‘And there’s something here perhaps that the body is offering you, something wanting, something, raw, something hurting…. Inviting it to feast at the table, the fullness of this experience, being empathically received in presence, just letting g it be the way it wants to be, allowing it to find it’s own way into its own healing and wholeness all in good time.’
Focusing Courses Autumn 2024 https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing
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https://www.living-presence.co.uk/podcast
How do you approach yourself other than react, attack, freeze, overwhelm, dissociate, the deep grooves of repetition and habit?  Find out how to flourish and thrive.....the focusing way.

‘This is the alchemy that turns ore into gold, carbon into diamonds, pupa into butterflies.  The butterfly of the felt sense knows its own freedom, is unbounded, and natural…..’

‘We are intimately connected, we are all born of stardust and heat form the sun, and from the waters of the mighty oceans and lakes, from the earth, from the space around us. There is innate wisdom in these elements as they combine into animation, into us, just being available to this mystery of the life that runs through  us, how amazing.‘

‘This is the matrix for creativity, healing, flow the fresh edge that knows its own way, that knows its own direction, without restraint, without patterning, expressing itself in the moment spontaneously, playfully even.’

More on Simon and Living Presence: https://www.living-presence.co.uk/

Exquisite Alchemy of Focusing Support Attunements Reflections Exercises

These reflections on the complexities and challenges of being Human started out as brief memo's to self and carried on by the winds of my own inpiration to become 'reflections'.  I follow my feel-felt sense in the winds of my own inspiration. They are not neccessarily tidy or well thought out but do get into some pithy and interesting areas of how to meet the dilemmas and ambiguities of being Human.                                                                                     Healing and Creativity Course April and Sept 2022 go to https://bit.ly/FocusingHealingCreativity

Reflections on the complexities of Being Human

These Spontaneous Reflections offer a light hearted exploration into the forest of and maize of meanings relating to our Existential edges around what it means to be Human with a curiosity for life and its Mystery.  What is your experience of this 'edge'?  Do you have a sense of this 'Mystery'?  What resources and creative responses might help in this Human enigma?

More on Simon and Presence coaching and courses:
www.living-presence.co.uk
https://thebuddhistcentre.com/

Human Dilemmas, The Mystery, Insight Curiosities and the Fresh Edge

Tired of being relentlessly stuck?  Overwhelmed and despairing about the stories and feelings you can't get out of?  Listen to this for inspiration ....... go to  Healing and Creativity Course to learn skills in deep freedom https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing

How does change REALLY happen? Find relief from STUCK Fear Anxiety Sadness Anger Hurt etc

What invites deep and resonant change in our seemingly embedded beliefs and emotional patternings?
What brings us together in a way that information, politics, views and ideas can often just leave us feeling empty?
What invites the fresh edge and forward flow to run through the veins in our body where freedom is a visceral experience not something to be chased?

Exploring the nature of depth transformation and emergent community

How can you engender a safe and fertile learning and community space through Presence in the teaching context? How can moving from a purely didactic information led teaching style into a more relational and interactive approach through Presence bring deep meaning and significance?  What does a 'mutual availability' mean when entering into deeper resonance with others? How can entertaining the what we 'don't know we don't know' offer space for mystery and significance to perfume us personally and as a collective in the teaching context?

Presence enriched teaching for deep connection, relationship, learning  and community

What are the mechanisms that make us prey to anxiety, and how can mindfulness help to offer resilience and wellbeing? This is an informal reflection on the nature of Mindfulness and how it can help us to reclaim our lives into a whole sense of Being that is satisfying and rewarding.

Mindfulness & Climate Anxiety introduction,  reflection and meditation.

Living can often be overwhelming and bewildering with inner and outer complexity leading to anxiety and a sense of threat.  
How do we invite a bigger and more grounded sense of our selves?  What shifts in awareness can bring safety and deep healing? How do we welcome parts of us that are stuck and scared so they can come into their flow and a new freshness of living can emerge? How could you relate to your inner baby elephant?!!

Presence for a Liberated 'You': All upcoming courses Sept 2022 www.tickettailor.com/events/livingpresence

Who Am I in a world of complexity and ambiguity?  Safety Healing & Wholeness Restored

Responding to news and our experience of Climate change and destruction can be distressing and overwhelming.  There are many ways to personally respond to the ongoing news on the climate, many of which can leave us paralysed, fearful and disconnected.  I invite responses based on our humanity and a natural ability to be resilient and creative leaving us with more choice and wellbeing.

Climate Anxiety Disconnection & Overwhelm Response CADOR Plus Approaches To Empowerment

"Certainly, Focusing and the Dharma are not separate in this world. They are like the ocean and the horizon, and the great sky above—not separate, breathing itself, living itself, reveling in the majesty of things."
Courses and Coaching: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/focusing

"The fullness of itself rests in the fullness of itself. In this way, there is no polarity, but neither would one call it non-duality, so no duality and no non-duality."

"Presence rests in Presence. So, I guess my language for the Great Liberation, you could say, is Presence: Pre-Sence, that which comes before sense, that Mystery."

"Focusing is not about focusing. When something becomes about something, Buddhism becomes about Buddhism, or Nonviolent Communication becomes about NVC, it’s as if we go to a revolving door and we keep revolving around inside it."

"The function of a revolving door is to act as a portal into the very space or different space that you are wanting to get to."

"Hopefully what is happening is I am entering my Humanity more deeply. It’s a natural expression of my Humanity, Focusing, NVC, Mindfulness, Buddhism, they are not about themselves, they are pointing beyond themselves in a way."

"All true liberation teachings, according to her, always point to direct experience. If they are pointing to ‘Talking about’ Enlightenment, the great freedom etc, then they are not the true teaching, they are merely a dichotomy promoting and reinforcing itself."

"She mentions this term ‘Being Perception’—becoming perception, entering the realm of perception, as if we drop into the realm of perception rather than talking about it, in this way becoming awareness itself."

"The felt sense is the heart of Gene Gendlin’s Focusing, not feeling, but the felt sense, which is more than a feeling, it’s the inclusive whole to an experience that is alive."

"When there is a whole perception of itself, it is an invitation into full sensory awareness from its own terms as it drops into itself, so to speak, there is neither a duality nor a non-duality, and it just rests in itself."

"As this body here is listening to these sounds, so to speak, it can also notice the earth, the body can sense the whole shape of itself even as these sounds manifest and the spaciousness from the skin’s perspective, as it were, radiating out beyond these four walls up into the blue or dark night sky with a trillion shimmering diamonds."

"It’s the pregnant empathic pause from the whole sense of itself, and as this does so, and as the words and labels and interpretations, as it were, are just offered to space in the totality of things, they no longer have dominion over creating a split."

"The whole of this that owns itself, that, as it were, is hearing back from itself, or even as it were, is pausing in the hearing, the availability of the hearing back from itself, the whole of itself, the whole of itself hears back from the whole of itself."

"The map is not the territory, the finger pointing to the moon is the finger pointing to the moon, this is invariably an invitation for the moon and the light of the moon to inhabit itself. It just bathes itself in its own light."

"Focusing has been a portal for me personally into the mystery of the whole of this, playing itself out. Focusing, which of course, is not about focusing!"

Focusing Insight Duality Non-duality & the Wisdom of The Felt Sense

An exploration around what it means to come into relationship with parts of ourselves.  Focusing is about exquisite relationship, it’s about the relational field that we can inhabit fully, but normally, to be fair, we have learned the Cartesian paradigm, of ‘I think therefore I am’ something believes it is fixed, and it lives in its head, something like that. And it’s anchored into thinking as its core identity.  So, Gene Gendlin offered the Focusing paradigm realising that the sensing home, was the heir to meaning, to life itself, to a flourishing quality of living that was not hostage purely to ideas, beliefs and thoughts. So, this is just a quick, how do we meet and greet parts of ourselves how do we say hello to them, in a way that honour them, that can begin the process of healing and forward movement. Well, quire simply, we just pause, in the chaos and movement, its still going to be chaotic and moving, but something in us is a bit stiller. 
This something stiller can sense feet on the earth the body on the seat/settee, and the sensing body can just begin to land in itself more fully, clothing on the skin, breathing in the breathing, whole body breathing, and if you like you can place your hand on your chest or tummy, it sometimes helps. Allowing your body to sense outwards into space, into your room, and beyond up into that sea of stars. We are born of course from that sea of stars, we are stardust, stardust on the edge of its own growth and evolution. The universe with its hand on its chest or tummy, sensing within inviting a gentleness, a care, a warm awareness, and giving what ever is inside here, lots of space to be the way it wants to be to come alongside us if it will let us, to keep it company. It is a something inside of us, some body of experience, clear or not clear. Or not a lot going on, we can welcome that. And if you like, if its ok by it, just offering a little kindly hello, I’m just keeping you company, from the whole of this, and you can find a home in your own unique way I call this Embodied Relational Presence. As we complete, I am not abandoning anything, I can keep close to you if you want me to or give you space, and remaining in presence as we complete, if that works for you.

Compassionate Approach Saying Hello to Vulnerability Within

Letting Things Be the Way They Want to Be
I think, in my own focusing evolution, I’ve changed tack slightly. I’ve shifted my approach to letting things be the way they want to be. Now, it feels more contextual for me. There’s an awareness around it that I didn’t have before.
Recently, I worked through a small bubble of old trauma. Occasionally, it still comes through a little, and the process has been quite interesting—at times, even intense. But yes, in true focusing fashion, when something arises, you receive it, make space for it, and say:
"Hello! There you are! This is it?"
I would like to add something to this principle. I believe we each learn, in our own way, how to relate to different parts of ourselves. It’s not just about passively letting things be the way they want to be; it’s about receiving something fully. It’s an incoming—an incoming experience, an incoming awareness.
Classically, we might push against it, repress it, or freeze. But in focusing, we come into full relationship. Full relationship means being open to receiving, but also open to offering back—a way to be with what arises.
For example, when something turns up, we say: “Hello.” That itself is a response. Over time, I’ve come to understand the subtle dance of receiving fully—letting something be as it wants to be, rather than partially, which can take time.
Sometimes, when past trauma surfaces, I find myself offering it information or inviting it to explore something. This can be done through open questions. You might sit with yourself and say:
"Hello… Oh yes, it’s like that. And now, it’s moving into this… or shifting slightly. It’s becoming less intense… or maybe more intense."
That’s what we do, right? But I think there’s also a more active side of focusing. We can offer something like:
"How would 'all okay' be for you right now?"
"How would 'all okay' begin to be for you in good time?"
"What would bring more ease, peace, or resolution to this part within the whole of you?"
These are gentle, respectful invitations. There’s a practice called dyads that involves listening to these invitations. They’re quite beautiful, and I’d love to explore them more.
This is where my perspective has shifted: I now see that letting things be the way they want to be includes offering. There are caveats to this, of course, and I wouldn’t suggest it lightly. But if a new way of being presents itself, it can be gently offered.
I’ve been experimenting with this and have noticed some interesting shifts. Sometimes, I say:
"I’m inviting you to sense more spaciousness, more ease, more peace right now."
This might be pushing the boundaries of traditional focusing, as it usually doesn’t involve such direct guidance. But I’m playing with it, and I’m finding that it brings fascinating results. I offer this with deep respect and sensitivity because, ultimately, it’s for each individual to explore in their own way.

Letting things Be the way they want to Be reflection

So I was asking you—how do you know when you're moving into a healing mode? And how do you know when you're not?
What's happening inside of you? What's going on in there?
How do you know?
Do you know? 
Because sometimes I say to myself, when there's an edge, when it's a bit challenging: Where's the healing edge in all of this? Is it in the whole thing? All of it? Because I'm not quite sure where it is. So I just ask: Where's the healing edge in all of this?
And I wait, you know.
Sometimes, it comes back and gives me something—maybe a certain shape in the body.
Sometimes, it doesn’t. But it's like—oh, it's like that.
It’s like that in there.
That’s the healing edge. Oh, okay. And then I can say hello to that, right?
So it's an open curiosity rather than an interrogative, pointed question. See what I’m saying?
For me, the question is: Where does the felt sense begin? And where does it end?
And I'm asking you with curiosity—where does the felt sense begin, and where does it end?
Just drop into that. Ask your whole body—what does that mean to it?
Does it begin in the heart area? The tummy? The throat? The face?
And where does it end? Around the shape of the heart? In the torso?
Does it begin in the sternum? Or is it more intense there?
Wherever it might be—does it radiate outward?
Does it end where the feet meet the ground?
Where the body meets the chair, or the bed?
Does it end at the skin, with the sensation of clothing?
Or does it extend to the shape of the room, or even beyond?
Where is it alive?
And if there’s something going on—say, a bird chirping or sunlight on your face—is that part of the felt sense? Or not?
What do you mean by the felt sense?
This is really important when it comes to healing.
Because—what’s the point of it?
I mean, maybe it’s heresy to ask—why do we have a felt sense?
I mean, it’s so mechanistic. But if you did ask, it’d be interesting to see what answer comes back—if anything comes back.
And if it did, it wouldn’t be a definitive answer.
I don’t think it would be. It would probably be quite complex.
Or maybe the answer would come through a gesture, or a sound, a symbol or metaphor
So—is the felt sense static? Or dynamic?
Is it in one place? Or many places?
Can you sense it in the whole experience? Or just in a part of it?
All these curiosities—along with many others—are questions.
And they all relate to the meaning of healing.
Because—well, what is healing?
And how does something know how to offer freshness from the old?
How does it know how to do that—especially with something that’s been stuck for 10 or 20 years?
And then, suddenly—there’s a surprise when you feel that melting into something genuinely different.
There’s a freshness appearing.
Where does that appear in a felt sense?
So—those curiosities.
Yeah. I’m wondering how that lands with you—without coming so much from your head.

.

Tsunami Surfing, Healing, Liberation and the Thrill of the Felt Sense Reflection

Identity and the Mystery of Language
I want to come back to this word: identity.
It seems to me to be the crux of so many issues in the world — and in our own worlds, too.
It’s not just the world — it's the bounding off, the compartmentalization, the fixing.
Healthy on a certain level, yes. But in Focusing, there’s an invitation:
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I a man? A woman? Neither, or both?
Am I defined by the group, by another individual, by something in me?
Would a rose be just as sweet if it were called something else?
How does the label define the identity, and how does the identity define the label?
Language and experience — it’s a very curious mystery.
"Terrorist" or "freedom fighter" — what is this?
There are no true "nounings" — there are some, but predominantly, experience is verbing.
A sense of this-isness rather than "I am," "you are," "we are going to do."
Fixed identity — the "I Am" — creates a rigid duality. Then the problems start:
My nation, your nation. My goods, your goods. What's yours is negotiable; what's mine is mine.

At the End of the Map What then

Identity 'I Am' 'Something in Me' Who are you? Existential Focusing Reflection

Sitting with the Felt Sense
The felt sense comes alive when we sit alongside something and be with it just as it is. This is perhaps the most challenging thing a human can do. On one hand, you don’t want to be with it. On the other, how do you be with it? And what is it, anyway? Many things come up around that. Yet when one entertains it, I believe it can be incredibly inspiring. Something in you will catch it and go, “Right. Okay.” It’s like one’s whole universe potentially shifts. When one is entertained by the felt sense, it's like Lyra, Philip Pullman's character with the subtle knife. She cuts through the air and enters another reality. I think that’s exactly it. The Edge of the Map
There’s a deep sigh of recognition about what’s heard here. It’s continually reminding itself of that, because it’s not a habit. It can’t be. That’s the beauty. It’s on the borderline of habit and non-habit. It’s at the edge of the map. You come to the edge of the map, and then what? It’s freeform. It’s like finding a whole new map. But the map can be different every time. A whole new place. Multi-dimensional. And it can only be a map in retrospect. You can’t have the map to begin with—it’s not there. Map is linear. This is more multi-dimensional. The map runs out, and you look back and go, “Oh, now I have a new map.” You can’t look forward with that map. It’s a new kind of way of being.

Metaphor, Creativity, and the Limit of Language
It’s very nourishing just to chat about it. Something in me gets it. It’s like that. It can only ever be a “like that” from this perspective. In a way, it’s another map—a metaphor or symbol. Like a pair of wings, like a surfboard. I talk about surfing. But maybe you have your own metaphor that fits better. This is where true creativity happens. It’s the place of the artist, the creative to create. And if someone is creating from a map, they’re not truly creating.

Shifting Paradigms
It’s a different paradigm. It’s liberating. I was talking to a friend. I used the phrase "going south." We’re a bit far north—let’s go south. It’s tough. Then they talked about being below the waterline—what’s happening there? We recognize that from different traditions. In a sense, we’re coming to the same point. And then the whole conversation calmed. And it was like—that’s it.

All We Have Is Relationship
Relationship. That’s it. We’re not having a relationship—we are relationship. We are interaction. We’re not having an interaction. The relational field is always alive. When you stop thinking about people as fixable objects—relationship emerges. What brought me into this was wanting a better relationship with my wife. Then I realized I needed a better relationship with what’s going on in here. It turns out all we have is relationship. When you get there—it’s all relationship.

Felt Sense as Portal to Living
The felt sense is a portal into the “thisness” of direct living. You could say direct intuitive living, though intuition can be misunderstood. Korzybski, the Polish semanticist, said “the map is not the territory.” We need maps. But we don’t need to be fooled by them. The left brain is a map. People are fooled because they believe them. They believe dichotomous ways of seeing the world as absolutely true—when they are just maps. Language is a map. A belief is a map. But ultimately, it’s not true.

Perspective and the Limits of Knowing
There’s always another view. My teacher spoke of this: look at the Plough, your favorite constellation. It’s beautiful. But if you called someone on Mars and said, “The Plough’s out, can you see it?” they’d say, “What are you talking about?” From their view, it doesn’t exist. If you go toward it—after 30 billion light years—you’d be inside it, and it wouldn’t look constellated. What we take as real is relative. It’s only real from the perspective of the seer.

End of the Map and Felt Sensing Beyond  - Reflection

A lively discussion including contributions from Manvir Hansra and Raffi Campbell. 

The felt sense is a bit like a precious pearl in the ocean, and the narrative is a bit like—what could it be? It’s like a big trawler’s fishing net, you know, that’s really thrown out far and wide, pulling up all kinds of debris. But the real felt sense, that’s—the narrative is the trawler and the net. The felt sense is the pearl. And she sits quietly there. It’s like that. It’s a metaphor, right? But you get what I mean by the trawler.

It's gonna feel very real. Yes. We've got all this stuff in the net. Oh, what have we got? Oh, we got an old dustbin. Oh, we caught a dolphin. Need to put that back, right? And—yeah—maybe I'm doing a disservice to the narrative. But maybe it has a place to do a bit of a disservice to it, that’s trying to run the show, is trying to steal from the ocean right in this kind of way. Maybe the ocean itself is sensing in its fullness.
The Call of the Heart and the North Star
• Focusing offers a vital path to authenticity — following “the North Star of your heart.”
• It invites openness where we’d typically close down, setting us apart with empathic presence and humility.
• Both focusing and meditation rest on the Mystery — not mechanical methods, but a living relationship with inner freedom.

Mindfulness: Dharma vs. Method
• Mindfulness is not meditation; it is Dharma — a liberating relationship with reality.
• Breath counting and body scans reduce mindfulness to mechanical practice, mistaking means for ends.
• The true heart of mindfulness points to dignity and inner freedom, not control.

The Pitfall of the Fixed Self
• Much mainstream mindfulness implies a fixed self that must control experience.
• Terms like “body scan” reduce us to machinery; “bring it back” creates an inner dualism.
• This model implies failure if thoughts stray, reinforcing judgment and tension.

The Organic Way: Focusing as Meditation
• Focusing is emergent, inclusive, and organic.
• No “bringing back” — just allowing what’s already here to unfold.
• The body senses itself. Stories are welcomed. There is no central controller.

Presence Instead of Meditation
• Presence carries fewer preconceptions than “meditation.”
• It can arise anywhere — at a bus stop or in bed.
• It’s about letting the body notice, not doing something to it.

Cosmic Context and Imaginal Sensing
• The body can sense the stars — not through sight, but through imaginal awareness.
• This cosmic felt sense brings vastness and belonging.
• There is something in us that quietly knows this larger context.

The Meaning Body
• Beneath emotion is the felt sense — a meaning-laden, pre-verbal sensation.
• It streams knowing not through thought but direct bodily experience.
• This “meaning body” is:
o Where intuitive knowing lives.
o A portal to wisdom and compassion.
o Life sensing itself in wholeness.

The Pearl and the Net
• The felt sense is a precious pearl in the ocean.
• The narrative is a trawler’s net — often pulling debris, sometimes treasure, but rarely the pearl.
• Mistaking the net for the ocean blinds us to the subtle truths within.

Focusing as Resting in Itself
• Focusing is the whole self resting in itself — not effort, but natural unfolding.
• There may be gentle intentionality, but even that fades.
• The process eventually looks after itself.

Sensing as Portal
• Sensing is not the end — it’s the portal to the "more" that knows its truth.
• It bypasses conceptual frameworks like duality or non-duality.
• The evaluating mind cares for labels; the body simply is.

Beyond Non-Duality
• Chasing “non-dual experiences” often leads to mental tangles.
• The body doesn’t care for duality or its absence — it just lives truthfully.
• Presence offers a refuge beyond all categories.

Focusing Meditation and The Dharma Discussion

The Deer, the Forest, and the Tiger

It's a bit like sitting next to a deer that comes out of a forest. You come down on your haunches and you wait. You see that deer. You don't run at it. You don't say, "Oh, there's a deer!" and run at the deer. It's like—oh my God, the deer runs off. Well, why wouldn't it? It knows something's there.

So we sit down. We wait. The deer comes close. The deer goes, "Oh, this is safe." And then it may finally come and lie down by you. And you go... you put your hand on the deer. Well, you might not. But there's a lot of beauty in this.

And then comes out a tiger. And we go, "Oh..." and then we really feel the ground. I mean, you look down slightly because you don't want to freak the tiger out, right? And we see its beautiful shape. It's a beautiful creature. Very, very beautiful. It's 500 pounds of sheer power and beauty, and it comes weaving over. It too sits down by the deer and by you. And you put your hands on both of them.

And you say: Welcome. That is presence.

Then the tiger gets up and wanders off. And you go, "Okay. It's cool." It's all me, in a way. 

Now there's a deep sigh because it recognizes the complexity of all that. And the beauty of befriending our monsters and our magicians, you know? And how they're not really there to attack us. They're there to serve us, really, underneath it all—if we take time to let them be and sit by them.

But we need to be in presence. We need to be grounded. That's the difference. Once we're there, whatever we do or say will be connecting.

And then Comes a Tiger

Padmasambhava the Magician, Transformer and Fearless Friend.

Padmasambhava's Realm a short Invocation to Accompany you

Presence Deep Rest Meditations and Reflections inspired by Focusing, Mindfulness and Nonviolent communication Embodied Relational Presence training and personal coaching.  https://www.living-presence.co.uk/

How does change REALLY happen? Find relief from STUCK Fear Anxiety Sadness Anger Hurt etc

Simon McKibbin Presence Meditations & Reflections