wonderful song <3 hope ur mental gets better tho bro

feel attacked when they ask if medication been helping lately

this was so fun to make, hope you like it
got a song coming every 1-2 weeks for next month (:
thankful for every listen <3

beat by the insanely talented @illsee
lyrics:

I live among the vermin
will you listen to my song
will you listen to my sermon
will you honor all my wishes cause you know that I've been hurting
will you call me when it’s imminent
I’m terrified it’s certain
I live among the vermin 
will you listen to my song
will you listen to my sermon
will you honor all my wishes cause you know that I've been hurting
will you promise you’ll be with me when I’m pulling back the curtain

I've been up in arms
wondering how I’d tell you
when I wanna be in yours
wish it was that easy
but it’s pulling back and forth
wish I could appease it
but it’s gonna run its course

I'm always down on my luck
not coming out of my rut
I’ll find a beat
that I like
and make some shit on it once
but Imma finish a song don’t care
if I hate it
Imma keep up with this i swear
never disappear

I live among the vermin
will you listen to my song
will you listen to my sermon
will you honor all my wishes cause you know that I've been hurting
will you call me when it’s imminent
I’m terrified it’s certain
I live among the vermin
will you listen to my song
will you listen to my sermon
will you honor all my wishes cause you know that I've been hurting
will you promise you’ll be with me when I’m pulling back the curtain

vermin (maybe)

allamericanwendigofreestyle (p. Pandemxnium)

one take; last "dylan" track<3 luv you

feel attacked when they ask if medication been helping lately;
texting back feel a task, and "i hate it" started sounding lazy, but
half awake, drained, sleep in late, daylight hate me
they like my music that way, may likely keep it
elegy-writing every piece, and keep siphoning feelings
from old lined pages of my mom’s, i’d recycled her meanings
would resurrect her for 1 minute, sum speaking is needed
it’s sum shit to address
like “you really left me alive? i been battling demons”
“so why you allotted freedom? i aint even there to see it”
“i still love you to death”
“and i still cry to your ashes at home, i doubt you even hear it”
“i doubt ur even here”
“see least you get sum sleep now, if only when u rest” 
i’ll wait another year, just had 2 fade that off the chest
“shizukesa” stays afloat until my date of death
create the music until then, but still i’m playing chess
input my suicide note into something second guessed
until i split the wrists and crimson start to coalesce 
until i’m nothing left

sleight of hand, sight of mine sliding skin
midas, my girl's golden touch heal my sin
might as well pray for 1 day that this bliss
should never evaporate, nor up and dip
real shit
that's real shit
shizu

dylan p3 (urban)

fireplace

fireplace (coffeelover x thesoundclown)

lyrics

one look and i am petrified
if you could see directly into my mind
it would hold on to you too
im still holding on to everything that i dont want to
if your dreams arent waht they meant to be theyre nightmares come to haunt you
i could fight off all the demons only if im right beside you
we went rocking in the parlor La Gal right outside the highschool
feel like persian in the mirror then i shock em like im raichu

baby you light me up, wick
i seen hoes around the country you the only ten i seen
picture perfect baby you could be on a tv screen
im so pinsir baby youre so ribombee
amiro angels music in the afterlife
but while im here i promise ill stick by your side
and now that you see me in a whole new different light
baby im so petrified
2 gram blunt split with my guys

one look and i am petrified
if you could see directly into my mind
it would hold on to you too
im still holding on to everything that i dont want to
if your dreams arent waht they meant to be theyre nightmares come to haunt you
i could fight off all the demons only if im right beside you
we went rocking in the parlor La Gal right outside the highschool
feel like persian in the mirror then i shock em like im raichu

bigwappa x notahero - petra (p. legos)

yeah we never did it right
try to switch sides but its too late
take the rib out my side
every waking thought feels insane 
but i know thay im alive
been tryna find comfort in this pain
but boy its been a ride
saw that look up on ur face ur gone tonight

when a star collides
or an angel gets its wings
when the night sky’s
reflecting on to me
it’s like i couldn’t help it
you smile while you say im selfish
my bad that you couldn’t tell
when i tried to yell
i was busy breathless

we can waste time
thinking bout the past 
but im offline
since you made my heart black
and i gave my phone a crack

in the front seat of a new car
felt u cut me, got a new scar
aint it lovely when you’re so far?
family found me in the front yard 

been ashamed of the man that i was 
been off of the gram, cuz its only fake love
i came to conclusion im stuck in a rut
but im stronger than this so im not giving up

when a star collides
or an angel gets its wings
when the night sky’s
reflecting on to me
like i couodnt help it
you smile while you say im selfish
my bad that u couldn’t tell
when i tried to yell
i was busy breathless

breathless [under the maple tree]

i’m glad your cheeks are red, my eyes have turned grey
and i look like a million but i feel like loose change
someone told me ill always get in my way
well if there’s two of me, ill make sure i include him everytime i pray

and with this circumstance, hope you think we should stay together
cause these dreams hurt so much
i miss you so much
and that’s my bad for thinking that i would be better after the mountain trip
i miss myself so much
and then you call my phone
i’m off the medicine
and i’ll sell my songs
so you’ll have a place to live
cause my heart is full
and my brain turned mush
hope you know when i’m gone
that i did all i could

let’s get it started then, while im here i might as well turn up
i’m drinking right off the block at this block party im bouta fuck it up
i’m gliding through this shit i really might just blow up like “Just Cause”
i know i “pour for four” but bae i really think that you’re the one
and i’ll slide
but im scared that it’s the last time
but you stay by my side
and i don’t know why you do that
but i’m glad you’re here tonight

and given the circumstance i hope that we can stick together
cause these dreams hurt so much, i miss you so much
and i guess that’s my bad for thinking that we would be better after the mountain trip
girl i miss us so much
hate being on my phone
i love the medicine
and i’ll sell my songs
so you’ll have a place to live baby
my heart is full
and my brain turned mush
hope you know when i’m gone
that i did all i could

i used to think that people like this were so reckless
now when my friends call me doing drugs i get jealous
my armors chinked with arrows sent here by the marksmen
they blocked out the sun and used my back like its a target
stop it
i been dodging shit like i did back when i fought margit
stars lit
baby come outside and we can stargaze
im out smoking on the balcony come and join me
i wont jump fr

and with this circumstance, hope you think we should stay together
cause these dreams hurt so much
i miss you so much
and that’s my bad for thinking that i would be better after the mountain trip
i miss myself so much
and then you call my phone
i’m off the medicine
and i’ll sell my songs
so you’ll have a place to live
cause my heart is full
and my brain turned mush
hope you know when i’m gone
that i did all i could

loose change (p. under the maple tree)

prod dash 

sample from whiplash
lyrics ⬇️
theres not a future thought in my head oh well
well i could tell you what i want next 
but you would yell
yell at me for my best
for secrets that i had kept
then wonder why i aint slept
oh well
think this is something i cant repeat
keep stoopin low
you gonna find me out in a ditch
i dont want you to know
i dont think i dont think i can be seen like this
id rather you go tell everyone im just in an abyss
stuck out in the snow
way too cold so i couldnt flinch oo

think my lil brodie jus hit em a clip
360 y y hit on yo miss
and he doin damage so that you cant stitch
all of the stuff that you wish he aint did
act like my wifi aint runnin so i could just possibly find me some rest
act like this wachu been wantin
honestly please come be my guest

white paint on my whip
all of my vices green
i dont want you to trip
but i dont wanna you to cling
like what do u mean

well its pretty easy if you would just listen just for a minute 
i could tell u how i really have been 
like walkin to finland
thats how the distance feels between us when you get tempted
if i had wishlist you wont get it
ill throw that lil promise over the hedge

hits like a comet covered in ship
if we woulda saw it it would be sick
hints like a comment you wont forget
but we had a problem thats what we missed
covered in star dust under the mist
woulda been harder not to be hit

barley had started when you had dipped
hate you departed think we had skipped
my head been clouded hate to admit
i hope these feelings diminish they cant replenish
you act like a skit but this now a show
like where did u go
if i had a blick then i woulda blown
like you didnt know

and i cant explain how im feelin alone
every night i feel like theres not a phone
no where to reach
nowhere to be
part of me feel like im left out to bleed

finland (dash)

thank you guys for the beat, love all of you deadwood

lyrics
-=-=-=-
I don’t mind
When you don’t find the time
I think I like sometimes 
to be alone
Cause you just twist my words
And you make sure it hurts
I never get hopes up
That you’ll atone

I been back on the pills, shit
I don’t wanna feel this
When the thoughts all flood back
I just kill it
I been up and restless
Hoping for a check in
Praying for a message
Knowing damn well it’ll never come
And I’m not the one
You made sure I knew that
Hearts go flat,
It’s just time that proves that
That's what you said
Misconstrued? 
That’s every word by fucking word

I think everything will turn out for the best. (prod. wraithontheporch x NE'ERDOWELL)

i can’t help but blank stare
when in your crosshairs
cus “life ain’t fair”
and she didn’t want me there 
when we’re on facetime 
she’s rolls her hazel eyes
cus she don’t care 
she didn’t wanna be there 
in the first place 

don’t promise me - i know you’ll break it
on my knees im begging 
cus i want you there
but you’re somewhere else 
she said “boy that praying won’t save this
when you fall don’t blame the pavement”
okay well fuck you then 
cus i’m good right here 

did you hear that?
she said don’t blame the pavement 
when i fall like that’s hilarious !!!!!!!
baby tell me all your favourites
i’ll put em in a playlist and keep it there with us
you want crazy? i’ll show you crazy
i’ll pull up on your friends and i’ll fucking bury em
i’ll lock you in this plain white room and when we go out they can’t help but stare at us 

i can’t help but blank stare
when in your crosshairs
cus “life ain’t fair”
and she didn’t want me there 
when we’re on face time 
she’s rolls her hazel eyes
cus she don’t care 
she didn’t wanna be there 
in the first place 
x2

blame the pavement (mackk)

babylon

静けさ - shizukesa

alt rap
[Ｔｉｍｅｌｅｓｓ]
             21
feel free to dm<33

influences: aries, 9tails + sewerperson, shinigami, kevin kazi, 49bags, guardin, atlas, noname

dylan p3 (urban)

shizukesa.

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