🥰🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

so fucking good you both killed it 🖤🖤🖤

Rivilin:

I know anxiety lives in me 
if I stay here will I lose my mind I think I've already passed that time
plagued by derealization feel like im looking through a fucking glass
feel like this ain't my body im just in a dream will death wake me up

these drugs no they don't mean shit when this body doesn't feel even real
can’t keep up a fucking job it feels like im just blessed with bad luck
try to explain it to someone but they don't understand
like why can't I be normal for a second so I can feel human

my body on this cold concrete no furniture fucking around
convinced these shadows on the walls are out for me till im in the ground
take a step back id like to realize that im ok it's just my perspective
It cus feels like im living in my skull like nothing is real and this is all a dream

till I take my life and I wake up, maybe then ill be happy in this place
my psychologist doesn't get it, no amount of therapy can change what I feel
I tell my mother that im ok, that im just going through a rough patch
this is my reality, ill fake a smile and say that im fine

floating above this city,
if I let go will I suddenly fall then can I wake up
to me, this place isn't pretty
I feel disgusted when I see myself suicide’s not enough

there's a constant battle in me
gravity has given in hear the wind roaring as I collide
with the concrete end it quickly 
my eyes snap open breathe heavy, every time I die I wake up

Coaastgxd:


Every time I die I wake up
Every time I die I…

This time I'm just fine running away
And I'd sell my soul just to better the days
I never get a hold of this, I throw it away
I never know what to say, I make the same old mistakes

I been playing in traffic with my emotions and 
I'm closer to a rope than I been in a fucking minute, oh
Every time I think I'm getting better, I end up fucking sendin'
Now I'm back to the motherfucking beginning tho

Can't sleep and I can't wake up
"Life's tough, get a helmet and, shit, man up"
I been stuck and I'm spinning my tires up in the mud
Going nowhere fast, The ash floating over the sun

Rivilin:

my body on this cold concrete no furniture fucking around
convinced these shadows on the walls are out for me till im in the ground
take a step back id like to realize that im ok it's just my perspective
It cus feels like im living in my skull like nothing is real and this is all a dream

till I take my life and I wake up, maybe then ill be happy in this place
my psychologist doesn't get it, no amount of therapy can change what I feel
I tell my mother that im ok, that im just going through a rough patch
this is my reality, ill fake a smile and say that im fine

floating above this city,
if I let go will I suddenly fall then can I wake up
to me, this place isn't pretty
I feel disgusted when I see myself suicide’s not enough

there's a constant battle in me
gravity has given in hear the wind roaring as I collide
with the concrete end it quickly 
my eyes snap open breathe heavy, every time I die I wake up

Scarlett FT. Coaastgxd

~lyrics~

Banded up in the bando
Red handed with the white up my nose hoe
Nobody sees where the goods where the light go
Nobody knows, oh my god where'd the nights go

Fucked up bitch, I'm an asshole, mad hoe
Fucked that shit like I meant all the time woah
Rewind quick cos that bitch she was nice tho
Uh


Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho

Kiss her goodnight hoe

I been up, from the set, where did I go
Emo, english boy it's a hype thing yeah they know
Yeah they know
Text me X an O's
They're for show
Do they really want me?
I don't know
I don't know yeah

Trashed up
Fucked with the angel boy slitting his wrists
In the studio
Back to the back with this shit
An it's I know I don't wanna fuck that bitch
Cos I got my queen so fuck that ish
Hold on
Lemme sip that quick
Gotta move fast with this slow ass shit
Fuck a 9-5 rather die in a ditch
(AY)


Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Sippin' On Reds (prod. Metlast X Luffy)

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/6zYvtBuywNKUztZ7vk5fsN?si=cb8f752baa714baf

Drunk Girl X s0cliché - WAYSIDE

Pseudo - Red on the Inside

ART BY VEXXVI
https://www.instagram.com/vexxvi/

OPEN UP, GET LET DOWN
CLOSE OFF ALL THE WINDOWS NOW
NEVER GOING, NEVER LEAVING
TAKE MY CHANCES AND JUST DROWN

ALL THIS HATE, FORMS A CLOUD
BURN MY NERVES OUT HIT THE GROUND
COULDN’T SAY THE WORDS I WANTED
SO WE LEAVE ME, NEVER FOUND

WATCH THE SKIN START TO BLEED
FEEL THE CRACKS AROUND THE SEAMS
A PERFECT FAMILY ON THE TV
GUESS THAT WASN’T JUST FOR ME

FEELING BURNT, FEELING USED
YEAH I ALWAYS HAVE TO CHOOSE
DO I STAY OR DO I GO
YEAH SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO LOSE
 
DIDNT GET IT, REPEATING THE WORDS I SAID IT
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOUR BRAINS RESETTED
SCRAPING UP ALL THE PIECES AND PUTTING YOU BACK TOGETHER
STRUGGLING, STRUGGLING, STRUGGLING UNTIL I COULDN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE

THEN PUTTING THE BLAME ON ME, I WAS SUFFERING COULDN’T YOU SEE
I THOUGHT I WAS JUST MEANT TO BE THE ONE YOU LOVE BUT YEAH YOU JUST USED ME
DANCING ABOVE THE OPEN SKY, FEELING MY BEDROOM JUST COLLIDE
LET THE EMPTINESS ENVELOP MY CHEST AS I JUST TRY TO HIDE

NOW IM FLOATING AND FLOATING
I EMBRACE ALL THE BLIGHT
YEAH THE PAIN IN MY MIND
IS CONSUMED BY THE LIGHT

FEARING ILL FALL
IM SCARED ILL LAND ON YOUR KNIFE
WISHED ID MAKE UP MY MIND
SO ID LET GO OF THIS LIFE

THEY WILL ONLY LET YOU DOWN

Tsunami J. & Saphir - Lost And Found (Prod. jUdAh)

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

the way you stare it burns
what's left of me I never learn
hells jaws below consume
the way you smile makes me return

yeah call me a waste of space
Yeah say im not worth your time
yeah hiding behind a lie
watch my mental state decline

yeah watch as I withdraw
tell me how do I repair a broken core
I try to explain but you ignore
I fall further than before

yeah crumbling on myself
thought I could trust someone again
no, it's a lie yeah you were right
suicide will fix my head

no im not fine take some more drugs
didnt think id be alone
inside are breaking everything is shaking
everyone I loved is gone

saying you care, but you just share all your moments yeah with him
breaking apart, wish on a star didnt think I’d lose a friend
you want to go behind my back and break my trust again and again
didnt think I’d lose my hope in  being alive but now I wish for death

isn't it crazy how you can put everything into someone you love
but you know that you're never enough, numbing the pain out with the drugs
watch the skin start to peel and flake, the person I love is the one I hate
I should of crossed off I shouldn't let you in, I know that was just a mistake

Tired

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

jealousy got me messed up
fade out with a cloak made of pain
brittle bones start to snap I watch you come back 
the mental illness covers my eyes black

empathy isn't needed
this world that I create is my own little hell
watch your family just concede when they ask you to leave
yeah the cracks in my skin start to fray

it's like my bodies stuck in static, all my emotions going manic 
as the floor just starts to crumble and im falling, falling down
I harbor guilt from the resentment, maybe love was never mentioned
mind is filled with ignorance as the devil starts to consume

aspirations with the drugs take some more it's not enough
id rather feel something empty than deal with all the pain
a cloud it forms around my head depression says he's now my friend
im always empty all alone, I guess ill face this on my own

it’s what I see in my dreams, is this real watcha mean
contradicting on every word that I try to say
I try to be only me, it's all the hate yeah it seethes
there’s complications yeah every time that I try to stay

im on my knees now crawling pushing down, try to leave
this hallucination is clouding up your mental state
feel the flame at my feet watch the sky swallow me
their’s hesitation on all the words that I try to say


PARADOXX:

On all the words i try to say 
But i can't get them out of me

It's a double edged sword 
every time i speak i get blood on my palms 

I try to stay calm and collected but everything's breaking down on me 
I'm selective of the words that i speak but it's counquering me 
I get trapped in my mind all the time 

I feel my body rotting away from inside out 
But i can't be bothered to scream , I'm too weak to make a sound

And all this angst , all this doubt is eating me up alive
But i let it happen so who can i blame , I'll seek myself out

Hard Ft. Paradoxx

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

I feel your jaws start to wrap around my neck
so disgusted with how I left
I feel the anguish in my bones, watch them snap I turn to stone
try to ignore the pain

I see the flesh around my heart rotted with hate
this wooden home, it screams my name
no grand design above the sky 
skin is burning with the lie watch me embrace the void

im a waste, im a vermin, a piece of shit, hurting
doesn't matter if I stay I’m always just lurking
the ghost between us, the floorboards and concrete
it doesn't matter now when you don't amount to something

To people that you thought just really cared
but they leave you on the ground when you’re choking, not coping
And now you're embraced by the emptiness you never loved
and you’re watching as he consumes everything you came to trust

down the alleys where you grew up and you never understood
what it means to just care, what it means to just stare
with the blank eyes when someone’s just falling
to suicidal tendencies, they always get the best of me

so tell me why you’re never fucking calling
never checking on me until you need something to waste your time
just leave me the fuck alone
cus id rather be dead to you than something

Yeah depression hits me up, says he loves who you are now
I want nothing to do with you
invade my dreams and give me nothing, no I couldn't see you bluffing
find a lover, feel disgusted from you


feel my consciousness hit my stomach, weighs a ton it's dragging me down
I got nothing to give to you
you took the best then left me stranded, filled with hate then reprimanded
come tomorrow empty-handed from you


so bury me out the back where I can't hear a thing
I don’t want to be something more than a dream
but you know that’s not fair how you're always in mine
always plaguing my thoughts waking up and your gone

my friends say that it doesn't get better than this
is being tormented just some form of a bliss
these glass walls that I construct just seem to crack
and like a puppet I just always come back

yeah so it always turns this way when your friends turn fake
and you don’t have a lover to remember your name
so you crumble at the fear when you don't know yourself
pills from a psychiatrist, yeah it sucks they couldn't help  

with the constant torment knowing that you never will belong
with the piercing stares from family where they love to prove you wrong
like what you do for work yeah your looking half alive
yeah I swear I have been on repeat since I nearly died

say you wanna understand but you can't, I never said I wanna be alive long
it feels like im not living in my body
like who am I to you, am I just a joke of someone that I used to be
use me, abuse me until you leave again, im sick of living like I want to kill myself

Visionary

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

I see you crawling up to me on your knees
I see the rage building up in your eyes as I leave
it's like when I open my mouth reality stops and I can't control what I see
my body isn't mine now another person takes control when my mind breaks down

bursts of anger seem to cloud up my vision then my mind snaps back, hands covered in blisters 
now every day repeats in the same cycle, just stuck in a fog and I can let go of
who I was who I am who I could been, I can't live with the way that you just look at me
self-disgust builds a tiny little home right next to the place that I used to call my soul

what was I meant to say, how was I meant to react that way
a best friend confined, I wished he was dead I wish he never survived
the night I broke his face all the anger consumed and replaced 
I never came back alive the person I was, was the one who lost sight
 
yeah, emotions are boiling under my flesh, 
feel the stress rising up through my gut until nothing’s left
cus it's eating out the best of me, I tried to make you never see what's wrong with me
And even when I needed you, yeah you said that you gotta leave

Yeah so isn't that perfect I get it now, 
I search for something in places that won't be found
and then you find someone who builds a little cage inside your chest
where they change you and tear you down, find you gasping for your breath

and it doesn't help that best friends wanna, fuck with you
thought they had my fucking back guess im just easily used
I wanna fuck em with the gat blood splatters soak into shoes
Damn I guess it's what I lack, the courage to speak my truth

so I say it in these songs, yeah I fucking hate you
if I saw you in public I think id have to break a tooth or two
but self disgusts builds a tiny little home
where I find myself embracing the guilt all alone

Burn Notice

take me away
i dont wanna deal with you
ohh with you

take away
all the lies you say
dont reach out
youll bleed out

Its not the same anymore
theres blood on the floor
the tears keep falling oh god i want more
alll the pain you give to me
its killing me slow
no room for remorse
theres blood on the walls and tears in the floor
It’s not the same anymore

take me away
i dont wanna deal with you
ohh with you

break away
i dont wanna stay
without you
no need too
be without you

take me away
i dont wanna deal with you
ohh with you

the pain keeps on growing and growing
the cuts get deeper and deeper and deeper
im stuck with no time frame
the knife is my escape

im stuck with no way back home

its not the same anymore.

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

Hard Ft. Paradoxx

Rivilin

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