My Life 🎵 🎶 🎧

Sophmore year

beginning2

Poison Tree ~Grouper (Instrumental)

fuck it up like the way u wanna be everybodys so happy
whats the deal with this guy is he new in your life 
does he wanna be with you like i dont know 
dont wanna talk about it
i will show up to your work

everyday is a pain to go on
and my life is so hard
dont say that youve heard this one before
step back and shut the door
who cares if i use the same chords
my heart will stay torn 
its not fair
i dont care
i wont say that i love your hair
two years that you werent there
i hope that you still care

Pain6

NIGHTPHONE

https://open.spotify.com/track/5ZIIE80NheRzoIBzmo18dU?si=f78fc6c0ed884726

@melodyx_o cover
prod me

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaad my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

i hate being alive
slit my wrist i wanna die
wish i wasnt such a guy
stay inside like all the time
life just feels like such a pain
i really hate everything
motivation is so drained
and i really hate my face like
oooo
been so long since i have cleaned my rooom
been so long since i have made my fucking bed
i feel so made fun of by all of my friends
and
i feel so degen
i wake myself
at 1 pm
i hate this life
i think of death
but im too scared
of nothingness
im not prepared
to leave this world
i wish i was
an average girl
instead i struggle to feel real
instead i struggle to see a life where i pay bills

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaadd my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

i dont know why i try
bad decisions i just cry
see incisions on my thighs
next to prickly bumps of mine
everything is strange
why do i feel so much pain
my hair feels so disarrayed
and i cannot feel okay like
i dont have like any power
feel like my life is over
only have me to blame
throw on a skirt and
run outside again
embarrassing
myself for hours
feel ashamed my shitty mood
ive fucked my life too soon
i know i’m not doing too well
i’ll end up a jisatsu girl
if i don’t grab onto myself
if i don’t lose my fucking mind without some help

i feel like i am dead
cant get outside my heaad my head
i feel like i cant move
just dont know what to doooo
to do

jisatsu girl (自殺) (cover)

those cold autumn nights

https://open.spotify.com/track/7GHsBQ5oLMz6Jhq6TgzBHj?si=m6AqD8a8T5CoOFmWkkiqOA&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A4fE7fPBBe4x8t58IbcpFs4

prod me ft @kiheir

@requiem-for-you
saw u at that party last week
im so damn awkward u know i cant speak
but baby please
believe
that ur everything to me
x2

u treated me like shit
i know its not ur fault but it kinda is
i never thought that it would end like this
i never thought these words would leave my lips
but baby im cutting at my wrists
and i dont see an end to it
can someone help me
im dying
without u darling
oohhhhhh

@kiheir
and i never thought id feel this way
now that im seein u in the same damn place
or meeting u in these awkward ways
now that im seein u in the same damn place
or meeting u in these awkward ways
no one here to fill the void of my days
cuz ur gone
cuz ur gone

i needed u said ud never run away
the partys almost over i just hope that ud stay
my mind went blank ive got no words to say to u
and i doubt that u do too
ooooh i doubt that u do too
and i miss u but im glad that i met u

@requiem-for-you
saw u at that party last week
im so damn awkward u know i cant speak
but baby please
believe
that ur everything to me
x2

awkward w/ kiheir

https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nnwe5weuh5fyte28mcrJR?si=ea812a2a3b0c4e23

old (wujek) styleeeee !!!!! beat by me 

w/ @humanendeavour

[endeavour:]
together oh forever
your so clever yea whenever
things get better it gets better
oh however it will never
together oh forever
your so clever yea whenever
things get better it gets better
oh however it will never

[sekai:]
migraine my head aches
ur phone contains my messages
u haven't read im dead
im being ignored again
yesterday i had the worst time
and today if i said im good
then thas a lie
can't get better
im stuck inside
this shitty weather
i wanna die
i said my head hurts
a thousand times
but when ur near me
i feel fine

[endeavour:]
together oh forever
your so clever yea whenever
things get better it gets better
oh however it will never
together oh forever
your so clever yea whenever
things get better it gets better
oh however it will never

[sekai:]
can't get better
im stuck inside
this shitty weather
i wanna die
but when ur near me
i feel fine

[endeavour:]
together oh forever
your so clever yea whenever
things get better it gets better
oh however it will never
together oh forever
your so clever yea whenever
things get better it gets better
oh however it will never
ill my blood feel it up i wanna fill it all with blood
i feel your guts i cut it up
im sorry if that is too much

together forever w/ endeavour

CLOWN $HOW

https://open.spotify.com/track/4Yod5zUEZ5SyNe0LTqbhVu?si=f91fced6fb2c4d31

w the boat @yukisasayaki prod me

i can't get out 
I've been feeling so fucking down
no one hears me 
when i'm clearly screaming loud
every chance i get
i mess it up without a doubt
put me in a crown
when im the worst like all around
benefit from the misery that i feel
cuz i know no one wants me around anymore
there's no mistake, i'm a waste
i'm not real
cuz that's the sense i get
i'm played with like i'm fake

im drowning in my sorrow
about tomorrow but also yesterday
i don't think i remember
it's been like this forever
I've never gotten better
at least that's on my record..
my hearts buried down
cuz no one sticks around
I've wrote my vows
to never open up
to anyone
i dont need new friends
im better off alone and dead

i cant do it
wont make it thru the day
yea ill prove it
slit my throat n decay
u want what i want
n i rlly want me dead
it mightve been from
all of the things u said
n i cant take it
the words infecting my head
i guess no one would care if i bled out in my bed
im such a loser n im always such a fucking burden
i try n socialize but i can never get a word in
n u look in my eyes n tell me that im fucking worthless
u leave me paralysed oh pls just finish me for certain

and worst of all, it's me

and worst of all, it's me (ft. yuki)

https://open.spotify.com/track/0H4Atguloqg0ANQC2sUiP0?si=8a162f1c50fa4e8a

[ rei ]

prod me

wish i was a normal girl
in this totally fucked up world
now ive got no self worth
cus im not meant for this earth

if i die i can be replaced
im just used to unite the human race
another me can take my place
just the same expressionless face

just a stupid vessel
im rlly nothing special
wish there was no connection
between me and the angels

wish i was a normal girl
in this totally fucked up world
now ive got no self worth
cus im not meant for this earth
x2

tears

https://open.spotify.com/track/4Mkqb85Xssw7NjMCH7zDKN?si=f0939011e78b4e22

prod me w/ @yukisasayaki again yayyy

meet me on the roof after school
i fell in love n i wanna tell u
i know we don't talk but i think ur cool
n if u don't say it back, ig death will do
i-l-y, i might die
k-m-s, suicide
it's lie after lie, but this time i might try
knife in my chest twist it right close my eyes

baby i feel like im gonna die
tell me that u love me while u look me in my eyes
notice how i see u
from across the classroom
pretend to drop my pencil
and watch it roll past u
i jus wish ud notice me
a loser with no apathy 
slit my throat n watch it bleed
if u n me can never be
i swear that ill take my life
use ur silence as my knife
so come and take my hand
i wish u could be my wife 

yea be be mine
never leave my sight
we can live together in a loop
for the rest of time
no different options
no fucking pathways
ur stuck here forever we'll never part ways 

meet me on the roof after school
i fell in love n i wanna tell u
i know we don't talk but i think ur cool
n if u don't say it back, ig death will do
i-l-y, i might die
k-m-s, suicide
it's lie after lie, but this time i might try
knife in my chest twist it right close my eyes

dating sim suicide (ft. yuki)

$wag Nightmare - Mercedes

nothing seems to get my mind off of death
I guess that you can say im just a little bit obsessed
Well Im already dead so tell me how to speed the process
I don’t deserve a damn thing except to be a carcass
I tried to be a good person but im so caught up
Everyday it’s getting worse man im so fucked up
i contradict all of my words but im so tired of lust
what’ll kill me first the drugs or a barrel to my gut

farewell cruel world i wont miss you

FAVORITE EX - $wag Nightmare

prod me

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/7wbR0GUy87PX2ujRKdFAWk?si=Oac_OlLBSMuAQ4XueFJF4g

heres some things that i hate about myself
like my name but some others find it tuff though
wish my mom just had us go find help
cause she said that she’s never letting us go
i never know what day it is
when i smile its meaningless
empty bottles and promises
kinda corny just deal with it

brown eyes black hair
they never said lifes fair
one leaves one cares 
now they're tryna get me outta here
I always go for the pretty girls
but bring them into my shitty world

an invite to nothing at all

redize