~lyrics~

Banded up in the bando
Red handed with the white up my nose hoe
Nobody sees where the goods where the light go
Nobody knows, oh my god where'd the nights go

Fucked up bitch, I'm an asshole, mad hoe
Fucked that shit like I meant all the time woah
Rewind quick cos that bitch she was nice tho
Uh


Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho

Kiss her goodnight hoe

I been up, from the set, where did I go
Emo, english boy it's a hype thing yeah they know
Yeah they know
Text me X an O's
They're for show
Do they really want me?
I don't know
I don't know yeah

Trashed up
Fucked with the angel boy slitting his wrists
In the studio
Back to the back with this shit
An it's I know I don't wanna fuck that bitch
Cos I got my queen so fuck that ish
Hold on
Lemme sip that quick
Gotta move fast with this slow ass shit
Fuck a 9-5 rather die in a ditch
(AY)


Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Bad hoe with the wine tho
Back to the back of the club where the lights low
Got good white tell a bitch gotta try hoe
Sippin on reds got me fallin to floor
So I been up for the night where'd night go
Stressed too much that's why I get high slow
Too quick with the fly treads an the nice flow
XO XO kiss her goodnight hoe

Sippin' On Reds (prod. Metlast X Luffy)

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/6zYvtBuywNKUztZ7vk5fsN?si=cb8f752baa714baf

Drunk Girl X s0cliché - WAYSIDE

Pseudo - Red on the Inside

ART BY VEXXVI
https://www.instagram.com/vexxvi/

OPEN UP, GET LET DOWN
CLOSE OFF ALL THE WINDOWS NOW
NEVER GOING, NEVER LEAVING
TAKE MY CHANCES AND JUST DROWN

ALL THIS HATE, FORMS A CLOUD
BURN MY NERVES OUT HIT THE GROUND
COULDN’T SAY THE WORDS I WANTED
SO WE LEAVE ME, NEVER FOUND

WATCH THE SKIN START TO BLEED
FEEL THE CRACKS AROUND THE SEAMS
A PERFECT FAMILY ON THE TV
GUESS THAT WASN’T JUST FOR ME

FEELING BURNT, FEELING USED
YEAH I ALWAYS HAVE TO CHOOSE
DO I STAY OR DO I GO
YEAH SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO LOSE
 
DIDNT GET IT, REPEATING THE WORDS I SAID IT
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOUR BRAINS RESETTED
SCRAPING UP ALL THE PIECES AND PUTTING YOU BACK TOGETHER
STRUGGLING, STRUGGLING, STRUGGLING UNTIL I COULDN’T TAKE THE PRESSURE

THEN PUTTING THE BLAME ON ME, I WAS SUFFERING COULDN’T YOU SEE
I THOUGHT I WAS JUST MEANT TO BE THE ONE YOU LOVE BUT YEAH YOU JUST USED ME
DANCING ABOVE THE OPEN SKY, FEELING MY BEDROOM JUST COLLIDE
LET THE EMPTINESS ENVELOP MY CHEST AS I JUST TRY TO HIDE

NOW IM FLOATING AND FLOATING
I EMBRACE ALL THE BLIGHT
YEAH THE PAIN IN MY MIND
IS CONSUMED BY THE LIGHT

FEARING ILL FALL
IM SCARED ILL LAND ON YOUR KNIFE
WISHED ID MAKE UP MY MIND
SO ID LET GO OF THIS LIFE

THEY WILL ONLY LET YOU DOWN

Tsunami J. & Saphir - Lost And Found (Prod. jUdAh)

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

the way you stare it burns
what's left of me I never learn
hells jaws below consume
the way you smile makes me return

yeah call me a waste of space
Yeah say im not worth your time
yeah hiding behind a lie
watch my mental state decline

yeah watch as I withdraw
tell me how do I repair a broken core
I try to explain but you ignore
I fall further than before

yeah crumbling on myself
thought I could trust someone again
no, it's a lie yeah you were right
suicide will fix my head

no im not fine take some more drugs
didnt think id be alone
inside are breaking everything is shaking
everyone I loved is gone

saying you care, but you just share all your moments yeah with him
breaking apart, wish on a star didnt think I’d lose a friend
you want to go behind my back and break my trust again and again
didnt think I’d lose my hope in  being alive but now I wish for death

isn't it crazy how you can put everything into someone you love
but you know that you're never enough, numbing the pain out with the drugs
watch the skin start to peel and flake, the person I love is the one I hate
I should of crossed off I shouldn't let you in, I know that was just a mistake

Tired

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

jealousy got me messed up
fade out with a cloak made of pain
brittle bones start to snap I watch you come back 
the mental illness covers my eyes black

empathy isn't needed
this world that I create is my own little hell
watch your family just concede when they ask you to leave
yeah the cracks in my skin start to fray

it's like my bodies stuck in static, all my emotions going manic 
as the floor just starts to crumble and im falling, falling down
I harbor guilt from the resentment, maybe love was never mentioned
mind is filled with ignorance as the devil starts to consume

aspirations with the drugs take some more it's not enough
id rather feel something empty than deal with all the pain
a cloud it forms around my head depression says he's now my friend
im always empty all alone, I guess ill face this on my own

it’s what I see in my dreams, is this real watcha mean
contradicting on every word that I try to say
I try to be only me, it's all the hate yeah it seethes
there’s complications yeah every time that I try to stay

im on my knees now crawling pushing down, try to leave
this hallucination is clouding up your mental state
feel the flame at my feet watch the sky swallow me
their’s hesitation on all the words that I try to say


PARADOXX:

On all the words i try to say 
But i can't get them out of me

It's a double edged sword 
every time i speak i get blood on my palms 

I try to stay calm and collected but everything's breaking down on me 
I'm selective of the words that i speak but it's counquering me 
I get trapped in my mind all the time 

I feel my body rotting away from inside out 
But i can't be bothered to scream , I'm too weak to make a sound

And all this angst , all this doubt is eating me up alive
But i let it happen so who can i blame , I'll seek myself out

Hard Ft. Paradoxx

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

I feel your jaws start to wrap around my neck
so disgusted with how I left
I feel the anguish in my bones, watch them snap I turn to stone
try to ignore the pain

I see the flesh around my heart rotted with hate
this wooden home, it screams my name
no grand design above the sky 
skin is burning with the lie watch me embrace the void

im a waste, im a vermin, a piece of shit, hurting
doesn't matter if I stay I’m always just lurking
the ghost between us, the floorboards and concrete
it doesn't matter now when you don't amount to something

To people that you thought just really cared
but they leave you on the ground when you’re choking, not coping
And now you're embraced by the emptiness you never loved
and you’re watching as he consumes everything you came to trust

down the alleys where you grew up and you never understood
what it means to just care, what it means to just stare
with the blank eyes when someone’s just falling
to suicidal tendencies, they always get the best of me

so tell me why you’re never fucking calling
never checking on me until you need something to waste your time
just leave me the fuck alone
cus id rather be dead to you than something

Yeah depression hits me up, says he loves who you are now
I want nothing to do with you
invade my dreams and give me nothing, no I couldn't see you bluffing
find a lover, feel disgusted from you


feel my consciousness hit my stomach, weighs a ton it's dragging me down
I got nothing to give to you
you took the best then left me stranded, filled with hate then reprimanded
come tomorrow empty-handed from you


so bury me out the back where I can't hear a thing
I don’t want to be something more than a dream
but you know that’s not fair how you're always in mine
always plaguing my thoughts waking up and your gone

my friends say that it doesn't get better than this
is being tormented just some form of a bliss
these glass walls that I construct just seem to crack
and like a puppet I just always come back

yeah so it always turns this way when your friends turn fake
and you don’t have a lover to remember your name
so you crumble at the fear when you don't know yourself
pills from a psychiatrist, yeah it sucks they couldn't help  

with the constant torment knowing that you never will belong
with the piercing stares from family where they love to prove you wrong
like what you do for work yeah your looking half alive
yeah I swear I have been on repeat since I nearly died

say you wanna understand but you can't, I never said I wanna be alive long
it feels like im not living in my body
like who am I to you, am I just a joke of someone that I used to be
use me, abuse me until you leave again, im sick of living like I want to kill myself

Visionary

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

are we sick, just rotten to the core with this
anxiety hollowed out
what's left of this empty shell
I try to I try to I try to understand

when you came to me with an illness
I didnt want to believe it was true so I just stared
tears filled  your eyes as I couldn't respond
I didnt want to lose you again, no not like this

I promised I’d be right back, yeah but I wasn’t cus I was running down the alleyways chased by
the shadows on the walls with the resemblance of my best friend but I knew it wasn't him cus he was trying to drag, 
me back into this place where I hated myself but you know it's a joke cus you know I still do
shoulder hits the plaster, breaks through the walls, reality seems to just stall

fractal of lights burst through the window as my vision starts to blur
no longer have a fucking place here so I drown in mental hurt
I put a knife to my stomach and I just try to push it through
The fucking blade snaps in half and im just like what the fuck is true

watch the bruise marks, start to shine through
watch me collapse, the love I pursue 
I see your blank stare, it's like they broke you
the medication didnt work, this person isn't you

the devil smiles back, im easily subdued
he was my best friend and to the side he threw
best intentions, we watch as you withdrew
it's hard to admit, that I couldn't save you

I watch your hair start to fall
fake a smile it will be fine
your ribcage starts to show through as you walk
but you are so perfect to me

you’re haunted by this,
so scared to admit that you might not survive
yeah cus hope is your enemy
you don't want to let down the ones you love

watch impure injections enter your veins, see your face just wither away
I try to explain that your gaunted cheeks are so pretty but you cave
threw fists at my face from the burst of the anger try to explain that it wasn't you
its this doubt that's embedded in your veins as the doctor says you might not make it through

stage two to the cancer, no I couldn't answer all these questions that plague your thoughts
torn between a decision of do I kill my insides just to hope I live a bit more
but you know ill hold your hand, know that ill be there till the end
yeah no cus im never gonna give up on you, I will be the hope that you'll be alright

Calcify

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

you give a smile then nail down my feet
can't forget, can’t forget, can’t forget, about me
wrap your tendrils, you place your hands on me
you take apart, take apart my body at the seems

my skin’s the canvas, it burns easily
all these faults on my body, let me go, you let me go
a dull ember, lost with the breeze
watch me float, watch me float away and never return

it's in the way you act it's like you push me away, 
oh guess im overthinking
that you don’t want me here, just use an excuse to stay
cus you don’t wanna hurt, you don't wanna hurt me

I try to feel something inside,
it feels empty from the fatigue weighing me in bed
I feel delusional say it’s an excuse then fall
deeper in depression where I thought I gave them my soul

just to be happy, just to feel again

when you wanna be something to them, but you’re burning at both ends till you reach the middle
and there's nothing left to give cus you’re not that normal you’re not like everyone else
so leave me on  seen again cus you don’t want to deal with me, don't want to deal with this shit
and im thinking to myself you should get someone to be there for you when you need them

I see you try to fake a smile to that ghost in the back room
I guess im lost, guess im lost right here
ill pop a pill just to stop all these thoughts from crashing
what's left of me so I can be with you

Cobalt

ART BY SUICIDALGALLERY
https://www.instagram.com/suicidalgallery/

LYRICS:

I see you crawling up to me on your knees
I see the rage building up in your eyes as I leave
it's like when I open my mouth reality stops and I can't control what I see
my body isn't mine now another person takes control when my mind breaks down

bursts of anger seem to cloud up my vision then my mind snaps back, hands covered in blisters 
now every day repeats in the same cycle, just stuck in a fog and I can let go of
who I was who I am who I could been, I can't live with the way that you just look at me
self-disgust builds a tiny little home right next to the place that I used to call my soul

what was I meant to say, how was I meant to react that way
a best friend confined, I wished he was dead I wish he never survived
the night I broke his face all the anger consumed and replaced 
I never came back alive the person I was, was the one who lost sight
 
yeah, emotions are boiling under my flesh, 
feel the stress rising up through my gut until nothing’s left
cus it's eating out the best of me, I tried to make you never see what's wrong with me
And even when I needed you, yeah you said that you gotta leave

Yeah so isn't that perfect I get it now, 
I search for something in places that won't be found
and then you find someone who builds a little cage inside your chest
where they change you and tear you down, find you gasping for your breath

and it doesn't help that best friends wanna, fuck with you
thought they had my fucking back guess im just easily used
I wanna fuck em with the gat blood splatters soak into shoes
Damn I guess it's what I lack, the courage to speak my truth

so I say it in these songs, yeah I fucking hate you
if I saw you in public I think id have to break a tooth or two
but self disgusts builds a tiny little home
where I find myself embracing the guilt all alone

Burn Notice

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

Tired

Rivilin

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