was nothing you could have prepared for 
like how would you kill those you care for 
and once you have what is there to be scared for tho

I am not prey they can hunt down 
Moving so long feeling run down 
Gotta find somewhere safe by sundown 
I don’t wanna be there when the horde come round 
and I’m


Lost in the dead of night 
Just Tryna stay alive 
I say we have a chance 
When i know it’s a lie 
These corpses walk beside me
Feels like I’m dead inside 
It cost me everything 
I bet you barely tried 

This can’t be the end I’m all outta options 
I’m down to my last i been here before to be honest too often 
Trust is a thing of the past now all i can count on is losses 
Time just been moving too fast so I’m paying em back when this shot hits 


I could write a book on how to kill a friend and i haven’t slept in days having trouble with my temper 
hit em with a head shot hope you don’t remember 
everything i love now lost in the embers

I will not surrender to my fear 
But i can’t let down my guard they’re always near

This city tried to swallow me whole
And the dead are always calling me home

Never slowing down no rest for the wicked 
Seem at this point i could swear I’m addicted 
This ride go hell and I’m punching some tickets 
I’m sorry you fell I’m not spreading the sickness 


Lost in the dead of night 
Just Tryna stay alive 
I say we have a chance 
When i know it’s a lie 
These corpses walk beside me
Feels like I’m dead inside 
It cost me everything 
I bet you barely tried 

Lost
(we're lost, we're lost, we're lost)
Lost
(we're lost, we're lost, we're lost)
Lost
(we're lost, we're lost, we're lost)
Lost
(we're lost)

No She was already dead
It didn't mean anything
So you're mad that you woke up one day
and life's a war?

Shawn Solo & Lex Lingo [Lex Lingo, Shawn Solo] - Lost

In this game you play the role of a plucky young aquaculture farmer. 
Our journey covers the character creation setup of the piece. 

There's some double-time and what I try to claim is singing vocally throughout the track. 
tanner4105 has provided some smoothed out Donkey Kong Country instrumentals for your ear holes. 

Welcome back (welcome back)
now's your chance (now's your chance)
to heed advice and get you leveled and advance
Yo aquaculture is the name of the game, it's the title you crave
 but another terrible character I might just go insane
but that's OK though, not about erupting like a volcano 
but you never seem to listen and I feel like I've been bitching
And I'm gonna teach you fishing and you can't say no
invading info
innovative intro
incredibly incognito
you'll need your payment info
can’t get that until you grown at least to level 5
can't spare a dime when you login, immediately die
ayo that's wack
why you gotta build your guy like that?
got shrimp and prawns, gotta move along
and darlin that's a fact 


we got that northern, got that whiteleg, giant tiger prawn
sea cucumbers we got numbers and they sing along
you run the fishery
The aquaculture nursery 
you're not taking it seriously
We kinda need your currency friend 


You should think twice about your stats
You took no points in traps
but your sex appeal is maxed
I don't even know what it's even in the game for 
maybe DLC port, mentioned it on G4, 
bundled it with Recore, wasting all this time for
me to make a report, busting up the keyboard
Cause I don't know what you're doing
yo  your whole vibe I'm not fluent
if you're the crustacean student
our reputation is ruined
and I can't handle it, manage it, 
your failures so elaborate 
business plan so immaculate 
your dumbass couldn't handle it
all ya gotta do is click that shrimp
It’ll run that script, it’ll count them chips
you don't gotta use a fist 
wanna give a little kiss
and I got another hint
wanna find out what it is?
Yo you can unlock a lightsaber! 
none greater neighbor, so tell me what to ya think?
maybe one day you can upgrade to a better tank than a sink

we got that northern, got that whiteleg, giant tiger prawn
sea cucumbers we got numbers and they sing along
you run the fishery
The aquaculture nursery 
you're not taking it seriously
We kinda need your currency friend

You gotta click that shrimp
You gotta click that shrimp
Click that shrimp, baby, click that shrimp (x4)

{Important Information Here}

we got that northern, got that whiteleg, giant tiger prawn
sea cucumbers we got numbers and they sing along
you run the fishery
The aquaculture nursery 
you're not taking it seriously
We’ll never get your currency, man

Muscle Laughing Shrimp [Beefy, tanner4105] - Aquaculture

Genre: First Person Shooter
Screen: World Map
Vocalist Resource: Doubletime 
Producer Resource: No snares 

Come on, I never chose to be forced into hope's end
And know there are doors that don't close when they're opened
They're joking. The golden child? Chosen? All lies
I'm not the best with a vest, just the rest ain't alive

If survival was the plan for a draftee in hell
Why'd they slap me with a scattergun and pocket full of shells?
Dumped three hundred others into bellies hella beasts held
Now these motherfuckers wanna tell me they believe?

Well, I'm not even supposed to be here
No dotted line signed, just a life commandeered
By a rifle point, steered to what they called my career
So yeah, I'd met monsters before the "real" ones appeared
Kinda weird how it wasn't these demons I'd feared


GOING THROUGH
HELL AND TOO
NUMB NOW TO
C R Y
GOING THROUGH
MOTIONS
TOO READY TO
D I E


What is it even that's making me try to stay alive at this point? 
In time we all die but life stopped when I allegedly then became "employed"
Now that authority's destroyed but I'm suck in this horrid abyss 
Devoid of a reason to keep on but boredom I guess? Or maybe I'm simply annoyed?

Knee deep in the deadliest voids with enemies coming in infinite waves
Simpler days I'd grown to forget, won't expect a legitimate grave
Surviving for nothing but spite, or something? I might just confess I'm depraved
Enough to make it a game, till ogres and fiends are mistaking my bullets for rain

I mean, it's not like pain affects me after what the government's done
Ripped me out of my home, I never will hold my daughter and son
Beaten down till cold enough that the meat in my ribs came to frost
So we'll see if this hell hath a fury to match but a fraction of rage that I've brought
  

GOING THROUGH
HELL AND TOO
NUMB NOW TO
C R Y
GOING THROUGH
MOTIONS
TOO READY TO
D I E

ExtraDial [Damn Selene, lizardgrove] - slipgayt

Genre: RPG
Screen: The Final Encounter
V Slot: Zolt Energy Serum
P Slot: A Studderbunk Clock

Sound of footsteps 
Desh: Sighs. I was truly hoping I wouldn’t find you here
Ryako: Sinister Laugh. Sorry to disappoint you
Swords drawing

Could’ve sworn that you valued
Creativity
Look we were born into bad news
We ain’t giving these
Thoughts you entertain credence
You hate feeling the
Emotions that come with life
We can't get relief

Stop 
They are not 
All the monsters you perceive 
Constantly
I've only fought
With the hope that you believe

Knocking 
Them down's not an
Option
I hope you can see

Human life is beautiful. So choose peace


We had so much love between us now you'd rather cast 
it all aside
They are not a cancer to this planet they deserve this life you should
Apologize

Why would You would rather decide to end every bit of life existing
Than to make an effort to resolve the people’s problem systems

And Eliminate their need for any power struggles 
don’t just 
kill them


Why did you choose to
Betray us all
We swore to protect them. Now you wanna 
Slay them all
So I gotta 
Get involved
I love you
But protecting life is above you 
So I must
Obey my call
And I pray that
I don’t fall
I don't know why you’d do this
You know Chaos is human

Desh: We were lovers. How could you allow yourself to be consumed by such hate?
Ryako: Hmph

We’ve gotta fight if you insist on wiping our people out
Feel like I’ve been lied to cuz you told me not to even doubt
Human capacity to create communities full of peace and now

You say chaos justifies genocide
Oh no

You're telling me to step aside
won't go

Seeing them filled you with such pride
no hope

Now I guess someone here is gonna die
solo

You recall telling me how you loved the way I swung my blade?
Wonder how you feel about it now I'm bout to run your fade
You’re not leaving me too many options. I don’t want this, bae
But human life is doomed if you got your way


You would swear that order’s been disrupted
And that mass murder only would adjust this
You commit to ending life it thrusts me
Into this position where I must be
Violent for the sake of justice


Why did you choose to
Betray us all
Now you wanna 
Slay them all

I love you
But I must
Obey my call
And I pray that
I don’t fall

Cuz
Chaos is human
Chaos is human
Why would you do this
You won’t get through me

Chaos is human
Chaos is human
Why would you do this
You won’t get through me

Sounds of swords clashing. Feet skidding. Panting.

Swords clang


You recall how it used to be? Cuz I do
We used to protect these lives, or at least try to
I exist to uphold human free will. Unlike you
You're to bring order right back if the chaos rules

For Too long or it causes too many problems
We're here to preserve human life not dissolve it
Your obsession with balance is only gonna cause death
For all of them and for both of us. No it won’t offset

Life simply won’t exist
It’s absurd that you'd rather have emptiness 
in this universe where we both live in bliss
Your determination doesn't make any sense

It's heartbreaking that as we battle I'm having to be forgetting 
All of the love that was keeping us working on this together
Now every bond that we've ever enjoyed is being severed


Why did you choose to
Betray us all
Now you wanna 
Slay them all
I love you
But I must
Obey my call
And I pray that
I don’t fall

Cuz
Chaos is human
Chaos is human
Why would you do this
You won’t get through me

Chaos is human
Chaos is human
Why would you do this
You won’t get through me


Desh: I don’t care what it takes. I’ll stop you. You can’t do this
Ryako: Laughs. Only human.

Deshko [Kadesh Flow, Ryako] - Chaos is Human

Challenges accepted:
Vocals - (double time - Zolt Energy Serum)
Producer - (no snares in the beat - The Bear Hammock 29-F)

Game genre: Dating Sim
Screen: The Final Encounter

V: Oh, here we have it, the final encounter. This is a tough one, to be sure. Many have tried, all have failed so far, but maybe this is the one. 
A: It's a challenge, for sure, but we have a challenger. 
V: Oh, a true player. Let's see how it goes. 
A: Round one. Shoot your shot! 

I'm the final boss of the dating sim.  
There's no way to win, 'cause I can't take a hint. 
You're gonna fail and then you'll wanna play again 
Your loss, take it in, let the games begin.  
I've got all my defenses up, 
all tensed up and my comprehension tends to suck. 
Try to bend your luck with charms and methods of 
seduction, but we all know where you're ending up. 
Zone of friendship? What? No, twit, that's a prize. 
You're going home alone. Big fat surprise. 
Like Macaulay Culkin, without supplies. 
Always sulking, rip out your eyes  
if you don't wanna see the blank stare on my face 
as I dismiss your compliments as having terrible taste. 
I've had my fair share of dates, so I'm set, except 
I only found out in retrospect. (That's what that was?)  
  
V: Oh, you hate to see it, folks. Striking out in the first round. 
A: Well, let's see if there's any bouncing back from this. 
V: It is not looking too good right now, but it ain't over yet. 
A: Round two. Make your move! 

You know you'll be ill at ease, I don't show 
vulnerabilities. You've honed your skills, increased 
your ammo as sociable charmer, 
but cupid's arrows ricochet off my emotional armor. 
And my heart doesn't glow, so it's harder to get to. 
You try to connect, I'm just not gonna let you. 
With all the respect due, every romance Lothario 
measures on a scale from no chance to very low, 
no matter the scenario, even with careful listening, 
say you're getting hot, I'll hit the air conditioning. 
It's not your whispering nor a matter of discipline. 
I simply miss the gist of what it is you're propositioning. 
Not a single inkling. I just stare into space, 
unaware of infatuation you wear on your face. 
I've had my fair share of dates and before I left 
there wasn't one who wasn't bored to death. 

V: Ooooh! That's gotta hurt! Advances went right over the head *and* were countered with absolute tedium. 
A: This is a disaster, folks, and after so many successes. 
V: Well, there is one more round, so maybe not all is lost. 
A: Round three. Date!

I'm like talking to a brick wall, 
mindless conversations. 
A human bottle of rohypnol, 
minus connotations 
When we're walking through a strip mall, 
I'll exhaust your patience. 
What I'm saying's I'm an awful date, 
and you're gonna wanna escape from the jaws of fate 
before it all too late. They're already agape, 
frothing and starting to oscillate. 
Being my lawful mate is not so great, 
like a box of defrosted flakes. 
To get dad jokes like that for the rest of your life 
put me in a dress that is white and address me as wife. 
I've had my fair share of dates on repeat, the same 
every time 'cause no one's beat the game. 

A: Oh no, I think that's game over, folks. 
V: It sure is. The only way to move forward now is to start over from the last checkpoint at the beginning of the encounter. 
A: Press any key before the end of the countdown. 3...2...1...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Beyond Reach

game style: (adult) dating sim
screen: (intro) credit roll
vocalist pick: alliteration
producer pick: no snare


v1.
I gotta harem of hoes
A bevy bodacious babes 'n gentlemen joes
Don't show me no otome game don't want none of those
Gimme equal opportunity where anything goes
(WORK IT OUT)

Expecting triple x from erryone I select
Pitching both teams getcha nipples erect
I be swingin' for the fence gotta it connect
Double menage a trois entendres: comin direct
(SOFT PART NOW)

Fly without a wingman; Imma make an attack
Don't need a cheezy pickup; I'm peepin' GameFAQs
Unlockin' erry endin' when I'm playin' it back
Cuz all my happy endin's endin' up  the sack
(GET HARD)

Horny hoes and honeys gonna show me some love
Waifus, husbandos rub 'em up in the tub
NPCs and randos in the rotary club
I get busy errywhere makin' anyone flood

ch.
Fuck her - suck her - nail her - rail her
Bone her - own her - then select it
Fuck 'em - suck 'em - nail 'em - rail 'em
Bone 'em - own 'em - then reject it
Fuck her - suck her - nail her - rail her
Bone her - own her - then reset it
Fuck 'em - suck 'em - nail 'em - rail 'em
Bone 'em - own 'em - then eject it

v2.
Scummin' all my saves cuz Imma digital slut
Canon hoes an' basic bitches, tellin' 'em what
Takin' advantage of the glitches when I'm givin' em nut
Slavin' hoes like Leia cuz I'm Jabba the Hut
(TAKE IT OFF)

Ichiban no ecchi pervy playin' it out
But that moe shit ain't sexy it ain't what I'm about
Bad bitches gettin' next to me I'm rubbin' one out
Bachelors come and sex me I be makin' em spout
(LUNCH TIME NOW)

Peanut butter gettin' a snack
I be makin' 'em a sandwich when I get in the sack
Unicorns get jelly when I jump on a snatch 
They horny (shwing) so I ride on their backs
(BUCK 'EM OFF)

Pussy poppin' perfectly it's purple n' pressed 
I be pushin' priapisms puttin' family to rest
None are blood related so it isn't incest
So my brothers and my sisters they be gettin' undressed

Unskippable Cut Scene:
MC:
Ah what a find day, for romancin'!
Think I'm gonna hit up the Legion Hall, the Kiwanis Club,
and last but not least, the Rotary Club.

NPC:
Hey Main Character! 

MC: 
Ah! If it isn't my good friend, NPC!

NPC:
What are you going to be up today?

MC: 
Imma go get my fuck on at all of these organizations 
cause that's where the best romancin' is, UGH!

Thot Team Epic [Nursehella, Ultraklystron] - Rotary Club Dating Sim

Coconut Surprise (Slop Slop)

(digging)
Hey Frank! Frank!

What?

Check this out! I found a tape recorder!
Looks like a minute or two of battery left!

Great! We can use it to send out an sos

Welcome to Island Time Live! The number one rated (and only) program on Island TV! Please welcome your host... Mike Bananas!

Hey! Thank you so much! Hey how bout this one Frank. Check out these stretches!
What are you doing...
Pilates of the Carribean!
(Frank) So thirsty... help help!

chilling on the island
feeling like a pirate
cos I think I got scurvy
Haven't eaten in days

Cos coconuts equal diarrhea
And no TP makes a red-raw rear
(Been a year), and a little bit of poo between two good friends

urrgh...

time for a key change more like a seachange
when i do wees out my dick I get pee pains
Went from yellow, to turning red
Speaking of red, I got terribly sunburnt

Coconut solo!

Tree solo!

Crab solo!

Oh no! Frank what did you do to Sebastian?

Ate him.

I bet he was tasty, I feel so hungry.
So hungry... gonna eat Frank

(Frank) wait what?

I said I gotta be Frank I got a back up in my spank bank
300 days since I had a dank wank
And I really need to bust in a coconut
(Frank) Bust in a what?
Don't drink em! slop slop

slip slap gonna whack on a hat
walk down to the waves using hair from my back
to make rope (you've lost it..)
Look an Oasis! I guess today I gotta bring it back to you

(not even how it goes...)

Alright! Well goodnight everyone, hope you enjoyed the show. I know I did. I host the show. Me. Mike Bananas. Every week. So until next week. See you later!  


mike! mike! tell them the coordinates
Oh yea! 
BATTERY DEPLETED

VPC 7 Round 3

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Coconut Surprise (Slop Slop)

Stuck on this island, the trouble just piling 
up and then rising above the horizon. 
Nothing surprising under the bright sun. 
Fuck with poseidon, get struck by the trident! 
Son of the titans. Thunder and lightning. 
The undeniably crummiest timing. 
A couple of hyphens-- 
I suck at describing my struggle in writing. 
I wonder if I might become reunited with dry land, 
or if anyone can even find me where I stand... 
You wouldn't happen to recognize this white sand 
by chance? 'Cause I can't! 
The return address: Desertedness. If this ever surfaces, 
pretty sure I guess you've never heard of this. 
Purposeless! Better start preparing for permanence, 
'cause of the limitations I observe myself working with. 
I wanna leave, but it dawns on me I'll probably rot on this beach. 
If I thought I'd see other people, I'd believe posthumously. 
Ardamus keeps working hard on this beat, 
but I'd find it less awkward if he'd bother talking to me. 
In shock, or just seething 'cause he thinks I caused this debacle? 
Lost in his thoughts while mine get tossed in this bottle? 
Contents long gone, God crossed off of the gospel. 
Just gotta process the awful like hot sauce up a nostril. 
Nature, a hostel as hostile as possible, 
fatally harsh and too far from a hospital. 
Lots of unsolvable problems and obstacles. 
Consciousness distorted as if through a Boss pedal. 
Give me the bronze medal in shit going wrong! 
The minute we've gone, I'll sing the victory song. 
Time ticking along. Trickery! Contradictory! Wrong! 
Shorter hours; seconds getting unpredictably long. 
Don't know what we should do, 
except accept we've stepped into a Kobayashi Maru. 
Colossally screwed across the great blue yonder. 
A quandary we don't have the philosophy to ponder, 
finding the long shot our hearts grew fonder-- 
Better yet, new harbor. Hardly. Too somber? 
Two goners, doomed to wander a handful of square feet, 
lucky if we last a mere week.

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Flaskpost

Ooh, it's a sexy ass beat in the headphones
I was moving my feet even when I was alone,
Now we're close, and you're closing the door
I want more, baby show me what you got

Like a head in the sky, feeling so high,
Now I'm being lain down low, so slow, oh my
So nice, we caress, fingers run across your chest
Running through the little hairs, like a nest, come here...

I get close and I whisper in your ear
All the things you know I wanna hear, and some you don't
I say "Mike, every castle needs a moat", "and you know,
that you're mine, you protect me like the outermost

wall of a keep", "you're the lord to my lady, but baby,
there's something you should know":
They're saying we make fun of rap. They say we're whack.

They say we're whack?

"You're making fun of rap!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"You're rhymes are fuckin whack!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"I wish you'd take it seriously, it's not good, not for me"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT

Ohh, I'm in bed,
tucked up tight for the night, I'm wrecked, all set,
For a helluva snooze, got a flight direct
Down to noddy land, I body slam,
Down on the sheets, so silky soft,  
And I'm lost in the dreams in my head, instead

DING DING on the phone on my nightstand
Right then, message on read
"They're saying we make fun of rap"
"They say we're whack"
Now I'm shell-shocked staring at the text
Hit em with the "new phone, who dis?", Frank says "dude it's,
me" and you know what's next 
We hold each other tight, we cry together 
We try to make it better cos we're so depressed

And the messages are coming in the streams.
Y'all motherfuckers mean.

"You're making fun of rap!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"You're rhymes are fuckin whack!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"I wish you'd take it seriously, it's not good, not for me"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT

When you, go hat shopping you want a hat
So how is that bad? Your feedback is whack
Not my raps, I'm hot and my rapping is sick
Like a dog when its got a paralysis tick

Click click, have you ever ever felt like this
When strange things happen and you're going round the twist? (this is a reference to an australian show you don't know)
A group from Down Under just went over your head (this is a reference to how you didn't get that last reference)

We're under ya bed, like Sulley, 
And we're landing on the Hudson
Guns on my belt, I'm hot and my rapping is sick
You can celebrate this dick

*random hype noises*

Spandex Moose is the best band!
In the VPC, every year!

Spandex Moose are the best rappers!
In history, this is some Wu Tang Shit

Celebrate (Spandex Moose!) come on!


It's the moose, dawg
Number One like Hoops, dawg (this is another funny reference you don't get but it's funny trust me)
Thats the truth, dawg
Two man wrecking crew, dawg
We're just front-page news, dawg
Call us Murdochs

We're from the Antipodese
Yeah antipod-eez nuts

You had garlic? How bout you garlic my butthole

Kings of the mic
And if you don't like it?
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
*mic drop*

VPC7 Round 4

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT (ft. Joey Zed)

30 second intro.
Ardamus: check it check it check it….it goes like this….XOC is in the house….Vincent E.L. they're in the house...Ardamus I'm in the house….Point Seven 5 we're in the house and….(intro fades)


(Intro fades. Then intro of beat drops)
(Banter from Vincent E. L. and XOC? Optional)


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle fo.r the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good




Verses pt. 1
X:-Blessed be my day, cause I finally could say so, 
blessed be my day, I no longer have to lay low,
 blessed be my day cause it’s looking like a new one, 
finally can say I made it out of the confusion
A:Illusion, Enforced vision of course hit em'
core twitchin' rewired my whole support system
Hundid percent, come get me, run efficiently 
sippin' rum, having some epiphanies
V: Just when I think I've forgotten how to write, 
and any other thought is out of sight and inspiration's not about to strike, 
I hear this sound, and it's like I'm surrounded by 
astounding amounts to type and signs that life is finally right. 


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle for the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good


Verses pt. 2
V: It's a new dawn, new day, new life, 
loose ties turn to tight bonds when the glue dries. 
Up ahead, a promise of blue skies, 
as long as I choose wisely as I deduce where the truth lies.  
X:-Vision the imagery, 
talk about the balance and the symmetry,
Witness an existence with a past they planted into me,
Started as a child, when they promptly ran it into me,
You kidding me, left me here with years to fight the misery
A:- Oozin' out my pores, blood and sweat
Held back the tears with enough regrets
I'm slowin' down, speedin' up, the revelation
Happens everytime around the team when we're….

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Still All Good (ft. XOC)

I DON'T GO OUT!
I just stay at home
COS THAT'S WHERE ALL MY SHIT IS (shit is)
so don't hit up my phoooooonnnee

I won't even leave you on read nah
Like I know you're definitely my friend but
I'm gonna do that thing where I flick down the screen
and pretend that I didn't see ya,

but I seent it, Gotta get the mood right
set my smart bulbs to candlelight
whip it out, gonna work on myself
journaling for my mental health

how I feel: good
sense of self: strong
what I want: pud
sexy elf: wrong

therapist asked me to write my thoughts
sitting here in my jimmy jam shorts
Asking what I do when I'm home alone
Motherfucker y'all already know

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY

I DON'T GO OUT!
COS THAT'S WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE ARE (people are)
And I'm in a lockdown zone
So I can't really travel far--BUT

I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em

Spandex Moose onlyfans
Only man's but trust me...
they're good

I'm not alright, I'm not good
Feeling like, I've had too much pud
I'm not alright, I'm not good
Feeling like, I've had too much pud

too much pud? too much pud
too much pud? too much pud
too much pud. too much pud.
too much pud. too much pud.

Hi Mike, it's your therapist. I wanted to talk to you about these journal entries. I'm not sure I really understand what's going on. You keep writing about jimmy jams? Not sure what those are. And why did you write about feet pic--

by the time you hear the next drop
the jam shall be within you.

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

(phone call)

VPC7 Round 5

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - JIMMY JAM

Sorry to bother you. 
I know you've got a lot of stuff on your plate. 
You're brushing up against the date and look at the nothing you've made! 
It's tough to resuscitate your lust to create. You've been crushing it lately, 
but now you're getting crushed under the weight. 
Must be great knowing it's much too late to start. 
A game of art, not for the faint of heart. 
Play your cards, portray this as your "favorite part" 
and maybe they won't pay regard to the quotation marks. 
[Aw, poor baby...] I hear you're supposed to write a letter to yourself. 
I don't envy you, but at least you know you better than anyone else. 
You won't excel with every breath you exhale, 
but never put pencil to paper and you'll definitely fail. 
You're in the belly of the whale. Telling a tale 
you might as well be spelling in braille to an elephant snail. 
That's a hell of a way to tell em you're well on your way to dismount 
the intelligence scale looking delicate, frail and incredibly pale. 
Better get it together, level with Nebuchadnezzar, 
and tell yourself you're better than ever, 
and get the twenty that's left on the dresser. 
A generous treasure for selling a pheasant your feathers. 
An elegant gesture, but can you weather the pressure 
of penning an eloquent letter from behind the delicatessen? 
I don't know what you expect to get for sending a message except 
an exacerbated sense of emptiness. Depressed and upset 
at the sentiment settling in the sediment. 
Is it getting too meta to meditate on the genuine? 
Would you have to explain what every letter meant? 
You're writing to yourself. It's technically self-evident. 
You're reticent, hesitant to express your perspective and 
you've never said anything without any prep and editing. 
You're spending a minute twenty ingeminating the premise when 
you could instead with brevity pretend to be semi-intelligent. 

[Write. You cannot write. 
Write, on time. 
Three days until the deadline, 
still not having written a word? 
Write. You cannot write. 
You cannot...write words. 
Write. You cannot... 
...write on time.]

Dear waste paper basket, this halfwitted draft 
written past the halfway mark's definitely getting trashed, 
pretty fast. It is massively daft. 
Asininity about to hit critical mass. 
When you tell yourself you won't finish the given task, 
you're spitting scientific facts. It's simple math. 
At the risk of getting crass, you and your shitty raps 
are committing acts of lyrical Syrup of Ipecac. 
If they don't skip this track, you're getting ripped in half. 
Like the the napkin you scratch your inscriptions at. 
They will snicker and laugh, tickled pastel pink 
with nipple clamps and compare you to Nickelback. 
A triple pass of rewrites won't fix this gaffe. 
Your talent's as nonexistent as the middle class. 
You need to get off your ass, you haven't achieved a thing 
since bringing your babysitter back from Fribbulus Xax. 
Maybe it's for the best that all you're gonna do 
is send a dorky message to an audience of you. 
It's been a long time since you seemed promising and new. 
You're a disgrace to your name and your mom is gonna sue. 
Are you getting through to yourself or is it in one ear, 
out the other, as you sputter another opinion? 
Weird? Utterly, but it's been done, all you could think of. 
Enough, pencils down, it's time to give up.

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] Emetographia feat. Klopfenpop

Here we go again, baby, the return of the Moose
And we still got the fresh rhymes, the fresh crew
The fresh lines, the fresh two, it's so true
Chasing money and the honeys like I'm Winnie the Pooh

So guess who, call me Cyrus like I'm boarding Con Air
Cos I'm a virus in your system and you better beware
Better prepare, got memes that'll crash your server
You'll be seeing Grumpy Cat cos imma do you a murder

BRIDGE
Still number one, yea we still come first,
Still sick, still wanna know how magnets work
Imma let you finish inna minute word to Kanye
Come on everybody, dicks out for Harambe

CHORUS

Cash us outside, talking to the ladies on the reg
Call us Super Smash Brothers cos we do it togeth
-er, bitches be like Dragonborn, make em shout
Saying Fus Ro Dah when they blowing my candle out

Shrek is love, Shrek is life
You about to get Shrekked when we party tonight
Call me Solid Snake I'm always hiding in boxes
And the ladies be like Gollum, saying "give me the cockses"

BRIDGE
Still number one, yea we still come first,
Still sick, still wanna know how magnets work
Imma let you finish inna minute word to Kanye
Come on everybody, dicks out for Harambe

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Spandex Moose - Virus Video (Edited End)

Walk into the party, bottle of bacardi, and you know your boys on fleek
So sleek, cos I'm wearing Ed Hardy, chinos khaki, wearing a mask for that enhanced mystique
And it's Halloween, so all the costumes are obscene, can't believe what I'm seein in this sexy scene
Not to demean, but these outfits are crazy, someone was a sexy submarine, periscope lacy

A racy magistrate, wig so shapely, coming on to me a little to hastily
Pretty sure that I just got groped by a pastry chef, that was a little unsavoury
This isn't safe for me, I guess my costumes a little too sexy, these people are animals
Actually factual, cos I’m pretty sure I just saw a dude being eaten by cannibals

I look again cos it can’t be true they’re cooking men on the barbecue like Hannibal

I was hoping for a sexy night!
Sexy people giving sexy frights!
I was hoping to have sex tonight!
But these crazy motherfuckers eatin flesh tonight!

I just wanna make a sexy scene!
With sexy you, and sexy me!
But it seems, errybody gone crazy!
Shady motherfuckers in this bitch, good gravy!

I need water but the slaughter that I find got me panicking, I'm fuckin manic, man I'm fucked
What's happening? Everybody's murdering each other, this is utter chaos, what if its the drugs?
I saw them take em, I took a few as well, one or two so I could chill but now I'm stuck in hell
I feel unwell, I bet any minute I'll be breaking into houses with my mouth full of brain cells

Now the walls are crawling and I spilt my drink, my shirt's ruined, I need a minute so I can stop and think
Take a swig, take a swing, get these motherfuckers off me, if there ain’t a fight right now, then there’s gon be
Zombies, chewing at my arms and legs, the undead, crawling over each other just to get on me
I’m strongly against being eaten, beating these monsters off me ain’t the meat I was meaning

Another drink, glug glug, chug-a-lug, and another, but every single sip is getting rougher
I spit it out, cough and splutter and I hear somebody mutter saying "which one of you dickheads even brought this motherfucker.
Throw him out", on the ground, and I'm passing out, to the sound of the pounding in my head
And somehow even with the amount that I drank, come around in my own damn bed

I was hoping for a sexy night!
I got too fucked up, got extra hype!
I took too much drugs, went against advice!
Now I'm lying on my couch wi' electrolytes

I was hoping for a sexy scene!
But the sexy people got extra mean!
And now the doorbell ring, knock knock, its the cops
Mr Danger, how about you come with us

What? What did I do? What are you even talking about?

Sir, multiple witnesses report you assaulting people at a party last night while screaming about...quote "cannibals trying to eat my dick". Was that you?

Uhhhhhhh...

VPC6 Round 2

Spandex Moose - A Sexy Halloween (Good Gravy!)

PLACE YOUR VOTES NOW!
CHALLENGE:
Just like hip hop has its Four Elements, a certain musical festival that is most assuredly not a donut (^_~) has elements of its own.

(Some of) those elements are: chiptune, video game music (VGM), visualism and nerdcore hip hop. This challenge will have teams integrating these elements into one track.

To start off this alignment, we bring you three videos, brought to you by none other than visual artist Pixelseed!

Crave: https://youtu.be/jnDDc_0CvJ4

Droids: https://youtu.be/YKvSww3lEhw

Mosquito: https://youtu.be/ZMfCpci01G4

Your job, as a team, is to pick the video you like the best, and then create the soundtrack to it! 

Seems easy enough, right?

Well, producers, your challenge is to tie in chiptune elements into your song.  You can go as minimal or maximized as you’d like, but the element(s) chosen need to be clear and identifiable.  Oh and if that wasn’t enough, we’re going to need you to build the hook of your track around an arpeggio. You can flex your muscles and write a completely original one yourself, but if that seems like too daunting a task, then you can borrow one – but it must be from a video game.

Vocalists, you’re here to represent nerdcore hip hop at it’s finest.  We want to see you whipping out your finest multisyllabic rhymes – at least 50% – to be precise.   Oh, and we need you to really get your point across by including some fire adlibs. 

So that’s it, really.  Not too bad huh? All you need to do is pay homage to your sister scenes. 

Oh, and don’t stress too much if you’re unable to edit your song to the video you choose, while you’re welcome to do it yourself to achieve perfection, we will also do it on behalf of anyone who isn’t able to.

VPC6 Round 3

Spandex Moose - SCIENCE!

Stand and Deliver
VPC6
Round 4

Stand and deliver, you lyrical knaves and you DAW desperadoes!

The fourth round of the VPC is upon us and the Czarina has decreed that the melee is to commence post haste and without delay! But, the weapons of this melee are being expressly decided upon to limit the savagery and supreme saltiness that could arise from a less honorable contest of verbiage and virtuosity. And the weapons that have been elected to be the tools of this test of talent are - characters from the domain of literature, both classic and modern.

Right, now that we got all of that high brow verbosity out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

Vocalists, you need to bring your baddest, maddest most raddest battle rap / diss tracks, but doing so IN CHARACTER of the character assigned to your teams. I’d spend some time learning the ins and outs of who you’ve been assigned, get to know them well, and become one with them.

The duals!
https://bit.ly/2pX8u1V

Producers, you’ve got a lot of free reign on how you want to design your beats. The only thing that we ask of you is that you incorporate a sample in your song from any form of existing media relating to your book. You can use samples from movies if it’s been made into a movie, audio books, TV shows, theatrical productions, the options are almost endless.

VPC6 Round 4

Spandex Moose - Crack Sherlock (Sherlock Holmes - A Sherlock diss)

[ft. Rappy McRapperson, Ca$sand₹a Mon€t aka Ca$s Mon€¥, Ellen DeGenerate aka Christmas Carol, Climate Change Jeff and Fuck The Whole World Fred]

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Mario Match Maker

NerdcoreVPC