Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

prod by me and soundcloud.com/cay2o

shoutout to soundcloud.com/heylog , soundcloud.com/nothomex , and soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt for hoppin on this with me they're all goated and rly cool ppl show love to them if u arent already

hope u all enjoy :)

lyrics:

me:
i dont think I can keep on livin like shit
close my eyes, feel the tension 
im stressin bout it 
cause no ones the same, and I cant feel nothin 
im feelin strange, but I cant care cus its nothin 

please dont leave yet, I can see you frown when im bleedin.
please ima be there, anytime u need me ill be close so u can see me 

heylog:
everyday i'm feelin awful
6 feet, horizontal
i recommend u give me space
cause i'm close to hostile
she compliment me on my eyes
said, "i love the way they sparkle"
i'm lookin like some trash
while she's looking like a model
i want you
ur irish changes from green to blue
i love you
but why u gotta leave so soon

not home. :
they told me im too gone 
green packed in a new bong
I told her put her bra on, I wont be here too long 
left your thraxx in a baggy
bad bitch ripped jeans, cincinnati 
im your boy so call me shaggy
at the house now her lips speakin nasty

skele:
go ahead and just leave now
won't be here when i break down
keep cutting me i wont feel it
but i love when you bring the knife out
n babe i think that u ruin me 
not numb but god how i wanna be
look in my eyes if you want i feel the blood in the back of my tongue
say love, 
i really think you're a bad one
i think you like how my hearts gone
i think you just wanna have fun 
play around till it kills me 
till i hang from my ceiling 
getting close to no feeling
will u stay here if im willing

ima be there

spotify

ima be there w/heylog, residential, & skele

PRODUCED BY TAURS AND JOLST 

usendflowrs: 

will you call home, just call home my visions clouded
wanna tear off my face when i think about it
x2

your love fills my health bar, can’t live without it
i’m low hearts, you’re cold i would never doubt it 
a lost soul in that cold, and never found it 
your personality lies in that cold snow 
she said she kinda scared
she want me to walk her home 
jus carry me thru everything
and please don’t let me go 
she a witch, she curse the medicine
i take when i’m alone 
she wanna lay me down 
and kiss me 
take my soul and watch me go 

nevermadeithome:

and i cant believe that i didnt see this 
she poisoned the apple when i eat it 
i cant read her books they make me speechless
one flick of her hair shes so reckless 

she'll eat your heart alive 
she gets her voodoo doll 
with a needle and she pokes me in the eye 
now ive gone fuckin blind 
i hope this is the last time 
that she conjures up a potion 
& im praying its the elixer of life x2

i kinda want you bad
but i know that youre no good for me 
youre just being sad so i fall for you
i kinda want you bad 
but i know that you’re no good for me 
and you’re just being sad so i fall for-

sendflowrs & nevermadeithome:

in that cold snow 
she said she kinda scared
she want me to walk her home 
jus carry me thru everything
and please don’t let me go 
she a witch, she curse the medicine
i take when i’m alone 
she wanna lay me down 
and kiss me 
take my soul and watch me go
x2

winterfell w/ nevermadeithome (taurs x jolst)

prod fats'e
w/
@heylog  &
@lilskeleskrrt

lyrics:

heylog:
ur across the states, i wish it wasn't the truth
it's either them or me, now ur gone.. you had to choose
so i gave you a piece of art i took time and drew
u can keep it forever, i hope it stays with u
you've got so much ahead of u and goals to accomplish
while i make a song saying "log u need to top this"
but god i'm tired and the struggle is real
i died and came back to life, now i can't feel

fats'e:
life goes on
can't say i didn't try
just not hard enough
found a new timeline
just tossed to the side
died and came back to life

we both come undone
feeling stuck in a loop
that i can't seem to outrun
feeling stuck in a loop can't escape

skele:
n god i’d love to talk 
but look just not right now 
got some shit to say 
i jus don’t know how 
i spent like every night alone jus fucking dreaming of you 
n love i know your hurting 
it kills me too 

n tell me why 
it always gets so hard 
getting out of bed 
feels like i’m heading to war 
n if i saw the reaper know he’d take me for sure
breaking down alone 
i put my head to the door 

i don’t get it 
i thought i was better 
u said it 
so why can’t i remember 
i’m sick of living like this 
i hate the medicine 
im sick of crying like this 
it never fucking ends 

n at this point think i’ve died twice 
really good at fucking up my life 
n i don’t care if you love me
i just need you to lie 
life goes on, i just don’t wanna try 
i got used to all the pain inside

died and came back to life (w/ heylog & skele)

i wanna write your favorite song

w/ https://soundcloud.com/vito2300
prod: https://soundcloud.com/jolst

this shit keeps breaking my heart
i can't sleep at all
i wanna write your favorite song
i wanna hear you talk 
just fuck it all 
just cut me off
and i'd do anything 
come close,
don't let me breathe
i need you next to me
hands cold till you make me freeze

vito: 
cuts deep but i'm not afraid of it
your touch for a long time was my form of payment
but i couldn't find the words
after all you're not shit
now i been feeling sick to my stomach,
you left me nauseous
don't call me back 
you'll be better off
need someone to tell me i'm good enough
carry that shit and believe it
look at the way i've been treated 
it's black white like old cartoons 
it's not fair that i lost you
and it's not fair that i'm still here 
and you've got somebody beside you

i wanna give it all up 
i've been thinking heavy
if it hurts it's not love
i don't understand 
cause i'm so used to leaking my blood
hate the way it is
but i can't ever get enough of you
i got myself into a mess
don't think you want me too
didn't mean a thing 
you were here in my room
c'mon cut me through 
rip through a vein or two 
want you to make a move

cut me off (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

ly caspy <33

lyrics:

waking up the same as u left me
pillies to the brain, i got plenty
tell me run away in the bentley
take away the pain that u fed me

im in the function
n i cannot function 
lung combusting
repercussion
u on sum fuck shit
playing me, percussion
~death wish~
blood gon drip my neck like issa necklace
name on top my wrist, look like a setlist
wake up, bake the bowl, this shit not even breakfast
eating breakfast
i be on my dread shit
blood gon drip my neck like issa necklace
name on top my wrist, look like my setlist

{casperrr}
i tried to run
but i an't fast
tried to fight 
but i knew i wouldn't last
these feelings
kicked my ass
but there's no way
i am ever going back 
wake up
drag myself outta bed again
face up
tryna face my oldest fucking friend
sadness
i think this is the end
timeless
im afraid i have no time left 

putting all my songs on her playlist
goth bitch
stare me in me eyes and
she looks flawless
falling 
deep into a faucet
i ain't notice
wore my heart on my sleeve
until you came and u broke it

{shizukesa + casperrr}
waking up the same as u left me
pillies to the brain, i got plenty
tell me run away in the bentley
take away the pain that u fed me

follow spotify!

death_wish w/ casperrr (yung rospo)

just a vent, very drunk rn 
shoutout my brother @jolst on the production



tell me baby does he write you songs? 
blood all on my pillow when i wake up shit is wrong
i been takin 30’s got me itchin i can’t stop 
every time i think i got a hit it start to flop
i wish that i never saw those numbers from the start 
try not to let it bug me but i can’t lie it hurt my heart
i spill my soul on the mic n go smoke a dart 
shoutout to big veins we just alike in that regard 

everybody write bout doin drugs, it’s ok
but u ain’t ever threw up in ur sleep it burn ur lungs
i been sippin lean for 4 days babe im havin fun, ay
feel my heart beatin in my chest i’m dying young
and words are powerful theyll kill u like a gun 
watch the shit u speak cus ur whole life it becomes
people love to talk their shit but watch em when i run
when i fly to USA im landin with a punch 

i got G.E.R.D
regurgitation ): 
might pop a 40
and float away and
can’t stand you phonies
so go away yea
got good friends round me
but they won’t stay, yea 
and i’m used to that 
always been the same 
since a small boy i been
always filled with hate 
but i love my momma 
and i love my dad :)
and i’m thankful daily
for the shit i have 

maybe life is okay
maybe it’s not that bad 
i got someone who loves me
can’t argue with that <3 
i still get so fucked up
til i can’t call a cab 
i been tryna love myself 
but i don’t love me back 
i still wake everyday 
with shit on my shoulders i’m a heavyweight
get away
from all the negative things i always say 
fill the page
with shit i would think but i would never say
care+ in my drink 
but i been tryna get in better shape 

i can’t even think yea 
baby i’m just sitting here recording with a drink yea 
shoutout to the gang 
that’s double L all on my krink yeah 
shoutout to the goat jolst 
can’t wait till we link yeah <3 (love u bro) 

n i still wear a hoodie 
even when it’s hot
pull it over my face
so u can’t see me rot
baby take your hood down
girl i’m self conscious
everybody talkin money $$$
don’t know what a job is 

i guess this is what they call 
a r- release 
i just love you all so much 
that i can’t even speak
i feel fuckin worthless
but you’re all helping me
this one for the soundcloud
ima go to sleep … 

(love u all bro i get a lil soppy when i am drunk sorry )

maybe its not that bad (jolst)

produced by taurs

and it’s cold here
so grab your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

and my head spins
when we are together 
you never show me love, 
despite that, you’re so special to me 
got ugly eyes, im not the guy you fell for
but i could try my best 
if you give me a chance and don’t leave 

callin, callin callin again
why the fuck are you still stalling?
those texts you left unread 
i can’t avoid the hole, i fall in
fall in to the abyss 
my chest caves in when you call me 
the one that you regret 
i’m so tired of ur shit

and it’s cold here
so bring your coat 
don’t say i love you
i know you don’t 
and it’s awkward
cus you’re too nice
and im obsessed 
with those blue eyes 

and i’m besotted 
with your new guy 
it made my heart crack
just like new ice 
how could you do this
i was a fool, i 
just never knew that
you were the cruel type.. 

you were the cruel type
i know you hate me you didn’t have to say it two times ): 
i can’t stay here anymore
my veins are blue, i
guess i’ll just lay here in the snow and watch the moon rise

ugly eyes (taurs)

i needa go to work my girl if u hear me now 
i’ll be back at 6
make u food if u want it 
woke up in a good mood 
but shortly after lost it 
this table and this screen 
keep me in like a coffin 
at my 9-5 way too high to be conscious 
broke another streak
i feel bad for my sponsors
need to put this bottle down
head spinnin like a comet
2 litre sprite
pinewood then cherry drop it 

like run your diagnostics 
on my friends 
anythin u want girl
i’ll buy it 
can’t afford a prada bag
so i rolled this 10 
will u hold me down when i get indicted
pass the gas to my homie only smoke fire
hold the knife in my hand and i get excited 
pass the gas to my baby yea she light it
she put flowers on the grave that i’m inside inside in

and it’s like lately
idk, i can’t explain 
i been - 
ugh

i mean, like lately,
i been low once again 
i feel like things are starting to fall into place
then they slip and i drop them 
they smash like a vase
always just a fuck up 
yea i cannot explain
why do i always think people want me this way
then they cut and they stitch n they try change my shape
i pop pills n im lazy 
the fuck can i say
either take me 
or leave me 
stop playing this game 
i’m a person i deserve to be loved and- 

tf am i sayin 
just pass me a 30 n get out my way 
i’ve gone cold through these years that you’ve shredded my brain 
what’s a life without fighting 
feel fuckin insane
did you see how he fell when i hit him again 
i got blood on my hands wash it off in the rain
i can’t make a fist or hold my phone a few days 
but i promise that pussy won’t try it again
all i need in this life is some weed and a pen

i’ll be back at six (nevrfall)

i can't look at you

prod: @irby314
master: https://soundcloud.com/diskrypt

another missed call
it's all that i wanted to see the leaves fall
please i'll 
be all alone 
and i'm not able
skin crawl 
i know what you want 
and that it's painful
tangled
it's not hard to see your angle
i see the cuts in this 
baby it's not picturesque
can't cover up the stitch
see the scars surround my chest
oh, i think i love you too much to be a good thing
don't think i trust you enough 
i get the feeling

this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you 
this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you

can't get out of what i started 
that's a problem
cause you like to lie regardless
if i'm honest
try,
keep me broken hearted
be your target
cry my dearly departed 
i'll be your last one

it goes on 
and on 
and on 
(i'll be whatever you want)
and on 
and on
and on
(until i beg you to stop)

i'll be whatever you want 
until you beg me to stop
no matter what the cost 
i think about it a lot
i'll be whoever you need
pretend i'm on tv
want you to stare at me 
want you to reach through the screen
i'll take it off for you,
regret it
a doll for you to mess with 
he told me have some respect for myself
didn't get the message 
pour it out, get me drunk
oh i'm and easy one to bed with
let me down, not enough 
oh i'm an easy one to end with 

this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you 
this'll all be over soon
baby i can't look at you 
feel my skin turn pale and blue 
baby i can't look at you