‘And there’s something here perhaps that the body is offering you, something wanting, something, raw, something hurting…. Inviting it to feast at the table, the fullness of this experience, being empathically received in presence, just letting g it be the way it wants to be, allowing it to find it’s own way into its own healing and wholeness all in good time.’
Focusing Courses Autumn 2024 https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing
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How do you approach yourself other than react, attack, freeze, overwhelm, dissociate, the deep grooves of repetition and habit?  Find out how to flourish and thrive.....the focusing way.

‘This is the alchemy that turns ore into gold, carbon into diamonds, pupa into butterflies.  The butterfly of the felt sense knows its own freedom, is unbounded, and natural…..’

‘We are intimately connected, we are all born of stardust and heat form the sun, and from the waters of the mighty oceans and lakes, from the earth, from the space around us. There is innate wisdom in these elements as they combine into animation, into us, just being available to this mystery of the life that runs through  us, how amazing.‘

‘This is the matrix for creativity, healing, flow the fresh edge that knows its own way, that knows its own direction, without restraint, without patterning, expressing itself in the moment spontaneously, playfully even.’

More on Simon and Living Presence: https://www.living-presence.co.uk/

Exquisite Alchemy of Focusing Support Attunements Reflections Exercises

Something in us might be short of choice when it comes to being hostage to the Cartesian ‘I think therefore I am’ mind, hostage to anxiety, worry, beliefs, convictions, depression and more.  Focusing Training Winter 2025 https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing There is another way, through Embodied Relational Presence for deeper healing and forward movement.

Healing Connection, Creativity, Community, Wellbeing through Relational Presence

To feel our feet on Grand Mother Earth is a prayer that only a few will ever understand!

Lakota

What the Body is Noticing Playcise Quartet

These Playcises invite the Body to reclaim it's Soveriegn identity, shifting away from the thinking mind as owner to offer the possibility of deeper peace and presence

NOTICING Playcise 1 What This Body Is Noticing

Invite a very deep resting in the body as it reclaims its own sovereign nature. 

"Herein, Bahiya, you should train yourself thus: 'In the seen will be merely what is seen; in the heard will be merely what is heard; in the sensed will be merely what is sensed; in the cognized will be merely what is cognized.' In this way you should train yourself, Bahiya.

NOTICING Playcise 3. What The BODY Is Noticing and Letting It REST In ITSELF

Here's a practical approach to inviting deep peace and rest very quickly, without forcing out thinking, allowing for a natural and magical transformation. The body provides a safe haven of stability and peace, find out how.

NOTICING Playcise 2 Noticing and Resting With it.

How do we come into relationship with our feelings?  Normally default mode settings of ignore, repress, overwhelm, blame, evaluate, fix etc.  These modes perpetuate the continued arising of these feeling-story patterns.  How do we get out of heh 'closed loop' of the thinking mind?  In this playcise we explore how to come from embodiment to connect with a feeling.... it is not a definitive approach to relationship with feelings but a vital part of the relational process.

Playcise 4 What The Body Noticing and Feeling Tone Emotion Mood

Focusing most certainly about experience and relationship.  We are inviting an exquisite relating, you could say everything is relating to everything; ‘To see the universe in a grain of sand’ Blake of course.  Indiras net too.  The key quality here is Availability, synonymous to openness, although perhaps more than that, we are waiting to ‘hear back’ from the universe.  Letting things be and allowing also feature here, and there’s more than the thinking mode, as Gene Gendlin said ‘Dead end stories and dead end feelings.’  Its as if we are a giant Redwood, our roots burrowing down into the fertile, rich aromatic soils, drawing up the nutrients.  Rooting, grounding and earthing, stable and strong to the elements. Yielding gently to the winds but not breaking, the leaves and branches dancing in the big blue, rising up towards the starriness of things. Letting the body rest in the body as it senses into the breathing.

Playcise 4 Body Noticing and Aliveness Focusing Quality

Letting Things Be the Way They Want to Be
I think, in my own focusing evolution, I’ve changed tack slightly. I’ve shifted my approach to letting things be the way they want to be. Now, it feels more contextual for me. There’s an awareness around it that I didn’t have before.
Recently, I worked through a small bubble of old trauma. Occasionally, it still comes through a little, and the process has been quite interesting—at times, even intense. But yes, in true focusing fashion, when something arises, you receive it, make space for it, and say:
"Hello! There you are! This is it?"
I would like to add something to this principle. I believe we each learn, in our own way, how to relate to different parts of ourselves. It’s not just about passively letting things be the way they want to be; it’s about receiving something fully. It’s an incoming—an incoming experience, an incoming awareness.
Classically, we might push against it, repress it, or freeze. But in focusing, we come into full relationship. Full relationship means being open to receiving, but also open to offering back—a way to be with what arises.
For example, when something turns up, we say: “Hello.” That itself is a response. Over time, I’ve come to understand the subtle dance of receiving fully—letting something be as it wants to be, rather than partially, which can take time.
Sometimes, when past trauma surfaces, I find myself offering it information or inviting it to explore something. This can be done through open questions. You might sit with yourself and say:
"Hello… Oh yes, it’s like that. And now, it’s moving into this… or shifting slightly. It’s becoming less intense… or maybe more intense."
That’s what we do, right? But I think there’s also a more active side of focusing. We can offer something like:
"How would 'all okay' be for you right now?"
"How would 'all okay' begin to be for you in good time?"
"What would bring more ease, peace, or resolution to this part within the whole of you?"
These are gentle, respectful invitations. There’s a practice called dyads that involves listening to these invitations. They’re quite beautiful, and I’d love to explore them more.
This is where my perspective has shifted: I now see that letting things be the way they want to be includes offering. There are caveats to this, of course, and I wouldn’t suggest it lightly. But if a new way of being presents itself, it can be gently offered.
I’ve been experimenting with this and have noticed some interesting shifts. Sometimes, I say:
"I’m inviting you to sense more spaciousness, more ease, more peace right now."
This might be pushing the boundaries of traditional focusing, as it usually doesn’t involve such direct guidance. But I’m playing with it, and I’m finding that it brings fascinating results. I offer this with deep respect and sensitivity because, ultimately, it’s for each individual to explore in their own way.

Letting things Be the way they want to Be reflection

So I was asking you—how do you know when you're moving into a healing mode? And how do you know when you're not?
What's happening inside of you? What's going on in there?
How do you know?
Do you know? 
Because sometimes I say to myself, when there's an edge, when it's a bit challenging: Where's the healing edge in all of this? Is it in the whole thing? All of it? Because I'm not quite sure where it is. So I just ask: Where's the healing edge in all of this?
And I wait, you know.
Sometimes, it comes back and gives me something—maybe a certain shape in the body.
Sometimes, it doesn’t. But it's like—oh, it's like that.
It’s like that in there.
That’s the healing edge. Oh, okay. And then I can say hello to that, right?
So it's an open curiosity rather than an interrogative, pointed question. See what I’m saying?
For me, the question is: Where does the felt sense begin? And where does it end?
And I'm asking you with curiosity—where does the felt sense begin, and where does it end?
Just drop into that. Ask your whole body—what does that mean to it?
Does it begin in the heart area? The tummy? The throat? The face?
And where does it end? Around the shape of the heart? In the torso?
Does it begin in the sternum? Or is it more intense there?
Wherever it might be—does it radiate outward?
Does it end where the feet meet the ground?
Where the body meets the chair, or the bed?
Does it end at the skin, with the sensation of clothing?
Or does it extend to the shape of the room, or even beyond?
Where is it alive?
And if there’s something going on—say, a bird chirping or sunlight on your face—is that part of the felt sense? Or not?
What do you mean by the felt sense?
This is really important when it comes to healing.
Because—what’s the point of it?
I mean, maybe it’s heresy to ask—why do we have a felt sense?
I mean, it’s so mechanistic. But if you did ask, it’d be interesting to see what answer comes back—if anything comes back.
And if it did, it wouldn’t be a definitive answer.
I don’t think it would be. It would probably be quite complex.
Or maybe the answer would come through a gesture, or a sound, a symbol or metaphor
So—is the felt sense static? Or dynamic?
Is it in one place? Or many places?
Can you sense it in the whole experience? Or just in a part of it?
All these curiosities—along with many others—are questions.
And they all relate to the meaning of healing.
Because—well, what is healing?
And how does something know how to offer freshness from the old?
How does it know how to do that—especially with something that’s been stuck for 10 or 20 years?
And then, suddenly—there’s a surprise when you feel that melting into something genuinely different.
There’s a freshness appearing.
Where does that appear in a felt sense?
So—those curiosities.
Yeah. I’m wondering how that lands with you—without coming so much from your head.

.

Tsunami Surfing, Healing, Liberation and the Thrill of the Felt Sense Reflection

Sitting with the Felt Sense
The felt sense comes alive when we sit alongside something and be with it just as it is. This is perhaps the most challenging thing a human can do. On one hand, you don’t want to be with it. On the other, how do you be with it? And what is it, anyway? Many things come up around that. Yet when one entertains it, I believe it can be incredibly inspiring. Something in you will catch it and go, “Right. Okay.” It’s like one’s whole universe potentially shifts. When one is entertained by the felt sense, it's like Lyra, Philip Pullman's character with the subtle knife. She cuts through the air and enters another reality. I think that’s exactly it. The Edge of the Map
There’s a deep sigh of recognition about what’s heard here. It’s continually reminding itself of that, because it’s not a habit. It can’t be. That’s the beauty. It’s on the borderline of habit and non-habit. It’s at the edge of the map. You come to the edge of the map, and then what? It’s freeform. It’s like finding a whole new map. But the map can be different every time. A whole new place. Multi-dimensional. And it can only be a map in retrospect. You can’t have the map to begin with—it’s not there. Map is linear. This is more multi-dimensional. The map runs out, and you look back and go, “Oh, now I have a new map.” You can’t look forward with that map. It’s a new kind of way of being.

Metaphor, Creativity, and the Limit of Language
It’s very nourishing just to chat about it. Something in me gets it. It’s like that. It can only ever be a “like that” from this perspective. In a way, it’s another map—a metaphor or symbol. Like a pair of wings, like a surfboard. I talk about surfing. But maybe you have your own metaphor that fits better. This is where true creativity happens. It’s the place of the artist, the creative to create. And if someone is creating from a map, they’re not truly creating.

Shifting Paradigms
It’s a different paradigm. It’s liberating. I was talking to a friend. I used the phrase "going south." We’re a bit far north—let’s go south. It’s tough. Then they talked about being below the waterline—what’s happening there? We recognize that from different traditions. In a sense, we’re coming to the same point. And then the whole conversation calmed. And it was like—that’s it.

All We Have Is Relationship
Relationship. That’s it. We’re not having a relationship—we are relationship. We are interaction. We’re not having an interaction. The relational field is always alive. When you stop thinking about people as fixable objects—relationship emerges. What brought me into this was wanting a better relationship with my wife. Then I realized I needed a better relationship with what’s going on in here. It turns out all we have is relationship. When you get there—it’s all relationship.

Felt Sense as Portal to Living
The felt sense is a portal into the “thisness” of direct living. You could say direct intuitive living, though intuition can be misunderstood. Korzybski, the Polish semanticist, said “the map is not the territory.” We need maps. But we don’t need to be fooled by them. The left brain is a map. People are fooled because they believe them. They believe dichotomous ways of seeing the world as absolutely true—when they are just maps. Language is a map. A belief is a map. But ultimately, it’s not true.

Perspective and the Limits of Knowing
There’s always another view. My teacher spoke of this: look at the Plough, your favorite constellation. It’s beautiful. But if you called someone on Mars and said, “The Plough’s out, can you see it?” they’d say, “What are you talking about?” From their view, it doesn’t exist. If you go toward it—after 30 billion light years—you’d be inside it, and it wouldn’t look constellated. What we take as real is relative. It’s only real from the perspective of the seer.

End of the Map and Felt Sensing Beyond  - Reflection

The Deer, the Forest, and the Tiger

It's a bit like sitting next to a deer that comes out of a forest. You come down on your haunches and you wait. You see that deer. You don't run at it. You don't say, "Oh, there's a deer!" and run at the deer. It's like—oh my God, the deer runs off. Well, why wouldn't it? It knows something's there.

So we sit down. We wait. The deer comes close. The deer goes, "Oh, this is safe." And then it may finally come and lie down by you. And you go... you put your hand on the deer. Well, you might not. But there's a lot of beauty in this.

And then comes out a tiger. And we go, "Oh..." and then we really feel the ground. I mean, you look down slightly because you don't want to freak the tiger out, right? And we see its beautiful shape. It's a beautiful creature. Very, very beautiful. It's 500 pounds of sheer power and beauty, and it comes weaving over. It too sits down by the deer and by you. And you put your hands on both of them.

And you say: Welcome. That is presence.

Then the tiger gets up and wanders off. And you go, "Okay. It's cool." It's all me, in a way. 

Now there's a deep sigh because it recognizes the complexity of all that. And the beauty of befriending our monsters and our magicians, you know? And how they're not really there to attack us. They're there to serve us, really, underneath it all—if we take time to let them be and sit by them.

But we need to be in presence. We need to be grounded. That's the difference. Once we're there, whatever we do or say will be connecting.

And then Comes a Tiger

Guided Meditation: Universal Awareness and Grounding
Welcome and Universal Connection
Yes, welcome.
The universe welcomes us at all times.
Always, of course, into universal senses the elements presenting itself in its totality.
Sensing the Majesty of the Universe
Sensing... And the majesty of the universe is seamless.
Becoming available these sensing portals.
Like walking into Doctor Who's TARDIS, It appears normal. However... it is extraordinary, as well.
Ordinary and extraordinary.
Grounding Through the Feet
That's the feet. Sense the Earth. And the Earth senses the feet.
Sensing contact.
Perhaps sensing in the body come alive. And it's grounded awareness.
Being and grounding.
Expanding Awareness Outward
From the feet sensing the ground and the earth, resting here with these sensations.
Sensing can sense space in the room. On the room.
Into the infinity of things.
Well, as it were, sensing itself?
Into the starriness of things.
Celestial Imagery
Canopy of Jewels.
Sensing their light. More directions... Star-studded now.
Perhaps the eye can see in a sense, of wonder ,mystery, awe 
Integration: Grounded and Spacious
Grounded and spacious.
In sensing the spaciousness within... what's present there.
The jewels, the stars, shining their light, all the way to the inside.
Making Space and Offering Presence
Making room for what's here. I mean, alongside, or giving more space.
Offering a little hello. What's there.
Keeping company.
As we keep this company.
Resting here.


Grounded and Spacious Starriness of Things Attunement

Focusing Attunement Practice
Introduction
This is focusing attunement.
I generally hesitate to call them meditations.
I think because... it doesn't have the structure, you could say, of your classical mindfulness approach.
And it's based on the felt sense.
Rather than, let's say, on focusing on one particular thing, or doing anything as a technique.
So hopefully this is honouring our natural self.
And I really value that.
Honouring how we are in the moment.
Without constructing anything.
So that's my vision, I guess, of presence, really.
It's a natural, organic way of being.
Setting In
So, yes, feel free to sit, lie.
Invite your attention to my invitations, or place your attention wherever you like.
So, yes, I think the word here is natural.
Organic, emergent.
By invitation.
Sensing
And as we sense inwards, perhaps.
Or just sense.
The sensing can also be, as it were, outwards.
Sensing how your body is sensing.
Already.
What is it noticing?
Grounding
And perhaps there's a degree of noticing the earth beneath your feet.
The seat.
Perhaps you're lying.
Underneath you, or in front of you.
On your side...
So, contact and touch.
Where gravity meets the body.
This is natural.
Organic.
Already happening.
Perhaps just resting briefly with these sensations.
Body Awareness
And there's more.
The shape of your body senses itself, perhaps.
A bit more fully.
Clothing, fabric on the skin.
Warmth and cool.
Tingling sometimes.
Pulsing...
Breathing.
Just letting it be the way it wants to be.
Expanding Outward
Of course, the body can sense the room.
Space.
Perhaps familiar.
Sounds... near and far.
Perhaps those distant sounds take you outside.
Perhaps there's some nature, some trees, some grass, hedges.
Into the Cosmos
Beyond the treetops.
Through the clouds... perhaps into the big blue vault.
Star-studded skies.
Into that infinity.
No end to stars.
Keeping us company.
Connection with All Life
Giving the planet company, and all beings, all of nature.
All of the elements, the seas, the lakes.
Forests... coastal plains.
Swamps and bogs.
Mountain ranges.
Cities and towns, villages.
All of life.
We are inextricably connected.
Sensing What's Alive
As we hear breathing.
I'm making a bit of space to sense inwards what's alive here.
Lighting it warm.
Caring awareness, if you like.
What's there?
Something wanting tender company... or more space, maybe.
Settling
Just settling.
Landing.
Being in presence.
Letting it all rest in itself.
Closing
Just taking your time, really, to emerge.

Resting in the Relational: A Journey from Thinking to Being

Opening Invitation
Yeah, welcome to this passionate connection.
Attunement, attuning, connecting.
An invitation into presence.
________________________________________
Autumnal Scene
It's a rather gorgeous day.
It's autumnal… freshness.
The leaves are being offered.
Reverently, received by the earth.
In their various colours — yellows, oranges, and reds.
________________________________________
Garden and Stillness
And the Buddha sits patiently under the tree at the bottom of my garden.
Sunning himself.
It’s quite still.
There is a gorgeous blue sky.
And a clear light.
It's clear and warm.
I can hear the hum of bees in the background — the worker bees around a certain evergreen.
For some reason, they seem to love it there.
It’s nature at work.
________________________________________
Time of Transition
This is a time of transition.
A submission of the old.
And an invitation into some rest, gestation, hibernation.
A holding space, really.
Even though the buds of spring are already here, if you look closely — like on the trees.
So just waiting, a holding space here as we settle.
Me too.
A kind of mini hibernation.
Gestation, healing, and restoration period.
Letting the old sublimate into rest and renewal.
And the birds call.
________________________________________
Earth as Alchemist
Sensing the rich earth beneath us.
The great alchemist — that earth, that soil.
Just like the body is the great alchemist.
Resting in the body, resting.
Softening, if you like.
________________________________________
Inner and Outer Unity
Available to the inner, the apparent inner and the apparent outer.
Perhaps sensing their unity.
Resting in the space that extends infinitely…
In a sea of diamonds and pearls.
And a sea of diamonds and pearls within.
Caverns and caves, mountains.
Spaces.
Treasures.
And demons and monsters, sometimes.
Making room for it all, in the whole of this.
________________________________________
Needs and Feelings
Sensing feeling tones here in the body.
They’re telling us we have needs — met and unmet, of course.
For safety, security, rest, space.
For well-being and healing.
For restoration… the emergent life.
Connection, closeness, love.
Intimacy will blossom.
Warmth.
Freedom and ease.
Contentment.
Play and fun.
Learning and growth.
________________________________________
Transformation
And these feelings are rather like leaves.
At some point, they spend themselves.
Turning different colours and shades of themselves.
Into something new.
In presence — transformation.
Into gold.
________________________________________
Closing
Resting here.

Restore Renew Refresh Golden Leaves of Autumn Attunement

Focusing Meditation
Welcome and Invitation
Welcome, everyone.
So this… focusing… Experience.
And… Yeah.
This is an invitation into…
Quality of being, a quality of presence, if you're inspired to be available to this.
Settling and Beginning
I was just kind of hovering… settling… pausing…
I'm just beginning to perhaps entertain
A sense of the whole body.
Let's so… Being sensitive to… Myriad and complexity.
Of this sensing experience.
Just start noticing.
And the body responds to this invitation.
Noticing Life
Yeah, noticing the life.
That's apparent here.
Life in Sensation.
Life in touch.
A life in sounds.
space.
being available.
this living… moment.
Emerging Wholeness
Perhaps the whole shape of the body Can begin to emerge.
In its full complexity.
and wholeness.
Perhaps sensing beyond the room.
Where does this wholeness actually end?
As it heads out towards the stars.
Grounding and Inner Landscape
Sensing Mother Earth beneath the body.
I'm sensing the contours and shapes within
Maybe an expansive sense of the inner world, or… more constricted.
Well, neither or Both.
Integration
Available to the life.
Being offered in its fullness.
Both inwardly and outwardly.
Perhaps allowing them… to join up.
To a continuous whole.
Just rest in itself.
Closing
just resting.
As the universe breathes this body.
This body breathes the universe.

Where is the Life? Breathed by the Universe Life Attunement

What does this actually mean to attune? That's the question.
There's something about... for me, life. And how it resonates. How it lives itself forward, if you like.
The Limits of Language
One can't really capture the spirit fully in words. But one can imply it, I guess. You can open up portals into direct experience.
Or the direct experience is already here. Who is it?
Where does language end and experience begin?
Would a rose smell just as sweet if it were not called a rose?
Being Claimed by the Universe
And something in me would like to imagine at this point in time the universe is coming to claim us. Yeah. As it were, already claimed.
Hovering in the Pause
So, just hovering in the pause.
There's something here that kind of... knows.
And can sit in a kind of availability, openness. Something can open.
That's not a mechanistic thing, it's rooted in relationship and meaning.
Connection with the Earth
So, the connection with the Earth through the chair, or the ground, for seats, sofa, bed.
It just knows itself to be connected. Connecting.
And that can invite the livingness of its totality to come forward. To sense the shape of the body, perhaps.
Sensing Outward: Boundarylessness
And where does that shape end? Especially if the body senses outwards. The sounds and spaces.
It knows no boundary. It can go through walls very easily into the ether.
And sense the stariness of things.
The Breathing Mystery
So this mystery is not static.
And it breathes.
Making Room for Life
Sensing the life running through the body. Making room for all of that. What's there.
Leaning in, if you like, to the subtlety, ecstasy, and obviousness.
Making room for what is to be held. With care, perhaps.
Meeting it in a way that works for your body. Maybe with a little...
Closing
Settling alongside all that.

The Universe Claims you: Mystery of Living Breathing Universe Attunement

Presence Deep Rest Meditations and Reflections inspired by Focusing, Mindfulness and Nonviolent communication Embodied Relational Presence training and personal coaching.  https://www.living-presence.co.uk/

Playcise 4 Body Noticing and Aliveness Focusing Quality

Simon McKibbin Presence Meditations & Reflections