I don’t know if I can keep this “Charade Called Breathing” up…

ovaa n ovaa ft zellyocho (p. niche)

never die sober

in my shoes

Lyrics

I don't wanna hear that
I just wanna tell you
If I could go years back
I would never tell you...

You're all that I needed but I am not what you wanted
Why'd you run away from me? I thought I was important
Everything you did to me and I still never folded
I made one mistake and you made me feel fucking horrid

You're still in my head, I don't wanna let go
I lay in my bed, I just watch the time go
I been losing sleep cause I know you ain't here with me
And I know you don't fucking care at all but why'd you ever leave?

Why'd you ever have to go and leave?
I would wait for you forever, you wouldn't wait for me
Now I'm wondering why you lead me on
I'm done with it, I ain't got no one

You think cause you're gone that I don't keep up with you?
You're so fucking wrong, bitch I could show up to you
I know that I'm sick and I don't wanna get better
You're all that I wanted, I wish you would want it

Don't know where I'm going
Everything is boring
Frander is a poet
I just wanna load it

I don't wanna hear that
I just wanna tell you
If I could go years back
I would never tell you...

You're all that I needed but I am not what you wanted
Why'd you run away from me? I thought I was important
Everything you did to me and I still never folded
I made one mistake and you made me feel fucking horrid

You're still in my head, I don't wanna let go
I lay in my bed, I just watch the time go
I been losing sleep cause I know you ain't here with me
And I know you don't fucking care at all but why'd you ever leave?

dewy. | Produced by ezy

fading out the memories
im writing my own melodies
i cut down too deep and now im draining out my energy 

a piece of me is broken
you cant fix it 
leave it open

i’m a wound
i’m fucking hopeless
i’m so rude but they don’t notice

i just wanna die at the right time
need to come up with a good lie

doing anything to ruin my life
maybe i should just do it tonight

maybe i can’t finish the fight
scratch and bite cus i dont mind
recklessly control my life

i just wanna feel
something not painful 
but it all feels the same
carve it out until it feels numb
am i insane

can't fix it [hero]

prod. heyzbee & yunny goldz

take my life i don’t want no one else
i hate myself so you made my heart melt
hatred runs deep i just need your help 
i can’t speak so i just gave myself, up for good

i don’t want to fight back 
cuz i am just worthless
you said i’m the surface 
compared to you, im hurting 
you sang a lullaby 
that said i’m not worth a night
one word turned into fights 
now i sit and harmonize

you really don’t have any friend 
they lied to you they just pretend
just cut them off and let it end 
i’m the one you need and depend
your family sucks they hate you too
you don’t need them just me and you
best friend so what, it doesn’t matter who
i’m the one you want, so only me pursue

i don’t want to fight back 
cuz i am just worthless
you said i’m the surface 
compared to you, im hurting 
you sang a lullaby 
that said i’m not worth a night
one word turned into fights 
now i sit and harmonize

melt

i will get you back home

Huge shout out to my brother @halfhearted for his verse.

If you enjoyed listening, we would appreciate any support on the song, thank you all :)

**lyrics**

So tell me how you lost your feelings in such a quick matter of time
I could lose sleep over who you’ve been texting, but those arent matters of mine

Breaking my spine just so you can survive, and Id do it again if it gave me more time
Just to ask how you’ve been, if you’re feeling all right
I get too attached now there’s nowhere to hide

So was I important to you-
Or is that just a thought in my head?
Am I more than a fool for believing in things that we said? 

Maybe if I could change the structure of all that I am,
It wouldn’t be so hard for me to let go of your hand.

(Halfie)
I could lose my sleep over things that don’t matter, like how my tears splattered on the bedspread
I been sevenfeet with my fear and I’m drowning
Don’t tell me there’s a chance it’ll go right to my head 

She’s the monster deep inside my closet 
Can’t call her, she’s only talking nonsense
I don’t feel alive anymore, but I’ll digress
(Yeah I’ll digress, yeah I’ll digress)

Cause you know, I’m happy to walk around in circles
just avoiding the blame or any people
I’m scared i know, i gotta be a better man but my eyes are closed
im just waiting for your hand

ashed w/ halfhearted (everest)

prod by stezzyxl
enjoy

lyrics:
i guess this is goodbye
have you ate, or do you try?
i wish you well, so please don’t cry
cuz i’ll be here no matter if ur not mine ♡
so i guess this is goodbye
but how’s june, does he still fight?
is he calmer now, or does he bite?
and does he still leave the house at night?

ʙᴜᴛ
ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ
ᴡᴀꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ
ʟᴇᴛ’ꜱ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ
ᴜʀ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪꜱ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ
ᴊ ʏᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ɴᴏ

2023 we made a promise
it failed within a month and ill be honest
u couldn’t keep ur word so our loves tarnished now
oh no

so take away the both of us
cuz i know you hate it just as much
as me
the love of ur life is me

ᴅᴏ ᴜ ᴀɢʀᴇᴇ?

ᴊ

when ur heart begins to rot
and the things u always thought
won’t be the same
because one day you’ll fall in love
and then next you hate her guts
well nothing changed
even if you go and break
knowing you, you probably hate
how i was made
gotta make this life my best
and pray god will fill the rest
then i’ll be okay

love of my life

Hollow (Prod ElseWhere)

lately (prod. issfranciss)

Rotten (Prod. xenshel & R3DQX)

Ft: https://soundcloud.com/fats_e
Prod: https://soundcloud.com/sheltr666

MERCH: http://lilxlotus.storenvy.com/products/18507607-lil-lotus-noose-longsleeve

Let go w/ Fats'e (Prod. sheltr )

Spotify

ｍｙ ａｐｏｌｏｇｉｅｓ ｗｏｎ＇ｔ ｂｅ ａｃｃｅｐｔｅｄ．

ghost :/ (prod. iceman)

(w/ @ggravee)

[ggravee]
laying on the floor and my hands around my neck
i dont wanna feel i just want you out my head
getting hard to breath with this weight all on my chest
the sun is coming out i should probably go to bed

lips are getting dry and my bodies going numb
i try to call my friends but i really have no one
always feeling lost but i dont kno where to run
time is always slow i dont even know the month

hands are black blue match the holes all in my walls
dont know what to do or if i even should go on
dont wanna tie the noose, cause im scared ill slip and fall
i just wanna talk to you but i dont even try at all

i wish that i could move but im running out of time
farther im from you is when i start feeling blind
i dont wanna go cause i feel safer inside
i hope that i can grow and i can get this out my mind

[smalltalk]
we all gotta go its just a matter of time
you thought we should go, said it would be fine
i didn't wanna leave i had other plans in mind
knew i should have stayed inside

sign your name on my casket
like i got a cast in
and you can smoke my ashes

like a bad habit, feeling drastic
breathe me in with a passion
i know i got you feeling fantastic
do you feel me in your lungs, like its magic
do you hear me in the wind like i'm static
do you see me in your dreams like imagine

in a way its romantic, when its cold
light me up i'll keep you warm like a jacket
i'll keep you warm like a jacket
yeah my love, you can have it

running out of time (w/ ggravee) (prod. ʎpoqou)

theres ghosts in my head (prod. taylor morgan)

BasedLordJorffy ~ ReConnect (prod. jorffy)

beat composed by @prodbeef
 
mix/master @darkskyparadox

DONT KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW
DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY
BEG ME TO COME HOME 
PRETEND I'M NOT FAR AWAY
I STILL FEEL YOUR GLOW
LIKE THE SUNLIGHT ON MY FACE
I'M NOT SCARED OF GHOST
CAUSE I KNOW WE FEEL THE SAME

DONT KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW
DONT KNOW WHAT THEY SAY
SHELTER ME FROM GROWTH 
PRETEND I'M NOT FAR AWAY
I STILL FEEL YOUR GLOW
LIKE THE SUNLIGHT ON MY FACE
I'M NOT SCARED OF GHOST
CAUSE I KNOW WE FEEL THE SAME

RAIN 
FALL ON WINDOW PANE
PLACE
ME IN YOUR EMBRACE

UGH, AGAIN ?!
HOPE THAT I DONT FALL AGAIN..
(FUCK IT THEN),
OK I WAS WRONG AGAIN.

STAY CLOSE
IDK WHAT THEY KNOW
I ASSUME THAT IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHERE THEY WANT TO GO
I CAME HERE LOOKING FOR REVENGE ON ALL THE THINGS THAT THEY STOLE
I'M AFRAID TO FALL AGAIN AND PARTING WITH MY SOUL

STAY CLOSE
STAY CLOSE
STAY CLOSE!

STAY CLOSE (prod. Beef x Darkskyparadox)

dont feel like im present
but im still right here
she told me don’t worry
i’ll still be right here
can’t see shit in life
so i just need a light
im going so fast
might just fuck up and die
crash my car
i’ll make it nice
i’ll make it nice
think we’ll be alright
think we’ll be alright

yeah
yeah
can we slow down
real quick
shawty i been feeling fucked
i feel different
all the feelings in my chest
they don’t make sense
i just really wanna know if your bout this
im a lot take on
hope you know that
i been on my phone
hope you hit me back
been 2 fucking long since i felt love
so i wrote a song
hope i did enough

hope i did enough
for you to text me
bitches expectations are always just gonna wreck me
unexpected
adolescence
baby give me space just so i can get a breath in
i fucked up my liver
every time i text she just hit me with delivered
cuz im just too high
and im way too fucked
and every time i call she just hang the fuck up
ill say my last words cuz i feel like im dying
i don’t feel like being
your fucking appliance
im tired of being used
but that’s something that u knew

dont feel like im present
but im still right here
she told me don’t worry
i’ll still be right here
can’t see shit in life
so i just need a light
im going so fast
might just fuck up and die
crash my car
i’ll make it nice
i’ll make it nice
think we’ll be alright
think we’ll be alright

i think we'll be alright (prod. sketchmyname)

What you see is what you get... I promise not to switch up  for the worse. Cross my broken 💔... 😉

I don’t know if I can keep this “Charade Called Breathing” up…

Phillip Sanders