genuinely been waiting for this 1, much luv

I don’t know if I can keep this “Charade Called Breathing” up…

@pekarot

i've got a wound on my chest
talk to me soon before theres nothing left
i promise that ill be gone soon
dont come stay in my bed
you talk for hours and i live with dread
you know what ur supposed to do, 
i dont want you close to me
gripping your fucking heart all that is meant be

eyes so pretty i need them right next to me
cant believe i said that omg admit defeat
question why i'm leaving and i dont post you on my feed
you dont either i wish that u did for me
pull on that lever, open up the gin bottle
let it go let ur legs wobble,
let your head go to the rubble,
let ur neck go ima struggle
let your chest go till he go home
if you talk to him hes trouble
if you love youd swallow my heart 
 
yeah

i've got a wound on my chest
talk to me soon before theres nothing left
i promise that ill be gone soon
dont come stay in my bed
you talk for hours and i live with dread
you know what ur supposed to do, 
i dont want you close to me
gripping your fucking heart all that is meant be

wound

co produced w @speedlmt

lyric

i don't wanna die but i don't wanna try
when your not here w me i get a teary eye
my dreams are lucid, they gonna get you 
how can i prove it, that your the issue 

i got these tissues, oh fuck i miss u
will you be here soon so i can kiss u
i can't stop shaking im forever breaking
i know you like that, its never changing::(

decomposing in the mirror posing 
spooky black my father:3 stop diagnosing 
why do i bother, im controlling, im the victim. forever rolling;

a sob sandwich its kinda adequate
let me swallow it, these my bandages
songs just foru cos i said it is !
of grams not sedatives, dont know what day it is:(
pop another sedative?

i got these tissues, oh fuck i miss u
will you be here soon so i can kiss u
i can't stop shaking im forever breaking
i know you like that, its never changing::(

I DON'T WANNA DIE BUT I DON'T WANNA TRY
WHEN YOUR NOT HERE W ME I GET A TEARY EYE
MY DREAMS ARE LUCID, THEY GONNA GET YOU 
HOW CAN I PROVE IT, THAT YOUR THE ISSUE 
I GOT THESE TISSUES, OH FUCK I MISS U
WILL YOU BE HERE SOON SO I CAN KISS U
I CAN'T STOP SHAKING IM FOREVER BREAKING
I KNOW YOU LIKE THAT, ITS NEVER CHANGING

pine

produced by neverforever

completely non profit 

lyrics

Where u been now
Where u been
Its almost been a week now 
And i havent seen u since
I wanted us to stay friends 
But that isnt how it is
I know it gets stressful
Sticking next to me
All the stress on my mental
It stains all the sheets
So i sway to this tempo
As she falls asleep
In his arms
In their apartment
Life gets hard
But i knew that from the start 

Think i aged like 20 years in a few days
I saw the message of the gods burned in my brain
I found the fight inside my soul n now i spit flame
If anything i learned i got a cruel fate
Suns blocked so i start booting up
I break down my body i dont give a fuck
Bitch im going hard until my time is up
I need the cruelest woman to make me give a fuck

i want u to fuck me up
why is that never enough
looking at me with the eyes of an angel
i think that we're both falling out
how does this come about

she just falls asleep
in her lovers arms
when life gets hard
we fill our lungs with tar

i think i aged like 20 years in a few days
i saw the message of the gods and its burned into my brain 
if anything i got a cruel fate



-1 (neverforever)

chapter i

produced by ztope
completely non profit

lyrics

filtered beams of moonlight 
passing thru the ice above
i cannot bear to take my eyes 
off of my drowning love
why she had to follow me
why she had to jump
shes drowning in this lake
man cold water makes u numb

makes u numb
hit my head on rocks below
blood
blood fills the water oh my god
god cannot save us
oh we're fucked
fucked
sleeping on this bed of rocks
shadows of the trees
they dance on ice thats 3, 4 inches thick
is that lantern light
i ask her body what the fuck she thinks
this our savior 
and i hope he drags us up or else we'll sink
please just save her
i do not care if im on the brink

filtered beams of moonlight 
passing thru the ice above
i cannot bear to take my eyes
off of my drowning love
why she had to follow me
why she had to jump
shes drowning in this lake
man cold water makes u numb

it makes u drown

drowning at the bottom of a frozen lake (ztope)

prod. @pekarot_161

[casperrr]
nobody will love you as i do did
seeing u with some1 else makes me sick 
i wish u the best, but i feel like shit
hope u succeed in life while i can't even live 

(chorus) [casperrr]
on the ground i'm laying~
oh my heart is aching
all my bones are breaking
i only succeed in failing
all the songs i've been making~
they show what pain is

[casperrr & autumn]
ooh~

[autumn]
and they say i'll never change
just put that on my grave
not tryna resist this, but it's on my name
just calm down
you're aware of the wrongs that you did
so just let them run out
just not right now
just twist what you want, up until you fall down
i'm losing my hair
trying not to be scared
it took so much time to get where i am here
my knees to the ground
as well as my pride
the ones that i've hurt aren't good at goodbyes

so i stay inside
cause this home knows i
accepted what i've done
just not to that extent
oh how i was stunned from 
all of it

(chorus) [casperrr & autumn]
on the ground i'm laying~
oh my heart is aching
all my bones are breaking
i only succeed in failing
all the songs i've been making~
they show what pain is

casperrr x autumndropsdead - succeed in failing (pekarot)

if this is how it ends
then we don't need to talk
and i don't need to hear
it's never what it was 
when all of this is over
and all of this is gone
you will still remain
inside the afterthought

whatever you say i do
know that you've been changing i'm changing too
but i can feel it against my throat
but i've been ok alone
first time was the best time, was the last time 
did you know that?
held open like it's so bad
try to slow down just can't

and she gets mad again
and i just call it in
like what's the problem?
i'm just like all of it
and i get mad again
but i don't deal with it
blowing smoke on the ceiling

better yet i couldn't lie to you
there's not something else that i gotta do
i'm uncomfortable and i couldn't move
but i feel this bed isn't cold enough when it's just me
i found a way out the dark but it's harder to start
when i just couldn't trust me

if this is how it ends
then we don't need to talk
and i don't need to hear
it's never what it was 
when all of this is over
and all of this is gone
you will still remain
inside the afterthought

feels a little late to be checking in
i've been checking out and i'm sick of it
and i've been sick of me and i've been sick of you
and every single thing that i couldn't do
straight out the darkness it reminds of 
of the footsteps, they're two sizes 
and you noticed and i broke down
left as soon as it's cold out

something else that we could counteract
disappear but i've been cool with that 
disappear yeah i've been cool with that

stuff to say you could have said before
i don't see a thing worth staying for 
i don't see a thing worth staying for 

and she gets mad again
and i just call it in
like what's the problem?
i'm just like all of it
and i get mad again
but i don't deal with it
blowing smoke on the ceiling

Remnants

mountain warehouse

produced by triple gemini (soundcloud.com/trplgmni)

something else left to say here
i don't know what
everyday left to change pace in the dark
holding out for the first time that we go back straight through
the streetlights from the backseat of the car
and i'm deeper again
i pour it straight and its days gone
you couldn't notice and then (couldn't notice again)
i think i'm losing myself (think i'm losing myself)
and i don't know how to tell you when its over
could you hide it from the start?

you don't even speak like you know me
straight laying down what you taking out of me slowly
first time on the first night, you're my only
but its so dark, but its so cold
but its lonely

do you think its the same thing
or you think that its gone?
cause its only worth saving
if its you that i've got
and i know that the waiting
gets inside of your thoughts
and the time that its taking
makes it feel like its wrong

thought that we'd do it again on the same street
making nightmares out of daydreams
june as cold as my face feels
but its easier when you hate me
i just always thought it was safe here

and i don't know how to tell you when its over
could you hide it from the start?

tell me again how it gets in your head
i'm just leaving its better this way
i'm just a second away
i'm just a second away
what would you call that?

read through the texts, do you wonder instead
why i'm making it easy again?
i'm just a second away
saw how it ends when you stay
and i wish we could fall back

you don't even speak like you know me
straight laying down what you taking out of me slowly
first time on the first night, you're my only
but its so dark, but its so cold
but its lonely

Somewhere Else (prod. triple gemini)

when the grub in the mud loses grip, will it beg to be dug up?
coreless, they deject.
"let it writhe 'till it's gone," nothing less.

choking up on my tears
it's not very kind here
patience wouldn't make it, so i guess i'm living lightyears
nature couldn't shake the foreign waste and counterweight of tainted goods
haven wallowed in a rain of thought,
have i become a flood?

it's not terrifying if struck by the lightning 'fore you should come to hear it
i'm cowering, yet fearless
prone to eject, so what should i expect if they follow me back one day?

who'd know i wasn't here?
for the sake of appeal, cover up any scent that should emit from the kiln
cut the burden in twine, make a lavender pie
though may it taste of refinement, you are eating my life

when i don't wanna feel, it make me feel some more
quiet mind is bloodshot, figures striking horror
try you may to heal, though should it turn to gore
it's futile to recall of what is all that i deplore

choking up on my tears
it's not very kind here
patience wouldn't make it, so i guess i'm living lightyears
nature couldn't shake the foreign waste and counterweight of tainted goods
haven wallowed in a rain of thought,
have i become a flood?

it's raining, it's pouring
importance is snoring
so write me a story of you, and i
where this evisceration replies with elation
and guts every morsel of spite

(why do i try)

the flood

fading out the memories
im writing my own melodies
i cut down too deep and now im draining out my energy 

a piece of me is broken
you cant fix it 
leave it open

i’m a wound
i’m fucking hopeless
i’m so rude but they don’t notice

i just wanna die at the right time
need to come up with a good lie

doing anything to ruin my life
maybe i should just do it tonight

maybe i can’t finish the fight
scratch and bite cus i dont mind
recklessly control my life

i just wanna feel
something not painful 
but it all feels the same
carve it out until it feels numb
am i insane

can't fix it [hero]

Huge shout out to my brother @halfhearted for his verse.

If you enjoyed listening, we would appreciate any support on the song, thank you all :)

**lyrics**

So tell me how you lost your feelings in such a quick matter of time
I could lose sleep over who you’ve been texting, but those arent matters of mine

Breaking my spine just so you can survive, and Id do it again if it gave me more time
Just to ask how you’ve been, if you’re feeling all right
I get too attached now there’s nowhere to hide

So was I important to you-
Or is that just a thought in my head?
Am I more than a fool for believing in things that we said? 

Maybe if I could change the structure of all that I am,
It wouldn’t be so hard for me to let go of your hand.

(Halfie)
I could lose my sleep over things that don’t matter, like how my tears splattered on the bedspread
I been sevenfeet with my fear and I’m drowning
Don’t tell me there’s a chance it’ll go right to my head 

She’s the monster deep inside my closet 
Can’t call her, she’s only talking nonsense
I don’t feel alive anymore, but I’ll digress
(Yeah I’ll digress, yeah I’ll digress)

Cause you know, I’m happy to walk around in circles
just avoiding the blame or any people
I’m scared i know, i gotta be a better man but my eyes are closed
im just waiting for your hand

ashed w/ halfhearted (everest)

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy

lyrics:
i guess this is goodbye
have you ate, or do you try?
i wish you well, so please don’t cry
cuz i’ll be here no matter if ur not mine ♡
so i guess this is goodbye
but how’s june, does he still fight?
is he calmer now, or does he bite?
and does he still leave the house at night?

ʙᴜᴛ
ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ
ᴡᴀꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ
ʟᴇᴛ’ꜱ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ
ᴜʀ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪꜱ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ
ᴊ ʏᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ɴᴏ

2023 we made a promise
it failed within a month and ill be honest
u couldn’t keep ur word so our loves tarnished now
oh no

so take away the both of us
cuz i know you hate it just as much
as me
the love of ur life is me

ᴅᴏ ᴜ ᴀɢʀᴇᴇ?

ᴊ

when ur heart begins to rot
and the things u always thought
won’t be the same
because one day you’ll fall in love
and then next you hate her guts
well nothing changed
even if you go and break
knowing you, you probably hate
how i was made
gotta make this life my best
and pray god will fill the rest
then i’ll be okay

love of my life

TruVyn-understand me

Spotify

ｍｙ ａｐｏｌｏｇｉｅｓ ｗｏｎ＇ｔ ｂｅ ａｃｃｅｐｔｅｄ．

(w/ @ggravee)

[ggravee]
laying on the floor and my hands around my neck
i dont wanna feel i just want you out my head
getting hard to breath with this weight all on my chest
the sun is coming out i should probably go to bed

lips are getting dry and my bodies going numb
i try to call my friends but i really have no one
always feeling lost but i dont kno where to run
time is always slow i dont even know the month

hands are black blue match the holes all in my walls
dont know what to do or if i even should go on
dont wanna tie the noose, cause im scared ill slip and fall
i just wanna talk to you but i dont even try at all

i wish that i could move but im running out of time
farther im from you is when i start feeling blind
i dont wanna go cause i feel safer inside
i hope that i can grow and i can get this out my mind

[smalltalk]
we all gotta go its just a matter of time
you thought we should go, said it would be fine
i didn't wanna leave i had other plans in mind
knew i should have stayed inside

sign your name on my casket
like i got a cast in
and you can smoke my ashes

like a bad habit, feeling drastic
breathe me in with a passion
i know i got you feeling fantastic
do you feel me in your lungs, like its magic
do you hear me in the wind like i'm static
do you see me in your dreams like imagine

in a way its romantic, when its cold
light me up i'll keep you warm like a jacket
i'll keep you warm like a jacket
yeah my love, you can have it

running out of time (w/ ggravee) (prod. ʎpoqou)

What you see is what you get... I promise not to switch up  for the worse. Cross my broken 💔... 😉

can't fix it [hero]

notcursed

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