BEST OF THE MOOSE

SPANDEX MOOSE IN THE VPC

There, in the distance! It’s a ship!

What luck! Your message in a bottle paid off. Someone has come to rescue your team from the desert island you’ve spent the last three weeks on. As the ship draws closer, you squint your eyes. Through the glare of the hot sun, you can barely make out a recognizable face on the upper deck, waving excitedly!

Once aboard the ship, comfortably showered, fed, and rested, your team meets up with your rescuers. You’re thrilled to discover that they are also musicians, and the boat contains a mobile recording studio! Filled with feelings of joy and relief, you head below deck to let off some steam and make some celebratory tunes as your team finally head home.

VPC7 Round Four - Get in the Group Chat!

Spandex Moose

VP7 R4: TOP TO BOTTOM

VPC7 ALL TRACKS

Fandom: Lord of the Rings 
Character: Bill the Pony

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY

I started from the bottom then one day four hobbits came
They said let's get poppin' and we went to weather top n hey
I've got a brave heart like William Wallace, honest
But when those wraiths got on us I ran like they were coppers

But then I drank from the well in rivendell
now I'm unbeatable strap on your seat-a-belts
cos i got those buffs like gandalf right after he fell
and I'm oh so furry just like beast and belle

you'll only ever be half of me
they named the prancing pony after me
(that's not canon) mmmm shut up!
I'm the valiant stallion you're as soft as butter

I'm like if rainbow dash n lil sebastian
had a passion for smashin' call me lil lil sebastian
just imagine! i'm magic
I'm such a Star they be callin me Patrick

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY
BILLNBILLNBILLN
YOU FINNA KNOW ME

Let me introduce you to my fellowship it's hella sick
We'll be BFFs forever man we'll never split
Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, damn!
Boromir, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam!

Fording rivers, crossing plains, climbin mountains day on day
Did you think I'm quittin on this mission? Neigh!
We're at the lake, chillin' by the gate
can't get inside , gandalf's in a rage

wha wha wha what's Elvish for friend?
"Mellon" and this is how it ends?
my protestations falling on to hollow ears
man ya'll a bunch of Boromirs!

enjoy your bloody trip to mordor orcs are 
round every corner sorta hope you fall in water
n get slaughtered n quartered cos it gotcha
I'm off ya'll enjoy "THE WATCHER!"


my teas gone cold I'm wonderin why
I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
but I can't see at all
and even if I could it would all be grey
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

Dear mister horses aren't allowed inside the mines
I ate your lembas bread good luck i'm sure you'll be just fine
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it
I was your mane man now you carry the pots and pans you pervert

Frodo don't know you like I know you Sam, no one does!
They don't know what it was like as Shire lower class
Hey Sam I just blazed ya westfarthing! Dare me to ride?
You know that song by Bombadill where nothing happens
and everyones confused, that's kinda how this is
you could've pulled me off the floor
anyway I gotta stop now cos I'm a little horse.

VPC 7 Round 1

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Bill The Pony

Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

Super Mario Match Maker

Welcome one and all to the mushroom kingdom
Gettin' in mah groove I assume ya thinkin'
it's all PG, keep it honest like Lincoln
But they're tryna keep it hush dude just like Clinton

Baby Mario, Luigi, Baby Daisy, Peach
there's gotta some freakin' going on beneath the sheets
Bowser Jnr, Baby Rosalina, so freaky
women always gettin wet and wild with waluigi

wahhhhhh I'm not a shy guy
maaaan I was surprised to find
Princess Peach is out pimpin' peeps and
Birdo's doin' blowies on the cheep cheep beach

No more Paper Mario now we're usin' rubbers
On Toad's rockin' chode not tryna make mothers
and we're not even gettin' to the milestone yet
Cos your slipslide ride make my dry bones wet

You can pick and choose down at Big Boo's Haunt
the keys are in the bowls and it's on like Kong
There's gonna be jungle hijinxs witcha neighbour
we're making mistakes at mario's match maker

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong


We're down in the basement lookin for DUCKHUNT (da cunt)
We're on an odyssey that's a homer run
If you know your Greek epics that's a sneaky pun
I'm also down here doin' cheeky cums

You know Wario's always playin' by himself
It's a good thing too cos the dude truly smells
Myself man I've got an abundance of wealth
I'll trade you 100 coins n I'll give you one up wahh

I don't want diddy kong baby gimme daddy kong
big balls like tanuki bringin' that daddy dong
whip it down my warp pipe pappa don't fear
I pinkie promise there's no piranha plant here

Treat me like Yoshi I'll be swallowing ya aggs
But once you've finished I'll be packin' my bags
I've gotta leave sweetie, not far to go
it's not you it's a me, Mario!

You can pick and choose down at Big Boo's Haunt
the keys are in the bowls and it's on like Kong
There's gonna be jungle hijinxs witcha neighbour
we're making mistakes at mario's match maker

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

Mario might make you moan
Bowser's got a beast below
Peach is playing ping pong
But Donkey Kong's dong
Don't do no wrong

VPC 7 Round 2

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Mario Match Maker

Challenges accepted:
Vocals - (double time - Zolt Energy Serum)
Producer - (no snares in the beat - The Bear Hammock 29-F)

Game genre: Dating Sim
Screen: The Final Encounter

V: Oh, here we have it, the final encounter. This is a tough one, to be sure. Many have tried, all have failed so far, but maybe this is the one. 
A: It's a challenge, for sure, but we have a challenger. 
V: Oh, a true player. Let's see how it goes. 
A: Round one. Shoot your shot! 

I'm the final boss of the dating sim.  
There's no way to win, 'cause I can't take a hint. 
You're gonna fail and then you'll wanna play again 
Your loss, take it in, let the games begin.  
I've got all my defenses up, 
all tensed up and my comprehension tends to suck. 
Try to bend your luck with charms and methods of 
seduction, but we all know where you're ending up. 
Zone of friendship? What? No, twit, that's a prize. 
You're going home alone. Big fat surprise. 
Like Macaulay Culkin, without supplies. 
Always sulking, rip out your eyes  
if you don't wanna see the blank stare on my face 
as I dismiss your compliments as having terrible taste. 
I've had my fair share of dates, so I'm set, except 
I only found out in retrospect. (That's what that was?)  
  
V: Oh, you hate to see it, folks. Striking out in the first round. 
A: Well, let's see if there's any bouncing back from this. 
V: It is not looking too good right now, but it ain't over yet. 
A: Round two. Make your move! 

You know you'll be ill at ease, I don't show 
vulnerabilities. You've honed your skills, increased 
your ammo as sociable charmer, 
but cupid's arrows ricochet off my emotional armor. 
And my heart doesn't glow, so it's harder to get to. 
You try to connect, I'm just not gonna let you. 
With all the respect due, every romance Lothario 
measures on a scale from no chance to very low, 
no matter the scenario, even with careful listening, 
say you're getting hot, I'll hit the air conditioning. 
It's not your whispering nor a matter of discipline. 
I simply miss the gist of what it is you're propositioning. 
Not a single inkling. I just stare into space, 
unaware of infatuation you wear on your face. 
I've had my fair share of dates and before I left 
there wasn't one who wasn't bored to death. 

V: Ooooh! That's gotta hurt! Advances went right over the head *and* were countered with absolute tedium. 
A: This is a disaster, folks, and after so many successes. 
V: Well, there is one more round, so maybe not all is lost. 
A: Round three. Date!

I'm like talking to a brick wall, 
mindless conversations. 
A human bottle of rohypnol, 
minus connotations 
When we're walking through a strip mall, 
I'll exhaust your patience. 
What I'm saying's I'm an awful date, 
and you're gonna wanna escape from the jaws of fate 
before it all too late. They're already agape, 
frothing and starting to oscillate. 
Being my lawful mate is not so great, 
like a box of defrosted flakes. 
To get dad jokes like that for the rest of your life 
put me in a dress that is white and address me as wife. 
I've had my fair share of dates on repeat, the same 
every time 'cause no one's beat the game. 

A: Oh no, I think that's game over, folks. 
V: It sure is. The only way to move forward now is to start over from the last checkpoint at the beginning of the encounter. 
A: Press any key before the end of the countdown. 3...2...1...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Beyond Reach

Coconut Surprise (Slop Slop)

(digging)
Hey Frank! Frank!

What?

Check this out! I found a tape recorder!
Looks like a minute or two of battery left!

Great! We can use it to send out an sos

Welcome to Island Time Live! The number one rated (and only) program on Island TV! Please welcome your host... Mike Bananas!

Hey! Thank you so much! Hey how bout this one Frank. Check out these stretches!
What are you doing...
Pilates of the Carribean!
(Frank) So thirsty... help help!

chilling on the island
feeling like a pirate
cos I think I got scurvy
Haven't eaten in days

Cos coconuts equal diarrhea
And no TP makes a red-raw rear
(Been a year), and a little bit of poo between two good friends

urrgh...

time for a key change more like a seachange
when i do wees out my dick I get pee pains
Went from yellow, to turning red
Speaking of red, I got terribly sunburnt

Coconut solo!

Tree solo!

Crab solo!

Oh no! Frank what did you do to Sebastian?

Ate him.

I bet he was tasty, I feel so hungry.
So hungry... gonna eat Frank

(Frank) wait what?

I said I gotta be Frank I got a back up in my spank bank
300 days since I had a dank wank
And I really need to bust in a coconut
(Frank) Bust in a what?
Don't drink em! slop slop

slip slap gonna whack on a hat
walk down to the waves using hair from my back
to make rope (you've lost it..)
Look an Oasis! I guess today I gotta bring it back to you

(not even how it goes...)

Alright! Well goodnight everyone, hope you enjoyed the show. I know I did. I host the show. Me. Mike Bananas. Every week. So until next week. See you later!  


mike! mike! tell them the coordinates
Oh yea! 
BATTERY DEPLETED

VPC 7 Round 3

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Coconut Surprise (Slop Slop)

Stuck on this island, the trouble just piling 
up and then rising above the horizon. 
Nothing surprising under the bright sun. 
Fuck with poseidon, get struck by the trident! 
Son of the titans. Thunder and lightning. 
The undeniably crummiest timing. 
A couple of hyphens-- 
I suck at describing my struggle in writing. 
I wonder if I might become reunited with dry land, 
or if anyone can even find me where I stand... 
You wouldn't happen to recognize this white sand 
by chance? 'Cause I can't! 
The return address: Desertedness. If this ever surfaces, 
pretty sure I guess you've never heard of this. 
Purposeless! Better start preparing for permanence, 
'cause of the limitations I observe myself working with. 
I wanna leave, but it dawns on me I'll probably rot on this beach. 
If I thought I'd see other people, I'd believe posthumously. 
Ardamus keeps working hard on this beat, 
but I'd find it less awkward if he'd bother talking to me. 
In shock, or just seething 'cause he thinks I caused this debacle? 
Lost in his thoughts while mine get tossed in this bottle? 
Contents long gone, God crossed off of the gospel. 
Just gotta process the awful like hot sauce up a nostril. 
Nature, a hostel as hostile as possible, 
fatally harsh and too far from a hospital. 
Lots of unsolvable problems and obstacles. 
Consciousness distorted as if through a Boss pedal. 
Give me the bronze medal in shit going wrong! 
The minute we've gone, I'll sing the victory song. 
Time ticking along. Trickery! Contradictory! Wrong! 
Shorter hours; seconds getting unpredictably long. 
Don't know what we should do, 
except accept we've stepped into a Kobayashi Maru. 
Colossally screwed across the great blue yonder. 
A quandary we don't have the philosophy to ponder, 
finding the long shot our hearts grew fonder-- 
Better yet, new harbor. Hardly. Too somber? 
Two goners, doomed to wander a handful of square feet, 
lucky if we last a mere week.

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Flaskpost

Fire Sauce (feat. XoC) by Youth Chili Cook Off!

[Verse 1: Sweeney Toad]
We finally out the big house no longer have to sit out
And miss all the delicacies cause we committed felony
Just a little structure fire that Blockbuster found expired
Burned it down cause they were out of Mrs. Doubtfire

[Verse 2: Phlebia]
They told me not to make a scene
It’s not a big deal, I should stay serene 
But I raised my voice started acting mean
Got the manager trying to intervene
So I doused the place with gasoline
I set it ablaze with the nicotine
Flames orange red like tangerine
Charred to black like tourmaline

[Verse 3: XoC]
Me and my buddies coming straight out of the prison system, sorta feeling sad cause I never gotta visit in them, stomach sorta growling, feeling weak and my vision missing, maybe Taco Bell, for them tacos with the chicken in them

[Verse 4: Sweeney Toad]
First things first bet I gotta get me that chalupa     
Substitute the beef for black bean I’m a connoisseur
Of all the finest tastes I partake in the higher costs
Add the guacamole steak and don’t forget the fire sauce

[Verse 5: Phlebia]
Roll up to my hallowed venue
Take a quick peek at the menu
Several dozen cheesy options
Prices low like it’s an auction
Corn and queso  beans and rice
Baja blast don’t forget the ice
Swap beans for beef cause I’m alpha gal
Add cinnamon twists for the grand finale

[Verse 6: XoC]
So I’m standing in line and the menus all digital, stomach steady screaming, hunger pain feeling critical, daydreaming now, gonna eat til I’m really full, later, on the John, imma spray til it’s a shitty bowl

[Verse 7: Sweeney Toad]
Pull out the drive thru and spark up the doja
We about to dine oooo beautiful ambrosia
Taco-itis later I guess that’s the dire cost
I open up the brown bag THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE?!

[Rant 1: Sweeney Toad]
I was sitting in the car and I opened the Taco Bell bag and I was digging through the sauces. Mild, Hot, Diablo, but where the fuck is the fire? They forgot the fucking fire sauce! I just wanted some god damn fire sauce! Why can’t things ever just work out!
Everything I do, it just never works out! 
It’s like nothing ever goes my way and I’m sick of it all!

[Chorus 1: Sweeney Toad]
THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE!
THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE!
THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE!
LET’S BURN THIS TACO BELL DOWN TO THE GROUND!!

[Rant 2: Sweeney Toad]
And I just started getting pissed! And I was so pissed I forgot Phlebia and XoC were there. And Phlebia’s calling my name and I didn’t even hear it. He started screaming: MIKE! MIKE!! And XoC he goes: MIKE! what’s the matter?? And I go: All I want is fire sauce, and they wouldn’t give it to me!
All I wanted was fire sauce, just one fire sauce packet, and they wouldn't give it to me. 
Just one FIRE SAUCE!!

[Chorus 2: Sweeney Toad]
THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE!
THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE!
THEY FORGOT THE FIRE SAUCE!
LET’S BURN THIS TACO BELL DOWN TO THE GROUND!!

[Rant 3: Sweeney Toad]
SO WE SWERVED THE CAR BACK AROUND AND THAT WAS IT! I’M NOT GOING TO DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE! SO WE GRABBED THE GAS CAN OUT THE TRUNK AND WE BURNED THAT GOD DAMN TACO BELL DOWN TO THE MOTHERFUCKING GROUND!! (*Sirens* "PuT YoUr HaNdS Up")

[Verse 8: Phlebia]
The smoke rises, hear the sirens come to get me
Guess I blew my only opportunity to get free
Seems like it’s who I am,  I was born a fire bug
Not a killer, not a thug, not a dealer selling drugs

[Verse 9: Sweeney Toad]
Can’t believe we back, flop house penitentiary
Guess we never learn dropped out elementary
Pyromaniac need to throw out my lighter
Grew up with those GI Joes doused up on fire

[Verse 10: XoC]
Back in this prison, I’ve been given major sentence, 57 years, ima lose my independence, all I want are tacos and chalupas like I mentioned, never thought to break out this jail, but now I’m tempted

VPC7 Round 4

Youth Chili Cook Off! [Sweeney Toad, Phlebia] - Fire Sauce (ft. XoC)

CreateLadyJ
Cam3
Twill
Everyone 


(Hook x2 - Twill Distilled)
Yeah we're here to wreck some shit up baby
Yeah we're gonna to mess it up
Yeah we're here to wreck some shit up baby
Feeling like we're at the top


(Verse 1 - CreateLadyJ)
We wreckin every record
Playing the boards like it’s checkers
Took off like we’re NASA
And everyday getting better
Fans are expanded cross country
You know it’s real
Track and field, running circles on MC’s 
That leave their material
Successfully led a career
And kept it lyrical
You’ll keep it in your soul
For years like negro spirituals 
These punk ass Marks keep
Claiming that they Invincible
"Think!"
Smashing they faces in, literal


(Cam3)
J and Cam on this damn beat
And we can’t be bothered
Light's lime, claiming my time
Maxine Waters
No Cap, got it honest as Steve Rogers
Ain't horsin' around like Bojack
To achieve what we accomplished
Living Our Fantasy
Came in the game as Invaders
Dreams of Nirvana
"Here we are now, entertainers!"
Suffered a Mutiny or two but we
Sailed on without rest
All or Nothing as we proceed to
South by Southwest


(Bridge - ALL)
You cannot stop us
Cuz we will not allow it
And there is nothing
That you can do about it
Basking in the glory
Now the world is ours
So turn the music up louder…


(Hook x2)


(Verse 2 - J)
I go in like Yosemite Sam,
It’s hunting season
Always jumpin in the action
And jam like Liam Nesson
Fuck ya treason, I am geekin
To travel for every reason,
(Cam)
Soon as Wreck hit the stage...
(Both)
NO PEACE, NO SLEEPIN!
Rocking socks and chopping blocks 
Off like lumberjacks
When I’m bored, I'ma roar on these
Hoes like Thundercats
(J)
Y'all waiting on good vibrations
(Cam)
Call us the Rumble Pak
Y’all got hits? No shit, Sherlock
Benedict Cumberbatch
(J)
And you fumbling on the catch
We like Hulk and them on the set
Assembling the Cavalry
Like Avengers, you know what’s next 
Fire bending as I’m spitting
And felt in the solar plexus
While Osiris run the business
We hold down the rest
(Cam)
So count ya blessings
Unless you that pressed on stepping out
Against the badass bastard
Stepkids of Wreck-It Ralph
Stayed woke and chose violence
Ghost riding the mosh pits
Sparta kick your door
What's a gatekeeper to locksmiths?


(Bridge)


(J)
Run with the set!
Or you’ll get wrecked!
Stay on that Wu-Tang shit,
Protect ya neck!


(Verse 3 - J)
We won’t allow,
Anyone in
This crew
That will become 
An imposter
Now
Inner power 
Always take form
When we’ve
Rippin off all our masks
Our true forms


No defending im winning, 
im kickin the ball,
Hit it until i get it in the goal,
Doing my dirt as the newest contender
and the consequences that willin to fall,
Lending the ball is not easy for me,
But I know that im cool
Cuz I do have a team, 
And if i played a fool 
then they'd take it from me, 
Say that i rule then tell me to leave,
My team the only ones 
That’s in my vacancy, 
The Phantom Thieves,
Stealing hearts then we make a scene
Stay on the case
Just like I’m Goro Akechi
Y’all cannot handle the weight it heeds 
Heart won’t manifest
A palace as penalties,
Chasing me really will take all your energy,  
Break your mobility in the facility,
I move around with 
Motherfuckin sonic speed, 


Sit down. Shut up.
We hold the crown cause
We willing to come up, 
Take criticisms like power ups, dumb fucks
And you wonder why ya team is stuck
We muscle the hustle
And take it Bare Knuckle
Then Rage in the Streets
Like Yuzo Koshiro
Y’all losers and zero
We movin like Fearows
Y’all never seen us coming, did you?

Vessels of Light [CreateLadyJ, Cam3] - At The Top (ft. Twill Distilled)

ch.
[Nursehella & Ultraklystron & Beefy]
It's Monopoly but I got property

[Ultraklystron & Beefy]
I gotta space

[Nursehella & Ultraklystron & Beefy]
Gotta place
Got some grass and trees
It's Monopoly but I got property

[Ultraklystron & Beefy]
I gotta space

[Nursehella & Ultraklystron & Beefy]
Gotta place

[Ultraklystron & Beefy]
I gotchu

[Nursehella & Ultraklystron & Beefy]
You got me

v1.
[Nursehella]
It's no Park Place but there's a place to park
I get drunk in the driveway before it gets dark

[Ultraklystron]
Chop wood got the flames a blaze
Creosote log clearin' out chimney ways

[Nursehella]
Imma write on the walls, imma hang on my balls
Imma run around stupid when I stomp down the halls

[Ultraklystron]
I got the taxes filed, discounts piled
Stackin' write offs while the neighbors smile

[Beefy]
got debt, credit card is maxed
Suddenly, who gives a shit bout tax

[Beefy & ultraklystron]
(ME!)

[Beefy]
I'm afraid I'll have to ask you
To run the, washer dryer and the vacuum - I thank you
I don't wanna say that youtube a savior
But on my trimmer I can change the fuel lines and the carburetor now
Put in cameras and a fake sign up for safegaurd
Husqvarna, none other, no shit  this is my yard

v2.
[Beefy]
Used to. Have a. Wooden. Deck in. My back. Yard bitch.
Then I. Tore it. Down with. My bare. Fuckin. Hands. Shit.
Not gonna overcharge me
Nobody stronger than beef
Got sawzaw and I'm cutting it raw and I
Rip it apart now it's so fuckin clean

[Ultraklystron]
I got the saw in the basement 
Branches dunno what they're facin'!

[Nursehella]
I got the heat gun it's blastin'
I fuckin' melted this plastic, PLAOW!

[Ultraklystron]
Grindin' the yard rototiller
Grubs do not it's a killer!

[Nursehella]
We gonna rip up the yard and
Now I be plantin' a garden!

[Ultraklystron]
Been chillin with back hoe, 
I'm like "weeds get out my way!"

[Nursehella]
Been chillin' with a kink hose
Be like "bitch just fuckin' spray," BRRAOW!

[Ultraklystron]
Gettin' equity with amenities
sleepin' restfully
Better credit please, 
payin' flexibly, huh??!

[Nursehella]
On a wifey lifey, 
in a kitchen with a knifey
Do a lil net n' skypey, 
gotta mortgage and it's hyphy!

[Beefy]
With all the debt that we collecting
I'll be honest I be sweating
If we left then I'd be missin
All the freedom I've been getting
But yo frankly I've been freatin
Every other single second
That fate wanna teach a lesson
Chaos wanna catch me slippin ha
I'm only one bad day away
From not being able to play
Aeration was scheduled today
Yes I got hose and I'm makin em spray

outro.
[Ultraklystron]
Who's that yard? Who's it is?

[Nursehella]
I kill all ya dogs who be doin' they biz!

[Ultraklystron]
Three bedrooms and we fill the closets!

[Nursehella]
Draw on every wall, imma fuckin' artist!

[Ultraklystron]
The home office get remote deposits!

[Nursehella]
Watch me work imma caulk these faucets!

[Ultraklystron]
Landscape with Japanese maples, son!

[Nursehella]
Thot Team blast you with a staple gun!

Thot Team Epic [Nursehella, Ultraklystron] - Property (ft. Beefy)

Ooh, it's a sexy ass beat in the headphones
I was moving my feet even when I was alone,
Now we're close, and you're closing the door
I want more, baby show me what you got

Like a head in the sky, feeling so high,
Now I'm being lain down low, so slow, oh my
So nice, we caress, fingers run across your chest
Running through the little hairs, like a nest, come here...

I get close and I whisper in your ear
All the things you know I wanna hear, and some you don't
I say "Mike, every castle needs a moat", "and you know,
that you're mine, you protect me like the outermost

wall of a keep", "you're the lord to my lady, but baby,
there's something you should know":
They're saying we make fun of rap. They say we're whack.

They say we're whack?

"You're making fun of rap!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"You're rhymes are fuckin whack!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"I wish you'd take it seriously, it's not good, not for me"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT

Ohh, I'm in bed,
tucked up tight for the night, I'm wrecked, all set,
For a helluva snooze, got a flight direct
Down to noddy land, I body slam,
Down on the sheets, so silky soft,  
And I'm lost in the dreams in my head, instead

DING DING on the phone on my nightstand
Right then, message on read
"They're saying we make fun of rap"
"They say we're whack"
Now I'm shell-shocked staring at the text
Hit em with the "new phone, who dis?", Frank says "dude it's,
me" and you know what's next 
We hold each other tight, we cry together 
We try to make it better cos we're so depressed

And the messages are coming in the streams.
Y'all motherfuckers mean.

"You're making fun of rap!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"You're rhymes are fuckin whack!"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
"I wish you'd take it seriously, it's not good, not for me"
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT

When you, go hat shopping you want a hat
So how is that bad? Your feedback is whack
Not my raps, I'm hot and my rapping is sick
Like a dog when its got a paralysis tick

Click click, have you ever ever felt like this
When strange things happen and you're going round the twist? (this is a reference to an australian show you don't know)
A group from Down Under just went over your head (this is a reference to how you didn't get that last reference)

We're under ya bed, like Sulley, 
And we're landing on the Hudson
Guns on my belt, I'm hot and my rapping is sick
You can celebrate this dick

*random hype noises*

Spandex Moose is the best band!
In the VPC, every year!

Spandex Moose are the best rappers!
In history, this is some Wu Tang Shit

Celebrate (Spandex Moose!) come on!


It's the moose, dawg
Number One like Hoops, dawg (this is another funny reference you don't get but it's funny trust me)
Thats the truth, dawg
Two man wrecking crew, dawg
We're just front-page news, dawg
Call us Murdochs

We're from the Antipodese
Yeah antipod-eez nuts

You had garlic? How bout you garlic my butthole

Kings of the mic
And if you don't like it?
wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT
*mic drop*

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT (ft. Joey Zed)

[beef]
tanner cook me up a hot one
add a bunch of filters, make me sound like johnny rotten

[tanner]
ADD A FEW GUITARS?

[beef]
well I kinda think we oughta

[tanner]
JUST A COUPLE MINUTES

[beef]
I appreciate ya brother
so the other day we had posted up our tunes
I checked up on the news and I saw a few reviews 

[tanner]
YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T DO IT

[beef]
yea I know it

[tanner]
KINDA STUPID

[beef]
and I tried to just ignore it but I kinda fuckin blew it
but
These people say I'm in a pocket
this a joke about how there's not that many women that would rock it?
cause i'll have you know that there's been women rocking it for years

[tanner]
I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SAYING

[beef]
what they saying?

[tanner]
IT APPEARS THAT
THEY THINK THAT YOU DO THE SAME THING

[beef]
like my raps are all the same?

[tanner]
NOT EXACTLY

[beef]
what they mean?

[tanner]
TO BE HONEST, I DON'T REALLY KNOW

[beef]
they don't like my flow?
like my attitude or how I rock it at a show?
I'll be honest it's shaking me
don't go mocking my bravery, confidence used to saving me
but this isn't so savory
anyway, Tanner, where did you go?

[tanner]
I DON'T KNOW

[beef]
Wormhole?

[tanner]
JUST FIND ME IN THE FUTURE, BRO!

[beef]
Then a being did appear as a vision
she had the look of a scholar, a warrior in position 
then she whispered..

[twill]
Welcome to my dimension Beefy

[beef]
holy shit!

[twill]
Welcome to my world listen up cause i’m talkin
This dimension has everything it’s a knowledge composite
And I can give you the answers you need but you better not drop it

[beef]
Oh no aw shit

[twill]
Wait what’s wrong?

[beef] 
I don’t have enough pockets!

[twill]
I’m not trying to come across out of pocket
But the kids down stairs they think that you’ve lost it
And I’ve got pockets on pockets on pockets on pockets
Of ideas to get you back on the market
Just try it, don't knock it
Cause you’re gonna love it
Just hold on to my every word
Written on this docket
Why do you keep stoppin
I told you to rock it
If you’re hangry then eat a snickers
Or a hot pocket
BITCH

[beef]
Yo what the hell is this
It looks just like my house but everything looks just like shit
Everything smells just like piss

[dark beef]
who's been in my biz
sniffing up all my piss covered shit?

[beef]
Wtf?

[dark beef]
someone wanna come in and knock on throne
could never just leave me alone 
So I throw em a bone like a K9
shook but i stay fly
look like the same guy
i do not know why
maybe im warrior he like the renegade
i cloud be president he could be running mate
feel like I'm being played
should i eliminate
is weird that i kinda wanna penetrate

[beef]
Naw, me too, but here's the the thing dude
 ended up here from a chick with a space tube

[dark beef]
If true, that's bigly news

[beef]
you talk like that  here?

[dark beef]
Yeah you should too
never had fans and I never did shows 
but i think it's because they all envy my flows
i can do anything sound just like anyone
Keith is the best, ichiban, baby number 1

[beef]
K
Got to get back to my home
Gotta get out of this zone
before I go 
I gotta know
why you hostile if we're the same bro?

[dark beef]
Oh
See all those things that you got on your pants
like 2 on the sides and 2 cover the ass

[beef]
you talking bout pockets?

[dark beef]
yeah. we don't got that

[beef]
no pockets? that's nonsense

I’m in my pocket
In my pocket, I’mma rock it yo
I’m in my pocket
In my pocket, I’mma rock it
Here we go
I’m in my pocket
In my pocket, I’mma rock it
There’s no way that I could stop it
I just rock it from my pocket, yo!

Muscle Laughing Shrimp [Beefy, tanner4105] - Pockets (ft. Twill Distilled)

🖥️⌨️👨‍💻💽👩‍💻🖱️💻
KABUTO 🐴
Joey Z 6️⃣🕓
Selene 💋💋💋
Everybody 👪
BEAKER 👩‍💻🖱

[VERSE 1: KABUTO]
AY FAM YOU EVER USED A COMPUTER?
(YEA) (THAT SHITS FROM THE FUTURE)
WINDOWS OR MAC (WORD PROCESSOR)
FIRST PERSON SHOOTER (MUSIC PRODUCER)
LEMME INTRODUCE YA (WHAT IT IS) MEDIA, DATA, MINUTIAE
(COMPUTERS) CAN DO SHIT (LEMME SEE IT)
PARTITION A SECTOR AND IM GONNA BOOT YA
MAYBE LIKE '94 EVEN KABUTO YA DUDE WAS A NATURAL
MILLIE'S MATH HOUSE, MACPAINT
KIDPIX--DITHERED--A BLACK AND WHITE IISI APPLE
(WOOO) (SHIT WAS A CANVAS!)
(BARELY COULD READ) AND YET I COULD MANAGE
YALLS IS WATCHING SOME BARNEY
IM IN THE LAB MAKING MENTAL ADVANCEMENTS

[VERSE 2: JOEY Z]
(SHOUT OUT TO WINDOWS XP) 
(WORD TO MICROSOFT PAINT)
I WAS EDITING SPRITES INTO COMICAL FRAMES 
PRINTING PIXELS TO PAPER
TO TAKE EM TO SCHOOL
SHOWIN PANELS TO CLASSMATES
(WHO THOUGHT IT WAS LAME) DANG
BACK HOME TO THIS DAY LIKE CLICK (CLICK) (CLICK)
SHIFTING WAVEFORMS AROUND (TRYNA MAKE THINGS HIT)
AND I MADE FRIENDS AS WELL
COMPUTERS LET RAPPERS COLLAB FAST AS HELL
LOOK

[VERSE 3: SELENE]
I'M PACKARD BELL HOOKS (WITH THE THREE SHELLS) 
(CAME THROUGH WITH THE ZUGS) POKED OVER FOUR 90 MIL MAXWELLS
(RAM'S WELL PAST SHOOK) (LIKE HALFWAY QUAKE'D)
MAKE MY AUTOEXEC.BATGIRL FACE 
AT CONSTABLE'S GATE, GOT D'SPARIL'S HEART 
WITH APPLIANCES TAKING TO FLIGHT (WHEN THE DARK HITS)
(FLEX LIKE A K56) (SHIT'S EASY)
ROCK A TCP/IP FREELEY. BELIEVE ME.

[CHORUS]
COMPUTERS, MAN, COMPUTERS, MAN
COMPUTERS, MAN, COMPUTERS, MAN
COMPUTERS, MAN, COMPUTERS, MAN
COMPUTERS, MAN (COMPUTERS...DAMN...)
COMPUTERS, DUDE, COMPUTERS, DUDE
COMPUTERS, DUDE, COMPUTERS, DUDE
COMPUTERS, DUDE, COMPUTERS, DUDE
COMPUTERS, DUDE (COMPUTERS, WOOOO
YALL EVER HEARD OF COMPUTERS?!!!
(YEAH I HEARD OF COMPUTERS!!)
YALL NEVER HEARD OF COMPUTERS! I DID!
(WE HEARD THAT SHITS FROM THE FUTURE!!)
YALL EVER HEARD OF COMPUTERS?
(MACHINES THAT NEVER MAKE MISSTEPS!!!!)
YALL EVER HEARD OF A CHIPSET?
(THAT SHITS MAKIN DICKS HARD AND CLITS WET!!!)
I’M NOT SAYING THAT!

[VERSE 4: SELENE]
THIS HETEROPHOBIC POWER USER STAYS
BOTTOMING OUT AT THE TOP OF YOUR BLOCK CHAIN 
(THERE’S ONLY TWO LANES) I’LL TAKE THE MEDIAN AVE 
OF YOUR INFO HI-WAY (WAVING GOODBYE AS YOU CRASH)
OVERRIDE, BRO, I TOLD YOU I’M BAD
TO THE BAREBONES BUILD (ZERO CHILL BEING HAD)
PLUS SKILLED WITH THE CRAFT (LIKE THE WAR OR THE STAR KIND?)
THE ANSWER IS YES, EVEN MORE SO WITH MINE

[VERSE 5: JOEY Z]
FUCK TRYNA DO ANY MENTAL GYMNASTICS OR MATH
(WHY?) GOT COMPUTERS FOR THAT (RIGHT)
YOUR PHONE'S A COMPUTER TOO! (TIGHT)
WHEN THE COMPUTERS WAKE UP WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY GON DO TO YOU
AAAAAAAAAAA
(JOEY Z, CALM DOWN) I AM BEING CALM
(THATS JUST HOW HE SOUNDS)
WHEN IM FUCKING AROUND ON THEM STREAMS TALKING SHIT ON YOUR SONGS
(YOU PROBABLY OUGHTA GET YOUR MOUSE CHECKED OUT)

[VERSE 6: KABUTO]
AND YALL RAPPERS OUGHTA GET YOUR MOUTH CHECKED OUT
WANT SOME RESPECT IN THE NEXT ROUND (I BET)
THEN SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR THE CRAFT
(KABUTO AINT STICKIN HIS NECK OUT) BET
MP3S X'ED OUT (BET) GRAB A WACK DISC AND EJECT OUT
(RAP WITH MY CHEST OUT)
SHOUT TO YOUNG ME ON ASKJEEVES TRYNA SEARCH JANET J WITH HER BREAST OUT
(DONT DO THAT!)

[CHORUS]
COMPUTERS, MAN, COMPUTERS, MAN
COMPUTERS, MAN, COMPUTERS, MAN
COMPUTERS, MAN, COMPUTERS, MAN
COMPUTERS, MAN (COMPUTERS...DAMN...)
COMPUTERS, DUDE, COMPUTERS, DUDE
COMPUTERS, DUDE, COMPUTERS, DUDE
COMPUTERS, DUDE, COMPUTERS, DUDE
COMPUTERS, DUDE (COMPUTERS, WOOOO)
YALL EVER HEARD OF COMPUTERS?!!!
(YEAH I HEARD OF COMPUTERS!!)
YALL NEVER HEARD OF COMPUTERS! I DID!
(WE HEARD THAT SHITS FROM THE FUTURE!!)
YALL EVER HEARD OF COMPUTERS?
(MACHINES THAT NEVER MAKE MISSTEPS!!!!)
YALL EVER HEARD OF A CHIPSET?
(THAT SHITS MAKIN DICKS HARD AND CLITS WET!!!)
(YEAH YALL STILL CANT SAY THAT.)

[BRIDGE]
COMPUTERS

[VERSE 7: SELENE]
LIKE 01000110
(PAYING SOME RESPECTS TO SOME LONG LOST HERO)
EXCEPT BITCOIN’S IN RETROGRADE (SELENE, WHATCHA DOIN?)
HOCKIN NFTS FOR TRACKS BEAKER’S BEEN PRODUCING

Muppet Ronin [Kabuto, Beaker] Yall Ever Heard of Computers (ft. feat Joey Z & Selene)

Desh
Aye
I used to be dismissive
Back when some of the homies would say to me


Aye


Ryako & Selene
Desh, they’re really into you


Desh
I would shrug if off playfully


They would be
Adamant that I commanded attention in any room
Told me that it wasn’t just about the looks
But my energy, that could make plenty swoon


It’s been many moons
Now my whole lane is different and I’m happy to get involved
Feel like Federer or Djokovic cuz after long days of playing 
I’m probably facing Nadal (facing a doll)


Desh and Ryako 
they’re taking it off 
And taking it all


Desh
they’ve been teaching me mad lessons
When they see me and behave like Ash Ketchum
Cuz I act wretched 
Then they're splash fetching


I’m just saying




Ryako
I might look like an angel
But I feel sinner in my soul 
Just a taste of temptation
And you’re losing all control
    




Desh and Ryako
You should go a little harder for me (x4)
You should go Harder 




Selene(4)
From Diamond to Sin, on that Maxis tip
Fixate on the gluteus action
It's a fact that I drip like molasses 
With hypnotic gestures stealing
Your attention with sex appeal


Desh (4)
Baby I trust in myself
Validation, I don’t really need it
‘Less it comes from me and
Knowing the beauty in every double helix
That is making me this


Selene (2)
(Making me this) kind of specimen here breaking even the hearts
That are harder than onlookers watching my parts  


Desh (2) 
Look at me I’m such a work of art
Just be careful, I could steal your heart, babe


Ryako (rapping, 2)  
I’m feelin that confidence run through my veins
Ride em so hard that they’re screamin my name 


Selene (2)
(I mean) Same. Between the frame to kill for
and the fuchsia mane they wouldn’t dare to tame




Ryako
I might look like an angel
But I feel sinner in my soul 
Just a taste of temptation
And you’re losing all control


Desh and Ryako
You should go a little harder for me (x4)


You should go Harder 




Desh (into tempo change 2.5)
I’ve been on my affirmations lately
Big Desh energy. My vibe is amazing
Always been in the pocket, so consider me safe keeps


Selene (2)
Stay helms deep, hon, like catacombs
Ramming at my gate only makes half the battle, though


Ryako (2)


Come with me if you want to live
Like Terminator
Up and down like a fader
Riding on the Helevator


Selene (4)
I know my dress doesn’t have pockets, but I do
And from a Kaiju height I’d let you dive right through
Fine tuned, ready to play with a finger pluck
I feel you noticed I got the temperature high as...


Desh (2)
Hella focused but still might be dipping into thot mode
I agree when you tell me I’m hot though 




Ryako
I might look like an angel
But I feel sinner in my soul 
Just a taste of temptation
And you’re losing all control


Desh and Ryako
You should go a little harder for me (x5)

Deshko [Kadesh Flow, Ryako] - Go Harder (ft. Damn Selene)

My Big Ups Mantra Vs. Battle Scars Lyrics


Hobbes (Verse 1A):

I'm dope - customized an island it still floats/

Hard to cope - for a minute I lost hope/

Now I'm macho man elbow drop off the top rope/

Combinacion cabron while in line at a Costco./


Tia (Verse 1B):
Well, that went smoothly, watched too many Zombie movies
This boat feeling groovy, let me dip in the Jacuzzi
Ride the track like a buoy, I turn over a new leaf
We see the beauty when we cruising, as we’re passing by a nude beach

John (Verse 1C): 

Real sick for awhile, bounced back/

Story ain't over though, time for the soundtrack/

Keep fighting back at 100 miles an hour/

Category 5 hurricane: win-powered


Hobbes (Verse 1D): 

I got soul, determinations colossal

Easing riding down a street full of potholes

Consoles corroding throw it out with the compost

Fresh new system shared to all like a bot post


HOOK

Just Here To Say

Thank You For Being Dope

(Yeah to you in the mirror x2)

My Big Ups Montra Versus Battle Scars


Tia (Verse 2A):
Let it air out, like fly quotes of survival
It’s an elegant signpost, when we sowing our wild oats
It’s a view that’s unrivaled, while we rock the recital
We don’t just ride the wave, we restoring the ‘tidal’


John (Verse 2B):

I feel this peace inside my soul

I think I finally got control

Vibes are flowin like the 

Waterfalls, and love is all I know


Hobbes (Verse 2C): 
I keep it going full steam; on the mic I’m beastie

Beastly with the rhymes;body fools like Beaksley

Been doin this for years haven’t reached my peak, see

The thing about me is I keep believing



Tia (Verse 2D):
No malice present, this vessel of emotion,

But I cannot find a word to say, This feeling of desertion,

I look to the sky, the birds sing and clouds dancing,

The stars aligned together, like a trance of romancing

 

HOOK 


John (Verse 3A):

Alright, let’s show some love…


You’re the voice that can conquer my world, you’re the 

Kiss that can calm all the raging seas of anxieties
Fighting me, silently subsiding these reprising

Dreams… Beautiful, thanks for finding me


Hobbes (Verse 3B)

Get on the stage, can't do it without you

Thank you for being a friend, no doubt crew

And family coming first, nothing but love in the verse

Cruising on this voyage of personal learning


Tia (Verse 3C):
Fortune as it seems, has the sweet taste of fate,

The coin that lands on edge, That presumes to make its date,

There’s a joy in the gift of bliss, a twist of a persistent kiss 
Celebrating tenderness, amidst adventurous interests...


John (Verse 3D):

Everyone listening, whether you’re tired,

Feeling overwhelmed or completely uninspired:

We’ll celebrate together, as the world opens for us.

Love Hacknslash, Prowess, and the boys from Dappersaurus

Dappersaurus - My Big Ups Mantra VS Battle Scars (ft. Johnny Hacknslash & Prowess the Testament)

Verse 1 
Ensign Hall...personal log

Been a 3 month deployment in deep space
And I need some enjoyment at a clean pace 
You know, a bunch of babes and beefcakes
where the beats break so hard it make my feet shake (Risa!)
The works been hard -   guess we did somethin right! 
ready to have fun tonight -  yo Ryako, what’s it like?

It’s like paradise, I swear that it’s nice
And by nice, I mean naughty 
You should take my advice
And go for a visit if you need some action
The holodeck can only give you half the satisfaction
  
Guess you're right, time for the full monty
Allllll night you'll have to pull 'em off me
Whoa, cowboy! You first need a horga'hn
A statue you display if you’re in need of a hard on
Lieutenant! Captain Sparks sure knows how to   pick 'em 
But you clocked me right, ready to lick 'em and stick 'em
Let’s go to Risa, it’s a planet made for pleasure
You can party hard and get it on at your leisure


CHORUS

Shore leave, and we’ve earned it
There’s a statue in my pocket and no phasers in sight
Shore leave, and we’ve earned it
Getting that jamaharon all day and all night
Jamaharon x4



Verse 2

Okay, Ensign Hall! Are you ready for some fun?
You should whip out that horga’hn to attract someone  
Let’s sit by the pool with our statues on display
Relax, I’m sure someone will be on their way 
Oh my god, there’s a hot blonde staring right at me
He’s got blue eyes and he’s 6’3”
Jesus, those abs are hard as a rock
And he’s got big feet, so I bet he’s got a big--- 
Stop...maybe let me at him first
Or you ‘bout to pull rank and live free with yer thirst?
Okay okay, you should do what entice
Plus his homegirl right there is lookin real nice
And they so, so  interested in all the things we like
Like going back to their p  lace to live our best life

Got a penthouse, They’re rich, I assume
Walk through the door
Wait, this doesn’t look like a room!
      
It’s a trap! (wrong fandom) these folks really seemed like the nicest
One thing’s for sure, captain sparks ain’t gonna like this


********
BREAKDOWN
********

Oh It’s all fun until you lose all your gear and get your jewels run

I expected this kind of shit from you ensign
For weeks I could smell the sexual tension; Butthole clenchin
Not to mention; I saw your holodeck logs and damn son
I have no idea where that pornhub holo program even came from

lieutenant ryako, I don’t even know what to say
How you gonna go and lead my bro astray
You shoulda know this shit was mayday
The minute you put that hor gan on display

you knew better, Hall; So Ryako won’t take the whole fall
I could have you out of Star fleet; With one sub space phone call
So you can take some sort of heat too; Wait, too late huh?
Thinking w your cock Got it burnin don’t it? Better call phlox

And then there’s the mugging; you went and got all your gear took?
And when I show this report to the admiral
How you think that’s gonna look?

After this disaster; you’ll both spend the next three cycles scrubbing
plasma reactors
Not to mention the factor; One minor complicator
That we can’t seem to find 
EITHER OF YOUR GOD DAMNED COMMUNICATORS

AND WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR PANTS

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES




FINAL CHORUS

Shore leave, and we’ve earned it
There’s a statue in my pocket and no phasers in sight
Shore leave, and we’ve earned it
Getting that jamaharon all day and all night
Jamaharon x4

[#%^] - Ensign's Holiday (Where the Fuck Are My Pants) (ft. Ryako)

30 second intro.
Ardamus: check it check it check it….it goes like this….XOC is in the house….Vincent E.L. they're in the house...Ardamus I'm in the house….Point Seven 5 we're in the house and….(intro fades)


(Intro fades. Then intro of beat drops)
(Banter from Vincent E. L. and XOC? Optional)


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle fo.r the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good




Verses pt. 1
X:-Blessed be my day, cause I finally could say so, 
blessed be my day, I no longer have to lay low,
 blessed be my day cause it’s looking like a new one, 
finally can say I made it out of the confusion
A:Illusion, Enforced vision of course hit em'
core twitchin' rewired my whole support system
Hundid percent, come get me, run efficiently 
sippin' rum, having some epiphanies
V: Just when I think I've forgotten how to write, 
and any other thought is out of sight and inspiration's not about to strike, 
I hear this sound, and it's like I'm surrounded by 
astounding amounts to type and signs that life is finally right. 


Chorus:
Ardamus: I'm celebratin' elevating other paths
Never settle for the medal when the devil stab a brotha's back
Break the bank, break it down but dont break ya neck
You can take a chill pill still while you take the check 
XOC: -Everything is changing I’m no longer what I thought about, 
steady rearranging, the complaining getting smothered out,
 begging for forgiveness, those are things I do not talk about,
 burying my past, take my future on another route -
Vincent E. L.:I've been depressed of late and estimate 
it's not my last time feeling less than great, 
but as I investigate my mind in its present state, 
I guess you could say it's better than yesterday. Arda, you good? 
A: Damn right, I'm good. Yo XO are you good? 
X: Damn right, I'm good. E. L. are you good?
V: All things considered, I'm good.
All: damn right yo it's still all good


Verses pt. 2
V: It's a new dawn, new day, new life, 
loose ties turn to tight bonds when the glue dries. 
Up ahead, a promise of blue skies, 
as long as I choose wisely as I deduce where the truth lies.  
X:-Vision the imagery, 
talk about the balance and the symmetry,
Witness an existence with a past they planted into me,
Started as a child, when they promptly ran it into me,
You kidding me, left me here with years to fight the misery
A:- Oozin' out my pores, blood and sweat
Held back the tears with enough regrets
I'm slowin' down, speedin' up, the revelation
Happens everytime around the team when we're….

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Still All Good (ft. XOC)

I DON'T GO OUT!
I just stay at home
COS THAT'S WHERE ALL MY SHIT IS (shit is)
so don't hit up my phoooooonnnee

I won't even leave you on read nah
Like I know you're definitely my friend but
I'm gonna do that thing where I flick down the screen
and pretend that I didn't see ya,

but I seent it, Gotta get the mood right
set my smart bulbs to candlelight
whip it out, gonna work on myself
journaling for my mental health

how I feel: good
sense of self: strong
what I want: pud
sexy elf: wrong

therapist asked me to write my thoughts
sitting here in my jimmy jam shorts
Asking what I do when I'm home alone
Motherfucker y'all already know

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY

I DON'T GO OUT!
COS THAT'S WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE ARE (people are)
And I'm in a lockdown zone
So I can't really travel far--BUT

I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em
I got feet pics if you want 'em

Spandex Moose onlyfans
Only man's but trust me...
they're good

I'm not alright, I'm not good
Feeling like, I've had too much pud
I'm not alright, I'm not good
Feeling like, I've had too much pud

too much pud? too much pud
too much pud? too much pud
too much pud. too much pud.
too much pud. too much pud.

Hi Mike, it's your therapist. I wanted to talk to you about these journal entries. I'm not sure I really understand what's going on. You keep writing about jimmy jams? Not sure what those are. And why did you write about feet pic--

by the time you hear the next drop
the jam shall be within you.

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
I JIMMY JAM WITH MY JIMMY JAM SHORTS ON
JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY JIMMY JAMMY
SHORTS ON!

(phone call)

VPC7 Round 5

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - JIMMY JAM

Sorry to bother you. 
I know you've got a lot of stuff on your plate. 
You're brushing up against the date and look at the nothing you've made! 
It's tough to resuscitate your lust to create. You've been crushing it lately, 
but now you're getting crushed under the weight. 
Must be great knowing it's much too late to start. 
A game of art, not for the faint of heart. 
Play your cards, portray this as your "favorite part" 
and maybe they won't pay regard to the quotation marks. 
[Aw, poor baby...] I hear you're supposed to write a letter to yourself. 
I don't envy you, but at least you know you better than anyone else. 
You won't excel with every breath you exhale, 
but never put pencil to paper and you'll definitely fail. 
You're in the belly of the whale. Telling a tale 
you might as well be spelling in braille to an elephant snail. 
That's a hell of a way to tell em you're well on your way to dismount 
the intelligence scale looking delicate, frail and incredibly pale. 
Better get it together, level with Nebuchadnezzar, 
and tell yourself you're better than ever, 
and get the twenty that's left on the dresser. 
A generous treasure for selling a pheasant your feathers. 
An elegant gesture, but can you weather the pressure 
of penning an eloquent letter from behind the delicatessen? 
I don't know what you expect to get for sending a message except 
an exacerbated sense of emptiness. Depressed and upset 
at the sentiment settling in the sediment. 
Is it getting too meta to meditate on the genuine? 
Would you have to explain what every letter meant? 
You're writing to yourself. It's technically self-evident. 
You're reticent, hesitant to express your perspective and 
you've never said anything without any prep and editing. 
You're spending a minute twenty ingeminating the premise when 
you could instead with brevity pretend to be semi-intelligent. 

[Write. You cannot write. 
Write, on time. 
Three days until the deadline, 
still not having written a word? 
Write. You cannot write. 
You cannot...write words. 
Write. You cannot... 
...write on time.]

Dear waste paper basket, this halfwitted draft 
written past the halfway mark's definitely getting trashed, 
pretty fast. It is massively daft. 
Asininity about to hit critical mass. 
When you tell yourself you won't finish the given task, 
you're spitting scientific facts. It's simple math. 
At the risk of getting crass, you and your shitty raps 
are committing acts of lyrical Syrup of Ipecac. 
If they don't skip this track, you're getting ripped in half. 
Like the the napkin you scratch your inscriptions at. 
They will snicker and laugh, tickled pastel pink 
with nipple clamps and compare you to Nickelback. 
A triple pass of rewrites won't fix this gaffe. 
Your talent's as nonexistent as the middle class. 
You need to get off your ass, you haven't achieved a thing 
since bringing your babysitter back from Fribbulus Xax. 
Maybe it's for the best that all you're gonna do 
is send a dorky message to an audience of you. 
It's been a long time since you seemed promising and new. 
You're a disgrace to your name and your mom is gonna sue. 
Are you getting through to yourself or is it in one ear, 
out the other, as you sputter another opinion? 
Weird? Utterly, but it's been done, all you could think of. 
Enough, pencils down, it's time to give up.

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] Emetographia feat. Klopfenpop

Here we go again, baby, the return of the Moose
And we still got the fresh rhymes, the fresh crew
The fresh lines, the fresh two, it's so true
Chasing money and the honeys like I'm Winnie the Pooh

So guess who, call me Cyrus like I'm boarding Con Air
Cos I'm a virus in your system and you better beware
Better prepare, got memes that'll crash your server
You'll be seeing Grumpy Cat cos imma do you a murder

BRIDGE
Still number one, yea we still come first,
Still sick, still wanna know how magnets work
Imma let you finish inna minute word to Kanye
Come on everybody, dicks out for Harambe

CHORUS

Cash us outside, talking to the ladies on the reg
Call us Super Smash Brothers cos we do it togeth
-er, bitches be like Dragonborn, make em shout
Saying Fus Ro Dah when they blowing my candle out

Shrek is love, Shrek is life
You about to get Shrekked when we party tonight
Call me Solid Snake I'm always hiding in boxes
And the ladies be like Gollum, saying "give me the cockses"

BRIDGE
Still number one, yea we still come first,
Still sick, still wanna know how magnets work
Imma let you finish inna minute word to Kanye
Come on everybody, dicks out for Harambe

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Spandex Moose - Virus Video (Edited End)

Walk into the party, bottle of bacardi, and you know your boys on fleek
So sleek, cos I'm wearing Ed Hardy, chinos khaki, wearing a mask for that enhanced mystique
And it's Halloween, so all the costumes are obscene, can't believe what I'm seein in this sexy scene
Not to demean, but these outfits are crazy, someone was a sexy submarine, periscope lacy

A racy magistrate, wig so shapely, coming on to me a little to hastily
Pretty sure that I just got groped by a pastry chef, that was a little unsavoury
This isn't safe for me, I guess my costumes a little too sexy, these people are animals
Actually factual, cos I’m pretty sure I just saw a dude being eaten by cannibals

I look again cos it can’t be true they’re cooking men on the barbecue like Hannibal

I was hoping for a sexy night!
Sexy people giving sexy frights!
I was hoping to have sex tonight!
But these crazy motherfuckers eatin flesh tonight!

I just wanna make a sexy scene!
With sexy you, and sexy me!
But it seems, errybody gone crazy!
Shady motherfuckers in this bitch, good gravy!

I need water but the slaughter that I find got me panicking, I'm fuckin manic, man I'm fucked
What's happening? Everybody's murdering each other, this is utter chaos, what if its the drugs?
I saw them take em, I took a few as well, one or two so I could chill but now I'm stuck in hell
I feel unwell, I bet any minute I'll be breaking into houses with my mouth full of brain cells

Now the walls are crawling and I spilt my drink, my shirt's ruined, I need a minute so I can stop and think
Take a swig, take a swing, get these motherfuckers off me, if there ain’t a fight right now, then there’s gon be
Zombies, chewing at my arms and legs, the undead, crawling over each other just to get on me
I’m strongly against being eaten, beating these monsters off me ain’t the meat I was meaning

Another drink, glug glug, chug-a-lug, and another, but every single sip is getting rougher
I spit it out, cough and splutter and I hear somebody mutter saying "which one of you dickheads even brought this motherfucker.
Throw him out", on the ground, and I'm passing out, to the sound of the pounding in my head
And somehow even with the amount that I drank, come around in my own damn bed

I was hoping for a sexy night!
I got too fucked up, got extra hype!
I took too much drugs, went against advice!
Now I'm lying on my couch wi' electrolytes

I was hoping for a sexy scene!
But the sexy people got extra mean!
And now the doorbell ring, knock knock, its the cops
Mr Danger, how about you come with us

What? What did I do? What are you even talking about?

Sir, multiple witnesses report you assaulting people at a party last night while screaming about...quote "cannibals trying to eat my dick". Was that you?

Uhhhhhhh...

VPC6 Round 2

Spandex Moose - A Sexy Halloween (Good Gravy!)

PLACE YOUR VOTES NOW!
CHALLENGE:
Just like hip hop has its Four Elements, a certain musical festival that is most assuredly not a donut (^_~) has elements of its own.

(Some of) those elements are: chiptune, video game music (VGM), visualism and nerdcore hip hop. This challenge will have teams integrating these elements into one track.

To start off this alignment, we bring you three videos, brought to you by none other than visual artist Pixelseed!

Crave: https://youtu.be/jnDDc_0CvJ4

Droids: https://youtu.be/YKvSww3lEhw

Mosquito: https://youtu.be/ZMfCpci01G4

Your job, as a team, is to pick the video you like the best, and then create the soundtrack to it! 

Seems easy enough, right?

Well, producers, your challenge is to tie in chiptune elements into your song.  You can go as minimal or maximized as you’d like, but the element(s) chosen need to be clear and identifiable.  Oh and if that wasn’t enough, we’re going to need you to build the hook of your track around an arpeggio. You can flex your muscles and write a completely original one yourself, but if that seems like too daunting a task, then you can borrow one – but it must be from a video game.

Vocalists, you’re here to represent nerdcore hip hop at it’s finest.  We want to see you whipping out your finest multisyllabic rhymes – at least 50% – to be precise.   Oh, and we need you to really get your point across by including some fire adlibs. 

So that’s it, really.  Not too bad huh? All you need to do is pay homage to your sister scenes. 

Oh, and don’t stress too much if you’re unable to edit your song to the video you choose, while you’re welcome to do it yourself to achieve perfection, we will also do it on behalf of anyone who isn’t able to.

VPC6 Round 3

Spandex Moose - SCIENCE!

Stand and Deliver
VPC6
Round 4

Stand and deliver, you lyrical knaves and you DAW desperadoes!

The fourth round of the VPC is upon us and the Czarina has decreed that the melee is to commence post haste and without delay! But, the weapons of this melee are being expressly decided upon to limit the savagery and supreme saltiness that could arise from a less honorable contest of verbiage and virtuosity. And the weapons that have been elected to be the tools of this test of talent are - characters from the domain of literature, both classic and modern.

Right, now that we got all of that high brow verbosity out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

Vocalists, you need to bring your baddest, maddest most raddest battle rap / diss tracks, but doing so IN CHARACTER of the character assigned to your teams. I’d spend some time learning the ins and outs of who you’ve been assigned, get to know them well, and become one with them.

The duals!
https://bit.ly/2pX8u1V

Producers, you’ve got a lot of free reign on how you want to design your beats. The only thing that we ask of you is that you incorporate a sample in your song from any form of existing media relating to your book. You can use samples from movies if it’s been made into a movie, audio books, TV shows, theatrical productions, the options are almost endless.

VPC6 Round 4

Spandex Moose - Crack Sherlock (Sherlock Holmes - A Sherlock diss)

[ft. Rappy McRapperson, Ca$sand₹a Mon€t aka Ca$s Mon€¥, Ellen DeGenerate aka Christmas Carol, Climate Change Jeff and Fuck The Whole World Fred]

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - wHy dOn'T yOu cRy aBoUt iT (ft. Joey Zed)

NerdcoreVPC