your choruses are always sooo good its insane

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

Yeah It’s when you punch me in the face and says its desperate measures
were plagued by suicidal tendencies shit doesn’t get better
it’s just another day another friend suicide just hits again
I wanna take my life but that’s not what I meant

can you tell me if you’re happy are you in a better place
did you ever find what you want cus I still just see your face
at the edge of my bed when im trying to fall asleep
yeah all my dreams are just plagued by awful memories

do you know that I cared
do you know that I called
oh god yeah I miss you but you’re not you at all
You’re not you at all, you say ill be ok 

you say ill be ok, 
but some wounds still don’t mend
it feels like my flesh is burning from the inside
im burning from the inside, im burning up alive

Yeah push me in the bed and now im left in recession
just a bloodline with an illness always left second-guessing
Yeah with charcoal on my face cigarettes in my hands
on my grandfather’s chair where he said to me

yeah son you gotta build your life and never look back
there will be people in your life that never give that’s a fact
but it’s hard to see the friends that you used to love go
but you know homie I got your back you just need to give a call 

so save your breath yeah im on my way right now
I don’t want to be someone that lets my friends down
maybe we will block out the sunlight with our despairs
stay in my room no life isn’t fair

Reminisce on issues that we had when we were younger
yeah looking back on it I thought as you as a brother
we suffered from the trauma we didn’t know how to comprehend
until emotion just builds and builds when i hear you say

What Changed

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

I come to this moment, 
almost every night
just a resident of this body 
a hollow specter am i

I shouldn’t idolize something that never will exist yet
my touch slowly turns you to stone I cant persist ye
im just a fragment of the problems 
but one by one you start to crack

it’s just my imagination
that one day I can grab happiness
will I find happiness
I don’t think I just fall

maybe this is my desperation
please wait while I catch my breath
will I ever catch my catch breath
I just sink then lose all control

crumbling, im crumbling until your pressure hits the bone
It’s just curse when you never call
it’s like a daydream waking in a sweat from thoughts of deceit and suicide
come to not feeling alive

we talk in tongues never understand a word
on your face I just see the anger lurk
stretch my skin onto your canvas till I tears
you watch the fever build around my neck until I clasps shut, you never cared

Cracks

Check out my homie: https://soundcloud.com/mefumetto

Lyrics:

Rivilin:


watch the jaws of hell open up for me
falling further down I see the shadows speak
gashes on the side of my cheek I feel the poetry
of all the words you couldn’t say and now the hatred breathes

the bruise marks on my face get darker though
you don’t wanna understand how I sunk this low
medicated on SSRIs just to cope
try to think of memories of you i didn’t loath

i guess the hesitation in your eyes show you don’t care
im grasping onto desperation pulling out my hair
i guess it shows the reasons why you never wanted me
ill hang this noose when you say you want something i cant be

take take from below the ghosts they’re after me
crawling at the scars on my neck im freaking out you see
panic attacks rest deep inside the anger dwells beneath
the red it blinds my vision and im groveling on my knees

--
Ｍｅｆｕｍｅｔｔｏ:

And I got stuck on your lies
It's getting hard to breathe
And I know that I want you but your not what I need
And all of it collapses on my shoulders, I feel weak - I feel weak
Hold my hand when I fall to dust - when I fall to dust
And I'm closing my eyes and letting me go
I only feel like I'm being alone in the end
So let me just fall, let me just die
I lost so much so I don't even mind

FireBloom FT: Ｍｅｆｕｍｅｔｔｏ

Lyrics:

I never the sunny days, 

Rocking all black, the funny way.


Don't ever look at my fucking face.


Tokyo City Is where I will runaway



I'll be reborn as neon,

I need some lights to feed on

Wasn't the type to be on,

I was the type to be off










Whatever happens it's never been relevant,

When I was born I told god I would settle this,

No matter how I explained, no one was getting it

23 years and I'm stil, back pedaling,

I was 19 when I met my fiend, and I simply just let him in.

Working this hard and I still got no settlement,

I dont mean money, I'm talking bout residence,





Only sip water out crystal,

Hollow tips inside my pistol,

I don't care and I don't miss you,

Antisocial but I'm rich too.



Feeling oblivious,

Fuck this is serious,

I hope somebody's hearing this,

Alone in the world and I'm fearing it.

Oh dear, Oh dear...







Used to think that my heart so enormous,

All of that kindness, was of no importance

Always cut ties, and the corners

Look in my eyes I'm a loner


But I'm not ordinary,

Don't get me mixed up with all of em,

Lost all my tolerance,

For nonsense,

I miss when things never made sense,

I don't like people I hate them.




Gave life the time and it shaped me,

Gave people me and they hate me,

How much longer will it take me?

To reach the point where the people will all thank me?






You don't know what it's like, to have me 

I don't know what it's like, to be happy.

Only said all these things, cause I'm angry.

I want the inner peace



I never the sunny days, 

Rocking all black, the funny way.


Don't ever look at my fucking face.


Tokyo City Is where I will runaway



I'll be reborn as neon,

I need some lights to feed on

Wasn't the type to be on,

I was the type to be off

Perspective (Prod. STXYALXNE)

give a big kiss to: https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals
https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

cus i know im a fuck up
cast me aside when you don't want help
i know i can be to 
much but its fine

well take shift in the morning
always watching out for suicidal friends
you said call me up 
anytime you know i'm here

my heart breaks far to often
i'm sick of watching everyone just fade out
stuck on the pills
till i no longer recognize

your best friend who is calling
they're trying to figure out if you're just alright
we both know that
i'm not so i'll just stay inside

-RipThePetals

Hit me up when you hear this

You know the things inside my head
You know that I wish I were dead
But you know how to keep my going

I know that I’m going when the blood flow slow
Your scared and alone
You tightened your tongue, your tongue, your tongue (you can put down the gun)

You know that I’m done (know that I’m done)
I’m in love with the one (in love with the one)
I can put down the gun, the gun, the gun (the gun the gun)

--

am i really that awful
am i so disgusting that you just left
can you explain
your one who makes me hate myself

did you get what you wanted
have you no use for someone who is empty
you take apart
the shell of the person you said you love

Day Shift Ft. RipThePetals

@rivilin

Lyrics

Why do I seek
What I know will destroy
I chase only vices
With your hand around my throat

You carry razor blades
On the tip of your tongue
With a glass-eyed smile
I thought here id burn up

I tried my best to be something for you
But we both know  im not enough
I see the way you stare at them
Like they're the one you really want

I got this fever down in hell when I was running searching for my soul
I met a devil down here, he placed a curse on me, and now you're all I want
Doesn't help that this devil mocks me in every way that I see fit to live
Doesn't help that I'm disgusted but myself and the person you've become

Thought burning my flesh would help me cope with the heat down here in this place
The longer I stayed here the more I got comfortable with the person I became
I could of used a friend back then but I guess I was blinded by your endless hate
The only one I have to blame is myself for the way that I just can't relate

I've become numb to the way you talk
Yeah numb, to myself you called it love
Yeah but this ain't that
Cus you’re the reason I want to be numb

I feel discontent,
Im numb, but all this hate was made from love
But yea this ain't that so ill just run
Until I can be loved

Riv been hypnotized
By a pretty face
Red lips hide the tongue of a fucking snake

I ain't sleep in days
The mirror looking drained
Waking up, realize, that we fucking changed

Where the fuck did I go wrong, who the fuck am I
I ain't really recognize, that person in the mirror died

Used to skate around with homies now I chase a high
Rivi used to save me now I'm passing him the fucking wine

Chasing vices
Living dangerous
Think I fucking like it

Took a pillie
From a stranger
Man I'm rolling dices

Rivilin 
He on a run
I know I lost my guidance

What the fuck am I gun do, I'm spiraling I like it
Rivilin
Is this worth what we losing
Spiraling
Feels so good but hurts the same

Rivilin
Is this worth what we losing
Spiraling
Feels so good but hurts the same

I've become numb to the way you talk
Yeah numb, to myself you called it love
Yeah but this ain't that
Cus you’re the reason I want to be numb

I feel discontent,
Im numb, but all this hate was made from love
But yea this ain't that so ill just run
Until I can be loved

Dirty Mirrors

⸸ spotify ⸸

$LOTHBOI x Rivilin - Dirty Mirrors

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin
check my homie 
https://soundcloud.com/skylar_allen

looking down im not used to this
yeah under my feet into the black abyss
cus   ill stare at it as it stares through me
yeah its   under my skin yeah it yearns to be free 

cus i became the problem i never meant to be
cus i linger in the forest weighed down by the leaves
cus my mental capacity is over the limit 
if i stay anymore you know im gonna relapse

cus you always stare at me like a freak
no i never understood social interactions
i try to be numb for just one damn secound
so i hide in the daylight always under a disguise

driving around our old neighborhood
memories come back and the tears start to swell
yeah back then i still remember you
if i could come back yeah i would

most days im know not coping
im a piece of shit you know it to be true
you spend to much time just hoping
that if you pray maybe he will come back to you

if i could tell me lost friend something
i hope your listening, i really just miss you
i spend all my time loathing
the fact i let you go i cant accept its true

-- SKYLARALLEN

Tell me it’s all a game 
Cause you don’t feel the same 
Wont let you seal my fate
I been lost but I’m finally on the right page 
Wrong time I been caught up in the wrong place
won’t lie I was always tryna find ways
To get by all alone it’s a damn shame 
Never listen when they tryna get to my brain

Living in a battle perpetuating regret
I been thinking bout escaping instead of making amends
Everybody saying something but they just wanna pretend 
Looking round I cannot tell who’s an enemy or a friend 
Take it all away 
Til I know what’s meant for me 
I won’t go til I know it’s meant to be
Looking in the mirror wonder what is left of me 
Take a breath like I know it’s destiny 

Look around 
Fall back 
Feel the world in my hand like that
Take a breath 
Wont last
Monsters in my head I’m trapped

Water;Liar Ft. skylarallen

Feat vocals from my homie:
: https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals
Feat Guitar from my homie
https://www.instagram.com/oden_johansson/?hl=en
Art was done by my homie:
https://www.instagram.com/muskisdead/
Just stay just stay for awhile
vision blurring i fall back lose track of time
hands on ears yeah outside just gets so loud
scared to death of confrontation ill be back in awhile

no shame i just break, on knees i cant fake my composure
feel like im just used, between two people you tear me apart
cus i didnt understand it, im left repremanded by my friends and the ones that i love
try to gain composure we fall to exposure, i guess you couldnt take that you judge from above

look at the blood moon consume me
skin shakes to stone the dust that surrounds thee
shadows and footsteps fluttering all around me i thought this dim light would keep me safe
but who am i kidding this journeys so long but ill fight until my grave

-- ripthepetals

I can feel him grabbing at my leg, I think his dragging me to hell
I just took some valium, you know that I am crazy for the pill

Goth kid with the cut wrist
I say im fine but im suffering
Big riv got the ritalin
Laced what im sipping in
I dont really care, bitch give it here
We really living in a false hell
Little vemon when im spitting, im wishing the best worlds
We really going down again
Im wishing we were more then friends

BURN ME FT. RIPTHEPETALS & ODEN JOHANSSON

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

bury the capsule of my doubt, I find myself staring through a window into the thick fog inside of my home, and it’s haunting it’s calling me beckoning me to walk further into the trees, and I find that there is no such thing as the word hope here

now im digging my way out, does it get better, does it get better than this
you burst in my room anger is filled in the palm of your fist
waking up with a black eye yeah like everything’s just fine
until the morning brings dust and I fade into my own hell

I swear time stood for a second and it showed me everything
what it means to be alive and for what it means to kill myself
some days it gets better most days it’s just worse
until I find out I hated myself all along 

THE ROPE JUST PULLS BACK
PRESSURE BUILDS AS MY NECK JUST SNAPS
IS THIS LIFE, IS THIS IT FUCK IM SICK OF IT
REPEATING AND REPEATING UNTIL THE TIDE JUST SWALLOWS ME WHOLE

THE RAT KING RELAPSED
I DONT THINK I WILL GET ME BACK
IS THIS LIFE, IS THIS IT FUCKING KILL ME NOW
CIRCLING AND CIRCLING UNTIL THIS HELL IS ALL THAT I FOUND

Even though our eyes had seen so much heartache, we had so much faith that this journey would show us the world in which we loved, but all I'm left with is a hollow empty room, which chills my bones till they freeze, I find my soul no longer lingers in this room because it hates the feeling of knowing that someone is going to die

Iron Teeth

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

I hear the silence talking
yeah deep in my chest
This girl shes got me fucked up
sink in the pills with no regret

Falling down the hallway locked in an empty house
yeah gravities a blur, on the ceiling screaming now
the shadows dancing on the walls seem to taunt me
always beckoning me to just jump and just leave

I haven’t felt this way in a long time
get the strength to walk on the balcony and im staring straight down
legs are shaking as I climb over the fucking edge
if I let go will you please just stop this

all these thoughts they erase over time
like tell me what is my own fucking name I forgot
I collapse, I collapse as my neck snaps
wake up from another dream where suicides a fairy tale

popping pills after pills get my mind straight
watch me relapse again till you just hate everything I am
cut my throat let me bleed, let me bleed out
there’s no amount of medicine that can help me now

yeah im watching the bedsheets consume me
watch the walls start to fade when my vision blacks out
I saw your face standing right there above me
I don’t blame you for cutting out to just leave

watch my soul walk down the hallway
he said goodbye, you’re lost in a state now
what does that make me
just another fuck up that’s a shame, wear a fake mask till my grave

watching my family just stare now
yeah they don’t know a thing about what it’s like to break down
fill my psychs pockets till they realize debts found
kick me out on the street cus I can’t afford to get help

with the shadows on the walls as we stare at my body
it’s just convulsing now everyone just thinks im a druggie
because im paranoid about words that I just hear
cus I know you divulge information that I trusted in you

but we both know that it doesn’t mean shit
I bet you don’t even remember the torment that you just put me through
I collapse, I collapse as my neck snaps
wake up from another dream where suicides a fairy tale

Erase Me

https://linktr.ee/Rivilin

https://soundcloud.com/ripthepetals

Rivilin
yeah baby  im gone you know i don’t mess with the past
but I know you just try to hit me up and fuck with my heart
now im alone darkness seems to swallow all of me
till my room fills with light and I see you hitting up my phone

cus im chilling with the vermin swarm, drug addictions all we know
best intentions peeling back my scalp you grab a bottle and take my soul
all the money I have got spent on frivolous things
try to fill an empty void with friends and designer rings
 
RipThePetals

I've got fake friends who dip when they pop off
New friends only like me cause im Petals
I've lost too many friends to the drugs, but they give me more, when i'm coming down, just to keep me around

And i can't answer the question to why your coming back to me
Your blowing up my phone just to treat me like i'm the enemy
I'll fall in love again, just a chip in my heart
Girl you broke me apart, but i can't seem to let you outta my arms

Rivilin


so what did  you say, what did you say
i don’t wanna feel like this anymore
so why did I turn, why did we fight
everytime i seem to be just at your door

so what did you mean, so what did you mean
that everyone just wants a little piece of me
the shadows seem to stalk im out of my mind
I feel like paranoia gets the best of me

yeah so baby im gone, try to fill conversation with validation
but you just want to chuck it back in my face no imagination
yeah if you just really want to hate me
At least just say it to me face say it to my face

if you just really wanted something  yeah
why can’t you just take it and let me just fucking leave
cus it always ends up this way
two best friends fighting over someone that we wanna hate


RipThePetals

Hate me, always love it when you tell me that you hate me
On these amphetamines, you tell me that you break me
All those words you've never spoken that I can't read
I’ve been abused in every fucking way so

You cant do a fucking thing to me
I see my demons when I’m smoking weed
I think about it they look just like you, when you know the truth, come crawling back to me

INVALID FT. RIPTHEPETALS

Self produced / Sad  

CONTACT: RIVILINAU@GMAIL.COM

Water;Liar Ft. skylarallen

Rivilin

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skylarallen

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$LOTHBOI

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