black ops

when i die bury me at the emo gazebo

at home
in my room
looking at nothing

at home
I have a gun
and weird thoughts

at home
the walls 
painted red 

in public 
body on the floor 
I smile

at home

TechClub Comp Vol. 3
8/24/24

These boring ass nights 
Makes my chest feel tight
I'm wasting my prime
and I'm so far behind 
I remember those nights only filled w dread
Now i cut myself just to bleed on my bed 

It's hard to say
It all plays the same
Can't remember 
Turning out this way
I don't want your help
I'll just save myself 
Stuck in my chair
Burning time to play
A fluoride mind
Misguide by incels online 

So bored out my mind, it's like i don't have a life
Shitty ass games and a half baked mind
Can't even lie, I'm not having fun at all
Playing shitty songs and suicide in Fall 

I hate to say that I'm not doing alright 
These stupid emotions only waste my time
My head has a help wanted sign 
Fixing my life and i still wanna die
I'm not gonna try I'm just gonna cry 

My life's set back
My heart's turned black
Life never begun
I'm fukin done 
I started too late
I can't escape this fate 

Just take me back
My minds all wack
I'm filled w spite
Just get me right

SOFT LOCKED

Everything feels wrong
Everything feels numb

I can’t get it to stop
I can’t get it to stop
It all feels wrong

Everything feels wrong
Everything feels numb

I can’t get it to stop
I can’t get it to stop
It all feels wrong

it all feels wrong

these sick ideas i got on the radio
i called the doctor and he gave me oxyco-
i dont wanna i dont wanna know
i dont wanna i dont wanna know

i said oh baby dont u think im a pretty doll
just spill my guts out while im chained against the wall
i dont wanna i dont wanna know
i dont wanna i dont wanna know

so pretty i feel so good im losin all control
take my limbs and cut incisions in my skull
then stab my skin and fuck me in the hole
just cut me up and fuck me in the holes

sprite.mp3

Rape You

Who will be there at my funeral dancing
Who will be stealing my cake
Change with the best of them without my getup
I'm not an angry body

I'm just so sick of it

I'm sick of losing my head at the table
I'm sick of thinking of it
Change watches me
Change watches empties
I'm not an angry body

You're in red land
You're in pain
(I've been away for too long without red land
I'm not an angry body)

Time

Ruby Gloom (Alternate Theme Cover)

Guess I really freaked you out 
Guess I really am that creepy
By putting words in your mouth 
Hoping it would make you like me
Didn’t think you’d ever notice
Didn’t think that you cared
Now I see it’s my fault for all of this
Thinking I’m the one who should be scared

Thought this whole time you had your eyes closed
But it was me who was going blind
Feelings have been juxtaposed 
Ever since I fell out of line
Cuz you don’t like it when I crash out
Maybe it’s giving you the ick 
I know exactly what you’re thinking about
That I will never be fixed 

How did I never realize I was scary
Too scary
Thought I was only pathetic and you wanted to laugh at me
Laugh at me

Whoops there I go again
Thinking I know what’s in your head
But you know it’s really over when
I finally apologize for what I said
I don’t know what’s gonna happen 
After all of this comes out
It’s probably worse than I imagine 
Getting rid of comfortable doubt

Now I see this whole mess was my fault
My fault
And after this we’ll probably never get to talk
Get to talk

Stuck here I don’t know what to think
Now I know we’ll never be in sync
It’ll be like this for the rest of our lives
I know I’ll never get it right
Where did all of this go so wrong 
Was it when I wrote those pathetic songs
I should have thought about my words
Before I said something so absurd

Comfortable Doubt

Who Said You Can Touch Me

Living in Total squalor
Every day is painful
And my sanity is slipping away
Laundry is piling up
Trash bags are filling up
And my mind is never ever at peace

Gotta be gaming all night and day
Till I top frag the server I will play
Caffed up and alert with nicotine
Lock my door because I can't be seen

Ignore reality away
Gaming all day every day
Its time to play again its time to forget
XP bar is so looking full
Top frag on the scoreboard
Get called a virgin no life hacker again

Maybe I'll start with some chores
But soon enough my brain gets bored
It screams for happy chems to me
An eternal slave to the industry

Time

Not The Proper Attire